Day 867-874
A Slight Gain and The Video: Ten Minutes To Transformation Road
Weigh day was always an event. It was a special day designated to collect the positive proof of a strong and consistent effort. The excitement leading up to weigh day was at times, overwhelming in a giddy-positive way, because I knew what was coming. I could feel it in my clothes and all over my body. The scale would give me what I came for and I wouldn't make it out of the parking lot before sending out a mass text of the latest number, complete with a day count and total that was consistently impressive. The contacts in my cell phone remember these updates very well.
The sting of a weigh day that didn't give me what I felt I rightly deserved, would make me slightly depressed for a few minutes, or--OK, let's be honest, several hours. But at a certain point I realized that time didn't matter. I'm in this for the long haul, for the rest of my life, forever. So why did I choose to discourage myself when the results were less than desirable? Because it's normal to get impatient when we're doing everything we know we must to achieve what we desire. I don't get that way anymore. Time doesn't matter. What does matter, is my changed relationship with food. What does matter is that I realized I wasn't in a race with anyone. I realized that I wasn't competing with anyone or comparing my weight loss with anyone's track record.
I recently walked into the urgent care clinic and asked if I could use the scale. I hadn't weighed in over six weeks and it was time. I stepped on and found 233 staring back at me. I didn't send out an update, I didn't cry foul, I didn't blame the scale. I didn't worry about it at all. Why? Because I'm in control of my behaviors with food. I've experimented with my calorie budget, I've slightly increased my consumption, and my workouts haven't been as consistent as they should. My size 36 jeans still fit, but still--I could feel this four pound gain. It is a slight gain, compared to what I've lost. And it's temporary. A few more workouts, and just like that--I'm back under 230. And honestly, I may dip even lower. It's a healthy-normal to fluctuate slightly. As long as my relationship with food is solid, I have nothing to worry over. And solid is a wonderful word to describe it, because these changes in perspective are not of the temporary kind. My immediate plan includes adjusting my calorie bank to 1,700 per day and increasing my workout schedule.
I tried out a new machine at the YMCA and I absolutely fell in love! It's like an elliptical, OK--It is an elliptical--just slightly different than the others. I'll find out what it's called and get back with you. Oh my, it was killer. After twenty minutes, my muscles were sent twitching all the way home!
I finally have a new CPAP machine! Yay!!! I can finally rest again. I must say--constantly feeling like a wreck has wreaked havoc on my schedule and my productivity, as anyone might expect. The good news: After the first night on my new machine with the proper setting, I can tell--this is going to be very good. This machine is going to be life changing!
The Girls Scouts dropped off a bunch of cookies at our studios the other day. They leave a sampling every year and every year, we talk about the cookies on the air. I immediately compared all of the calorie counts and determined that the shortbread Trefoils were the best, at 34 calories each. I enjoyed two right then and there. Lucky for me, shortbread cookies have always been my favorite, followed by Thinmints--(40 calories each) If my co-workers only knew how many of these boxes were hidden away in years past, saved for my own private analysis and review. I had to talk about them on the air, so it was justified, right? Isn't it amazing, the stories we tell ourselves!
I recently received an email from a gentleman asking me about possibly advertising something on my blog. When I declined without asking for further details, he told me that I was "missing the boat." I referred him to day 165. We've covered this before! Here's an excerpt:
"My Integrity Isn't For Sale" I originally accepted these advertisers as a way to earn extra income from my blog. But I've learned a lesson in the process. You see, Google would automatically scan my blog and then place ads that somewhat related to my topic. Since my topic is always losing weight and getting healthy, of course they placed ads about a variety of products. The revenue generated was based on per click and per order numbers. It never really added up to too much, but tonight I proudly tell you that I recently told Google to keep that money and go away!
My reputation and integrity is worth more than random checks in the mail from Google, no matter the amount. If you ever noticed these, most of them were advertising crazy products with claims like “Lose 18 Pounds in 4 Days!” or “How I Lost 45 Pounds In Three Weeks-order Now,” or “Oprah Approved Product Will Melt Your Fat Away.” For one thing, Oprah doesn't endorse, let alone approve the Acai Berry product---it says that on her website. And neither do I. Nor do I endorse losing 18 pounds in 4 days, or 45 pounds in 3 weeks...or any product that makes such claims.
I sincerely hope that none of my readers bought this junk. It feels so good to be free from the spying eyes of Google Ads. I couldn't say what I just typed, had I still been using Google Ads. They would have been upset! It says so in the contract. Any derogatory comments about the products or services advertised is grounds for immediate termination of my Google Ads account. Now that I think about it, I should have tested how closely they monitored my blog by exposing the outright scandalous rip-offs as they popped up. Might have been fun to see how long it would take them to dump me. They're gone, and I no longer have to cringe every time I open the page and see “I Lost 9 pounds in 5 minutes...” OK, I made that one up. I think the claim was in 1 day actually.
The people that buy this kind of advertising do it for one reason, to take advantage of people with desperate emotions, who are looking for anything that works and are willing to spend whatever it takes to get it done. I'm ashamed they ever appeared on this blog in the first place. Lesson learned: You can't put a price on your integrity, never, ever, ever!
On that same day--I found an excerpt all about how the exercise becomes easier. I know this is a long blog post already, but:
Tonight at the YMCA I was feeling adventurous! My plan was to do a “hard” two miles. For me, a hard two consist of simply setting the speed at 3.6 mph. I immediately get my heart rate amped up at 3.6, but tonight I wanted to see what I could handle, because soon 3.6 mph will no longer qualify as a “hard” anything. So I tried 3.8 mph. Ok, I can do this...a little different, but doable. Then at about seven minutes in I decided to get crazy. Why not? What's the worst that could happen? Maybe I have to pull the emergency stop plug? I reached down and pressed the button twice taking me to an impressive 4.0 mph! I not only handled it, I stayed there for the rest of the two miles! I've posted an “On The Go” video straight from the treadmill below! What an amazing workout! When I first climbed on that thing months ago, I couldn't even think about getting past 2.9 mph...in fact many times I did 2.7 mph! I know I've said it often, but I'm showing you proof of this everyday: It gets easier and easier! Just keep that in mind if you too are doing this, and perhaps just getting started. When you feel like it's “impossible,” it's not. When you can't imagine ever doing more, you can, and when you're “just not feeling it” Do It ANYWAY! Remember...consistent, positive effort gets results every time. You just have to be patient and trust that the results will come, because believe me, they do!
Let's visit the mailbag, shall we? I opened up my inbox this morning and found the most wonderful message:
I've been reading your blog from start to finish and am in AWE of your writing ability... and I'm a tough critic. Your words have cut through 26 years of my "analysis paralysis". I was constantly revising my approach to weight loss (do mental gymnastics burn calories? I wish!) Needless to say, I just kept getting fatter. Simple is BEST. This time I am making sure I have nothing to rebel against, or as you said, "What if you couldn't cheat?" I could not do it any other way. I'm down 50 pounds, 120-130 more to go, and for the first time, I'm totally confident that I'll get there, and that is due in large part to you being down the road, holding a lantern, yelling, "This way! Just keep walking!" You are just the best, and I'm so very impressed with your devotion, conviction, humility, sense of humor, and graciousness. Tired of people putting you on a pedestal yet? : ) Get used to it, my friend, there are great things in your future, and the world needs your insights as never before. Just wanted to add one more thing... of all the qualities that you possess as a leader, the one that stands out most of all is that you genuinely seem to care about people, and not just people in general, but people as individuals. You remind me very much of Richard Simmons in this way. Also, you have the kind of warmth that makes people really care about YOU. It is something more than charisma... it is WARMTH (and that will make you always more handsome than Tom Cruise). HUGS- Becky
I absolutely love the phrase "analysis paralysis!" It is such an on-target phrase. When you read message like this, you can feel the excitement, the joy, the absolute life changing attitude. It's a wonderful thing in so many ways. I share it, in the hopes that their words might help someone else find that spark within--that epiphany that brings it all together, for the first time in years. We all have the power to inspire.
Shane had this to say about the last post:
Sean, I love the beginning story! That is too cool dude! I got a little reminiscent reading the e mail from that lady. I too remember getting started reading your blog from beginning and gaining inspiration that this way of losing weight, really does work! I have to tell you, my changes have been many over the past 6 plus months have been amazing. My body, my attitude, my perception of portions of food, and my fitness level.... and I know you will try to deflect this, but I do owe it in large part to you being brave enough to take your journey, and to put your story out there for all to see and be inspired by. Thank you my friend, from the bottom of my heart. --Shane in Arkansas
And this comes from April in Alabama:
Sean I began reading your blog mid July 2010, I read one(and of course all the new ones)a day, I think about each day and really try to recall your advice! I love your message I began my weight lost journey with a whole new approach when I started to read this blog!! I am down 45 pounds and have 55 more to go!!:) You are such an inspiration!! I wish you all the best on maintaining and spreading your enthusiasm for Healthy Lives to all!!! --April in Alabama
Isn't that exciting! But as wonderful as it is--something still bugs me horribly.
I have close friends and loved ones that struggle so very hard along this road, and I wish I could take their hand and do it for them. I can't, only they can. But what's so hard to understand is--how two people can read the same blog, word for word, and one person is completely ready to "see" it and the other isn't. And when the other is someone very close to me, it makes it especially hard. I've thought about this a bunch lately and here's what I've concluded:
We're all at different points along our road. Just as it took me nearly twenty years to finally "see," it takes some longer than others. Some never get there. And it makes me sad. I wonder if my close personal loved ones have a harder time because it's me writing this blog. They've known the "Old" Sean much longer than this new version and maybe that somehow discounts my message. All I can do is hope and pray that like so many others, they too will arrive at that point within themselves someday soon. I know that it can't be hurried along unnaturally. And it can't be done for them. I so wish it could, because I would...in a heartbeat.
Thank you for reading. The following video is a ten minute presentation edited from my Lose To Win Seminar on January 13th at the Poncan Theatre. Deke Media, Dekeonline.com handled the footage and post production. They did a wonderful job! Thank you Deke Media!
I hope you'll friend me on facebook! Just search for me using my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com
Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day 854-866 The Man In The Next Booth, Living and Learning, and Re-Focusing The Fundamentals
Day 854-866
The Man In The Next Booth, Living and Learning, and Re-Focusing The Fundamentals
I walked into the restaurant with a beautiful date on my arm and a plan. I always have a strategy ready when I dine out and it's always very simple. I order water with lemon. If I want a "lemonade," I ask for extra lemons, then I use sweetener to taste. Since most restaurant portions are enough to feed two or three people, sharing is most always practiced. I avoid the appetizers and I avoid the bread, pre-meal, knowing that I'll enjoy one when the meal arrives. At Texas Roadhouse, they'll bring you as many rolls as you can handle. And they're incredible little things, really. Perfectly baked to perfection--hot, buttery, with a taste that makes you want to know what exactly it is they put in these things. I'm not sure what it is, but it's something very hard to resist, especially for a bread lover like me. But I calmly remind myself that I'll have one soon, as quickly as the meal arrives.
I love fried catfish, I think we've established that before. And this place does it so well. And the portion they put on a plate just absolutely begs a reasonably sane person to do one of two things: Either share or get a box and take half of it home. I always opt to share. 1/2 a baked potato and a couple of catfish fillets, plus a roll--makes for a wonderful meal. It's not too much or too little, it's just perfect. This is the plan and it works, every time.
I always remember "Old Sean," in these situations. I remember how foreign it would have been to even suggest sharing a meal like this. Instead of being nearly appalled at the enormous serving sizes, I would have applauded them for the value and the feast that I most certainly would have joyously stuffed in every last bite--along with extra rolls and butter--and more peanuts please! I always needed an antacid after a big meal. I never need one now. And I'm still satisfied and happy. Hmmm...This is nice.
The best part of this restaurant visit wasn't the different attitude and approach that my new relationship with food provides. It was the company in the next booth. Let me explain: As we were being seated, I thought I recognized the gentleman in the booth up ahead. When he loudly exclaimed, "Sean Anderson," I immediately knew who it was. He looked so different from the last time I saw him. It was the tattoo artist that gave me my "505" tattoo. When he gave me my tattoo, he weighed 460 pounds--Now, he's 156 pounds lighter--looks completely different, and in his words, "I feel twenty years younger!"
We talked about his journey and the questions people ask him about his "plan." When he describes how he eats less and exercises all the time, most people are less than thrilled. I've experienced that same thing!!! He mentioned how he can't wait for summer, because he'll be able to do things that he hasn't in years. His eyes were lighting up at the thought. It was genuine happiness. The beautiful lady across from him was smiling from ear to ear too. She surely sees an amazing difference in this former 460 pound man that goes way beyond the obvious physical changes. It was an amazing little visit. And as he walked away, I couldn't help but stare--and smile. He thanked me for inspiring him. And now--he's going to inspire so many more with his brilliant enthusiasm for life. The chance encounter of it all, made this night out extra special. I experienced over-whelming joy for him and his success that he's worked so hard to achieve. The guy is amazing--and it thrills me to know him.
It's always interesting that we have similar experiences when trying to answer the question, "How are you doing it?" It's so natural to look for the easy way out along this road. I did for so many years. And if someone told me that it was a lifestyle change (and they did many times), and that I had to eat less and exercise more, and battle myself to stay true to the mission of change--well, I was always disappointed. This thought is exactly what inspired a blog posting from February 2009. let's go back in the archives, shall we?
From Day 163 "The Insane Search for Anything that Works and An Unlikely Dinner"
I searched for years, well, not really actively searching everyday, but curious always at least, wondering what really works? I was conditioned by our culture and society from an early age to believe in order to lose weight, you had to have a plan. Not your own sensible plan, because that would be too simple and free, and we know that if it's free it can't work, no, no, no...we gotta pay to lose weight if we expect results. We need someone else's plan!
A plan or product someone else designed and now charges large amounts of money for. Now if this plan is all about learning portion control, self-analysis, and exercising, then great...sounds good, but kinda boring...and boring doesn't sell. I want amazing success claims! I want you to tell me that I can basically sleep and gorge all day long and still lose weight.
I always thought that the secret must be in a product or system somewhere on a store shelf near me. When I would run into someone who had lost weight, my first question was always: “How did you do it?” This is often the first question that comes to mind for anyone. I always wanted to hear about a miraculous new product that would magically melt away my fat in the middle of the night while I slept regardless of my food intake or lack of exercise. As crazy as that idea sounds, that's exactly the message I've watched before on an infomercial in the middle of the night. Perhaps you've watched the same one. Did you notice the fine print too?
