Day 486
Evolving Taste and I Must Share This Message of Freedom
I have no idea what exactly combined this morning to make me ill, the eggs, the fruit (can't imagine), the coffee, who knows. Whatever it was completely zapped me today with a severe upset stomach and other undesirable symptoms. Second time in as many weeks in fact. It wasn't long after my show and some production that I was out for the day.
I didn't hit my 1800 calories today, just couldn't for obvious reasons, but I did reach 1400 before the day finished. I grilled some chicken last night and had an entire can of green beans. And get this: The last two times I've had green beans, it has been without cheese! I'm finally growing up! Isn't that nice? I most always melt at least 70 calories worth of American cheese in my green beans, but not the other day when mom was here, and not last night. And you know what? It was good, not bad at all. It's amazing how I've had this lifelong dislike of vegetables, but slowly over the course of the last 486 days, my taste have evolved to include more of these previously avoided foods. Don't serve me a salad just yet, but I'm just saying—eventually, who knows? I'm open to change and taste like never before.
Remember the Tulsa World articles from almost a decade ago? You know, the ones I've written about, the articles where I resolved to lose this weight and quit smoking? I of course failed miserably to produce any results back then---and the final story reflected that dismal failure, no matter how positive I tried to spin it at the time. I had sent Jason Collington, the writer of those stories, an email telling him of my blog and progress. I just wanted him to know that I finally did it. Writing about that experience recently made me want to touch base with him and say “see---I told you I could!” Jason was impressed with the progress. And you see, Jason is no longer a staff writer at the Tulsa World, he's an editor. After reviewing this blog he has assigned their best feature writer to explore a possible 'update' story of sorts. I'll be talking with that writer on Wednesday the 20th. I certainly didn't expect that, but I will certainly not shy away from sharing my experience in hopes that it can help inspire someone facing their own journey to a better and longer life.
That's all I want to do really. I want to continue getting to where I'm headed and sharing my experiences along the way with as many as I can. A friend asked me the other day a familiar question: “Do you ever get tired of talking about weight loss?” The answer is no. Just ask my friends who have witnessed me passionately speak about the fundamentals and the complicated aspects of this journey. And I'm not talking about seminars for an organized group, I'm speaking about casual circumstances where the topic comes up, and it always comes up. I've conducted “mini-seminars” in the middle of a convenience store lobby and in the produce section of the grocery store. And don't get stuck with me in a vehicle on a road trip---just let the topic come up there---I'll talk your ear off. This is my passion. This is my future and there's nothing I can do or would want to do to change that. I can't be quiet about this freedom and what has been required of me to realize this freedom. As I continue to evolve and learn more, I'm excited about the possibilities of my transformation on many levels, especially in regard to sharing this message.
My workout tonight was short and sweet. I did my prescribed strength training exercises and two miles on the treadmill. I'll be meeting with Melissa Walden in the morning for another training session at 4:45am. I'm feeling better tonight, but still not completely well.
I sincerely appreciate your readership and support. Amber is coming in late tomorrow. She'll be here for the entire weekend. I can't wait to workout with my baby! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Day 485 Refreshing The Mix Tape In My Head and A Timely Reminder About Time
Day 485
Refreshing The Mix Tape In My Head and A Timely Reminder About Time
I went back into the archives today and read Day 327. It's the post I've read the most out of all I've written. I've probably read that nugget of self therapy twenty times. What struck me tonight was the date. I posted that on August 7th, five months ago...and since then, I've lost an average of six pounds per month. I lost 201 pounds in ten and a half months and only 31 in the last five. That's a slow down my friend. After driving myself crazy trying to analyze what changed and why such a dramatic slowdown, I had to re-visit another post even further back in the archives to remind me that it's OK. Day 189 provided this:
Time doesn't really care what we do. Time keeps moving right along like clockwork, uh, it is clockwork. No matter what we do in the next twelve months, good or bad, it's still going to be March 22, 2010 in one year. Time is a constant, that's a pretty simple statement. But it's one I really had to wrap myself around. I had to dig deep to battle my impatient personality. I finally realized that I really needed to forget about time. Time doesn't need me to worry about it, it'll keep moving right along without any help or hindrance. Instead of focusing on how much time it's going to take, I had to focus on what I needed to do each day to succeed. And then when I do take the time to notice the time, I'm happy with the progress I've made and continue to make. It's day 189 by golly, 189! I've lost over 131 pounds! That's almost three quarters of a pound a day! You can tell that I don't really pay much attention to time because on March 15th's blog I didn't mention the fact that it was exactly the sixth month mark of this journey. It totally escaped me. Will it take a year total to reach my goal? Maybe it takes another year from now? Who cares! I'll be there when I get there, then I'll look at the clock and marvel at how far I've come in such a relatively short time. I didn't grow to over 500 pounds in a year or a year and a half, but I can get to my ideal weight in that time? I guess time really is on my side huh? We've all been in a situation where we were watching the seconds tick by on a clock conveniently positioned near our face. Maybe you were in class, or in a doctors office, or at work. When you constantly focus on the clock it can feel like forever! That's why I don't. Time will do it's thing, and I'll do mine, we'll meet up later in a triumphant celebration of accomplishment.
I've plowed right down to 16.5% body fat, no wonder it's slowed to a crawl! And really---time doesn't matter. Time can sting harshly when we look at a calendar and envision what could have been had we committed ourselves to change. Oh yes-- “calendar regret.” I remember it so well from all the failed attempts of my weight loss past. I would mark up entire calendars with goal weights---all the way through the year---and then be tortured all year long as it reminded me of where I could have been but wasn't. I don't have that regret anymore. I look at the calendar and smile. The last sixteen months have been nothing short of forever life changing. Time was always on my side---I just had to stop focusing on the time. And this time, I never took the time to write out the goal weights for the entire calendar---I was too busy losing weight and feeling great to even notice. I must always remember that attitude. It's served me well.
And what was I going back to Day 327 for anyway? Just refreshing the mix tape of my mind, that's all.
I was running late this morning and that meant a crazy breakfast. I threw a frozen chicken breast on the Foreman Grill and jumped in the shower. By the time I was dressed and ready, it was ready to eat---I didn't have time to eat yet. I packed it in a sack with an apple and away I traveled through the freezing fog into radio land. I enjoyed the unconventional breakfast during the first part of my show. It was pretty good too. We're back to some egg whites with mushrooms and peppers and perhaps some oatmeal in the morning---I'm a conventional kind of guy I guess.
I came home for lunch and enjoyed some low sodium-low calorie Progresso Light soup. Ah yes---I did accept that promotional offer from General Mills. Free soup? And Progresso no less? Sign me up! I will be sharing details with you about Progresso Light Soups and a wonderful contest they have for you in the coming days. However, I probably will not accept another of these type of offers anytime soon. With Progresso it was an easy yes because I love soup and it works very well in my calorie budget. But I certainly don't want to tarnish the integrity of this blog by commercializing my message. Maybe I should have also read Day 165 while I was digging into the archives today. Anyway—Progresso Light, especially the lower sodium varieties are tremendous soups. I highly recommend them. I really do. Please consider buying them. Ok?
The soup for lunch was wonderful and after a few more hours I enjoyed a banana and another apple. Melissa is wanting me to make sure I'm consuming at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. That's a good plan, I know it is---and really, that's not that hard to do. I can't believe how many years I didn't!
I was on my way out the door for a workout at the YMCA when my text message alert went off. It was a friend asking me if I was watching the Biggest Loser. I wasn't, so I replied that I was headed to the gym for a good workout instead. I've already invested over an hour on that show---and it's so easy to get emotionally involved—so I just don't. Instead of sitting there watching and crying right along with these wonderful people (because I can relate so well), I'd rather be doing what they're doing. Working this body into shape!
I opted for the YMCA tonight instead of the fitness room downstairs. I wanted to hit that weight room good and hard---and I did. I'm going to be so sore in the morning. Most of the movements Melissa is having me do rely solely on my own body weight for resistance, which is wonderful, but I wanted access to the free weights as well. It was nice. I might have looked silly occasionally---down there doing exercises without using any weights or machines, but I don't care. I was there...and I'm going to someday own every weight in that place. Not literally “own” it, but own it---you know what I mean. After the weight room I headed up to the fitness center for some cardio. The weights and exercises already had my metabolism and heart pumping and the cardio offered a real efficient burn afterward. I did a mile on the treadmill and then jumped into the racquetball court for some one on one with the wall. I was flying high my friend. It was sweet.
Thank you for reading! I just talked with Amber and she told me she's doing wonderful and plans on updating her blog tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day she gets weighed and her body fat calculated by her wellness professor. She'll have plenty to report. She expressed to me that she just doesn't have time to blog everyday and I totally agree. Her studies and school schedule take priority. I told her to just update when she can and keep up the great work. I honestly can't remember her ever being this excited about this journey. She's pumped and it comes through in her voice. I'm so proud of her. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Refreshing The Mix Tape In My Head and A Timely Reminder About Time
I went back into the archives today and read Day 327. It's the post I've read the most out of all I've written. I've probably read that nugget of self therapy twenty times. What struck me tonight was the date. I posted that on August 7th, five months ago...and since then, I've lost an average of six pounds per month. I lost 201 pounds in ten and a half months and only 31 in the last five. That's a slow down my friend. After driving myself crazy trying to analyze what changed and why such a dramatic slowdown, I had to re-visit another post even further back in the archives to remind me that it's OK. Day 189 provided this:
Time doesn't really care what we do. Time keeps moving right along like clockwork, uh, it is clockwork. No matter what we do in the next twelve months, good or bad, it's still going to be March 22, 2010 in one year. Time is a constant, that's a pretty simple statement. But it's one I really had to wrap myself around. I had to dig deep to battle my impatient personality. I finally realized that I really needed to forget about time. Time doesn't need me to worry about it, it'll keep moving right along without any help or hindrance. Instead of focusing on how much time it's going to take, I had to focus on what I needed to do each day to succeed. And then when I do take the time to notice the time, I'm happy with the progress I've made and continue to make. It's day 189 by golly, 189! I've lost over 131 pounds! That's almost three quarters of a pound a day! You can tell that I don't really pay much attention to time because on March 15th's blog I didn't mention the fact that it was exactly the sixth month mark of this journey. It totally escaped me. Will it take a year total to reach my goal? Maybe it takes another year from now? Who cares! I'll be there when I get there, then I'll look at the clock and marvel at how far I've come in such a relatively short time. I didn't grow to over 500 pounds in a year or a year and a half, but I can get to my ideal weight in that time? I guess time really is on my side huh? We've all been in a situation where we were watching the seconds tick by on a clock conveniently positioned near our face. Maybe you were in class, or in a doctors office, or at work. When you constantly focus on the clock it can feel like forever! That's why I don't. Time will do it's thing, and I'll do mine, we'll meet up later in a triumphant celebration of accomplishment.
I've plowed right down to 16.5% body fat, no wonder it's slowed to a crawl! And really---time doesn't matter. Time can sting harshly when we look at a calendar and envision what could have been had we committed ourselves to change. Oh yes-- “calendar regret.” I remember it so well from all the failed attempts of my weight loss past. I would mark up entire calendars with goal weights---all the way through the year---and then be tortured all year long as it reminded me of where I could have been but wasn't. I don't have that regret anymore. I look at the calendar and smile. The last sixteen months have been nothing short of forever life changing. Time was always on my side---I just had to stop focusing on the time. And this time, I never took the time to write out the goal weights for the entire calendar---I was too busy losing weight and feeling great to even notice. I must always remember that attitude. It's served me well.
And what was I going back to Day 327 for anyway? Just refreshing the mix tape of my mind, that's all.
I was running late this morning and that meant a crazy breakfast. I threw a frozen chicken breast on the Foreman Grill and jumped in the shower. By the time I was dressed and ready, it was ready to eat---I didn't have time to eat yet. I packed it in a sack with an apple and away I traveled through the freezing fog into radio land. I enjoyed the unconventional breakfast during the first part of my show. It was pretty good too. We're back to some egg whites with mushrooms and peppers and perhaps some oatmeal in the morning---I'm a conventional kind of guy I guess.
I came home for lunch and enjoyed some low sodium-low calorie Progresso Light soup. Ah yes---I did accept that promotional offer from General Mills. Free soup? And Progresso no less? Sign me up! I will be sharing details with you about Progresso Light Soups and a wonderful contest they have for you in the coming days. However, I probably will not accept another of these type of offers anytime soon. With Progresso it was an easy yes because I love soup and it works very well in my calorie budget. But I certainly don't want to tarnish the integrity of this blog by commercializing my message. Maybe I should have also read Day 165 while I was digging into the archives today. Anyway—Progresso Light, especially the lower sodium varieties are tremendous soups. I highly recommend them. I really do. Please consider buying them. Ok?
The soup for lunch was wonderful and after a few more hours I enjoyed a banana and another apple. Melissa is wanting me to make sure I'm consuming at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. That's a good plan, I know it is---and really, that's not that hard to do. I can't believe how many years I didn't!
I was on my way out the door for a workout at the YMCA when my text message alert went off. It was a friend asking me if I was watching the Biggest Loser. I wasn't, so I replied that I was headed to the gym for a good workout instead. I've already invested over an hour on that show---and it's so easy to get emotionally involved—so I just don't. Instead of sitting there watching and crying right along with these wonderful people (because I can relate so well), I'd rather be doing what they're doing. Working this body into shape!
I opted for the YMCA tonight instead of the fitness room downstairs. I wanted to hit that weight room good and hard---and I did. I'm going to be so sore in the morning. Most of the movements Melissa is having me do rely solely on my own body weight for resistance, which is wonderful, but I wanted access to the free weights as well. It was nice. I might have looked silly occasionally---down there doing exercises without using any weights or machines, but I don't care. I was there...and I'm going to someday own every weight in that place. Not literally “own” it, but own it---you know what I mean. After the weight room I headed up to the fitness center for some cardio. The weights and exercises already had my metabolism and heart pumping and the cardio offered a real efficient burn afterward. I did a mile on the treadmill and then jumped into the racquetball court for some one on one with the wall. I was flying high my friend. It was sweet.
Thank you for reading! I just talked with Amber and she told me she's doing wonderful and plans on updating her blog tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day she gets weighed and her body fat calculated by her wellness professor. She'll have plenty to report. She expressed to me that she just doesn't have time to blog everyday and I totally agree. Her studies and school schedule take priority. I told her to just update when she can and keep up the great work. I honestly can't remember her ever being this excited about this journey. She's pumped and it comes through in her voice. I'm so proud of her. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Day 484 A Different Motivation and Self-Acceptance
Day 484
A Different Motivation and Self-Acceptance
Monday called and I answered with an upbeat attitude. Attitude is so important along this road, it's everything really. We've got our work cut out for us now and I know that the only way to win at this point in the journey is to buckle down and give myself a performance that makes me proud. I've already won, but you know what I mean. What I want and where I'm headed is yet to be realized. It's not an unrealistic expectation—but one that must be achieved without the pressure and worry of imminent death. What I mean is, to see my goals and dreams through---I must want it enough to push myself further because I want it, not because I'm trying to survive. It's a different motivation now. I hope that makes sense.
Breakfast this morning was a little different. I realized that I only had one egg left in the fridge. I prepared the whole egg over easy, grabbed a bowl of steel cut oats sweetened with Splenda, and sliced up a granny smith apple. Breakfast was served for 320 calories, and it was good! Getting up early enough to make breakfast a super priority is one of the biggest changes I've made to my daily routine. Even when I occasionally sleep too long, I still make sure I'm eating something for breakfast. It is a can't miss meal.
I've talked recently about my desire to have skin removal surgery at some point this year. I get very enthusiastic when I talk about it, but I wanted to make something very clear. Even if I never get that surgery, I'll be happy with my results. Seriously, I'm getting healthier than I've ever been in my entire life. And if the loose skin isn't some kind of medical problem, and it may not be, then I have nothing to be displeased about. If I figure out a way to have it, I'm sure I will at some point. But not without understanding the risk and complications of such a surgery. A full body lift is a major surgery that requires six weeks of recovery time according to information I've discovered recently. That's serious stuff.
You see, this issue of loose skin has bothered me for a long time, well before I ever started losing the weight. I actually would let the idea of the loose skin discourage me from losing weight. How crazy is that? I finally realized that losing the weight and getting healthy was way more important than worrying about the loose skin problem. This is me—and it will never be perfect even after such a surgery, and I'm OK with that. I'm thrilled just being me and being healthy. The freedom I'm experiencing now and will continue to experience in the future is the important stuff. This pursuit isn't a pursuit of perfection, it's a pursuit of good health. Perhaps I've sounded vain in my enthusiastic reeling about the surgery and sculpting the body of my dreams. But it's not that. It's this:
I've hated the way I've looked my entire life. I'll never forget the hurt feelings when I was told by a stranger that I needed to wear a bra. I was only 10 years old---and it was from that point on that I couldn't stand myself in the mirror. It didn't make me do anything about it, but I still didn't like it. As I grew larger and larger, my self-loathing grew as well. At a certain point, I told myself that I would never have a flat stomach and even if I lost the weight, I'd still be horribly out of shape. It was enough to discourage me completely. Giving up is a really sad thing. But I eventually realized that even if perfection was unreachable---my own version of perfection was in reach. I needed to lose the weight to live. It was killing me. Now that I see where I am after losing the first 231 pounds---I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I can look in the mirror and smile---I'm liking what I see for the first time ever. The idea of wanting to make it as good as I can by working out and maybe having a major surgery---isn't a vanity issue, it's simply a me issue. But make no mistake---with or without that surgery---I'm loving myself regardless. I've finally stopped being my own worst enemy. I've finally become a friend to myself. And that friend I've become accepts me completely, just as I am. My self-acceptance doesn't depend on whether or not I have skin removal surgery. I'll be “Sean-Perfect” regardless.
Hitting the fitness room tonight was good for me---but I seriously need to start scheduling workout times with Courtney, and if she's working---like tonight, then I need to call on friends instead of doing it alone. I can still get a good workout---but it's always better when you're with someone else. I'm feeling a soreness I haven't felt along this entire journey. I'm starting to work muscles that I've completely ignored before. My abs hurt. I'm not sure if my abs have ever hurt. I wasn't sure until just a little while back that I even had abdominal muscles. Yep, I have 'em. They're under there and they're not happy right now. Oh well, they have the same loose skin to get happy under! ;)
My friend Scott Hayes sent me a picture of his first egg white omelet. I've included it below. Scott writes: Tried my first egg white omelet tonight. Four egg whites, turkey, and cheese. I figured it under 250 calories and I'm so full I wish I would have just made it with three whites. Thanks for the suggestion, I see how you got hooked on them. It's just a great calorie value. The most bang for my calorie buck! Scott---hope you don't mind seeing your dinner posted on this blog!
Thank you for reading and giving me your wonderful support. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Scott has been reading about my love of egg white omelets for some time. This was his first---it looks good and filling to me---and under 250 calories with turkey and cheese. Perfect!
A Different Motivation and Self-Acceptance
Monday called and I answered with an upbeat attitude. Attitude is so important along this road, it's everything really. We've got our work cut out for us now and I know that the only way to win at this point in the journey is to buckle down and give myself a performance that makes me proud. I've already won, but you know what I mean. What I want and where I'm headed is yet to be realized. It's not an unrealistic expectation—but one that must be achieved without the pressure and worry of imminent death. What I mean is, to see my goals and dreams through---I must want it enough to push myself further because I want it, not because I'm trying to survive. It's a different motivation now. I hope that makes sense.
Breakfast this morning was a little different. I realized that I only had one egg left in the fridge. I prepared the whole egg over easy, grabbed a bowl of steel cut oats sweetened with Splenda, and sliced up a granny smith apple. Breakfast was served for 320 calories, and it was good! Getting up early enough to make breakfast a super priority is one of the biggest changes I've made to my daily routine. Even when I occasionally sleep too long, I still make sure I'm eating something for breakfast. It is a can't miss meal.
I've talked recently about my desire to have skin removal surgery at some point this year. I get very enthusiastic when I talk about it, but I wanted to make something very clear. Even if I never get that surgery, I'll be happy with my results. Seriously, I'm getting healthier than I've ever been in my entire life. And if the loose skin isn't some kind of medical problem, and it may not be, then I have nothing to be displeased about. If I figure out a way to have it, I'm sure I will at some point. But not without understanding the risk and complications of such a surgery. A full body lift is a major surgery that requires six weeks of recovery time according to information I've discovered recently. That's serious stuff.
You see, this issue of loose skin has bothered me for a long time, well before I ever started losing the weight. I actually would let the idea of the loose skin discourage me from losing weight. How crazy is that? I finally realized that losing the weight and getting healthy was way more important than worrying about the loose skin problem. This is me—and it will never be perfect even after such a surgery, and I'm OK with that. I'm thrilled just being me and being healthy. The freedom I'm experiencing now and will continue to experience in the future is the important stuff. This pursuit isn't a pursuit of perfection, it's a pursuit of good health. Perhaps I've sounded vain in my enthusiastic reeling about the surgery and sculpting the body of my dreams. But it's not that. It's this:
I've hated the way I've looked my entire life. I'll never forget the hurt feelings when I was told by a stranger that I needed to wear a bra. I was only 10 years old---and it was from that point on that I couldn't stand myself in the mirror. It didn't make me do anything about it, but I still didn't like it. As I grew larger and larger, my self-loathing grew as well. At a certain point, I told myself that I would never have a flat stomach and even if I lost the weight, I'd still be horribly out of shape. It was enough to discourage me completely. Giving up is a really sad thing. But I eventually realized that even if perfection was unreachable---my own version of perfection was in reach. I needed to lose the weight to live. It was killing me. Now that I see where I am after losing the first 231 pounds---I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I can look in the mirror and smile---I'm liking what I see for the first time ever. The idea of wanting to make it as good as I can by working out and maybe having a major surgery---isn't a vanity issue, it's simply a me issue. But make no mistake---with or without that surgery---I'm loving myself regardless. I've finally stopped being my own worst enemy. I've finally become a friend to myself. And that friend I've become accepts me completely, just as I am. My self-acceptance doesn't depend on whether or not I have skin removal surgery. I'll be “Sean-Perfect” regardless.
Hitting the fitness room tonight was good for me---but I seriously need to start scheduling workout times with Courtney, and if she's working---like tonight, then I need to call on friends instead of doing it alone. I can still get a good workout---but it's always better when you're with someone else. I'm feeling a soreness I haven't felt along this entire journey. I'm starting to work muscles that I've completely ignored before. My abs hurt. I'm not sure if my abs have ever hurt. I wasn't sure until just a little while back that I even had abdominal muscles. Yep, I have 'em. They're under there and they're not happy right now. Oh well, they have the same loose skin to get happy under! ;)
My friend Scott Hayes sent me a picture of his first egg white omelet. I've included it below. Scott writes: Tried my first egg white omelet tonight. Four egg whites, turkey, and cheese. I figured it under 250 calories and I'm so full I wish I would have just made it with three whites. Thanks for the suggestion, I see how you got hooked on them. It's just a great calorie value. The most bang for my calorie buck! Scott---hope you don't mind seeing your dinner posted on this blog!
Thank you for reading and giving me your wonderful support. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Scott has been reading about my love of egg white omelets for some time. This was his first---it looks good and filling to me---and under 250 calories with turkey and cheese. Perfect!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Day 483 This Is Still A Family Journey and An Accurate Body Fat Measurement
Day 483
This Is Still A Family Journey and An Accurate Body Fat Measurement
This entire journey, as imperfect as it's been, has still been magical. Irene started losing weight ahead of the rest of us, and then one by one we joined into a family weight losing machine. We've lost over 500 pounds as a family and it hasn't been without struggle. Irene's 140, my 231, Courtney's 80, and Amber's over 60 has been remarkable...but lately, our progress as a family unit has changed dramatically. In fact, over the last several months our momentum together has slowed to a painful crawl. I can't speak for Irene, but I know that Courtney and Amber have struggled tremendously. I'm here for them every step of the way, but they understand and appreciate that I'm not overbearing. I can't do it for them as much as I'd like. They understand that they have the power to continue what they've started and they have the comfort of knowing that I'm here for them and so is their mom, 24/7.
Courtney talked to me today about working out with me and getting back to the basics that has brought her so far already. That thrills me. And then Amber calls tonight and gave me another wonderful gift. She's tired of struggling and is choosing to change it all around! Amber even updated her blog with an exciting and heartfelt post. I knew that the time would come and she would be ready once again to commit to her transformation. I've never doubted their success and I've never tried to force these choices upon them. I've known when they're struggling, I can see it in the choices made and the attitudes displayed. But I remained quiet for good reason. I've been where they are. And I know that well intended persuasion only works if the recipient is ready to listen and take control over their choices and direction. It's just awesome to me that both my daughters are choosing to resume the progress they worked so hard to achieve---and at the same time. I invite you to read my daughter Amber's blog and if you have time, leave her some encouraging words of support. I'm so thrilled that she's so thrilled. You can find her blog by clicking this link: www.amberisdroppingit.blogspot.com
I started this Sunday by preparing Mom and me a super low calorie egg white omelet. Mom couldn't believe the low calorie count. I flavored it up big time by cooking the mushrooms and onions ahead of the egg whites. Then I used half the mozzarella I normally do for a big four egg white mushroom-onion-cheese omelet for a measly 130 calories. Wow is right! Mom was thrilled. Yesterday's breakfast, and I'm not sure I mentioned this in yesterday's post, but it was steel cut oats and fruit. Breakfast is so critical along this road, it really is important stuff. The metabolism needs it's wake up call everyday, like we're barking orders for it to start moving---and here's some fuel to get you going!
I met with Melissa Walden today so we could recalculate my body fat percentage. It's still really good, surprisingly good in fact. 16.5%. That's thrilling to me. I can remember it being well over 50% at one time in my life. 16.5%...do you realize what that means? And Melissa assured me the number was accurate. Just so you know---I had to take my shirt off in front of her---and even had to pull down my workout pants. We wanted an accurate measurement---so I had to swallow my insecurities and do it. If you only knew the mental hangup I have about taking my shirt off in front of anyone other than Irene. It's been a lifelong thing---oh, I've written about it a few times in these pages. Anyway---can you tell I'm excited? You know what this means? It means that 45.21 pounds of fat is all that remains on my body. The rest is muscle, loose skin, and bones. And not a lot of muscle. I'll lose more weight for sure---but hitting 230 is something that may only be achieved after I have skin removal surgery.
I'm prepping my mind to accept this body fat situation. What a wonderful “problem” to have, right? I know that weight training will gradually add weight in the form of muscle---and that's good. We'll see how this all progresses. I do know one thing---my before and after pictures are going to absolutely rock.
Speaking of loose skin---another blogger gave me the news, and I confirmed by calling the burn center, they do not accept skin donations any longer. It's been years since they allowed that practice. It became cost prohibitive. It's much cheaper to harvest skin from people/donors no longer living. I will pursue the insurance route by presenting the argument that excessive loose skin could cause serious infection. I'm going to need some doctors help with that argument. Regardless, I will have it done, one way or another---it will happen.
Today marks one week without cigarettes!! I'm thrilled at how the cravings are becoming less frequent and less intense. I still get them, even though my body should be over the nicotine addiction—but they pass quickly. It's just too important to stay strong and not give into my desire to light up. Everyday that passes, I'm looking forward to it becoming less and less of a struggle and more and more natural. Last night at karaoke I was surrounded by people smoking and it didn't bother me. I also noticed a guy chewing a straw. I don't know for sure, but I bet he's going through the same thing!
My workout tonight was driven and precisely what I needed. I mentioned to Melissa about how my tail bone hurts during one particular exercise and she suggested a pillow or workout pad. Wow...I can't believe I didn't figure that one out before now. A pillow made all the difference. I went through the recommended movements from Melissa for strength training and added two miles on the treadmill for cardio. The strength training alone elevates my heart rate. I can't wait to start seeing results in the form of muscles. I want guns!! And I'm going to get them by golly!
I better drop in bed. I still need to make sure I'm getting enough sleep. Thank you for reading. I hope you check out Amber's blog too. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My daughters and me before
Amber. Not sure the date of this photo. So beautiful!
Courtney. Beautiful. Again, not sure when this was taken. Beauty from their momma for sure!
The four of us. Several months ago, or at least a few. We need to update this one!
This Is Still A Family Journey and An Accurate Body Fat Measurement
This entire journey, as imperfect as it's been, has still been magical. Irene started losing weight ahead of the rest of us, and then one by one we joined into a family weight losing machine. We've lost over 500 pounds as a family and it hasn't been without struggle. Irene's 140, my 231, Courtney's 80, and Amber's over 60 has been remarkable...but lately, our progress as a family unit has changed dramatically. In fact, over the last several months our momentum together has slowed to a painful crawl. I can't speak for Irene, but I know that Courtney and Amber have struggled tremendously. I'm here for them every step of the way, but they understand and appreciate that I'm not overbearing. I can't do it for them as much as I'd like. They understand that they have the power to continue what they've started and they have the comfort of knowing that I'm here for them and so is their mom, 24/7.
Courtney talked to me today about working out with me and getting back to the basics that has brought her so far already. That thrills me. And then Amber calls tonight and gave me another wonderful gift. She's tired of struggling and is choosing to change it all around! Amber even updated her blog with an exciting and heartfelt post. I knew that the time would come and she would be ready once again to commit to her transformation. I've never doubted their success and I've never tried to force these choices upon them. I've known when they're struggling, I can see it in the choices made and the attitudes displayed. But I remained quiet for good reason. I've been where they are. And I know that well intended persuasion only works if the recipient is ready to listen and take control over their choices and direction. It's just awesome to me that both my daughters are choosing to resume the progress they worked so hard to achieve---and at the same time. I invite you to read my daughter Amber's blog and if you have time, leave her some encouraging words of support. I'm so thrilled that she's so thrilled. You can find her blog by clicking this link: www.amberisdroppingit.blogspot.com
I started this Sunday by preparing Mom and me a super low calorie egg white omelet. Mom couldn't believe the low calorie count. I flavored it up big time by cooking the mushrooms and onions ahead of the egg whites. Then I used half the mozzarella I normally do for a big four egg white mushroom-onion-cheese omelet for a measly 130 calories. Wow is right! Mom was thrilled. Yesterday's breakfast, and I'm not sure I mentioned this in yesterday's post, but it was steel cut oats and fruit. Breakfast is so critical along this road, it really is important stuff. The metabolism needs it's wake up call everyday, like we're barking orders for it to start moving---and here's some fuel to get you going!
I met with Melissa Walden today so we could recalculate my body fat percentage. It's still really good, surprisingly good in fact. 16.5%. That's thrilling to me. I can remember it being well over 50% at one time in my life. 16.5%...do you realize what that means? And Melissa assured me the number was accurate. Just so you know---I had to take my shirt off in front of her---and even had to pull down my workout pants. We wanted an accurate measurement---so I had to swallow my insecurities and do it. If you only knew the mental hangup I have about taking my shirt off in front of anyone other than Irene. It's been a lifelong thing---oh, I've written about it a few times in these pages. Anyway---can you tell I'm excited? You know what this means? It means that 45.21 pounds of fat is all that remains on my body. The rest is muscle, loose skin, and bones. And not a lot of muscle. I'll lose more weight for sure---but hitting 230 is something that may only be achieved after I have skin removal surgery.
I'm prepping my mind to accept this body fat situation. What a wonderful “problem” to have, right? I know that weight training will gradually add weight in the form of muscle---and that's good. We'll see how this all progresses. I do know one thing---my before and after pictures are going to absolutely rock.
Speaking of loose skin---another blogger gave me the news, and I confirmed by calling the burn center, they do not accept skin donations any longer. It's been years since they allowed that practice. It became cost prohibitive. It's much cheaper to harvest skin from people/donors no longer living. I will pursue the insurance route by presenting the argument that excessive loose skin could cause serious infection. I'm going to need some doctors help with that argument. Regardless, I will have it done, one way or another---it will happen.
Today marks one week without cigarettes!! I'm thrilled at how the cravings are becoming less frequent and less intense. I still get them, even though my body should be over the nicotine addiction—but they pass quickly. It's just too important to stay strong and not give into my desire to light up. Everyday that passes, I'm looking forward to it becoming less and less of a struggle and more and more natural. Last night at karaoke I was surrounded by people smoking and it didn't bother me. I also noticed a guy chewing a straw. I don't know for sure, but I bet he's going through the same thing!
My workout tonight was driven and precisely what I needed. I mentioned to Melissa about how my tail bone hurts during one particular exercise and she suggested a pillow or workout pad. Wow...I can't believe I didn't figure that one out before now. A pillow made all the difference. I went through the recommended movements from Melissa for strength training and added two miles on the treadmill for cardio. The strength training alone elevates my heart rate. I can't wait to start seeing results in the form of muscles. I want guns!! And I'm going to get them by golly!
I better drop in bed. I still need to make sure I'm getting enough sleep. Thank you for reading. I hope you check out Amber's blog too. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My daughters and me before
Amber. Not sure the date of this photo. So beautiful!
Courtney. Beautiful. Again, not sure when this was taken. Beauty from their momma for sure!
The four of us. Several months ago, or at least a few. We need to update this one!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Day 482 Seriously Imperfect Improvements and A Pleasure Instead of A Chore
Day 482
Seriously Imperfect Improvements and A Pleasure Instead of A Chore
Mom and I need to do this more often! We're having fun and enjoying our time together. Every now and then I'll start breaking out the weight loss philosophy with her and we'll discuss all of the angles. My dear sweet mother has been brainwashed by a lifetime of weight loss magazine articles and books promoting every diet known to humankind. Trying to simplify this process, completely un-complicating and untangling years worth of weight loss misconceptions and contradictions, can be a real challenge. But we're winning! And she's losing. It's critical for mom at this point. At 64, the possible consequence of her good choices are extra years added to her life. And of course this life extending choice is true for all of us regardless of age. She's choosing to extend her life. How powerful is that? Seriously so.
I do understand the concern some of my friends have when I talk about fast food choices. I've written many times about my philosophy concerning these choices. I have a lifetime of fast food history, it's one of the reasons I packed on the fat, weighing over 500 pounds for nearly two decades. My choices yesterday compared to my choices back then are night and day different. Yesterday mornings breakfast of scrambled eggs and a fruit and yogurt cup without granola totaled 300 calories and contained 230 mg of sodium, or 10% of what's considered normal for a day. In comparison to a typical pre-journey McDonald's breakfast for me, well---it's a drastic improvement. What kind of breakfast would I order before? A Deluxe Big Breakfast contains 1,090 calories and 2150 mg of sodium—90% of the recommended daily value of sodium. And that calorie total is without syrup or margarine for the hotcakes! And if it came with a buttermilk biscuit, then you can bet I was ordering a side of gravy to pour over. I was a mess. The choices we made yesterday were drastic improvements.
I can't say I'll never eat fast food again, but you can bet I'll be armed with information that helps me make the best possible choice at the moment of ordering. I'll never abuse myself with fast food again, I do know that! I just have a hard time believing that it's all bad. 95% bad? Yes...it's 95% garbage, I think we can all agree, but the remaining 5% offers some wonderful choices in a very convenient way.
My weight loss philosophy weighs heavy on the psychological elements that make this hard or make this as easy as it can be. We tend to naturally complicate things by setting up rules going into our weight loss plan. Often times these rules are so far from our normal way of life, it makes it almost impossible to remain “on plan.” And when we deviate from our plan, we feel like we've failed. Really strong willed people can do it with a long list of rules from day 1, but I've always felt weak and nearly hopeless for change in the weight loss department. My simplistic approach has worked for me—a raging food addict who feared he could never play by the rules that I thought were needed for weight loss. I've failed at losing weight so many times---and I remember each attempt. I've picked them apart and thrown them all away, except for the most simple elements---and the solutions I've found have worked wonderfully. It's not perfect. How many times have I said that? And it doesn't need to be perfect. But it has been a pleasure instead of a chore. And that's one of the most refreshing and important things about this transformation experience. It must be a pleasure instead of a chore.
I sincerely appreciate concern that people express for me, I do. It's your amazing support that has taken this entire experience over the top. And I'm learning as I go and I continue to learn. I'm seriously open to learning new things about nutrition and fitness. I've learned several valuable points from readers all over the world and friends here at home like Dr. Amy and Melissa Walden. I'll continue to learn as I go and my ultimate fitness goals and dreams will be realized. That's exciting!
I prepared that wonderful dinner last night and tonight I did it again! This time I prepared a chicken spaghetti dish with mushrooms, onions, grilled chicken, and marinara. Oh wow...it was good! The calories were calculated at 400 per serving---not bad for a complete meal. See the pictures below.
The workout I've been doing every night is something I can do right here in the apartment or downstairs in the fitness room. I do need to buy some dumbbells. Most of these movements rely on my body weight for resistance. The best kind if you ask me! I know the soreness will improve and I certainly don't mean to sound like a little baby, but wow---I'm seriously sore! I hope to connect with Melissa sometime tomorrow to get that new body fat analysis. I'm excited about that!
I took mom to a little karaoke place tonight. OK---It was a bar. I'm not sure I've ever been inside a bar with my mom. We were there for the karaoke, that's it! We sipped water and at one point shared a Diet Coke. I performed one song (Rose Colored Glasses), we finished our “drinks,” and decided it was time to leave before the place got rowdy! It was fun and mom could certainly see how losing this weight has given me an amazing amount of confidence. I would have never done this at over 500 pounds, I mean never. I was always too self-conscious, always. It's funny---at over 500 pounds I could easily get on stage and speak---but singing or acting? Forget it. I guess I convinced myself that 500 pound people didn't do those things. Hmmm, interesting what we tell ourselves.
Thank you for reading. Your support is invaluable to me! I hope the rest of your weekend is grand. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Friday night's dinner
Saturday night's dinner
Seriously Imperfect Improvements and A Pleasure Instead of A Chore
Mom and I need to do this more often! We're having fun and enjoying our time together. Every now and then I'll start breaking out the weight loss philosophy with her and we'll discuss all of the angles. My dear sweet mother has been brainwashed by a lifetime of weight loss magazine articles and books promoting every diet known to humankind. Trying to simplify this process, completely un-complicating and untangling years worth of weight loss misconceptions and contradictions, can be a real challenge. But we're winning! And she's losing. It's critical for mom at this point. At 64, the possible consequence of her good choices are extra years added to her life. And of course this life extending choice is true for all of us regardless of age. She's choosing to extend her life. How powerful is that? Seriously so.
I do understand the concern some of my friends have when I talk about fast food choices. I've written many times about my philosophy concerning these choices. I have a lifetime of fast food history, it's one of the reasons I packed on the fat, weighing over 500 pounds for nearly two decades. My choices yesterday compared to my choices back then are night and day different. Yesterday mornings breakfast of scrambled eggs and a fruit and yogurt cup without granola totaled 300 calories and contained 230 mg of sodium, or 10% of what's considered normal for a day. In comparison to a typical pre-journey McDonald's breakfast for me, well---it's a drastic improvement. What kind of breakfast would I order before? A Deluxe Big Breakfast contains 1,090 calories and 2150 mg of sodium—90% of the recommended daily value of sodium. And that calorie total is without syrup or margarine for the hotcakes! And if it came with a buttermilk biscuit, then you can bet I was ordering a side of gravy to pour over. I was a mess. The choices we made yesterday were drastic improvements.
I can't say I'll never eat fast food again, but you can bet I'll be armed with information that helps me make the best possible choice at the moment of ordering. I'll never abuse myself with fast food again, I do know that! I just have a hard time believing that it's all bad. 95% bad? Yes...it's 95% garbage, I think we can all agree, but the remaining 5% offers some wonderful choices in a very convenient way.
My weight loss philosophy weighs heavy on the psychological elements that make this hard or make this as easy as it can be. We tend to naturally complicate things by setting up rules going into our weight loss plan. Often times these rules are so far from our normal way of life, it makes it almost impossible to remain “on plan.” And when we deviate from our plan, we feel like we've failed. Really strong willed people can do it with a long list of rules from day 1, but I've always felt weak and nearly hopeless for change in the weight loss department. My simplistic approach has worked for me—a raging food addict who feared he could never play by the rules that I thought were needed for weight loss. I've failed at losing weight so many times---and I remember each attempt. I've picked them apart and thrown them all away, except for the most simple elements---and the solutions I've found have worked wonderfully. It's not perfect. How many times have I said that? And it doesn't need to be perfect. But it has been a pleasure instead of a chore. And that's one of the most refreshing and important things about this transformation experience. It must be a pleasure instead of a chore.
I sincerely appreciate concern that people express for me, I do. It's your amazing support that has taken this entire experience over the top. And I'm learning as I go and I continue to learn. I'm seriously open to learning new things about nutrition and fitness. I've learned several valuable points from readers all over the world and friends here at home like Dr. Amy and Melissa Walden. I'll continue to learn as I go and my ultimate fitness goals and dreams will be realized. That's exciting!
I prepared that wonderful dinner last night and tonight I did it again! This time I prepared a chicken spaghetti dish with mushrooms, onions, grilled chicken, and marinara. Oh wow...it was good! The calories were calculated at 400 per serving---not bad for a complete meal. See the pictures below.
The workout I've been doing every night is something I can do right here in the apartment or downstairs in the fitness room. I do need to buy some dumbbells. Most of these movements rely on my body weight for resistance. The best kind if you ask me! I know the soreness will improve and I certainly don't mean to sound like a little baby, but wow---I'm seriously sore! I hope to connect with Melissa sometime tomorrow to get that new body fat analysis. I'm excited about that!
I took mom to a little karaoke place tonight. OK---It was a bar. I'm not sure I've ever been inside a bar with my mom. We were there for the karaoke, that's it! We sipped water and at one point shared a Diet Coke. I performed one song (Rose Colored Glasses), we finished our “drinks,” and decided it was time to leave before the place got rowdy! It was fun and mom could certainly see how losing this weight has given me an amazing amount of confidence. I would have never done this at over 500 pounds, I mean never. I was always too self-conscious, always. It's funny---at over 500 pounds I could easily get on stage and speak---but singing or acting? Forget it. I guess I convinced myself that 500 pound people didn't do those things. Hmmm, interesting what we tell ourselves.
Thank you for reading. Your support is invaluable to me! I hope the rest of your weekend is grand. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Friday night's dinner
Saturday night's dinner
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Day 481 Let's Not Get Too Excited and Smiling Through The Soreness
Day 481
Let's Not Get Too Excited and Smiling Through The Soreness
The more I look at these “top secret—soon to be released” photos and the more I gaze into the mirror with a critical eye, the more I'm realizing Melissa is right. We need to re-calculate that body fat percentage. 14.7% was nice to think about and believe for a second, but it's got to be higher than that. We'll find out before the weekend is over. It doesn't matter to me what the number turns out to be, it's all good, and I'm headed even lower than where I am---and I guarantee, whatever it is--- it's dramatically lower than the 54% I remember from so long ago. But yeah, I really wish I would have held off on announcing that number until we were confident with the accuracy. The caliper pinch in the upper body and leg wasn't the issue, it was the caliper pinch right of my belly button amid a considerable amount of loose skin that may have given the inaccurate reading. Melissa was the first to question the number. Right in the middle of my happy dance—it was hey, not so fast! Like winning the big lottery and then lottery officials telling you the extra zero on that check was a mistake—that kind of makes a difference huh?. Oh well, I still win! And besides---this isn't luck, no-this is a choice made. I'm on this road because I've chosen change. And change is good---and change is getting me where I'm headed in a wonderful way. It will not be long before 14.7% body fat is too high for me. Yep, that day might not be today, but that day is coming.
I've been through two of these targeted workouts and I'm telling you, my soreness level is beyond what it was the day after the 10K. Walking up and down stairs is a fun reminder of my muscle wake up call. I have to smile when I'm sore because it means something special to me. It's a good sore, soreness of positive and deliberate change is the best kind.
Mom and I chose to sleep late today. Instead of 4am, we jumped up at 5am—not too late, early enough to get ready and grab a good breakfast on the way to the studio. We stopped at the McDonald's drive-thru and ordered some scrambled whole eggs and some yogurt with strawberries and blueberries. The calories in those eggs are considerably higher than if we had prepared them at home, but once in a while, in a pinch---I'll allow them. Our choices were good and breakfast was served with headphones and a microphone! Mom sounds so good on the air, she really does. When she opens up and really talks—it's pure smoothness. If I could, I'd make it “Sean and Mom in the Morning” everyday. It's a blast! Jodi, a longtime reader, asked if there was any way to listen outside our broadcast area, and unfortunately there isn't right now. Licensing for a 100% webcast of everything we air would be rather expensive.
We brought apples for a mid-morning snack and then decided on an early lunch instead. We dined at Wendy's for lunch. Wow, this really sounds horrible! We're not even to noon yet and we've already enjoyed two fast food places. Relax and ask anyone that knows---if you're going to pick a fast food place that offers great choices, Wendy's can't be beat. We both ordered a small chili for 190 calories and a grilled chicken wrap, minus the dressing—plus regular mustard. The entire lunch was 400 calories and very filling! I took mom back to the apartment before heading back to the studio for the rest of my workday. On the way home I stopped by the store and grabbed some chicken breast and green beans. I decided that tonight we were having a home cooked meal for a change! The Foreman Grill was perfect for this plan, although I do miss the flavor of my big outdoor grill. That big thing is in Irene's front yard now, no room at the apartment. I guess we could put it on the balcony, but I suspect there's a policy against grills out there. I've looked around and haven't found anyone else with a grill on their balcony. Oh well, the Foreman was good—and did exactly what we needed.
Courtney was with friends and staying at her mom's place. She'll be back home tomorrow, tonight was just dinner for two. I prepared the chicken, green beans, and even some mashed potatoes with a tablespoon of brown gravy!! The entire meal checked in at 380 calories. Now that's a great calorie value dinner!
I spent the evening visiting with mom before we traveled over to Irene's place for a little visit. Upon our return I changed into my workout clothes and hit the fitness room. I'm loving the feeling and attitude I have these days. I can clearly see where we're headed and it is a grand place. My workout was awesome! I warmed up on the treadmill for a mile then quickly got into position for the squats. Oh my goodness, these aren't so easy when you're already sore. It was tough getting to 20 reps, but with a little grunting and groaning---and primal screaming, OK---maybe not screaming, after all, we're in an apartment, I got it done---Along with two sets of each movement prescribed by Melissa. The stretching is amazing. I honestly never stretched before, not like this. It's a wonderful thing indeed!
I loaded up an omelet tonight with whole eggs, mushrooms, and mozzarella. I was trying to hit the 1800 calorie limit. With a banana on the side, I was successful. I've been doing 1500 calories for so long, and it's served me so well, it's taking some mental adjustments to accept this change. I know it's what my body needs me to do, so I do it.
My new no smoking policy is getting easier and easier to handle. I have my moments of crazy craving, and then it passes. After I eat and while I'm driving are a little tough, I certainly see what a routine it had become. It was a habit and a routine---I'd made it part of my natural day to day. I feel like my nicotine dependency isn't the issue now, it's the routine breaking that provides the challenge. I'm winning the fight and it feels so good!
This is definitely a new chapter in our development. Thank you for reading. Many more wonderful chapters ahead my friend! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Let's Not Get Too Excited and Smiling Through The Soreness
The more I look at these “top secret—soon to be released” photos and the more I gaze into the mirror with a critical eye, the more I'm realizing Melissa is right. We need to re-calculate that body fat percentage. 14.7% was nice to think about and believe for a second, but it's got to be higher than that. We'll find out before the weekend is over. It doesn't matter to me what the number turns out to be, it's all good, and I'm headed even lower than where I am---and I guarantee, whatever it is--- it's dramatically lower than the 54% I remember from so long ago. But yeah, I really wish I would have held off on announcing that number until we were confident with the accuracy. The caliper pinch in the upper body and leg wasn't the issue, it was the caliper pinch right of my belly button amid a considerable amount of loose skin that may have given the inaccurate reading. Melissa was the first to question the number. Right in the middle of my happy dance—it was hey, not so fast! Like winning the big lottery and then lottery officials telling you the extra zero on that check was a mistake—that kind of makes a difference huh?. Oh well, I still win! And besides---this isn't luck, no-this is a choice made. I'm on this road because I've chosen change. And change is good---and change is getting me where I'm headed in a wonderful way. It will not be long before 14.7% body fat is too high for me. Yep, that day might not be today, but that day is coming.
I've been through two of these targeted workouts and I'm telling you, my soreness level is beyond what it was the day after the 10K. Walking up and down stairs is a fun reminder of my muscle wake up call. I have to smile when I'm sore because it means something special to me. It's a good sore, soreness of positive and deliberate change is the best kind.
Mom and I chose to sleep late today. Instead of 4am, we jumped up at 5am—not too late, early enough to get ready and grab a good breakfast on the way to the studio. We stopped at the McDonald's drive-thru and ordered some scrambled whole eggs and some yogurt with strawberries and blueberries. The calories in those eggs are considerably higher than if we had prepared them at home, but once in a while, in a pinch---I'll allow them. Our choices were good and breakfast was served with headphones and a microphone! Mom sounds so good on the air, she really does. When she opens up and really talks—it's pure smoothness. If I could, I'd make it “Sean and Mom in the Morning” everyday. It's a blast! Jodi, a longtime reader, asked if there was any way to listen outside our broadcast area, and unfortunately there isn't right now. Licensing for a 100% webcast of everything we air would be rather expensive.
We brought apples for a mid-morning snack and then decided on an early lunch instead. We dined at Wendy's for lunch. Wow, this really sounds horrible! We're not even to noon yet and we've already enjoyed two fast food places. Relax and ask anyone that knows---if you're going to pick a fast food place that offers great choices, Wendy's can't be beat. We both ordered a small chili for 190 calories and a grilled chicken wrap, minus the dressing—plus regular mustard. The entire lunch was 400 calories and very filling! I took mom back to the apartment before heading back to the studio for the rest of my workday. On the way home I stopped by the store and grabbed some chicken breast and green beans. I decided that tonight we were having a home cooked meal for a change! The Foreman Grill was perfect for this plan, although I do miss the flavor of my big outdoor grill. That big thing is in Irene's front yard now, no room at the apartment. I guess we could put it on the balcony, but I suspect there's a policy against grills out there. I've looked around and haven't found anyone else with a grill on their balcony. Oh well, the Foreman was good—and did exactly what we needed.
Courtney was with friends and staying at her mom's place. She'll be back home tomorrow, tonight was just dinner for two. I prepared the chicken, green beans, and even some mashed potatoes with a tablespoon of brown gravy!! The entire meal checked in at 380 calories. Now that's a great calorie value dinner!
I spent the evening visiting with mom before we traveled over to Irene's place for a little visit. Upon our return I changed into my workout clothes and hit the fitness room. I'm loving the feeling and attitude I have these days. I can clearly see where we're headed and it is a grand place. My workout was awesome! I warmed up on the treadmill for a mile then quickly got into position for the squats. Oh my goodness, these aren't so easy when you're already sore. It was tough getting to 20 reps, but with a little grunting and groaning---and primal screaming, OK---maybe not screaming, after all, we're in an apartment, I got it done---Along with two sets of each movement prescribed by Melissa. The stretching is amazing. I honestly never stretched before, not like this. It's a wonderful thing indeed!
I loaded up an omelet tonight with whole eggs, mushrooms, and mozzarella. I was trying to hit the 1800 calorie limit. With a banana on the side, I was successful. I've been doing 1500 calories for so long, and it's served me so well, it's taking some mental adjustments to accept this change. I know it's what my body needs me to do, so I do it.
My new no smoking policy is getting easier and easier to handle. I have my moments of crazy craving, and then it passes. After I eat and while I'm driving are a little tough, I certainly see what a routine it had become. It was a habit and a routine---I'd made it part of my natural day to day. I feel like my nicotine dependency isn't the issue now, it's the routine breaking that provides the challenge. I'm winning the fight and it feels so good!
This is definitely a new chapter in our development. Thank you for reading. Many more wonderful chapters ahead my friend! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Friday, January 8, 2010
Day 480 14.7% Body Fat (really?) and You Mean I Need To Eat More?
Day 480
14.7% Body Fat (really?) and You Mean I Need To Eat More?
No time for the snooze alarm this morning. I jumped up at 4am ready to go full force. I was full of energy and optimistic. Today was going to be a turning point, and it was. I met with Melissa Walden for my first training session at 4:45am. The first thing we did was a body fat analysis and a bunch of measurements. The analysis found my body fat at a surprisingly normal 14.7%. (The average male should fall between 10 and 15%) I was really shocked. I think she was surprised too. Her initial analysis concluded that I didn't have much fat OR much muscle, especially upper body muscle. My lower body was much better in the muscle department, surely from carrying around all that weight for so long. I remember getting a body fat analysis done a long time ago, maybe 13 years or so ago, and if I remember right, my body fat at that time was a whopping 54% . It had to be somewhere around there when I started at 505. But 14.7%...I'm thrilled. She commented on “a bunch of skin and bones,” Hmmm, never been described like that, although that's not the good thing I always thought it might be. I need muscles and that's the point of this new chapter of my journey. Strength training is critical at this point.
That 14.7% number had me buzzing all day long. I was seriously high on that all day long. I had very little trouble today with the nicotine cravings, very little trouble...I was too busy running the numbers of my body fat analysis. If 14.7% is correct, then that means I only have 40 more pounds of fat on my body, and since it would be practically impossible to have less than 1% body fat---well, you see where I'm headed here. Maybe I set my goal too low? Perhaps, but wait a second. After more fat loss and then adding some muscle---and then having all this excess skin removed---maybe 230 is possible, very possible. Melissa called this evening and said she'd like to re-do that test. I know---hard to believe huh? She was positive that it was very close---but just to confirm, we'll do a re-test. I guess I shouldn't have ordered that jacket with 14.7% on the breast and back. I'm kidding, I didn't order a jacket, but I was excited enough for sure!
