Day 148
Exercise Progress and Lyrical Interpretation
Today and this evening was very busy. Before we could get to the YMCA they were closed. But, the walking trail never closes, so Courtney and I did a very nice 5K walk instead. That's a total of three 5K's in three days for me. Me! You know, the guy that could barely walk a quarter mile 148 days ago without fear of collapsing. That's 9.3 miles walked on the trail plus 2 miles on the treadmill Saturday for a total of 11.3 miles in three days! And a racquetball workout to top it all off. That's taking it up a notch my friend! It's amazing how good it feels out there. I'm telling you, I'm proof positive of starting extremely small, doing only what you can, and it naturally gets easier and easier! I certainly don't mean to sound boastful, I'm just so proud and really happy about this progress. I'm emerging from a twenty-five year imprisonment inside morbid obesity, so it's hard to contain my enthusiasm for my new found freedom.
As I walked tonight I listened to a couple of songs that you wouldn't really consider “workout songs.” There are no rhythmic beats to Christopher Cross's “Sailing,” but that song has always been special to me. It stirs my emotions with it's lyrics of hope and freedom. I heard Christopher Cross once say that “Sailing,” was literally about sailing, but to me I interpret it metaphorically and apply it to my journey. “Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see, believe me. Sailing, takes me away to where I've always heard it could be, just a dream and the wind to carry me, soon I will be free.” That's powerful stuff! How inspiring! When I listen to REO Speedwagon's “Time For Me To Fly,” I'm singing right along, directing all those lyrics not to a person, but to obesity. “I've been around for you, been up and down for you, but I just can't get any relief. I've swallowed my pride for you, lived and lied for you, but you still make me feel like a thief. You got me stealing your love away 'cause you never give it, peeling the years away, and we can't re-live it, oh I make you laugh and you make me cry, I believe it's time for me to fly.” That's awesome. Music is a powerful influence and can often be an incredible source of strength. It certainly is for me.
After sharing the story yesterday about giving my blog address and phone number to a complete stranger whom I couldn't help but approach, I wanted to say something extremely important. I sincerely appreciate the number of people that tell me how inspiring my journey is to them, it makes me feel so good inside. And I never really anticipated that happening, I just wanted a way to keep myself on track, and this blog is doing that and so much more. But I know that it is and always will be up to the individual to really succeed. I can set an example, I can keep on doing what I'm doing, and I hope you continue to read and do what you do, but I'll never take one ounce of credit for anyone's success but my own. What started out as a way to motivate and inspire my family while losing weight and getting healthy once and for all, has blossomed into something I truly cherish. I don't know if that young man I met yesterday will decide to change his life now or not, but I'm here to tell him he can, he can do it, and I hope he does, but it wont be because I approached him, it'll be because he decided. You know that I'm a big believer in the power of a decision. And that's what it takes. A decision that is personally enforced regardless of everything and any excuse that tries to get in the way. When I wake up in the morning, I don't know what the day will bring. It may be an extremely stressful day with deadlines and various commitments that must be met. I may need to become a magician by the end of the day to magically make it all work, but there's two things I'm completely sure about. Number one: I will survive. Number two: There's not a circumstance I will allow to break my stride. It's been decided. I will be successful this time. I will continue to learn along the way. I will not allow excuses to impede my progress. The days of “why I can't do this” are over and done.
I learned of something very exciting today. Ponca City Medical Center is starting a fantastic new program called “Lose To Win.” The more I learn about the program, the more it completely fits the approach, philosophies, and truths that I've embraced so far on this journey. I look forward to learning more! I can't wait to share more details of this amazing program, and very soon I'll have the opportunity to promote it on the radio and participate on one of two Team Radio weight loss and fitness teams. I'll have more details in the coming days.
It's very late and the alarm is set to go off really early. Thank you for reading my blog. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Day 147 The Give And Take of Receiving Inspiration From Others
Day 147
The Give And Take of Receiving Inspiration From Others
Today was a great Sunday. I made a Wal-Mart trip, Courtney and I had a fantastic workout at the YMCA, I prepared a wonderful meal for Irene, Courtney, my sister in-law, my niece, and me! After our company left, Irene helped Courtney with homework, and I hit the walking trail for a quick 5K. When the temperature is nice, I love to get outside and exercise, and it's been unseasonably warm all weekend. Me saying “I love to get outside and exercise” seems very strange. My entire life I've avoided voluntary exercise, and now I “love” it? I always considered a Wal-Mart trip exercise enough, especially if I couldn't find a parking space close to the entrance. I remember ranking the parking spaces at Wal-Mart. I can tell you the best non-handicap space, followed by the rest of the top 10 spaces. Only someone as lazy as I was would waste the time to come up with that list! I'm sure my girls can remember me proudly proclaiming victory every time I'd get the best space. Now, after 147 days, I grab the first parking space I see, even if it's a block away from the doors. It isn't even remotely close to a challenge these days.
This morning I did something I haven't ever done before. I noticed a large man, a complete stranger, who really looked miserable. I made eye contact with him and then made a decision. I decided to give him my blog address and my phone number. It was a risky move, I didn't want to be too forward, and I certainly didn't want him to be offended by my action. But looking into his eyes for a brief second, I could see myself so clearly. We ended up talking for nearly twenty minutes and I learned a great deal about him. He asked me three times how much weight I had lost so far, as if he couldn't believe it. He shared with me that he was 28 years old and weighed 580 the last he checked. Remember in one of my early days, I mentioned about finding a scale that could weigh me at over 500? Remember me talking about the option of weighing at the Farmers Co-op scales? He's actually done that. I told him about the scales at the Payne County Health Department and he lit up. Turns out he has a sister in Stillwater, and he said he would weigh there the next time he visits. The more we talked, the more we could relate to each other. He shared his dream of being able to lose enough weight to wear a regular pair of jeans, I've been there. We talked about portion control and exercise too. It was wonderful to meet him. He promised me he would read the blog. We then shook hands and went about our day. I almost didn't approach him. I actually decided not to, then changed my mind at the last second. It's only natural to want to tell someone something that you're passionate about, and that's what this was. Now I don't know if he's read any of these pages or not, but I hope so, and even then, is he ready for the commitment? I sincerely hope so. Because there's a whole new life just waiting to be discovered and enjoyed. I'm not even half way across this journey, and I'm feeling better than I ever have in my entire life.
I heard from a reader today in Ontario, Canada. She's reading this blog from both ends. She reads the new entries daily, and some old ones along the way, and in not long she'll be completely caught up. She shared with me that she's suffered from lung problems her entire life, and she really must be extremely careful when it comes to exercise. But with caution, she's out there doing it whenever she can. She's also making good choices when it comes to food. Her message really helped me today. She's going to lose weight and she's going to dramatically improve her life, I just know it. And her words really made me think. As I walked tonight, I thought about how lucky I am to have an opportunity to turn things around. I thought about friends and family that have faced extreme life or death health issues, and I'm not talking about needing to lose weight, I'm talking about diseases and tragic accidents. And I thought about how, when faced with their circumstances, I'm sure they were willing to do whatever it would take to turn it around and survive. There are a lot of survivors out there who didn't have a choice, if they wanted to live they had to fight. So there's no way I can ever take for granted this blessing I've been given. For too many years I thought “I'll do it someday, no big deal,” so I have to give thanks that “someday” found me in relatively good health, and able to tackle this journey. To those that are traveling this road with serious health issues that challenge them every step of the way, you inspire me and give me strength.
Our dinner tonight was one of those that could get seriously out of hand without proper portion control. We had baked chicken mozzarella on a bed of spaghetti and tomato sauce. It was amazing and under 500 calories for a small portion, and that number includes a half piece of garlic toast! Losing weight doesn't have to be boring, and It doesn't have to leave you feeling deprived either. Thank you for taking the time to read these pages. I sincerely appreciate your support. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Give And Take of Receiving Inspiration From Others
Today was a great Sunday. I made a Wal-Mart trip, Courtney and I had a fantastic workout at the YMCA, I prepared a wonderful meal for Irene, Courtney, my sister in-law, my niece, and me! After our company left, Irene helped Courtney with homework, and I hit the walking trail for a quick 5K. When the temperature is nice, I love to get outside and exercise, and it's been unseasonably warm all weekend. Me saying “I love to get outside and exercise” seems very strange. My entire life I've avoided voluntary exercise, and now I “love” it? I always considered a Wal-Mart trip exercise enough, especially if I couldn't find a parking space close to the entrance. I remember ranking the parking spaces at Wal-Mart. I can tell you the best non-handicap space, followed by the rest of the top 10 spaces. Only someone as lazy as I was would waste the time to come up with that list! I'm sure my girls can remember me proudly proclaiming victory every time I'd get the best space. Now, after 147 days, I grab the first parking space I see, even if it's a block away from the doors. It isn't even remotely close to a challenge these days.
