Tuesday, March 28, 2017

March 28th, 2017 Firm Grip

March 28th, 2017 Firm Grip

I've done well in recognizing my limits and drawing lines where I must in order to protect me and my plan. Sometimes it means bringing things down to the simplest of terms; a minimum set of requirements for the day. That's what today required.

I was at work by 6am, left at 11am to get mom to her doctor's appointment, back at work by 1pm, left at almost 5pm--then was back by 7pm for weather coverage until 11:30pm. It's midnight. And it starts again at 4:30am. Actually, I think I'll set the alarm for 5am. I might need that extra 30 minutes.

I had to do miss my Tuesday night weight loss support group teleconference call tonight. I do not like doing that-- but I hadn't a choice with the weather situation, and fortunately, Coach Kathleen covered. She and I can do that for each other when needed. It works out well.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I made it important to stay connected with good support.

The schedule should start easing some in the coming days. In the meantime, I'll ride it with a firm grip.

Today's Accountability Tweets:
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, March 27, 2017

March 27th, 2017 Most Things

March 27th, 2017 Most Things

I haven't been managing my calorie budget well. I should never have nearly 400 left at the end of the day. But lately, for a variety of reasons, it seems difficult to hit certain marks throughout the day. The optimal level for me is somewhere between 1500 and 1600 before dinner. That gives a reasonable dinner amount and leaves a normal amount of calorie for some fruit as I write this blog.

With over 400 calories left, I concocted a crazy combination tonight--that I'll admit, was a little much this time of night. It was refined sugar-free--yes...it was within my calorie budget--yes, but still, I feel overly full from it--and I don't like that feeling. I suppose it conjures up memories. I think, from now on--when I have too many calories left, I'll just leave them on the table. I'll eat a reasonable, normal amount of fruit--and call it good. If I want to prevent going too far under budget, then I'll need to plan better throughout the day.

Anyway-- nice "problems" to have, I know. And it isn't about any one food item really--to me, it's more about a rhythm and style of eating--and breaking that rhythm even while maintaining plan boundaries, can eventually break the plan.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, and I stayed well connected with support.

The schedule is still nuts and will be the rest of this week. I'm hoping our threat of severe weather tomorrow diminishes quickly. But as it stands, it's there.

I take mom to the doctor tomorrow. It'll be a fast back and forth midday trip because tomorrow is also the day we transition to all new hardware and software at the studio.

I'm handling the stress a little better than expected. It's going to be a wonderful thing. It'll simply take time for adjustment. Isn't that true for most things?

Today's Accountability Tweets:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, March 26, 2017

March 26th, 2017 In The Can

March 26th, 2017 In The Can

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with support.

The schedule today started early at the studio--had a break in the middle--then ended late. I just got home from on-air weather coverage. I planned on writing a little more tonight--but I'll catch up next time.

By the way, episode 15 of Transformation Planet is coming soon. It's "in the can" as we say in the broadcasting world. Heather Robertson from Half Size Me is my special guest! I haven't had the time needed for production! But it's coming, for sure!

Goodnight. I'm hitting the pillow! 

Today's Accountability Tweets:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, March 25, 2017

March 25th, 2017 Emcee

March 25th, 2017 Emcee

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, I stayed connected with support--and I had plenty of natural exercise!

I was the emcee tonight at a special fundraiser for the autism center.
































I did this event last year. Below is a 2016/2017 comparison--and without checking, I'm fairly certain it's within a few pounds. I'm very proud of maintaining. And truly, it's much more than a reflection of size/weight. It's a reflection of maintaining the integrity of a plan each day and absolutely giving it the highest importance level. One day at a time. Those days add up!


























































This wasn't tonight. I just ran across an old stand-up performance photo--and it reminded me how much I miss doing stand-up. I must find a way to occasionally work in a set somewhere!!!

Tomorrow starts early--it's back to the studio to continue this hardware/software transition. I'll be sure to pack the food I need--and I may run into the store on the way to grab a few things I might need.

Today's Accountability Tweets:
































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, March 24, 2017

March 24th, 2017 Not Lost On Me

March 24th, 2017 Not Lost On Me

The stress level has been set to the high position. We're changing software and hardware at the studios--and we're going on-line with it as early as Sunday evening. The goal is for the listener not to really notice the switch--it's behind the scenes stuff, but believe me, it takes a bunch of work on the entire team. I suppose I'm not feeling as confident as I need to feel with these challenges. We have great support direct from the manufacturer--they're actually in-studio with us, to help--and full support for the software on the phone, anytime--so, now it's up to me to alleviate my stress by asking lots and lots of questions and paying close attention to the answers. Learning new things can be stressful if I try to figure it out on my own. Good thing we don't have to figure it all out on our own. The parallels between this and other very important things in my life are not lost on me.

