November 24th, 2018 Finding Solutions

November 24th, 2018 Finding Solutions

Yesterday: I maintained the integrity of my reduced calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The visit with family has gone exceptionally well this week. Another big gathering today at a Chinese buffet place in our hometown will bring together even more family. Mom isn't accustomed to being on the go this much, but she's loving it! She's been coming and going so much lately, the nurses' joke with her, "leaving us again, Miss Beverly?"  Today's excursion to Stillwater will be another wonderful opportunity to connect and visit with family we don't see very often.

I can navigate most restaurants. I go in knowing the boundaries of my food plan and knowing, without question, what I need and what is off limits for me in order for it to be an on-plan meal. I'm not afraid to ask specifically for what I need. I don't mind ordering items separately, assembling a meal that works for me, in fact, I did that yesterday at the Mexican restaurant, assembling a fajita chicken salad with only on-plan ingredients--that was fairly simple and I've done it countless times. However, not all restaurants are created equal--and today's restaurant gathering is a completely different story.

I've tried to make this Chinese buffet place work for my food plan. I've scanned the offerings and I've asked detailed questions about the ingredients used. The answers were not in line with my food plan--at all. Now, to be fair, if I were a salad lover, I could certainly make this place work. I'm not. I've never been a salad lover. Yes--the chicken fajita salad thing yesterday worked well and was thoroughly enjoyed--but it's different. That salad used shredded lettuce and contained a nice combination of on-plan ingredients I truly enjoy. A salad bar typically doesn't contain those things--and it typically uses leafy lettuce--and I'm strangely picky about the cut of my lettuce. Those that know me well would laugh at that last sentence because they know my "lettuce issues." I tell ya what--let's not call them "issues." I prefer "preferences." But anyway--I veered off point. My point is...

A Chinese buffet place simply doesn't work for me. Aside from the issues of refined sugar and/or deep fried most everything, there's a psychological element involving my 164-pound relapse/regain period. One of my biggest binge foods involved a dish from a local Chinese restaurant (I'll spare you the glorified food porn description) containing every possible trigger known to me at this point in time: High fat, high refined sugar, refined flour, deep fried, loads of carbs---and somewhere hiding underneath all those trigger ingredients, chicken. I remember ordering that time and time again--and every time, feeling a billion miles away from any semblance of a plan--and truly, feeling scared, hopeless, sad, depressed---and really hoping that this time, the magic trigger dish might take me away from all of those emotions and worry, if not permanently-- maybe for a little while...just let me dive into that illusion of comfort and forget about things. In that pattern, the temporary reprieve became shorter and shorter and I needed more and more to keep on living in the chaos of my addiction.

Why don't you simply request a change in location for the family dinner? Because I'm putting food in its proper place. I will eat before or after the get-together. It's seriously not a big deal. I will focus on visiting (which is the main purpose of the event in the first place), and I'll drink water. The last time (a year ago) we held a family gathering there, I did the same thing and honestly, I don't think very many noticed I wasn't eating. I was engaged and enjoying the conversations. Those that might have noticed know me well enough to know, I'm fine, I've got a food plan, and I'll take care of me.

That's the thing. Maintaining the boundaries of my food plan is my responsibility, not anyone else's. There was a time in my life when I would put that responsibility on other people and circumstances, conveniently playing the victim in an effort to enable my compulsive eating behaviors. "Everyone picked that place, what could I do? I had to eat--I didn't want to offend anybody or be rude! Oh well, I'll do better next time." In that old line of thinking, I made everyone else and the circumstances surrounding every event, responsible for keeping the integrity of my food plan. I could easily rationalize my wildly off-plan choices by pointing to the variables in play and in that, I was off the hook. The bottom line is, when we stop looking for outs we start finding solutions.

Of course, if it was simply one or two people meeting me for dinner, I might request we pick a different place. But I'm not asking a dozen or more people to change their plans so I can order some chicken tacos!  
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I rarely include a guest post of sorts--but today, I want to share some powerful words from Michael Funaro in Las Vegas. He was very gracious and open in approving my share request. Thank you, Michael! I first met Michael in 2014. Along with my friend Jon from Wisconsin, the three of us enjoyed a dinner and visit.

Michael's story and path is similar to many of us along this road--actually, very similar to most of us. The ups and downs, the losing and regaining--the old diet mentality type stuff--he's been there/done that, too. Michael is a member of the support group I facilitate where he stays connected and shares regularly. He practices his plan each day--and he does it amid incredible challenges. He's incredibly humble and has a beautiful respect for the fragility of it all along this road. Michael inspires me. The following is a post he shared exclusively with our group--and now, with his permission, I'm sharing it with you. 

From Michael Funaro:

What a difference a year makes! Happy Black Friday to all of you that will partake. Me, I stay as far away from stores today as possible.

One year ago my life was so different. When I was writing in my journal last night, the entry above it for 2017 on this day stated, "I wonder what the box below will hold on this day next year? I hope and pray that it will be better than today."

I think back to last Black Friday. I had a huge food hangover from probably 10,000 calories of sugar and carbs. I know my blood sugar was well North of 300 on that morning. I was miserable, my attitude sucked and I was at least 120 lbs heavier (probably closer to 150).

I know our ultimate goal is the weight, but the journey can be so rewarding too. We have all those great NSV's along the way. Little ones to big ones. For me, I'm so thankful for the biggest one today. I took my blood sugar this morning and it was 108. So thankful for that. Some of you are either directly or indirectly affected by diabetes and it's such a devastating disease. It affects so much of our body and it's silent for a long time until it strikes. For me, it's so nice to have this NSV this morning that shows me that what I am doing isn't always about just the scale moving. But what happens along that journey to the ultimate goal.

Don't look back next year on this day and think, "IF only I would have started my healthy lifestyle a year ago, where would I be today?" Take it from me. What a difference one year can make. Do it today!

Do you have any NSV's today you are happy about? I'd love to hear them if you do. Mine are too long to list, but the blood sugar is my tops of the day! Have a great day everyone!
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Thank you, again, Michael! You can email Michael at mfunaro28@gmail.com

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean