July 1st, 2014 I'm a Former Skeptic
The weather coverage kept me at work until after 2am this morning. By the time I hit the pillow it was after 2:30 and when the alarm started sounding at 5am, I slept right through. Sorry, neighbors! I finally pulled myself out of bed 8 minutes before 6am, eight minutes before I'm supposed to be one of the most wide awake, friendly voices you'll hear on morning radio. Wasn't happening this morning. I called the studio and arranged for a colleague to cover until I arrived. I did arrive a few minutes before 7am. I do not sacrifice my food plan, even in a rush. I took the time to prepare breakfast and pack what I needed for lunch. This practice is too important. I'm important. More so, considering I would possibly be tired and slightly irritable with plenty of mid-morning production and no time for a post-show nap. I'm pretty sure I owe a couple of sales staffers an apology for being uncharacteristically irritable to their needs today.
When the schedule renders me too tired and cranky for my own good, that's when I must be very careful and very deliberate in my plan. If I'm too tired and I haven't planned well, I'm at risk for a perfect storm of not caring mixed with convenience.
I had an offer for free lunch today. A colleague was headed to a local family owned and operated fast food Mexican restaurant and on the way out, he asked if I wanted lunch. Before you think Taco Bell, let me explain: This place is much better. It's been a staple of this town since the 1970's and they're constantly busy. I can't count the number of lunches I've enjoyed from this place, especially since they're located a few blocks from our studios. Everything there is big and heavy--delicious. When you get shredded cheese on something, they don't skimp--ever. I've had a bean burrito from there before that must have had 250 calories worth of cheese and 400 calories worth of beans stuffed inside a large flour tortilla. It's premium stuff as fast food Mexican goes. I would have likely accepted the lunch offer had I not been prepared today. I could have navigated a few different choices and been okay--perhaps a taco salad without the edible bowl, but it would have required an ample amount of guesstimating and I try to keep the guesstimating to a minimum.
I was ready for a small snack and a much deserved nap by the time I arrived home after 2:30pm. It was a solid nap. It was the kind of nap that makes this previously untreated sleep apnea sufferer wake up and immediately express gratitude for the blessing of good sleep. I'll never again take restful sleep for granted as long as I live. I was up in plenty of time to start preparing a fabulous dinner and prepare for my weekly support group conference call I co-facilitate with Life Coach Gerri Helms. (By the way--a new 6 week session starts soon if you're interested in joining us--I'll share registration details soon.)
The only problem with a really good hour and forty-five minute nap--and this is in no way a complaint--, is, it's hard to be tired enough for a proper bedtime. Fortunately, tomorrow is a short day for me and followed by a four day weekend. I will once again host our annual 4th of July broadcast from the lake, but it's in the evening of course, not requiring me to be up super early like normal work days.
A friend of mine, after reading last night's blog post, asked me if I'm at all sad about all of the sweet foods I'll miss in my continued abstinence from sugar. Honestly, no, I'm not! Trust me, I've eaten more Snickers Bars and mint chocolate chip ice cream shakes to last me a lifetime--and if I never have another, I would still have eaten more than the average person. It's a trade. I trade the temporary indulgence of those items and others for a lifetime free of the effects sugar undoubtedly has on me. I'm getting the good end of the deal here.
By the way, I'm very aware of the skepticism food addiction and more specifically, sugar addiction sometimes receives. I was once one of the biggest skeptics. What you need to know about me is, I'm a big believer in the power we have to convince ourselves we're something we may not be--applying a label and allowing it to become part of our identity in some form of obsessive-compulsive belief started with a big self-diagnosis. What I hope you recognize is, through my trials and real life personal experimentation and study, I'm now, without a doubt, one thousand percent convinced that food/sugar addiction is as real and powerful as any other addiction and resulting behavior. I suppose you could say I had to find out the hard way.
