Since our last edition: I've maintained the integrity of my food plan boundaries, I've remained refined sugar-free, I've met or exceeded my daily water goal, I've enjoyed some really good walks and a few body-weight strength routines. I've also stayed well connected with exceptional support.
I donated blood yesterday. To me, it's no small thing. Every time, I'm reminded of the times I was turned away because my physical condition rendered me unsafe/unfit to donate. My life is full of reaffirming examples of why the continued care of this daily practice is important for my wellness. And in the case of donating blood, important for others, too. I don't notice or acknowledge all of the examples in every situation. But they're there if I pause long enough to pay attention and express gratitude. Being able to donate blood because my vitals are great is an easy one to recognize, I suppose.
The seatbelt is another one. I don't even think about it today. I click it without a second thought. The thought of not wearing the seatbelt is horrifying to me, yet, at over 500 pounds the seatbelt simply didn't fit. An extender? Never even considered one. I was content with taking my chances. That seems so absurd to me now. In the depths of my addiction, it does make sense. I made very little time for the most important things back then.
The "will I fit?" anxiety was always running in the background of my heaviest days. Restaurants, waiting rooms, chairs at work, social situations, and of course airports. Yeah-- thank goodness I was never a frequent flyer because those trips to an airport always came with loads of anxiety starting way before the actual departure date.
But all of that stuff is actually the smallest of differences. The physical changes my continued recovery helps maintain are great, but they pale in comparison to the mental, emotional, and spiritual improvements this recovery based daily practice creates. There isn't a device to measure that progress. The measuring is found in peace, calm, and acceptance. But it isn't written or spoken, it must be lived, one day at a time and its proof are in the actions, not in the words. I must remember that and practice this daily. If I ever doubt this level of transformation exists, I must close my mouth and open my eyes and ears to others along this road.
Fathers Day was special. Wanna see the two best gifts ever?
From my oldest, Amber: "Happy Father's day!!! You are an amazing dad and a wonderful PoPo! Rae lights up when she sees her PoPo. Grateful for our humor and closeness. Thank you for being there for me always with love and guidance. I love you so very much!"
From my youngest, Courtney: "Happy father's day dad! Thank you for always being there for me and always offering your words of wisdom. You'll never truly know just how much I love and admire you! I love you so much"
Their words for me on that special day meant so much. Despite all of the mistakes I made along the way of their childhoods and despite the fact that my love and nurturing was constantly going through the filters of my addiction...just enough made it through, clearly---and now, with a daily practice of emotional, mental, and spiritual clearing, I'm able to be more present and supportive for them and my grandkids. The level of gratitude I feel for this opportunity is beyond words.
Oh, and there was a new air-fryer involved, too. This air-fryer has certainly added some options to my food plan. If you follow my accountability posts on Instagram you could easily get the impression that it's all about the food. It isn't. If I take care of the above-mentioned things, the food plan goes okay--more as a side effect of the deeper elements of the daily practice. If I focus only on the food, I'll quickly lose it all. The daily accountability postings are basically an ongoing companion back up to the daily MyFitnessPal logging. The evolution of my food plan must honor my trigger list of foods and boundaries (no refined sugar being a big one)--and from there, I do my best to make it as enjoyable as possible. The time and attention I take in weighing, measuring, logging, and posting--creates a good amount of pause--and that slows me down, allowing me to be more mindful and aware of what I'm putting in my mouth.
Mom is doing very well these days. I just spoke with her. I'll be doing some shopping for her this evening. She needs some things! I can take here things--but the procedure is, they keep it in quarantine for 24 hours before it's delivered to her room. I'm very grateful for the care and attention she receives from where she lives. She called me the other day, clearly full of energy and enthusiasm---she had joined the exercise class outdoors in the sunshine. The fresh air, sun, and movement did something magical for her. It was coming through loud and clear over the phone. I hope she chooses to join them on a regular basis.
What I'm about to write might need to go into the category of "I'll believe it when I see/hear it." However, I'm going to mention it anyway. I've decided to bring back my podcast, Transformation Planet. I know, I know--I've said that before, but really, I am. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it before releasing a new episode--but oh well, I don't feel like erasing it now. My podcast is available wherever you find your favorite podcasts--in Apple Podcasts, Google Play, various other podcasting platforms, and now it's also available on Spotify, which seems to be on its way to becoming a major home for podcasting. If you've never listened to it, twenty episodes await your ears! If you have listened to those and you're rolling your eyes right now because you long ago deleted it from your list of podcasts, please please add it back.
The driving thought process powering this decision is: The content isn't as important as the consistency of the action. Actually, that thought process---oh my, I can apply that to so many things, right? How many things have we not attempted or continued because we embraced an all or nothing mentality??---a perfection or forget it type thing?? My hand is raised high for certain things. Yet, on other things, I've been able to allow consistency over content thinking and it's changed my life. I'm not expecting my podcast to change my life. But it'll be good for me to do it up--and keep it up!
Wish me the best on that, please. And please redownload it if you long ago deleted it!
Daily Accountability via Social Media:
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 27, 2020
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
My Twitter: SeanAAnderson
Facebook: www.facebook.com/seananderson505
Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!
Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com