“Product to be used in conjunction with a regular diet and exercise regimen.” Really? I have to make an effort? Then why would I want to take these again? Do they even contain anything other than a placebo and a slick marketing campaign that targets the desperate and dangerously overweight at 2am?
But for years I had an open mind and a willing ear to listen to anyone that had any information on what worked. As long as that solution didn't involve certain things, like personal responsibility, educating myself on portion control, understanding, analyzing, and reconstructing my behaviors and please don't say exercise! Noooo! I can't move! What? You want me to kill myself?
Listen, I understand the hopeless feelings that consume grotesquely obese people. I've been one for years. The dream is a miracle cure, that never comes along. Oh sure, people lose weight on all kinds of products and systems. I'm not saying you can't lose weight on some of these things. People do everyday, but it's like spending money on cleaning up the mess from a broken sewer line, but not fixing the broken sewer line. Sorry, that's a gross but effective example...but you see what I mean, right? That's why so many people gain back everything they lost and more! They cleaned up the mess caused by the real problem, but they didn't address the real problem.
When they repeat the process over and over they call it...”Yo-Yo Dieting.” I've always heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result...that's yo-yo dieting! What has driven me to get down to the honest bare truth behind my lifelong battle with obesity? I don't have time to yo-yo any-mo-mo. That was kind of lame, but it made me laugh, so I'm good. I'm learning everyday about food and how to properly handle it, I'm learning about exercise and how to properly do it, and most importantly, I'm learning about me on a level I didn't know existed.
For the first time in my life I'm finally finding what I was looking for, and the strangest thing is, it was inside me all along, but I wasn't looking there. It's like searching for your lost car keys for 30 years, then one day finding them in your pocket where they'd always been.
It's time to read some wonderful mail! I absolutely love opening messages like the following. it's like a gift someone is giving me. It's feedback. It feels good to feel like we're making a difference. And I can't thank this reader enough for the wonderful time and energy they put into this email gift. In consideration of their privacy, I've taken out the name. This feels good:
"Hi Sean,
I just finished reading every day of your journey from the very beginning and I’m truly sad that I’m now all caught up and just waiting for you to write again. I started my journey on Oct 25 and by some miracle found your blog and started reading. As many people have stated, you are one hell of an inspiration and I truly am grateful that you wrote your journey down for the world to read. I too am counting calories and exercising and am proud to say that I now have dropped 30 pounds as of this morning and on the road to another 30 and then 30 more. Like you I love food and found it funny that you used Velveeta cheese in your last seminar to signify the weight loss as Velveeta is one of my weaknesses and that’s one food I haven’t touched since Oct 24. I too started with the “anything goes” philosophy but have found that the longer I go the more I don’t seem to care if I eat chocolate, Velveeta or KD. Weird how the mind set changes over time. I’m loving that I am down 2 sizes and can’t wait to be able to walk into any store and buy anything I want, right now I have to go to a “special” store that caters to us heavier people. I too just recently started to get the “have you lost weight” comments and man, does it feel good. I really was starting to wonder why nobody was commenting on it but now it seems every day I get at least one person and it thrills me every time.
Thank you for all that you have written and the knowledge you have passed along. I am forever grateful that I could read you any day when I thought I just couldn’t do this anymore. You have kept me on the right path and for that I am eternally grateful. I was talking to a friend this morning and she is starting her journey and I told her about your blog and that she should start from the very beginning, she plans on doing that right away and I hope she pays it forward and so on. I am so excited for you and all the wonderful things that have happened in your life. When you’re sad I’m sad for you, when you got the divorce I cried for you and when you’re happy I’m happy for you. I don’t know why some people have to be cruel and say things like “get over yourself” but damnit, those are the people that are either jealous or sick in some way and aren’t worth the worry. How anybody could not be amazed and inspired by you is something I do not understand. I totally get why you have to sometimes just stare at yourself in the mirror and marvel at what you’ve done as I too in the privacy of the bathroom have to do that myself. People that haven’t had a bad body image or have never had to fight with weight will never understand why we have to “admire” ourselves every once in awhile. The feeling of accomplishment is something we have to force our brain to see.
We’ve had 2 quick exchanges in the last couple of months but this is the biggest writing I’ve done to you as I know you are so very busy and trying to get the book done so I don’t like to bother you. I’ll probably never meet you in person but that’s okay, I still think of you as my weight loss buddy and will forever remember you and your amazing transformation and look forward to more writing on the blog.
CONGRATULATIONS on reaching your goal, I was thrilled when you got there, way to go!!! And I hope your sleep apnea gets fixed and that you can finally rest and get a good nights sleep, you deserve it. And I’ll be added to the long list of people that exclaim that you are one handsome man and I hope you find a wonderful lady that deserves you, or perhaps you already have with Karen, but that’s none of my business, I’ll shut up now.
Take care of yourself...a Canadian fan…"
What a blessing! Thank you, my friend! I'm so thrilled for your success!! You're absolutely doing it--and this time is different from any other!!
Sleep apnea. Oh my--yes, it's wreaked havoc on me in the last several months. I've now completed two sleep lab studies in the last month and I'm currently awaiting the final results and will soon be receiving a new prescription and setting for a CPAP machine. It has absolutely hurt my productivity in many ways. I'm always tired it seems and no matter how well I think I've slept, I'm always ready for a nap, even if I've only been up for a few hours. I'm really looking forward to experiencing real good rest again--The kind of sleep I remember from nearly ten years of sleeping successfully on a CPAP at my heaviest.
A couple of my blogging buddies stopped by the blog and commented recently. Tony "The Anti-Jared" Posnanski is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways. He has an amazing sense of humor too. I love his arms and he loves my voice, apparently:
"I want your smooth voice. You are listening to WRQZ in Orrrrlando. Coming up, Hall and Oates, but now, Hit me with your Best Shot, it's Pat Benetar. See, not even close to your voice."
You absolutely crack me up, Tony! Thank you, friend!!
Jack Sh*t, the king of weight loss blog comedy, but also someone with a very serious and caring heart--with a keen observant eye, and a genuine concern--writes:
"Boy, that not weighing in for a month scares me, Sean. The problem when you get out of that tightly focused losing mode is that it's a lot harder to shift it into gear than it was before (or at least that's what I've found). But you're right... it's still FANTASTIC, but the key is to keep it that way!"
Jack--thank you for this! You're absolutely right. And now, I still haven't weighed. I've been trying to trust myself at every turn, keeping myself in check, eating like a normal person--and seeing what happens. It will be interesting to see what the scale says. I didn't really set out to try this scale free six week period, but it certainly has become an interesting study within myself. And what have I found?
I'm not ready. I'm just not ready to be "normal." What is "normal" anyway? I need the structure that has brought me this far, I do. I need to lose a little more. And finding that balance that will maintain me for life--well, that is something I'll gradually and very naturally evolve into. For now--I'm tightening up the fundamentals that have delivered me from 505 pounds. And that tightening--includes weighing this week.
I have some amazing friends in this weight loss blogging community--and these two guys are very special to me. Thank you both, again!!!
After a friend gifted me with Truvia and Agave Nectar, I've been giving it a try instead of Splenda. I even purchased some Sun Crystals, the stevia/sugar hybrid stuff--at 5 calories per packet. I'll be honest--I prefer the taste of Splenda. But I'm giving this natural alternative a wonderful try---and I know it's better for me. But you know me--I don't always consume something just because it's better for me! After all---I've never had a salad. Ever.
I hope that you'll friend me on facebook. Just search for me by my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com I update facebook almost daily and we have some pretty lively, sometimes helpful and informative discussions on my facebook wall.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My oldest daughter Amber. I love her so much! She was in town last weekend and we had such a wonderful time at the Liverpool Legends concert!
From the upcoming Lose To Win Youtube video segment--available soon, right here and on facebook!
I always include a giant before picture every time. I've included this one a couple of times--and it always shocks me to see it again.
The Man In The Next Booth, Living and Learning, and Re-Focusing The Fundamentals
I walked into the restaurant with a beautiful date on my arm and a plan. I always have a strategy ready when I dine out and it's always very simple. I order water with lemon. If I want a "lemonade," I ask for extra lemons, then I use sweetener to taste. Since most restaurant portions are enough to feed two or three people, sharing is most always practiced. I avoid the appetizers and I avoid the bread, pre-meal, knowing that I'll enjoy one when the meal arrives. At Texas Roadhouse, they'll bring you as many rolls as you can handle. And they're incredible little things, really. Perfectly baked to perfection--hot, buttery, with a taste that makes you want to know what exactly it is they put in these things. I'm not sure what it is, but it's something very hard to resist, especially for a bread lover like me. But I calmly remind myself that I'll have one soon, as quickly as the meal arrives.
I love fried catfish, I think we've established that before. And this place does it so well. And the portion they put on a plate just absolutely begs a reasonably sane person to do one of two things: Either share or get a box and take half of it home. I always opt to share. 1/2 a baked potato and a couple of catfish fillets, plus a roll--makes for a wonderful meal. It's not too much or too little, it's just perfect. This is the plan and it works, every time.
I always remember "Old Sean," in these situations. I remember how foreign it would have been to even suggest sharing a meal like this. Instead of being nearly appalled at the enormous serving sizes, I would have applauded them for the value and the feast that I most certainly would have joyously stuffed in every last bite--along with extra rolls and butter--and more peanuts please! I always needed an antacid after a big meal. I never need one now. And I'm still satisfied and happy. Hmmm...This is nice.
The best part of this restaurant visit wasn't the different attitude and approach that my new relationship with food provides. It was the company in the next booth. Let me explain: As we were being seated, I thought I recognized the gentleman in the booth up ahead. When he loudly exclaimed, "Sean Anderson," I immediately knew who it was. He looked so different from the last time I saw him. It was the tattoo artist that gave me my "505" tattoo. When he gave me my tattoo, he weighed 460 pounds--Now, he's 156 pounds lighter--looks completely different, and in his words, "I feel twenty years younger!"
We talked about his journey and the questions people ask him about his "plan." When he describes how he eats less and exercises all the time, most people are less than thrilled. I've experienced that same thing!!! He mentioned how he can't wait for summer, because he'll be able to do things that he hasn't in years. His eyes were lighting up at the thought. It was genuine happiness. The beautiful lady across from him was smiling from ear to ear too. She surely sees an amazing difference in this former 460 pound man that goes way beyond the obvious physical changes. It was an amazing little visit. And as he walked away, I couldn't help but stare--and smile. He thanked me for inspiring him. And now--he's going to inspire so many more with his brilliant enthusiasm for life. The chance encounter of it all, made this night out extra special. I experienced over-whelming joy for him and his success that he's worked so hard to achieve. The guy is amazing--and it thrills me to know him.
It's always interesting that we have similar experiences when trying to answer the question, "How are you doing it?" It's so natural to look for the easy way out along this road. I did for so many years. And if someone told me that it was a lifestyle change (and they did many times), and that I had to eat less and exercise more, and battle myself to stay true to the mission of change--well, I was always disappointed. This thought is exactly what inspired a blog posting from February 2009. let's go back in the archives, shall we?
From Day 163 "The Insane Search for Anything that Works and An Unlikely Dinner"
I searched for years, well, not really actively searching everyday, but curious always at least, wondering what really works? I was conditioned by our culture and society from an early age to believe in order to lose weight, you had to have a plan. Not your own sensible plan, because that would be too simple and free, and we know that if it's free it can't work, no, no, no...we gotta pay to lose weight if we expect results. We need someone else's plan!
A plan or product someone else designed and now charges large amounts of money for. Now if this plan is all about learning portion control, self-analysis, and exercising, then great...sounds good, but kinda boring...and boring doesn't sell. I want amazing success claims! I want you to tell me that I can basically sleep and gorge all day long and still lose weight.
I always thought that the secret must be in a product or system somewhere on a store shelf near me. When I would run into someone who had lost weight, my first question was always: “How did you do it?” This is often the first question that comes to mind for anyone. I always wanted to hear about a miraculous new product that would magically melt away my fat in the middle of the night while I slept regardless of my food intake or lack of exercise. As crazy as that idea sounds, that's exactly the message I've watched before on an infomercial in the middle of the night. Perhaps you've watched the same one. Did you notice the fine print too?
“Product to be used in conjunction with a regular diet and exercise regimen.” Really? I have to make an effort? Then why would I want to take these again? Do they even contain anything other than a placebo and a slick marketing campaign that targets the desperate and dangerously overweight at 2am?
But for years I had an open mind and a willing ear to listen to anyone that had any information on what worked. As long as that solution didn't involve certain things, like personal responsibility, educating myself on portion control, understanding, analyzing, and reconstructing my behaviors and please don't say exercise! Noooo! I can't move! What? You want me to kill myself?
Listen, I understand the hopeless feelings that consume grotesquely obese people. I've been one for years. The dream is a miracle cure, that never comes along. Oh sure, people lose weight on all kinds of products and systems. I'm not saying you can't lose weight on some of these things. People do everyday, but it's like spending money on cleaning up the mess from a broken sewer line, but not fixing the broken sewer line. Sorry, that's a gross but effective example...but you see what I mean, right? That's why so many people gain back everything they lost and more! They cleaned up the mess caused by the real problem, but they didn't address the real problem.
When they repeat the process over and over they call it...”Yo-Yo Dieting.” I've always heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result...that's yo-yo dieting! What has driven me to get down to the honest bare truth behind my lifelong battle with obesity? I don't have time to yo-yo any-mo-mo. That was kind of lame, but it made me laugh, so I'm good. I'm learning everyday about food and how to properly handle it, I'm learning about exercise and how to properly do it, and most importantly, I'm learning about me on a level I didn't know existed.
For the first time in my life I'm finally finding what I was looking for, and the strangest thing is, it was inside me all along, but I wasn't looking there. It's like searching for your lost car keys for 30 years, then one day finding them in your pocket where they'd always been.
