Thursday, September 8, 2016

September 8th, 2016 Fight Or Flight

September 8th, 2016 Fight Or Flight

The panic attacks have continued. It was difficult to sleep--and by the time I did drift, it was too late and I ended up over-sleeping. I made it to work for a super long day. I didn't get home until 7pm. But--it's better, some. It was much better earlier--and now, as if something has short-circuited, they return. 

Once again, I'm canceling my scheduled workout. I'm opting to drop in bed, say a few extra prayers--perhaps meditate and do some breathing exercises and hope this subsides soon. I know there's stress and emotional circumstances in my life--and right now, a little more than usual, but this seemingly involuntary-uncontrollable response feels irrational. It's like my primal fight or flight mechanism has lost its ever-lovin' mind.

Despite this stuck anxiety/panic mode, I accomplished a bunch of work today. The idea was to hunker down and get some things done that were potential sources of elevated stress.

I also took extraordinary care with my food plan and support system. I almost picked up take out from my favorite little Mexican restaurant--and normally I would, especially after a day like today. But I decided to pour myself into preparing a good on-plan meal, thinking that night help the anxiety situation. It seemed to help for a little while. Come what may, right? Yes.

I spoke with mom a few times today--and I spoke with her doctor's office a couple of times. She's doing fantastic. I plan on spending more time with her, very soon.

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I stayed connected with great support and I met my daily water goal.

I'd like to do the same tomorrow without the constant feeling of panic.

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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6 comments:

  1. Cathy CallowaySeptember 9, 2016 at 5:15 AM

    My heart reaches to you. When I was in my 20's. I started having panic attacks. I'd get on the trolly to go to work and half-way there I'd have to get off, get one going home because I thought I left the stove on, or some other thing. It progressed to full blown Agoraphobia. I couldn't leave my room...it was a nightmare. I finally went to a psychiatrist and after a lot of therapy got myself together. I don't think you ever know what exactly causes these things. I had recently gotten married and I think the extreme life change triggered it. In my late 30's the panic attacks came back. Again, big life changes, we'd moved from the city to a rural area, I had a baby that died, and had given up a job I loved to be a stay at home mom...The thing I found helped the most was closing my eyes, laying back, doing relaxation techniques and maybe taking a mental vacation. It helped knowing what was going on this time. I hope things get better for you. I always feared things getting like they were the first time. I will keep you in my prayers.

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  2. UnknownSeptember 9, 2016 at 5:29 AM

    I have been reading your blog for years and I was so happy for you when you started writing it again after your period of regain. You are doing so well! I think the stress of your sweet mom's illness has caused your panic attacks. It's fear of being unable to control things. But you are doing everything right by maintaining your support systems. I wish you the best and am praying for you and your mom.

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  3. dupsterSeptember 9, 2016 at 8:36 AM

    Hang in there Sean, this too, shall pass. With your help the past few months, today I hit my goal weight again, losing a 53-lb. regain. It was reading your inspirational blogs every day that helped me keep my Focus, and lose the weight AGAIN. I hope it helps YOU to know how much you HELP all of us. Thanks Sean and Be Well!!

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  4. UnknownSeptember 9, 2016 at 8:37 AM

    Sean, when I feel panic like that, I talk to someone. You know you can always call me.

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  5. JMTSeptember 9, 2016 at 9:12 AM

    Sending prayers...hope it passes soon

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  6. ChrisSeptember 9, 2016 at 10:06 AM

    Sean...If there is one thing I know..it isn't circumstances, but how we perceive them and what they mean to us that causes us anxiety. Your mom has been your closest friend and confidant your entire life. You may feel like you can't do it without her. As a mother myself....I know that someday I will die. And my whole life has been spent making sure my daughters will be able to go on without me. I know they can. You can. I'm sorry your mom is sick. I'm sorry you are frightened. It's normal to feel that way when there is nothing we can do to help someone but be there. Especially when we would take the pain if we could. This might have been your response in extreme anxiety in times past, but you medicated with food and now you don't. Now you feel it. Which really, is better. Im sorry I'm blunt and not good with words all the time. I believe in you. hugs bud.
    Chris oursler

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