Sunday, July 21, 2019

July 21st, 2019 Variety

July 21st, 2019 Variety

Yesterday was a 5-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal again (a streak is going!), I melted through a good walk last night, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I grabbed another watermelon at my broadcast yesterday. The melon lately has been incredible! Some say it's the heat that makes eating it exceptionally because it's a cool and refreshing fruit. That--may be a tiny bit of that for me. Mostly, for me, it's the natural sugar content. No refined sugar has been a non-negotiable part of my food plan for over five years now, so I find my "sweet" in the fruit I enjoy. I sometimes overdo it, I'll admit--I mean, I've put together some pretty big fruit bowls for my last food of day--staying within budget, but still, too much, and I know it--but I justify it because it is fruit. The natural evolution of my food plan is trending toward keeping most of the fruit in the morning and less right before bed. I think my body would appreciate that change.

I'll be picking up mom later today for our weekly outing. I must pick a different restaurant this evening. I've enjoyed my sour cream chicken fajita tacos for dinner two nights in a row, I can't do a third! I must have variety!
One of my favorite go-to options-so good!












One of the things I've made very important over the last ten-plus years has been making sure I enjoy the food within my food plan boundaries. If I don't enjoy something, it's out. The "test" for me on anything I include in my food plan always comes down to the behaviors surrounding a particular food. If I can enjoy something without the trigger of "more more more," --and I can simply eat it for what it is, good food, without feeling compelled to turn it into "a fixer," "therapist," or "escape," then it stays in the food plan. The food plan evolves and my personal trigger list must always be open and willing to add new items based on a most self-honest evaluation.

The refined sugar-free Quest protein bars are things I occasionally use on certain days when it makes sense. I don't care for the different flavor names of these bars because they're always named something that would normally be considered a trigger for me. I don't do "look-a-likes," meaning my brain can't handle sugar-free versions of popular sweets, namely cookies and ice cream. Just can't. The Quest bars are an example of an item in my food plan that's right on the outer edges of acceptable for me. Again, comes down to my behavior surrounding the food item. I've never once been compelled to eat a second Quest bar in one sitting. And I've never felt compelled toward off-plan choices after consuming one of these. I keep some boundaries though, only buying them one at a time, so I'm not keeping them stocked at home. However, if these ever become a food item I can't handle in a responsible way---then onto the trigger list, it'll go.

It's a very personal and unique thing, the food plan. Each of us must find our own combination that helps open up measures of peace, calm, and consistency.     

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com

Saturday, July 20, 2019

July 20th, 2019 Too Long

July 20th, 2019 Too Long

Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal again (a streak is going!), and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Courtney and I had an amazing time together last night. We enjoyed dinner and conversation, just the two of us, and it was perfect. It had been a full two years since we've made that happen. That's too long!

My broadcast went well today from the grocery store. I was able to grab a few things, including an avocado that I'll be excitedly using in the morning on my Ezekiel toast!

Keeping this edition short this evening. Headed out for exercise and then a visit with mom! I'm looking forward to writing more tomorrow morning.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com

Friday, July 19, 2019

July 19th, 2019 Slipstreaming

July 19th, 2019 Slipstreaming

Yesterday was a 5-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal again (a streak is going!), I had a great elliptical workout at the RecPlex, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

My workout yesterday felt amazing. I'm naturally a multi-tasker--but during workout time, I've got to turn that off. In order to truly enjoy the experience, I have to focus on only two things, the music, and the movement. When I do that--when I do a mini-meditation going in--and prepare myself to fully invest my body and mind, it's incredible from start to finish. My enthusiasm becomes streamlined by the passing music, kind of like a race car driver squeezing into the slipstream of another vehicle thereby reducing their aerodynamic drag. The music carries me through the workout. I've listened to podcasts before or something super inspirational while exercising--but I don't want to think in those moments--I usually close my eyes, keep moving, and allow myself to get lost in the music, almost in a trance-like state. I'm pretty sure I look like a lunatic on the elliptical, but I don't care.

Today was a good workday. I stayed on point with one task after another and got out of there at a decent time. I haven't been napping lately, but I grabbed one today--and it was good. I'm having a special birthday dinner out with my youngest daughter, Courtney, tonight. She turns 26 tomorrow! How is that possible?? I don't know. We're planning it late because it's one of the few windows of opportunity she has being a full-time working mom of three precious little ones! I don't remember the last time we had a chance to enjoy dinner together, just the two of us. It'll be great!





































It seems like just yesterday when we were cheesing it up for the camera. Thirteen turns into twenty-six too fast.

The "I'm Choosing Change" wristband with "Before Change Chooses Me" imprinted on the inside, will be available from my new website that's coming within a month or so (It's in the design phase)--however, you can get one early if you desire!