This chapter of my journey will be archived with some of the most revealing photos I've ever taken. I will keep them private until after skin removal surgery and months of weight training. There's no way I'm brave enough to post the “before” without an “after” to lessen the pain. Some people I know wouldn't have a problem with the super revealing pictures—in underwear with shirt off. Some guys would be really comfortable with that regardless of their weight. Not me! No way, no how! I'm not that brave. But, I'm going to take these pictures and save them just for the sake of a jaw dropping contrast someday. I love jaw dropping before and afters, or “in progress” shots. I love 'em! I'm recruiting Irene to come over and take these shots, she'll do it—no problem!
The workout this morning was amazing. We did squats, modified push ups, plank raises (not sure if that's what it's called), and then we killed my mid-section with some killer sit-ups she called “out of beds.” I felt the workout all day and evening. I'm still feeling it. I worked out again tonight and it was noticeably harder to accomplish the same reps. I'm a sore boy.
Melissa has upped my calories to 1800. It's a little awkward, I'll admit...but it's not too bad. Listen to me, am I complaining about eating more? That's nuts, isn't it? She did tell me to make that extra 300 calories good stuff. Fruits, veggies, proteins...something real and good for me. So today I did 1800. Can you believe that? I feel good! Can't wait to see the difference this turning point creates.
Melissa left a very nice comment on last night's blog. She addressed the “stress factor” as it applies to weight loss. Here's what she said: Hey all you Sean supporters and my new client. How amazing to have this many people sending good thoughts and such a brave person to post his life's struggles. Oh! About the stress hormones...high levels of stress can cause your body to not reduce body fat as efficiently as it could under average levels of stress. If anyone has a question for me, just throw it out there. Sean can let me know because I have a 2 year old that requires a lot of attention and I don't get to read Sean's blog all the time. Lol. Sean-Another new road and I'm honored to be going down it with you. I will learn as much from you as you learn from me. I knew when I met you that God had a plan. Can't wait to see what the future brings!----Melissa Walden
I made the most wonderful turkey mozzarella melt egg white omelet for lunch today. The giant—and very filling plate load was an unbelievable 160 calories. I really should have had more calories for lunch---so I enjoyed a ham sandwich loaded with veggies a few hours later.
I interviewed Kat Long on my show this morning. She was promoting the 2010 Census employment testing. Kat is a long time reader of this blog and it was so good to see her. She came bearing gifts! A census 2010 mug filled with flavored tea bags! How did she know I wanted to start drinking less coffee? And then she gave me a wonderful water bottle. It's like she was reading my mind. More water is a top priority these days, I needed a good bottle. And then I remembered, she's not reading my mind---she's reading my blog! Thank you Kat! You know, Kat has accomplished her own successful weight loss journey! After losing 50 pounds, her and her husband both agreed---she was there, that was it...goal!
I drove to Stillwater tonight and picked up my mom. She's staying the weekend with me. I'll take her back on Sunday. We got back kind of late and I immediately took her down to the fitness room so we could visit while I worked out. It was good. Real good. The best part of the night was making a nearly 95 mile round trip smoke free. Driving and smoking always went hand in hand with me. But tonight—it was like I didn't miss the nasty things. I didn't have to crack my window once. And that dirty nasty ashtray? I tossed it all in the trash. Who needs it? Not me!
In the morning it'll be “Sean And Mom In The Morning,” We did that once before, it was so much fun! My mom has a great radio voice. She's a natural indeed and everybody just loves her on the air. We're looking forward to doing it again.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
14.7% Body Fat (really?) and You Mean I Need To Eat More?
No time for the snooze alarm this morning. I jumped up at 4am ready to go full force. I was full of energy and optimistic. Today was going to be a turning point, and it was. I met with Melissa Walden for my first training session at 4:45am. The first thing we did was a body fat analysis and a bunch of measurements. The analysis found my body fat at a surprisingly normal 14.7%. (The average male should fall between 10 and 15%) I was really shocked. I think she was surprised too. Her initial analysis concluded that I didn't have much fat OR much muscle, especially upper body muscle. My lower body was much better in the muscle department, surely from carrying around all that weight for so long. I remember getting a body fat analysis done a long time ago, maybe 13 years or so ago, and if I remember right, my body fat at that time was a whopping 54% . It had to be somewhere around there when I started at 505. But 14.7%...I'm thrilled. She commented on “a bunch of skin and bones,” Hmmm, never been described like that, although that's not the good thing I always thought it might be. I need muscles and that's the point of this new chapter of my journey. Strength training is critical at this point.
That 14.7% number had me buzzing all day long. I was seriously high on that all day long. I had very little trouble today with the nicotine cravings, very little trouble...I was too busy running the numbers of my body fat analysis. If 14.7% is correct, then that means I only have 40 more pounds of fat on my body, and since it would be practically impossible to have less than 1% body fat---well, you see where I'm headed here. Maybe I set my goal too low? Perhaps, but wait a second. After more fat loss and then adding some muscle---and then having all this excess skin removed---maybe 230 is possible, very possible. Melissa called this evening and said she'd like to re-do that test. I know---hard to believe huh? She was positive that it was very close---but just to confirm, we'll do a re-test. I guess I shouldn't have ordered that jacket with 14.7% on the breast and back. I'm kidding, I didn't order a jacket, but I was excited enough for sure!
This chapter of my journey will be archived with some of the most revealing photos I've ever taken. I will keep them private until after skin removal surgery and months of weight training. There's no way I'm brave enough to post the “before” without an “after” to lessen the pain. Some people I know wouldn't have a problem with the super revealing pictures—in underwear with shirt off. Some guys would be really comfortable with that regardless of their weight. Not me! No way, no how! I'm not that brave. But, I'm going to take these pictures and save them just for the sake of a jaw dropping contrast someday. I love jaw dropping before and afters, or “in progress” shots. I love 'em! I'm recruiting Irene to come over and take these shots, she'll do it—no problem!
The workout this morning was amazing. We did squats, modified push ups, plank raises (not sure if that's what it's called), and then we killed my mid-section with some killer sit-ups she called “out of beds.” I felt the workout all day and evening. I'm still feeling it. I worked out again tonight and it was noticeably harder to accomplish the same reps. I'm a sore boy.
Melissa has upped my calories to 1800. It's a little awkward, I'll admit...but it's not too bad. Listen to me, am I complaining about eating more? That's nuts, isn't it? She did tell me to make that extra 300 calories good stuff. Fruits, veggies, proteins...something real and good for me. So today I did 1800. Can you believe that? I feel good! Can't wait to see the difference this turning point creates.
Melissa left a very nice comment on last night's blog. She addressed the “stress factor” as it applies to weight loss. Here's what she said: Hey all you Sean supporters and my new client. How amazing to have this many people sending good thoughts and such a brave person to post his life's struggles. Oh! About the stress hormones...high levels of stress can cause your body to not reduce body fat as efficiently as it could under average levels of stress. If anyone has a question for me, just throw it out there. Sean can let me know because I have a 2 year old that requires a lot of attention and I don't get to read Sean's blog all the time. Lol. Sean-Another new road and I'm honored to be going down it with you. I will learn as much from you as you learn from me. I knew when I met you that God had a plan. Can't wait to see what the future brings!----Melissa Walden
I made the most wonderful turkey mozzarella melt egg white omelet for lunch today. The giant—and very filling plate load was an unbelievable 160 calories. I really should have had more calories for lunch---so I enjoyed a ham sandwich loaded with veggies a few hours later.
I interviewed Kat Long on my show this morning. She was promoting the 2010 Census employment testing. Kat is a long time reader of this blog and it was so good to see her. She came bearing gifts! A census 2010 mug filled with flavored tea bags! How did she know I wanted to start drinking less coffee? And then she gave me a wonderful water bottle. It's like she was reading my mind. More water is a top priority these days, I needed a good bottle. And then I remembered, she's not reading my mind---she's reading my blog! Thank you Kat! You know, Kat has accomplished her own successful weight loss journey! After losing 50 pounds, her and her husband both agreed---she was there, that was it...goal!
I drove to Stillwater tonight and picked up my mom. She's staying the weekend with me. I'll take her back on Sunday. We got back kind of late and I immediately took her down to the fitness room so we could visit while I worked out. It was good. Real good. The best part of the night was making a nearly 95 mile round trip smoke free. Driving and smoking always went hand in hand with me. But tonight—it was like I didn't miss the nasty things. I didn't have to crack my window once. And that dirty nasty ashtray? I tossed it all in the trash. Who needs it? Not me!
In the morning it'll be “Sean And Mom In The Morning,” We did that once before, it was so much fun! My mom has a great radio voice. She's a natural indeed and everybody just loves her on the air. We're looking forward to doing it again.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Day 479 A Small Gain Is OK, Losing The Grip of Self-Honesty Is Not
Day 479
A Small Gain Is OK, Losing The Grip of Self-Honesty Is Not
This day was a long time coming. Every other weigh day before—success! Oh yeah baby---I was kickin' off pounds like Krispy Kreme cranks out donuts. I was hot and fresh every weigh day! Most times with a big smile on my face as I sent out that mass weigh day update that always screamed check this out! Uh Yeah! I do remember that weigh day several months ago when I lost five pounds and threw some kind of silly kid-like temper tantrum because I thought it wasn't enough. I seriously needed slapped that day. I'd give anything to trade today's weigh in for that five pounder.
I've said it many times before---I became spoiled real fast. Who did I think I was? Better question---What did I think I was? Some kind of weight loss machine? You know what starts to happen? I'll tell you. I can't speak for everyone, but here's what happened along my road:
I started taking my weight loss for granted. I started loving my newfound freedom. I stopped a little and smelled the roses. Took some pictures and started actually liking the man staring back at me. I was enjoying the journey, which is great, but then I started enjoying it to the point of altering my performance. 1500 calories a day, no problem—never had a problem with that budget. But remember how many workouts I would miss and how much sleep I sacrificed while enjoying the spoils of my success? Somewhere along the way I also started getting real lax in the hydration department. Plenty of water---that's an unbreakable rule along this road, but I broke it. In fact---I didn't give it much attention at all. Proof? You can't find but maybe a handful of post in all of these 479 days where I talk about my water consumption. Every time I've said I'm not perfect, what I was really saying was: I honestly know what I could do even better, but hey---I've still lost X amount of pounds! I'm still a success along this road.
And that's true. I'm extremely proud of how far I've traveled. I honestly believe that I had very little time left at over 500 pounds. I feel like I'm out of the danger zone now. But I'm not done. This isn't where it all ends. This is where I finally stop talking about cracking down on myself—-and when I actually start doing it. You might say “Sean, come on---don't be so hard on yourself!” And I appreciate that, I do---I understand what you're saying, but I also understand how I've been so easy on myself for a little too long. It's time to get back to the fundamentals of what brought me this far. It's time to get consistent on a whole new level. This last 40 some pounds will be the most stubborn 40 some ever if I don't. OK---there. I feel better. Oh, yeah---I gained two pounds. 272 last time, 274 today.
