September 14th, 2020 Connected
Since our last edition: I've maintained the integrity of my food plan boundaries, I've remained refined sugar-free, I've met or exceeded my daily water goal, I've been intermittingly getting in exercise sessions, toggling between body-weight strength routines and walks, and I've also stayed well connected with exceptional support.
In the past, like--the distant past, absence from this blog was a strong indicator of intense struggle. I've received several messages of concern lately and I appreciate every single one of them, thank you! I'm doing well, one day at a time, always--and in many ways, more connected than ever before.
I've increased my connections with people and I've doubled down on the spiritual, mental, and emotional side of things.
Blogger has changed formatting. No longer will you see my Instagram accountability postings on this blog. Even though this change was brought about by technical issues, it's a good change. Rest assured, I still weigh and measure, log, and Instagram my food each day---and if you really wanted to check on that, you'll find it there, every single day: instagram.com/seanaanderson But the thing is, this entire journey isn't about the food.
My personal food plan is simply a tool that helps keep me clear-headed enough to do the real work along the way. I can't make spiritual progress if I'm in the food. My food postings on Instagram were never meant to be anything other than an accountability tool for me. When I post a meal, I'm instantly sharing my food with almost a thousand people. Granted, only a handful look at it, but it's there. It's simply a function of the tool that is my abstinent food plan. It isn't a recommendation, it isn't for recipe ideas, it isn't a "hey, look at what I made" kinda thing. It's simply an accountability measure for my personal food plan. I make it enjoyable to me, I keep it refined sugar-free, and when/if changes need to be made, I consult another person for those changes.
As I become more and more into my recovery, I become torn on how to continue this twelve-year commitment on this blog. Tomorrow is the 12th Anniversary of that night when this whole thing started in 2008. I don't like the title of this blog, I don't like the URL I selected on the first night--and I don't like these things because they lend energy to a diet mentality that ultimately never worked for me. I didn't know what I didn't know back then.
This road isn't all about the food and achieving a dramatic physical transformation. I've done that and trust me, when that's the number one goal, it'll leave you sorely disappointed. It did me.
The spiritual, mental, and emotional transformation--the learning how to feel feelings and navigate life in better ways--the willingness to let go and trust a power greater than myself...that's where the good stuff is found. If I'm searching, listening, and learning in that direction, the physical parts take care of itself--very much a side effect of my spiritual condition. Those things are ongoing, one day at a time. I must renew that subscription each and every morning when I get down on my knees and ask for help to get me through one more day.
These things aren't new to me. Yet, I was continuing on and presenting this blog and other media in ways that could be interpreted as diet mentality and didn't always reflect the hope, strength, and experience that has dramatically reshaped my values along this road. I don't diet. This blog isn't about dieting, it's about living.
I don't know it all. It wouldn't matter if I did because it isn't about what I know, it's only about what I do. Remember, my best "knowing" kept me in the obsession, in that life-stealing preoccupation and near, at, or above 500 pounds for almost twenty years.
I look forward to continuing this blog in a way that is in harmony with my heart, mind, and soul.
MOM Update:
Mom is still in quarantine after several staff and residents tested positive for COVID-19. She's safe and doing well--they're keeping her healthy. Mom's UTI has cleared and with that comes a clarity with her thoughts. She understands why she can't go back to her regular room at the moment. As soon as the nursing home gets a stretch with zero new cases, they'll get her back into her regular room. She misses being in her place.
In the meantime, we visit via video chat daily. Mom is also getting better with the portal controls. This enables her to reach out more often with me, her siblings, and others.
I'm full of gratitude as I hit the pillow tonight.
Thank you for reading and continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, Google Play for Android, Spotify, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 24 episodes waiting for you!
Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com