Sunday, February 21, 2016

February 21st, 2016 A Normal Conversation

February 21st, 2016 A Normal Conversation

One of the many blessings for me along this road is never having a shortage of things to explore along the way. Another blessing comes in the form of daily communications with great people via email, blog comments or via facebook, like this one with Susan:

Susan writes:
"Sean, your commitment to your calorie budget and abstinence from sugar is very encouraging for those who think they could not stick to a maintenance diet or refrain from sugar forever. I believe that looking at sugar as a substance to which you are addicted, and therefore you can never have any again, is a sound theory. All addicts know that there is no such thing as "just a little" or "just this one time". You truly are an inspiration."

My reply:
Thank you, Susan. My continued recovery requires this level of reverence. You're spot on. It took me a very long time to finally reach a point of acceptance in realizing, for me, there wasn't such a thing as "just a little" or "just this one time." I always thought I wanted to be "normal." The epiphany that I was actually trying to be someone else's normal--and this was my normal... was a big shift in perspective. I'm living my normal. And my normal is a great thing for me!

Susan writes:
"I like what you say about "my normal." An addict tends to lament, "why can't I be like 'normal' people and enjoy this (substance/activity) in moderation?" Looking at it as "my normal" and "other people's normal" should hopefully snuff out the self-pity."

 My reply:
This "my normal" perspective required a big shift. I routinely referred to myself as "not normal," as in--I can't eat like "a normal person." Or worse, "I wish I was normal." The truth is, in my opinion, there's no such thing as a universal normal. The idea that there is, encourages unfair comparisons to others. It's all relative to the individual. The discrepancy I continued to support was the very true belief that "all of us are different," yet--I would still categorize people as "normal" with food--while fully embracing that I wasn't...as if I was bad, or damaged--flawed in some way. The cornerstone of this perspective shift is found in not comparing ourselves to others. I am normal. This is my normal. I'm not bad, broken or flawed...I'm me. And if I want to feel bad, broken or flawed--all I need to do is forget my normal and attempt someone else's.

Today was fantastic. For whatever reason, I didn't sleep in as late as planned, but I did go back for a one hour refresher nap before embarking on an eventful afternoon/evening.

Today was the last performance of The Addams Family-A New Musical at Northern Oklahoma College. I really wanted to see this production and today was the last chance. Eddie Dixon, whom I acted alongside in Dog Sees God, was in the role of Gomez.

Kristin and I decided to make it an afternoon date. We were absolutely impressed in every way. The perfect casting, the acting, singing, the set, the orchestra--all of it was pro-level. It was fantastic. We tried to identify any weaknesses while driving back and we simply couldn't. It was that good.

I called ahead during intermission to let Noah know I would be running a little behind in picking him up for a stay-over. I spoke with his Nana (Irene) and she assured me he would be fine. I miss that little guy! I haven't had him here in a couple of weeks.
photo Noah and Me_zpsoogddpra.jpg
Noah and Me watching Lilo & Stitch. We had a great dinner (although he tried--then spit out the sweet potatoes) and both of us enjoyed some fruit for dessert.

I'm very blessed to have a good friend over to help me with him. I've yet to care for him 100% solo. I'll get my chance soon, I'm sure, but for now, I certainly appreciate the support. And everyone loves that little man. He brings so much joy wherever he's present.
photo At Addams Family_zpsw8xm2z9c.jpg
Today at The Addams Family-A New Musical! With my afternoon date, Kristin and some of the cast after the performance! If you're local to me and you missed this one, I'm so sorry. It was over-the-top excellent.

My food schedule often gets tilted on the weekends. It did a little bit today. It was after five when I grabbed a quick convenience store go-to meal of banana, almonds and cheese. The count was still a little low, leaving me with nearly 400 calories on the table post-dinner. I usually manage a little better. I left my natural peanut butter in the studio kitchen at work--or else making up the calories would have been easier. Instead, I finished the day with plenty of fruit.

I took extraordinary care. I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I exceeded my water goal of 64 ounces and I remained abstinent from refined sugar. It was a good day. I missed seeing mom today, but we spoke and we're planning to get together later in the week.

Noah is in his room, in the crib watching Lilo & Stitch 2 as he drifts off to sleepy town. I'm headed that way, too. I'll be listening to ten minutes of a powerful Ted Talk while I drift off. We're a lot alike, I do believe!

My Tweets Today:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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