I've referred many times to food addiction in my previous writings, even in my book. The patterns of behavior I've described throughout my history is a brutal combination of emotional/stress eating and addictive reaction behaviors. What kept me skeptical for so long--was the theory that my behaviors could be regulated in a way, allowing me to have a somewhat normal relationship with all foods. Seriously, I lost 275 pounds "regulating" all the way! As soon as I loosened the regulations, struggle returned and so did excessive amounts of weight. I'd rather "regulate" within a few specific boundaries and have it be something I can live with forever, rather than walk a tight rope the rest of my life.
If you're normal and you can achieve a relatively healthy relationship with all foods, then you're blessed and I'm very happy for you. I can't. I'm not normal. And saying "I'm not normal" isn't something of a bad thing, not at all. It means I have special needs worthy of my extra attention. And I'm worth the effort.
Once upon a time, my resistance of acceptance would build immediately in the presence of someone touting the practices and benefits of food addiction recovery in the traditional sense. My previous skepticism was grounded in my desperate attempt to hold onto something I felt I needed to keep in order to survive. It's interesting to me that the reality of my personal situation is quite contrary: My survival actually depends on my ability, willingness and acceptance of letting go.
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Workout and dinner tonight were both fantastic. If you're interested, I post a picture and calorie counts of everything I eat to my Twitter feed: www.twitter.com/seanaanderson (You do NOT need a Twitter account to view the page and tweets--only to interact) It's not meant to be an example, a standard, a suggestion or anything like that. We're all different. I eat what I like and nothing I don't. And you may or may not like what I enjoy. I refuse to eat something I can't stand as a means to an end along this road. Because, my friend, this road doesn't end until the day we die. It's not my point to endure something until a set goal is reached--it's my point to craft a journey I can enjoy the rest of my God given time on earth.
Tomorrow is my 10 week weigh-in day. I'm incredibly excited to walk into the doctors office and step on the scale. I'll save the guesses and I'll be prepared for whatever the scale shows.
Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
Showing posts with label weigh-in. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weigh-in. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
June 11th, 2014 Weigh-In Edition
June 11th, 2014 Weigh-In Edition
One of the things I explored during my initial weight loss was the emotional/psychological effects of weighing. I knew how the scale had effected me in the past and I refused to give it that power any longer. One weigh-in where the results didn't measure up to my expectations, and my mood and attitude would do an immediate 180. I worked so hard, didn't I? Of course it creates uncertainty about everything we're doing...and since many of the things we're doing seem slightly foreign as we work at building new habits and behaviors, it's easy to let one bad weigh-in become the catalyst, throwing it all out the window...our plans, our hopes, our dreams, our health...everything. A less-than-expected weigh-in result could mean several things: You're retaining water, you're building lean muscle, your metabolism is set to super low, thyroid issues, accuracy issues in tracking/counting, and several more, I'm sure. Whatever the number, it doesn't define you and it doesn't say anything bad about you and what you're doing. It's not an accurate indicator of whether or not you're doing anything right or wrong. It's simply a check up to see how your body is responding to what you're doing. If it isn't moving for prolonged periods of time even after making adjustments to your approach, then a doctors visit is in order to rule out things like the above mentioned thyroid issue. But there's a flip side to this scale emotions/psychology dynamic.
I weighed today and discovered a 16 pound loss for the last three weeks. This brings my total loss for the last seven weeks to 41 pounds. Having experienced this "it comes off faster in the beginning" dynamic before, I know not to put too much stock in these numbers. It's different when you start from a much larger weight like me. It does come off faster at first. I've paid special attention to my nutrition better than I ever have before and I've made it important to exercise at least six times a week. I'm eating well and moving my body and thank God, it's responding in a positive way. I'm very grateful. If I only had 20 or 30 pounds to lose, then a much slower weight loss and smaller number would be expected and considered fantastic. It's all relative to the individual. One person's 20 is another person's 150. The dynamics in play are largely the same, only the numbers are proportionate to the unique individual. What I'm saying is...
