Saturday, September 23, 2017

September 23rd, 2017 In It

September 23rd, 2017 In It

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Today started very early with location broadcasts from 9am to 3:30pm. I need my time in the morning--for my routine, before breakfast and getting ready for work, so--if I need to be somewhere by 9am, I need to be up no later than 7am. It made for a rather short night. I made sure I had what I needed and it was a good day.

One Year Ago Today on The DDWL:

September 23rd, 2016-
I'm not sure what happened today. Going in, it didn't appear like it would become so tightly packed. My schedule was almost down to the minute. I really must watch myself--and make sure I'm taking care of me on a day like today. I didn't do horrible today, but it wasn't perfect. It's never perfect!! Perfection isn't my aim. Consistency is my aim. 

What wasn't so peachy about today? I waited too long between breakfast and lunch. Not a big deal, as long as it's the exception and not the rule. And under an elevated stress, I really should have reached out for support more throughout the day. These things might seem small and insignificant, but I assure you--the consequences of allowing inconsistency to creep into the routine of my daily disciplines, are the kind of consequences that can quickly put me at risk for an epic unraveling. Will days like this happen? Of course! Can I be better prepared to handle them? Yes.

One of the things I look forward to each day is the privilege of reading some of the private writings of my friend and mentor, Gerri Helms. With her permission, I'm sharing a powerful excerpt from this morning's edition:

"Diets are external solutions, intended to bring one to a healthy body weight. I tried a lot of external solutions, but unfortunately, I’m someone who had too much internal garbage to apply the bandage of a diet and enjoy what they promised. My internal debris was such that I’d return to compulsive overeating again, and again to get that sense of relief I craved. Food promised to deliver it, but it wasn’t a long-lasting fix. Within a very short time, I’d need more food, just to exist."

Let that soak in a little more. Wow. Seeking external solutions for internal debris...the bandage of a diet... Thank you Gerri!

She's good. She's really good.
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You're Elite. You're extraordinary! And the things you're making important each day are powerful.

The great thing about progress over perfection is- It's never compared or put up side by side to anyone or anything else. The bar- the expectations we set- the rules we make- the boundaries we set, these things aren't up for panel review or comparison- these things are yours and yours alone, and they'll evolve with your continued efforts.

These things you're doing are simply designed to give you positive progress toward your goals. Once we achieve our initial goals, a different perspective grounded in sustainability takes hold.

Few know or understand all of the "little things" that contribute to your success... and there are NO "little things." They're huge.

The thing is: Hard and fast without deeper explorations of the whys and hows, can sometimes deliver us to where we desire- but often, the challenge of maintaining a semblance of perfection leaves us exhausted and frustrated- and always feeling like it's not enough, or not good enough. Further, it creates a huge emotional and mental deficit once we "arrive," because, in the hard and fast, we're not exploring the deeper of what makes these shifts in perspective solid.

When we embrace structure and an individual plan that may not look perfect, or feel perfect- we're essentially putting ourselves in the best position to attain lasting and deeper transformation because suddenly what we once perceived as "failures," become our biggest assets- the biggest contributors to our monumental success... the best opportunities to learn... and grow along this road- and we do, because it's measured.

And it's our own individual trek- it's never comparable to anyone else, and if we allow our energy to focus on the day to day actions of our plan, rather than the "perception of perfection," magical things can happen.

And then, oh my- we can dream; envision incredible possibilities. At the end of the day, the results speak loudly... the proof and assurance you need, is in the positive progress you're making.

You've earned every "well done," along this road. You've faced and are still in the middle of exceptional and extraordinary challenges... and still, you're in it... you're doing what you can do when you can, and it is always good enough.

The plan evolves.

What you're able to do today is different than what you'll be capable of tomorrow- and so it goes... and where it leads is remarkable and inspiring.

You're elite even if your current temporary circumstance doesn't feel elite. You're still elite.

Goodnight!

Today's Accountability Tweets:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, September 22, 2017

September 22nd, 2017 Starts Early

September 22nd, 2017 Starts Early

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support contacts.

Friday night Tweets-only edition.

Work starts early in the morning with a full day of location broadcasts!

Today's Accountability Tweets:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, September 21, 2017

September 21st, 2017 Capable

September 21st, 2017 Capable

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded today's water goal, and I stayed connected with support.

Today was one of those rare days with weekday afternoon location broadcasts. I had a big lunch in order to hold me until a later dinner because I was hell-bent on getting a short nap as soon as I made it home late afternoon. This was not the best decision, at all. I was out for too long. Prepared a late dinner and now, as a consequence, I'm up too late. Silver lining--I'll have a regular workday tomorrow.

This trek is far from perfect, that's for certain! And my personal plan, as much as it's working well in the food department, needs some improvements--clearly. It'll never be perfect and that's a relief.

However, I'm honest enough with myself to know I'm capable of better.