This morning I did something I haven't ever done before. I noticed a large man, a complete stranger, who really looked miserable. I made eye contact with him and then made a decision. I decided to give him my blog address and my phone number. It was a risky move, I didn't want to be too forward, and I certainly didn't want him to be offended by my action. But looking into his eyes for a brief second, I could see myself so clearly. We ended up talking for nearly twenty minutes and I learned a great deal about him. He asked me three times how much weight I had lost so far, as if he couldn't believe it. He shared with me that he was 28 years old and weighed 580 the last he checked. Remember in one of my early days, I mentioned about finding a scale that could weigh me at over 500? Remember me talking about the option of weighing at the Farmers Co-op scales? He's actually done that. I told him about the scales at the Payne County Health Department and he lit up. Turns out he has a sister in Stillwater, and he said he would weigh there the next time he visits. The more we talked, the more we could relate to each other. He shared his dream of being able to lose enough weight to wear a regular pair of jeans, I've been there. We talked about portion control and exercise too. It was wonderful to meet him. He promised me he would read the blog. We then shook hands and went about our day. I almost didn't approach him. I actually decided not to, then changed my mind at the last second. It's only natural to want to tell someone something that you're passionate about, and that's what this was. Now I don't know if he's read any of these pages or not, but I hope so, and even then, is he ready for the commitment? I sincerely hope so. Because there's a whole new life just waiting to be discovered and enjoyed. I'm not even half way across this journey, and I'm feeling better than I ever have in my entire life.
I heard from a reader today in Ontario, Canada. She's reading this blog from both ends. She reads the new entries daily, and some old ones along the way, and in not long she'll be completely caught up. She shared with me that she's suffered from lung problems her entire life, and she really must be extremely careful when it comes to exercise. But with caution, she's out there doing it whenever she can. She's also making good choices when it comes to food. Her message really helped me today. She's going to lose weight and she's going to dramatically improve her life, I just know it. And her words really made me think. As I walked tonight, I thought about how lucky I am to have an opportunity to turn things around. I thought about friends and family that have faced extreme life or death health issues, and I'm not talking about needing to lose weight, I'm talking about diseases and tragic accidents. And I thought about how, when faced with their circumstances, I'm sure they were willing to do whatever it would take to turn it around and survive. There are a lot of survivors out there who didn't have a choice, if they wanted to live they had to fight. So there's no way I can ever take for granted this blessing I've been given. For too many years I thought “I'll do it someday, no big deal,” so I have to give thanks that “someday” found me in relatively good health, and able to tackle this journey. To those that are traveling this road with serious health issues that challenge them every step of the way, you inspire me and give me strength.
Our dinner tonight was one of those that could get seriously out of hand without proper portion control. We had baked chicken mozzarella on a bed of spaghetti and tomato sauce. It was amazing and under 500 calories for a small portion, and that number includes a half piece of garlic toast! Losing weight doesn't have to be boring, and It doesn't have to leave you feeling deprived either. Thank you for taking the time to read these pages. I sincerely appreciate your support. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Day 146 The Right Motions and Emotions For The Long Run
Day 146
The Right Motions and Emotions For The Long Run
Every now and then I'll write a blog entry and then read it the next day. And sometimes I wonder if the message was delivered effectively. After re-reading yesterdays blog, and reading a message from a comedian friend who read the blog, I just wanted to clarify a couple of things. I wasn't talking about any of my personal comedian friends in Los Angeles. I was talking about being grounded in reality and having realistic perceptions of our talent, abilities, and in relation to weight loss, our appearance. I also wasn't trying to be negative at all. I'm a huge believer in going after your dreams. I encourage everyone to do that, but do it with the ability to honestly evaluate what is needed and what goes into achieving those dreams. There's rarely a case of a true “overnight sensation,” the majority of success stories have worked hard and developed over many years before they achieved their greatest success. I believe, and always will, that you can do anything you decide you can. Hard work, persistence, allowing yourself to really learn along the way, and knowing where you honestly stand at all times can overcome any lack of natural talent and ability. I was trying to draw a parallel to misconceptions most overweight people, including me, have about their own appearance. This blog isn't about stand-up or radio, but it is coming from me, and naturally I'm going to draw on personal experiences to communicate. The bottom line is this: I didn't like what I saw on the racquetball video! My mental image of me was about 100 pounds ahead of my rate of weight loss. But, even though I can't stand it, that video is uploading to You Tube as we speak, and I'll try to put it at the bottom of this page. I'm also going to work on uploading a bunch of new pictures over the next two nights. I can't have a weight loss blog without plenty of pictures!
Sherri shared a quote from her dad that was really good. “What you think of me is none of my business.” I've known many overweight people that couldn't care less what people think of them, and I've always admired that in them, one of my roommates in Los Angeles was and is a shining example. But if you've ever wondered why I haven't posted very many pictures or any videos before now, it's because I worry too much about what others think of me. I'm a very confident person in many areas of my life, but when it comes to my appearance, I've always been extremely insecure. My appearance insecurities have ruled my entire life, and as the weight comes off and these insecurities have less and less reason to exist, I hope to make some real personal psychological breakthroughs. I've heard many former overweight people talk about how they still see themselves as fat. Even though they look and feel completely different, they can't let go of the insecurities and self image they've always had. One of my goals is to shed that insecurity and re-invent my self-image along the way. Somebody once told me that no matter how much weight I lose, I'll always be a fat person inside. I refuse to believe that! I think that accepting that notion is a sure fire recipe for re-gaining the weight. I'm not just going through the motions here, I'm digging deep to get a handle on the personal realizations and knowledge I need to achieve and stay at my ideal weight for the rest of my life.
I just finished a 5K at the trail tonight. It certainly doesn't feel like February, I love it! With the 3.1 miles I've logged tonight and the 2 miles I logged on the treadmill at the YMCA this afternoon, I've officially set a personal one day distance record. I've walked 5.1 miles today. That's nearly twenty-one times what I could do on day 1. My workout endurance has increased over 2000% in 146 days. It just goes to prove, that if you're physically able to move any distance at all, and you consistently try everyday, then it will get much easier. I honestly thought I was going to drop dead if I pushed the walk past a quarter mile that first day, and wow, 5.1 miles...that makes me so happy.
A friend of Amber's left a bike in our backyard months ago and today I decided I would try to ride the thing. Two flat tires quickly killed that plan. I want to ride a bike outdoors again so bad! And maybe I'm not quite where I need to be to do that, but when I get to a certain point, I'm getting a bike I guarantee. I also want to swim. I love swimming, but I've allowed my weight to completely keep me out of any pool or body of water that's visible to anyone but me. Swimming is incredible exercise and could really be a huge difference maker every weigh day.
I enjoyed soup as a meal today. Why is that such a strange thing? Well, soup has always been something I enjoyed before a big meal at a nice restaurant. When asked “soup or salad,” I always go for the soup. And if it's a cream based soup, all the better. But after reading the nutrition labels of a variety of soups, I chose a very simple chicken noodle. It was extremely filling and very low calorie. I only used four saltines in the bowl, the old Sean would have used at least a half a sleeve. Even after the 48 calories worth of saltines, the soup was still under 200 calories. I've really enjoyed todays progress. I look forward to the future with an overflowing amount of enthusiasm. Thank you for reading my blog along the way. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
It took nearly four hours to upload even with a high speed connection! Very boring to watch if you ask me. It's much more fun to do it!
The Right Motions and Emotions For The Long Run
Every now and then I'll write a blog entry and then read it the next day. And sometimes I wonder if the message was delivered effectively. After re-reading yesterdays blog, and reading a message from a comedian friend who read the blog, I just wanted to clarify a couple of things. I wasn't talking about any of my personal comedian friends in Los Angeles. I was talking about being grounded in reality and having realistic perceptions of our talent, abilities, and in relation to weight loss, our appearance. I also wasn't trying to be negative at all. I'm a huge believer in going after your dreams. I encourage everyone to do that, but do it with the ability to honestly evaluate what is needed and what goes into achieving those dreams. There's rarely a case of a true “overnight sensation,” the majority of success stories have worked hard and developed over many years before they achieved their greatest success. I believe, and always will, that you can do anything you decide you can. Hard work, persistence, allowing yourself to really learn along the way, and knowing where you honestly stand at all times can overcome any lack of natural talent and ability. I was trying to draw a parallel to misconceptions most overweight people, including me, have about their own appearance. This blog isn't about stand-up or radio, but it is coming from me, and naturally I'm going to draw on personal experiences to communicate. The bottom line is this: I didn't like what I saw on the racquetball video! My mental image of me was about 100 pounds ahead of my rate of weight loss. But, even though I can't stand it, that video is uploading to You Tube as we speak, and I'll try to put it at the bottom of this page. I'm also going to work on uploading a bunch of new pictures over the next two nights. I can't have a weight loss blog without plenty of pictures!
Sherri shared a quote from her dad that was really good. “What you think of me is none of my business.” I've known many overweight people that couldn't care less what people think of them, and I've always admired that in them, one of my roommates in Los Angeles was and is a shining example. But if you've ever wondered why I haven't posted very many pictures or any videos before now, it's because I worry too much about what others think of me. I'm a very confident person in many areas of my life, but when it comes to my appearance, I've always been extremely insecure. My appearance insecurities have ruled my entire life, and as the weight comes off and these insecurities have less and less reason to exist, I hope to make some real personal psychological breakthroughs. I've heard many former overweight people talk about how they still see themselves as fat. Even though they look and feel completely different, they can't let go of the insecurities and self image they've always had. One of my goals is to shed that insecurity and re-invent my self-image along the way. Somebody once told me that no matter how much weight I lose, I'll always be a fat person inside. I refuse to believe that! I think that accepting that notion is a sure fire recipe for re-gaining the weight. I'm not just going through the motions here, I'm digging deep to get a handle on the personal realizations and knowledge I need to achieve and stay at my ideal weight for the rest of my life.