This quick start will slow in a dramatic fashion. So, as pleased as I am with the numbers thus far, I'm not allowing my early success to give me an inappropriate level of expectation for future weigh-ins. It's worth noting that during my initial 275 pound weight loss, I lost the first 200 pounds in slightly over 10 months--then, I spent the next year and four months losing the last 75 pounds. I lost 275 pounds in 26 months and 1 day...and that averages out to 2.6 pounds per week. When you analyze the numbers like that, it's perfectly reasonable. It all catches up and levels off. My body will adjust, demand to be challenged more in the exercise department and it will respond differently as I proceed. The important thing is, I shall proceed regardless. When my approach needs adjustment (and it will), I'll be open to adjusting. I'm convinced had I upped my calories from 1500 and dramatically increased my workout intensity/routine, I could have lost the last 75 of my initial weight loss, much quicker than 16 months. Hindsight is golden with the proper perspective. But the larger point is, this is a learning process. It's a unique to the individual, learning experience. And as long as we allow ourselves to be open to learning, then we can only improve the quality of our journey.
Weigh-In May 21st, 2014
Weigh-In today June 11th, 2014
-----------------------------------------
Today was a challenge in other areas, namely sleep/rest. It was a very long day and since I insist on postponing breakfast until after my weigh-in at the doctors office, everything was late. I had a late breakfast, a late lunch and a late dinner. I didn't leave the studio until after 5pm and it was in that moment I had to make a decision. Do I go straight to the Y for a workout? Or do I do what my body is screaming for me to do, go home and go to sleep for a good nap. Common sense says workout first, prepare dinner, write and actually get to bed at a decent time--but this is where my unique set of personal circumstances come into play. I knew we were expecting storms overnight. I'm on call 24/7 during severe weather season. If severe weather threatens our listening area, I'm headed to work to report the details live as it happens. Gayle Williams shares this responsibility with me and together we've won back to back Oklahoma Association of Broadcasters Broadcasting Excellence Awards for our coverage in 2012 and 2013. We take severe weather coverage VERY seriously around here and it shows in our commitment. Knowing that there was a 90% chance of me being activated late or in the middle of the night, I chose option B. I headed straight home for a good nap, just in case I needed the rejuvenation for later in the night.
I prepared a late dinner and dessert (cinnamon/Stevia baked pears) and I feel good. I had planned to get a late night workout in, but instead opted to allow this to be my one day without a workout. I'll be fine and I will experience the elliptical at the YMCA again tomorrow.
As I write this, I'm monitoring a large line of severe thunderstorms moving toward our listening area. In fact, just now a warning was issued for Grant county, the county immediately to our West. It's likely not in our listening area just yet, but will be very soon. As expected, I'm headed back to work shortly. I'm confident I made the right decisions today and I feel fantastic about this tremendously positive momentum I'm enjoying. As I proceed one day at a time, I'm paying special attention to my awareness of emotions, stress and attitude--and how these effect my perspective and resolve at particular points throughout any given day. I'm learning so much about myself!
Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
One of the things I explored during my initial weight loss was the emotional/psychological effects of weighing. I knew how the scale had effected me in the past and I refused to give it that power any longer. One weigh-in where the results didn't measure up to my expectations, and my mood and attitude would do an immediate 180. I worked so hard, didn't I? Of course it creates uncertainty about everything we're doing...and since many of the things we're doing seem slightly foreign as we work at building new habits and behaviors, it's easy to let one bad weigh-in become the catalyst, throwing it all out the window...our plans, our hopes, our dreams, our health...everything. A less-than-expected weigh-in result could mean several things: You're retaining water, you're building lean muscle, your metabolism is set to super low, thyroid issues, accuracy issues in tracking/counting, and several more, I'm sure. Whatever the number, it doesn't define you and it doesn't say anything bad about you and what you're doing. It's not an accurate indicator of whether or not you're doing anything right or wrong. It's simply a check up to see how your body is responding to what you're doing. If it isn't moving for prolonged periods of time even after making adjustments to your approach, then a doctors visit is in order to rule out things like the above mentioned thyroid issue. But there's a flip side to this scale emotions/psychology dynamic.