But I'm good at the moment--I have plenty of blessings and lots of gratitude.

I stopped by mom's this evening for a nice visit. She was out walking laps around the halls of the facility. She's doing very well!

Today's Accountability Tweets:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

September 20th, 2017 Late

September 20th, 2017 Late

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with support.

Late night!

I'm letting the Tweets tell the tale tonight.

Today's Accountability Tweets:
























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

September 19th, 2017 Wasn't A Straight Shot

September 19th, 2017 Wasn't A Straight Shot

Last Friday was a very special day on this blog--and I suppose I was too busy to notice. I missed my nine-year blogiversary! This blog is growing up so fast!!! :)

Flashback--
Day 1 September 15th, 2008:

Today was the all-important day #1 of a long hard battle. Losing weight is something that I've always known how to do, but just didn't do. Oh yeah, I did lose 115 pounds back in 2004--But I gained it all back and then some. And honestly, I think my family is tired of hearing "someday." I know I am.

I also know that losing weight and being healthy and looking good will have tremendously positive effects on every aspect of my life. I've always known that. I firmly believe that I've allowed my weight to hold me back in my career, and more importantly: It's held my family back from fully enjoying life. That's pretty big stuff.

I'm writing this blog as a self-motivation tool. I need to write, I need to express my feelings and experiences, I need to continually remind myself of what I need to do and keep doing. That's what this blog is all about. If you read this blog and have a laugh or feel inspired to lose weight too, then it's all the better! But I'm doing it for me. And by doing it for me, I'm also doing it for my beautiful wife and two daughters. 

How important is it that I lose the weight now? Well...every now and then I daydream a nightmare where I envision my family at my funeral. I know...it's dark! And very scary. But every time I have a little pain I wonder, is this it? Am I about to collapse? Will my funeral be Thursday?? That's very depressing and scary stuff. But when you're as big as I am, it's something that you have to think about all the time. 

Again, the question comes: Then why is it so hard to lose the weight? 

Well, it's hard because there are so many psychological factors that play a part in our daily choices. I eat because it tastes good...I eat because I'm stressed out over something...I eat because "we're celebrating"...I eat because it's much easier to eat whatever you want than count calories and make healthy choices. 

I never exercise on purpose because it's way easier to not. 

But all of this must change. 

I convinced myself that my eating and lack of exercise was controlled by my stress level and emotions. So surely I can convince myself that despite a high-stress life, I can still eat less and workout. And that's exactly how to lose weight. Eat less and workout. I don't want a surgery or a lap band or anything other than complete control of myself.

This is all about making choices. Every choice we make has a consequence...some good, some bad...Some really good, Some very, very bad. Choices and consequences, that's what it's all about.

So what am I doing? I'm choosing 1500 calories a day and exercise. I've proven this combination works for me (see 2004 reference above). Tomorrow I weigh. I'm really scared at what I might weigh. I guarantee it'll be more than you think. But one thing I promise in this blog...I'll put it all out there...As much as it might be embarrassing to announce my weight tomorrow night, I will. I have to...because I must make myself accountable. I know it will be over 500 pounds...It will for sure. I'll report on my weigh in tomorrow night.

Today was day 1. A successful day 1. 

I even turned down fresh baked Otis Spunkmeyer cookies! Ya see my bank has cookie days every Monday and Friday...so naturally, I do all my banking on those days, because even though you're supposed to come inside to get the free cookies, they know me so well, that they will send them through the tube in the drive-through. 

Today was cookie day, and without my asking, they sent me some cookies with my cash. It was a test! I politely declined the cookies and pushed the button jetting them back to the teller. I explained to a shocked panel of tellers that I was trying to count calories, and although I can have 1500 a day, I couldn't waste 250 on that delicious little cookie. Day 1 and already a test of willpower. This is gonna be fun.

I look forward to this blog. I believe it will help me stay on track and maybe along the way it will inspire someone else to stay on track.

--------------------------------------------------------
I just love the way I thought I had it all figured out on Day 1. Clearly, I had much to learn nine years ago--still do as far as that's concerned, but it's fun for me to go back and read some of those early pages. Some of it makes me cringe. A lot of it makes me smile. 

Regardless, I'm incredibly blessed and grateful to be here, in maintenance mode, nine years later. It certainly wasn't a straight shot, was it? Oh no...not at all.  But a straight shot wouldn't have been good for me.

It's the challenges, the ups and downs--the struggles--the opportunity to grow, stop, pause, look around--take another approach and discover what works well and what doesn't--these are the things that bring the biggest gifts along the way. It's interesting to me how attitude and perspective work. Things once perceived as failures, transform into the most powerful learning opportunities.

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Sincerely, thank you for reading and supporting this blog all these years!

Today's Accountability Tweets:
























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, September 18, 2017

September 18th, 2017 We Are Worthy

September 18th, 2017 We Are Worthy

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with support.