Send an email with your request: transformation.road@gmail.com and I'll send you a direct PayPal invoice for the $15 charge and then personally ship yours right away! It's a powerful reminder every single day--connecting us with our "why" as it helps keep a positive measure of awareness and mindfulness in place. It's certainly doing good things for my personal awareness each day.

A colleague of mine was playfully giving me a hard time about the $15 price on these. I assure you, after shipping charges (nearly $4 US, $9 to Canada and other international destinations) and the cost of the band itself, plus the time and effort it takes to personally fulfill the orders, I'm not getting rich on these! The value of this wristband is in the mind of the wearer. If it can be a daily awareness/mindfulness tool, providing a measure of inspiration and motivation, then--what's it worth?

"I'm Choosing Change" wristbands are popping up all over the place!
Deb is Choosing Change on a bike in Valparaiso, Indiana! 






















Dede in D.C. is Choosing Change in the kitchen!
























Michael Choosing Change at the gym in Las Vegas!
























Caryl Choosing Change at the Salon in Moriarty, New Mexico!

























Diane is Choosing Change in Long Beach, California!
















Kelleen is Choosing Change in Claremore, Oklahoma!
-with a temporary homemade version
-since I mailed hers to the wrong address! 


























Mere is Choosing Change right down the road
in Ponca City, Oklahoma!

























Cathy Choosing Change at work in Hammond, Indiana!















Me! Choosing Change at the RecPlex!



















My weekend looks not half bad. I have a location-broadcast from the grocery store where we broadcast at least once or sometimes twice a month. I'll be working and shopping simultaneously, hence the multitasking thing from earlier.

Have an amazing Friday night! I'm off to enjoy dinner out with my daughter!



Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com

Thursday, July 18, 2019

July 18th, 2019 The Year 2052

July 18th, 2019 The Year 2052

Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal (8th day in a row), and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Day three without any further contact from the gentleman who sent the threatening message directed at me the other day. That's a good thing. I don't like constantly worrying about someone who's suffering from mental illness and having delusional thoughts about me. Everywhere I go, I'm scanning the environment, looking at people--uhg, it's not fun. But it's better--nothing new is a good thing. His pattern with these messages in the past was to go on and on--and he's not doing that.

Anyway! It's already Thursday--my goodness, this week is flying by! It's been a great week despite the unsettling stuff. I'm on a roll with my water intake and I'm about to hit the gym again for another workout. I've been taking extra care and attention with my food plan of late, too. I do my best to practice that each new day, but when emotions and stress come along, that's when I must become "next-level" diligent with my daily practice.

Sometimes, I think it's very easy for anyone reading this diary to get the incorrect impression that I somehow have this stuff "all figured out." I don't. And I never will. All I have for today is a willingness to wake up and practice a plan that helps keep me well. I could give it all back tomorrow if I decided to simply flip on the auto-pilot switch and walk away. My auto-pilot would take me directly to places I don't want to go. I don't want to give it all back, ever. There's too much beautiful-sweet freedom that comes from this daily practice of calm and intentional actions.

I don't want chaos and the pursuit isn't perfection. The pursuit is toward the middle. As I recently wrote here, the middle is where life lives. Pausing each day and doing things that interrupt the patterns that are so deeply ingrained inside of me is paramount for the survival of my future self.

And speaking of my "future self," several of us were messing with the FaceApp thing today at the studio. It's ridiculously freaky. If I'm blessed enough to make it to the year 2052, this is what it's determined I'll look like at eighty years old:



















A lot of people are freaking out about it being an app that has access to your photos. I'm not too worried about that. If somewhere in a Moscow office building, the people behind this app are pouring through my photo files, Maybe they'll find a few meal ideas. I sure hope they like avocados!

Oh, speaking of avocados, I'm on day three without any. Uhg! I'm in an avocado drought! The store I frequent has the price way too high for me--and the other stores I shop has them priced a little more reasonable, but they're bright green and hard as a rock. I plan on buying some and being patient. But still, I'm a couple days away, at least, from getting my avocado fix!

Okay--I need to hit publish on this and head out to the gym very soon for a good elliptical workout.

I hope you're having a fantastic Thursday! 



Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

July 16th, 2019 Unsettling

July 16th, 2019 Unsettling

Today was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal (8th day in a row), and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I was planning some exercise tonight, after dinner and visit with mom, but I'm opting to take this evening off. It's been kind of an unsettling day. My morning started with a fairly threatening message from a clearly mentally ill listener who, because he believes I'm communicating directly and personally with him in some kind of code, believes I've somehow ruined his life. This isn't the first message or interaction with this guy. It started about four years ago when he started showing up at location broadcasts. My mistake back then was trying to speak in rationale terms with him--and that doesn't work when someone is seriously mentally ill. He became angry. His messages had stopped, in fact, today's message was the first in more than a year. The authorities were notified today. We've kept tabs on him over the years and at times he seems well, holding a job and seeming of sound mind. I hope he gets the help and medication he needs. Mental illness is a sad, scary, but treatable thing, in most cases. At least now, if he shows up, he'll be arrested. Oh, and one more thing--if you know my mom personally, please do not mention this to her in the slightest. She would worry herself sick. She doesn't need that.

