Sunday, September 23, 2018

September 23rd, 2018 Rooney

September 23rd, 2018 Rooney

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Finally, I made time for a haircut yesterday. My eyebrows... oh wait, have I shared about my eyebrows? My eyebrows need their own blog. Anyway-- they received their quarterly trim, too. It might seem small and insignificant, but doing things for ourselves, like the salon trip yesterday, feels wonderful and has a bigger impact than just looking human again. When I feel good about me, I'm much more likely to do well in other areas of my continued care and wellness. The eyebrows... oh my, we need another paragraph...

Do you remember the late, great Andy Rooney's eyebrows? He became attached to them--these giant out of control eyebrows became a trademark for Rooney. I don't know if that's the perspective he held, but I do know that CBS and 60 Minutes certainly had a hair and makeup department--and they never touched his eyebrows. Or so it seemed. Maybe they did and his were actually much worse!! Anyway, I write all of this with much respect and love for Andy Rooney. Also, I write this to say, in twenty-years, my eyebrows just might make it into the Rooney league. 

My youngest daughter lucked out--she got her mom's eyebrows. My oldest, uh--got mine. Sorry Amber! I somehow feel like I should pitch in for her eyebrow waxing, trimming, and shaping appointments.

No more rogue eyebrows poking me in the eye. That's happened. At least, not for another few months when I'll need to do this dance again.

I'm eating breakfast as I compose this post. How did it take me years and years before discovering the magic of avocado toast. I read somewhere, someone referring to it as a "millennial" thing. Really? Wrong!! I'm certainly not a millennial. I just love the combination of textures-the crunch of the Ezekiel toast, the creaminess of the avocado--the salt and pepper... I just love these things. But what's interesting to me is, how I can be all about these but at the same time, not feel compelled to compulsively overeat on 'em. It's not a trigger food for me. Good thing, because if it were it would have to go on my trigger list. And that would be a very sad day. Apples, too--never binged my face off on apples, or eggs...or anything currently on my plate.

I enjoyed a nice date night last night. The next few Saturday's include work stuff, mainly independent of the radio station, so I made sure to make time for last night. It was a good experience!

I'm planning on a doing some personal work on my goals this afternoon. The workshop with Gerri included worksheets Gerri put together for us. I plan on working the worksheets later this afternoon.

Mom's looking forward to getting out this evening for dinner and a shopping trip. The changing season and temps have her in "must get cold weather clothing" mode. I guess we'll do a little shopping for her.

I hope your Sunday is an amazing one!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, September 22, 2018

September 22nd, 2018 A Few Notches Above

September 22nd, 2018 A Few Notches Above

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I slept in very well this morning. It felt amazing. It's kind of put me in a rush to get to the studio for a few things and then to a hair appointment, but I don't care. That deep-restorative rest was worth every extra minute.

The week behind me was an absolute gift. I'm so grateful for Life Coach Gerri Helms and everyone who came along for the 4-day/4-hour goal workshop. I love being a part of something special. When I get to work with people who are making their way through and discovering their pathways through and around long-standing obstacles, it is incredibly fulfilling--"special" isn't even the word, it's a few notches above.

I'm looking forward to a great day today. The sun is shining and I have an opportunity to give myself some time I need to explore my goals and action plan.

I hope your Saturday is full of sunshine too--actual sunshine or at least the "sunshine" you create--or better, a combination of the two!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, September 21, 2018

September 21st, 2018 Chipping Away

September 21st, 2018 Chipping Away

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

One thing I've learned over the years is how most things don't change completely overnight. Some things do--but those things are usually the ones beyond our control. The things we work on--the intentional focus and attention toward better things take time to get firm; to develop and evolve, and that requires patience. My schedule and making sure I'm rested and ready for any particular day is one of the foundational things I'm working toward because it supports everything else.

I'm stubborn though--so breaking through to better habits and behaviors takes time! Writing this blog in the morning instead of at night was one move that'll help. Now--I must install some others!

I was doing some chores way too late last night--the laundry and such, also a store trip for some items I desperately needed (apples!) As I'm shopping, I'm thinking--on a work night when the alarm is set for 4:15am, I have zero business shopping anywhere around 10pm!! But there I was. It's okay for right now and today, but at least I'm looking at things instead of denying things. And truly, I'm chipping away at denial--and that means getting an unobstructed, or at least a better view of the truth. That right there is a big part of making changes.