And it's not the two pounds really. It's a self-honesty issue. Self-honesty is the biggest element of this journey, and following right behind is consistency. A two pound gain isn't a big deal. Continuing to tell myself I'm doing OK when I know I could be doing better---that's unacceptable. My best always? Hardly. So please don't interpret the last few paragraphs as another temper tantrum---No, this is my personal get real post. This is about being honest with myself about where I am, where I want to be, and what I'm willing to do to get there. My transformation is remarkable---it is, but what kind of transformation could I have experienced thus far had I maintained consistency with weight training that I started in FEBRUARY!!! Can you even imagine the difference 11 months of consistent weight training would have done for me at this point? It's a self-honesty issue that upsets me with me. I must take off the cruise control—because my body is too adapted to what I'm doing. Ok---I can do cardio---I've proven that, but I must not ever again ignore strength training!! I'm not fooling my body anymore. This is when the work—the honest to goodness work starts.
I called my friend and fellow “Lose To Win” speaker Melissa Walden today. Melissa is a teacher, fitness trainer, and life coach. And at 4:45am tomorrow morning---she officially becomes my trainer. I always send her the weigh day update mass text, but today was different. After personally calling and texting a couple of friends---I called another---Melissa. The first thing she asked me was “Have you been under any kind of stress lately?” Oh. Let's see---uh--yeah, I'd say that's a fair statement. With the marital issues and now the cold turkey nicotine quit, not to mention a few other ordinary life stresses---yes---yes, I'm a little stressed lately. She told me that my body could actually be producing hormones to combat that stress. Hormones that make it a little more difficult to lose weight. What? Well---that stresses me out even more! She then started asking me questions about my diet and exercise habits these days. Melissa hasn't caught up on the blog lately! I answered the questions and she gave me hope. She said we can do this! She even mentioned raising my calories to 1800. By the time I hung up the phone---I was pumped and ready to work like never before. My first session with her is scheduled for 4:45am tomorrow. Let's do this.
I'm only meeting with her one time a week right now. The money I'm saving by not buying cigarettes more than covers the extra expense. In fact---I'll save so much by being a non-smoker—I could afford a couple of visits a week! And still put some back in that clear jar that was suggested. Great idea by the way-Friend of The Bear, thank you my friend! And thank you to everyone that has given such tremendous support as I face down this nasty smoking habit. It has been tough, real tough—but I have to admit---it's noticeably easier at this very moment. I feel empowered, I really do. It's good, no---it's great!
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your kind support. And in the grammatically incorrect words of Bachman-Turner Overdrive...You ain't seen nothing yet! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
A Small Gain Is OK, Losing The Grip of Self-Honesty Is Not
This day was a long time coming. Every other weigh day before—success! Oh yeah baby---I was kickin' off pounds like Krispy Kreme cranks out donuts. I was hot and fresh every weigh day! Most times with a big smile on my face as I sent out that mass weigh day update that always screamed check this out! Uh Yeah! I do remember that weigh day several months ago when I lost five pounds and threw some kind of silly kid-like temper tantrum because I thought it wasn't enough. I seriously needed slapped that day. I'd give anything to trade today's weigh in for that five pounder.
I've said it many times before---I became spoiled real fast. Who did I think I was? Better question---What did I think I was? Some kind of weight loss machine? You know what starts to happen? I'll tell you. I can't speak for everyone, but here's what happened along my road:
I started taking my weight loss for granted. I started loving my newfound freedom. I stopped a little and smelled the roses. Took some pictures and started actually liking the man staring back at me. I was enjoying the journey, which is great, but then I started enjoying it to the point of altering my performance. 1500 calories a day, no problem—never had a problem with that budget. But remember how many workouts I would miss and how much sleep I sacrificed while enjoying the spoils of my success? Somewhere along the way I also started getting real lax in the hydration department. Plenty of water---that's an unbreakable rule along this road, but I broke it. In fact---I didn't give it much attention at all. Proof? You can't find but maybe a handful of post in all of these 479 days where I talk about my water consumption. Every time I've said I'm not perfect, what I was really saying was: I honestly know what I could do even better, but hey---I've still lost X amount of pounds! I'm still a success along this road.
And that's true. I'm extremely proud of how far I've traveled. I honestly believe that I had very little time left at over 500 pounds. I feel like I'm out of the danger zone now. But I'm not done. This isn't where it all ends. This is where I finally stop talking about cracking down on myself—-and when I actually start doing it. You might say “Sean, come on---don't be so hard on yourself!” And I appreciate that, I do---I understand what you're saying, but I also understand how I've been so easy on myself for a little too long. It's time to get back to the fundamentals of what brought me this far. It's time to get consistent on a whole new level. This last 40 some pounds will be the most stubborn 40 some ever if I don't. OK---there. I feel better. Oh, yeah---I gained two pounds. 272 last time, 274 today.
And it's not the two pounds really. It's a self-honesty issue. Self-honesty is the biggest element of this journey, and following right behind is consistency. A two pound gain isn't a big deal. Continuing to tell myself I'm doing OK when I know I could be doing better---that's unacceptable. My best always? Hardly. So please don't interpret the last few paragraphs as another temper tantrum---No, this is my personal get real post. This is about being honest with myself about where I am, where I want to be, and what I'm willing to do to get there. My transformation is remarkable---it is, but what kind of transformation could I have experienced thus far had I maintained consistency with weight training that I started in FEBRUARY!!! Can you even imagine the difference 11 months of consistent weight training would have done for me at this point? It's a self-honesty issue that upsets me with me. I must take off the cruise control—because my body is too adapted to what I'm doing. Ok---I can do cardio---I've proven that, but I must not ever again ignore strength training!! I'm not fooling my body anymore. This is when the work—the honest to goodness work starts.
I called my friend and fellow “Lose To Win” speaker Melissa Walden today. Melissa is a teacher, fitness trainer, and life coach. And at 4:45am tomorrow morning---she officially becomes my trainer. I always send her the weigh day update mass text, but today was different. After personally calling and texting a couple of friends---I called another---Melissa. The first thing she asked me was “Have you been under any kind of stress lately?” Oh. Let's see---uh--yeah, I'd say that's a fair statement. With the marital issues and now the cold turkey nicotine quit, not to mention a few other ordinary life stresses---yes---yes, I'm a little stressed lately. She told me that my body could actually be producing hormones to combat that stress. Hormones that make it a little more difficult to lose weight. What? Well---that stresses me out even more! She then started asking me questions about my diet and exercise habits these days. Melissa hasn't caught up on the blog lately! I answered the questions and she gave me hope. She said we can do this! She even mentioned raising my calories to 1800. By the time I hung up the phone---I was pumped and ready to work like never before. My first session with her is scheduled for 4:45am tomorrow. Let's do this.
I'm only meeting with her one time a week right now. The money I'm saving by not buying cigarettes more than covers the extra expense. In fact---I'll save so much by being a non-smoker—I could afford a couple of visits a week! And still put some back in that clear jar that was suggested. Great idea by the way-Friend of The Bear, thank you my friend! And thank you to everyone that has given such tremendous support as I face down this nasty smoking habit. It has been tough, real tough—but I have to admit---it's noticeably easier at this very moment. I feel empowered, I really do. It's good, no---it's great!
Thank you for reading. Thank you for your kind support. And in the grammatically incorrect words of Bachman-Turner Overdrive...You ain't seen nothing yet! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 478 An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home
Day 478
An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home
I had to do something today I haven't done in a very long time. I woke up not feeling well at all. I was having some issues. I'll spare you the details, let's just call it an upset stomach. I'm still smoke free, isolated in my apartment without access. I decided that if I was going to take a sick day from work, I was staying inside all day. The only exception was to workout in the fitness room downstairs. Gayle Williams did my show this morning—thank you Gayle. Couldn't be helped today.
I was honored today when the one and only Jack Sh*t featured my best advice for real weight loss on his must read blog. It was an honor enough for me that he requested my advice for the post, but then when I read the advice from others featured, I realized: Hey—Jack has put me in some very elite company here! From Mizfit to The Anti-Jared, Diane Fit To The Finish, and even David Kirchhoff--the CEO of Weight Watchers International! There were many others and every single person on the post offered wonderful advice for weight loss and fitness. You can read the post on Jack's blog by clicking this link:
http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2010/01/advice-from-people-smarter-than-me.html
My workout this afternoon was OK, but it wasn't the greatest. I seriously need a trainer, I swear. I need someone to yell at me and push me, because...yeah, I'm way too easy on me. I have been ever since I started, and yes---I've lost weight successfully, but I know it's going to take some serious workouts to get to the next level. I'm tired of talking about it. I did do a treadmill 5K walk/jog. Funny that a 5K for me is now considered an “Ok” workout. I remember when a 5K was impossible to even fathom. I didn't even look at the elliptical. OK, I looked at it---but I didn't do it. And I hate to use the “I'm on edge” excuse because I no longer smoke, but I'm on edge---I'm dealing with strong cravings constantly. I want this, I want this bad. I want to reach my potential in the exercise and fitness area and I will do it as a non-smoker. This is the most important thing.
I wasn't feeling especially hot about my workout and then I did something that I hardly ever do that made me feel less thrilled about my workout. I watched the Biggest Loser. I watched maybe ten minutes of last season. Not because I don't like it, I just don't watch TV that much anymore. Too much other stuff going on! Tonight I watched over an hour. That show stirs emotions in me, maybe that's really why I don't watch. I can relate to their emotions and their stories, and it just wells me up. The workouts on that show are insane! But in a good way. I want someone to work me until I throw up! I want someone to yell at me and bring out the fight in me. I need that, I think I do. I know I do. I've proven that a consistent effort and do what you can approach works, but I'm always the first to admit, I could and should do more.
I prepared a wonderful dinner tonight. Courtney and I enjoyed a mozzarella baked chicken marinara over a small bed of spaghetti with a side of green beans. It was delicious. I measured out the sauce and the noodles, had the cheese cut to an ounce. The entire plate came in at 550 calories, slightly over where I like my meals, but I can live with that. It was good and since I measured everything perfectly, no leftovers! It certainly didn't look like enough pasta into the pot, but it was. We always prepared way too much pasta in the past because of that reason...it doesn't look like enough. Trust me, it is enough!