I just finished a 5K at the trail tonight. It certainly doesn't feel like February, I love it! With the 3.1 miles I've logged tonight and the 2 miles I logged on the treadmill at the YMCA this afternoon, I've officially set a personal one day distance record. I've walked 5.1 miles today. That's nearly twenty-one times what I could do on day 1. My workout endurance has increased over 2000% in 146 days. It just goes to prove, that if you're physically able to move any distance at all, and you consistently try everyday, then it will get much easier. I honestly thought I was going to drop dead if I pushed the walk past a quarter mile that first day, and wow, 5.1 miles...that makes me so happy.
A friend of Amber's left a bike in our backyard months ago and today I decided I would try to ride the thing. Two flat tires quickly killed that plan. I want to ride a bike outdoors again so bad! And maybe I'm not quite where I need to be to do that, but when I get to a certain point, I'm getting a bike I guarantee. I also want to swim. I love swimming, but I've allowed my weight to completely keep me out of any pool or body of water that's visible to anyone but me. Swimming is incredible exercise and could really be a huge difference maker every weigh day.
I enjoyed soup as a meal today. Why is that such a strange thing? Well, soup has always been something I enjoyed before a big meal at a nice restaurant. When asked “soup or salad,” I always go for the soup. And if it's a cream based soup, all the better. But after reading the nutrition labels of a variety of soups, I chose a very simple chicken noodle. It was extremely filling and very low calorie. I only used four saltines in the bowl, the old Sean would have used at least a half a sleeve. Even after the 48 calories worth of saltines, the soup was still under 200 calories. I've really enjoyed todays progress. I look forward to the future with an overflowing amount of enthusiasm. Thank you for reading my blog along the way. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
It took nearly four hours to upload even with a high speed connection! Very boring to watch if you ask me. It's much more fun to do it!
Day 145 Who's That Guy? Oh Wow, That's Me
Day 145
Who's That Guy? Oh Wow, That's Me
It's amazing how much the mental image of ourselves can differ from reality. I've always prided myself on having a firm grip on reality. And when we're talking about most things, I do. I've never carried unrealistic perceptions or false awareness and expectations of anything, except my own physical appearance. The ability to stay grounded in reality has helped me in many ways. Let me explain... During my brief time in L.A. I was surrounded by people with limited stage experience, very limited material, and a blind passion. Some had zero stage experience when they decided to pack up the car and move to Hollywood for fame and fortune because they knew they had what it takes. You'd see them lined up outside the clubs hoping to get someones attention long enough to convince anyone that they deserved five minutes on that stage. Several times I'd run into these people at smaller clubs and venues where they would actually talk their way on stage. After watching some of them perform, I was left wondering how they could ever imagine that they were remotely close to having even a fraction of what it takes to really have a chance. But you can't tell them the truth, oh you could, but they wouldn't listen. In their mind they're the next Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy. But when you see someone really good that has “it,” you can immediately spot their potential and talent. When you see someone that doesn't have “it,” chances are they think they do, and despite constant rejection, their false self-image will stay strong for years until one day they wake up and finally face reality. It's the same mental dynamic that keeps some of the same people auditioning for American Idol year after year. The only area of my life where I've fallen into a false perception of reality is my appearance. It's very common, most of us think we look much better than we actually do. Even when pictures and videos try to tell us otherwise. The pictures are like Simon telling us the truth, but we never accept that truth. I've looked at a thousand pictures of me and still I didn't realize how big I really appeared. Tonight I've had to face the reality of my appearance. Courtney shot digital video of me in the racquetball court this afternoon. Despite the 106 pound loss, I'm still very unhappy with what I see on that screen. I really thought I looked better than this, even at my heaviest! I'm OK with it, I'm coming to grips and I'm cool because I know where I'm headed on this journey. I'm getting there, I just didn't realize how far I had to go, wow...really, OK, let's keep working! On the video I'm not moving near as fast as I feel. I'll get this video posted before the weekend is over. I've tried to figure it out tonight, but it's beyond my computer skills. I'll seek expert advice from my daughters tomorrow and then you'll see it for yourself.
The workout was really nice. The progress I've made so far is extremely noticeable. I can move like never before, and it makes me really excited about losing the next 100 pounds. I can only imagine what weighing under 300 will feel like, I honestly don't remember, I was just a teenager then.
Staying focused and determined is becoming such a natural thing. When you have had as many false starts as me, you're always worried about derailment. But I'm not so much anymore. That doesn't mean my defenses are down, no way, but I'm in a comfortable place with everything involved in seeing this mission through to a permanent life change. It feels great to be where I am and realize that it only gets better from here. I know I say this often in these blog pages, but I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your support in reading everyday. You're helping me more than you may realize. Until tomorrow evening, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Who's That Guy? Oh Wow, That's Me
It's amazing how much the mental image of ourselves can differ from reality. I've always prided myself on having a firm grip on reality. And when we're talking about most things, I do. I've never carried unrealistic perceptions or false awareness and expectations of anything, except my own physical appearance. The ability to stay grounded in reality has helped me in many ways. Let me explain... During my brief time in L.A. I was surrounded by people with limited stage experience, very limited material, and a blind passion. Some had zero stage experience when they decided to pack up the car and move to Hollywood for fame and fortune because they knew they had what it takes. You'd see them lined up outside the clubs hoping to get someones attention long enough to convince anyone that they deserved five minutes on that stage. Several times I'd run into these people at smaller clubs and venues where they would actually talk their way on stage. After watching some of them perform, I was left wondering how they could ever imagine that they were remotely close to having even a fraction of what it takes to really have a chance. But you can't tell them the truth, oh you could, but they wouldn't listen. In their mind they're the next Jim Carrey or Eddie Murphy. But when you see someone really good that has “it,” you can immediately spot their potential and talent. When you see someone that doesn't have “it,” chances are they think they do, and despite constant rejection, their false self-image will stay strong for years until one day they wake up and finally face reality. It's the same mental dynamic that keeps some of the same people auditioning for American Idol year after year. The only area of my life where I've fallen into a false perception of reality is my appearance. It's very common, most of us think we look much better than we actually do. Even when pictures and videos try to tell us otherwise. The pictures are like Simon telling us the truth, but we never accept that truth. I've looked at a thousand pictures of me and still I didn't realize how big I really appeared. Tonight I've had to face the reality of my appearance. Courtney shot digital video of me in the racquetball court this afternoon. Despite the 106 pound loss, I'm still very unhappy with what I see on that screen. I really thought I looked better than this, even at my heaviest! I'm OK with it, I'm coming to grips and I'm cool because I know where I'm headed on this journey. I'm getting there, I just didn't realize how far I had to go, wow...really, OK, let's keep working! On the video I'm not moving near as fast as I feel. I'll get this video posted before the weekend is over. I've tried to figure it out tonight, but it's beyond my computer skills. I'll seek expert advice from my daughters tomorrow and then you'll see it for yourself.
The workout was really nice. The progress I've made so far is extremely noticeable. I can move like never before, and it makes me really excited about losing the next 100 pounds. I can only imagine what weighing under 300 will feel like, I honestly don't remember, I was just a teenager then.
Staying focused and determined is becoming such a natural thing. When you have had as many false starts as me, you're always worried about derailment. But I'm not so much anymore. That doesn't mean my defenses are down, no way, but I'm in a comfortable place with everything involved in seeing this mission through to a permanent life change. It feels great to be where I am and realize that it only gets better from here. I know I say this often in these blog pages, but I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your support in reading everyday. You're helping me more than you may realize. Until tomorrow evening, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Day 144 Fired Up! And "The Big and The Beautiful"
Day 144
Fired Up! And “The Big and The Beautiful”
Yesterdays big weigh-in has really got me all fired up! I'm always “on” this journey, but when I get fired up I start hitting on all cylinders. I've consumed more water today than probably any other day so far. I've decided I need to make an effort to consume a little more protein. I'm still all about the freedom that counting calories allows, and if I want to eat 1,500 calories worth of fried mushrooms and ice cream one of these days I will, but a little more protein couldn't hurt. In fact it could probably help out my metabolism. I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist or a registered dietitian, but like many people my size and larger, I've read just about everything over the years on the effects of certain foods on our system. I'm not going to go nuts with it, (get it, nuts are protein) but a little more protein occasionally might help my efforts. So tonight I prepared some baked chicken breast. I'm a little crazy when it comes to cooking chicken, I'd rather over cook it and be safe, than under cook it and get sick. I just sealed it in a roasting pan with aluminum foil, making sure there was no way the juices could escape, and it was amazing! Extremely tender and really juicy. I added some instant 80 calorie per serving mashed potatoes and some green beans, and just like that, dinner was served!
The workout tonight at the YMCA was incredible. I was flying solo tonight because Courtney had a geometry tutoring class to attend. So tomorrow evening will be the evening we digitally capture a racquetball court workout. I wish you could have seen me fly tonight. It was amazing. I'm so much lighter on my feet now. I can move from one side to the other in that court quickly and that keeps the ball moving fast. I'm looking forward to posting some raw footage this weekend. I'll make sure you know where to find it! After a twenty minute workout in the court I moved to the treadmill and turned it up to 3.4 mph. Thirty-five minutes and sixteen seconds later I had finished two miles and was feeling it real good. I can determine how good of a workout I've had by the way I feel when I get home. If when I get out of the car, I immediately feel like I've been beat, and I'm moving a little slower because of it, then yeah, I had a great workout. Forget about feeling it in the morning, I'm feeling it now!
While talking with my dad tonight, he mentioned the story I shared a while back about the radio station that hired me site unseen, and then after moving my family all the way to Ft. Smith, the offer was rescinded when I met the program director. He could clearly see that I didn't fit the Wranglers, boots, and country singer looking image like all of their other on-air personalities, so I was given a consolation part time job late at night on the weekends, instead of the full time salaried w/benefits position he offered over the phone. Talking about that painful run in with overweight discrimination reminded me of a sit-com idea a comedian buddy and I was working on so long ago. A rough draft script was registered with the WGA years ago, so I'm not too worried about sharing the idea here. Not that any Comedy Central executives read this blog, but if they ever do—Hey this is gold! Read on:
“The Big and The Beautiful” is a sit-com parody of a soap opera. Except this is no ordinary soap opera. All of the lead characters are played by real obese actors. Being overweight is celebrated in the world of “The Big and The Beautiful.” Being fat is where it's at in this universe and the slim and trim people are the ones that are different, looked down upon, and discriminated against. The setting is the corporate headquarters for Big and Beautiful Clothing. The lead characters are the founders and upper management of the operation. These people are plus size fashion designers who love and celebrate their obesity completely, almost as much as love triangles, corporate battles, making fun of slender people, and bread. The real kicker of this sit-com? Every episode would feature a guest star. But the guest star wouldn't be revealed until the end credits. Why? Because they would appear on the show wearing large amounts of prosthetics and a fat suit. The guest star, often a celebrity heart-throb with killer good looks, would become part of the Big and Beautiful world. And sure, some viewers would figure it out by hearing the guest stars voice, but it would still be interesting and a must see every week! By turning the real world inside out, this show would be funny while maintaining an overall message that discrimination is bad in all it's forms, even when it's directed at slim and trim people. What would 500 pound versions of Matthew McConaughey or Demi Moore look like?
OK, my pitch session is over. Day 144 was fantastic. A real solid performance in every way. I'm ten pounds away from hitting an all time personal weight loss record and by golly I wouldn't be surprised if I hit it next weigh day. I'm not saying “bet on it” like before, I'm just going to let my actions and performance do the talking. We'll find out together in less than two weeks. Thank you for reading this daily blog and if you're embarking on a similar journey, just remember---You can do this! It's one day at a time, it's being consistent, it's never letting go of your reasons to lose the weight, it's constantly fantasizing about your “motivating thoughts,” it's movement of any kind, start slow and steady, and soon you'll be well on your way to a life saving transformation, it really is all about good choices. That's why I end every single blog with, Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Fired Up! And “The Big and The Beautiful”
Yesterdays big weigh-in has really got me all fired up! I'm always “on” this journey, but when I get fired up I start hitting on all cylinders. I've consumed more water today than probably any other day so far. I've decided I need to make an effort to consume a little more protein. I'm still all about the freedom that counting calories allows, and if I want to eat 1,500 calories worth of fried mushrooms and ice cream one of these days I will, but a little more protein couldn't hurt. In fact it could probably help out my metabolism. I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist or a registered dietitian, but like many people my size and larger, I've read just about everything over the years on the effects of certain foods on our system. I'm not going to go nuts with it, (get it, nuts are protein) but a little more protein occasionally might help my efforts. So tonight I prepared some baked chicken breast. I'm a little crazy when it comes to cooking chicken, I'd rather over cook it and be safe, than under cook it and get sick. I just sealed it in a roasting pan with aluminum foil, making sure there was no way the juices could escape, and it was amazing! Extremely tender and really juicy. I added some instant 80 calorie per serving mashed potatoes and some green beans, and just like that, dinner was served!
The workout tonight at the YMCA was incredible. I was flying solo tonight because Courtney had a geometry tutoring class to attend. So tomorrow evening will be the evening we digitally capture a racquetball court workout. I wish you could have seen me fly tonight. It was amazing. I'm so much lighter on my feet now. I can move from one side to the other in that court quickly and that keeps the ball moving fast. I'm looking forward to posting some raw footage this weekend. I'll make sure you know where to find it! After a twenty minute workout in the court I moved to the treadmill and turned it up to 3.4 mph. Thirty-five minutes and sixteen seconds later I had finished two miles and was feeling it real good. I can determine how good of a workout I've had by the way I feel when I get home. If when I get out of the car, I immediately feel like I've been beat, and I'm moving a little slower because of it, then yeah, I had a great workout. Forget about feeling it in the morning, I'm feeling it now!
While talking with my dad tonight, he mentioned the story I shared a while back about the radio station that hired me site unseen, and then after moving my family all the way to Ft. Smith, the offer was rescinded when I met the program director. He could clearly see that I didn't fit the Wranglers, boots, and country singer looking image like all of their other on-air personalities, so I was given a consolation part time job late at night on the weekends, instead of the full time salaried w/benefits position he offered over the phone. Talking about that painful run in with overweight discrimination reminded me of a sit-com idea a comedian buddy and I was working on so long ago. A rough draft script was registered with the WGA years ago, so I'm not too worried about sharing the idea here. Not that any Comedy Central executives read this blog, but if they ever do—Hey this is gold! Read on:
“The Big and The Beautiful” is a sit-com parody of a soap opera. Except this is no ordinary soap opera. All of the lead characters are played by real obese actors. Being overweight is celebrated in the world of “The Big and The Beautiful.” Being fat is where it's at in this universe and the slim and trim people are the ones that are different, looked down upon, and discriminated against. The setting is the corporate headquarters for Big and Beautiful Clothing. The lead characters are the founders and upper management of the operation. These people are plus size fashion designers who love and celebrate their obesity completely, almost as much as love triangles, corporate battles, making fun of slender people, and bread. The real kicker of this sit-com? Every episode would feature a guest star. But the guest star wouldn't be revealed until the end credits. Why? Because they would appear on the show wearing large amounts of prosthetics and a fat suit. The guest star, often a celebrity heart-throb with killer good looks, would become part of the Big and Beautiful world. And sure, some viewers would figure it out by hearing the guest stars voice, but it would still be interesting and a must see every week! By turning the real world inside out, this show would be funny while maintaining an overall message that discrimination is bad in all it's forms, even when it's directed at slim and trim people. What would 500 pound versions of Matthew McConaughey or Demi Moore look like?
OK, my pitch session is over. Day 144 was fantastic. A real solid performance in every way. I'm ten pounds away from hitting an all time personal weight loss record and by golly I wouldn't be surprised if I hit it next weigh day. I'm not saying “bet on it” like before, I'm just going to let my actions and performance do the talking. We'll find out together in less than two weeks. Thank you for reading this daily blog and if you're embarking on a similar journey, just remember---You can do this! It's one day at a time, it's being consistent, it's never letting go of your reasons to lose the weight, it's constantly fantasizing about your “motivating thoughts,” it's movement of any kind, start slow and steady, and soon you'll be well on your way to a life saving transformation, it really is all about good choices. That's why I end every single blog with, Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 143 A Double Milestone Weigh Day
Day 143
A Double Milestone Weigh Day
Today just barely made it into the double milestone category! Whew! What a relief. If I had lost one less pound it would have been frustrating. After 143 days on this journey, todays official weigh-in at the Payne County Health Department found me at 399 pounds. A total loss of 106 pounds so far. Losing 7 pounds in the last two weeks was a little less than I wanted, but hey, I always want a little more. I have to look at the big picture here. 106 pounds in 143 days is awesome from any angle. Two big accomplishments are officially behind me, I've crossed the 100 pound mark and I'm in the 300's. No complaints here. I'm grateful and proud, and looking forward to hitting the next big milestone just up the road: 116 lost, a personal weight loss record. Remember two weigh days ago when I needed to lose 10 pounds in two weeks to hit the 100 pound mark? I'm in a similar situation again. If I can really put myself in a fierce workout mode and somehow pull off a ten pound loss over the next two weeks, then I'll reach that milestone on February 18th. It feels good to only have 94 pounds to go on my second hundred! Can I lose 10 pounds in the next two weeks? Yes. I know that sounds exactly like four weeks ago when I proclaimed “bet on it,” then came up 1 pound short. But what am I going to say? I can't? “Can't” is a real dirty word! You know I can, my family knows I can, and I know I can. So let's get it done!
My goal over the next several days is to develop a page of “Before” and “In Progress” pictures and a You Tube account where I can post videos along the way. My goal is to have that done before the weekend is over. This blog is about a transformation, and what fun is a transformation without pictures and videos? You know I've talked about how much I can't stand pictures, but I'm starting to come around as the weight comes off. And the videos? I think it would be a blast to take you inside the racquetball court with me for a fast and furious battle against the wall! My daughters will have to show me how to get that done.
One thing that I have to constantly remind myself to have is patience. I hope I don't come off as a big ungrateful baby when I say things on weigh day like “it wasn't what I wanted, but I'll take it.” “Oh, it was a little less than what I thought it would be,” Like I said above, I always want more. But at the same time I realize that what I'm doing is providing a consistent weight loss pattern that anyone would be proud of. So I need to get over it. If I want the scale to give me more results, I've got to take it out of my behind in the fitness center. I'm not going to decrease my calories. I think the calorie limit of 1,500 is just right. So the only way to increase the number lost come weigh day is to work harder. But oh my patience, my patience is sometimes like a six year old. I want it now! Are we there yet? I don't want to take forever to get to where I'm headed! But, I do want to get there, and a steady pace will do it. Patience. Breathe. Patience is lost when I set my expectation level too high and my results fall short. I still want to have high expectations, I'd be crazy not too, but I can't lose my patience with this process. Patience is something I'm learning along this road. I honestly didn't realize what an impatient person I was. Lack of patience has played a key part in me staying so big for so long. How? Because I always thought “this is going to take forever to lose.” So I would start out focusing on the total I needed to lose, and to me that would be just enough negative to keep me from doing something about it. But consistent effort and steady progress coupled with patience wins this battle every time. And I know that now.
Did you notice something different from the last time I crossed the 100 pounds lost mark back in 2004? No big celebratory feast. I stuck to my calorie limit like any other day. I'm still celebrating, I just don't have to do it with three or four thousand calories anymore. When I reach my ultimate goal we'll have a party, and everything at that party will have calorie counts clearly posted! And afterwards we'll have a 5K fun run/walk in celebration! Sounds good huh? Can't wait! I mean, uh, I can be patient and confident knowing that it will come and it will be grand my friend. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
A Double Milestone Weigh Day
Today just barely made it into the double milestone category! Whew! What a relief. If I had lost one less pound it would have been frustrating. After 143 days on this journey, todays official weigh-in at the Payne County Health Department found me at 399 pounds. A total loss of 106 pounds so far. Losing 7 pounds in the last two weeks was a little less than I wanted, but hey, I always want a little more. I have to look at the big picture here. 106 pounds in 143 days is awesome from any angle. Two big accomplishments are officially behind me, I've crossed the 100 pound mark and I'm in the 300's. No complaints here. I'm grateful and proud, and looking forward to hitting the next big milestone just up the road: 116 lost, a personal weight loss record. Remember two weigh days ago when I needed to lose 10 pounds in two weeks to hit the 100 pound mark? I'm in a similar situation again. If I can really put myself in a fierce workout mode and somehow pull off a ten pound loss over the next two weeks, then I'll reach that milestone on February 18th. It feels good to only have 94 pounds to go on my second hundred! Can I lose 10 pounds in the next two weeks? Yes. I know that sounds exactly like four weeks ago when I proclaimed “bet on it,” then came up 1 pound short. But what am I going to say? I can't? “Can't” is a real dirty word! You know I can, my family knows I can, and I know I can. So let's get it done!
My goal over the next several days is to develop a page of “Before” and “In Progress” pictures and a You Tube account where I can post videos along the way. My goal is to have that done before the weekend is over. This blog is about a transformation, and what fun is a transformation without pictures and videos? You know I've talked about how much I can't stand pictures, but I'm starting to come around as the weight comes off. And the videos? I think it would be a blast to take you inside the racquetball court with me for a fast and furious battle against the wall! My daughters will have to show me how to get that done.
One thing that I have to constantly remind myself to have is patience. I hope I don't come off as a big ungrateful baby when I say things on weigh day like “it wasn't what I wanted, but I'll take it.” “Oh, it was a little less than what I thought it would be,” Like I said above, I always want more. But at the same time I realize that what I'm doing is providing a consistent weight loss pattern that anyone would be proud of. So I need to get over it. If I want the scale to give me more results, I've got to take it out of my behind in the fitness center. I'm not going to decrease my calories. I think the calorie limit of 1,500 is just right. So the only way to increase the number lost come weigh day is to work harder. But oh my patience, my patience is sometimes like a six year old. I want it now! Are we there yet? I don't want to take forever to get to where I'm headed! But, I do want to get there, and a steady pace will do it. Patience. Breathe. Patience is lost when I set my expectation level too high and my results fall short. I still want to have high expectations, I'd be crazy not too, but I can't lose my patience with this process. Patience is something I'm learning along this road. I honestly didn't realize what an impatient person I was. Lack of patience has played a key part in me staying so big for so long. How? Because I always thought “this is going to take forever to lose.” So I would start out focusing on the total I needed to lose, and to me that would be just enough negative to keep me from doing something about it. But consistent effort and steady progress coupled with patience wins this battle every time. And I know that now.
Did you notice something different from the last time I crossed the 100 pounds lost mark back in 2004? No big celebratory feast. I stuck to my calorie limit like any other day. I'm still celebrating, I just don't have to do it with three or four thousand calories anymore. When I reach my ultimate goal we'll have a party, and everything at that party will have calorie counts clearly posted! And afterwards we'll have a 5K fun run/walk in celebration! Sounds good huh? Can't wait! I mean, uh, I can be patient and confident knowing that it will come and it will be grand my friend. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Day 142 The Big Jacket Retires plus Family, Food, and A Great Workout
Day 142
The Big Jacket Retires plus Family, Food, and A Great Workout
Today was one of those long days where you know there's no way to sneak a nap. But the great thing about days like this, they're usually filled with friends and family. Today was Aunt Violet's funeral. It was a sad occasion, but one filled with many family members I haven't laid eyes on in forever. We all got together to say goodbye to our dear aunt and catch up with each other. Several people noticed the weight loss and that felt great. After getting dressed for the funeral, I realized that my jacket no longer fits even a little bit. I'm a really casual guy, and since I hardly ever feel the need to wear a jacket, I only have one and it's really big. It was custom made for me when I weighed over 500 pounds. But now at under 400 (I'm anticipating my results tomorrow) it fits like a king size sheet on a full size bed. I decided to wear it anyway and at the reception I pulled it around me to demonstrate the big difference. It's a dramatic difference. I think it's time to retire that jacket. I would say give it away, but it has too much sentimental value to me. It's been with me for six years and countless comedy performances, remote broadcast, and unfortunately a few funerals. When I wanted to look semi-dressed up, I just put on the jacket, and walla! Like magic I was ready. But today when I put on the jacket I looked like the lead singer of the Talking Heads in the “Burning Down The House” video from the early 80's. It feels really good to reach a point where I have to buy new clothes. Soon other garments will have no choice, they'll have to go too.
A few family members fixed an amazing Italian dinner for everyone. Two giant trays of lasagna and a couple of pots of spaghetti with meat sauce plus bread, salad, green beans and someone brought pizzas. I couldn't help but notice the absence of fried chicken. It may have been the first family occasion without a bucket or sack of fried chicken. It was a fantastic change of pace! The desert table was loaded up with all kinds of cookies and cakes too. It would have been really easy to over do it, but I stayed focused and made it through exactly how I planned. I made a small plate with one piece of lasagna, some green beans, and a couple of spoon fulls of spaghetti. My best educated guess came in at 450 calories total. I passed on the bread and deserts. My Aunt Margaret (who prepared the wonderful lasagna) immediately noticed the small portions of food and commented “That's not very much food.” I told her I was counting calories, and she told me I was looking great. It was a nice portion, really it was. It was a normal portion. Now if we would have had a dinner like this 143 days ago, I probably would have loaded the plate to capacity and returned for more. But I knew exactly what to do. I enjoyed the meal at a slow pace, then I excused myself from the table and starting visiting with people. I took the focus off the food and put it squarely on catching up with family. It worked like a charm. I long for family get-togethers like this, I would just like them without having a funeral first. When I was a kid everybody got together for big dinners all the time. And if we didn't, we had a reunion. Maybe my generation in the family should start organizing something like that again. The older generation spent many years doing it, it's our turn! I'd love to help! Our dear Aunt Violet spent a lot of time and energy helping organize those family reunions and get-togethers. Some of my fondest childhood memories involved the food, music, and great conversation those family events held. I want to hear Uncle Bob sing some of his original stuff again. It's been too long since I heard “Five Foot Three.”
Tomorrow brings a milestone weigh day. I'll officially pass the 100 pounds lost mark and I'll be in the 390's! So maybe it wasn't that bad to only lose 9 pounds last time. It was tough hitting 99, when I just knew I would hit 100 pounds lost, but it has certainly set up tomorrow's weigh day to be something really special.
When we arrived back home tonight, we were all tired, but a good workout was a must! So we headed to the Y and got it done real good! My endurance and stamina is improving dramatically. It wasn't that long ago that 2.9 mph was really tough, now if it isn't 3.4 to 3.6, then I can't get what I need on the treadmill. The great thing about that is, it shortens my mile time by nearly three minutes. And my 5K time by nearly nine minutes. This from a guy who could barely walk a couple of blocks in the beginning! It's a gradual ascent, it doesn't happen overnight, it takes starting small and doing it over and over and naturally the workouts get longer and easier. That first night of walking 142 nights ago, I really thought I was going to drop over with a heart attack. At less than a quarter mile my chest was pounding, I was sweating profusely, and I could barely breath. And I was taking it as easy as I could! Any easier and I wouldn't have got out of the car. I've come a long way in 142 days. I'm proud of my success, I'm proud of my family's success too, and I'm proud of this daily blog. There's still a ways to go and I sincerely thank you for reading along the way. If you would like to be included in the mass text weigh day update, just drop me an e-mail to seanboy105@hotmail.com with your cell number. I'd be thrilled to add you to the list! If not, you can be sure to find the weigh day results right here in tomorrows edition. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Big Jacket Retires plus Family, Food, and A Great Workout
Today was one of those long days where you know there's no way to sneak a nap. But the great thing about days like this, they're usually filled with friends and family. Today was Aunt Violet's funeral. It was a sad occasion, but one filled with many family members I haven't laid eyes on in forever. We all got together to say goodbye to our dear aunt and catch up with each other. Several people noticed the weight loss and that felt great. After getting dressed for the funeral, I realized that my jacket no longer fits even a little bit. I'm a really casual guy, and since I hardly ever feel the need to wear a jacket, I only have one and it's really big. It was custom made for me when I weighed over 500 pounds. But now at under 400 (I'm anticipating my results tomorrow) it fits like a king size sheet on a full size bed. I decided to wear it anyway and at the reception I pulled it around me to demonstrate the big difference. It's a dramatic difference. I think it's time to retire that jacket. I would say give it away, but it has too much sentimental value to me. It's been with me for six years and countless comedy performances, remote broadcast, and unfortunately a few funerals. When I wanted to look semi-dressed up, I just put on the jacket, and walla! Like magic I was ready. But today when I put on the jacket I looked like the lead singer of the Talking Heads in the “Burning Down The House” video from the early 80's. It feels really good to reach a point where I have to buy new clothes. Soon other garments will have no choice, they'll have to go too.