Anyway...what else... I've been having a very enjoyable time with my food plan of late. I actually had tostadas for lunch today. I took a good long break on those after eating them almost every weekday for a very long time. They were good! I've enjoyed preparing a variety of dinner combinations lately, too. I knew from Day 1 in the fall of 2008, if this was going to be something long-term and sustainable, I must always enjoy my food plan. I have some non-negotiable boundaries in the no-refined sugar and I maintain an occasionally evolving trigger food list, but if it's on my plate, I love it. I don't believe in eating something I don't like just because someone says it's good for me or it's the latest thing. I truly believe the better plan for me is making sure that what I do eat are things I enjoy. There's no dread in my food plan. There's no reluctance or choking something down as a means to an end. I do miss my grill. I've got to replace it soon. It wasn't spiders in the pipes, by the way, as suggested by a few. I literally used it until the pipes rusted away from their burner connections. The search is on for another, perhaps smaller, affordable one.

I had a good visit with mom tonight. I can't say enough great things about the nursing staff where she lives. They're giving her extra special care each and every day--and it shows. Mom and I visited and occasionally turned our attention for a laugh or two courtesy of Everybody Loves Raymond and Two and A Half Men on TV Land. Mom loves that channel. When I'm walking toward her room and I'm hearing her laugh from down the hall, it's usually a sitcom on TV Land lighting her up. The nurse came in to check her vitals and blood sugar while I was there--everything looked good, still a little high on the blood sugar but much improved from where it's been lately.

The "I'm Choosing Change" wristband with "Before Change Chooses Me" imprinted on the inside, will be available from my new website that's coming within a month or so (It's in the design phase)--however, you can get one early if you desire!

Send an email with your request: transformation.road@gmail.com and I'll send you a direct PayPal invoice for the $15 charge and then personally ship yours right away! It's a powerful reminder every single day--connecting us with our "why" as it helps keep a positive measure of awareness and mindfulness in place. It's certainly doing good things for my personal awareness each day.

In the coming days, I'll share some Choosing Change wristband pics from people who are wearing theirs daily!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com

Monday, July 15, 2019

July 15th, 2019 Truly Made A Difference

July 15th, 2019 Truly Made A Difference

Sunday and today were 5-star days: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal (6th and 7th days in a row), I completed a solid 30-minute elliptical workout both days, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I'm as surprised as anybody about getting four elliptical workouts completed in the last five days. I'm really connecting with it in ways that help me remember the therapeutic benefits. It certainly goes beyond the physical. Wearing the "I'm Choosing Change" wristband has truly made a difference in my resolve and daily awareness.

It's late--so instead of writing too much more, it's a good time for an excerpt from the archives--The following is from November 2014:

Processing emotions and allowing them to run their course without running for cover under a blanket of food is a very difficult thing for someone like me. It's never perfect but with practice and intentional actions, changing the pattern is possible.

My emotional development was stunted at an early age when I developed a dependency on food to buffer my emotions. For me, the answer wasn't to feel the emotions and work through them, processing the natural stages of the emotion. It was different. The routine was simple: Feel the onset of my changing emotional state--then eat, eat and eat some more, until the emotions subsided, or I forgot just how overwhelming they initially felt. And if I didn't feel better, then maybe another helping of whatever would do the trick. 

The distraction from the emotions during the joy of eating, followed by the natural effects of time on the emotions, meant I would actually feel better. I was convinced it was the food that made it all less challenging. Isn't providing a little relief what "comfort" food is all about? "Here, eat this, you'll feel better."

I never allowed my emotions to process in a healthy way without an all-you-can-eat interruption. Instead of helping me work through emotions, this quickly developed reflex was in-effect, stopping my natural emotional development in its tracks. The food gave me an illusion of being okay while creating an emotional deficit with each occurrence.  It was very much like emotional trading. Let me borrow the illusion that I'm all better today--and I'll try to figure out how to pay for the pain some other time--just not right now, I'm eating. It's a heavy price. For me, it meant spending twenty years near, at or above 500 pounds.

Then I lost 275 pounds. Then I maintained for a year and a half. Then I faced big emotions again. Then I hit the "escape into isolation" button and ate my way to gaining back over half, all but 111 pounds.

I had zero practice at allowing emotions to take their natural course. While I did lose weight successfully and maintain for a while, it wasn't because I had learned how to properly feel and process emotions. I enjoyed the initial success because I built up an incredible support and accountability system. And it was my immaturity in dealing with emotions that created deficits anyway, and these eventually get balanced one way or another--usually in the form of holding me back or flat out destroying anything good or potentially good, that comes along.

