Monday, May 23, 2016

May 23rd, 2016 Along This Road

May 23rd, 2016 Along This Road

Being able to rely on excerpts from the over 1500 archived postings on this blog, is a real benefit to me. Occasionally, quite often actually, I'll have a day where something I've written about applies perfectly--still, I'll spend time sorting out an updated version. Other times, the excerpt I find just nails it for me that day--and why write the same thing twice? The following excerpt from May 7th, 2015 fits very well tonight. I'll follow it up with some updated thoughts:

I've written about the "life stream" and the "fundamental elements stream" and how they must run parallel to one another and not cross.

 If we allow life and all of the energy it takes to maneuver, to negatively affect our ability to maintain consistency in the daily elements of our extraordinary care, then it always will. The frustration of inconsistency will be a common theme if the life stream is allowed to dip down into the fundamental elements stream on a regular basis.

 And if we get too carried away, making the fundamental elements all consuming, then we run the risk of it crossing up into our life stream. And that's when it isn't any fun and we dread what we're doing every day.

 I've had several challenges of late where I really had to remember the power of this "parallel streams" philosophy. I've discovered, when life demands more attention, we don't have to let go of the elements giving us our success, but we can scale back the amount of energy it uses to operate. We don't sacrifice the integrity of the elements, we just do what we can do. For me--on super busy days, I have three requirements: 1. Stay within my calorie budget  2. Hold my abstinence from sugar sacred 3. Send the accountability tweets and write this blog--even if it's just the tweets of the day.

 I shared with some support buddies that if I exercised tonight it would be a bonus. I made the bonus! I had a good workout. My calorie budget is solid, I abstained from sugar, I live-tweeted the accounts of my food and exercise and I've written this blog.

 I'll hit the pillow realizing that my "life stream" required a little more attention today, but it didn't cross over and become road blocks for my "fundamental elements stream."  This perspective helps me balance.
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Keeping the "Life Stream" and "Fundamental Elements Stream" from getting entangled isn't always easy.

The first thought in getting to a place where it's clearer, in my opinion, is recognizing that food doesn't fix things. Excess food doesn't help change things needing attention in our lives--or make things we wish wasn't a part of our lives, or story, go away. 

The best it ever was for me, was a distraction--a temporary escape into a world of great tastes, complete with illusions of comfort and peace. The binge episodes of my great escapes never once provided perspective, understanding, compassion or solutions for my issues. But it was my answer, every time. It was my go-to in times of stress, in times of high emotion--the low times and yes, even the good times. Because eventually, I allowed the excessive amounts of food to buffer everything, leaving me in a constant state of emotional vacancy and abundantly full, many times to the point of sickness. This constant avoidance of feelings, translated to a stunted emotional growth--and this lack of emotional maturity affected most everything in my life in a negative fashion.

The emotional growth I've experienced throughout the seven plus years of this transformation has been ten times, maybe more than what it was in the adult years leading up to its beginning. When I stopped stuffing my emotions down--suffocating them with excessive food, that's when I started feeling things in their purest form. And that's where the avenues of support become critically important--spiritually, through like minded people in support groups--and through our individual exploration via writing and expressing ourselves--maybe it's in a private diary, a journal--or even a blog like this. However it's done, it's important. Therapy--some sort of counseling, can be HUGE, too--it was for me.

And then, the more experience we amass in sorting out our emotions, the better equipped we become in handling things, come what may. And at that point, maintaining separation of these streams doesn't seem so impossible.

Did I reach a point where I retreated back to excessive food? Of course I did. If you're a regular reader, you're fully aware of my 164 pound relapse/regain. When I ran back the other way, it was after I threw down every tool I had collected along the way. The accountability and support measures--gone, tossed them aside. The writing out how I was feeling along the way? Yeah--didn't think I needed it anymore. I had convinced myself that I was solid as a rock and could easily do it on my own. I had it figured out, by golly. Oh dear--what a humbling 164 pounds of regain provided me...and I'm so grateful it did.

Upon starting my turnaround from regain, I added abstinence from refined sugar to my plan. Suddenly, the binge trigger bio-chemical reactions were no longer affecting the addiction center of my brain--and like an answer to a prayer, it made everything much clearer, more peaceful and relatively stable. This stable foundation continues to provide a platform for continued growth.

And I'm always evolving, growing, learning and living. I do not know it all. I cannot do this on my own. I'm holding the many hands of support every single mile along this road.