It's time to read some wonderful mail! I absolutely love opening messages like the following. it's like a gift someone is giving me. It's feedback. It feels good to feel like we're making a difference. And I can't thank this reader enough for the wonderful time and energy they put into this email gift. In consideration of their privacy, I've taken out the name. This feels good:
"Hi Sean,
I just finished reading every day of your journey from the very beginning and I’m truly sad that I’m now all caught up and just waiting for you to write again. I started my journey on Oct 25 and by some miracle found your blog and started reading. As many people have stated, you are one hell of an inspiration and I truly am grateful that you wrote your journey down for the world to read. I too am counting calories and exercising and am proud to say that I now have dropped 30 pounds as of this morning and on the road to another 30 and then 30 more. Like you I love food and found it funny that you used Velveeta cheese in your last seminar to signify the weight loss as Velveeta is one of my weaknesses and that’s one food I haven’t touched since Oct 24. I too started with the “anything goes” philosophy but have found that the longer I go the more I don’t seem to care if I eat chocolate, Velveeta or KD. Weird how the mind set changes over time. I’m loving that I am down 2 sizes and can’t wait to be able to walk into any store and buy anything I want, right now I have to go to a “special” store that caters to us heavier people. I too just recently started to get the “have you lost weight” comments and man, does it feel good. I really was starting to wonder why nobody was commenting on it but now it seems every day I get at least one person and it thrills me every time.
Thank you for all that you have written and the knowledge you have passed along. I am forever grateful that I could read you any day when I thought I just couldn’t do this anymore. You have kept me on the right path and for that I am eternally grateful. I was talking to a friend this morning and she is starting her journey and I told her about your blog and that she should start from the very beginning, she plans on doing that right away and I hope she pays it forward and so on. I am so excited for you and all the wonderful things that have happened in your life. When you’re sad I’m sad for you, when you got the divorce I cried for you and when you’re happy I’m happy for you. I don’t know why some people have to be cruel and say things like “get over yourself” but damnit, those are the people that are either jealous or sick in some way and aren’t worth the worry. How anybody could not be amazed and inspired by you is something I do not understand. I totally get why you have to sometimes just stare at yourself in the mirror and marvel at what you’ve done as I too in the privacy of the bathroom have to do that myself. People that haven’t had a bad body image or have never had to fight with weight will never understand why we have to “admire” ourselves every once in awhile. The feeling of accomplishment is something we have to force our brain to see.
We’ve had 2 quick exchanges in the last couple of months but this is the biggest writing I’ve done to you as I know you are so very busy and trying to get the book done so I don’t like to bother you. I’ll probably never meet you in person but that’s okay, I still think of you as my weight loss buddy and will forever remember you and your amazing transformation and look forward to more writing on the blog.
CONGRATULATIONS on reaching your goal, I was thrilled when you got there, way to go!!! And I hope your sleep apnea gets fixed and that you can finally rest and get a good nights sleep, you deserve it. And I’ll be added to the long list of people that exclaim that you are one handsome man and I hope you find a wonderful lady that deserves you, or perhaps you already have with Karen, but that’s none of my business, I’ll shut up now.
Take care of yourself...a Canadian fan…"
What a blessing! Thank you, my friend! I'm so thrilled for your success!! You're absolutely doing it--and this time is different from any other!!
Sleep apnea. Oh my--yes, it's wreaked havoc on me in the last several months. I've now completed two sleep lab studies in the last month and I'm currently awaiting the final results and will soon be receiving a new prescription and setting for a CPAP machine. It has absolutely hurt my productivity in many ways. I'm always tired it seems and no matter how well I think I've slept, I'm always ready for a nap, even if I've only been up for a few hours. I'm really looking forward to experiencing real good rest again--The kind of sleep I remember from nearly ten years of sleeping successfully on a CPAP at my heaviest.
A couple of my blogging buddies stopped by the blog and commented recently. Tony "The Anti-Jared" Posnanski is truly an inspiration to me in so many ways. He has an amazing sense of humor too. I love his arms and he loves my voice, apparently:
"I want your smooth voice. You are listening to WRQZ in Orrrrlando. Coming up, Hall and Oates, but now, Hit me with your Best Shot, it's Pat Benetar. See, not even close to your voice."
You absolutely crack me up, Tony! Thank you, friend!!
Jack Sh*t, the king of weight loss blog comedy, but also someone with a very serious and caring heart--with a keen observant eye, and a genuine concern--writes:
"Boy, that not weighing in for a month scares me, Sean. The problem when you get out of that tightly focused losing mode is that it's a lot harder to shift it into gear than it was before (or at least that's what I've found). But you're right... it's still FANTASTIC, but the key is to keep it that way!"
Jack--thank you for this! You're absolutely right. And now, I still haven't weighed. I've been trying to trust myself at every turn, keeping myself in check, eating like a normal person--and seeing what happens. It will be interesting to see what the scale says. I didn't really set out to try this scale free six week period, but it certainly has become an interesting study within myself. And what have I found?
I'm not ready. I'm just not ready to be "normal." What is "normal" anyway? I need the structure that has brought me this far, I do. I need to lose a little more. And finding that balance that will maintain me for life--well, that is something I'll gradually and very naturally evolve into. For now--I'm tightening up the fundamentals that have delivered me from 505 pounds. And that tightening--includes weighing this week.
I have some amazing friends in this weight loss blogging community--and these two guys are very special to me. Thank you both, again!!!
After a friend gifted me with Truvia and Agave Nectar, I've been giving it a try instead of Splenda. I even purchased some Sun Crystals, the stevia/sugar hybrid stuff--at 5 calories per packet. I'll be honest--I prefer the taste of Splenda. But I'm giving this natural alternative a wonderful try---and I know it's better for me. But you know me--I don't always consume something just because it's better for me! After all---I've never had a salad. Ever.
I hope that you'll friend me on facebook. Just search for me by my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com I update facebook almost daily and we have some pretty lively, sometimes helpful and informative discussions on my facebook wall.
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
My oldest daughter Amber. I love her so much! She was in town last weekend and we had such a wonderful time at the Liverpool Legends concert!
From the upcoming Lose To Win Youtube video segment--available soon, right here and on facebook!
I always include a giant before picture every time. I've included this one a couple of times--and it always shocks me to see it again.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Day 843-853 Better Sleep on The Way, Still Some Weight To Lose, and Another Speaking Engagement
Day 843-853
Better Sleep on The Way, Still Some Weight To Lose, and Another Speaking Engagement
I've been struggling with the effects of sleep apnea so much lately, I just feel wrecked half the time. The results of my sleep study on the night of December 30th require another sleep lab, this time with a cpap machine. I go in Thursday night for round two! They'll adjust the settings, find the perfect pressure, and I'll start feeling rested again! I think I'm finally over the stubbornness I've felt in accepting my post-weight loss sleep apnea problems. Yes--I thought my weight loss had totally liberated me from that disorder, and NO, it didn't. So I have a choice--I can be a big baby about it or I can count my blessings and realize how wonderfully lucky I've been along this road. I've discovered a new life of possibilities free from morbid obesity. So--a sleep disorder, easily treated with a life saving device? No problem. I had a cpap before and I slept wonderfully for years, despite my 500 pound body. It's time to feel rested at 229 or whatever I am now.
I haven't weighed in over four weeks. I must do it again real soon! I'll tell you this--I kind of feel like I may have gained a pound or two. Some of the pictures from my Lose To Win speaking engagement on the 13th, were less than flattering. You'll see. Oh--I'm so hard on myself, because really--compared to where I've been, it's all good. But the jeans I chose that night--I didn't like the fit. Now--when I say that I still have work to do--The people that send me messages telling me I don't, might agree. Some of it is the loose skin factor, but seriously---honestly--I could stand to lose another 15 pounds at least. Maybe even 20. Not necessarily in my upper body, but absolutely in my lower. The pictures will show. And the video that's coming will too. I swear--I'm not crazy or obsessed, my friend!! I'm just brutally honest with myself when it comes to these issues. I'm also very comfortable and confident, and that's something I've never experienced, ever--before now.
I'm eating around 1800 calories per day. Some days less, others a little more. It's a very relaxed approach. I still haven't revved up my workouts. Wow--that's been a running theme on this blog, huh? After 853 days, I'm still talking about needing to "amp up" my workouts. I hope that you realize, my example in the workout department isn't and never has been the best. There are friends of mine that know how to workout good and hard. I could learn a thing or two from you! And YOU know who you are!!
My life feels chaotic sometimes--as I try to juggle a full time job, write/finish this manuscript, and struggle with severe sleep deprivation because of the apnea. But we're getting there--slowly, but surely.
Communicating my story and weight loss methods/philosophy is certainly a passion. I can clearly see how this will be my future in every way. I can't think of a better future. The feedback I get from people who are discovering the power within to transform, is over the top--and it feels amazing to be involved in some small way.
The speaking engagement on the 13th was well received. I certainly feel like I communicated effectively. The main focus was all about getting very real and honest with ourselves and then throwing away the rule book--simplifying the process, and focusing on the right battle. I had a tremendous time and the comments after were wonderful! Big thanks to Gayle Williams of Womyn Aloud Productions for producing the opening segment and running the presentation on the big screen! And big thanks to David and Crystal Deken from Deke Media for the video production work!! The video will be available soon. You can visit Deke Media at www.Dekeonline.com
Beverly said-- Thank YOU Sean! You're such an inspiration and your talk was so appreciated. I hope everyone else took as much with them tonight as I did about not making this so hard.
Cathy said-- Sean, you were amazing!!! Your message was profound and I know so many are going to benefit from your personal story and your Transformation Road!!!
Barbara said--You were great tonight (as usual) Sean! I so enjoyed it and got a lot of motivation from it! I have started reading your blog from day one and read about 3 or 4 days each day. Also if I get to thinking about eating more then what I have on deposit in the bank, I pull up your blog and read one or two days and I'm good to go again! Thanks for helping all of us to "Transformation Road"!!!!
I traveled back in time to January of 2009 and found a nice excerpt from Day 130:
This journey is often times more mental workouts than physical ones. It is a mindset, it is a decision, and the rewards are the good consequences of those decisions. I was always too busy coming up with excuses for why I couldn't do this. But you know what? Once you really decide to do it 100%, the excuses lose their power completely. If you're facing this same struggle then embrace yourself and decide to live! Because this is living my friend. I may still be slightly over 400 pounds, but I can move again! I can go to Wal-Mart and walk the entire store with a positive-effortless stride instead of a labored waddle. I can breathe again, I can hurry if I need to, I can do things that 100 pounds ago was completely unthinkable. When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more. I have no idea what I'll feel like a hundred pounds lighter from now, but if it's as dramatic a change as the first hundred, then I can't wait!
Here we are, two years later--and yes, I know exactly what it feels like to lose the next 100 and then another 76 on top of that---It feels AMAZING! It's cool for me to go back and see how wonderful I felt--even at over 400 pounds. The road has been a joy for different reasons along the way. And it's been a struggle for other reasons. But in all--It's been one incredible ride. "When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more." That is so true!! The results snowball effect!! Good choices lead to more good choices--and the results come with that consistent pursuit.
It's time to check the mailbag and feature a few wonderful messages! I sincerely appreciate every message and I absolutely LOVE updates on your personal success!! Let me know how you're doing!
Hi Sean! Just a note to say I LOVE your blog! Thank you for sharing your journey, and all the inspiration. An amazing journey. I just started my own weight loss journey on 1/1/11 and looking for friends to inspire and be inspired by. I hope you come by and visit my blog, and wishing you luck in everything you do! Hugs, Wendy Check out Wendy's blog at: http://www.WhyNOTme.us
Keep it up, you are right we need to inspire and empower people around us and influence them to what we have seen and experienced I have lost 50lbs in about 2 yrs and it feels awesome but reading your blogs keeps one in check. Thanks--Sam
Hello Sean, How are you? My name is Faye. My husband and I live in a suburb near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! I WAS following your daily posts for a while, and then stopped. I'm BACK now and REALLY serious this time to lose this weight! I am now at 282, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSED to even type that number! I was wondering how do I figure out how many calories I should be eating to lose this weight??? I will be 59 in June and I have family in Rochester New York, my husband and I travel there in June to visit my brother and his wife and my niece and her husband and young son! I HAVE MADE A PROMISE to myself that I want to BE THINNER the next time we go! I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE reading your posts and your pics are just unbelievable! YOU LOOK AMAZING! I KNOW you are so busy with all your posts and blogs and face book (I didn't check Facebook out yet, but will tonight) BUT, I am hoping you could give me an idea on calories! My neighbor and I are doing this together and she gave me the web site of Lance Armstrong site www.livestrong.com It states that I should be eating 1870 calories a day. Today is my 3rd day and I HATE to write what I eat, (its one of the reasons I didn't sign back up to weight watchers) BUT NOW I'M SO HAPPY TO SAY THAT I, YAY, AM TRACKING EVERYTHING and looking up calories too! I HAVE been a HUGE water drinker from way back and just got away from it some. I have been drinking a little over a half gallon every day, sometimes MORE! SO SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU SO LONG HERE AND OH, ONE MORE THING, YOUR FAMILY LOOKS SO NICE! ESPECIALLY YOUR MOM AND GRAND MOM! MINE ARE BOTH in Heaven! Many thanks in advance--Faye
Hi Sean, I am writing to let you know what your blog has done for me. Going back, I am 65 and had gotten a good scare with my Blood Pressure ( I am on meds already) and it wasn't coming back down. I had read your article and then signed on to your blog. Your blog has supported me as I kept a diary on line and measured portions and started the Exercise program SIT AND BE FIT on PBS which is a simple, easy going workout. So, over the last 6 months I have gotten healthier (and that's my goal), lost 27 pounds, and am feeling wonderful. Oh, and my BP is the lowest I have had in years. When I see my internist we will be discussing the amt. of meds I need now. My clothes fit comfortably and my energy level is up. I also don't mind having my picture taken either. I plan on living a good, long time and seeing my grandchildren grow up! Thank you for your continued blog articles and I go back and look at earlier diary entries too, and it really IS interesting! Keep on, keeping on!!! --Rosie
Hey there Sean, Wow...I started reading your blog and I found myself just in tears...reading about what you went through. Just letting you know and you probably hear this all the time but your honesty is so appreciated. I have to admit I read about you having to find a scale and that whole job interview...it made me cry. I just wanted to give you a great big hug. You are a brave soul to share this and having struggled with weight loss it hit a nerve. --Julie
Dave May, who works across the hall from me every morning on KLOR, has started his own blog. It's not a weight loss blog, but it's certainly interesting! His resolution for 2011 is to say nothing negative about anyone ever, for one year solid! How will this effect his life? How will it effect his family? How will it change him personally? Read and find out! He's recruited a pastor, a mental health professional, and an English professor to act as an "expert" panel throughout his journey to less negativity. You can read his interesting blog at www.saynothingnegative.blogspot.com
Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
On stage during the Lose To Win speaking engagement.
Another stage picture...
After interview--for the video
Recent--In studio Thank you Cathy Cole!
Today--George Harrison's sister Louise stopped by the show and had lunch with radio station staff and listeners at Mazzios. She looks so much like George, wow!! She was in town promoting an upcoming concert at the Poncan Theatre--Liverpool Legends will be on the Poncan Theatre Stage January 28th at 7:30pm--sponsored by RCB Bank and KLOR!
Huge before picture--alongside Amber, Courtney, and Irene
Better Sleep on The Way, Still Some Weight To Lose, and Another Speaking Engagement
I've been struggling with the effects of sleep apnea so much lately, I just feel wrecked half the time. The results of my sleep study on the night of December 30th require another sleep lab, this time with a cpap machine. I go in Thursday night for round two! They'll adjust the settings, find the perfect pressure, and I'll start feeling rested again! I think I'm finally over the stubbornness I've felt in accepting my post-weight loss sleep apnea problems. Yes--I thought my weight loss had totally liberated me from that disorder, and NO, it didn't. So I have a choice--I can be a big baby about it or I can count my blessings and realize how wonderfully lucky I've been along this road. I've discovered a new life of possibilities free from morbid obesity. So--a sleep disorder, easily treated with a life saving device? No problem. I had a cpap before and I slept wonderfully for years, despite my 500 pound body. It's time to feel rested at 229 or whatever I am now.
I haven't weighed in over four weeks. I must do it again real soon! I'll tell you this--I kind of feel like I may have gained a pound or two. Some of the pictures from my Lose To Win speaking engagement on the 13th, were less than flattering. You'll see. Oh--I'm so hard on myself, because really--compared to where I've been, it's all good. But the jeans I chose that night--I didn't like the fit. Now--when I say that I still have work to do--The people that send me messages telling me I don't, might agree. Some of it is the loose skin factor, but seriously---honestly--I could stand to lose another 15 pounds at least. Maybe even 20. Not necessarily in my upper body, but absolutely in my lower. The pictures will show. And the video that's coming will too. I swear--I'm not crazy or obsessed, my friend!! I'm just brutally honest with myself when it comes to these issues. I'm also very comfortable and confident, and that's something I've never experienced, ever--before now.
I'm eating around 1800 calories per day. Some days less, others a little more. It's a very relaxed approach. I still haven't revved up my workouts. Wow--that's been a running theme on this blog, huh? After 853 days, I'm still talking about needing to "amp up" my workouts. I hope that you realize, my example in the workout department isn't and never has been the best. There are friends of mine that know how to workout good and hard. I could learn a thing or two from you! And YOU know who you are!!
My life feels chaotic sometimes--as I try to juggle a full time job, write/finish this manuscript, and struggle with severe sleep deprivation because of the apnea. But we're getting there--slowly, but surely.
Communicating my story and weight loss methods/philosophy is certainly a passion. I can clearly see how this will be my future in every way. I can't think of a better future. The feedback I get from people who are discovering the power within to transform, is over the top--and it feels amazing to be involved in some small way.
The speaking engagement on the 13th was well received. I certainly feel like I communicated effectively. The main focus was all about getting very real and honest with ourselves and then throwing away the rule book--simplifying the process, and focusing on the right battle. I had a tremendous time and the comments after were wonderful! Big thanks to Gayle Williams of Womyn Aloud Productions for producing the opening segment and running the presentation on the big screen! And big thanks to David and Crystal Deken from Deke Media for the video production work!! The video will be available soon. You can visit Deke Media at www.Dekeonline.com
Beverly said-- Thank YOU Sean! You're such an inspiration and your talk was so appreciated. I hope everyone else took as much with them tonight as I did about not making this so hard.
Cathy said-- Sean, you were amazing!!! Your message was profound and I know so many are going to benefit from your personal story and your Transformation Road!!!
Barbara said--You were great tonight (as usual) Sean! I so enjoyed it and got a lot of motivation from it! I have started reading your blog from day one and read about 3 or 4 days each day. Also if I get to thinking about eating more then what I have on deposit in the bank, I pull up your blog and read one or two days and I'm good to go again! Thanks for helping all of us to "Transformation Road"!!!!
I traveled back in time to January of 2009 and found a nice excerpt from Day 130:
This journey is often times more mental workouts than physical ones. It is a mindset, it is a decision, and the rewards are the good consequences of those decisions. I was always too busy coming up with excuses for why I couldn't do this. But you know what? Once you really decide to do it 100%, the excuses lose their power completely. If you're facing this same struggle then embrace yourself and decide to live! Because this is living my friend. I may still be slightly over 400 pounds, but I can move again! I can go to Wal-Mart and walk the entire store with a positive-effortless stride instead of a labored waddle. I can breathe again, I can hurry if I need to, I can do things that 100 pounds ago was completely unthinkable. When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more. I have no idea what I'll feel like a hundred pounds lighter from now, but if it's as dramatic a change as the first hundred, then I can't wait!
Here we are, two years later--and yes, I know exactly what it feels like to lose the next 100 and then another 76 on top of that---It feels AMAZING! It's cool for me to go back and see how wonderful I felt--even at over 400 pounds. The road has been a joy for different reasons along the way. And it's been a struggle for other reasons. But in all--It's been one incredible ride. "When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more." That is so true!! The results snowball effect!! Good choices lead to more good choices--and the results come with that consistent pursuit.
It's time to check the mailbag and feature a few wonderful messages! I sincerely appreciate every message and I absolutely LOVE updates on your personal success!! Let me know how you're doing!
Hi Sean! Just a note to say I LOVE your blog! Thank you for sharing your journey, and all the inspiration. An amazing journey. I just started my own weight loss journey on 1/1/11 and looking for friends to inspire and be inspired by. I hope you come by and visit my blog, and wishing you luck in everything you do! Hugs, Wendy Check out Wendy's blog at: http://www.WhyNOTme.us
Keep it up, you are right we need to inspire and empower people around us and influence them to what we have seen and experienced I have lost 50lbs in about 2 yrs and it feels awesome but reading your blogs keeps one in check. Thanks--Sam
Hello Sean, How are you? My name is Faye. My husband and I live in a suburb near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! I WAS following your daily posts for a while, and then stopped. I'm BACK now and REALLY serious this time to lose this weight! I am now at 282, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSED to even type that number! I was wondering how do I figure out how many calories I should be eating to lose this weight??? I will be 59 in June and I have family in Rochester New York, my husband and I travel there in June to visit my brother and his wife and my niece and her husband and young son! I HAVE MADE A PROMISE to myself that I want to BE THINNER the next time we go! I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE reading your posts and your pics are just unbelievable! YOU LOOK AMAZING! I KNOW you are so busy with all your posts and blogs and face book (I didn't check Facebook out yet, but will tonight) BUT, I am hoping you could give me an idea on calories! My neighbor and I are doing this together and she gave me the web site of Lance Armstrong site www.livestrong.com It states that I should be eating 1870 calories a day. Today is my 3rd day and I HATE to write what I eat, (its one of the reasons I didn't sign back up to weight watchers) BUT NOW I'M SO HAPPY TO SAY THAT I, YAY, AM TRACKING EVERYTHING and looking up calories too! I HAVE been a HUGE water drinker from way back and just got away from it some. I have been drinking a little over a half gallon every day, sometimes MORE! SO SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU SO LONG HERE AND OH, ONE MORE THING, YOUR FAMILY LOOKS SO NICE! ESPECIALLY YOUR MOM AND GRAND MOM! MINE ARE BOTH in Heaven! Many thanks in advance--Faye
Hi Sean, I am writing to let you know what your blog has done for me. Going back, I am 65 and had gotten a good scare with my Blood Pressure ( I am on meds already) and it wasn't coming back down. I had read your article and then signed on to your blog. Your blog has supported me as I kept a diary on line and measured portions and started the Exercise program SIT AND BE FIT on PBS which is a simple, easy going workout. So, over the last 6 months I have gotten healthier (and that's my goal), lost 27 pounds, and am feeling wonderful. Oh, and my BP is the lowest I have had in years. When I see my internist we will be discussing the amt. of meds I need now. My clothes fit comfortably and my energy level is up. I also don't mind having my picture taken either. I plan on living a good, long time and seeing my grandchildren grow up! Thank you for your continued blog articles and I go back and look at earlier diary entries too, and it really IS interesting! Keep on, keeping on!!! --Rosie
Hey there Sean, Wow...I started reading your blog and I found myself just in tears...reading about what you went through. Just letting you know and you probably hear this all the time but your honesty is so appreciated. I have to admit I read about you having to find a scale and that whole job interview...it made me cry. I just wanted to give you a great big hug. You are a brave soul to share this and having struggled with weight loss it hit a nerve. --Julie
Dave May, who works across the hall from me every morning on KLOR, has started his own blog. It's not a weight loss blog, but it's certainly interesting! His resolution for 2011 is to say nothing negative about anyone ever, for one year solid! How will this effect his life? How will it effect his family? How will it change him personally? Read and find out! He's recruited a pastor, a mental health professional, and an English professor to act as an "expert" panel throughout his journey to less negativity. You can read his interesting blog at www.saynothingnegative.blogspot.com
Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
On stage during the Lose To Win speaking engagement.
Another stage picture...
After interview--for the video
Recent--In studio Thank you Cathy Cole!
Today--George Harrison's sister Louise stopped by the show and had lunch with radio station staff and listeners at Mazzios. She looks so much like George, wow!! She was in town promoting an upcoming concert at the Poncan Theatre--Liverpool Legends will be on the Poncan Theatre Stage January 28th at 7:30pm--sponsored by RCB Bank and KLOR!
Huge before picture--alongside Amber, Courtney, and Irene
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Day 836-842 Planning To Reach For More, My Cheesy Speaking Engagement, and More "Lost" Before Shots
Day 836-842
Planning To Reach For More, My Cheesy Speaking Engagement, and More "Lost" Before Shots
I know a stated goal is important, but I must admit something I've experienced since hitting 230: If I'm not careful, I could easily forget that there's still work to be done. I understand that maintaining and losing are two different things, yet very similar. I feel like, eating normal portions, like a normal person, is so automatic now. But what isn't, is setting and committing to a solid workout schedule. I've always stated that redefining my relationship with food--in effect, overcoming a lifetime of food addiction, is my strong point. I'm still and always will be a food addict. But my comfort level with food, my friendship, if you will, is solid. However, with that understood, it's important for me to realize that the exercise part is even more critical now, if I plan to reach further and go beyond where I am physically. I do plan to reach further.
I want that body I've always dreamed of having, and I'm in a perfect position to get exactly what I want. I've stripped myself of the fat shell that I allowed to hold me back for so long and now the canvas is ready for a new picture. I thought about this as I worked out today. The mountain of 276 pounds is gone, and now it's time to fine tune, it's time to dream a little more, do a little more, make it happen again--in other ways.
Melody Knight Young, along with several Ponca Citians, are NYC marathon runners and facebook friends of mine. Melody recently posted to my wall: "So, are you ready to run the half marathon in OKC?" My reply: "That would be amazing. I have a looong way to go before I'm ready for that, I swear. OK--Maybe not that long of a ways...but still, a ways. ;)"
And it's so true. I do have a long ways to go. But it's not impossible. Anything is possible, if I decide to put in the effort needed to achieve. Don't count me out Melody, ever!
I played racquetball with the wall today, just like in the video from my last post. Well, nothing like the video in my last post, really. This time, at 229 pounds, I was flying around that court. I'm training in the court once again. Why? Aside from the fact that it's a phenomenal workout--The owner of the broadcasting company where I work, has challenged me to another racquetball match soon--and he's going to be very surprised at my abilities. Just remember Bill--inside that court, you're not my boss...you're just my next challenger, about to go down!
On Thursday, I had an opportunity to speak at the Lose To Win kick-off event for the third year in a row. It was wonderful! I used 276 pounds of Velveeta to illustrate how much weight I've lost. I even put on my old size 64's and a 6XL "Big Daddy" jersey shirt for my entrance. I had to have two assistants, one on each side, to hold up my pants as I pushed the cart full of Velveeta. It was crazy fun. Those pants---wow, I still can't believe that they were tight when I first bought them. I shared the story of how the button actually popped off and I had to have another sewn on, about an inch over--just to wear them again, they were the only pair of jeans I had at one point. My talk was about how this Lose To Win Challenge can be whatever you desire. It can simply be an eight week contest or it can be life changing forever. If you choose the latter, win the money or not, you'll be winning for the rest of your life! It was a fun speaking engagement and a nice teaser for my upcoming Lose To Win seminar on Thursday January 13th inside the historic Poncan Theatre.
I invited people to come up and share how much they desired to lose---and then, they lifted that amount of Velveeta. I encouraged, "go ahead, walk around with it a little," and then watched as they felt the relief of putting the weight back on the stack. It was a wonderful visual aid and an interesting invitation that many accepted.
I sincerely appreciate all of the wonderful emails and messages sent my way. Thank you! I can't share them all (although I wish I could), but I will share a few--with first names only, in consideration of their privacy. It's messages like these that make me feel on top of the world. All of the work has been worth every drop of sweat, every hour at the keyboard, every personal story shared...worth it, completely:
"Hey Sean, My name is Shirley. I just wanted to say I am so proud of all your
success. I started following your blog after I read your AOL story in
August. What you said made so much sense! Since I stared following I am down 22 lbs and my cholesterol is down 50 points!! Have a wonderful year:)"
"Dear Sean, I started reading your blogs in July and you helped me more than you can know! I am back making better food choices and losing weight. Have another 100 pounds to go but know I can make it with the help of the blogs. Through your blog friends (I was not even aware of blogs before yours) I have made it day to day. Hope you won't let as much time pass in between your blogging as you have had to do recently. Am looking forward to your book coming out. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!! NANCY"
"Hi Sean, Its been almost three months since I originally email you. I am so excited and I wanted to email you again with an update. I have reached my original goal to loose 50 lbs! Thank you so much for being so inspirational! I continue to follow your blogs plus your posts on facebook and enjoy them so. I have looked at pictures of myself and can't believe the difference of 50 lbs and imagine how you feel with all that you have lost. I do have days that I still see myself as the fatter me, but as you mentioned in many of your blogs it's our mind and a mental thing that I need to overcome. I can't thank you enough for being who you are and helping so many people like myself. If I didn't read you blog I don't think I would be at the weight I am today. I plan to continue to loose and the next goal is 25 more but I am so pleased to make it this far and will continue on. I am the healthiest and happiest I have been in 25 years and I feel wonderful! And Size 12 feels fabulous! Thank you again for being so inspirational. Patti"
Virginia writes:
"Hi Sean, sorry for my bad English, but I read from Italy (Florence).