Allowing the emotions to run their course isn't easy. But I can honestly say that's exactly what I've been doing lately. I've felt things I didn't want to feel. I tighten my grip around the fundamentals of extraordinary care in the background by reaching out more for support and paying close attention to my behavior with food...and in the foreground of life, I allow myself to feel without buffers, without defenses--I just let it be, let it feel--let it run its course, and let it go.

Suddenly, I realize feeling these emotions isn't the end of the world. It's actually the pathway to new beginnings and better days where I'm not held back. It's an entryway into a healthier existence where good and potentially good is allowed to flourish.

It was a long day today. I battled long lines at Walmart in order to grab a few things I needed after work, then I headed home--carried everything upstairs, put it all away, then I sat in my recliner and cried. 

I cried the most cleansing cry I've ever experienced. And it felt amazing to let it out. I felt it, it was exhausting. And at the same time, it was the most natural and healthy relief, ever. It was cathartic. I just sat there afterward, letting it dry and feeling like a weight had been lifted.



















The "I'm Choosing Change" wristband with "Before Change Chooses Me" imprinted on the inside, will be available from my new website that's coming within a month or so (It's in the design phase)--however, you can get one early if you desire! Send an email with your request: transformation.road@gmail.com and I'll send you a direct PayPal invoice for the $15 charge and then personally ship yours right away! I shipped some today and I'd love to send you yours! It's a powerful reminder every single day--connecting us with our "why" and helping keep a positive measure of awareness and mindfulness in place. It's certainly doing good things for my personal awareness each day.

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com

Sunday, July 14, 2019

July 14th, 2019 Made It Easy

July 14th, 2019 Made It Easy

Yesterday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal (5th day in a row--soon a new daily goal is in order), and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Yesterday was a big day. Plans with Noah and a trip with mom to Stillwater for a family get-together was on the schedule. We made it all work well.

The afternoon stage production of Beauty and The Beast was very well done and professional, but for whatever reason--it just wasn't clicking with my six-year-old grandson. We tried! This was the full Broadway version, so it was longer and the themes were well ahead of his understanding. So, I get it! He wanted to leave early, so we did. What Noah really wanted to do yesterday was watch Toy Story 4; he even brought along his new favorite toy, Forky.

Mom was ready to go when we arrived shortly before 5pm. The family gathering at the big Chinese super-buffet was a good one. A lot of family members showed up, some we rarely get a chance to see, so the visiting was great. As far as the food, for me, I was already prepared with a plan. Normally, I can navigate whatever place the group settles on--it isn't an issue or even mentioned. When the "star of the show" is no longer the food, and instead it's centered on the people and conversations around the table, it changes things in a wonderful way. Anyway, I know my food plan boundaries and I don't mind asking for what I need. But this place was too much with too little options for me. I made it easy--opted to focus on visiting with family members with an eye for my meal a little later.

It wasn't necessarily a challenge--but one thing that was interesting was preparing Noah's plate and since mom was in a wheelchair, preparing hers. It required a few trips to the buffet line. If anything, it served as a reminder of how things used to be for me when food was all that really mattered. I know how all of that stuff tastes--I also know how being "in the food" completely robbed me of so many wonderful life experiences over the years. Feelings of deprivation or wanting have a very difficult time occurring when you're clear on the honest terms of the transaction. 

The after dinner plan was truly adventurous. Well, kinda. Noah and I took mom to her sister's place, got her settled in--I enjoyed my meal (see Instagram post below), then Noah, Forky, and I were off to do what Noah has wanted to do for the last two weeks: Toy Story 4!! What made it adventurous was the time--it was the 9pm showing. With all new comfy, leather, "climate controlled," power-recliner seating in the movie theater, I was just hoping the two of us could stay awake! Surprisingly, we did! Noah took his Forky into the theater and placed him in the cup holder facing the movie screen. The three of us loved the movie.

It was shortly after 12:30am when we rolled mom back into her room. The nursing staff was ready with her night medicine and was asking her all about the outing. Mom clearly had a great Saturday outing. I took Noah home, too--a little after 1am. He stayed awake right up until about ten minutes before we pulled into his driveway. It might have been the Skittles during the movie fueling his energy. I walked back into my place at 1:40am--just wiped out! But happy and so glad it was a great day.

I'm taking it slow and easy today. I slept in fairly well. I do have some things to work on--and I'm planning a good workout at the RecPlex later. My morning routine was completed first thing and I've already enjoyed a good on-plan breakfast (see Instagram post below). I'm making today a really good one.
We love acting silly together!
 


















Loaded and ready for a great evening!

















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean

If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!

Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com





Copyright © 2008-2019 Sean A. Anderson

The Daily Diary of a Winning Loser. All rights reserved.