Day 604 Every Pound Makes A Difference and Defeating Self-Defeating Thoughts

Day 604

Every Pound Makes A Difference and Defeating Self-Defeating Thoughts

The story I shared yesterday about positioning myself in such a way, that my
abdominal muscles were hard and covered only by a thin layer of skin, was a
very personal thing to share. It might have sounded silly, but this
self-discovery is common among successful losers. I received a couple of
e-mails from people that have experienced the same fascination with their
slimmer body. It’s such a foreign feeling. When I lay on my side and my
hipbone is sticking up and I feel it, it just makes me happy enough to cry.
I’ve never felt better in my entire life. The loose skin? Yeah, whatever…I
mean really, it’s a small price to pay for good health and considering the
damage I’ve done to this body for so long, it could be much worse. I’m not
saying I’ll never have a removal surgery, but it isn’t something I’m dead
set on anymore. I’m still thrilled when I look in the mirror and I fully
appreciate the transformation that has taken place on many different levels.

I’m at the point where every pound seems to make a difference I can feel and
even see. I put on the size 38 Levis button fly jeans today. These are a
tighter cut than my other jeans, a small 38 we’ll call it. I put them on
for the “Lose To Win” kick-off seminar, but the thought of wearing them all
day just wasn’t appealing. Well---Today was good. I put them on and felt
perfectly comfortable. So now you know what I must do, I have to buy some
more 38’s, and more importantly—some size 36! It will not be long!

Today’s work schedule was already long without the threat of more severe
weather. I had my show in the morning, production from just after the show
through mid-day, then a remote broadcast from 3 to 7pm. I was prepared food
wise, I packed fruit and mozzarella cheese. And I had a chance to run home
for lunch before my afternoon broadcast. I grilled a chicken breast and
baked a flat-out mushroom and cheese pizza. The entire lunch was a
delicious 360 calories and left me feeling full. This time, I would not be
tempted by the food at the casino broadcast! Temptation is always toughest
when we’re hungry. I try to never be hungry. Eating something every 3 to 4
hours certainly helps in that regard.

I had a chance to see the young man at the casino again tonight. He started
in excess of 600 pounds and already he’s dropping into the 590’s. He’s
super excited about the “Lose To Win” Challenge, but clearly his motivation
runs much deeper than this 9-week contest. It’s exciting to talk with him
about his goals and dreams. It fires me up! He told me that he turns to
this blog to help him stay focused. Reading about and seeing my
transformation has made a profound impact on him. He knows he can do this
too. What a wonderful feeling it is to be in this position to inspire.
This is what it’s all about for me. If I never write another thing relating
to weight loss or never speak to another group of overweight people wanting
to choose change---I’ll still be happy because I really feel that I’ve made
a difference for some people through sharing my story and experiences. And
that is really the greatest feeling in the world.

The plan tonight was simple. As soon as the broadcast ended at 7pm, I would
head home---eat something light, then head to the YMCA for an amazing
workout---exactly what I did last week, remember? But no, no…not this
Wednesday…Severe weather was threatening and after coordinating schedules
with a co-worker, it was decided: I would drop in bed early---and get up
before midnight to cover weather throughout the overnight hours. (I ended
up not waking up until almost 1am. Storms were in progress—I relieved Gayle
by 2am) I’m not allowed to feel bad about this missed workout. But like I
said yesterday, my workouts this week are almost non-existent. And that
makes me feel horrible regardless of the circumstances.

I think I’ve officially moved my weigh day to Thursday. Yep---Wednesdays,
especially this month, are packed. Thursday works much better. So, that
means tomorrow we step on the scale. I’m not even going to guess, but
judging from the fit and feel of these size 38 Levi 501’s, we may have a
good one! I hope so! We’ll see---and I’ll be sure to post an after
weigh-in update on facebook and a mass e-mail. I stopped sending out the
mass-text weigh day update to close family and friends because not everyone
has a good text plan. Facebook or an e-mail is free for everyone!

This entire journey is about shifting the way we think about and approach
food in everyday life. It’s all about our attitude really, and it’s
something that was highlighted on this blog exactly one year ago today.
From May12th, 2009:

Tonight we held Amber's welcome home cookout as promised! I'm so happy to
have her home for the summer. I'm even happier to report that everyone
enjoyed a reasonable meal without going overboard. I kept my cookout food at
under 500 calories. I had a hamburger with bun, mustard, onion, and a little
ketchup. I also enjoyed a hot dog minus the bun, dipping it in mustard! Oh,
and a half a serving of Doritos too. It was a wonderful visit with family. I
can remember encountering similar occasions during past weight loss attempts
with a complete acceptance that I would fail. I would think to myself, How
can I possibly stay on track with all the wonderful food? I would decide to
fail before the event even started. It's the same thought process that kept
me from starting so many times. I'd take one look at the calendar and decide
that I couldn't possibly stay on track during the holidays or during special
occasions and family get togethers because I was supposed to eat a bunch
during these times. Isn't that crazy? But I'm sure I'm not the only one that
has done this before. It's common I'm sure. Defeating myself before I even
start, that's a problem I no longer have and that feels amazing! It's all
about getting rid of every excuse that tries to prevent our changes. 240
days ago I decided that the excuses must be rendered powerless in order for
me to succeed. They are powerless and I'm succeeding rather well.

Deciding to fail and fully accepting that failure before I even started a
weight loss attempt was a horrible pattern for me. I’m so glad I opened my
eyes to this facet of my past behaviors.

Wish me a good weigh day and maybe a nap tomorrow. Thank you for reading.
Goodnight and…

Good Choices,
Sean