Yesterday's Featured Tweets:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, September 20, 2018

September 20th, 2018 Fortifies

September 20th, 2018 Fortifies

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

When I write, "I stayed well connected with exceptional support," it means I'm communicating with people each day--some who have much more experience than me, some who are just getting started, and some who are close family and friends. I learn from each person. If I'm seeking support or giving support, the bottom line effect is often the same, it strengthens my day--it fortifies my daily practice.

The times of greatest struggle are the times when I decide to "go it alone." That natural inclination is interesting when I think about it, born from the "I got this" mindset--or a combination of that and the "they wouldn't understand or relate," mindset. Both of those mindsets aren't true. I don't "got this" and people do understand and relate. Isn't it amazing the stories we're capable of creating, believing, and living?

Today will be rather challenging-- I didn't sleep the best or long enough last night, but still--this work day demands my attention. Part of my self-care will be a refresher nap this afternoon. While I'm making this transition to a better schedule, I've had to reframe my head chatter about the occasional naps in the afternoon. Some days it's absolutely necessary. Could I survive without? Yes, certainly. I could make it through. But again, self-care--very important.

Tonight is the action plan portion of the 4-day, 4-hour goal intensive workshop I'm co-facilitating with Life Coach Gerri. It's really helping me identify some key things that will help me as I move toward the goals I visualize accomplishing. A part of that is crafting a better schedule to go along with this daily practice. Writing in the morning instead of at night is just one action in this process.

Have an amazing day!!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

September 19th, 2018 One Of Those Days

September 19th, 2018 One Of Those Days

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Last night was all about obstacles in the special workshop I'm co-facilitating with Life Coach Gerri. It felt nice to share about mine--past and present. I didn't sleep very well last night and considering the schedule I've created this week, that's not a good thing! This is one of those days when an afternoon nap will be a critically important element of my plan.

I'm keeping today's edition--at least what I'm writing this morning, short-- opting to post a couple of excerpts. This first excerpt comes from February 2009. I totally forgot about The Great Escape. The second excerpt comes from November 2017.

From February 20th, 2009: The Great Escape-
For too many years I felt imprisoned by my obesity. I guess I always realized that there was a way to escape, but the escape plan seemed too unlikely. Maybe impossible is the word. Maybe not impossible, I mean, really I knew it was possible, but escaping was just something I dreamed about and talked about when no one was looking or listening.

Like a prisoner behind bars, I just accepted that there were things I couldn't do as a 500-pound man, things I probably never would do, or so I thought.

I tried to escape several times, but I allowed my emotions, my fears, and my habits to drag me back like guard dogs at the gate. And just as an escapee gets extra time, I'd get extra pounds after every unsuccessful attempt.

Escaping from the prison of obesity forever isn't something that can be done without careful planning, understanding, and opening your mind to learn. Writing about my feelings and experiences every day and trying to grasp a thorough understanding of what hasn't worked and why, and what can work and why, is like studying the blueprints and guard assignments of the prison.

As I go from 505 pounds to a healthy weight, I'm breaking down every obstacle that stands in the way. What's amazing is, some of those obstacles, the psychological hang-ups--have lost their power over me like a guard giving a prisoner a wink and looking the other way.

And when I tell people “you can do this too,” it's like we're a group of prisoners planning our great escape. The teamwork and accountability to each other is a key element in seeing daylight here.

Unfortunately, not everyone will make it out this time. Some will get caught by emotions, stress, and a deep seeded belief that escaping is nearly impossible. But for those of us who do, our letters and stories of hope from the outside can serve to inspire the imprisoned and help them understand the blueprints and guard assignments a little better for future attempts.

I've been the one caught by the guards so many times. And when I would settle back in my cell, I'd just accept it for a little while, forgetting about the freedom others speak of, not wanting to hear about what was possible...just focusing on what I perceived as nearly impossible.

I was waiting for the right time to make my run.

Then one day I realized that I had to escape now or else die too young within those stone walls. I didn't have time to wait for “the right time” to magically happen. My time had to be now regardless of the emotional and psychological hurdles that stood in the way.

I'm navigating this escape plan with guidance from those that have gone before me. I'm always studying past escape attempts and analyzing where and why they failed. I can see daylight from here my friend, and it looks so good it makes me want to cry tears of joy.

Let's go for it!

November 10th, 2017: Bigger Points
This blog means so much to me and I'm so grateful for what it's brought me over the years. I guess I'm feeling a little nostalgic tonight. It's been an amazing 9 years. It's become a big part of my daily "rails of support" even on days when I don't have much to say--no weight loss philosophy or personal epiphanies to share--there's plenty of that stuff in the archives, and I'm certainly not done sharing in these pages--but, even on a day like today, to simply give thanks for this day--and for all I've been given--and just be-- just be okay--is a blessing to me.

I could write details about the maneuvering I've done and the choices made to keep the plan intact--but those things aren't the biggest points. I could share about the obstacles and challenges--and that old pull to dive into the food in pursuit of something it doesn't contain...oh yes--I could write 50,000 words on that topic... but not tonight--because it isn't the point.

Acceptance, embrace, peace, and calm. Those are the bigger points.

I wish those things for anyone and everyone as they work toward finding their own unique "You Plan." It's a fragile thing, those things because they require daily practice--and they do because they're not an automatic-guaranteed type deal. Anyway-- I said no philosophy or epiphanies tonight, so I'll stop now.

This is a diary--and I can share whatever I desire--whatever I need to share. I don't know. 

Maybe I'm missing my little brother tonight. Perhaps I'm thinking about my dad, whom I haven't spoken to in some time-- or maybe the sadness on mom's face as she kissed her sister goodbye-- a sadness she carried back to her room when I took her back tonight-- I don't know. 

Maybe nostalgic wasn't the right word. I don't know. For whatever reason, just feeling emotional tonight. I'm feeling it. I'm not eating it. And considering my years of experience with the fruitless pursuit of emotional eating, that's one thing I'll consider a miracle.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

September 18th, 2018 Don't Know

September 18th, 2018 Don't Know

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Good morning! I woke with a grateful and optimistic attitude. I've discovered how, when I practice visiting my gratitude list, things go better--I feel better.

Creating my vision board for the goal intensive workshop I'm doing with Life Coach Gerri has been a really good thing for me to see. It's more than a "dream board," it's a positive reminder of the goals I'm very capable of accomplishing with a committed action plan, an action plan that's broken down into doable steps and actions each day, an open mind for learning, and patience for the process.

When I'm trying something new--anything really, my brain will often try to hijack the actions needed, replacing them with doubt or alternative ways of creating the outcome I desire. I guess it does that as a"I know what to do" type of response. But honestly, when it comes to growth, accomplishing certain goals on my list, and any kind of change required to move in that direction, I clearly don't know, or I would have already done it. An open mind to new-to-me techniques and being okay with not needing to know "the how," is critically important. If I do the actions, the how reveals itself along the way.

The first night of the goal intensive went really well. Tonight it's all about obstacles! Oh my, it's going to be a good night.

Work has been intense lately for various reasons. I'm practicing a diligence at the studio--a focus that's on a level I haven't had in some time because right now is a critical time. It's important for me to compartmentalize my energy each day. When I'm "on the clock," I must be productive and time managed. This tighter focus has helped me see where I can apply this practice in other areas of my life.

Anyway-- I better get going. Another day is in front of me!!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, September 17, 2018

September 17th, 2018 Productive

September 17th, 2018 Productive

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Gerri and I had a very productive work session yesterday as we continue to prepare for this week's goal intensive teleconference line workshop. There's still room for you! Email me right away if you want details on how to join us! It's simple. transformation.road@gmail.com

Gerri coached me years ago through the process of writing my book, Transformation Road, and also at several points along the way over the last ten years. I'm very grateful she's coming out of retirement for this special event! It's fast-- 4-days and 4-hours, but it will be powerful!

I spent some time last evening with mom and Noah. Mom and I made the trip to pick up little man for dinner and a store trip. It wasn't a long outing but it was quality time together. Quality over quantity! He's growing up incredibly fast. Every time we get together with him we notice signs of his continued learning. 

We dined at a Mexican place--and for me and my food plan, it works very well. I prepare chicken fajita and sour cream crunchy tacos--oh my, always satisfying, delicious, and easy to log into MyFitnessPal! 

Today will be an involved workday at the studio before tonight's workshop. I have a couple of special projects to complete plus a midday taping of the cable access TV show I host for the school district. Staying on point with my schedule will be today's challenge with appointments at 11am, noon, and 2pm. My big goal today will be an exercise session this afternoon after work and before tonight's workshop.

My food plan is set, my morning foundational routine is complete, and I'm ready to make this day work well.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, September 16, 2018

September 16th, 2018 Things Change

September 16th, 2018 Things Change

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

On September 15th, 2008, the same day I started this blog, Lehman Brothers went bankrupt. It was the financial crash of 2008. I discovered this yesterday and found this shared date rather interesting. That day was a pivotal day for many people.

I thought about the choices and behaviors creating 505 pound Sean and how on September 15th, 2008, it all arrived at a pivotal moment. Lehman Brothers, I'm sure, gave much more thought to their choices and behaviors leading up to that day. The road to recovery for me (and the economy) hasn't been a straight line but the trends in the charts and graphs look very promising ten years later!

I guess it's all an example of how there's hope for better days. No matter how deep, no matter how lost, no matter how disconnected we feel, there's hope.

Things change. The truth asserts itself until change happens with or without our intent or action. Usually, if the change occurs without our intent or action, it isn't pleasant or even the least bit desirable. This is where my mantra, slogan, or whatever you want to call it, came from: "I'm Choosing Change Before Change Chooses Me."  Because let's be honest, change is constant--it's coming one way or the other, right?

I sincerely enjoyed every single congratulation and word of support I received about yesterday's 10th Anniversary, or, uh-"blogiversary," as it's called in the blogging world. Thank you!! I'm grateful, humble, and I appreciate your kindness!

I'm working on the goal intensive workshop today with Life Coach Gerri. I'm so excited about her coming out of retirement to work with me again. She's one of the best and that's what makes this workshop extra-special. I'm co-facilitating and co-presenting, however, I'm also a student of this workshop. I'll be working on my goals right alongside you.  If you're interested in this four day-four hour goal intensive workshop, let me know as soon as possible so we can get you registered and ready for tomorrow evenings first session!
The 1-hour workshop sessions start on a secure conference call line at 7pm central/8pm eastern/5pm pacific each night this week, Monday, Tuesday, skip Wednesday, then again Thursday, and Friday.
Here's a promotional video!

If you're ready to once and for all take action toward smashing obstacles and accomplishing goals, I want you in this 4-day/4-hour workshop!
Text/call with questions: 580-491-2228 Or email me: transformation.road@gmail.com

Okay! I'm ready for a good Sunday. I plan on doing a little bit of work at the studio--then working a good amount of time with Gerri on the workshop, and then, I'll be spending some time with mom this evening for dinner and a store trip.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, September 15, 2018

September 15th, 2018 10th Anniversary

September 15th, 2018 10th Anniversary

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Today is a special day for me. It was ten years ago today, at 505 pounds, when I sat down to write my Day 1 post. The final sentences of that first post highlighted the goal of this project: "I look forward to this blog. I believe it will help me stay on track and maybe along the way it will inspire someone else to stay on track." After ten years, I believe it has and continues to support this goal.

I'm full of gratitude, grateful for the detours along the way--I'm very grateful for the lessons and experiences I had to live in order to learn. What was and remains critical in order to understand the process, dynamics, and deeper things, is an open mind, a humble heart, and a deep respect for the fragile nature of it all. I don't "got this."

There are some things in my life where I can say, "I got this," I mean, hand me a microphone, show me a studio or a stage, and trust, "I got this," but this continued recovery is NOT one of the things "I got." 

All I have is what I choose to do today. By the grace of God, I embrace an imperfect daily practice that helps keep me well. Can it be better? Oh my, yes, without a doubt. Better than better, in my opinion, is the pursuit remaining consistent. If I remain consistently calm, humble, and open to learning new things along the way, I have the best chance for another day. Another ten years? Who knows? That will depend on my willingness. Today, I'm willing. And that's all we have, right?

I was driving back from my location broadcast at the county fair the other night, especially paying attention to my speed--making sure I wasn't going too fast. I was going too fast two nights before when a trooper flashed his blue and red at me as an unspoken/unwritten warning to slow down. This warning kept me at a safe speed Thursday evening on my return trip. It likely saved my life, you see...

As I approached a hill on the highway, a pickup truck--like a blur, topped the hill in my lane. This reckless driver was passing on a hill in an obvious no-passing zone. The driver was essentially playing with his life and the lives of others. I didn't have time to react. We barely escaped the head-on collision by a fraction of a second. Had I not been flashed by that trooper on Tuesday evening, I might have been traveling an extra 5 mph, and likely, it would have been a very different consequence.

My heart was racing and I was immediately out of breath as I slowed to well below the speed limit as if I couldn't process what had just happened unless I slowed down. If I hadn't been scheduled to make opening announcements for a special arts and humanities concert fifteen minutes later, I would have pulled over completely. My first thought was, what if? What if I would have been traveling just a touch faster?? Who would the trooper contact first? What impact would it have made on the people I love and the ones that love me? I was shaken, stirred into a swirling of thoughts the likes of which I hadn't given the time of day for a very long time. Was this God getting my attention? Mysterious ways, right?

Was this it? Was it all over? And if so, could I be proud of what I left behind? In those thoughts, I also thought about all of the dreams and goals that almost died right along with me on that busy stretch of Oklahoma two-lane highway.