I'm posting the picture of me with my last cigarette over the weekend. I hate this picture. I didn't realize how much I've avoided smoking in pictures. I tried to find one of me smoking in the files and folders of not only my computer, but my daughters old hard drive, and I looked through the seemingly endless picture albums on my aunt Kelli's online archives. None. I've been ashamed of that habit my entire life! So I snapped this nasty photo. I couldn't look at the camera, I just shut my eyes. One of my motivating thoughts that keep me straight on this quit mission: I want to be free! I'm tired of being a slave to this habit. It's over and not another disgusting cigarette will ever hang from my lip again. I don't have to hide my habit from the camera anymore. I don't have to slip out the back door anymore. I don't have to embarrassingly explain to people I meet that I decided to lose weight first and then tackle the cigarettes. I can't tell you how many times I've run into someone who knows of my weight loss success and then they were shocked when they discovered my dirty little not so secret. It was a complete lifestyle contradiction. I'm no longer living that contradictory lifestyle. I'm still dealing with the strong cravings, but I'm winning. How can I lose with all of the wonderful support I've been receiving? Thank you my friend.
Tomorrow is weigh day. I'm looking forward to hopping on the scale and seeing what the last two weeks will give me. I'm pulling for the 260's---I just need a three pound loss to get that done. I'm headed for bed and work in the morning. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Trying to render myself unconscious. I never allowed pictures of me with a cigarette. Never! This was a hard one to snap. But it's a part of the record that is this wonderful transformation. Ridding myself of this nasty habit is part of my journey. It's over now. Snap away!
An Honor To Be Included and A Nice Dinner At Home
I had to do something today I haven't done in a very long time. I woke up not feeling well at all. I was having some issues. I'll spare you the details, let's just call it an upset stomach. I'm still smoke free, isolated in my apartment without access. I decided that if I was going to take a sick day from work, I was staying inside all day. The only exception was to workout in the fitness room downstairs. Gayle Williams did my show this morning—thank you Gayle. Couldn't be helped today.
I was honored today when the one and only Jack Sh*t featured my best advice for real weight loss on his must read blog. It was an honor enough for me that he requested my advice for the post, but then when I read the advice from others featured, I realized: Hey—Jack has put me in some very elite company here! From Mizfit to The Anti-Jared, Diane Fit To The Finish, and even David Kirchhoff--the CEO of Weight Watchers International! There were many others and every single person on the post offered wonderful advice for weight loss and fitness. You can read the post on Jack's blog by clicking this link:
http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2010/01/advice-from-people-smarter-than-me.html
My workout this afternoon was OK, but it wasn't the greatest. I seriously need a trainer, I swear. I need someone to yell at me and push me, because...yeah, I'm way too easy on me. I have been ever since I started, and yes---I've lost weight successfully, but I know it's going to take some serious workouts to get to the next level. I'm tired of talking about it. I did do a treadmill 5K walk/jog. Funny that a 5K for me is now considered an “Ok” workout. I remember when a 5K was impossible to even fathom. I didn't even look at the elliptical. OK, I looked at it---but I didn't do it. And I hate to use the “I'm on edge” excuse because I no longer smoke, but I'm on edge---I'm dealing with strong cravings constantly. I want this, I want this bad. I want to reach my potential in the exercise and fitness area and I will do it as a non-smoker. This is the most important thing.
I wasn't feeling especially hot about my workout and then I did something that I hardly ever do that made me feel less thrilled about my workout. I watched the Biggest Loser. I watched maybe ten minutes of last season. Not because I don't like it, I just don't watch TV that much anymore. Too much other stuff going on! Tonight I watched over an hour. That show stirs emotions in me, maybe that's really why I don't watch. I can relate to their emotions and their stories, and it just wells me up. The workouts on that show are insane! But in a good way. I want someone to work me until I throw up! I want someone to yell at me and bring out the fight in me. I need that, I think I do. I know I do. I've proven that a consistent effort and do what you can approach works, but I'm always the first to admit, I could and should do more.
I prepared a wonderful dinner tonight. Courtney and I enjoyed a mozzarella baked chicken marinara over a small bed of spaghetti with a side of green beans. It was delicious. I measured out the sauce and the noodles, had the cheese cut to an ounce. The entire plate came in at 550 calories, slightly over where I like my meals, but I can live with that. It was good and since I measured everything perfectly, no leftovers! It certainly didn't look like enough pasta into the pot, but it was. We always prepared way too much pasta in the past because of that reason...it doesn't look like enough. Trust me, it is enough!
I'm posting the picture of me with my last cigarette over the weekend. I hate this picture. I didn't realize how much I've avoided smoking in pictures. I tried to find one of me smoking in the files and folders of not only my computer, but my daughters old hard drive, and I looked through the seemingly endless picture albums on my aunt Kelli's online archives. None. I've been ashamed of that habit my entire life! So I snapped this nasty photo. I couldn't look at the camera, I just shut my eyes. One of my motivating thoughts that keep me straight on this quit mission: I want to be free! I'm tired of being a slave to this habit. It's over and not another disgusting cigarette will ever hang from my lip again. I don't have to hide my habit from the camera anymore. I don't have to slip out the back door anymore. I don't have to embarrassingly explain to people I meet that I decided to lose weight first and then tackle the cigarettes. I can't tell you how many times I've run into someone who knows of my weight loss success and then they were shocked when they discovered my dirty little not so secret. It was a complete lifestyle contradiction. I'm no longer living that contradictory lifestyle. I'm still dealing with the strong cravings, but I'm winning. How can I lose with all of the wonderful support I've been receiving? Thank you my friend.
Tomorrow is weigh day. I'm looking forward to hopping on the scale and seeing what the last two weeks will give me. I'm pulling for the 260's---I just need a three pound loss to get that done. I'm headed for bed and work in the morning. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Trying to render myself unconscious. I never allowed pictures of me with a cigarette. Never! This was a hard one to snap. But it's a part of the record that is this wonderful transformation. Ridding myself of this nasty habit is part of my journey. It's over now. Snap away!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Day 477 I Will Not Tolerate The Wrong Direction and I Will Not Smoke
Day 477
I Will Not Tolerate The Wrong Direction and I Will Not Smoke
I'm happy to report that I've never made it this long before without nicotine. I'm fighting it with everything I have, it's not going to win. Not now, not after all the progress we've made. I'm working hard to keep myself busy or asleep.
I battled the cravings this afternoon by simply going to bed. It's easy when you're unconscious. I woke up from my horribly long nap and immediately called a friend. I read today that it's a great idea to call someone when you're having a craving. I did, I called four different people tonight! I'm getting this, I'm going to make it.
As much as I would like to report that this hasn't effected my food intake, it has. I haven't broken the bank, but I've used my calories today in a very loose way. I'm normally somewhere around 700 to 800 calories by early evening. When I laid down at 4pm for a nap---I was at 1100. It made for a very interesting dinner. I had some soup for 200 and Irene brought me a 150 calorie soft serve from McDonalds. It wasn't an easy night, but it was what I made it. I chose to short myself later by eating more earlier. I was comfortably at 750 when I decided that a chicken taco and a few chips and salsa sounded good.
I refuse to believe that gaining weight is inevitable when quitting cigarettes. A friend who quit several years ago told me that regardless of what I do, I might experience a weight gain---because my metabolism will be altered. No, not going to let this happen. I'll get crazy driven real fast---I refuse to go in the wrong direction. I'm going down and I'm going to do it without smokes. I've never been extreme, not in all 477 days. You know me, I'm laid back and easy---keeping it simple and straight, but if I see a weight gain---I'll get extreme on me real fast.
Amber turned 20 today. We're hoping to see her later in the week and celebrate. We all called and talked several times today. She's getting ready to go back to class on Wednesday. No longer a teenager, wow...I feel so much older than my 38 years. Happy birthday Amber!
I certainly don't mean to turn this into a stop smoking blog, it isn't---this is and will always be a blog about losing weight naturally. But pardon me right now, I'm consumed with this crazy fight. So naturally it's flowing out of my brain and onto my keyboard tonight.
Weigh day is Wednesday. I hope to drop into the 260's for the first time since...wow, I don't know---early teens maybe? It'll be nice I'm sure.
I found some wonderful forums on become an ex dot org. I found several people sharing thoughts, my thoughts exactly, and that helped. A bunch of people are going through this battle right now, I'm not alone---that's for sure.
Thanks for reading. And the picture of me with the last smoke---it just disgust me. i can't imagine anyone wanting to see this nasty picture, but a friend and regular reader asked me where it was, they wanted to see it---I'll post it soon. I just don't like it. I was so ashamed, I couldn't even look at the camera. My eyes are closed as if I'm saying---just snap the thing and let's move on! I'll post it tomorrow night. I'm going back to bed now. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I Will Not Tolerate The Wrong Direction and I Will Not Smoke
I'm happy to report that I've never made it this long before without nicotine. I'm fighting it with everything I have, it's not going to win. Not now, not after all the progress we've made. I'm working hard to keep myself busy or asleep.
I battled the cravings this afternoon by simply going to bed. It's easy when you're unconscious. I woke up from my horribly long nap and immediately called a friend. I read today that it's a great idea to call someone when you're having a craving. I did, I called four different people tonight! I'm getting this, I'm going to make it.
As much as I would like to report that this hasn't effected my food intake, it has. I haven't broken the bank, but I've used my calories today in a very loose way. I'm normally somewhere around 700 to 800 calories by early evening. When I laid down at 4pm for a nap---I was at 1100. It made for a very interesting dinner. I had some soup for 200 and Irene brought me a 150 calorie soft serve from McDonalds. It wasn't an easy night, but it was what I made it. I chose to short myself later by eating more earlier. I was comfortably at 750 when I decided that a chicken taco and a few chips and salsa sounded good.
I refuse to believe that gaining weight is inevitable when quitting cigarettes. A friend who quit several years ago told me that regardless of what I do, I might experience a weight gain---because my metabolism will be altered. No, not going to let this happen. I'll get crazy driven real fast---I refuse to go in the wrong direction. I'm going down and I'm going to do it without smokes. I've never been extreme, not in all 477 days. You know me, I'm laid back and easy---keeping it simple and straight, but if I see a weight gain---I'll get extreme on me real fast.
Amber turned 20 today. We're hoping to see her later in the week and celebrate. We all called and talked several times today. She's getting ready to go back to class on Wednesday. No longer a teenager, wow...I feel so much older than my 38 years. Happy birthday Amber!
I certainly don't mean to turn this into a stop smoking blog, it isn't---this is and will always be a blog about losing weight naturally. But pardon me right now, I'm consumed with this crazy fight. So naturally it's flowing out of my brain and onto my keyboard tonight.
Weigh day is Wednesday. I hope to drop into the 260's for the first time since...wow, I don't know---early teens maybe? It'll be nice I'm sure.
I found some wonderful forums on become an ex dot org. I found several people sharing thoughts, my thoughts exactly, and that helped. A bunch of people are going through this battle right now, I'm not alone---that's for sure.
Thanks for reading. And the picture of me with the last smoke---it just disgust me. i can't imagine anyone wanting to see this nasty picture, but a friend and regular reader asked me where it was, they wanted to see it---I'll post it soon. I just don't like it. I was so ashamed, I couldn't even look at the camera. My eyes are closed as if I'm saying---just snap the thing and let's move on! I'll post it tomorrow night. I'm going back to bed now. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
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