A few family members fixed an amazing Italian dinner for everyone. Two giant trays of lasagna and a couple of pots of spaghetti with meat sauce plus bread, salad, green beans and someone brought pizzas. I couldn't help but notice the absence of fried chicken. It may have been the first family occasion without a bucket or sack of fried chicken. It was a fantastic change of pace! The desert table was loaded up with all kinds of cookies and cakes too. It would have been really easy to over do it, but I stayed focused and made it through exactly how I planned. I made a small plate with one piece of lasagna, some green beans, and a couple of spoon fulls of spaghetti. My best educated guess came in at 450 calories total. I passed on the bread and deserts. My Aunt Margaret (who prepared the wonderful lasagna) immediately noticed the small portions of food and commented “That's not very much food.” I told her I was counting calories, and she told me I was looking great. It was a nice portion, really it was. It was a normal portion. Now if we would have had a dinner like this 143 days ago, I probably would have loaded the plate to capacity and returned for more. But I knew exactly what to do. I enjoyed the meal at a slow pace, then I excused myself from the table and starting visiting with people. I took the focus off the food and put it squarely on catching up with family. It worked like a charm. I long for family get-togethers like this, I would just like them without having a funeral first. When I was a kid everybody got together for big dinners all the time. And if we didn't, we had a reunion. Maybe my generation in the family should start organizing something like that again. The older generation spent many years doing it, it's our turn! I'd love to help! Our dear Aunt Violet spent a lot of time and energy helping organize those family reunions and get-togethers. Some of my fondest childhood memories involved the food, music, and great conversation those family events held. I want to hear Uncle Bob sing some of his original stuff again. It's been too long since I heard “Five Foot Three.”
Tomorrow brings a milestone weigh day. I'll officially pass the 100 pounds lost mark and I'll be in the 390's! So maybe it wasn't that bad to only lose 9 pounds last time. It was tough hitting 99, when I just knew I would hit 100 pounds lost, but it has certainly set up tomorrow's weigh day to be something really special.
When we arrived back home tonight, we were all tired, but a good workout was a must! So we headed to the Y and got it done real good! My endurance and stamina is improving dramatically. It wasn't that long ago that 2.9 mph was really tough, now if it isn't 3.4 to 3.6, then I can't get what I need on the treadmill. The great thing about that is, it shortens my mile time by nearly three minutes. And my 5K time by nearly nine minutes. This from a guy who could barely walk a couple of blocks in the beginning! It's a gradual ascent, it doesn't happen overnight, it takes starting small and doing it over and over and naturally the workouts get longer and easier. That first night of walking 142 nights ago, I really thought I was going to drop over with a heart attack. At less than a quarter mile my chest was pounding, I was sweating profusely, and I could barely breath. And I was taking it as easy as I could! Any easier and I wouldn't have got out of the car. I've come a long way in 142 days. I'm proud of my success, I'm proud of my family's success too, and I'm proud of this daily blog. There's still a ways to go and I sincerely thank you for reading along the way. If you would like to be included in the mass text weigh day update, just drop me an e-mail to seanboy105@hotmail.com with your cell number. I'd be thrilled to add you to the list! If not, you can be sure to find the weigh day results right here in tomorrows edition. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 141 The Art of Not Shooting Yourself In The Foot and Structural Integrity of Chairs 101
Day 141
The Art of Not Shooting Yourself In The Foot and Structural Integrity of Chairs 101
One of the key elements of this journey is doing things right in other areas of life. What I mean is, NOT doing things that make you feel bad will keep you in a positive frame of mind. Negative actions cause negative feelings and negative feelings make staying focused and on track much more difficult. The great thing about this? Getting things straight in other areas of life is a side effect of excelling on this weight loss transformation. The more I feel better about myself, the more I want to do better in everything else I do. It's basic psychology I'm pretty sure. Even with this wonderful little side effect, even the most in control person can do things that ultimately, without us even realizing it, can sabotage our success. Identifying these negative actions and zeroing in on correcting these little and sometimes big negatives can stop the self-destruct mechanism before it even has a chance. Staying positive isn't just an attitude, it's a critical combination of attitude and actions. When the actions and attitude stay in the positive category, then positive success happens. If one is out of balance, then it can throw the whole thing completely off course. It's like a sharpshooter who hits every target he aims for, shooting himself in the foot. I have to make sure I don't shoot myself in the foot with negative actions and attitudes. Some might say “well, nobody's perfect!” Very true, but when “nobody's perfect” becomes an excuse and a way to rationalize bad choices and behaviors, then it becomes a problem. I'm not saying I have to be perfect, I'm far from it, but avoiding negative actions can really reinforce the positive momentum of this journey.
Where did that paragraph come from? Well, let's just say that a negative action today left me feeling depressed and lazy. It had nothing to do with my food intake or exercise output, but the effects of that action on my performance today were apparent. Instead of getting a good workout today, I napped. Even knowing that I'm less than 48 hours from my biggest weigh day so far, I still couldn't convince myself to lace up the shoes and get in there. So what now? Well, I've analyzed the behavior, I've discussed the effects of such behavior, and I've learned something about myself in the process. I can continue on this successful journey now...thank goodness.
Being able to separate yourself and really analyze your habits and behaviors effectively requires complete honesty within yourself. The excuses and little things we tell ourselves in order to make us feel better are completely destroyed in this process. “Nobody's perfect” can't be a permission slip for stupidity. It comes down to owning your decisions 100%, accepting the consequences of those decisions, dealing with the bad consequences and enjoying everything great in the good. It's true, nobody is perfect, but when the imperfection comes as a result of our own reckless behaviors and bad choices, then we have to look in the mirror to find the person responsible, and that's the only person that can make the positive changes to fix it.
Today I sat in a chair at work and heard a very familiar sound, but one I hadn't heard in some time. The chair made a noise like something broke. But as I braced myself for the fall, it didn't happen. I can't count the number of chairs that have fallen victim to my hugeness. Now that I think about it, I wish I would've kept all of the broken chairs in a pile somewhere for a nice “after” photo op. Surveying chairs and seating arrangements is an everyday thing for extremely overweight people. Upon entering a room, a fat person immediately calculates the sturdiness of every chair, taking into account the materials used for construction and the design. “Is that steel tubing? Looks good, but I better make sure it's not aluminum.” “Wow, cast iron, now we're talking, someone could sit in my lap and it wouldn't fail.” “Wait just a second, the seat is made out of wicker and the support relies on the bend of aluminum tubes without hind legs, I better pass.” “Ooh, white plastic patio chair, not good, no way.” “Uhg...folding outdoor chair with woven nylon strips and cheap aluminum construction, that's a $10,000 video waiting to happen.” “Uh oh, Formica lined 'row-a-booths,' definitely sturdy enough, but squeezing in one can cause internal injuries plus require the Jaws Of Life to get out, so uh, I'll just stand.” You get really good at it after a while. I use to be able to look at any chair and instantly tell you whether or not I would fit between the armrest and if the construction and sturdiness would support me. These days I'm starting to fit in more and more chairs that were once impossible and that feels really good. The chair today didn't break, but it wanted too! When I describe the positive feelings of this journey I often use the word “freedom.” And the freedom from worrying about the structural integrity of chairs and the seating arrangements in public places is something I look forward to enjoying. Just ask my family how many times we've walked into a restaurant and then turned around and walked out because I knew I wouldn't fit comfortably in the chairs or booths. Irene loves to sit in booths, but for our entire twenty years of marriage she's settled for “a table please,” because I couldn't fit in most booths. I'm starting to fit nicely in these places now and that's something great. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Art of Not Shooting Yourself In The Foot and Structural Integrity of Chairs 101
One of the key elements of this journey is doing things right in other areas of life. What I mean is, NOT doing things that make you feel bad will keep you in a positive frame of mind. Negative actions cause negative feelings and negative feelings make staying focused and on track much more difficult. The great thing about this? Getting things straight in other areas of life is a side effect of excelling on this weight loss transformation. The more I feel better about myself, the more I want to do better in everything else I do. It's basic psychology I'm pretty sure. Even with this wonderful little side effect, even the most in control person can do things that ultimately, without us even realizing it, can sabotage our success. Identifying these negative actions and zeroing in on correcting these little and sometimes big negatives can stop the self-destruct mechanism before it even has a chance. Staying positive isn't just an attitude, it's a critical combination of attitude and actions. When the actions and attitude stay in the positive category, then positive success happens. If one is out of balance, then it can throw the whole thing completely off course. It's like a sharpshooter who hits every target he aims for, shooting himself in the foot. I have to make sure I don't shoot myself in the foot with negative actions and attitudes. Some might say “well, nobody's perfect!” Very true, but when “nobody's perfect” becomes an excuse and a way to rationalize bad choices and behaviors, then it becomes a problem. I'm not saying I have to be perfect, I'm far from it, but avoiding negative actions can really reinforce the positive momentum of this journey.
Where did that paragraph come from? Well, let's just say that a negative action today left me feeling depressed and lazy. It had nothing to do with my food intake or exercise output, but the effects of that action on my performance today were apparent. Instead of getting a good workout today, I napped. Even knowing that I'm less than 48 hours from my biggest weigh day so far, I still couldn't convince myself to lace up the shoes and get in there. So what now? Well, I've analyzed the behavior, I've discussed the effects of such behavior, and I've learned something about myself in the process. I can continue on this successful journey now...thank goodness.
Being able to separate yourself and really analyze your habits and behaviors effectively requires complete honesty within yourself. The excuses and little things we tell ourselves in order to make us feel better are completely destroyed in this process. “Nobody's perfect” can't be a permission slip for stupidity. It comes down to owning your decisions 100%, accepting the consequences of those decisions, dealing with the bad consequences and enjoying everything great in the good. It's true, nobody is perfect, but when the imperfection comes as a result of our own reckless behaviors and bad choices, then we have to look in the mirror to find the person responsible, and that's the only person that can make the positive changes to fix it.
Today I sat in a chair at work and heard a very familiar sound, but one I hadn't heard in some time. The chair made a noise like something broke. But as I braced myself for the fall, it didn't happen. I can't count the number of chairs that have fallen victim to my hugeness. Now that I think about it, I wish I would've kept all of the broken chairs in a pile somewhere for a nice “after” photo op. Surveying chairs and seating arrangements is an everyday thing for extremely overweight people. Upon entering a room, a fat person immediately calculates the sturdiness of every chair, taking into account the materials used for construction and the design. “Is that steel tubing? Looks good, but I better make sure it's not aluminum.” “Wow, cast iron, now we're talking, someone could sit in my lap and it wouldn't fail.” “Wait just a second, the seat is made out of wicker and the support relies on the bend of aluminum tubes without hind legs, I better pass.” “Ooh, white plastic patio chair, not good, no way.” “Uhg...folding outdoor chair with woven nylon strips and cheap aluminum construction, that's a $10,000 video waiting to happen.” “Uh oh, Formica lined 'row-a-booths,' definitely sturdy enough, but squeezing in one can cause internal injuries plus require the Jaws Of Life to get out, so uh, I'll just stand.” You get really good at it after a while. I use to be able to look at any chair and instantly tell you whether or not I would fit between the armrest and if the construction and sturdiness would support me. These days I'm starting to fit in more and more chairs that were once impossible and that feels really good. The chair today didn't break, but it wanted too! When I describe the positive feelings of this journey I often use the word “freedom.” And the freedom from worrying about the structural integrity of chairs and the seating arrangements in public places is something I look forward to enjoying. Just ask my family how many times we've walked into a restaurant and then turned around and walked out because I knew I wouldn't fit comfortably in the chairs or booths. Irene loves to sit in booths, but for our entire twenty years of marriage she's settled for “a table please,” because I couldn't fit in most booths. I'm starting to fit nicely in these places now and that's something great. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Day 140 A Super Sunday and Living Up To Potential
Day 140
A Super Sunday and Living Up To Potential
After a shaky Saturday, it felt good to have a super Sunday. We had a wonderful workout at the YMCA today. I feel really good when I get in there and really work. We're only three days away from a monumental weigh day. It's going to be a big one. I'll have officially passed the 100 pound mark, plus I should be in the 390's. That's going to be a great weigh day!
Why is it so important for me to go all the way on this journey without fail? One word: Potential. That word has haunted me my entire life. I've always had “potential.” We all do, but aside from being a good dad, I've always fell short of mine. It started in grade school when the teacher would tell my mom that if I would apply myself, I had the potential to be a straight A student. In junior high, the assistant principle called me in his office and discussed the potential I possessed athletically. I was a large boy and he wanted to mold me into a powerhouse football player. All I had to do was follow his coaching and get in that weight room everyday after school. He could see potential. During my teen years I excelled at putting (organized Putt-Putt leagues) but still I wasn't living up to my potential. After three trips to nationals in Memphis, my best was 36th in the championship. They don't even give you a participation ribbon for 36th. I had the potential to become a champion putter, but fell short every time. In high school Mr. West challenged me to make an A in his class. He knew I had the potential and I knew he was using psychology on me, but I showed him anyway when I turned in the effort and ended up with a 103% A+. In my radio career I've been told that I have the potential to someday be a major market personality. Well, maybe I'm not finished working on that potential. In my stand-up comedy career, the word “potential” was used from my very first performance. I'll never forget the laughter that night. When I exited the stage, the bartender told me it gave him goosebumps to see how well I did. Goosebumps? Wow, I must have potential! I remember an MC in a Dallas club telling the audience after I finished my set, “remember that name, cause he's going places.” And when a talent coordinator for CBS took a liking to me, I knew I had to move to Los Angeles. Because I had potential by golly! When I became a paid regular at the Hollywood Improv in less than a month and a half after arriving, well...my potential was obviously clear. I also had potential to be a great Dad, and that was far more important than any bright lights of Hollywood. I'm cruising along in the daddy and husband department and living up to my potential there everyday. But I can't say the same for any other area in my life. I've never lived up to my potential when it comes to losing weight. I have the potential to go all the way and become trim and fit for the first time in my entire life. And I'm not letting this potential slip away. Not this one, because it's extremely critical to every other part of my life. I have potential to really do something wonderful here. And there isn't a food that taste good enough or a couch that is comfortable enough to keep me from what I have to do to reach my goals. I'm tired and fed up with doing things half way. I'm sickened by all the wasted “potential” I've left behind. That is what drives me to attack each day with an attitude of a winner. I'm going to win this battle against my weight. And when I feel shaky, I have to ask myself questions. Why am I feeling this way? What are the consequences if I make too many bad choices? What have I learned along the way? I've learned that changing lifelong bad habits is a lot of work. But it's so worth it! So I keep on track, day in and day out, and I write about it every night. If I didn't have this time every night with my thoughts and feelings, I can't say how I'd be doing right now. Writing every night forces me to analyze my feelings, my weaknesses, my victories, and it forces me to constantly renew my strength. For anyone starting a journey like this, I highly recommend writing and keeping a journal or diary. If you want the accountability factor, then make it public, if not, then at least keep a personal diary of how you feel about each day. I've let myself down too many times and this will not be one of them. How do I know? Because like I've said many times before, I've decided. This decision is like the biggest bull dozer in the world. There's not an excuse that can get in the way without getting bulldozed.
I think this is the first Super Bowl Sunday in my life where I didn't use it as an excuse to eat a bunch of stuff. We didn't even watch the game. I've never done that before, miss the Super Bowl?...Very strange. I guess we're just really focused on other things right now. Tonight we visited the funeral home in Stillwater to see my Aunt Violet and then met up with family. We had dinner with my mom, grandma, and Kelli, and said goodbye to Amber as she hurried back to college. No chips and dip around here tonight, probably the first Super Bowl Sunday in my life where I didn't have chips and dip.
My calories were perfect today, our workout at the YMCA was excellent, and tonight I'll hit the pillow feeling proud of this weekend. I'll keep on going and I hope you keep on reading. Your support is a gift to me. Thank you. Until next time, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
A Super Sunday and Living Up To Potential
After a shaky Saturday, it felt good to have a super Sunday. We had a wonderful workout at the YMCA today. I feel really good when I get in there and really work. We're only three days away from a monumental weigh day. It's going to be a big one. I'll have officially passed the 100 pound mark, plus I should be in the 390's. That's going to be a great weigh day!
Why is it so important for me to go all the way on this journey without fail? One word: Potential. That word has haunted me my entire life. I've always had “potential.” We all do, but aside from being a good dad, I've always fell short of mine. It started in grade school when the teacher would tell my mom that if I would apply myself, I had the potential to be a straight A student. In junior high, the assistant principle called me in his office and discussed the potential I possessed athletically. I was a large boy and he wanted to mold me into a powerhouse football player. All I had to do was follow his coaching and get in that weight room everyday after school. He could see potential. During my teen years I excelled at putting (organized Putt-Putt leagues) but still I wasn't living up to my potential. After three trips to nationals in Memphis, my best was 36th in the championship. They don't even give you a participation ribbon for 36th. I had the potential to become a champion putter, but fell short every time. In high school Mr. West challenged me to make an A in his class. He knew I had the potential and I knew he was using psychology on me, but I showed him anyway when I turned in the effort and ended up with a 103% A+. In my radio career I've been told that I have the potential to someday be a major market personality. Well, maybe I'm not finished working on that potential. In my stand-up comedy career, the word “potential” was used from my very first performance. I'll never forget the laughter that night. When I exited the stage, the bartender told me it gave him goosebumps to see how well I did. Goosebumps? Wow, I must have potential! I remember an MC in a Dallas club telling the audience after I finished my set, “remember that name, cause he's going places.” And when a talent coordinator for CBS took a liking to me, I knew I had to move to Los Angeles. Because I had potential by golly! When I became a paid regular at the Hollywood Improv in less than a month and a half after arriving, well...my potential was obviously clear. I also had potential to be a great Dad, and that was far more important than any bright lights of Hollywood. I'm cruising along in the daddy and husband department and living up to my potential there everyday. But I can't say the same for any other area in my life. I've never lived up to my potential when it comes to losing weight. I have the potential to go all the way and become trim and fit for the first time in my entire life. And I'm not letting this potential slip away. Not this one, because it's extremely critical to every other part of my life. I have potential to really do something wonderful here. And there isn't a food that taste good enough or a couch that is comfortable enough to keep me from what I have to do to reach my goals. I'm tired and fed up with doing things half way. I'm sickened by all the wasted “potential” I've left behind. That is what drives me to attack each day with an attitude of a winner. I'm going to win this battle against my weight. And when I feel shaky, I have to ask myself questions. Why am I feeling this way? What are the consequences if I make too many bad choices? What have I learned along the way? I've learned that changing lifelong bad habits is a lot of work. But it's so worth it! So I keep on track, day in and day out, and I write about it every night. If I didn't have this time every night with my thoughts and feelings, I can't say how I'd be doing right now. Writing every night forces me to analyze my feelings, my weaknesses, my victories, and it forces me to constantly renew my strength. For anyone starting a journey like this, I highly recommend writing and keeping a journal or diary. If you want the accountability factor, then make it public, if not, then at least keep a personal diary of how you feel about each day. I've let myself down too many times and this will not be one of them. How do I know? Because like I've said many times before, I've decided. This decision is like the biggest bull dozer in the world. There's not an excuse that can get in the way without getting bulldozed.