I met you first on your blog and then on facebook. You're such inspirational for my weight loss journey! I'd like to know if your radio station is also on internet,I'd like to hear how sounds your voice :)). I'm tryng to learn English watching movies and hearing English voices....I'd like to come to Pine Ridge reservation ( I love Native American culture) next summer and I'd like to speak an acceptable English. SO... that's it. Good Life, ciao"
I'm so happy for these wonderful people and everyone that shares their story with me!! Thank you so much! I just keep thinking about how your inspiration multiplies exponentially...Because with your success, you're inspiring others around you to do the same--and it keeps going and going!! We can make a difference, my friend!
I traveled back two years into the archives today, visiting January 2009. I found a couple of excerpts I wanted to share:
I constantly have to keep myself ahead of that “line of least resistance.” It's too easy to just not do this. The line of least resistance is what put me up over 500 pounds for so long. The line of least resistance has an all you cant eat buffet, where you never worry about calories. It has comfy sofas and beds, and not a treadmill anywhere remotely close. Every comfort and indulgence is readily available at that line. But it's not free. It cost you dearly. It takes away so much from your life while pretending to be your best friend. So is staying away from that line effortless? No, not even a little bit. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely. Because the rewards of getting healthy and losing weight gives me more than any false friendship that line provides. It's real positive stuff my friend. I can't imagine the potential yet. It's too far reaching to calculate. And the cost of success? Exercise and learning how to limit portions. And I still get to rest when I need to, and I still get to eat whatever I want, I still get to enjoy myself. Moving this body and eating less is a small price to pay for all the rewards it can bring.
From a different day, two years ago--speaking of smaller clothes:
I'm finally on the final hole of that belt I've written about before. When I first started this journey that belt was a good two to three inches from going all the way around me. Then I tried it one day and was able to use the very first hole. I remember what a victory that was. And now I'm down to the very last hole position. This belt is about ready to be retired! What a fantastic way to track progress, hole by hole! It's amazing how good this makes me feel. When I first bought that belt a year and a half ago. I really needed a belt and a few other items, so we drove all the way to Tulsa to the big and tall store. I bought a leather belt two-pack in the largest size they carried and when I tried it on it didn't even come close to fitting. I knew before I even tried that there was no way it would work. Lucky for me the other was a stretchable woven leather design and even though it was technically the same size as the first belt, I was able to stretch it to barely fit. So the little belt made it's way into the closet with the only hope of rescue resting on the possibility that I would someday lose enough weight to use it. I'm on the last hole of that little belt now baby! I get really excited sometimes! You can always tell because my use of exclamation points go through the roof!!!!
This is what it feels like to take a successful stand. Losing weight is such a rewarding experience with so many little victories along the way to that ultimate goal. It seems that I'm celebrating something new all the time. In fact, I think it's time for another Levi's shopping trip to Oklahoma City. I'm going to go for 48's this time. In case you're keeping track, that would be 14 sizes below my largest! I also need some smaller shirts and smaller everything else. There's nothing in my closet I can't wear now. The “someday I'll be able to wear that” items used to outnumber the big stuff two to one. I haven't really thought about buying new clothes just yet because I've still got a ways to go and I don't want to buy new stuff and then be too little for them in a month or two. But I'm going to have to buy some along the way, that's all there is to it! Clothes shopping was always a dreaded idea for me as long as I can remember. Now I look forward to the trip.
My dear Aunt Kelli has once again, uncovered some "lost" before photos that have just left me with my mouth hanging open. I'll write a caption below the one that really got to me recently. I never realized that I looked THAT big. Wow. Thank you Kelli!
And thank you for reading, giving me your support, and sharing your success with me! I want to hear about what you're experiencing! If you haven't already--Please, friend me on facebook!! You can search for me on facebook by using my email address seanboy105@hotmail.com
I've been horrible about updating my Twitter account. I swear--It's as easy as sending a text, but I can't seem to get in the habit. I'll work on that, deal?
Again--thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Lose To Win 2011 kick-off was at the new YMCA!
That's a bunch of Velveeta!
Oh my---yeah---This is a big before--but it's not the one that made me wince...this is:
I never realized I looked this big. Isn't that strange? How--despite mirrors, pictures, or reflections in windows--our image in our mind is most always better than reality? This picture really shocked me...and I have some pretty big before pictures. I can see that mom has lost a bunch of weight since, too!! Really--Go look at yourself now, momma!! We were both at our heaviest in this picture!!
Family photo. Irene and the girls. Oh, how I worried them--but I always tried to distract them with humor...thinking they wouldn't worry as much if they were laughing. They really weren't laughing too much inside---always worrying about me...They tell me, it was a constant.
With Amber on her 21st Birthday!!
With KL (Amber's boyfriend), Uncle Keith, and Amber--at her 21st birthday dinner!
With grandma and mom. I love these ladies!!!!
Planning To Reach For More, My Cheesy Speaking Engagement, and More "Lost" Before Shots
I know a stated goal is important, but I must admit something I've experienced since hitting 230: If I'm not careful, I could easily forget that there's still work to be done. I understand that maintaining and losing are two different things, yet very similar. I feel like, eating normal portions, like a normal person, is so automatic now. But what isn't, is setting and committing to a solid workout schedule. I've always stated that redefining my relationship with food--in effect, overcoming a lifetime of food addiction, is my strong point. I'm still and always will be a food addict. But my comfort level with food, my friendship, if you will, is solid. However, with that understood, it's important for me to realize that the exercise part is even more critical now, if I plan to reach further and go beyond where I am physically. I do plan to reach further.
I want that body I've always dreamed of having, and I'm in a perfect position to get exactly what I want. I've stripped myself of the fat shell that I allowed to hold me back for so long and now the canvas is ready for a new picture. I thought about this as I worked out today. The mountain of 276 pounds is gone, and now it's time to fine tune, it's time to dream a little more, do a little more, make it happen again--in other ways.
Melody Knight Young, along with several Ponca Citians, are NYC marathon runners and facebook friends of mine. Melody recently posted to my wall: "So, are you ready to run the half marathon in OKC?" My reply: "That would be amazing. I have a looong way to go before I'm ready for that, I swear. OK--Maybe not that long of a ways...but still, a ways. ;)"
And it's so true. I do have a long ways to go. But it's not impossible. Anything is possible, if I decide to put in the effort needed to achieve. Don't count me out Melody, ever!
I played racquetball with the wall today, just like in the video from my last post. Well, nothing like the video in my last post, really. This time, at 229 pounds, I was flying around that court. I'm training in the court once again. Why? Aside from the fact that it's a phenomenal workout--The owner of the broadcasting company where I work, has challenged me to another racquetball match soon--and he's going to be very surprised at my abilities. Just remember Bill--inside that court, you're not my boss...you're just my next challenger, about to go down!
On Thursday, I had an opportunity to speak at the Lose To Win kick-off event for the third year in a row. It was wonderful! I used 276 pounds of Velveeta to illustrate how much weight I've lost. I even put on my old size 64's and a 6XL "Big Daddy" jersey shirt for my entrance. I had to have two assistants, one on each side, to hold up my pants as I pushed the cart full of Velveeta. It was crazy fun. Those pants---wow, I still can't believe that they were tight when I first bought them. I shared the story of how the button actually popped off and I had to have another sewn on, about an inch over--just to wear them again, they were the only pair of jeans I had at one point. My talk was about how this Lose To Win Challenge can be whatever you desire. It can simply be an eight week contest or it can be life changing forever. If you choose the latter, win the money or not, you'll be winning for the rest of your life! It was a fun speaking engagement and a nice teaser for my upcoming Lose To Win seminar on Thursday January 13th inside the historic Poncan Theatre.
I invited people to come up and share how much they desired to lose---and then, they lifted that amount of Velveeta. I encouraged, "go ahead, walk around with it a little," and then watched as they felt the relief of putting the weight back on the stack. It was a wonderful visual aid and an interesting invitation that many accepted.
I sincerely appreciate all of the wonderful emails and messages sent my way. Thank you! I can't share them all (although I wish I could), but I will share a few--with first names only, in consideration of their privacy. It's messages like these that make me feel on top of the world. All of the work has been worth every drop of sweat, every hour at the keyboard, every personal story shared...worth it, completely:
"Hey Sean, My name is Shirley. I just wanted to say I am so proud of all your
success. I started following your blog after I read your AOL story in
August. What you said made so much sense! Since I stared following I am down 22 lbs and my cholesterol is down 50 points!! Have a wonderful year:)"
"Dear Sean, I started reading your blogs in July and you helped me more than you can know! I am back making better food choices and losing weight. Have another 100 pounds to go but know I can make it with the help of the blogs. Through your blog friends (I was not even aware of blogs before yours) I have made it day to day. Hope you won't let as much time pass in between your blogging as you have had to do recently. Am looking forward to your book coming out. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!! NANCY"
"Hi Sean, Its been almost three months since I originally email you. I am so excited and I wanted to email you again with an update. I have reached my original goal to loose 50 lbs! Thank you so much for being so inspirational! I continue to follow your blogs plus your posts on facebook and enjoy them so. I have looked at pictures of myself and can't believe the difference of 50 lbs and imagine how you feel with all that you have lost. I do have days that I still see myself as the fatter me, but as you mentioned in many of your blogs it's our mind and a mental thing that I need to overcome. I can't thank you enough for being who you are and helping so many people like myself. If I didn't read you blog I don't think I would be at the weight I am today. I plan to continue to loose and the next goal is 25 more but I am so pleased to make it this far and will continue on. I am the healthiest and happiest I have been in 25 years and I feel wonderful! And Size 12 feels fabulous! Thank you again for being so inspirational. Patti"
Virginia writes:
"Hi Sean, sorry for my bad English, but I read from Italy (Florence).
I met you first on your blog and then on facebook. You're such inspirational for my weight loss journey! I'd like to know if your radio station is also on internet,I'd like to hear how sounds your voice :)). I'm tryng to learn English watching movies and hearing English voices....I'd like to come to Pine Ridge reservation ( I love Native American culture) next summer and I'd like to speak an acceptable English. SO... that's it. Good Life, ciao"
I'm so happy for these wonderful people and everyone that shares their story with me!! Thank you so much! I just keep thinking about how your inspiration multiplies exponentially...Because with your success, you're inspiring others around you to do the same--and it keeps going and going!! We can make a difference, my friend!
I traveled back two years into the archives today, visiting January 2009. I found a couple of excerpts I wanted to share:
I constantly have to keep myself ahead of that “line of least resistance.” It's too easy to just not do this. The line of least resistance is what put me up over 500 pounds for so long. The line of least resistance has an all you cant eat buffet, where you never worry about calories. It has comfy sofas and beds, and not a treadmill anywhere remotely close. Every comfort and indulgence is readily available at that line. But it's not free. It cost you dearly. It takes away so much from your life while pretending to be your best friend. So is staying away from that line effortless? No, not even a little bit. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely. Because the rewards of getting healthy and losing weight gives me more than any false friendship that line provides. It's real positive stuff my friend. I can't imagine the potential yet. It's too far reaching to calculate. And the cost of success? Exercise and learning how to limit portions. And I still get to rest when I need to, and I still get to eat whatever I want, I still get to enjoy myself. Moving this body and eating less is a small price to pay for all the rewards it can bring.
From a different day, two years ago--speaking of smaller clothes:
I'm finally on the final hole of that belt I've written about before. When I first started this journey that belt was a good two to three inches from going all the way around me. Then I tried it one day and was able to use the very first hole. I remember what a victory that was. And now I'm down to the very last hole position. This belt is about ready to be retired! What a fantastic way to track progress, hole by hole! It's amazing how good this makes me feel. When I first bought that belt a year and a half ago. I really needed a belt and a few other items, so we drove all the way to Tulsa to the big and tall store. I bought a leather belt two-pack in the largest size they carried and when I tried it on it didn't even come close to fitting. I knew before I even tried that there was no way it would work. Lucky for me the other was a stretchable woven leather design and even though it was technically the same size as the first belt, I was able to stretch it to barely fit. So the little belt made it's way into the closet with the only hope of rescue resting on the possibility that I would someday lose enough weight to use it. I'm on the last hole of that little belt now baby! I get really excited sometimes! You can always tell because my use of exclamation points go through the roof!!!!
This is what it feels like to take a successful stand. Losing weight is such a rewarding experience with so many little victories along the way to that ultimate goal. It seems that I'm celebrating something new all the time. In fact, I think it's time for another Levi's shopping trip to Oklahoma City. I'm going to go for 48's this time. In case you're keeping track, that would be 14 sizes below my largest! I also need some smaller shirts and smaller everything else. There's nothing in my closet I can't wear now. The “someday I'll be able to wear that” items used to outnumber the big stuff two to one. I haven't really thought about buying new clothes just yet because I've still got a ways to go and I don't want to buy new stuff and then be too little for them in a month or two. But I'm going to have to buy some along the way, that's all there is to it! Clothes shopping was always a dreaded idea for me as long as I can remember. Now I look forward to the trip.
My dear Aunt Kelli has once again, uncovered some "lost" before photos that have just left me with my mouth hanging open. I'll write a caption below the one that really got to me recently. I never realized that I looked THAT big. Wow. Thank you Kelli!
And thank you for reading, giving me your support, and sharing your success with me! I want to hear about what you're experiencing! If you haven't already--Please, friend me on facebook!! You can search for me on facebook by using my email address seanboy105@hotmail.com
I've been horrible about updating my Twitter account. I swear--It's as easy as sending a text, but I can't seem to get in the habit. I'll work on that, deal?
Again--thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Lose To Win 2011 kick-off was at the new YMCA!
That's a bunch of Velveeta!
Oh my---yeah---This is a big before--but it's not the one that made me wince...this is:
I never realized I looked this big. Isn't that strange? How--despite mirrors, pictures, or reflections in windows--our image in our mind is most always better than reality? This picture really shocked me...and I have some pretty big before pictures. I can see that mom has lost a bunch of weight since, too!! Really--Go look at yourself now, momma!! We were both at our heaviest in this picture!!
