October 23rd, 2018 Memory Lane-Birthday Edition

October 23rd, 2018 Memory Lane-Birthday Edition

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I thought I'd do something interesting for this post. Let's hop into the DDWL Time Machine!!

On my 36th birthday-11 months before starting this blog

Ten Years Ago:
There are about three small painful sores that need healing. And it will take 3 to 4 days of being immobile, on my back, legs elevated, prescription ointment and a heavy duty antibiotic to get it done. So the bad news is I will not be able to workout this Friday through Monday, the good news is, once the sores are completely healed by Monday night...I will probably never have another sore again. I say this with complete confidence because I remember what a positive effect losing 115 pounds back in 2004 had. When I got down to 385 back then, my leg was in great shape...minor swelling was about it...No sores or anything...And we weren't even wrapping every day! The health of my leg is a big motivating thought for me. I know that losing this weight will dramatically improve the condition. During this downtime, I will only get up to use the restroom and write very short blogs each evening. I also plan on reducing my calories during this four day period. It's just a minor speed bump, but a necessary one. And I'll emerge ready to hit the racquetball court and the treadmills even harder!

Tomorrow is my 37th birthday. Another year older is much easier to take when you realize that you're doing something positive every day. Bring it on 37! I'm ready for ya! I hope you truly understand how much I sincerely appreciate your support and readership here. I try to respond to all who comment, I get behind sometimes, but I will respond! And if you're traveling this same road let us know! I'll support you 100%.

Nine Years Ago:
Amber presented me with the most wonderful gift when we arrived back at the house. Let me give you a little back story on this one: When we visited the campus of Southwestern Oklahoma State University at the start of her freshman year, we found the university selling t-shirts that had a variety of things printed on them. Irene bought a “SWOSU MOM” t-shirt, and I really wanted a “SWOSU Dad” shirt. At 505 pounds, there was no way in the world they had one that would even come close to fitting. We looked, nope---no “SWOSU Dad” shirt for me. That experience was from September 2008, two days later I started this life-changing journey. Well, after losing nearly 225 pounds so far, I have one now! Amber presented me with one last night for my birthday. A 2x, and it fit so perfectly---and it’s not even the biggest size they offer!!! Can you believe that? I almost cried with joy. I have so much pride and joy for my daughters, I’ll wear this shirt with a sense of pride and an incredible sense of accomplishment. I’ll never forget how I felt the day I couldn’t fit in one---It’s a beautiful day today. And I fit beautifully.

Thank you for reading and following along this most wonderful transformation. If you’re just starting your own journey, please understand that there’s nothing special about me. Really. Honestly---I don’t know everything, I’m not an “expert,” and I certainly don’t pretend or claim to be. I’m just a man that was tired of being morbidly obese my entire life. I was tired of being scared that I would die too young because of my size. I was tired of not fitting---in clothes, in society, and in good health. I wanted to change for so long. I wanted to, but I never was able to really get it right until now. I invite you to go back and read what has brought me to Day 404, and realize---I’m not done yet. I still have work to do. But I hope you fully understand along the way---that you can do this too. You can experience the beautiful freedom that I embrace. As simple as it sounds, if I can do this---you can too. I’ve been where you are. I know what it’s like to be in excess of 500 pounds for nearly two decades. I wish you well my friend.

Four Years Ago:
I woke up today feeling good about it being my 43rd birthday. I tried to go back into the archives to read how I was doing on my 42nd birthday, but I didn't blog a single page the last half of 2013. Honestly, I didn't need to read about it, I remember it well. I woke feeling depressed a year ago. I had gained back a big amount of weight and I was in the middle of the 'I've got to get a handle on this, now' cycle. That cycle was two or three days of doing well followed by two weeks of doing bad--and repeat. 

Waking up today and feeling alive again felt incredible. A year ago, it felt improbable to ever feel like this again. When I looked in the mirror last year, all I could see was someone getting older and looking older--and worst of all, a man who was quickly losing hope for anything better. Honestly, it was mild to moderate depression. 

I looked in the mirror this morning and staring back at me was a man who has a renewed spirit, new hope, dreams and most of all, a new attitude and perspective. My state of mind is one hundred eighty degrees what it was on this day a year ago. My whole world has opened.

Only I know how truly bad it became--because it hit levels I haven't shared with anyone. Suffice to say, this turnaround, in my opinion, is nothing short of a miracle. I am truly blessed.

I don't know what you see when you look at me--or what you think, and seriously--that isn't any of my business anyway, but I assure you--I am living, walking, breathing proof that a turnaround--even coming from the perspective of doom and gloom, is real, possible and within reach.

Two Years Ago:
The weekend was simply perfect. Top it off with the awesome numbers from yesterday's health fair screening--and wow, turning 45 wasn't so bad after all!

I sometimes try to imagine my condition had I not started down this road. Assuming I'd still be alive, I think it would be extremely bad stuff. Anyway--I don't want to think about that too much more. But I did go there this morning after getting in touch with all I have to be thankful for--my gratitude list is long--and it just naturally evolved into, Hmmm...I wonder what life would be like if I never turned this direction?

I'm blessed and very grateful to be right here, right now. And it isn't a given or guaranteed forever, either. Remaining at a healthy body weight isn't the main focus--the weight maintenance is a side-effect of the bigger focus: Taking extraordinary care of myself each day, every day. If I take care each day--and I maintain the integrity of my plan--then the weight maintenance will take care of itself.

This morning:
That was a nice trip down memory lane! I turn 47 today. I have much gratitude for so many blessings along this road. Today, I feel connected with my daily practice--and that connection must renew each morning, that's something I've grown to understand and appreciate. Of all the goals I have--the dreams ahead of me, the most important thing is my continued and improving wellness. When I say "continued and improving wellness," I'm not simply referring to the maintenance of a healthy body-weight. I'm going deeper than that-- it's the whole mind-body-soul type of wellness because that's a maintenance plan that, if given the proper attention, nourishing, and practice, will keep me physically well as a very natural side-effect.

I'm joining my daughters and their significant others, all four of my grandchildren, mom, my wonderful ex-wife Irene and her significant other this evening and part of that get together will be spent celebrating my birthday. Noah is super-excited about it being my birthday. He's five, so birthdays are like the biggest deal ever. Last year he insisted I needed a Spider-Man birthday party! I can't wait to see everyone later this evening.

I'm headed to work for a productive day. The wonderful rush of happy birthday wishes has already started and with each one, I smile. Thank you.

Sincerely, thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean