Day 180
Gaining Strength and Joy From The Success of Others
My Friday turned out pretty good. One thing I really need to work on is time management! Proper rest is vital to good health, and I've been burning the candle at both ends lately. Not good. I plan on getting to bed earlier than normal tonight and sleeping as long as my body needs. I can't remember the last time I slept until I couldn't sleep anymore. Oh, wait...uh, a few weeks ago, ok, it's been a few weeks, but still. My pattern lately has been like a cell phone you charge for five minutes a few times a day, it keeps just enough juice to keep it working, but it's always ready and wanting to be fully re-charged. I'm determined to get a full charge tonight.
You know what feels better than my own success at losing weight and understanding the mental process? Seeing my family and friends have success. Courtney put on a pair of pants this morning to wear to school that she hasn't been able to wear since 7th grade. She's in 10th now! The smile on her face was worth everything to me. The joy and pure elation that comes from victories like these is far greater than any temporary pleasure found in over-eating and being inactive. I ran into a woman at the YMCA tonight that is in the “Lose To Win Challenge,” She's already down 5 pounds and counting. The people I met last night at the seminar who tell me of their success so far, it just thrills me. That's what it's all about. Getting those results and feeling better than ever is a tremendous thing. I stopped by and visited my father in law for a few minutes. He's doing this too. Now understand, he's an old road dog. A truck driver for years and years. He's dined at every greasy truck stop from coast to coast, where the last thing on most of the diners minds is “how many calories in that chicken fry with cream gravy?” I just stopped by to see how he was doing and offer some encouragement. He's proudly doing great! He even pulled out his food logs. He's a real stickler on keeping track of everything he puts in his mouth. I was so proud of him. He's going to do this, he's gonna make it! After not keeping food logs for so long, I started keeping one on-line recently so a few people could monitor what exactly I'm eating everyday. Before, I would just keep a running total in my head everyday, it wasn't too difficult and it cuts down on paperwork. But you have to do what feels right for you. If you feel more comfortable writing everything down, do it! I'm not a fan of the time it takes me to log everything at Fitday.com, but the statistics are kind of interesting. The success, mine and others, is the show my friend. Is the show worth the price of admission? Every single cent!
Remember the belt I've written about recently? I had to use the fifth and final notch tonight at the Y. I've gone through that belt from barely being able to use the first notch, to using the last, in a matter of one month! Soon I'll need a new belt, it'll be the third belt I've worked through on this journey.
It's so very important to keep things simple. So many times we try to make things difficult, we get intimidated, then we fail. If you've gone back and read from the beginning of this blog, you know I'm all about keeping it simple. Simple works. Counting calories, exercising, and mental exercises. That's my three tiered approach that has totally transformed the way I look at food. The most important being the mental exercises. Melissa Walden, fitness and life coach, talked on Tuesday about how you are what you think you are. And it's true. You can also do what you decide you can do. You can't do what you've decided you can't do. If you've decided you can, then strap in and get ready for a life changing journey! I sometimes think, if I would have known getting my head on straight and doing this could be so fulfilling, I would have done it years ago. Why didn't I? I guess I had convinced myself that it would be really tough. I also allowed any and all excuses and daily stress to derail me with the slightest of nudges. One of the biggest challenges I've overcome so far has been dealing with stress without running to food. It was a self-imposed tough love challenge, I'll tell ya. When I'm stressed, I always turned to food to make me feel good. Now I turn to my motivating thoughts. I turn to exercise. I turn my attention to positive things. If I'm feeling exceptionally weak, I just go and read some of the hundreds of comments that have been left on this blog over the course of the last 180 days. I find strength in your support. I find strength in my motivating thoughts. I know that giving in and turning to over-eating during stressful times and situations is not only counter-productive, it's compounding the problem. Two negatives don't make a positive. They just make an even bigger negative. But a negative countered with a positive, reduces the negative. If I'm stressed and I feel a hint of old desires and feelings, I crush them with a flood of motivating thoughts. Stress doesn't have a chance against my motivating thoughts, I guarantee that!
I'm looking forward to a nice weekend. I plan on taking Amber to the YMCA with me tomorrow afternoon for a nice workout. I plan on catching up on replying to comments and messages posted and sent by readers of this blog. So if you've commented or sent me a private message or e-mail recently, then you'll be hearing from me this weekend! I also plan on posting tomorrow's blog by 6:30pm central daylight savings time. Because I have plans Saturday night! One of the perks of being in radio is occasionally having complimentary access to concerts and events, I usually don't, but tomorrow night I plan on taking advantage of that perk. I think 6:30 would be some kind of blog posting time record for me!
I can't stress enough the importance of writing about what you're feeling and doing. You don't have to make it public like this, but I highly recommend making it available to at least your immediate family. Communication leads to understanding. And a much better understanding of me is one of the many things this blog has accomplished. I sincerely thank you for reading. If you're new to the blog, I highly recommend going back and reading from day 1. If you've “subscribed” to the myspace version, I believe you have access to every single day. If you read the blogspot identical version, then every single day is archived on the left hand side of the screen with a handy little drop down index. Reading from the beginning gives you the complete perspective of this journey so far. If this is your day 12, then read my day 12. Again, thank you for your support! Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Friday, March 13, 2009
Day 179 Sharing A Message of Hope and Freedom and The Real Me is The New Me
Day 179
Sharing A Message of Hope and Freedom and The Real Me is The New Me
Tonight was a good night. I had a great time at the “Lose To Win” seminar. I always hope I communicated well. I think I did. Still, there's always something I wish I would have said. I guess I'll talk about that stuff next time. What a wonderful reward to talk to people about this amazing journey. I could feel a nice connection with the audience. As the weight comes off, and the difference becomes so much more dramatic, I wonder what it'll be like. I look forward to speaking to people about losing weight the rest of my life, I want to share my journey with as many people “like me” as possible. Because there's a way out of obesity, and I thought I would never find it, but I have found it, and it's something I'm so passionate about, I can't help talking and sharing.
I feel like nothing is impossible. This over-joyed feeling is such a far cry from the desperate hopeless emotions of 505 pounds. I hope that you can see my sincerity in these words. After being overweight my entire life and never losing the weight permanently, I felt like I was destined to be fat forever, however short that forever may have been. I can see the possibilities now, I can feel the hope for the first time in a long time. I always was good at putting on a happy face no matter my weight. Someone said to me tonight that they'll miss that 505 pound guy they first met a year or so ago. But understand, that 505 pound guy was hurting very badly inside. That 505 pound guy was all smiles on the outside and all tears inside. While my values will always remain the same, and I'll always be me, a part of Sean that has never surfaced before is making it's way out. It's the Sean I always kept under wraps, opting instead for a much more insecure version, less confident, and full of self doubt. This new Sean is still the old Sean, just way more outgoing and confident. A much more fun Sean is emerging like a butterfly, But this really isn't anything new...It's me! It's the me I've always been inside, but was too insecure to let out. Finally my personality on the radio will more closely match up with my personality off the air. I've always said that I reveal way more of “the real me” on the radio. I do because you can't see me. The only thing I have to be confident about on the radio is my voice and ability to communicate, and that's never been a problem.
I'm headed to bed tonight full of wonderful feelings. Even though I know that tomorrow brings a mountain of stress in my personal life, I'm confident that I'll survive, and see a brighter future someday. I'll tell you, this new outlook on life is really amazing. All of the stressful triggers that once wreaked havoc on me and my weight loss efforts, all of them are completely powerless. Can they still make me stress, sure, I'm still human. I just react differently than I ever have in the past. I look forward to writing more tomorrow night. Until then, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Sharing A Message of Hope and Freedom and The Real Me is The New Me
Tonight was a good night. I had a great time at the “Lose To Win” seminar. I always hope I communicated well. I think I did. Still, there's always something I wish I would have said. I guess I'll talk about that stuff next time. What a wonderful reward to talk to people about this amazing journey. I could feel a nice connection with the audience. As the weight comes off, and the difference becomes so much more dramatic, I wonder what it'll be like. I look forward to speaking to people about losing weight the rest of my life, I want to share my journey with as many people “like me” as possible. Because there's a way out of obesity, and I thought I would never find it, but I have found it, and it's something I'm so passionate about, I can't help talking and sharing.
I feel like nothing is impossible. This over-joyed feeling is such a far cry from the desperate hopeless emotions of 505 pounds. I hope that you can see my sincerity in these words. After being overweight my entire life and never losing the weight permanently, I felt like I was destined to be fat forever, however short that forever may have been. I can see the possibilities now, I can feel the hope for the first time in a long time. I always was good at putting on a happy face no matter my weight. Someone said to me tonight that they'll miss that 505 pound guy they first met a year or so ago. But understand, that 505 pound guy was hurting very badly inside. That 505 pound guy was all smiles on the outside and all tears inside. While my values will always remain the same, and I'll always be me, a part of Sean that has never surfaced before is making it's way out. It's the Sean I always kept under wraps, opting instead for a much more insecure version, less confident, and full of self doubt. This new Sean is still the old Sean, just way more outgoing and confident. A much more fun Sean is emerging like a butterfly, But this really isn't anything new...It's me! It's the me I've always been inside, but was too insecure to let out. Finally my personality on the radio will more closely match up with my personality off the air. I've always said that I reveal way more of “the real me” on the radio. I do because you can't see me. The only thing I have to be confident about on the radio is my voice and ability to communicate, and that's never been a problem.
I'm headed to bed tonight full of wonderful feelings. Even though I know that tomorrow brings a mountain of stress in my personal life, I'm confident that I'll survive, and see a brighter future someday. I'll tell you, this new outlook on life is really amazing. All of the stressful triggers that once wreaked havoc on me and my weight loss efforts, all of them are completely powerless. Can they still make me stress, sure, I'm still human. I just react differently than I ever have in the past. I look forward to writing more tomorrow night. Until then, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Day 178 Maintaining Class And Dignity and Fighting The Urge To Stop Short
Day 178
Maintaining Class And Dignity and Defeating The Urge To Stop Short
As personal as yesterday's blog was, some might think there's nothing I hold back on these pages. But they'd be wrong. I haven't and will never discuss all the benefits of losing weight. I wouldn't feel comfortable writing and sharing some of the more personal benefits being smaller has allowed. Some of these wonderful 'side effects' need to be discovered personally by each individual on this kind of journey. I will say this, when I said yesterday that my marriage has never been better, I meant in every way, Enough said. There's also the curiosity factor that I don't feel the need to satisfy. In response to an anonymous comment/question left by some yahoo from who knows where in the world: If you're sincerely curious, I understand that, but you need to understand that I maintain a certain level of class and dignity on this blog. It wouldn't be appropriate to reveal “just how does a 500 pound person go to the bathroom?” If you're not that big, then you don't have to worry about it, and if you are, then you've obviously figured it out. What kind of sicko question is that anyway? I'm all about humor, and the benefits of laughter in our daily lives, but I guarantee you will not find it here on a crude level at the expense of my dignity. Come on man, details like that serve zero purpose on this blog. Why am I even talking to this anonymous reader? That reader doesn't deserve the energy it takes to press these keys. I let things people say bother me too much sometimes. It was probably from the same guy who asked if I was “gonna sit there all day and eat those...” remember the inappropriate talker guy at Wal-Mart? Some people suffer from a complete lack of decency and social skills, poor souls. I just realized today that I have the power to delete inappropriate comments, and I did delete this one. I'm proud to say it was the first time I've had to do that.
I'm extremely excited about presenting a full length program tomorrow night at the Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. Even if you're not a “Lose To Win” participant, come on in and have a seat! It's free and it starts at 6:30pm. The Hutchins Auditorium is located at 5th and Overbrook in Ponca City, Oklahoma. If you're reading this within driving distance, come on down, or up, or over, or out here. My “theme” if you will, focuses on “secrets and tricks that are neither secret or tricky, but have helped me stay on track for a solid six months.” I'll also talk about common misconceptions and hang-ups people have about the weight loss process. If you just absolutely can't fly in for it, then I should have the video segments posted in a week or so, maybe sooner. But if you're close enough, it would be awesome to see you in person! Can I count on your attendance?
Our workout at the Y tonight was an awesome one. I spent half the “hard two miles” at 4.0 mph and half at 3.8 mph on the treadmill. I somehow allowed myself to be distracted, perhaps by the TV's, I don't know, more than likely my thoughts. Whatever the reason, I was feeling the urge to stop at 1.5 miles. There was absolutely not one shred of a good enough reason to cut it short. I just wasn't into it for some reason. These feelings and days happen. It's normal I guess. But the worst thing I could've done was stop, and I knew that. So I kept on going. I wasn't going to let outside stress or anxiety of any kind creep into my workout and stop me short of my plan. I usually get so into it that I sometimes forget I'm exercising. You've read about me closing my eyes and lip syncing to my favorite songs. I know how to get into another world on that treadmill, a world where anything is possible, and the familiar stress of the day does not exist. But for some reason I temporarily lost the directions to that place tonight. Oh, I was fine, I made it to my planned destination, but it certainly proves that no matter what level of zone you're in, you can still be influenced by stress and distractions. The particular zone you're in will determine how you handle it. I powered through it, because I demand it of me, I have to. Because if I give in even a little, then in no time the gravitational pull from the line of least resistance will claim me. We've talked about that line before, it's nowhere you want to be on a journey like this my friend.
Sometimes replacing time consuming counter-productive habits with good, positive, and productive habits just happens naturally along this journey. I use to play in micro-stakes online poker tournaments all the time. I once spent ten cents to enter a tournament where I played Texas Hold-em for nearly six hours, finally placing high enough to win a whopping dollar forty-seven. I use to play upwards of 15 to 20 online tournaments a week. And TV? Please, I spent hours and hours watching everything and anything that could grab my attention. I haven't played an online poker tournament for months and I watch on average maybe 15 minutes of TV a day, if that, usually from bed right before I go to sleep for the night. And guess what? I don't even miss it. I really don't. This journey is way more entertaining and stimulating than any card game or TV show. I missed the Oscars this year! The Oscars!!! If you know the Anderson family even a tiny bit, you know the Oscars are normally treated like the Super Bowl. We have a party with snacks and ballots. We compete for our own “trophy” and title, and have for years since I was a little kid. This year had to be the first time I ever remember missing an Oscar telecast. I did find the highlights on YouTube. That was good enough for me. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Maintaining Class And Dignity and Defeating The Urge To Stop Short
As personal as yesterday's blog was, some might think there's nothing I hold back on these pages. But they'd be wrong. I haven't and will never discuss all the benefits of losing weight. I wouldn't feel comfortable writing and sharing some of the more personal benefits being smaller has allowed. Some of these wonderful 'side effects' need to be discovered personally by each individual on this kind of journey. I will say this, when I said yesterday that my marriage has never been better, I meant in every way, Enough said. There's also the curiosity factor that I don't feel the need to satisfy. In response to an anonymous comment/question left by some yahoo from who knows where in the world: If you're sincerely curious, I understand that, but you need to understand that I maintain a certain level of class and dignity on this blog. It wouldn't be appropriate to reveal “just how does a 500 pound person go to the bathroom?” If you're not that big, then you don't have to worry about it, and if you are, then you've obviously figured it out. What kind of sicko question is that anyway? I'm all about humor, and the benefits of laughter in our daily lives, but I guarantee you will not find it here on a crude level at the expense of my dignity. Come on man, details like that serve zero purpose on this blog. Why am I even talking to this anonymous reader? That reader doesn't deserve the energy it takes to press these keys. I let things people say bother me too much sometimes. It was probably from the same guy who asked if I was “gonna sit there all day and eat those...” remember the inappropriate talker guy at Wal-Mart? Some people suffer from a complete lack of decency and social skills, poor souls. I just realized today that I have the power to delete inappropriate comments, and I did delete this one. I'm proud to say it was the first time I've had to do that.
I'm extremely excited about presenting a full length program tomorrow night at the Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. Even if you're not a “Lose To Win” participant, come on in and have a seat! It's free and it starts at 6:30pm. The Hutchins Auditorium is located at 5th and Overbrook in Ponca City, Oklahoma. If you're reading this within driving distance, come on down, or up, or over, or out here. My “theme” if you will, focuses on “secrets and tricks that are neither secret or tricky, but have helped me stay on track for a solid six months.” I'll also talk about common misconceptions and hang-ups people have about the weight loss process. If you just absolutely can't fly in for it, then I should have the video segments posted in a week or so, maybe sooner. But if you're close enough, it would be awesome to see you in person! Can I count on your attendance?
Our workout at the Y tonight was an awesome one. I spent half the “hard two miles” at 4.0 mph and half at 3.8 mph on the treadmill. I somehow allowed myself to be distracted, perhaps by the TV's, I don't know, more than likely my thoughts. Whatever the reason, I was feeling the urge to stop at 1.5 miles. There was absolutely not one shred of a good enough reason to cut it short. I just wasn't into it for some reason. These feelings and days happen. It's normal I guess. But the worst thing I could've done was stop, and I knew that. So I kept on going. I wasn't going to let outside stress or anxiety of any kind creep into my workout and stop me short of my plan. I usually get so into it that I sometimes forget I'm exercising. You've read about me closing my eyes and lip syncing to my favorite songs. I know how to get into another world on that treadmill, a world where anything is possible, and the familiar stress of the day does not exist. But for some reason I temporarily lost the directions to that place tonight. Oh, I was fine, I made it to my planned destination, but it certainly proves that no matter what level of zone you're in, you can still be influenced by stress and distractions. The particular zone you're in will determine how you handle it. I powered through it, because I demand it of me, I have to. Because if I give in even a little, then in no time the gravitational pull from the line of least resistance will claim me. We've talked about that line before, it's nowhere you want to be on a journey like this my friend.
Sometimes replacing time consuming counter-productive habits with good, positive, and productive habits just happens naturally along this journey. I use to play in micro-stakes online poker tournaments all the time. I once spent ten cents to enter a tournament where I played Texas Hold-em for nearly six hours, finally placing high enough to win a whopping dollar forty-seven. I use to play upwards of 15 to 20 online tournaments a week. And TV? Please, I spent hours and hours watching everything and anything that could grab my attention. I haven't played an online poker tournament for months and I watch on average maybe 15 minutes of TV a day, if that, usually from bed right before I go to sleep for the night. And guess what? I don't even miss it. I really don't. This journey is way more entertaining and stimulating than any card game or TV show. I missed the Oscars this year! The Oscars!!! If you know the Anderson family even a tiny bit, you know the Oscars are normally treated like the Super Bowl. We have a party with snacks and ballots. We compete for our own “trophy” and title, and have for years since I was a little kid. This year had to be the first time I ever remember missing an Oscar telecast. I did find the highlights on YouTube. That was good enough for me. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Day 177 Treadmill Tragedy Avoided and What Scared Me The Most
Day 177
Treadmill Tragedy Avoided and What Scared Me The Most
I made the mistake this evening of not wearing a belt to the YMCA for my treadmill workout. I spent the entire time pulling up my size 50's. They're just too big I tell ya! What a wonderful feeling to write those words about a size twelve sizes smaller than I had to wear 177 days ago. Every time I would pull 'em up, I'd feel like I was almost falling. My choice was simple: Risk falling by pulling up my pants or having my pants drop to my ankles in front of everyone. I think I would rather fall, because if I lost my pants they could get caught up in the belt moving at 4 mph. I could just see me laying on the floor in my underwear stuck to the machine because my pants have been sucked into the treadmill. I better make sure I wear a belt from now on. Oh the joys of losing weight!
It's amazing to me how hard it was to lose weight for all of those years. I knew, even at my largest, that losing weight would make me feel better than ever, but sometimes that's just not enough to get it going. Having a doctor tell me that I could die anytime and it wouldn't surprise her, still wasn't enough. If death isn't motivation enough to get busy, than what could possibly motivate me? It sounds crazy to say that I feared losing my family more than I feared death. But here's why: In my mind, dying was something tragic that happens to other people. Even though I believed the doctor when she said at over 500 pounds, it could easily happen to me too, I somehow was motivated more by the fear of my family falling apart. The mind is a complicated thing isn't it? That's why it was so important for me to not only change my eating habits and activity, but I had to change my mind about food and exercise. I had to stop making excuses and thinking that I had all the time in the world to right the ship. I had to realize that at the rate I was going, I would have been making excuses and rationalizing bad choices right up until my dying day, all the while convinced I had time to get it right. The dangerously deceptive and optimistic thought of “I have plenty of time,” is exactly the thought that would allow me to remain out of control with food and lack of movement for all these years. My entire life I've been a procrastinator. Irene has recognized this for years. About my weight, she would ask me “you're going to wait until it's too late aren't you?” How could I have blamed her for not wanting to stick around to witness the very sad and tragic pattern that was slowly killing me? She loves me too much to stand by and witness my slow and tragic suicide by gluttony, oh how she felt completely powerless to stop the inevitable outcome. I wish I could remember the exact words we shared on the night of September 13th, 2008. I thought we were happy and loving life until that night, or at least that's what I convinced myself we were doing. But there we were, in the guest room of my oldest daughters boyfriends parents house, just miles from Amber's college campus, having a conversation more powerful than all of the “death speeches” ever given me by doctors. My lovely wife, my high school sweetheart of nearly twenty years had reached her limit. She was reluctantly done. I say “reluctantly” because even at that moment, I knew she loved me deep. She loved me enough to leave me, in hopes that it would spark a life saving change in me. That's serious love my friend. I remember thinking, “why here and now?” “What if they can hear us talking?” “Aren't we suppose to pretend to be perfect in front of other people?” “What are you doing Irene?” It was like she had zero control. She had reached her limit, and like a car out of fuel, she couldn't go another mile down this tragic dead end with me. My out of control obesity was like a senseless killing taking place right before her eyes, and she wanted no part of it. That was it. So I started pleading and begging for one more chance to get it right. I remember trying to make her feel guilty by saying “So we have one off to college, but you don't want to stick it out and get the other one raised?” Then I stopped and realized that I was wrong. She wasn't crying mad/selfish tears, those were hurt/lovingly painful tears. At that very moment I had to accept 100% responsibility for the cliff my obesity had us hanging from. I must have given the best “I'll really do it this time” speech of my life, because it worked. The tears I cried while trying to talk her into giving me a 297th chance, were stinging far worse than any I cried on June 10th in the doctors office of doom and gloom. I meant every single word. I didn't know how I would do it, but I knew that I had to do it differently than any other attempt. I had to do it right. I had to truly make a lifestyle change that would last a lifetime, not just a temporary change with temporary results. The decision I made that night was iron clad. And I knew that I couldn't let any excuse or rationalization get in the way...the risk was just too great.
I'm overjoyed to tell you that my marriage has never been better than it is right now. Sometimes we look at each other like we did in the hallways of Stillwater High School. I have more love and respect for her than I ever have, and her love and devotion to me has never been so clear in all our days. So as my weight goes down and I experience all the joy that positive results bring, just know that I'm feeling it on two very different levels. If I could bottle the positive feelings that losing weight and getting my life back brings me, it would be more popular than Coke-a-Cola. Watching Irene, Amber, and Courtney come along, enjoying their own weight loss success right along side me, I can't help but beam with pride. We're all authors of our own life story. We have the power to make it as great or as gloomy as our actions and choices determine. We just have to decide what kind of story we truly desire, then make the changes necessary to achieve the desired outcome. And never, never, never give up the pursuit of happiness.
I'm severely behind in replying to messages and comments about this blog. I sincerely thank you for reading and taking the time to respond with private messages and public comments. You never know what you'll find here. Some post are completely humorous, some are really deep, and some are a mixture of both. I'm excited about the road ahead and what continued success will bring. When someone tells me that my journey has inspired them, well, that's just icing on the cake! Yes, I said cake! And not Angel Food cake, I'm talking cake with icing on top and all around and in the middle, no, no, no, let's put ice cream in the middle of this cake! That's it! An ice cream cake, yeah, there we go, nice little cake...Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Treadmill Tragedy Avoided and What Scared Me The Most
I made the mistake this evening of not wearing a belt to the YMCA for my treadmill workout. I spent the entire time pulling up my size 50's. They're just too big I tell ya! What a wonderful feeling to write those words about a size twelve sizes smaller than I had to wear 177 days ago. Every time I would pull 'em up, I'd feel like I was almost falling. My choice was simple: Risk falling by pulling up my pants or having my pants drop to my ankles in front of everyone. I think I would rather fall, because if I lost my pants they could get caught up in the belt moving at 4 mph. I could just see me laying on the floor in my underwear stuck to the machine because my pants have been sucked into the treadmill. I better make sure I wear a belt from now on. Oh the joys of losing weight!
It's amazing to me how hard it was to lose weight for all of those years. I knew, even at my largest, that losing weight would make me feel better than ever, but sometimes that's just not enough to get it going. Having a doctor tell me that I could die anytime and it wouldn't surprise her, still wasn't enough. If death isn't motivation enough to get busy, than what could possibly motivate me? It sounds crazy to say that I feared losing my family more than I feared death. But here's why: In my mind, dying was something tragic that happens to other people. Even though I believed the doctor when she said at over 500 pounds, it could easily happen to me too, I somehow was motivated more by the fear of my family falling apart. The mind is a complicated thing isn't it? That's why it was so important for me to not only change my eating habits and activity, but I had to change my mind about food and exercise. I had to stop making excuses and thinking that I had all the time in the world to right the ship. I had to realize that at the rate I was going, I would have been making excuses and rationalizing bad choices right up until my dying day, all the while convinced I had time to get it right. The dangerously deceptive and optimistic thought of “I have plenty of time,” is exactly the thought that would allow me to remain out of control with food and lack of movement for all these years. My entire life I've been a procrastinator. Irene has recognized this for years. About my weight, she would ask me “you're going to wait until it's too late aren't you?” How could I have blamed her for not wanting to stick around to witness the very sad and tragic pattern that was slowly killing me? She loves me too much to stand by and witness my slow and tragic suicide by gluttony, oh how she felt completely powerless to stop the inevitable outcome. I wish I could remember the exact words we shared on the night of September 13th, 2008. I thought we were happy and loving life until that night, or at least that's what I convinced myself we were doing. But there we were, in the guest room of my oldest daughters boyfriends parents house, just miles from Amber's college campus, having a conversation more powerful than all of the “death speeches” ever given me by doctors. My lovely wife, my high school sweetheart of nearly twenty years had reached her limit. She was reluctantly done. I say “reluctantly” because even at that moment, I knew she loved me deep. She loved me enough to leave me, in hopes that it would spark a life saving change in me. That's serious love my friend. I remember thinking, “why here and now?” “What if they can hear us talking?” “Aren't we suppose to pretend to be perfect in front of other people?” “What are you doing Irene?” It was like she had zero control. She had reached her limit, and like a car out of fuel, she couldn't go another mile down this tragic dead end with me. My out of control obesity was like a senseless killing taking place right before her eyes, and she wanted no part of it. That was it. So I started pleading and begging for one more chance to get it right. I remember trying to make her feel guilty by saying “So we have one off to college, but you don't want to stick it out and get the other one raised?” Then I stopped and realized that I was wrong. She wasn't crying mad/selfish tears, those were hurt/lovingly painful tears. At that very moment I had to accept 100% responsibility for the cliff my obesity had us hanging from. I must have given the best “I'll really do it this time” speech of my life, because it worked. The tears I cried while trying to talk her into giving me a 297th chance, were stinging far worse than any I cried on June 10th in the doctors office of doom and gloom. I meant every single word. I didn't know how I would do it, but I knew that I had to do it differently than any other attempt. I had to do it right. I had to truly make a lifestyle change that would last a lifetime, not just a temporary change with temporary results. The decision I made that night was iron clad. And I knew that I couldn't let any excuse or rationalization get in the way...the risk was just too great.
I'm overjoyed to tell you that my marriage has never been better than it is right now. Sometimes we look at each other like we did in the hallways of Stillwater High School. I have more love and respect for her than I ever have, and her love and devotion to me has never been so clear in all our days. So as my weight goes down and I experience all the joy that positive results bring, just know that I'm feeling it on two very different levels. If I could bottle the positive feelings that losing weight and getting my life back brings me, it would be more popular than Coke-a-Cola. Watching Irene, Amber, and Courtney come along, enjoying their own weight loss success right along side me, I can't help but beam with pride. We're all authors of our own life story. We have the power to make it as great or as gloomy as our actions and choices determine. We just have to decide what kind of story we truly desire, then make the changes necessary to achieve the desired outcome. And never, never, never give up the pursuit of happiness.
I'm severely behind in replying to messages and comments about this blog. I sincerely thank you for reading and taking the time to respond with private messages and public comments. You never know what you'll find here. Some post are completely humorous, some are really deep, and some are a mixture of both. I'm excited about the road ahead and what continued success will bring. When someone tells me that my journey has inspired them, well, that's just icing on the cake! Yes, I said cake! And not Angel Food cake, I'm talking cake with icing on top and all around and in the middle, no, no, no, let's put ice cream in the middle of this cake! That's it! An ice cream cake, yeah, there we go, nice little cake...Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Monday, March 9, 2009
Day 176 Write It Out and The Calorie Bank and Trust
Day 176
Write It Out and The Calorie Bank and Trust
Thank you for all the wonderful messages I received today in regard to last night's blog and bonus video blog. I take pride in this blog and I hope it shows. Writing this blog every night has been key in my continuing education of me about me. Make sense? That's why I highly recommend writing everyday while you're on a similar journey. It doesn't have to be as elaborate as this blog, you don't have to make it a daily five paragraph essay. I just enjoy writing and communicating my thoughts in this way. You could simply write down a short paragraph in a journal every night. Share it with your family or friends, or keep it private. The number one rule of your journal/diary/blog, whatever you want to call it, should be 100% complete honesty with yourself. If you find yourself writing fiction, it's not going to do you any good. If you feel weak, write about it. If you feel strong, write about it. If you battled a very tough craving that you knew would exceed your calorie budget, write about it. If you cheat, write about it. If you slack on your workout, write about it. Honesty is key. Dig deep, write about how you're feeling each day. Your thoughts and emotions play a super big role in your success or failure. Writing about them can help you dissect those thoughts and emotions for a better understanding of why they make you do the things you do. If you're a macho man and you think this writing exercise is “girly,” get over it and get in touch with your behaviors and emotions, because they will make or break you no matter how big, tough, and macho you might be. I've said from early on, the mental workouts are as important and really, more important than the physical workouts. But what is a mental workout or exercise? It's time you make for you to think. Sometimes, you don't even have to “make” the time, just do it while driving, or before bed, or while you walk. It's imperative that you squeeze in some time for you and your thoughts to get to know each other better. I speak from experience. You know good and well I'm not a doctor of any kind, and I haven't been formally educated in psychology, all I have is what I've experienced, what I do, and what I've naturally discovered along this journey. Make this mission the most important thing you've ever done in life. If you only have 20 pounds to lose, maybe you think that's being a little over-dramatic, it's not. It doesn't matter if it's 20 or 200 pounds, if you want to break free from it, you have to make it a top priority at all times. Not practicing this is what leads to rationalizing bad choices. “It's just one quad stacker with extra cheese and six bacon strips, it's not that big of a deal,” yes it is! Top priority at all times! Ask yourself what you really want out of life, and be honest. Sometimes people get so overwhelmed with the mere thought of losing weight and what they think it will require, that they get rebellious at the thought. A friend of ours recently proclaimed “I like being a fat girl, and I'm going to keep right on being a fat girl!” I don't believe for one second that she really means that. She's endured the emotional pain of being fat her entire life, deep down, if she's being completely honest, she knows that statement is nonsense. Don't ever interpret “you've got to love yourself,” as “you've got to love yourself as you are.” Love yourself enough to get down to your ideal weight and be the healthiest you can be. That's where I'm headed. Be honest enough with yourself to identify excuses and rationalizations, then stop them from derailing your efforts. I've learned that I can be my best friend or worst enemy, being honest about my thoughts and motives is the only way to tell the difference.
I use my calories each day like they're cash money. I'm handed 1,500 calories to spend how ever I want each day. If I want them to last throughout the entire day, then I have to budget them accordingly. If I want to blow them all by 1pm, then I have to live broke the rest of the day, because the Calorie Bank and Trust will be closed until the next morning. I'll eat whatever I want, I will and do, but using this approach forces me to make better “calorie value” choices. This cautious budgeting is what causes me to say “no butter” and “easy on the sauce, please” and “Mustard instead of mayo” or “Miracle Whip instead of real mayo.” This “calories like cash” method is why I say “hold the honey mustard” on that grilled chicken wrap. On the other hand, it allows me the freedom to say... “sure, I'll take a serving of sour cream on my potato.” Good choices are what it's all about. Some people ask me “How do you know the calories in everything?” I don't! I have to read the labels and if I don't have a label to read, say at a restaurant, I ask for a nutrition guide. If a nutrition guide isn't available I Google it. Just type in the food followed by the word calories on the Google home page and you'll find it, it's never failed me yet. Sometimes, if I'm not around a computer and I don't have any way of determining an accurate calorie count before consumption, I'll make the best educated guess possible. These educated guesses are based on my calorie counting experiences of like items or like ingredients. For example, remember me mentioning that I was completely in the dark about the calories in the stuffed mushrooms at Olive Garden? I made an educated guess of 60 calories for each little mushroom. I honestly thought if anything, I'd be over estimating with 60. Turns out that I was too low. Each one, on average, checks in at 68 calories according to a calorie counting website I found by Google searching those tasty little things. But I was close! If you're not comfortable enough with computers to Google search foods, then buy a calorie counting book, a big thick comprehensive one, not the little super market checkout booklets, those may not have everything.
Aside from the important mental exercises that are crucial to changing bad behavior patterns, one of the most important things I can say to someone starting on this road to a healthier life is this: Eat! Don't ever look at food as the enemy. Food is our friend. Our bodies need nutrition to properly function. It kills me when someone tells me they're losing weight because “I just don't eat.” How long can you “just not eat?” You have to be big enough to admit that food hasn't been the problem in your obesity struggles, you have been the problem. Food is our friend. I knew that if I really wanted long term success I had to start having a healthy friendship with food. Some skeptics, the cynics might say... “how many more pounds you have to lose Sean?” “that's what I thought, yeah, listen---why don't you lose it all, then call me in five years and tell me where you are.” OK. I'll do that. That's cool. I'm simply saying, that if we change our minds and we embrace a healthy understanding and relationship with food, not just go through the motions needed to lose, I'm talking really change our way of thinking about nutrition and exercise...then how can we go wrong? We can't.
Today was another successful day. Thank you for reading the daily transcripts of my personal therapy. I hope you find it useful on your road. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Write It Out and The Calorie Bank and Trust
Thank you for all the wonderful messages I received today in regard to last night's blog and bonus video blog. I take pride in this blog and I hope it shows. Writing this blog every night has been key in my continuing education of me about me. Make sense? That's why I highly recommend writing everyday while you're on a similar journey. It doesn't have to be as elaborate as this blog, you don't have to make it a daily five paragraph essay. I just enjoy writing and communicating my thoughts in this way. You could simply write down a short paragraph in a journal every night. Share it with your family or friends, or keep it private. The number one rule of your journal/diary/blog, whatever you want to call it, should be 100% complete honesty with yourself. If you find yourself writing fiction, it's not going to do you any good. If you feel weak, write about it. If you feel strong, write about it. If you battled a very tough craving that you knew would exceed your calorie budget, write about it. If you cheat, write about it. If you slack on your workout, write about it. Honesty is key. Dig deep, write about how you're feeling each day. Your thoughts and emotions play a super big role in your success or failure. Writing about them can help you dissect those thoughts and emotions for a better understanding of why they make you do the things you do. If you're a macho man and you think this writing exercise is “girly,” get over it and get in touch with your behaviors and emotions, because they will make or break you no matter how big, tough, and macho you might be. I've said from early on, the mental workouts are as important and really, more important than the physical workouts. But what is a mental workout or exercise? It's time you make for you to think. Sometimes, you don't even have to “make” the time, just do it while driving, or before bed, or while you walk. It's imperative that you squeeze in some time for you and your thoughts to get to know each other better. I speak from experience. You know good and well I'm not a doctor of any kind, and I haven't been formally educated in psychology, all I have is what I've experienced, what I do, and what I've naturally discovered along this journey. Make this mission the most important thing you've ever done in life. If you only have 20 pounds to lose, maybe you think that's being a little over-dramatic, it's not. It doesn't matter if it's 20 or 200 pounds, if you want to break free from it, you have to make it a top priority at all times. Not practicing this is what leads to rationalizing bad choices. “It's just one quad stacker with extra cheese and six bacon strips, it's not that big of a deal,” yes it is! Top priority at all times! Ask yourself what you really want out of life, and be honest. Sometimes people get so overwhelmed with the mere thought of losing weight and what they think it will require, that they get rebellious at the thought. A friend of ours recently proclaimed “I like being a fat girl, and I'm going to keep right on being a fat girl!” I don't believe for one second that she really means that. She's endured the emotional pain of being fat her entire life, deep down, if she's being completely honest, she knows that statement is nonsense. Don't ever interpret “you've got to love yourself,” as “you've got to love yourself as you are.” Love yourself enough to get down to your ideal weight and be the healthiest you can be. That's where I'm headed. Be honest enough with yourself to identify excuses and rationalizations, then stop them from derailing your efforts. I've learned that I can be my best friend or worst enemy, being honest about my thoughts and motives is the only way to tell the difference.
I use my calories each day like they're cash money. I'm handed 1,500 calories to spend how ever I want each day. If I want them to last throughout the entire day, then I have to budget them accordingly. If I want to blow them all by 1pm, then I have to live broke the rest of the day, because the Calorie Bank and Trust will be closed until the next morning. I'll eat whatever I want, I will and do, but using this approach forces me to make better “calorie value” choices. This cautious budgeting is what causes me to say “no butter” and “easy on the sauce, please” and “Mustard instead of mayo” or “Miracle Whip instead of real mayo.” This “calories like cash” method is why I say “hold the honey mustard” on that grilled chicken wrap. On the other hand, it allows me the freedom to say... “sure, I'll take a serving of sour cream on my potato.” Good choices are what it's all about. Some people ask me “How do you know the calories in everything?” I don't! I have to read the labels and if I don't have a label to read, say at a restaurant, I ask for a nutrition guide. If a nutrition guide isn't available I Google it. Just type in the food followed by the word calories on the Google home page and you'll find it, it's never failed me yet. Sometimes, if I'm not around a computer and I don't have any way of determining an accurate calorie count before consumption, I'll make the best educated guess possible. These educated guesses are based on my calorie counting experiences of like items or like ingredients. For example, remember me mentioning that I was completely in the dark about the calories in the stuffed mushrooms at Olive Garden? I made an educated guess of 60 calories for each little mushroom. I honestly thought if anything, I'd be over estimating with 60. Turns out that I was too low. Each one, on average, checks in at 68 calories according to a calorie counting website I found by Google searching those tasty little things. But I was close! If you're not comfortable enough with computers to Google search foods, then buy a calorie counting book, a big thick comprehensive one, not the little super market checkout booklets, those may not have everything.
Aside from the important mental exercises that are crucial to changing bad behavior patterns, one of the most important things I can say to someone starting on this road to a healthier life is this: Eat! Don't ever look at food as the enemy. Food is our friend. Our bodies need nutrition to properly function. It kills me when someone tells me they're losing weight because “I just don't eat.” How long can you “just not eat?” You have to be big enough to admit that food hasn't been the problem in your obesity struggles, you have been the problem. Food is our friend. I knew that if I really wanted long term success I had to start having a healthy friendship with food. Some skeptics, the cynics might say... “how many more pounds you have to lose Sean?” “that's what I thought, yeah, listen---why don't you lose it all, then call me in five years and tell me where you are.” OK. I'll do that. That's cool. I'm simply saying, that if we change our minds and we embrace a healthy understanding and relationship with food, not just go through the motions needed to lose, I'm talking really change our way of thinking about nutrition and exercise...then how can we go wrong? We can't.
Today was another successful day. Thank you for reading the daily transcripts of my personal therapy. I hope you find it useful on your road. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 175 Bonus Video Blog---Our Excellent Adventure
Day 175
Bonus Video Blog—Our Excellent Adventure
This is really what this losing weight and feeling great stuff is all about. It's about living life, laughing, being able to breathe, and enjoying the ones we love to the fullest for as long as we can. Is it worth the effort? Without question, absolutely 100%. Learning how to properly eat and exercise is a small price to pay for real happiness. I can't remember ever having this much fun with my daughter. I spent most of her childhood sleeping and eating and sleeping some more, now we're wide awake and living! You'll find one or two “Sean Tips” in here, but mostly it's just us being silly and having a blast. I hope you enjoy, I know we did.
Good times, good times.
Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Bonus Video Blog—Our Excellent Adventure
This is really what this losing weight and feeling great stuff is all about. It's about living life, laughing, being able to breathe, and enjoying the ones we love to the fullest for as long as we can. Is it worth the effort? Without question, absolutely 100%. Learning how to properly eat and exercise is a small price to pay for real happiness. I can't remember ever having this much fun with my daughter. I spent most of her childhood sleeping and eating and sleeping some more, now we're wide awake and living! You'll find one or two “Sean Tips” in here, but mostly it's just us being silly and having a blast. I hope you enjoy, I know we did.
Good times, good times.
Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 175 Turns Out, I Like Booths and One Life, Two Parts
Day 175
Turns Out, I Like Booths and One Life, Two Parts
I'll never forget 176 days ago. On that cool September morning I was with my daughter in Weatherford looking for a place to have breakfast. We weren't looking for a place with the best food or atmosphere, no, on that day, with me weighing 505 pounds, our main concern was finding a place with “fat friendly” seating. Booths were definitely out of the question and chairs with narrow arms, forget it. I spotted Jerry's, a historic diner with a history dating back to 1966, but Amber quickly informed me “Uh, Dad, they only have booths and fixed seats at the counter.” OK then, Jerry's was out. What about... “uh, no...chairs with arms.” OK, then what about that... “booths again daddy.” How do fat people eat out in Weatherford? We settled on a place that day that was unknown to the both of us. Our plan was simple: Go in, scan the dining room for fat friendly seating, if it was good we'd enjoy a meal, if not, we would turn around and walk out. I really thought we would end up in a drive through lane and eating in the vehicle, but The Mark had chairs without arms, and a breakfast buffet! We had hit the jackpot! Fat friendly seating and a buffet? I remember thinking, “so this is where all the fat people in Weatherford eat.”
Now, fast forward 176 days later, it's day 175 and once again I'm in Weatherford with Amber, and we're looking for a place to eat breakfast at three in the afternoon! We decided on Jerry's without any hesitation whatsoever. We walked in, went straight to a booth and sat down. I had a good three inches or more between me and the table. I not only fit, I had room to spare! It's amazing the difference losing nearly 130 pounds so far has made. We enjoyed breakfast without any seating discomfort, and that's an awesome thing. If you've never had any trouble fitting in seats, it might be hard to relate to the joy I felt today. It was incredibly enjoyable.
After our mid-afternoon breakfast, we decided our fun wasn't about to end just yet. Amber had a couple of free bowling passes they gave her at SWOSU, and by golly we were going to use 'em. We hardly ever went bowling when Amber was little because daddy didn't want to mess with taking off, then putting on, then taking off, then putting on the shoes! At over 500 pounds, just taking off and putting on shoes becomes a workout pure and simple. If an activity requires shoe removal, we just didn't do it. But not today, we were going bowling by golly. I'm a really bad bowler. The kids a couple of lanes down from us couldn't have been more than 6 years old and they were beating me! Of course I wasn't kiddy bowling with bumpers, but maybe I should have been. Amber beat me without trouble 64 to 56. It wasn't pretty, but it sure was fun, and I guess it counted for some exercise, right? The shoes were not even the slightest trouble at all. I didn't even have to ask Amber to tie them. I easily tied them like anyone else. Isn't it amazing how something so little is such a big deal? I love results! And the results we benefited from today made it a wonderful Sunday indeed.
I arrived back in Stillwater by 7:45pm, to meet up with Irene and Courtney at grandmas house for a brief visit with Kelli, my mom, Keith, and grandma. Kelli had found some more old pictures. I've posted one below with my late grandfather. Grandpa never really had a weight problem, he worked too hard his entire life to have one. As a kid he would work in the fields for a dollar a day. He was paid once a week and gave most of that money to his parents so they could help make ends meet, keeping back just enough for a candy bar, a soda pop, and a trip to the local picture show. His work ethic was rock solid his entire life, as was his integrity. I've never known a more honest man than my grandpa. He found joy in the most simple of activities, like eating an apple and watching baseball. He loved baseball. I always wondered if that was his dream as a child, to be a ball player. He could have done it and well I'm sure, but he had to work, and when World War 2 started, he had to defend his country in the Pacific Ocean aboard a battleship. We lost grandpa a while back. He was always very concerned about my weight, and I know that if he were here today, he'd be proud of the progress I've made and where I'm headed. I still can't get over the amazing difference in my appearance so far. My face was so huge back then!
I realized today that my life will forever be divided into two sections. My life before September 15th, 2008 and my life after. Many people have their memories divided like this. Normally it's a result of a tragic accident or major illness. Somehow I knew that after September 15th, my life would never be the same. This transformation period has been an incredible journey and I know it just gets better from here. When the transformation is complete, I hope to spend the rest of my days motivating and inspiring people to change their lives too. One life, two parts, completely opposite each other. It's hard to imagine feeling any better about this. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Grandpa and Me
Turns Out, I Like Booths and One Life, Two Parts
I'll never forget 176 days ago. On that cool September morning I was with my daughter in Weatherford looking for a place to have breakfast. We weren't looking for a place with the best food or atmosphere, no, on that day, with me weighing 505 pounds, our main concern was finding a place with “fat friendly” seating. Booths were definitely out of the question and chairs with narrow arms, forget it. I spotted Jerry's, a historic diner with a history dating back to 1966, but Amber quickly informed me “Uh, Dad, they only have booths and fixed seats at the counter.” OK then, Jerry's was out. What about... “uh, no...chairs with arms.” OK, then what about that... “booths again daddy.” How do fat people eat out in Weatherford? We settled on a place that day that was unknown to the both of us. Our plan was simple: Go in, scan the dining room for fat friendly seating, if it was good we'd enjoy a meal, if not, we would turn around and walk out. I really thought we would end up in a drive through lane and eating in the vehicle, but The Mark had chairs without arms, and a breakfast buffet! We had hit the jackpot! Fat friendly seating and a buffet? I remember thinking, “so this is where all the fat people in Weatherford eat.”
Now, fast forward 176 days later, it's day 175 and once again I'm in Weatherford with Amber, and we're looking for a place to eat breakfast at three in the afternoon! We decided on Jerry's without any hesitation whatsoever. We walked in, went straight to a booth and sat down. I had a good three inches or more between me and the table. I not only fit, I had room to spare! It's amazing the difference losing nearly 130 pounds so far has made. We enjoyed breakfast without any seating discomfort, and that's an awesome thing. If you've never had any trouble fitting in seats, it might be hard to relate to the joy I felt today. It was incredibly enjoyable.
After our mid-afternoon breakfast, we decided our fun wasn't about to end just yet. Amber had a couple of free bowling passes they gave her at SWOSU, and by golly we were going to use 'em. We hardly ever went bowling when Amber was little because daddy didn't want to mess with taking off, then putting on, then taking off, then putting on the shoes! At over 500 pounds, just taking off and putting on shoes becomes a workout pure and simple. If an activity requires shoe removal, we just didn't do it. But not today, we were going bowling by golly. I'm a really bad bowler. The kids a couple of lanes down from us couldn't have been more than 6 years old and they were beating me! Of course I wasn't kiddy bowling with bumpers, but maybe I should have been. Amber beat me without trouble 64 to 56. It wasn't pretty, but it sure was fun, and I guess it counted for some exercise, right? The shoes were not even the slightest trouble at all. I didn't even have to ask Amber to tie them. I easily tied them like anyone else. Isn't it amazing how something so little is such a big deal? I love results! And the results we benefited from today made it a wonderful Sunday indeed.
I arrived back in Stillwater by 7:45pm, to meet up with Irene and Courtney at grandmas house for a brief visit with Kelli, my mom, Keith, and grandma. Kelli had found some more old pictures. I've posted one below with my late grandfather. Grandpa never really had a weight problem, he worked too hard his entire life to have one. As a kid he would work in the fields for a dollar a day. He was paid once a week and gave most of that money to his parents so they could help make ends meet, keeping back just enough for a candy bar, a soda pop, and a trip to the local picture show. His work ethic was rock solid his entire life, as was his integrity. I've never known a more honest man than my grandpa. He found joy in the most simple of activities, like eating an apple and watching baseball. He loved baseball. I always wondered if that was his dream as a child, to be a ball player. He could have done it and well I'm sure, but he had to work, and when World War 2 started, he had to defend his country in the Pacific Ocean aboard a battleship. We lost grandpa a while back. He was always very concerned about my weight, and I know that if he were here today, he'd be proud of the progress I've made and where I'm headed. I still can't get over the amazing difference in my appearance so far. My face was so huge back then!
I realized today that my life will forever be divided into two sections. My life before September 15th, 2008 and my life after. Many people have their memories divided like this. Normally it's a result of a tragic accident or major illness. Somehow I knew that after September 15th, my life would never be the same. This transformation period has been an incredible journey and I know it just gets better from here. When the transformation is complete, I hope to spend the rest of my days motivating and inspiring people to change their lives too. One life, two parts, completely opposite each other. It's hard to imagine feeling any better about this. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Grandpa and Me
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Day 174 Burnin' Fat and Bustin' Caps with Amber
Day 174
Burnin’ Fat and Bustin’ Caps with Amber
What a fantastic Saturday. I traveled to Weatherford/Thomas alone today to spend some quality time with my oldest daughter Amber. We never do that! We didn’t know exactly what we were going to do, but we wanted to do something we’ve never done before, we wanted to have plenty of time to talk, and we wanted to enjoy a nice dinner together. We did all three and then some! One of the important reasons I started this daily blog, was to connect with Amber during her freshman year at SWOSU. I wanted to motivate and inspire her. I wanted to take her under my wing, hold her hand, and walk her out of the dark forest of obesity that I so carelessly led her into as a child. Is it guilt? In its purest form. Her entire life I taught her and showed her examples of how to become fat. A child only knows what they’re taught. And we’re responsible for making sure the influence and instruction, our example, is positive. The eating habits and complete lack of activity has taken it’s toll on all of us. So I feel a tremendous responsibilty to show my family that there is a way to get down to our ideal weight, stay there, and become healthier and happier than we’ve ever been. If you’re reading this blog, and you’re not related to me, consider yourself an honorary family member. Courtney has become my little workout partner and a fine student to everything I’m doing. Not being able to have that day to day contact and influence on Amber can’t be replaced with a few paragraphs on a computer screen. So I really needed this trip today, as much or more than Amber. Amber’s lost over 50 pounds since the beginning of the fall semester and now all of her clothes are loose. She’s doing fantastic, and I couldn’t be more proud. She fully understands that a life of obesity is a short road full of heartache, leading straight to an abrupt dead end, and that’s not what Irene and I, or any parent, would want for their kid. We want her to break free and realize all the positive effects of losing weight, getting in shape, and feeling better than ever. It’s much more than just fitting into a pair of jeans we’ve always wanted to wear. The positive effects of a journey like this touches everything we do. It changes our outlook, it makes possible things we were convinced impossible. And that positive energy spreads like wildfire through that “forest of obesity.” Amber is getting out of there and burnin’ it down my friend.
In our excellent adventure, we wanted to do something we had never done together, or otherwise. We decided that we should realease some aggression and fire a real handgun. First of all, I don’t like guns. Never have, probably never will. I don’t own one, I’ve never wanted one, and I don’t plan on owning one ever. I doubt that will change. And it’s not the guns that make me nervous, it’s the people holding them. Ok, it’s the guns too. My extreme caution tonight at the gun range might have been comical to some, but I wasn’t trying to be. We handled that gun like the entire world depended on it’s safety and containment. Like it was some kind of global threat that we were responsible for keeping in check. After careful instruction on how to load the ten round clip, and some basic safety precautions, we made our way onto the range with the biggest, well, the only gun we’ve ever handled, a powerful and rugged looking .22 pistol with a clip, just like in the movies! As soon as we walked in the range area we were startled by what must have been a cannon firing in bay number 7. That gun had a blast that you felt vibrate in your bones. We jumped like scared little rabbits, then gave each other a look of “should we really be here?” But we had come this far, so we made our way into bay number 12 and loaded up, still jumping everytime Dirty Harry in bay 7 jerked his iron. We must have provided some comic relief to every gun enthusiast on the range. Because they weren’t jumping at all. After fumbling with the bullets, and treating each one like it could “go off” any second like a short-fast fuse on a firecracker, we were fully loaded and ready. Then, we busted some caps! It was amazing! After squeezing off the first clip full, our nerves were gone, and we settled in and enjoyed the experience. After 100 rounds, I’m still not convinced I’ll ever own one, but it was certainly an experience Amber and I will never forget as long as we live. Look for a special “On The Go” bonus video blog on Day 175. It’ll feature videos of our experience tonight.
Before we ever made it to the gun range in Oklahoma City, we worked out on campus in the newly constructed, state of the art wellness center. What an amazing facility. It was a great time, and the perfect start to a fantastic evening.
We decided on dining at The Olive Garden. Amber has watched the commercials her entire life, but had never made a trip. How do we go to that place and still stay within range of our calorie budget? It’s simple really. First of all, the food was secondary to our conversation and overall enjoyment of being together. Before September 15th it would have been a completely different approach. Had we made the trip back then, it would have been all about the unlimited breadsticks and eating the biggest and most incredible amount of pasta ever. We would have talked about how we were going to “destroy” that place with a ferocious appetite all the way to the front doors. But it was different tonight. We decided it was our dining destination, and we could handle it responsibly. The first thing we did was ask for water and a nutrition guide. I wanted to know exactly what we were dealing with here. Turns out, they only have calorie counts for a select few dishes, because the numbers on some of the others would probably be embarrassing to print. My strategy for this place was pretty simple: Very little bread, plenty of water, a pasta dish with a tomato based sauce in a lunch size portion, instead of the grand dinner version, a sauce flavored with spices, not sugars, and some soup. I discovered the Minestrone had only 100 calories for a serving, and the Linguine alla Marinara only contained 310. The stuffed mushrooms were a mystery really, so I only had two of them, and over estimated the calories at 60 each, they were pretty small, 60 sounds right. When I don’t know for sure, I’m really careful. I felt 60 calories was an over estimate, but just in case I was completely off on this one, I only had two very small. Amber even convinced me to try a bite of salad. I’ve never been a salad person. You know me, I’m a meat and potato kind of guy all the way. Someone asked me once… “Sean, how do you ever expect to lose weight if you don’t eat salads?” Uh, well, I think I’ve done a pretty good job at disproving the “must eat salads to lose weight” theory. I’m just a real nutcase when it comes to salad, ask Irene, she’ll tell you all about it. I like tomatoes, I love them individually or on a burger or taco or in a wrap with grilled chicken. I like lettuce, in tacos, on burgers, in wraps, and a variety of other ways. I love onions, I love black olives, and a number of other ingredients you can put in a salad. But for some reason, when you put them all together in a salad, it changes something for me. All of a sudden I don’t like it. Isn’t that strange? I did take a bite, for Amber, but I didn’t want to…and it was good! I’m not doing it all the time, but it was completely doable every once in a while, I think.
After dinner we visited a place I haven’t taken Amber since she was five years old. Celebration Station. We were planning on riding go-carts. But decided against it when we discovered the cost for us would be 13.00 dollars every three minutes. What? People pay this??? Do they use actual racing fuel and have full time pit crews or something? Geminee! We wanted to see if I could fit in one, and someday when we’re feeling like getting totally swindled, we’ll head back with a sack full of cash and ride like children! We did notice something really disturbing. They had “slot” machines that dispensed tickets instead of money. But the concept was the same as real slot machines. They certainly looked real. I was shocked that they would include something like this in an enviroment for children. Maybe the company that owns Celebration Station also owns casinos, and they just want to start the conditioning early. Crazy, if you ask me.
By the time the night was over, we had accomplished all we had set out to do, and we were completely spent. Although the date and time on this entry reflects Saturday, you know that it’s Sunday already and the sun is shining. Only once before in all 174 days have I had to wait until the next day to post my blog. Last night was the second. I couldn’t function properly, I was that tired. No way could I have conveyed anything in the proper way in that condition. I needed rest to write. And I got it, a little more than I wanted, but maybe it was needed. Thank you for reading everyday. If you missed having it available this morning, my apologies, I’m sure you understand. Have a fantastic Sunday, good day and…
Good Choices,
Sean
Burnin’ Fat and Bustin’ Caps with Amber
What a fantastic Saturday. I traveled to Weatherford/Thomas alone today to spend some quality time with my oldest daughter Amber. We never do that! We didn’t know exactly what we were going to do, but we wanted to do something we’ve never done before, we wanted to have plenty of time to talk, and we wanted to enjoy a nice dinner together. We did all three and then some! One of the important reasons I started this daily blog, was to connect with Amber during her freshman year at SWOSU. I wanted to motivate and inspire her. I wanted to take her under my wing, hold her hand, and walk her out of the dark forest of obesity that I so carelessly led her into as a child. Is it guilt? In its purest form. Her entire life I taught her and showed her examples of how to become fat. A child only knows what they’re taught. And we’re responsible for making sure the influence and instruction, our example, is positive. The eating habits and complete lack of activity has taken it’s toll on all of us. So I feel a tremendous responsibilty to show my family that there is a way to get down to our ideal weight, stay there, and become healthier and happier than we’ve ever been. If you’re reading this blog, and you’re not related to me, consider yourself an honorary family member. Courtney has become my little workout partner and a fine student to everything I’m doing. Not being able to have that day to day contact and influence on Amber can’t be replaced with a few paragraphs on a computer screen. So I really needed this trip today, as much or more than Amber. Amber’s lost over 50 pounds since the beginning of the fall semester and now all of her clothes are loose. She’s doing fantastic, and I couldn’t be more proud. She fully understands that a life of obesity is a short road full of heartache, leading straight to an abrupt dead end, and that’s not what Irene and I, or any parent, would want for their kid. We want her to break free and realize all the positive effects of losing weight, getting in shape, and feeling better than ever. It’s much more than just fitting into a pair of jeans we’ve always wanted to wear. The positive effects of a journey like this touches everything we do. It changes our outlook, it makes possible things we were convinced impossible. And that positive energy spreads like wildfire through that “forest of obesity.” Amber is getting out of there and burnin’ it down my friend.
In our excellent adventure, we wanted to do something we had never done together, or otherwise. We decided that we should realease some aggression and fire a real handgun. First of all, I don’t like guns. Never have, probably never will. I don’t own one, I’ve never wanted one, and I don’t plan on owning one ever. I doubt that will change. And it’s not the guns that make me nervous, it’s the people holding them. Ok, it’s the guns too. My extreme caution tonight at the gun range might have been comical to some, but I wasn’t trying to be. We handled that gun like the entire world depended on it’s safety and containment. Like it was some kind of global threat that we were responsible for keeping in check. After careful instruction on how to load the ten round clip, and some basic safety precautions, we made our way onto the range with the biggest, well, the only gun we’ve ever handled, a powerful and rugged looking .22 pistol with a clip, just like in the movies! As soon as we walked in the range area we were startled by what must have been a cannon firing in bay number 7. That gun had a blast that you felt vibrate in your bones. We jumped like scared little rabbits, then gave each other a look of “should we really be here?” But we had come this far, so we made our way into bay number 12 and loaded up, still jumping everytime Dirty Harry in bay 7 jerked his iron. We must have provided some comic relief to every gun enthusiast on the range. Because they weren’t jumping at all. After fumbling with the bullets, and treating each one like it could “go off” any second like a short-fast fuse on a firecracker, we were fully loaded and ready. Then, we busted some caps! It was amazing! After squeezing off the first clip full, our nerves were gone, and we settled in and enjoyed the experience. After 100 rounds, I’m still not convinced I’ll ever own one, but it was certainly an experience Amber and I will never forget as long as we live. Look for a special “On The Go” bonus video blog on Day 175. It’ll feature videos of our experience tonight.
Before we ever made it to the gun range in Oklahoma City, we worked out on campus in the newly constructed, state of the art wellness center. What an amazing facility. It was a great time, and the perfect start to a fantastic evening.
We decided on dining at The Olive Garden. Amber has watched the commercials her entire life, but had never made a trip. How do we go to that place and still stay within range of our calorie budget? It’s simple really. First of all, the food was secondary to our conversation and overall enjoyment of being together. Before September 15th it would have been a completely different approach. Had we made the trip back then, it would have been all about the unlimited breadsticks and eating the biggest and most incredible amount of pasta ever. We would have talked about how we were going to “destroy” that place with a ferocious appetite all the way to the front doors. But it was different tonight. We decided it was our dining destination, and we could handle it responsibly. The first thing we did was ask for water and a nutrition guide. I wanted to know exactly what we were dealing with here. Turns out, they only have calorie counts for a select few dishes, because the numbers on some of the others would probably be embarrassing to print. My strategy for this place was pretty simple: Very little bread, plenty of water, a pasta dish with a tomato based sauce in a lunch size portion, instead of the grand dinner version, a sauce flavored with spices, not sugars, and some soup. I discovered the Minestrone had only 100 calories for a serving, and the Linguine alla Marinara only contained 310. The stuffed mushrooms were a mystery really, so I only had two of them, and over estimated the calories at 60 each, they were pretty small, 60 sounds right. When I don’t know for sure, I’m really careful. I felt 60 calories was an over estimate, but just in case I was completely off on this one, I only had two very small. Amber even convinced me to try a bite of salad. I’ve never been a salad person. You know me, I’m a meat and potato kind of guy all the way. Someone asked me once… “Sean, how do you ever expect to lose weight if you don’t eat salads?” Uh, well, I think I’ve done a pretty good job at disproving the “must eat salads to lose weight” theory. I’m just a real nutcase when it comes to salad, ask Irene, she’ll tell you all about it. I like tomatoes, I love them individually or on a burger or taco or in a wrap with grilled chicken. I like lettuce, in tacos, on burgers, in wraps, and a variety of other ways. I love onions, I love black olives, and a number of other ingredients you can put in a salad. But for some reason, when you put them all together in a salad, it changes something for me. All of a sudden I don’t like it. Isn’t that strange? I did take a bite, for Amber, but I didn’t want to…and it was good! I’m not doing it all the time, but it was completely doable every once in a while, I think.
After dinner we visited a place I haven’t taken Amber since she was five years old. Celebration Station. We were planning on riding go-carts. But decided against it when we discovered the cost for us would be 13.00 dollars every three minutes. What? People pay this??? Do they use actual racing fuel and have full time pit crews or something? Geminee! We wanted to see if I could fit in one, and someday when we’re feeling like getting totally swindled, we’ll head back with a sack full of cash and ride like children! We did notice something really disturbing. They had “slot” machines that dispensed tickets instead of money. But the concept was the same as real slot machines. They certainly looked real. I was shocked that they would include something like this in an enviroment for children. Maybe the company that owns Celebration Station also owns casinos, and they just want to start the conditioning early. Crazy, if you ask me.