Family photo. Irene and the girls. Oh, how I worried them--but I always tried to distract them with humor...thinking they wouldn't worry as much if they were laughing. They really weren't laughing too much inside---always worrying about me...They tell me, it was a constant.
With Amber on her 21st Birthday!!
With KL (Amber's boyfriend), Uncle Keith, and Amber--at her 21st birthday dinner!
With grandma and mom. I love these ladies!!!!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Day 827-835 Farewell 2010--You Were Incredible To Me, Plus Videos and Pictures!
Day 827-835
Farewell 2010--You Were Incredible To Me, Plus Videos and Pictures!
2010 turned out to be an amazing year, indeed. I look back on everything that has happened and I feel a mixture of emotions. The good far outweighs the bad, but it isn't the "bad" that necessarily brings out a slight sadness. It's changes. So many changes, I lost count at some point. I just watched the video of me playing racquetball after losing just over 100 pounds and my bottom lip started to quiver with emotion. There I was, nearly 400 pounds at that point, and I was feeling better than ever. That was me. It's still me in many ways. When I watch that long and somewhat boring video--it's like looking at the old Sean, the Sean that's gone forever. Is that strange? To kind of, well, "mourn" the loss of the person I was? Even though the man I've become is far better off in numerous ways? I sometimes get too introspective for my own good, I think. But you know what? It really is all good. Being a normal size is a dream come true. Hitting a goal that I sometimes thought was unattainable, that, my friend---makes the entire year a shining success.
I'm forever changed in so many ways. It's like wearing a seat belt in the car. I automatically do it every time now, I buckle up with an effortless motion. At over five hundred pounds, I never put on a seat belt, ever. Most of the time, it simply wouldn't fit. Other times, the effort required was more than I cared to invest, even at the extreme cost of my personal safety. Many of the changes I've experienced, have become automatic--just like wearing that seat belt every time. And that feels very good.
Christmas 2010 was my third Christmas along this road. It was very strange to not have Amber with us (she opted to stay with her boyfriends family--and come home after Christmas), and having Christmas dinner with my girlfriend Karen AND Irene and her boyfriend Allen, was---well---slightly awkward. (If you asked Karen and Allen--probably Extremely Awkward!) We were all guest at my mom's place in Stillwater. As strange as that might sound to some, it isn't really. Irene and I have no ill will toward each other, we get along fine. It's a mutual understanding that divorce doesn't mean we're enemies. We have two beautiful daughters, who need two parents, like they've always had...and they still have that...we just live different lives in different households. It's about love, forgiveness, understanding, and a respectful consideration for each other. Let's talk about something else---because I'm walking that thin line of being too personal here...something I've done many times throughout this journey...But I don't necessarily regret that...It's that kind of transparency that has made this blog what it is today. It's a very real account of a consistent, positive effort--out of the trappings of morbid obesity, and into a new way of life on many different levels...and I'm proud of what it has meant to me and the opportunities it has provided.
Someone once asked me if I get paid from this blog, and if not, why do I put so much time and effort into these writings? (Keep in mind--the archives have nearly two years worth of daily post--nothing like the sporadic posting schedule of today) My answer to them was "no, I don't get paid." But that wasn't really true. It may not have provided a paycheck, but it has given me something far more valuable. Every time someone sends me a message telling me how these writings have helped them--that's my pay...and trust me, it feels so incredible to cash those "checks." And eventually, through books, speaking engagements, and other projects--I plan on making this world of weight loss, my career. It's my passion. I must!! So--no, I don't get paid to write this blog, but it's blessed me in many ways far beyond a paycheck.
My sleep lab study was horrible. It was easily the worst night I've had in a very long time. The good news is, I'll be getting the results soon---and with those results, a new CPAP and plan to be well rested in the coming year. I must be well rested--because we have lots to do!!
I'm looking forward to 2011. Oh my--I'm really looking forward to this year...wow. So many wonderful updates to come along the way, and I'll report them all right here. I sincerely thank you for reading and for giving me your support!
Instead of writing about some of the highlights from 2010, let's take a visual tour---below you'll find some video and pictures from a most amazing 2010. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The sleep study. Very happy about getting this done...I needed it, big time!
With Courtney on Christmas Day
Dressed to brave the frigid temps for the Annual Anderson Family Christmas Day 5K! (it was just two of us Anderson men heading out there...and we were the ONLY PEOPLE on the lake. We couldn't believe it! It wasn't THAT cold. In this entire city, not one other soul was out on that trail...It was very strange. The other people were probably out there when the sun was shining---we waited until the temps chilled into the 20's with nightfall.
Something rare here---me wearing a hat. I'm not a hat person--but it was very important to wear one for this 5K--My ears thanked me for the warmth.
With Courtney and mom
My dear sweet mother! I love her!!
With my Aunt Kelli, Uncle Keith, Mom, and grandma
The freedom to fit on and ride a water craft like this---wow, it's one of the greatest feelings along this road.
I was still nearly 400 pounds here...it's very strange for me to watch this video...very.
Right before getting the "505" tattoo--Having second thoughts...
Getting the "505" tattoo.
The 2010 Lose To Win kick-off speaking engagement. I was so afraid I would crash on that bike. The door opening I rode through was a tight fit---and the floor was slick...it really could have been bad!!! ;) Choose change before change chooses you! Good times, indeed. And OK---the funeral at the start was dramatic--but seriously--that's exactly where I was headed...and it fit with my over-all theme.
This was from 2009--but I love this video---from after the YMCA Turkey Trot 10K---and seriously--If I can do it...You can too. Love it.
Big before picture---with my grandpa...Oh, how I wish he could have lived to see me finally do what he hoped and prayed I would someday.
Huge before shot...oh my...
Eating before a speaking engagement! Lasagna no less!! ;)
Certainly a highlight for me during 2010!
Oh my---wow...my least favorite before picture. But kind of funny...
The first time I ever had both, mom and dad, in the same room together. It was a very big moment for me in 2010.
With Amber!
Goal. Very sweet.
Love this before and after comparison picture.
Get ready, because 2011 is shaping up to be a monumental year!! I can't wait! My New Years Resolution is to be more organized--and hopefully that translates to more frequent updates on this blog!! Thank you for reading, watching, listening, and thank you for your support!
Farewell 2010--You Were Incredible To Me, Plus Videos and Pictures!
2010 turned out to be an amazing year, indeed. I look back on everything that has happened and I feel a mixture of emotions. The good far outweighs the bad, but it isn't the "bad" that necessarily brings out a slight sadness. It's changes. So many changes, I lost count at some point. I just watched the video of me playing racquetball after losing just over 100 pounds and my bottom lip started to quiver with emotion. There I was, nearly 400 pounds at that point, and I was feeling better than ever. That was me. It's still me in many ways. When I watch that long and somewhat boring video--it's like looking at the old Sean, the Sean that's gone forever. Is that strange? To kind of, well, "mourn" the loss of the person I was? Even though the man I've become is far better off in numerous ways? I sometimes get too introspective for my own good, I think. But you know what? It really is all good. Being a normal size is a dream come true. Hitting a goal that I sometimes thought was unattainable, that, my friend---makes the entire year a shining success.
I'm forever changed in so many ways. It's like wearing a seat belt in the car. I automatically do it every time now, I buckle up with an effortless motion. At over five hundred pounds, I never put on a seat belt, ever. Most of the time, it simply wouldn't fit. Other times, the effort required was more than I cared to invest, even at the extreme cost of my personal safety. Many of the changes I've experienced, have become automatic--just like wearing that seat belt every time. And that feels very good.
Christmas 2010 was my third Christmas along this road. It was very strange to not have Amber with us (she opted to stay with her boyfriends family--and come home after Christmas), and having Christmas dinner with my girlfriend Karen AND Irene and her boyfriend Allen, was---well---slightly awkward. (If you asked Karen and Allen--probably Extremely Awkward!) We were all guest at my mom's place in Stillwater. As strange as that might sound to some, it isn't really. Irene and I have no ill will toward each other, we get along fine. It's a mutual understanding that divorce doesn't mean we're enemies. We have two beautiful daughters, who need two parents, like they've always had...and they still have that...we just live different lives in different households. It's about love, forgiveness, understanding, and a respectful consideration for each other. Let's talk about something else---because I'm walking that thin line of being too personal here...something I've done many times throughout this journey...But I don't necessarily regret that...It's that kind of transparency that has made this blog what it is today. It's a very real account of a consistent, positive effort--out of the trappings of morbid obesity, and into a new way of life on many different levels...and I'm proud of what it has meant to me and the opportunities it has provided.
Someone once asked me if I get paid from this blog, and if not, why do I put so much time and effort into these writings? (Keep in mind--the archives have nearly two years worth of daily post--nothing like the sporadic posting schedule of today) My answer to them was "no, I don't get paid." But that wasn't really true. It may not have provided a paycheck, but it has given me something far more valuable. Every time someone sends me a message telling me how these writings have helped them--that's my pay...and trust me, it feels so incredible to cash those "checks." And eventually, through books, speaking engagements, and other projects--I plan on making this world of weight loss, my career. It's my passion. I must!! So--no, I don't get paid to write this blog, but it's blessed me in many ways far beyond a paycheck.
My sleep lab study was horrible. It was easily the worst night I've had in a very long time. The good news is, I'll be getting the results soon---and with those results, a new CPAP and plan to be well rested in the coming year. I must be well rested--because we have lots to do!!
I'm looking forward to 2011. Oh my--I'm really looking forward to this year...wow. So many wonderful updates to come along the way, and I'll report them all right here. I sincerely thank you for reading and for giving me your support!
Instead of writing about some of the highlights from 2010, let's take a visual tour---below you'll find some video and pictures from a most amazing 2010. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The sleep study. Very happy about getting this done...I needed it, big time!
With Courtney on Christmas Day
Dressed to brave the frigid temps for the Annual Anderson Family Christmas Day 5K! (it was just two of us Anderson men heading out there...and we were the ONLY PEOPLE on the lake. We couldn't believe it! It wasn't THAT cold. In this entire city, not one other soul was out on that trail...It was very strange. The other people were probably out there when the sun was shining---we waited until the temps chilled into the 20's with nightfall.
Something rare here---me wearing a hat. I'm not a hat person--but it was very important to wear one for this 5K--My ears thanked me for the warmth.
With Courtney and mom
My dear sweet mother! I love her!!
With my Aunt Kelli, Uncle Keith, Mom, and grandma
The freedom to fit on and ride a water craft like this---wow, it's one of the greatest feelings along this road.
I was still nearly 400 pounds here...it's very strange for me to watch this video...very.
Right before getting the "505" tattoo--Having second thoughts...
Getting the "505" tattoo.
The 2010 Lose To Win kick-off speaking engagement. I was so afraid I would crash on that bike. The door opening I rode through was a tight fit---and the floor was slick...it really could have been bad!!! ;) Choose change before change chooses you! Good times, indeed. And OK---the funeral at the start was dramatic--but seriously--that's exactly where I was headed...and it fit with my over-all theme.
This was from 2009--but I love this video---from after the YMCA Turkey Trot 10K---and seriously--If I can do it...You can too. Love it.
Big before picture---with my grandpa...Oh, how I wish he could have lived to see me finally do what he hoped and prayed I would someday.
Huge before shot...oh my...
Eating before a speaking engagement! Lasagna no less!! ;)
Certainly a highlight for me during 2010!
Oh my---wow...my least favorite before picture. But kind of funny...
The first time I ever had both, mom and dad, in the same room together. It was a very big moment for me in 2010.
With Amber!
Goal. Very sweet.
Love this before and after comparison picture.
Get ready, because 2011 is shaping up to be a monumental year!! I can't wait! My New Years Resolution is to be more organized--and hopefully that translates to more frequent updates on this blog!! Thank you for reading, watching, listening, and thank you for your support!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Day 814-826 Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!
Day 814-826
Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!
This is way too long to go between blog updates. Oh my...wow. A record of sorts, that I'm certainly not happy about. I sincerely appreciate the support and understanding many of my friends have expressed during this incredibly busy time. Not only has it been busy, but I've been dealing with a medical issue that I've kept very quiet about.
The effects of sleep apnea have had a profound effect on me lately. My needs have obviously changed in regard to the settings of my old "sleep machine," and now--a restful nights sleep is hit and miss at best. I can't waste any more time and do any more damage to my internal organs before receiving proper treatment. I really thought that my sleep apnea was 100% caused by my obesity. And it's strange, because after losing the first 100 or so pounds, I was completely free to sleep---machine free, and feel completely rested every morning. But something changed. As I celebrated my freedom from this disorder and continued losing more weight, the symptoms came back. It was sometime after crossing the 200 pounds lost point, that I noticed the return of the old and familiar effects from this exhausting killer.
I'm happy to report: I'm scheduled for a sleep study on the night of December 30th. I cannot continue wishing it away or convincing myself that I can lay in a certain "symptom-free" position. The doctor said something I've been worrying about almost constantly since---He said that the return of my symptoms could have something to do with damage to my heart caused by my years of morbid obesity and the lack of oxygen as a result of sleep apnea. He almost ordered a stress test--but after listening to my heart, considering my exercise ability, and whatever else he took into consideration---He, we---decided to wait on that test. Instead--we're doing a sleep study. If you suffer from sleep apnea--trust me, it's nothing to mess around with...and in the spirit of 100% self-honesty--I've messed around with it a bunch lately. It's about time I do something positive to correctly treat the problem.
This is the worst possible time for me to feel like an exhausted wreck everyday. With my radio schedule and the manuscript weighing heavy on my plate--I must be alert and productive. I haven't been lately, at all. And my slow progress is proof.
I made my way to Stillwater to weigh-in the other day. I didn't make a big deal about it--It was just a check up for me. I've lost another pound, despite my beautiful grandmother's request that I "not lose another pound!" Sorry grandma---229 is what I weigh today.
I still have some weight/excess fat to lose and I'll naturally and gradually make my way to whatever that number will be. I also have some weight to gain---as in, with muscle--in the new weight training area of the YMCA. So really--the number isn't going to matter as much as how I feel and how my clothes fit my smaller body. If I'm fortunate enough to have excess skin removal surgery next year, that too will effect the number. But again---I can't get focused on a number, ever. It's not about that now.