All we have is today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't guaranteed. We know this to be true. Today's practice is all I got. Sometimes we pick up yesterday like it's a club used to beat ourselves--and that focus takes us out of today, and that fact dramatically decreases our chance for a better tomorrow. Still...

I believe in hope for the future, I believe in dreams coming true, I believe in obstacles as big as boulders in front of long-time goals, being crushed into dust and blown away with the winds of change.

That near-collision the other night and this ten year blog anniversary today have got me thinking about important things. What do I want to do? What goals do I want to accomplish? How can I move forward in positive ways while keeping an embrace on the ever-evolving daily practice that helps keep me well? These are important questions.

You know, I was wondering how I could put together today's blog post--and I thought about a million pictures from over the years, but nah-- those dramatic "before and now" pictures don't tell the complete story. Besides, those pictures are all throughout the archives of this ten-year-old blog. Reducing the last ten years to a simple "before and now" shot would only serve to cheapen the deeper experience because...

The physical transformation is great but it isn't the best and it doesn't "fix" everything. The biggest transformations along this road are harder to see--they run deeper. The evidence of their existence is found in the daily actions/practice we choose to make important.




















As I stepped onto the platform of that thrill ride last night, some old thoughts started playing in my brain. The seats are small. Would I fit? In many ways, my brain still registers a much larger person. But that's okay because my brain knows that in many ways, I'm still the same Sean I was ten years ago today, at 505 pounds, so I can see how it might get confused.



















The click. Hearing the harness click in place and sitting in that small contoured seat quite comfortably was a nice reminder of how far I've come over the years but also of the diligence I must practice each day to keep me well.

I thank God for his grace and guidance even when my ego and pride try to get in the way and take credit. Because trust me, my friend, it isn't "all me." 

Thank you for your incredible support over the years. None of us do it alone. I'm not alone and you're not alone.

Those Day 1 words mean a lot to me, "...and maybe along the way it will inspire someone...," I hope this blog in some way, at some point, has inspired you.

You have inspired me.

With sincere gratitude and a humble heart and mind,
Thank you,
Sean

Friday, September 14, 2018

September 14th, 2018 Good Change

September 14th, 2018 Good Change

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Making the transition from night writing to early morning writing might seem like a canceling trade-off if I'm only considering time. I believe it will ultimately be better for me for more reasons than just the time factor. I'm exploring this idea from a deeper perspective. I'm most inspired in the early mornings, instead of exhausted from a super long day. Yesterday was a prime example. I left my apartment before 6am and didn't get home until 9:30pm. Sitting down to write this blog after a long and tiring day changes my perspective and pursuit. In that tired state, I'm looking for the quickest and easiest way to complete a task. This blog, especially considering the powerful impact it's made on my life, deserves better than that. I deserve better than that. How will this new writing schedule affect this blog's content? Good question! I'm willing to find out by consistently giving it a go! If after a few weeks it's just not working out--then okay, I gave it a try. I have a feeling it's going to be a good change.

I've completed my morning foundational routine and I'm feeling very positive. I have a late afternoon broadcast from the largest county fair in the state of Oklahoma. As an on-air stunt, I've volunteered (I'm nuts) to ride "The Freak Out" while broadcasting the entire experience start to finish. Will I cry like a baby? Will I scream? Will I get sick? Will I confidently and calmly describe the thrill ride experience with the kind of unbound enthusiasm that will inspire more ticket sales?? Uh-- we'll find out. Get the KPNC listening app if you want to hear it LIVE at around 5:50pm central/6:50pm eastern/3:50pm pacific.

My food is planned for today. I have the "three W's" covered--What I need, Where I need, When I need... It's set. I have some flexibility in there in case I find some on-plan options at the fair tonight. I plan on having my grandson for a little while after this afternoon's broadcast. I'll take him around the fair--and we might eat there. Living life on life's terms, right? Oh yeah.

We're just days away from the start of the four-day/four-hour workshop intensive with Life Coach Gerri. It starts this Monday, September 17th at 7pm central/8pm eastern/5pm pacific and continues at the same time on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday next week. It's called, "So, Now What?" This workshop is about identifying a goal you really desire and once and for all, breaking it down and making it happen. Life Coach Gerri and I will present this special intensive. It's going to be a powerful experience. When you're talking about overcoming obstacles that have kept us from living the goals and dreams we desire--it gets very real, very fast. Request your sign-up registration directly from me, today! Email me: transformation.road@gmail.com or call/text: 580-491-2228. You can also call or text Gerri with questions: 407-274-0519 Click the workshop flyer below to enlarge the image.























Click image to enlarge


 

















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean





Copyright © 2008-2018 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.