By the time the night was over, we had accomplished all we had set out to do, and we were completely spent. Although the date and time on this entry reflects Saturday, you know that it’s Sunday already and the sun is shining. Only once before in all 174 days have I had to wait until the next day to post my blog. Last night was the second. I couldn’t function properly, I was that tired. No way could I have conveyed anything in the proper way in that condition. I needed rest to write. And I got it, a little more than I wanted, but maybe it was needed. Thank you for reading everyday. If you missed having it available this morning, my apologies, I’m sure you understand. Have a fantastic Sunday, good day and…
Good Choices,
Sean
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Day 173 A Special Message and Regulating The Passionate Flow
Day 173
A Special Message and Regulating The Passionate Flow
Today was a special day for me. It was an extremely busy morning show, a fairly busy production day, and a hectic rush this Friday afternoon to get everything else done I needed to do before my weekend could officially start. And right in the middle of it I sat frozen in front of the computer for what felt like an hour, maybe it was only thirty minutes, but it felt much longer. I'll get to why in a moment. First of all let me tell you this: As a kid I remember watching TV with my mom, and really getting into a particular exercise show. It was hosted by someone that could relate to me. Someone who's childhood story was similar, if for nothing else, we were both obese kids. I remember at a young age recognizing the sincerity and realness this man presented every time he was on. Later, as an adult, I would watch his infomercials and really connect with the stories that were told. He has been an inspiration to millions over the years, and I've always had a deep respect and admiration for him and his commitment to helping others. There's nothing fake about this guy. When you see him, it's him 100%. Do I know him personally? No, not at all. But you can tell he's sincere as they come. He's devoted his entire life to motivating and inspiring overweight people around the world. And today he gave me a boost like no other when he sent me a personal e-mail. I'm not going to share the contents of the message here, because it was personal, from him to me, but I'll tell you this. Reading Richard Simmons e-mail over and over motivated me even more, and I didn't think I could get more motivated than I am already. I look up to him like you wouldn't believe, and as I get closer and closer to my weight goal, and closer and closer to my goal of telling my story and motivating people with an inspirational message on a full time basis, I'll always be thinking of him, always striving to reach a bar that has been set so wonderfully high, because Richard is unmatched.
I ran into several people tonight at a fund raiser who noticed and complimented me on my success so far. Sometimes I have to make myself stop talking about the wonderful things I've learned along this journey. It's really hard, because it's become such a passion in my life, but once I get started, I just can't seem to stop the enthusiasm. I had at least three unplanned fifteen minute or longer conversations today on the subject. Now if they're genuinely interested and they're truly listening and they keep asking questions, then alright, and that certainly was the case with those instances...I hope...but I don't want to ever be the person every one avoids at functions, whispering warnings to each other like “whatever you do, don't mention losing weight, exercising, getting healthy, anything to do with calories, or the power of a decision, 'cause he'll talk you into the early morning if you do!” Sometimes, in most situations, less is more. Like tonight, after someone would comment on the dramatic difference in my appearance, I would say thank you, try to keep my words brief, then mention this blog address. If they're really interested, they'll look it up and read, and then the blog relays my enthusiasm for me, without me sounding obsessed by going on and on and on and on. I can afford to have a quiet confidence about me. I have nothing to prove or convince anyone of, my results thus far combined with my written record and audio/video record handles that just fine. Now of course, there's a time and place, right? Next Thursday night at the Hutchins Auditorium I'll be sharing my story and message for about 45 minutes and I'll enjoy every minute of the experience, I hope you will too!
With the schedule packed so tight today and this evening, I knew that my workout would be on the trail in the late evening hours. And that's fine, because the walking trail never closes. As I walked I listened to my favorite upbeat-motivational songs and really was getting into a zone when a fellow walker grabbed my attention. With a fantastic smile on his face, he told me how much he and his wife enjoyed my talk on the 19th at the hospital, and that he listens every morning to my radio show. He told me that he has bad knees, but is out there slowly doing what he can to improve his health anyway, because “no excuses” right? Did I say that? Wow, it sounds so strange that I would embrace something like that, considering that I was a champion excuse maker my entire life, yes sir, held titles in excuse making right up until 173 days ago. And I never had legitimate excuses like bad knees or breathing difficulties. My excuses were along the lines of “I don't feeeeel gooood” or “I'm too stressed out to workout and watch what I eat” or “I've got my favorite TV show coming on, a giant bowl of ice cream, and a couch with my name on it.” It was a pleasure to stop for a short 30 seconds or so to chat with him, and then we were both back at it, moving as best we could in our workout efforts. If you ever see me working out, and you say something and I don't respond, please understand I'm not being rude or anti-social, I just can't hear you. I listen to my tunes loud, probably too loud. When people sometimes go to the walking trail with us, I have to warn them ahead of time that we don't really “visit” while we walk. We started out doing that, but quickly realized that we weren't getting the best workout that way. We're there to work hard and sweat, and that means each of us walking at a pace that gives us the best workout. And that's different with everyone. We've had walking trips where we didn't see or talk to our walking company the entire time. Just ask my cousin Debbie. When Deb joined us for the Anderson Family Christmas Day 5K, she basically walked it alone. Her pace was so far advanced, she finished at least 15 minutes ahead of the rest of us. Had she stayed behind to visit, her workout value would have been dramatically decreased. We never go to visit, we go to workout!
Tomorrow I'm traveling to see Amber by myself. We're going to have so much fun daddy/daughter time together! And tomorrow afternoon I'll finally get a chance to workout in that state of the art wellness center on her campus. I'm looking forward to that! I'll be blogging from the road tomorrow night. Until then, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
A Special Message and Regulating The Passionate Flow
Today was a special day for me. It was an extremely busy morning show, a fairly busy production day, and a hectic rush this Friday afternoon to get everything else done I needed to do before my weekend could officially start. And right in the middle of it I sat frozen in front of the computer for what felt like an hour, maybe it was only thirty minutes, but it felt much longer. I'll get to why in a moment. First of all let me tell you this: As a kid I remember watching TV with my mom, and really getting into a particular exercise show. It was hosted by someone that could relate to me. Someone who's childhood story was similar, if for nothing else, we were both obese kids. I remember at a young age recognizing the sincerity and realness this man presented every time he was on. Later, as an adult, I would watch his infomercials and really connect with the stories that were told. He has been an inspiration to millions over the years, and I've always had a deep respect and admiration for him and his commitment to helping others. There's nothing fake about this guy. When you see him, it's him 100%. Do I know him personally? No, not at all. But you can tell he's sincere as they come. He's devoted his entire life to motivating and inspiring overweight people around the world. And today he gave me a boost like no other when he sent me a personal e-mail. I'm not going to share the contents of the message here, because it was personal, from him to me, but I'll tell you this. Reading Richard Simmons e-mail over and over motivated me even more, and I didn't think I could get more motivated than I am already. I look up to him like you wouldn't believe, and as I get closer and closer to my weight goal, and closer and closer to my goal of telling my story and motivating people with an inspirational message on a full time basis, I'll always be thinking of him, always striving to reach a bar that has been set so wonderfully high, because Richard is unmatched.
I ran into several people tonight at a fund raiser who noticed and complimented me on my success so far. Sometimes I have to make myself stop talking about the wonderful things I've learned along this journey. It's really hard, because it's become such a passion in my life, but once I get started, I just can't seem to stop the enthusiasm. I had at least three unplanned fifteen minute or longer conversations today on the subject. Now if they're genuinely interested and they're truly listening and they keep asking questions, then alright, and that certainly was the case with those instances...I hope...but I don't want to ever be the person every one avoids at functions, whispering warnings to each other like “whatever you do, don't mention losing weight, exercising, getting healthy, anything to do with calories, or the power of a decision, 'cause he'll talk you into the early morning if you do!” Sometimes, in most situations, less is more. Like tonight, after someone would comment on the dramatic difference in my appearance, I would say thank you, try to keep my words brief, then mention this blog address. If they're really interested, they'll look it up and read, and then the blog relays my enthusiasm for me, without me sounding obsessed by going on and on and on and on. I can afford to have a quiet confidence about me. I have nothing to prove or convince anyone of, my results thus far combined with my written record and audio/video record handles that just fine. Now of course, there's a time and place, right? Next Thursday night at the Hutchins Auditorium I'll be sharing my story and message for about 45 minutes and I'll enjoy every minute of the experience, I hope you will too!
With the schedule packed so tight today and this evening, I knew that my workout would be on the trail in the late evening hours. And that's fine, because the walking trail never closes. As I walked I listened to my favorite upbeat-motivational songs and really was getting into a zone when a fellow walker grabbed my attention. With a fantastic smile on his face, he told me how much he and his wife enjoyed my talk on the 19th at the hospital, and that he listens every morning to my radio show. He told me that he has bad knees, but is out there slowly doing what he can to improve his health anyway, because “no excuses” right? Did I say that? Wow, it sounds so strange that I would embrace something like that, considering that I was a champion excuse maker my entire life, yes sir, held titles in excuse making right up until 173 days ago. And I never had legitimate excuses like bad knees or breathing difficulties. My excuses were along the lines of “I don't feeeeel gooood” or “I'm too stressed out to workout and watch what I eat” or “I've got my favorite TV show coming on, a giant bowl of ice cream, and a couch with my name on it.” It was a pleasure to stop for a short 30 seconds or so to chat with him, and then we were both back at it, moving as best we could in our workout efforts. If you ever see me working out, and you say something and I don't respond, please understand I'm not being rude or anti-social, I just can't hear you. I listen to my tunes loud, probably too loud. When people sometimes go to the walking trail with us, I have to warn them ahead of time that we don't really “visit” while we walk. We started out doing that, but quickly realized that we weren't getting the best workout that way. We're there to work hard and sweat, and that means each of us walking at a pace that gives us the best workout. And that's different with everyone. We've had walking trips where we didn't see or talk to our walking company the entire time. Just ask my cousin Debbie. When Deb joined us for the Anderson Family Christmas Day 5K, she basically walked it alone. Her pace was so far advanced, she finished at least 15 minutes ahead of the rest of us. Had she stayed behind to visit, her workout value would have been dramatically decreased. We never go to visit, we go to workout!