I've allowed myself "extra" calories over the course of the last month---gradually increasing to about 1800 per day. Some days I do, some I don't. It just depends. I still find myself spending way too many calories on loose snacks in the kitchen at the studio. The other day, I consumed about 350 calories worth of pretzels and nuts. That's a little much. The solution?: Preparedness. I simply need to make a point of stocking the kitchen with the kind of snacks I enjoy so I'll feel good about the calorie investment I'm making.
You want to hear a very cool story?
In March, Amber and I traveled to this tattoo shop in Southern Kansas to get our very first tattoos. My "505" tattoo is obviously very important to me--and it has been a wonderful experience to have and show people---especially people that never knew me at 505. It's certainly a conversation piece. Well--now the story gets even better.
The incredibly talented tattoo artist that evening was assigned probably one of the easiest tattoos he's ever completed. "505," nothing fancy--simple block numbers, that's all I wanted--and honestly, all I needed. He was a heavy man himself--I really liked him, and he was of course, interested in the story behind the number. So I told him all about my weight loss and this blog. We had a wonderful conversation about weight loss and our experiences with losing and gaining weight over the years. I'm sure that if we had talked longer, we would have found much more in common...a bunch more, no doubt.
He completed the tattoo and we were on our way. I ran into him not long ago at a remote broadcast and he told me that he was losing weight by eating wonderfully and exercising regularly. I think he had lost about seventy-something pounds at that point. Well--now--it's time for an update:
A recent message from my tattoo artist friend: "Great news to report!!! In the last 6 months, thanks to diet and exercise, I've lost over 140lbs!!!! Feels amazing!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration my friend!!!"
He's out there being consistent in every way---he's redefining his relationship with food and he's exercising everyday. He's taking back control of his life and leaving obesity behind. Talk about choosing change!! I had to ask him the question. Will he get a special tattoo someday, inspired by his amazing weight loss? His answer:
"Yes, a tattoo is definitely in order once I hit my target weight!!! I started at 460lbs, my goal is to get down to 200lbs. Just too feel this great again totally outweighs any desire to eat "bad food"!!! I feel so alive!!!"
I love that story. Thank you, my friend for allowing me to share.
I was back in the archives tonight--reading from December 2008, when I ran across this excerpt:
I was fasting overnight in preparation for my blood work today. By the time I arrived at the doctors office it was nearly noon. Lucky for me they got what they needed on the first stick. The other day they stuck me several times to no avail. While they were at it they decided to give me an EKG. My heart rate was 59. They said between 60 and 80 is perfect. They also said it wasn't a big deal that mine was 59, in fact the EKG looked great. The blood work was going to take a couple of hours to get back from their lab. That gave me a little time to think.
“What if my numbers are bad?” I thought. I don't know how they could be, since they were pretty good to begin with. I seem to never pass up an opportunity to worry about something, even if there's no immediate reason for concern. When I made the call for the results I was very happy at what I heard. My cholesterol was in the 180's before I started losing weight, and that was good. Now my cholesterol has dropped nearly 40 points to a super nice level of 147. It's nothing more than a genetics blessing. Like I've said before, except for the last 103 days, I've done everything in my power to give me horrible cholesterol. I'm just real fortunate to have a 147. My triglycerides were 102, anything below 150 is good. My blood sugar was 99, well below the 119 limit of normal. My LDL was 96, under 130 is great. And my Vldl was 20, which is in range. I guess “in range” is good. They said everything was in range, just perfect. How crazy is that?
I told you, I've been hiding an athlete under all this fat! I had to lay down and pull my shirt up for the EKG. It gave me a perfect opportunity to ask a question I'd been real concerned about.
A month or so ago I was laying down on my bed feeling my ribs. I'd never done that before. I came across a hard bump at the base of my rib cage where the two sides meet. It was very hard, a bone no doubt, but it was sticking up a little. I immediately wondered if this was normal. So there with my shirt up laying on the table at the doctors office, I had my chance to find out. “Is this normal?” “Uh, yes, that's your sternum.” OK, wow, silly me, of course. I was hiding a sternum in there all this time, I just never could feel it, or bothered to notice. I wonder what else I'll notice as the weight continues to melt? I might end up having a tail bone, that would be cool.
By the way, the doctor I mentioned on day 2 of this blog, you know the one that brought me to tears while describing how easily I could die at over 500 pounds? She was there today. When I saw her I proclaimed, “there's the doctor that scared the heck out of me not too long ago.” She smiled and said “It worked didn't it?” Yes, it did, and it's continuing to work everyday. She was just brutally honest, and I'm thankful for that honesty and thorough description of what my insides were going through at over 500 pounds. I'll never forget her. She really made a difference in me.
Since that day---I've discovered a tail bone, a bunch of ribs, and hip bones too! I'm thrilled!!!
AOL's www.thatsfit.com has included me in an "update" story. I'm in wonderful company too. If you check out the link below--be sure to read all of them if you can---including the entries featuring my friends Jack, Lyn, and Susan!! Here's the link: http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/12/14/best-weight-loss-success-stories-of-2010/
The Ponca City News just released a wonderful write up all about me hitting my goal. The story was such an awesome blessing. A big thank you to Beverly Bryant and the PCN!! If you live outside of my local area--you can still read the article by clicking the special link below. The story is on two different pages of the below Ponca City news PDF link. The front page of section C---and then scroll down to page 3C for the rest of the story---including an extensive question and answer interview segment. Here's the link: http://www.poncacity.com/news/docs/mw/mw.pdf By the way--This PDF link will only be available for a week---so if it's after the 29th, it's probably not active.
I recently received a message from a gentleman who just started his own weight loss blog. It turns out, we have much in common. Please check out his blog if you have the time! The address: www.505point8.com That's right---he started at 505 too!!!
I sincerely wish you a warm and safe Christmas with plenty of everything you need. Peace, love, family, and friends. Thank you for reading. I've promised myself that I will not go so long again without posting something...after all--Not every post needs to be a giant post. Look for an after-Christmas post coming soon. I have four days off in a row---and I'm looking forward to every single minute. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Recent picture with my youngest daughter Courtney. She's doing so well!!! Love you sweety!!!
This is a big before picture--Over 500 pounds---at Christmas 2007!!
Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!
This is way too long to go between blog updates. Oh my...wow. A record of sorts, that I'm certainly not happy about. I sincerely appreciate the support and understanding many of my friends have expressed during this incredibly busy time. Not only has it been busy, but I've been dealing with a medical issue that I've kept very quiet about.
The effects of sleep apnea have had a profound effect on me lately. My needs have obviously changed in regard to the settings of my old "sleep machine," and now--a restful nights sleep is hit and miss at best. I can't waste any more time and do any more damage to my internal organs before receiving proper treatment. I really thought that my sleep apnea was 100% caused by my obesity. And it's strange, because after losing the first 100 or so pounds, I was completely free to sleep---machine free, and feel completely rested every morning. But something changed. As I celebrated my freedom from this disorder and continued losing more weight, the symptoms came back. It was sometime after crossing the 200 pounds lost point, that I noticed the return of the old and familiar effects from this exhausting killer.
I'm happy to report: I'm scheduled for a sleep study on the night of December 30th. I cannot continue wishing it away or convincing myself that I can lay in a certain "symptom-free" position. The doctor said something I've been worrying about almost constantly since---He said that the return of my symptoms could have something to do with damage to my heart caused by my years of morbid obesity and the lack of oxygen as a result of sleep apnea. He almost ordered a stress test--but after listening to my heart, considering my exercise ability, and whatever else he took into consideration---He, we---decided to wait on that test. Instead--we're doing a sleep study. If you suffer from sleep apnea--trust me, it's nothing to mess around with...and in the spirit of 100% self-honesty--I've messed around with it a bunch lately. It's about time I do something positive to correctly treat the problem.
This is the worst possible time for me to feel like an exhausted wreck everyday. With my radio schedule and the manuscript weighing heavy on my plate--I must be alert and productive. I haven't been lately, at all. And my slow progress is proof.
I made my way to Stillwater to weigh-in the other day. I didn't make a big deal about it--It was just a check up for me. I've lost another pound, despite my beautiful grandmother's request that I "not lose another pound!" Sorry grandma---229 is what I weigh today.
I still have some weight/excess fat to lose and I'll naturally and gradually make my way to whatever that number will be. I also have some weight to gain---as in, with muscle--in the new weight training area of the YMCA. So really--the number isn't going to matter as much as how I feel and how my clothes fit my smaller body. If I'm fortunate enough to have excess skin removal surgery next year, that too will effect the number. But again---I can't get focused on a number, ever. It's not about that now.
I've allowed myself "extra" calories over the course of the last month---gradually increasing to about 1800 per day. Some days I do, some I don't. It just depends. I still find myself spending way too many calories on loose snacks in the kitchen at the studio. The other day, I consumed about 350 calories worth of pretzels and nuts. That's a little much. The solution?: Preparedness. I simply need to make a point of stocking the kitchen with the kind of snacks I enjoy so I'll feel good about the calorie investment I'm making.
You want to hear a very cool story?
In March, Amber and I traveled to this tattoo shop in Southern Kansas to get our very first tattoos. My "505" tattoo is obviously very important to me--and it has been a wonderful experience to have and show people---especially people that never knew me at 505. It's certainly a conversation piece. Well--now the story gets even better.
The incredibly talented tattoo artist that evening was assigned probably one of the easiest tattoos he's ever completed. "505," nothing fancy--simple block numbers, that's all I wanted--and honestly, all I needed. He was a heavy man himself--I really liked him, and he was of course, interested in the story behind the number. So I told him all about my weight loss and this blog. We had a wonderful conversation about weight loss and our experiences with losing and gaining weight over the years. I'm sure that if we had talked longer, we would have found much more in common...a bunch more, no doubt.
He completed the tattoo and we were on our way. I ran into him not long ago at a remote broadcast and he told me that he was losing weight by eating wonderfully and exercising regularly. I think he had lost about seventy-something pounds at that point. Well--now--it's time for an update:
A recent message from my tattoo artist friend: "Great news to report!!! In the last 6 months, thanks to diet and exercise, I've lost over 140lbs!!!! Feels amazing!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration my friend!!!"
He's out there being consistent in every way---he's redefining his relationship with food and he's exercising everyday. He's taking back control of his life and leaving obesity behind. Talk about choosing change!! I had to ask him the question. Will he get a special tattoo someday, inspired by his amazing weight loss? His answer:
"Yes, a tattoo is definitely in order once I hit my target weight!!! I started at 460lbs, my goal is to get down to 200lbs. Just too feel this great again totally outweighs any desire to eat "bad food"!!! I feel so alive!!!"
I love that story. Thank you, my friend for allowing me to share.
I was back in the archives tonight--reading from December 2008, when I ran across this excerpt:
I was fasting overnight in preparation for my blood work today. By the time I arrived at the doctors office it was nearly noon. Lucky for me they got what they needed on the first stick. The other day they stuck me several times to no avail. While they were at it they decided to give me an EKG. My heart rate was 59. They said between 60 and 80 is perfect. They also said it wasn't a big deal that mine was 59, in fact the EKG looked great. The blood work was going to take a couple of hours to get back from their lab. That gave me a little time to think.
“What if my numbers are bad?” I thought. I don't know how they could be, since they were pretty good to begin with. I seem to never pass up an opportunity to worry about something, even if there's no immediate reason for concern. When I made the call for the results I was very happy at what I heard. My cholesterol was in the 180's before I started losing weight, and that was good. Now my cholesterol has dropped nearly 40 points to a super nice level of 147. It's nothing more than a genetics blessing. Like I've said before, except for the last 103 days, I've done everything in my power to give me horrible cholesterol. I'm just real fortunate to have a 147. My triglycerides were 102, anything below 150 is good. My blood sugar was 99, well below the 119 limit of normal. My LDL was 96, under 130 is great. And my Vldl was 20, which is in range. I guess “in range” is good. They said everything was in range, just perfect. How crazy is that?
I told you, I've been hiding an athlete under all this fat! I had to lay down and pull my shirt up for the EKG. It gave me a perfect opportunity to ask a question I'd been real concerned about.
A month or so ago I was laying down on my bed feeling my ribs. I'd never done that before. I came across a hard bump at the base of my rib cage where the two sides meet. It was very hard, a bone no doubt, but it was sticking up a little. I immediately wondered if this was normal. So there with my shirt up laying on the table at the doctors office, I had my chance to find out. “Is this normal?” “Uh, yes, that's your sternum.” OK, wow, silly me, of course. I was hiding a sternum in there all this time, I just never could feel it, or bothered to notice. I wonder what else I'll notice as the weight continues to melt? I might end up having a tail bone, that would be cool.
By the way, the doctor I mentioned on day 2 of this blog, you know the one that brought me to tears while describing how easily I could die at over 500 pounds? She was there today. When I saw her I proclaimed, “there's the doctor that scared the heck out of me not too long ago.” She smiled and said “It worked didn't it?” Yes, it did, and it's continuing to work everyday. She was just brutally honest, and I'm thankful for that honesty and thorough description of what my insides were going through at over 500 pounds. I'll never forget her. She really made a difference in me.
Since that day---I've discovered a tail bone, a bunch of ribs, and hip bones too! I'm thrilled!!!
AOL's www.thatsfit.com has included me in an "update" story. I'm in wonderful company too. If you check out the link below--be sure to read all of them if you can---including the entries featuring my friends Jack, Lyn, and Susan!! Here's the link: http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/12/14/best-weight-loss-success-stories-of-2010/
The Ponca City News just released a wonderful write up all about me hitting my goal. The story was such an awesome blessing. A big thank you to Beverly Bryant and the PCN!! If you live outside of my local area--you can still read the article by clicking the special link below. The story is on two different pages of the below Ponca City news PDF link. The front page of section C---and then scroll down to page 3C for the rest of the story---including an extensive question and answer interview segment. Here's the link: http://www.poncacity.com/news/docs/mw/mw.pdf By the way--This PDF link will only be available for a week---so if it's after the 29th, it's probably not active.
I recently received a message from a gentleman who just started his own weight loss blog. It turns out, we have much in common. Please check out his blog if you have the time! The address: www.505point8.com That's right---he started at 505 too!!!
I sincerely wish you a warm and safe Christmas with plenty of everything you need. Peace, love, family, and friends. Thank you for reading. I've promised myself that I will not go so long again without posting something...after all--Not every post needs to be a giant post. Look for an after-Christmas post coming soon. I have four days off in a row---and I'm looking forward to every single minute. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Recent picture with my youngest daughter Courtney. She's doing so well!!! Love you sweety!!!