I think this is the first Super Bowl Sunday in my life where I didn't use it as an excuse to eat a bunch of stuff. We didn't even watch the game. I've never done that before, miss the Super Bowl?...Very strange. I guess we're just really focused on other things right now. Tonight we visited the funeral home in Stillwater to see my Aunt Violet and then met up with family. We had dinner with my mom, grandma, and Kelli, and said goodbye to Amber as she hurried back to college. No chips and dip around here tonight, probably the first Super Bowl Sunday in my life where I didn't have chips and dip.
My calories were perfect today, our workout at the YMCA was excellent, and tonight I'll hit the pillow feeling proud of this weekend. I'll keep on going and I hope you keep on reading. Your support is a gift to me. Thank you. Until next time, good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 139 A Challenging Saturday and Staying Away From The "Line"
Day 139
A Challenging Saturday and Staying Away From The “Line”
Some days are easier than others. Today was not one of them. I've made it through a tough Saturday with my calorie limit in tact, barely, and a horrible effort in the exercise department. There's no excuse, and you know you aren't going to hear one here. The plan was simple today. Sleep late, take Courtney to work, finish some stuff at the studio, go shopping, then pick Courtney up and go to the YMCA for a good workout, then take Amber and KL to a great little Mexican restaurant in town. Most of that list was accomplished accept the most important, going to the YMCA. We decided to work out either on the walking trail or Sweatin' To The Oldies. We opted for Richard Simmons. I'm sorry Richard, but I have a hard time replicating the same intensity as I get at the Y. I did get the heart rate up, but nothing like pushing 3.6 mph on that treadmill or doing a 20 minute bike ride. I will not allow tomorrow to be without a really tough workout at the YMCA. Amber and KL were good sports in doing the Sweatin' work out too. My strategy at the restaurant went awry as well. I wanted to get out of there under 500 calories, and I could have done it with a couple of tacos and a limited amount of chips and salsa. Instead, I used over 900 calories, leaving me just under 200 for the rest of the day. This is exactly what I did the last time I enjoyed that place, and this time I vowed would be different. If this were last weekend, I would have had zero trouble sticking to my meal limit. But so goes this daily journey. It's never the same. Some days are very easy and you're in a bullet proof zone, then others test every ounce of will power you can muster. But I know it isn't one day that decides the final outcome of this mission. It's putting one day behind another and learning along the way. I remind myself all the time that I'm going to have to write about this day regardless of my performance. It's not all bad. Bad would have been drinking a bowl of cheese dip and eating a plate of sopapias with real butter and honey. For the record, I had a small piece of Cortney's sopapia without any added calories in butter. She didn't use any butter either. Aside from the food we had a great dinner conversation. While we were waiting for a table, I stood away from everyone else and I overheard my family talking about how much smaller and better I looked. They didn't think I could hear them, but I could, and I enjoyed it thoroughly as I stood there trying not to smile, thank you fam!
I've had three different people in the last two days tell me how much they enjoyed my “Thank You” letter to morbid obesity from Day 135. I appreciate that, it makes me feel good. And writing it made me feel awesome. I've allowed my weight to shape my entire life until now. It has effected everything I've done. And losing it and becoming a natural size will effect the rest of my life in many ways. Aside from the potentially longer life, I don't really know what those changes will be or could be, but I'm excited to find out. I do know that when I reach my goal and have maintained a lifestyle of being in shape, I'd like to speak to morbidly obese people and help them too. There is hope. When I tell someone about the blog, especially if they have a lot to lose like me, I always tell them to go back and start with day 1 to get the full perspective. Sometimes I might make this process sound easy, but it didn't start out too easy. When you can barely walk a quarter mile and a Wal-Mart trip is considered a big workout, it's not easy. But it gradually gets easier and easier. It's a one day at a time deal. And if you can stay with it long enough, you will see and feel the difference. I have and I'm not even half way done.
I constantly have to keep myself ahead of that “line of least resistance.” It's too easy to just not do this. The line of least resistance is what put me up over 500 pounds for so long. The line of least resistance has an all you cant eat buffet, where you never worry about calories. It has comfy sofas and beds, and not a treadmill anywhere remotely close. Every comfort and indulgence is readily available at that line. But it's not free. It cost you dearly. It takes away so much from your life while pretending to be your best friend. So is staying away from that line effortless? No, not even a little bit. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely. Because the rewards of getting healthy and losing weight gives me more than any false friendship that line provides. It's real positive stuff my friend. I can't imagine the potential yet. It's too far reaching to calculate. And the cost of success? Exercise and learning how to limit portions. And I still get to rest when I need to, and I still get to eat whatever I want, I still get to enjoy myself. Moving this body and eating less is a small price to pay for all the rewards it can bring. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
A Challenging Saturday and Staying Away From The “Line”
Some days are easier than others. Today was not one of them. I've made it through a tough Saturday with my calorie limit in tact, barely, and a horrible effort in the exercise department. There's no excuse, and you know you aren't going to hear one here. The plan was simple today. Sleep late, take Courtney to work, finish some stuff at the studio, go shopping, then pick Courtney up and go to the YMCA for a good workout, then take Amber and KL to a great little Mexican restaurant in town. Most of that list was accomplished accept the most important, going to the YMCA. We decided to work out either on the walking trail or Sweatin' To The Oldies. We opted for Richard Simmons. I'm sorry Richard, but I have a hard time replicating the same intensity as I get at the Y. I did get the heart rate up, but nothing like pushing 3.6 mph on that treadmill or doing a 20 minute bike ride. I will not allow tomorrow to be without a really tough workout at the YMCA. Amber and KL were good sports in doing the Sweatin' work out too. My strategy at the restaurant went awry as well. I wanted to get out of there under 500 calories, and I could have done it with a couple of tacos and a limited amount of chips and salsa. Instead, I used over 900 calories, leaving me just under 200 for the rest of the day. This is exactly what I did the last time I enjoyed that place, and this time I vowed would be different. If this were last weekend, I would have had zero trouble sticking to my meal limit. But so goes this daily journey. It's never the same. Some days are very easy and you're in a bullet proof zone, then others test every ounce of will power you can muster. But I know it isn't one day that decides the final outcome of this mission. It's putting one day behind another and learning along the way. I remind myself all the time that I'm going to have to write about this day regardless of my performance. It's not all bad. Bad would have been drinking a bowl of cheese dip and eating a plate of sopapias with real butter and honey. For the record, I had a small piece of Cortney's sopapia without any added calories in butter. She didn't use any butter either. Aside from the food we had a great dinner conversation. While we were waiting for a table, I stood away from everyone else and I overheard my family talking about how much smaller and better I looked. They didn't think I could hear them, but I could, and I enjoyed it thoroughly as I stood there trying not to smile, thank you fam!
I've had three different people in the last two days tell me how much they enjoyed my “Thank You” letter to morbid obesity from Day 135. I appreciate that, it makes me feel good. And writing it made me feel awesome. I've allowed my weight to shape my entire life until now. It has effected everything I've done. And losing it and becoming a natural size will effect the rest of my life in many ways. Aside from the potentially longer life, I don't really know what those changes will be or could be, but I'm excited to find out. I do know that when I reach my goal and have maintained a lifestyle of being in shape, I'd like to speak to morbidly obese people and help them too. There is hope. When I tell someone about the blog, especially if they have a lot to lose like me, I always tell them to go back and start with day 1 to get the full perspective. Sometimes I might make this process sound easy, but it didn't start out too easy. When you can barely walk a quarter mile and a Wal-Mart trip is considered a big workout, it's not easy. But it gradually gets easier and easier. It's a one day at a time deal. And if you can stay with it long enough, you will see and feel the difference. I have and I'm not even half way done.
I constantly have to keep myself ahead of that “line of least resistance.” It's too easy to just not do this. The line of least resistance is what put me up over 500 pounds for so long. The line of least resistance has an all you cant eat buffet, where you never worry about calories. It has comfy sofas and beds, and not a treadmill anywhere remotely close. Every comfort and indulgence is readily available at that line. But it's not free. It cost you dearly. It takes away so much from your life while pretending to be your best friend. So is staying away from that line effortless? No, not even a little bit. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely. Because the rewards of getting healthy and losing weight gives me more than any false friendship that line provides. It's real positive stuff my friend. I can't imagine the potential yet. It's too far reaching to calculate. And the cost of success? Exercise and learning how to limit portions. And I still get to rest when I need to, and I still get to eat whatever I want, I still get to enjoy myself. Moving this body and eating less is a small price to pay for all the rewards it can bring. Good night and...
Good Choices,
Sean
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