I had a moment today. It was nearing the end of my work day and a colleague who obviously is under a great deal more stress than I am, exploded in my direction. Perhaps a conversation about the elements of this dissent would have been more appropriate. I'm a much calmer person. I don't ever lose my cool and calm. If I'm angry about something, I'll address it, or not, but responding in a loud and disrespectful way isn't in my make up.
Perhaps it's my lifelong quest in avoiding confrontation that has given me this peaceful approach. I've avoided confrontation my entire life, sometimes to the detriment of my own personal well being, opting instead to just accept whatever was being heaved my way while adapting as best I could in any particular situation.
The colleague with the outburst today was justified in her frustration, but not justified in her expressively negative reaction and style of communication. The far reaching effects of my "epiphany day" on May 15th do not allow me to take such violations of my personal space without firmly standing up and calmly expressing myself in regards to what's appropriate and what isn't acceptable any longer. Since this blog is also read by many people local to me who are familiar with my colleagues, I'll stop sharing any more of this "moment." Rest assured, it's a new day. And the Sean of today isn't the Sean of yesterday. I will not tolerate what was once a given, ever again.
I rediscovered my stress trigger today. Yes indeed, the stress of today's heated "moment" sent me racing up the stairs of my apartment building and toward my fridge with camera in hand ready to photograph and tweet a hastily consumed snack. I wasn't hungry at all--it was purely a reaction to the stressful circumstance at work. I opened the fridge and the first thing I laid eyes on was the jar of peanut butter. "Come here, you!" I actually contemplated taking a picture of a peanut butter covered finger before I came to my senses and stepped away from the fridge.
I had to take pause and assess how I was feeling in the moment and why I was feeling compelled. It was proof positive that even though I'm thankfully void of the binges triggered by the bio-chemical reactions of sugar consumption, I'm still very much human and capable of being triggered by straight up stress, especially when the stress comes from a confrontational moment. Normal everyday stress doesn't seem to have the same effect. I suppose when the stress comes from something you've lived your entire life trying to avoid, it's bound to have a much greater effect. Once I was able to gather my thoughts and truly recognize my genuine needs, I realized what I needed was sleep. So I did just that. I slept well, too long for a nap. It's left me wide awake too late once again. But today, I'm okay with it all. My body said "sleep," and I obeyed. Yay, me!
My plan was to have dinner followed by a workout at the YMCA. Instead, I enjoyed a fabulous dinner and opted to make this my rest day from exercise. I relaxed and enjoyed some me time, including some peaceful mental planning of some exciting upcoming projects. I enjoyed a much needed, refreshing conversation via phone with my sweetheart, Heather. We laughed so much and admitted we could talk all night, very easily. She's actually coming over tomorrow evening for a special dinner and first meeting with both my daughters and grandson Noah. I haven't decided on the menu just yet, but I'm confident it'll be wonderful, whatever it is. I was thinking about grilling, but I'm starting to lean toward a taco bar type meal. (Me choosing Mexican food--I'm so predictable!) I'll figure it out, no worries!
The conversation with Heather, another wonderful conversation with Courtney and a nice call to mom, turned out to be the perfect peaceful punctuation to an otherwise stressful day. I finished strong today. I experienced a stress trigger and lived to tell the tale. I stood up for myself and the world didn't come to an end...which is very interesting, because there was a time in my life when I was convinced otherwise.
My Tweets today:
Lennon & McCartney inspired. I want to find more. Surely there's an "All You Need Is Love," one. 30CX2=60cal. pic.twitter.com/Q8yFxJ73Yu
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2014
Plain two cheese omelet (2 whole/2whites) with mozzarella and swiss. Anjou pear, Fuji apple. 493 cal. pic.twitter.com/FWprv5RDh5
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2014
Fajita tacos w/steak (1.5 oz), chicken (1.5oz) and shrimp, topped with fresh avocado (115g), light sr crm. 537 cal. pic.twitter.com/Z3gCGvMTKL
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 4, 2014
Tilapia loins with baked sweet potato medallions and baked @PyureSweet Organic Stevia & cinnamon apples. 572 cal. YUM pic.twitter.com/jFFvJrrVSH
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 5, 2014
Enjoying the sweetest most perfectly ripe cantaloupe (238g) while I write tonight's blog post. #lastfoodofday 81 cal. pic.twitter.com/bmFyi6Rn4V
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) September 5, 2014
Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