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:








































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, May 22, 2016

May 22nd, 2016 I Took It

May 22nd, 2016 I Took It

I rested a bunch today. Sleeping, eating well, sleeping some more and catching up on a few projects I'm working on, slowly but surely--made up this restful Sunday.

The integrity of my calorie budget was maintained, My abstinence from refined sugar was maintained and I met my daily water goal.

I needed a restful day. I took it.

I'll let the Tweets take it the rest of the way tonight. Back to bed!

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:






























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 3 comments:

Saturday, May 21, 2016

May 21st, 2016 Like Me

May 21st, 2016 Like Me

My location broadcast this morning was from a grocery store with a Starbucks. As soon as I arrived, I was gifted a small coffee with half & half. My coffee loving reputation preceded me. It was nice.

I met Shelby from Game On Salsa. She was there handing out samples of her made in Oklahoma product. She told me about the process her and her best friend since 1st grade went through to bring their brand of salsa to market. It's quite involved, actually. Seven trials in the test kitchens of Oklahoma State University finally found the right combination. After listening to this amazing story--and how the recipe was actually an old family recipe from several decades back, I knew I had to try it--except for one thought: If it contains refined sugar, I'm out. I picked up the jar and was delighted to find it was sugar free. Thank goodness! I tried it, loved it and bought a jar!

Today was a solid day all the way around. I slept well last night, even after staying up a little later to watch the documentary, Sugar Coated, on Netflix. It's a phenomenal documentary. I highly recommend watching it if you're at all curious about refined sugar and its effects.

I fully realize not everyone has an addictive reaction to sugar, like me. Maybe it doesn't light up your brain like a pinball machine, triggering binge behavior, like me, maybe you're someone who can handle moderation, unlike me. Still, it's a great documentary. It's not all about the addictive properties. It's mainly about the overall health issues affected by and created by consuming excessive amounts of refined sugar. I was impressed with the detail and presentation. After watching, I must say--it greatly enhanced my gratitude for continued abstinence, now 752 days strong.

I credit my abstinence from refined sugar for dramatically changing my metabolic profile. My metabolism now works better than I ever imagined possible. I also believe it's given me a much leaner weight loss than my initial 275 pound loss. I'm twenty-three pounds lighter than my previous goal weight of 230, but even at 230, the second time--it looked and felt leaner, to me.

I enjoyed a wonderful evening out with my oldest daughter. We shared a nice dinner and conversation at our favorite Mexican place a few blocks from my apartment. The two of us are so much alike in ways too numerous to list. We laugh, a lot, and the conversation is always easy and flowing. It was fantastic.

I dropped Amber off at her place and made my way to the gym for a good workout. The difference between the gym I frequent and the Y--I can go to the gym any time, 24/7. Late on a Saturday evening--it was the option. I love the Y, when I make it work in the schedule, but I also enjoy the schedule flexibility of the gym. Tonight, I had the entire gym to myself. It worked. 

I prepared some great food today. I posted a video to my Instagram account--and I plan to add a new one each day--they're always short--sixty seconds or less, and that's easy--I can commit to that.

The integrity of my maintenance calorie budget was maintained. I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my water goal by 40 ounces, I had a great workout, a good nap, some awesome support interactions and a great visit and meal with Amber. This was a nicely balanced Saturday!  

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:












































Thank you for watching and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 4 comments:

Friday, May 20, 2016

May 20th, 2016 Without Fail

May 20th, 2016 Without Fail

I'm so glad it's Friday night. I've rested and rested some more. In fact, I woke, just to grab an orange for my #lastfoodofday and post this blog. I've heard, "just stay in bed and post the blog late, tomorrow morning." I get it, sure--but I can't break my daily discipline. Call it anything you like--to me, it's a critically important part of my continued recovery. It gives me an opportunity to reflect on each day--acting as a bookend and among many other things, it brings me immense peace and joy.

I enjoy writing. I enjoy dissecting elements of this entire experience--laying it out and examining what worked, what's working, what didn't and what doesn't. I can think about these things all day long--but when I transfer those thoughts to this archived record, it somehow makes it stick, for me.

I'm not afraid to keep it short. If you've ever invested fifteen minutes reading one of these super long epic--million word (Tony Posnanski's recent word count estimate--I think his estimate was a touch high) blog posts of mine, then you likely spit your coffee in a fit of laughter just now. Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yeah--I'm not afraid to keep it short, that's why I do an occasional "tweets only" post.

I've resisted adding Instant Gram activity to my active social media profile. Between this blog, Facebook, MyFitnessPal and Twitter, I'm very active. But--I keep getting notifications of people following my nearly empty Instantaneous Gram account and with each one, I'm thinking--my goodness, maybe I should figure out a way to use that thingy. It's on my phone--it's right there at my fingertips...but how do I use it?

Okay--stop the presses--I've just been notified that it's called Instagram. Now I feel old.

Anyway--like I was saying, the challenge is how to use this Instagram account in a way that's different from this blog and different from Facebook and my Twitter. I think I have an idea. I'll be trying it out more often over the weekend and we'll see how it goes. I may link each Instagram post to my Twitter feed--not sure, but the option is there, just in case. It might be silly. It might be informative. And occasionally/rarely, it might be serious. It might be loads of fun. Oh--it will absolutely be fun, or I won't do it! 

So, follow along if you do the Instagram thingy! My name there--same as MyFitnessPal and Twitter:
SeanAAnderson

And if you don't do Instagram--again, you'll likely see the activity in the daily Live-Tweet stream featured right here, every day, without fail.

Today, I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget (including an unusual lunch--a snack that resembled a lunch more than a snack--and a dinner that qualifies as a big favorite of mine), I remained abstinent from refined sugar and I just barely made my water goal for the day--and that's okay, I made it--it counts. And I slept a bunch more. And I'm off to do some more of that, right now.

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:


































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 8 comments:

Thursday, May 19, 2016

May 19th, 2016 Unexpected Treat

May 19th, 2016 Unexpected Treat

I enjoyed an unexpected treat today when News-Talk WPG-Atlantic City called to invite me on Middays With Michelle Dawn Mooney. It was a wonderful experience. We had an extended thirty minute-plus live on-air visit about this blog, my book, relapse/regain and present day stuff. Thank you, Michelle! It was an honor, for sure!

It's Throwback Thursday on the DDWL!
photo RyansIphonepicofme.jpg
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Top: One of my heaviest "before" pictures. Middle: At a friend's wedding several years ago. Bottom: Last month at the Today Show. #TBT

Talking with Michelle today, really reminded me of how important this blog has been and continues to be for me. I found an excerpt in the archives that best describes how and why it's important to me.

From February 2014:
This blog started as a tool for me, for my benefit. I started it to keep me focused and true to myself with the added accountability factor of a publicly shared journal. This blog was a way for me to dissect, analyze and unravel the inner mysteries keeping me over 500 pounds for so many years. Very few people followed along, reading each post, before AOL ran a feature story on their home page. Then things started changing.

I started connecting with more and more people and I started realizing how this wasn't just helping me, it was helping others. Did I get caught up in the commotion of it all? Perhaps. But nothing brings me back home to the most raw, emotional place--like reading someone else's story of liberation.

I write this blog for me. It must be for me, first and foremost. If it wasn't, then I would have continued a song and dance during the darkest periods of regain. Instead, I retreated from what was best for me in many different ways. Some say it would have been helpful to read the "off the rails" version of things...And I get that, but again--where I was wasn't a place inspiring me to write anything helpful to me or anyone else, really. Coming back and sharing about where I've been and where I want to go, is as good as I can do.

Occasionally, I might write a piece as if I were in the middle of the fall--kind of a time traveling concept...might be fun and therapeutic for me.  But maybe not. I mean really, could be kind of scary. 

I also don't do this for money. Yes, I would very much enjoy doing what I do for a living and there isn't anything wrong with that at all. But to this point, the relatively small financial reward hasn't been a big component of what I do.

The last sentence of my Day 1 entry still holds true, "I believe it will help me stay on track and maybe along the way it will inspire someone else to stay on track."  Pretty simple.

That's what it's all about. I don't do what I do for attention, for love, to feel important or any other slightly bent off-center motivation. I do it for me, to help me and when what I do in helping myself affects someone else in a positive way, it's the most wonderful bonus of all.

I am loved. I am important. And those facts were true long before The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser or Transformation Road came along.

There's still plenty of road ahead. And I'm honored you're choosing to ride along. Thank you.

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:














































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 2 comments:

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

May 18th, 2016 The Morning Deal

May 18th, 2016 The Morning Deal

My "Morning Deal" is proving to be a wonderful addition to my early routine. It's fast and easy and I want to keep it that way. On the other hand, I realize it's much easier to do those two sets of ten push-ups opposed to when I first started this before coffee-daily thing over two months ago. The squats are always simple for me. The issue? I'm currently pondering how to maintain the progress--build upon it, without increasing the time commitment so early in the morning. I've pretty well decided to find a set of dumbbells in different weights--at least then I could increase the resistance without lengthening the routine. 

The water part of that deal is super fast--I pretty much down it in a couple seconds, while snapping the "fresh out of bed" selfie. By the way, I haven't heard a peep from the person who zeroed in on my vanity by saying I only shared the most flattering pictures of myself. I honestly don't care-and I don't take things like that personally-my response in posting the daily "straight from the pillow" pics was simply a humorous response to the criticism. Let's be honest--some of these pictures have been super rough! It's fun--and for whatever reason, it lifts my mood.

I suppose the whole #morningdeal adds to the strengthening of my daily foundation. This strengthening starts with meditation and prayer before anything else. Then I start the coffee--then I hit the water, push-ups and squats. As far as the strength exercises go-on days when I'm super rushed, I at least finish the water and push-ups, that's the minimum requirement before the coffee hits the bottom of the cup.

Today was challenging. I did get more sleep--but obviously not enough, because it was a challenge most of the day. I agree with those that contend the body keeps track--and not getting enough sleep has a cumulative effect.

I made it through today fairly well, considering everything. I stayed in good contact with support connections, maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, remained abstinent from refined sugar and met my water goal.

Now--more sleep.

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:


































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 3 comments:

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

May 17th, 2016 Support Instead Of The Fork

May 17th, 2016 Support Instead Of The Fork

Last night was involved. Just as I was dropping into bed, I checked the radar and realized, I had work to do. Severe weather season means weather coverage at any time-night or day. Even when the weather isn't considered severe--as broadcasters in a state known for tornadoes, it's important to be a voice of calm, especially when a storm looks and feels dangerous, but isn't. This coverage translated to roughly two hours sleep. Not good for me.

I made it through the day by remaining in contact with support and staying focused on getting what I needed--while keeping an eye toward getting something else I needed--a nap! I did eventually grab a one hour nap--still not enough, so I'm making it a priority to go to bed much much earlier tonight. No weather coverage tonight, thank goodness!

Tonight is a great night to republish some thoughts on consistency. The following excerpt is from the September 23rd, 2014 archived blog post:

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The topic of consistency has come up a few times of late. Consistency is key, for sure. This road isn't about perfection. Striving for perfection is the quickest detour to disappointment. Consistency is the goal along this road. If we can be consistent, we can accomplish amazing things. But how do we remain consistent?

In my opinion, it starts with narrowing our focus. Not once have I sat down with a calendar to try to figure out when I'll arrive at some predetermined number. I haven't even stated a particular goal weight, opting instead for a "healthy weight." Who knows what that will be? It doesn't matter how long it takes or when I'll get there because my focus is on today. My goal is to make it through this day with the integrity of my food plan intact and if it's an exercise day, that too. Today is the day. I'm not obsessing about how much time it will take. It will take however long it takes. If I focus on how long it will take to "arrive," I'm suggesting that my efforts will end at some point. And making my food and fitness a big priority in my life is something I do not plan on ending, ever. 

Keeping it simple is important in keeping us consistent. It's super easy to make this really difficult. You can quickly overwhelm yourself with a multitude of numbers, rules, self-imposed requirements and rock solid expectations. Keep it as simple as you need, to fit where you are. If you're planning on waking up tomorrow as a completely different person with completely different habits and behaviors--it could become very difficult, really fast.

I recommend setting a calorie budget or points budget, whatever you prefer, and making the limit you set, sacred. Sacrificing the integrity of this budget shouldn't be something taken lightly. Treat it with the highest importance level. Then, find an exercise of some sort that works for you and your body and do it. Worry less about content and more about maintaining the integrity of your budget and exercise schedule. As you progress and you become more comfortable, you can get fancy all you want!!

Allow your food to become a natural evolution of good choices. My choices today look very different than when I first started losing weight six years ago. I wouldn't categorize myself as a "clean eater," but I'm at least 80% clean and that's a big difference for me.  Had I tried eating like this on Day 1, September 15th, 2008, it likely wouldn't have gone very well.