I weighed today and discovered a 16 pound loss for the last three weeks. This brings my total loss for the last seven weeks to 41 pounds. Having experienced this "it comes off faster in the beginning" dynamic before, I know not to put too much stock in these numbers. It's different when you start from a much larger weight like me. It does come off faster at first. I've paid special attention to my nutrition better than I ever have before and I've made it important to exercise at least six times a week. I'm eating well and moving my body and thank God, it's responding in a positive way. I'm very grateful. If I only had 20 or 30 pounds to lose, then a much slower weight loss and smaller number would be expected and considered fantastic. It's all relative to the individual. One person's 20 is another person's 150. The dynamics in play are largely the same, only the numbers are proportionate to the unique individual. What I'm saying is...
This quick start will slow in a dramatic fashion. So, as pleased as I am with the numbers thus far, I'm not allowing my early success to give me an inappropriate level of expectation for future weigh-ins. It's worth noting that during my initial 275 pound weight loss, I lost the first 200 pounds in slightly over 10 months--then, I spent the next year and four months losing the last 75 pounds. I lost 275 pounds in 26 months and 1 day...and that averages out to 2.6 pounds per week. When you analyze the numbers like that, it's perfectly reasonable. It all catches up and levels off. My body will adjust, demand to be challenged more in the exercise department and it will respond differently as I proceed. The important thing is, I shall proceed regardless. When my approach needs adjustment (and it will), I'll be open to adjusting. I'm convinced had I upped my calories from 1500 and dramatically increased my workout intensity/routine, I could have lost the last 75 of my initial weight loss, much quicker than 16 months. Hindsight is golden with the proper perspective. But the larger point is, this is a learning process. It's a unique to the individual, learning experience. And as long as we allow ourselves to be open to learning, then we can only improve the quality of our journey.
Weigh-In May 21st, 2014
Weigh-In today June 11th, 2014
-----------------------------------------
Today was a challenge in other areas, namely sleep/rest. It was a very long day and since I insist on postponing breakfast until after my weigh-in at the doctors office, everything was late. I had a late breakfast, a late lunch and a late dinner. I didn't leave the studio until after 5pm and it was in that moment I had to make a decision. Do I go straight to the Y for a workout? Or do I do what my body is screaming for me to do, go home and go to sleep for a good nap. Common sense says workout first, prepare dinner, write and actually get to bed at a decent time--but this is where my unique set of personal circumstances come into play. I knew we were expecting storms overnight. I'm on call 24/7 during severe weather season. If severe weather threatens our listening area, I'm headed to work to report the details live as it happens. Gayle Williams shares this responsibility with me and together we've won back to back Oklahoma Association of Broadcasters Broadcasting Excellence Awards for our coverage in 2012 and 2013. We take severe weather coverage VERY seriously around here and it shows in our commitment. Knowing that there was a 90% chance of me being activated late or in the middle of the night, I chose option B. I headed straight home for a good nap, just in case I needed the rejuvenation for later in the night.
I prepared a late dinner and dessert (cinnamon/Stevia baked pears) and I feel good. I had planned to get a late night workout in, but instead opted to allow this to be my one day without a workout. I'll be fine and I will experience the elliptical at the YMCA again tomorrow.
As I write this, I'm monitoring a large line of severe thunderstorms moving toward our listening area. In fact, just now a warning was issued for Grant county, the county immediately to our West. It's likely not in our listening area just yet, but will be very soon. As expected, I'm headed back to work shortly. I'm confident I made the right decisions today and I feel fantastic about this tremendously positive momentum I'm enjoying. As I proceed one day at a time, I'm paying special attention to my awareness of emotions, stress and attitude--and how these effect my perspective and resolve at particular points throughout any given day. I'm learning so much about myself!
Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
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