This is a big before picture--Over 500 pounds---at Christmas 2007!!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Day 805-813 Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!
Day 805-813
Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!
A friend of mine sent me a big box of jeans recently. Really nice jeans too! Even a pair of size 32 Lucky Jeans. I'm wondering if he meant to send those. It might take some time, workouts, and maybe excess skin removal surgery to wear them--but I think they just became my "one of these days" jeans. It was a generous gift, indeed. And perhaps I can pass along the favor to someone else someday. I will, absolutely!
Speaking of new jeans. In the archives on Day 85, December 8th, 2008---I found this excerpt, all about getting into smaller jeans. "Smaller," being size 54's:
"Today has been a really long day. It started at 5am and it's not over yet! Kelli and I went to Oklahoma City, Kelli for a birth certificate, I was driving Kelli, and since I was down that way picked up a pair of Levis at the Big and Tall store. The other day I predicted that I would fit into a mens 54. After picking out a few 54's and a couple 56's, I went in to the dressing room to get some proof positive results! I tried on the Levis 560 54 inch waist first. And from the moment they buttoned and zipped without trouble, I knew they were the ones. Eighty-Five days ago I was a size 60 or 62, then I nailed the guess the other day! And these will only cover my hide for a very short time, I know, but it felt so good to get into them comfortably. I immediately ripped off all the tags, put on my shoes, and made my way to the checkout with the jeans I wore in the store bundled in my hand. I was buying these jeans. And I wasn't even going to take them off for the ride home. They were mine. They felt good, they were Levis! It's been a while since I could fit into Levis comfortably. On the way out of the store I gave a little wink to the 36's on the top shelf, as if to say... “I'll be back for you someday soon!” And I will! I wonder what that will feel like? I can't wait to find out! Before that triumphant jean buying trip, I'll buy bigger sizes along the way, sure. Size 42 will be a milestone size. That's the size I was wearing in 9th grade. I'm really not that far away!! It felt so good to wear those jeans out of the store, I didn't even notice how tired I was."
Now, after losing 275 pounds, and having a pair of size 36 Levis that fit nicely--It's very cool to read that excerpt and realize: I buy jeans from the top shelf now, you know...where they keep the smaller sizes! I love it!
I've had several emails asking me about my plan for maintenance. Like everything else along this road, I'm gradually getting there. I'm not quite ready for maintenance just yet. BUT---I am slowly increasing my calories. My budget is flexible now, anywhere between 1500 and 1800 is fine with me. I must say though, there are days when I still have trouble hitting 1500. Let me explain, because for some, that must sound really annoying to read. I have become very practiced at getting the most bang for my calorie "buck," and that natural tendency to trim calories where I can is kind of hard to shake. Instead of an egg white omelet, it's OK to throw in a whole egg, maybe two sometimes. I can add a little cheese to that baked potato. I can "afford" to spend a little more occasionally, on things I would normally trim or delete. The bottom line is this: I'm just eating like a normal person, not like a food addict. I no longer depend on food to make me happy. I make me happy, not ice cream or gravy. Food is good. I love food, always will. But food and I have a new and wonderful relationship that isn't dysfunctional. And it's something I never really thought possible, but now I know it is, because I'm living it everyday.
An example of this new understanding between food and me was very clear just last weekend at a wonderful place called: (Cue scary music) The Cheesecake Factory!!! I did my research going in, and really--I didn't like what I discovered. Their menu is loaded at almost every turn. Even things that look and sound innocent enough, must be prepared with butter, grease, and heavy cream, because the calorie counts are anything but innocent. I was really shocked. I was surprised too, about the cheesecake. A big regular slice was just over 700 calories, slightly under 360 for half--and that's what I did, half. It was a bit more calories than I normally "invest" in dessert, but that's just something that happens sometimes. I need to make that a t-shirt: Cheesecake--It happens, sometimes...was it good?
Yes --It was by far the best cheesecake I've ever consumed!! Before the cheesecake, we enjoyed a meal. The strategy was simple: Karen and I would share a meal. We picked something good, that didn't seem too loaded. We would be guesstimating at best, because the pecan crusted catfish was a "special of the day," and not a part of the calorie counts I found online. And oh, by the way--the calorie counts I found online were from a person in the Northwestern United States, a place where calorie counts are required by law, who took digital pictures of the entire menu--with calorie counts. The eleven ounce catfish fillet was "crusted," but seared, then baked. I had half--along with half a serving of the potatoes (which qualified as a regular serving) and half the corn succotash. I'm confident my plate was under 600 calories...add the calories of the cheesecake, and this was easily a thousand calorie expenditure. But it wasn't three or four thousand calories--and I think Old Sean could have made it that way. I had managed my calories a little short earlier in the day, just for this trip. That's not always the best thing to do metabolism wise, but it's something normal people do. "I knew we were going out later, so I had a light lunch." See--completely normal rationale.
I experienced a couple of "wow" reactions recently, that really left me feeling wonderful. I just love running into people I haven't been around in over two years. The only thing recognizable about me, is my voice. That's it! And often times, that's what is said: "If I hadn't heard you speak, I wouldn't have known it was you!" I really enjoyed this one: "Sean, is that you??? How much weight have you lost, dear Lord---look at you!" Yeah--that was very cool. I NEVER, never, never get tired of those...ever.
I'm continuing to work on the manuscript for my first book, "Finding Transformation Road," a weight loss memoir that chronicles the road to and from over five hundred pounds. I sometimes wish I could share some of it with you here, but I can't. I'm so excited, because it's really been a positive experience. I can't wait for you to read this---If you have enjoyed reading this blog from Day 1, then you'll appreciate this upcoming book.
I've allowed my work schedule combined with my sometimes poor sleeping schedule, to effect my writing schedule this week, but I'm always mindful of what pays the bills at this point in my life, and that's my broadcasting career. I still struggle with getting enough quality sleep, and that's not good at all. I must also remember--sleep deprivation can have horrible effects on ones health and well being---including metabolism!!
I try to post regularly on my facebook page. I enjoy the dialogue that sometimes develops along a comment thread. You can learn some very good information! And often times--people who have opened their own "Calorie Bank and Trust," post updates on my wall---and it just absolutely thrills me!!! If we're not facebook friends--then please, by all means---search for me on facebook and friend me!!! I'm listed under my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com
To the kind and caring friend that reminded me that "there's no room for vanity in heaven." I say this: I've spent my entire life hating the way I looked, feeling like the ugliest person in every room, feeling like a freak because of my morbid obesity. Even now, I'm still highly insecure about how I look in so many ways. So, I appreciate the loving guidance and intent--but I will not apologize for kind of liking the new me. Call it vanity if you wish, whatever. I've been very blessed along this road, and I give thanks everyday---in between taking new pictures, of course. I'm kidding. Seriously---I never forget from where I've come. That's exactly why I have my "505" tattoo. It reminds me everyday...and that's good.
Thank you for reading, my friend...seriously, thank you! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I love my tattoo!
At over 500 pounds!
Photo courtesy of Cathy Cole!
My "Speedracer" jacket...
I found these amazing ice cream bars from Breyers--for only 130 calories each!!! Love 'em!!!
The pecan crusted catfish dinner from The Cheesecake Factory--as served.
My half was plenty of food--very nice!
Homemade beef tacos and homemade guacamole---almost qualifies as a salad...almost.
Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!
A friend of mine sent me a big box of jeans recently. Really nice jeans too! Even a pair of size 32 Lucky Jeans. I'm wondering if he meant to send those. It might take some time, workouts, and maybe excess skin removal surgery to wear them--but I think they just became my "one of these days" jeans. It was a generous gift, indeed. And perhaps I can pass along the favor to someone else someday. I will, absolutely!
Speaking of new jeans. In the archives on Day 85, December 8th, 2008---I found this excerpt, all about getting into smaller jeans. "Smaller," being size 54's:
"Today has been a really long day. It started at 5am and it's not over yet! Kelli and I went to Oklahoma City, Kelli for a birth certificate, I was driving Kelli, and since I was down that way picked up a pair of Levis at the Big and Tall store. The other day I predicted that I would fit into a mens 54. After picking out a few 54's and a couple 56's, I went in to the dressing room to get some proof positive results! I tried on the Levis 560 54 inch waist first. And from the moment they buttoned and zipped without trouble, I knew they were the ones. Eighty-Five days ago I was a size 60 or 62, then I nailed the guess the other day! And these will only cover my hide for a very short time, I know, but it felt so good to get into them comfortably. I immediately ripped off all the tags, put on my shoes, and made my way to the checkout with the jeans I wore in the store bundled in my hand. I was buying these jeans. And I wasn't even going to take them off for the ride home. They were mine. They felt good, they were Levis! It's been a while since I could fit into Levis comfortably. On the way out of the store I gave a little wink to the 36's on the top shelf, as if to say... “I'll be back for you someday soon!” And I will! I wonder what that will feel like? I can't wait to find out! Before that triumphant jean buying trip, I'll buy bigger sizes along the way, sure. Size 42 will be a milestone size. That's the size I was wearing in 9th grade. I'm really not that far away!! It felt so good to wear those jeans out of the store, I didn't even notice how tired I was."
Now, after losing 275 pounds, and having a pair of size 36 Levis that fit nicely--It's very cool to read that excerpt and realize: I buy jeans from the top shelf now, you know...where they keep the smaller sizes! I love it!
I've had several emails asking me about my plan for maintenance. Like everything else along this road, I'm gradually getting there. I'm not quite ready for maintenance just yet. BUT---I am slowly increasing my calories. My budget is flexible now, anywhere between 1500 and 1800 is fine with me. I must say though, there are days when I still have trouble hitting 1500. Let me explain, because for some, that must sound really annoying to read. I have become very practiced at getting the most bang for my calorie "buck," and that natural tendency to trim calories where I can is kind of hard to shake. Instead of an egg white omelet, it's OK to throw in a whole egg, maybe two sometimes. I can add a little cheese to that baked potato. I can "afford" to spend a little more occasionally, on things I would normally trim or delete. The bottom line is this: I'm just eating like a normal person, not like a food addict. I no longer depend on food to make me happy. I make me happy, not ice cream or gravy. Food is good. I love food, always will. But food and I have a new and wonderful relationship that isn't dysfunctional. And it's something I never really thought possible, but now I know it is, because I'm living it everyday.
An example of this new understanding between food and me was very clear just last weekend at a wonderful place called: (Cue scary music) The Cheesecake Factory!!! I did my research going in, and really--I didn't like what I discovered. Their menu is loaded at almost every turn. Even things that look and sound innocent enough, must be prepared with butter, grease, and heavy cream, because the calorie counts are anything but innocent. I was really shocked. I was surprised too, about the cheesecake. A big regular slice was just over 700 calories, slightly under 360 for half--and that's what I did, half. It was a bit more calories than I normally "invest" in dessert, but that's just something that happens sometimes. I need to make that a t-shirt: Cheesecake--It happens, sometimes...was it good?
Yes --It was by far the best cheesecake I've ever consumed!! Before the cheesecake, we enjoyed a meal. The strategy was simple: Karen and I would share a meal. We picked something good, that didn't seem too loaded. We would be guesstimating at best, because the pecan crusted catfish was a "special of the day," and not a part of the calorie counts I found online. And oh, by the way--the calorie counts I found online were from a person in the Northwestern United States, a place where calorie counts are required by law, who took digital pictures of the entire menu--with calorie counts. The eleven ounce catfish fillet was "crusted," but seared, then baked. I had half--along with half a serving of the potatoes (which qualified as a regular serving) and half the corn succotash. I'm confident my plate was under 600 calories...add the calories of the cheesecake, and this was easily a thousand calorie expenditure. But it wasn't three or four thousand calories--and I think Old Sean could have made it that way. I had managed my calories a little short earlier in the day, just for this trip. That's not always the best thing to do metabolism wise, but it's something normal people do. "I knew we were going out later, so I had a light lunch." See--completely normal rationale.
I experienced a couple of "wow" reactions recently, that really left me feeling wonderful. I just love running into people I haven't been around in over two years. The only thing recognizable about me, is my voice. That's it! And often times, that's what is said: "If I hadn't heard you speak, I wouldn't have known it was you!" I really enjoyed this one: "Sean, is that you??? How much weight have you lost, dear Lord---look at you!" Yeah--that was very cool. I NEVER, never, never get tired of those...ever.
I'm continuing to work on the manuscript for my first book, "Finding Transformation Road," a weight loss memoir that chronicles the road to and from over five hundred pounds. I sometimes wish I could share some of it with you here, but I can't. I'm so excited, because it's really been a positive experience. I can't wait for you to read this---If you have enjoyed reading this blog from Day 1, then you'll appreciate this upcoming book.
I've allowed my work schedule combined with my sometimes poor sleeping schedule, to effect my writing schedule this week, but I'm always mindful of what pays the bills at this point in my life, and that's my broadcasting career. I still struggle with getting enough quality sleep, and that's not good at all. I must also remember--sleep deprivation can have horrible effects on ones health and well being---including metabolism!!
I try to post regularly on my facebook page. I enjoy the dialogue that sometimes develops along a comment thread. You can learn some very good information! And often times--people who have opened their own "Calorie Bank and Trust," post updates on my wall---and it just absolutely thrills me!!! If we're not facebook friends--then please, by all means---search for me on facebook and friend me!!! I'm listed under my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com
To the kind and caring friend that reminded me that "there's no room for vanity in heaven." I say this: I've spent my entire life hating the way I looked, feeling like the ugliest person in every room, feeling like a freak because of my morbid obesity. Even now, I'm still highly insecure about how I look in so many ways. So, I appreciate the loving guidance and intent--but I will not apologize for kind of liking the new me. Call it vanity if you wish, whatever. I've been very blessed along this road, and I give thanks everyday---in between taking new pictures, of course. I'm kidding. Seriously---I never forget from where I've come. That's exactly why I have my "505" tattoo. It reminds me everyday...and that's good.
Thank you for reading, my friend...seriously, thank you! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
I love my tattoo!
At over 500 pounds!
Photo courtesy of Cathy Cole!
My "Speedracer" jacket...
I found these amazing ice cream bars from Breyers--for only 130 calories each!!! Love 'em!!!
The pecan crusted catfish dinner from The Cheesecake Factory--as served.
My half was plenty of food--very nice!
Homemade beef tacos and homemade guacamole---almost qualifies as a salad...almost.
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