December 20th, 2016 Emotional Day
Today wasn't fun. Picking up mom from the hospital and bringing her to the skilled nursing center was tough. She's so scared--and I try to calm her fears the best I can. The things I promised mom--the trips for shopping and occasionally dining out, are on hold for awhile. We were informed that during the skilled nursing care (up to the first 100 days), she's not allowed to leave the facility (per Medicare regulations). We're hoping to get special permission for a day after Christmas get together with family--but that may not happen. Instead, we'll be joining mom on Christmas day.
I imagine mom felt the same way I did today when she dropped me off for the first day of kindergarten forty years ago. The fear in her eyes--the worry, the tears welling up---just killed me to see that in her. Naturally, I want to protect her from these type of feelings-- but the truth is, she's truly right where she needs to be at this time. Her list of medical issues is a long one--far more extensive than we thought. She needs constant care. And she'll adjust--she'll get comfortable. It'll be okay.
I stayed well connected with support today. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar and I met my daily water goal.
It was a very emotional day.
I had to leave mom this evening and return to work a special in-studio broadcast for an annual event. Tonight was the biggest broadcast of the year in terms of listeners. I was thankful that a very good friend stepped in and stayed with mom on her first evening. Mom listened to the broadcast in her room. I stopped by after work, before picking up dinner--and I just spoke with her again on the phone. She's going to be okay. This is simply going to take an adjustment period.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
I know how hard this is. I cared for both my parents and it is a strange feeling when the roles suddenly really reverse. It's a letting go we just can't explain. But it will be okay. You will be okay. We are all here for you in peace and strength ......Bonnie from NY
ReplyDeleteOh Sean ~ I went thru this with my mother-in-lawand know how hard it is...emotionally plus time consuming to fit in every day. Want you to know, Prayers are flooding heaven!
ReplyDeleteN~
My heart goes out to you and your Mom, Sean. I know how difficult this is for both of you but it will be better as you both adjust. And hopefully she will be able to return home someday soon. Love and prayers to you both.
ReplyDeletestay close to your support system, Sean. YOU need to be strong and often that must come from without, when we're tapped out from within.
ReplyDeleteI remember the fear in my mom's eyes when we told her she could not go home; she tried so hard to be brave. Your mom will draw her strength, comfort and joy from you..so..take care of yourself through prayer and support and you both will be fine..Wishing your mother peace in her new adventures...
ReplyDeleteBig step , Sean. I have been trying to call her but get only voice mail. I am glad she is close by you
ReplyDeleteGlad you are changing up tradition so that you can celebrate with your mom and perhaps celebrate without her. My dad was in a hospital bed the last 3 years of his life.
ReplyDeleteWe all had to learn a new way to interact and celebrate and then again when he passed in 2013. Onward and here's to surfing those new waves.