November 1st, 2020 A Break
I'm still here! I'm alive and kicking. I appreciate the many messages of concern I've received. While I've taken a break from most forms of social media and writing this blog, I haven't taken a break in the daily self-care of my continued recovery.
My food plan is simply one piece of my daily musts--and it doesn't take a break, ever. At least I pray I never again justify "a break" from that! If ever I do, just know: It's the addiction talking. Even in my absence from most social media and this blog, my daily food plan accountability postings on Instagram continue without interruption.
My connections with support friends in the same lifeboat have actually increased in the last month and a half. Most importantly, my daily connections with the God of my understanding, have increased as well.
Could specific elements of my daily practice be better? Always. I don't exercise enough. I find things to hyper-procrastinate over. My sleep patterns aren't good most of the time, either--and that right there is a big big big one. This daily practice has never been perfect. It's consistently imperfect. I believe maintaining the consistency of the core non-negotiable elements will help me evolve the other things in positive and supportive ways.
One thing that's very important for me is to keep my ego and pride in check. In the course of my regular therapy sessions and also through watching, listening to, and learning from others along this road, I've gained a better understanding of healthy ego and pride vs. unhealthy ego and pride. Taking an extended break from most social media, this blog, and my podcast has provided an opportunity for me to really connect in deeper ways with my purest motivations and purpose.
This isn't the "Sean Show." I don't have all the answers. I'm not a guru. I don't know it all. I'm just doing the things to help me make it another day. I don't live in fear of not making it another day, I simply do my best to live daily with a very healthy respect and reverence for whatever it takes for me to remain well.
It's real life. It's recovery. It's one day at a time. It's humbling. It's full of things worthy of my gratitude, daily. It's full of challenges. It's full of loved ones. It's full of people who get me. It's full of mental, emotional, and spiritual practices. It's full of imperfections.
As I pick this blog and other things back up-the intent is to use these tools for accountability and support--the original purpose when I started this thing in 2008!
A lot has happened in the last month and a half. I've set a time limit for me to wrap up this post-- so I'll include some photos and captions as quickly as possible:
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| Courtney and I recently spent a day together. I'm so proud of her! |
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| I recently had a great birthday weekend visit with this little one! |
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| More photos from our recent visit! |
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| Mom and I recently had a very cold outdoor visit. They've since stopped the visits because of an uptick in positive Covid-19 cases. |
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| Six feet apart-grateful for what we can do right now even if it means no hugging. That's the hardest part. |
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| Noah and I have enjoyed some playtime with the visual effects on messenger! |
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| Halloween! I spent a little bit of time with three of my grandkids and my youngest. I was the "friendly zombie." |
Consistently imperfect love that phrase it means we never give up!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back! I am consistently imperfect. One day it will all come together. So very sorry to hear about your mom. I will send prayers and positive thoughts for a quick healing . Nothing worse then watching your parent sick and not understand. May God place his hands on her and give her some much needed peace. Take care.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to have you check in! I see that you're still recording on MFP so I know you're ok. I'm learning to plan my "imperfections." I don't break my Two Rules (no sugar, no wheat) but sometimes, especially this week, a little - just a little - relaxing on the "eat healthy" part. It means more attention to all the other parts - it's just an alternative balancing. Positive thoughts out for your Mom - and for you.
ReplyDeleteYou inspired me to post on IG and it's helped me to lose 40# since May 5
ReplyDeleteThank you for your honesty, clarity, and being real!
It must be time for another book
ReplyDeleteI have great sympathy for you and your mother, separated for so many days during her daily living and bouts with illness. Both of my parents, after their respective conditions became too much for my brothers and sisters with the help of caregivers to handle at home, lived the last few months of their lives in nursing homes. Their care was fine but we augmented it (there are 10 of us!) with daily visits from one or the other of us. To not have been able to see them for months is unfathomable to me. To not see them when they were suffering a crisis would have been cruel to them and us. I so feel for your mother and you especially as you're shouldering it by yourself. Take care. Eileen
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your life and family with all of us. Glad to hear most things are going well. Prayers for your Mom.
ReplyDeletePrayers for your mom, I'm sorry you can't visit with her, again. Humility is a beautiful thing, God gives grace to the humble. It's a daily battle, to make good choices, and we are all just one step away from a fall. Thank you for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteHey Sean...where are you?
ReplyDelete