I'll be spending a number of hours working on the transition at the studio this weekend.

Today was another long and involved day. Aside from the morning show and normal production responsibilities, I worked a four hour/two station location broadcast until 5pm. I ran a few errands afterward--and by the time I made it home, a nap was in order. I was simply spent. My voice was wrecked from thirty-two approximately 3 minutes each on-air breaks.

Dinner was late--and it was okay by me. I typically don't go this long between meals, like I did between lunch and dinner because it isn't necessarily a good thing for my food plan. Part of the plan is keeping a somewhat consistent schedule and steady pacing. Today was an exception, not a rule.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support, including a very nice conversation tonight.

Oh--and about the stress-- For me, when it combines with tiredness, that's when I'm most vulnerable. In fact--it was just the other day when, after a prayer and some holy moly, I'm feeling super unstable feelings--I called Gerri in the middle of these tilted food thoughts--and after a few minutes of speaking, I was okay--and I could carry on, on-plan. But yes--of course those thoughts come. The difference is, I'm not relying solely on me to resist the temptation of those wonky thoughts that do their best to convince me a binge might alleviate the stress or somehow fix my tiredness. If I tried to rely 100% on me, I'd be 500 pounds or more right now because I don't have willpower. It isn't willpower that keeps me well, I assure you.

A binge never alleviated stress in my life. A binge might have distracted me from many stressful situations for as long as it took to plow through the food, but the stress was always waiting for after the last bite. And a binge never rejuvenated or restored me to a well-rested state.  

Today's Accountability Tweets:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, March 23, 2017

March 23rd, 2017 Reframe It

March 23rd, 2017 Reframe It

Today was a long one. It's days like today when I must have a plan in place. Actually--check that, I must have a plan in place each and every day--but especially when the schedule is challenging. I did have a plan and I followed it well.

I had the pleasure and benefit of some powerful support interactions, too. The direction of the support exchange doesn't matter, both parties benefit every single time. It sure helped me today. If you ever entertain the thought "I don't want to reach out for support because I don't want to bother anyone," try your best to reframe it.

For one, please don't assume what the other person is doing on the receiving end. And don't take it personally if the reply is delayed. The most powerful part of a support call or text--happens when the message is sent. The act of sharing with another human exactly where you are at any particular moment changes things. Suddenly, those wild thoughts don't live exclusively in your head. 

But the biggest reframe in my opinion: When you reach for support, you're giving the receiver an opportunity to help someone--and in that, you're essentially extending a feel-good gift, because who doesn't feel great when they're able to help someone? Not reaching out for support denies them the opportunity to help.  

Mom's doctor appointment went well. It was her last appointment with her primary care doctor of 20 years. She's switched to a new doctor who's in charge where she lives. We didn't get back until almost 9pm--and we were surprised to see her new doctor making rounds. He stopped by to check on mom and we were able to give him the details of today's visit.

We dined out at one of our old favorites tonight. And mom was able to do some clothes shopping.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with wonderful support.

Today's Accountability Tweets:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

March 22nd, 2017 What I've Been Told And Shown

March 22nd, 2017 What I've Been Told And Shown

Running into people whom I haven't seen in years, is sometimes fun. This happened (again) today. After giving me one look, "You're still doing well on your diet" fell out of her mouth accompanied by a surprised expression. I didn't explain anything. I simply said "yes, every day." 

I cringe a little at the word "diet"--because, I'm not on a diet--and haven't been. See this recent blog post for a more in-depth explanation of that one. But I get it and it's fine. This happens quite a bit actually--these interactions, recently in fact--the whole "You're still skinny" thing. Anyone can call it anything they like, because I know what it's been.

It's been a miracle.

Most people don't make it back. I'm here. And considering where I was and how quickly I got back there...yeah, it's an absolute miracle for me to be here, now. I give thanks for this blessing each day, right before I start doing what I've been told and shown works, by others who've traveled this road long before me.  

I don't know it all. I don't have all the answers for anybody, including me. But I can learn and I can watch and I can study what others do and I can stop talking long enough to listen and I can read between the lines and I can be honest with myself long enough to function in reality instead of some alternate perception created in my own head for the specific purpose of releasing me from the responsibility of taking extraordinary care of me. And somehow, this miraculous thing gets done, one day at a time--it gets done.  It's not impossible for me.

It's not impossible for you.

I can do this.

You can do this.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, remained refined sugar-free, exceeded my daily water goal, stayed closely connected to awesome support, and enjoyed a great workout at the YMCA. It was a good day.

I visited with mom this evening before my Y trip. She's doing better as indicated by a few things, namely her blood oxygen reading after forgetting to put the oxygen tube back on after a restroom trip. Thirty minutes later and she was still in the mid 90's. I'll pick up mom tomorrow afternoon, right after work, for a trip to her doctor in Stillwater. It'll likely be her last visit with her primary care doc there--considering she has a new doctor here. She's looking forward to getting out and about!

Today's Accountability Tweets:










































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

March 21st, 2017 Same Thing

March 21st, 2017 Same Thing

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with great support.

I woke with a horrible pain in the neck. I slept on it wrong, stress, who knows?? I limped through my show and immediately left right after, made it back home to apply heat and take ibuprofen. This happened a few weeks ago--or maybe a month or so...same thing, same place--same pain. I did feel better by noon, just in time to get back to work and get some things done.

I reached for some key support today. Reaching out for support is just as important to me as maintaining the integrity of my food plan. It's a daily thing.

I'm feeling much better tonight. The neck isn't hurting--I've had a good food day, a fantastic support day, and I have what I need for a good tomorrow.

Today's Accountability Tweets:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, March 20, 2017

March 20th, 2017 On Missing Richard Simmons

March 20th, 2017 On Missing Richard Simmons

It was probably during the summertime, must have been, because I remember watching The Richard Simmons Show with mom every time it was on. Mom was in her mid 30's and in the process of losing 100 pounds--and she worked out with Richard's show. I might have jumped in a time or two, but honestly, I don't remember. What I do remember is being absolutely touched by someone so sensitive, compassionate, empathetic, and loving. There was a genuineness about Richard that reached through our television set and made an impact on me. A very important impact.

When he called me in June of 2009--it was surreal. We talked for twelve and a half minutes. It was the greatest thing. He was simply encouraging me. And although I was one of probably fifty calls like that for him on that day--he gave his time and asked questions, and I'll never forget the experience.

I've always had a profound admiration for Richard--someone who's truly devoted his entire life to spreading hope, inspiration, and smiles--plenty of smiles!!

We only spoke once and exchanged five or six emails over the years, the most recent, right before he withdrew from the spotlight. It was right before I started my turnaround from relapse/regain. I explained where I found myself--and he replied, in signature fashion:

I AM VERY VERY PROUD OF YOU..................WE ARE ALL HUMAN SEAN.............JUST ENCOURAGE OTHER ....FROM YOUR HEART................
LOVE,
RICHARD

I just finished the podcast phenomenon known as Missing Richard Simmons. It's a six-episode series--and it's available wherever you find your favorite podcasts. It immediately shot to number 1 on the podcast charts. Filmmaker Dan Taberski presents an in-depth quest to find out why Richard just walked away--from everything and everyone, except a few people.

Kathleen Miles, my partner in Sean and Kathleen's Weight Loss Support Groups, is featured regularly on Missing Richard Simmons. Kathleen was very close with Richard, even worked alongside him during TV appearances and on infomercials.

There were times throughout the listening experience--I didn't like what I was hearing. But ultimately, Dan Taberski brought it home--brought it down to what matters most...and without being a spoiler to anyone who hasn't listened, I'll just say-- it wasn't how I thought this podcast series would end, but I felt better about it all, somehow.

And this is coming from me--someone who never met Richard face to face---and I still feel a sense of loss. That's how Richard touched people--all over the world. There are thousands and thousands of people like me who felt some kind of special connection despite never meeting Richard. I can't imagine how it must be for Dan, Kathleen--and so many others who knew him personally and became close.

I typically don't cry when someone I didn't know personally passes--(okay-I did with John Candy and Johnny Carson) and Richard is alive--very much, and I hope Richard has another thirty years--but when it comes, if I'm still here--I know I'll shed a tear.

There will never be another Richard Simmons. He was the epitome of "one of a kind." 

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, I stayed well connected with great support, and I worked out at the YMCA tonight.

It was good--

I'll go for another one like today, tomorrow.

Letting the Tweets take it the rest of the way...

Today's Accountability Tweets:








































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, March 19, 2017

March 19th, 2017 These Things

March 19th, 2017 These Things

I slept in very well today. That can be a tricky thing, especially on a Sunday, because the day gets tilted--meaning, everything happens a little later than it should. But it happened. And I'm here--and doing okay with my food.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with great support.

I have so many things to be grateful for--and when I start feeling down, I've got to remember these things.

Today's Accountability Tweets:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean





Copyright © 2008-2016 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.