Time for a DDWL flashback from the archives--

Every once in a while, I hear it: "Congratulations, you look great. You're so strong," or a similar quote. I accepted a version of this today from someone who I ran into at the grocery store, whom I hadn't seen in years. I don't think they're remotely aware of the relapse and regain period of this journey. I gracefully accepted the compliment with a "thank you, very much! I feel great too!"

Accepting a compliment and saying thank you instead of first listing off all of the reasons you believe their perception is inaccurate--is tough to do. It's important to embrace, though. I've found the urge to discount or immediately deny compliments have faded, but I still feel a little twinge in that direction. Old habits die hard.

Are we not worthy? It's not that, really. Yes, we are worthy. But I tend to examine things a little deeper, especially this notion that I'm super strong along this road. I have a tremendous amount of respect for the fragility of peace. It can be wiped away quickly. One day at a time is the truth.

Let me explain, please.

And keep in mind, I'm not discounting my success and where I am or what I'm doing. I'm simply offering perspective to this compliment I seem to attract every now and again.

Am I strong? Or have I just learned and put into practice the power of structure? Without the support structure of my fundamental elements, I'm not strong at all. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you know exactly what happened when I abandoned my "rails of support." I gained back 164 pounds. I suppose I don't do anything small.

The message here is to build your system. Find what works for you. Lean on the elements you need to keep you motivated and focused toward your extraordinary care. Never underestimate the power of support from others. When we try to do this alone is precisely the moment it gets super hard. Perhaps I'm strong at building my support structure. But on my own, I'm not strong at all. I'm affected, I'm complicated and most of all, I'm human.

But if I see you out and about and you offer me a compliment like the one described above, I'll not disagree with you. I'll gracefully accept your compliment. And if you're searching for the same strength, I'll encourage you, too. Because it's in you, I know it is.

It truly isn't about building up enough strength to go it alone. It's about strengthening your rails of support. Build your support structure. Don't be afraid of accountability measures, just make sure they're designed to hold you accountable to something you can sustain long-term.

Today's Accountability Tweets:




































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, September 17, 2017

September 17th, 2017 Managed

September 17th, 2017 Managed

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with support.

I slept in like a bear. It wasn't too long after I got up when I realized I needed to run to the studio to get some work finished that couldn't wait (translation: I forgot to get it done!). I pushed back breakfast to the point of it being referred to as brunch. This tilted my food schedule. It happens occasionally. I managed.

By the way, last night's "this is 1 of 21 meals I'll eat this week," is something I learned from Life Coach Gerri. I've learned a bunch of things from her--my goodness, to be honest, without her influence, I don't think I'd be at a healthy weight. The list of perspectives and the phrases that help understand the perspectives better is a long, long list I've learned from Gerri.

I picked up mom for a little shopping trip to Walmart and dinner out at our favorite Mexican restaurant. It was quality time. We took a drive after dinner and just enjoyed each other's company and conversation.

It was a decent day!

Today's Accountability Tweets:






















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, September 16, 2017

September 16th, 2017 Not A Big Deal

September 16th, 2017 Not A Big Deal

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal by a lot, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Today was the last day for me to broadcast from the big fair. This evenings broadcast started with picking up my oldest daughter and ended with a trip to pick up my grandson Noah for some fun at the fair! I decided my dinner would be something at the fair and it was, although it wasn't what I had planned. I planned on fried green tomatoes and alligator meat for dinner, but the line and wait were simply too long. I settled for something else and it worked. It wasn't what I wanted but it's only one of twenty-one meals I'll eat this week--in other words, not a big deal!

The focus and attention was on Noah, not the food.
He noticed another kid with a face painting--and that's what he wanted!
























He won a big prize on his first attempt!
























Amber and Me. We had a beautiful time at the fair!




















I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow morning. Today was a good one!

Today's Accountability Tweets:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, September 15, 2017

September 15th, 2017 Even Still

September 15th, 2017 Even Still

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with support.

I've had some long days on several occasions, but today was exceptional. I started at 4:15am, was able to come home just long enough to fix some coffee before my location broadcast this afternoon, then it was a grocery stop, a 30-minute visit with mom, and another hour back at the studio finishing a few things. It made for a late dinner.

Even still, it was a good day. It was a productive day--and it was both, despite not feeling my best.

I'm really looking forward to sleeping in as late as I can tomorrow morning.

Today's Accountability Tweets:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, September 14, 2017

September 14th, 2017 Crud Of Late

September 14th, 2017 Crud Of Late

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed connected with support contacts.

This crud of late is persisting. It made for somewhat of a challenging broadcast from the fair this afternoon. I 'turned it on' and made it through, but I'll tell you--it was not good. My stomach feels fine, it's congestion, stuffy head, and sinus pressure type stuff.

I took some medicine and fell asleep on the couch after dinner and now I'm up long enough to post this and drop in bed.

Today's Accountability Tweets:
























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean





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