Tuesday, September 22, 2015

September 22nd, 2015 Crying Is Not A Bad Thing

September 22nd, 2015 Crying Is Not A Bad Thing

Today was a well rounded day. And by "well rounded," I mean it had its ups and downs. It had challenges that sent me reaching out for support.

I had some emotionally challenging circumstances this afternoon. And not because my lunch pizza creation fell apart during the plating process (see Tweet below). 

In the moments of challenge, I experienced sadness and anger. These two emotions are ones I rarely deal with, especially anger. I pride myself on staying fairly cool and collected, even when I'm really furious about something. But not today. Oh no...I took on a wave of these two and felt very unstable afterward. Nervousness, shaky, jolted from my comfort zone and just out of sorts. And you know what I'm really good at doing in these moments? I'm a pro at stuffing those emotions down with plenty of excessive food!

I mean seriously, let's look at the numbers: I have almost four decades of experience in stuffing emotions with food and a fraction of that, not. Which am I better at doing? This thought was first presented to me by Life Coach Gerri and it makes perfect sense.

There's an intersection approached at this point. It's the intersection of Resolve Way and Insanity Boulevard. 

If I turn onto Insanity Boulevard, then I'll keep doing what I've done time and time again for countless years. Everything looks bright and shiny down Insanity, with a shimmering promise of how everything will be better. But it's a deceitful trap. It's really just a detour of distraction that leads to an unresolved dead end--and then, on top of the original feelings prompting my detour, I add to it feelings of disappointment in my decision to do this same thing, over and over again.

Resolve Way is straight ahead. It doesn't seem as exciting. Not too shiny that way. Not much down that road to distract me and that leaves me having to deal with the emotions at hand, processing and understanding and applying some helpful perspectives to it all. It's a hard decision to go down Resolve Way. It takes some encouragement, some reassurance that it'll be okay. And that's when making contact with good support becomes critically important.

I texted Gerri, "When I feel like this, it makes me want to cry. And that makes me want to eat." Gerri replied, simply: "Crying is not a bad thing. Cry instead of eating, okay?" Me: "I'm preparing a lunch in harmony with my sacred boundaries." Gerri: "Good. And you're telling on yourself." Me: "Yep." Gerri: "You did the right thing."

We exchanged a few more specific to the issue messages, she offered some excellent perspective and then added: "Relax, renew & retreat. The challenge is over for now." 

And it was.

She suggested I reach out and help others within our support groups. Suddenly I was on the other end of the support dynamic, offering perspectives and encouragement to anyone in need. This made a significant difference. It wasn't too long before I was planning a good workout prior to our Tuesday night support group conference call and putting together a nice plan for dinner.

Emotions felt, perspectives explored, crisis averted.

And that's not an easy thing to do when you're a pro at doing the opposite. But it gets easier each time, thank goodness. It really does get easier.

 The Winning Loser Video Blog Episode 1.5 finally uploaded after taking forever! I added it to last night's blog, this morning. In case you missed it, here it is:

I plan on making these shorter moving forward. Ten minutes is a little too long. The fully produced versions will run between 4 and 6 minutes, these .5 versions should be around 4 or 5 minutes.

Thank you for watching!

My Tweets Today:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
at

14 comments:

  1. laobeauSeptember 22, 2015 at 10:40 PM

    More good insight. I have mastered giving up fast food but still struggle with overeating comfort foods or any food. I don't eat several spears of asparagus, I eat the whole bunch, a half a watermelon, etc. It doesn't have to be candy or baked goods

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sean AndersonSeptember 23, 2015 at 9:24 PM

      You're making excellent progress. It all takes time and practice, a good system of accountability and support, each and every day.

      Delete
  2. #fatfreefloozySeptember 23, 2015 at 4:38 AM

    Congrats on launching your youtube channel! It's so cute!!! And for the insights!

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownSeptember 23, 2015 at 5:25 AM

    Fun video but I wonder if anyone else is having a hard time finding their " core elements" because I sure am.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sean AndersonSeptember 23, 2015 at 9:33 PM

      The harder they are to identify, the more important it is to not give up in recognizing them.
      They're there, within you, Robin.
      What are the things in life that bring you joy? What are you good at doing? Can you identify special talents you possess? If there's something you believe in passionately, what is it? Are you kind, loving and compassionate to others?
      Are you a reader? What kind of movies do you love?
      All of these questions and more can help you identify the core elements of you--the ones that have never changed when your size changes... these are the things we tend to ignore when all of our focus is on feeling negative about our size/appearance or when we're feeling great about it...
      What makes us awesome, Robin, doesn't increase with weight loss and it doesn't decrease with weight gain... It's there, just waiting for some loving attention from you.
      It's an important exercise--because in it, is truly, the secret to happiness, in my opinion.

      Delete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 23, 2015 at 5:28 AM

    Oh, I'm liking this video ...You're a hoot! I'll be following you...Thanks Sean.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousSeptember 23, 2015 at 12:48 PM

    Hi Sean-- Great 1.5!! That' a great suggestion. Lot's to sort out. Thank you. :) Patti

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sean AndersonSeptember 23, 2015 at 9:36 PM

      Patti, it certainly can be a challenge, but worth the effort, I promise!! You're very welcome. And Thank you for the awesome review and for watching!

      Delete
  6. AnonymousSeptember 23, 2015 at 6:33 PM

    Sean, you handled that crisis well! Video is great and I really have to think about those elements. Pizza glob looks like it at least tasted really good!

    Dede

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sean AndersonSeptember 23, 2015 at 9:39 PM

      Thank you, Dede! Glad you enjoyed the video!! Pizza Glob tasted wonderful! :) I tried to load on too many ingredients--the thin flatbread wraps absorbed the moisture of the sauce and the mushrooms--and couldn't hold together!

      Delete
  7. NatalieSeptember 23, 2015 at 6:47 PM

    Crying can be a very good thing. And did you know that sad tears are chemically different from just your eyes watering?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sean AndersonSeptember 23, 2015 at 9:40 PM

      yes, I totally agree. The chemical differences are just fascinating, Natalie. Thank you!

      Delete

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