And that brings me to the "joy factor." I believe we must enjoy what we're doing in order to maintain consistency. If we don't enjoy--and I mean truly enjoy what we're eating, how do we expect to keep doing it? I eat what I like and nothing I don't. This doesn't mean I'm not willing to try new things. It simply means if I don't like it, it will not be on my regular "foods I enjoy" list. 

Somewhere over the years, someone decided that losing weight had to be about eating things you choked down as a means to an end. And as soon as the weight loss goal was reached, you could go back to eating what you like. I say nonsense!! Why not eat what you like and enjoy from day 1? Then, if they're not the best for you, gradually and naturally improve your choices. But never sacrifice by eating things you can't stand!!

My first food question isn't "Will this help me lose weight?" My first question about any particular food is: "Do I enjoy eating this?" If the answer is yes, then the second question is, "Will this food help me lose weight as a regular part of my day to day selections?" If the answer to that question is "No," then like it or not, it goes. An automatic "no" for me is sugar. I enjoy eating deep fried egg rolls, fried anything, really, and plenty of other things that if consumed regularly, would have a negative effect on my efforts. The key is finding foods that give you a "yes" to both questions.

The same "joy factor" applies to exercise. Find what you enjoy! If all you can do is walk slowly for short distances, do that. But make it enjoyable. Listen to music, an audio book, or carry on a conversation with someone--whatever you got to do to make it fun and enjoyable. When you're ready to make it something more intense--again, make sure it's something you truly enjoy doing.

Narrow the focus to one day at a time, set your limits and maintain the integrity of your limits, enjoy what you're eating and love what you're choosing to do for exercise.

And a big one: Develop a support system that focuses on accountability. Don't remain all hush about your efforts--share it, tell your friends and family--make some declarations and ask for support from those you're confident will give it. Keep a MyFitnessPal food diary or something similar and make it accessible by the friends you accept.

And another big one: Write, write, write--how you're feeling, what you're doing, describe your challenges, write about what you plan on doing to overcome these challenges, and write about how determined you are to succeed once and for all. Get it out on paper, in your personal diary--or on a blog, on your facebook--somewhere, anywhere--just write for you and your own personal clarity. There is no right or wrong. It doesn't matter if you fancy yourself a good writer or not--that isn't the point. If the only person who understands what you're writing is you, mission accomplished.

Consistency brings results. If the results aren't to your liking, change the elements of your consistent efforts until you find the balance you desire.
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That was a fun little trip back to a year and a half ago. An additional thought:

Here's the thing-- If we give ourselves this simplified approach, it allows mental space to face the bigger issues of emotional and stress eating. I can't count the number of times in past weight loss attempts where I made the basics bigger than I could handle--and then, at the slightest bend emotionally or in my stress level, I'd release the plan completely. I was looking for some kind of magic emotional and stress pattern of stability. Instead, I eventually realized stress and emotions are a part of life--so instead of hoping and praying for a pattern of stability long enough for me to succeed--I realized how I needed to learn ways of changing my pattern of perspective.

This is where the benefits of accountability and support have the best chance of changing things. Reaching for support instead of the fork can give us life changing shifts in perspective.

I'm hitting the pillow softly, with gratitude, confidence and certainty. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar and I exceeded my daily water goal. And in the face of a challenging schedule over the last 24 hours, I increased my awareness--understanding how I might not make the best choices under these conditions--so I brought in additional support to help carry me through to a wonderful finish. This kind of day--in all its challenges, feels amazing once I'm on the pillow and giving thanks for having made it through. I'm grateful.  

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:


































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 10 comments:

Monday, May 16, 2016

May 16th, 2016 Every Day

May 16th, 2016 Every Day

Keeping a blog post short isn't always easy for me. Every day there's something I experience or something I'm reminded of--and these things, when they pertain to what this blog is all about, stimulate thoughts and ideas--and I'm a communicator, I want to share it right here, right now! But I often need to reel it in, be patient--be calm and get more rest!

Today had a rough start followed by an unexplained stomach ache midday that sent me home about an hour early. It was clearly something at lunch, I'm just not sure--everything was fresh. That's a wonderful benefit of eating the way I eat--it's much easier to key into direct food/body connections.

I felt much better by evening time--just in time for my Monday night support group conference call. I enjoyed a fantastic dinner--and had some fun with the tweets, too.

I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my daily water goal and I made time for a great workout.

The day was rough in some ways and quite solid/smooth in others. How's that for balance?

Today's Live-Tweet Stream:








































Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Posted by at 4 comments:
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