Tomorrow I'm traveling to see Amber by myself. We're going to have so much fun daddy/daughter time together! And tomorrow afternoon I'll finally get a chance to workout in that state of the art wellness center on her campus. I'm looking forward to that! I'll be blogging from the road tomorrow night. Until then, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Friday, March 6, 2009
Day 172 Burning Through Another Belt and Making A Good Choice at An Unlikely Place
Day 172
Burning Through Another Belt and Making A Good Choice at An Unlikely Place
When you're being consistent with your lower calories and exercise every single day, the results come rolling in an unstoppable wave of triumph! Almost everyday I see and feel progress. On Valentines Day, one of the very thoughtful gifts Irene gave me was a new belt. This belt is special to me for a few important reasons. First of all, it was a gift from my lovely wife. Second, it was purchased at a regular store a mile from my house, instead of a Big and Tall Emporium nearly 100 miles away. And third, it fit! It only fit on the first notch, but hey! That's cool! It fit!!! Over the course of the last few weeks, I've had to adjust down a notch every now and then. Today I noticed that in order to keep these now over-sized Levi's from falling to the floor, or at least keep me from pulling them up every couple of minutes, I had to use the fourth notch. The belt only has five holes! I'm on the fourth hole! You might be thinking, “Sean really needs help for his excessive Exclamation Point habit!!!!” But I can't help but to exclaim my friend! Soon, I'll have to get a new belt, hey, our 20th anniversary is April 16th, maybe I'll get a new belt then! I think I may need that gift early. Want more results talk? Ok, check this out: Remember me telling you that I bought a pair of size 48 waist jeans while in Oklahoma City a couple of Saturdays ago? I knew they probably wouldn't fit just yet, and I was right. Almost, but I just couldn't bring the button hole and the button together. I needed an inch or two. I tried to put them on as soon as I got home that day, but after turning every shade of red, sweating, and breathing hard, basically getting a bonus workout, I quickly realized it would have to wait a few weeks to happen. Well, just the other day I put them on, and pardon me if I've already shared this story, I can't remember if I have or not. But I did it! What all of my strength while laying flat on the bed couldn't accomplish on February 21st, I accomplished just the other day. The button hole and button embraced each other in the most reluctant way. They were extremely tight, looking like they couldn't stand being together for very long. I quickly realized that there's a difference in fitting and really fitting. I fit in those 48's, but until I can wear them comfortably, without suffering internal injuries, they'll remain in time out, waiting for the moment that button hole and hole can stay together in peace and comfortable harmony. Give me two weeks.
Cathy Cole with the “Lose To Win” program at Ponca City Medical Center called today and asked me to briefly speak after Melissa Walden's presentation at the next “Lose To Win” free seminar at the Hutchins on Tuesday the 10th. She then asked if I could do a full length presentation at the event on Thursday the 12th inside the Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. Is it impolite to say yes before the person finishes their...? Yes! I'll do it. I'm looking forward to sharing more of my story and “secrets” and “tricks” that are neither secret or tricky, but have helped me stay on track so faithfully for the last 172 days. I hope you'll be there for both wonderful nights. If you're reading this blog from hundreds or maybe thousands of miles away, then I'll be sure to have the video from my full length presentation processed, edited into 10 minute segments, uploaded, and posted in a “Bonus Video Blog” within a week or so after the event.
Tonight I enjoyed dinner from a place that I have made a point to avoid at all cost over the last six months. That may sound strange coming from me, “Mr. I can handle any restaurant you throw my way,” But when a restaurant has little to zero good choices, I have no choice but to pass. Until recently, Long John Silvers was on my short list of restaurants to avoid no matter what. But with the addition of their “Freshside Grill” items, they've earned back my occasional business. Before, when I apparently couldn't care less, let me re-phrase that...Before, when I really cared, but was hopelessly and completely out of control, I could easily tear through a couple of thousand calories at LJS in one meal. 172 Days ago, I decided that their menu no longer had anything to offer me that I could honestly consider a “good calorie value.” Well, tonight I enjoyed the grilled tilapia with seasoned rice and a corn on the cob instead of the steamed veggies. Had I stuck with the steamed veggies, the entire meal would have been 350 calories, but choosing the corn made it increase by 65 calories. Still, it was a fantastic flavorful meal, very filling, and under 450 calories! I just go with the smallest size available, the “lunch size” if you will. That's the 350 calorie version, and it cost much less. The “platter” cost about three bucks more and comes with much more rice, like 190 calories more rice, and a big bread stick. I don't have any use for either of those platter extras, so it doesn't make sense to pay for them. Now you listen here Long John Silvers executives, this is the only free advertising you're getting! If you want to make me the “Jared” of LJS, then call my agent, oh wait...I don't have an agent, not yet anyway. ;)
Our workout tonight was outside in this wonderfully warm weather. We opted for the walking trail this evening. It's not much of a challenge to just walk the Hutchins Trail. I really have to concentrate on pushing myself hard when I'm out there. So different from 172 days ago. Back then I had to push myself to just get out of my vehicle, then I would agonize through not even a quarter mile before I thought I would surely die from exhaustion right along side the historic Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. I couldn't have imagined back then that just under six months later, I'd not only be power walking the entire trail with ease, but I'd be inside the same auditorium I once struggled to circle at 505 pounds, delivering a presentation for hundreds that aims to motivate and inspire. What a comeback! I'm so proud and excited. And I mustn't ever forget how fortunate I am to have an opportunity like this. I have many blessings that deserve my most sincere thanks every single day. Thank you for reading my daily blog. Your support makes this journey the sweetest it can be. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
This late night “snack” looks more like a perfect lunch or dinner, but at only 140 calories for the sandwich and 100 calories for the soup, why not?
Burning Through Another Belt and Making A Good Choice at An Unlikely Place
When you're being consistent with your lower calories and exercise every single day, the results come rolling in an unstoppable wave of triumph! Almost everyday I see and feel progress. On Valentines Day, one of the very thoughtful gifts Irene gave me was a new belt. This belt is special to me for a few important reasons. First of all, it was a gift from my lovely wife. Second, it was purchased at a regular store a mile from my house, instead of a Big and Tall Emporium nearly 100 miles away. And third, it fit! It only fit on the first notch, but hey! That's cool! It fit!!! Over the course of the last few weeks, I've had to adjust down a notch every now and then. Today I noticed that in order to keep these now over-sized Levi's from falling to the floor, or at least keep me from pulling them up every couple of minutes, I had to use the fourth notch. The belt only has five holes! I'm on the fourth hole! You might be thinking, “Sean really needs help for his excessive Exclamation Point habit!!!!” But I can't help but to exclaim my friend! Soon, I'll have to get a new belt, hey, our 20th anniversary is April 16th, maybe I'll get a new belt then! I think I may need that gift early. Want more results talk? Ok, check this out: Remember me telling you that I bought a pair of size 48 waist jeans while in Oklahoma City a couple of Saturdays ago? I knew they probably wouldn't fit just yet, and I was right. Almost, but I just couldn't bring the button hole and the button together. I needed an inch or two. I tried to put them on as soon as I got home that day, but after turning every shade of red, sweating, and breathing hard, basically getting a bonus workout, I quickly realized it would have to wait a few weeks to happen. Well, just the other day I put them on, and pardon me if I've already shared this story, I can't remember if I have or not. But I did it! What all of my strength while laying flat on the bed couldn't accomplish on February 21st, I accomplished just the other day. The button hole and button embraced each other in the most reluctant way. They were extremely tight, looking like they couldn't stand being together for very long. I quickly realized that there's a difference in fitting and really fitting. I fit in those 48's, but until I can wear them comfortably, without suffering internal injuries, they'll remain in time out, waiting for the moment that button hole and hole can stay together in peace and comfortable harmony. Give me two weeks.
Cathy Cole with the “Lose To Win” program at Ponca City Medical Center called today and asked me to briefly speak after Melissa Walden's presentation at the next “Lose To Win” free seminar at the Hutchins on Tuesday the 10th. She then asked if I could do a full length presentation at the event on Thursday the 12th inside the Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. Is it impolite to say yes before the person finishes their...? Yes! I'll do it. I'm looking forward to sharing more of my story and “secrets” and “tricks” that are neither secret or tricky, but have helped me stay on track so faithfully for the last 172 days. I hope you'll be there for both wonderful nights. If you're reading this blog from hundreds or maybe thousands of miles away, then I'll be sure to have the video from my full length presentation processed, edited into 10 minute segments, uploaded, and posted in a “Bonus Video Blog” within a week or so after the event.
Tonight I enjoyed dinner from a place that I have made a point to avoid at all cost over the last six months. That may sound strange coming from me, “Mr. I can handle any restaurant you throw my way,” But when a restaurant has little to zero good choices, I have no choice but to pass. Until recently, Long John Silvers was on my short list of restaurants to avoid no matter what. But with the addition of their “Freshside Grill” items, they've earned back my occasional business. Before, when I apparently couldn't care less, let me re-phrase that...Before, when I really cared, but was hopelessly and completely out of control, I could easily tear through a couple of thousand calories at LJS in one meal. 172 Days ago, I decided that their menu no longer had anything to offer me that I could honestly consider a “good calorie value.” Well, tonight I enjoyed the grilled tilapia with seasoned rice and a corn on the cob instead of the steamed veggies. Had I stuck with the steamed veggies, the entire meal would have been 350 calories, but choosing the corn made it increase by 65 calories. Still, it was a fantastic flavorful meal, very filling, and under 450 calories! I just go with the smallest size available, the “lunch size” if you will. That's the 350 calorie version, and it cost much less. The “platter” cost about three bucks more and comes with much more rice, like 190 calories more rice, and a big bread stick. I don't have any use for either of those platter extras, so it doesn't make sense to pay for them. Now you listen here Long John Silvers executives, this is the only free advertising you're getting! If you want to make me the “Jared” of LJS, then call my agent, oh wait...I don't have an agent, not yet anyway. ;)
Our workout tonight was outside in this wonderfully warm weather. We opted for the walking trail this evening. It's not much of a challenge to just walk the Hutchins Trail. I really have to concentrate on pushing myself hard when I'm out there. So different from 172 days ago. Back then I had to push myself to just get out of my vehicle, then I would agonize through not even a quarter mile before I thought I would surely die from exhaustion right along side the historic Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. I couldn't have imagined back then that just under six months later, I'd not only be power walking the entire trail with ease, but I'd be inside the same auditorium I once struggled to circle at 505 pounds, delivering a presentation for hundreds that aims to motivate and inspire. What a comeback! I'm so proud and excited. And I mustn't ever forget how fortunate I am to have an opportunity like this. I have many blessings that deserve my most sincere thanks every single day. Thank you for reading my daily blog. Your support makes this journey the sweetest it can be. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
This late night “snack” looks more like a perfect lunch or dinner, but at only 140 calories for the sandwich and 100 calories for the soup, why not?
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