Day 843-853 Better Sleep on The Way, Still Some Weight To Lose, and Another Speaking Engagement

Day 843-853

Better Sleep on The Way, Still Some Weight To Lose, and Another Speaking Engagement

I've been struggling with the effects of sleep apnea so much lately, I just feel wrecked half the time. The results of my sleep study on the night of December 30th require another sleep lab, this time with a cpap machine. I go in Thursday night for round two! They'll adjust the settings, find the perfect pressure, and I'll start feeling rested again! I think I'm finally over the stubbornness I've felt in accepting my post-weight loss sleep apnea problems. Yes--I thought my weight loss had totally liberated me from that disorder, and NO, it didn't. So I have a choice--I can be a big baby about it or I can count my blessings and realize how wonderfully lucky I've been along this road. I've discovered a new life of possibilities free from morbid obesity. So--a sleep disorder, easily treated with a life saving device? No problem. I had a cpap before and I slept wonderfully for years, despite my 500 pound body. It's time to feel rested at 229 or whatever I am now.

I haven't weighed in over four weeks. I must do it again real soon! I'll tell you this--I kind of feel like I may have gained a pound or two. Some of the pictures from my Lose To Win speaking engagement on the 13th, were less than flattering. You'll see. Oh--I'm so hard on myself, because really--compared to where I've been, it's all good. But the jeans I chose that night--I didn't like the fit. Now--when I say that I still have work to do--The people that send me messages telling me I don't, might agree. Some of it is the loose skin factor, but seriously---honestly--I could stand to lose another 15 pounds at least. Maybe even 20. Not necessarily in my upper body, but absolutely in my lower. The pictures will show. And the video that's coming will too. I swear--I'm not crazy or obsessed, my friend!! I'm just brutally honest with myself when it comes to these issues. I'm also very comfortable and confident, and that's something I've never experienced, ever--before now.

I'm eating around 1800 calories per day. Some days less, others a little more. It's a very relaxed approach. I still haven't revved up my workouts. Wow--that's been a running theme on this blog, huh? After 853 days, I'm still talking about needing to "amp up" my workouts. I hope that you realize, my example in the workout department isn't and never has been the best. There are friends of mine that know how to workout good and hard. I could learn a thing or two from you! And YOU know who you are!!

My life feels chaotic sometimes--as I try to juggle a full time job, write/finish this manuscript, and struggle with severe sleep deprivation because of the apnea. But we're getting there--slowly, but surely.

Communicating my story and weight loss methods/philosophy is certainly a passion. I can clearly see how this will be my future in every way. I can't think of a better future. The feedback I get from people who are discovering the power within to transform, is over the top--and it feels amazing to be involved in some small way.

The speaking engagement on the 13th was well received. I certainly feel like I communicated effectively. The main focus was all about getting very real and honest with ourselves and then throwing away the rule book--simplifying the process, and focusing on the right battle. I had a tremendous time and the comments after were wonderful! Big thanks to Gayle Williams of Womyn Aloud Productions for producing the opening segment and running the presentation on the big screen! And big thanks to David and Crystal Deken from Deke Media for the video production work!! The video will be available soon. You can visit Deke Media at www.Dekeonline.com

Beverly said-- Thank YOU Sean! You're such an inspiration and your talk was so appreciated. I hope everyone else took as much with them tonight as I did about not making this so hard.

Cathy said-- Sean, you were amazing!!! Your message was profound and I know so many are going to benefit from your personal story and your Transformation Road!!!

Barbara said--You were great tonight (as usual) Sean! I so enjoyed it and got a lot of motivation from it! I have started reading your blog from day one and read about 3 or 4 days each day. Also if I get to thinking about eating more then what I have on deposit in the bank, I pull up your blog and read one or two days and I'm good to go again! Thanks for helping all of us to "Transformation Road"!!!!

I traveled back in time to January of 2009 and found a nice excerpt from Day 130:

This journey is often times more mental workouts than physical ones. It is a mindset, it is a decision, and the rewards are the good consequences of those decisions. I was always too busy coming up with excuses for why I couldn't do this. But you know what? Once you really decide to do it 100%, the excuses lose their power completely. If you're facing this same struggle then embrace yourself and decide to live! Because this is living my friend. I may still be slightly over 400 pounds, but I can move again! I can go to Wal-Mart and walk the entire store with a positive-effortless stride instead of a labored waddle. I can breathe again, I can hurry if I need to, I can do things that 100 pounds ago was completely unthinkable. When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more. I have no idea what I'll feel like a hundred pounds lighter from now, but if it's as dramatic a change as the first hundred, then I can't wait!

Here we are, two years later--and yes, I know exactly what it feels like to lose the next 100 and then another 76 on top of that---It feels AMAZING! It's cool for me to go back and see how wonderful I felt--even at over 400 pounds. The road has been a joy for different reasons along the way. And it's been a struggle for other reasons. But in all--It's been one incredible ride. "When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more." That is so true!! The results snowball effect!! Good choices lead to more good choices--and the results come with that consistent pursuit.

It's time to check the mailbag and feature a few wonderful messages! I sincerely appreciate every message and I absolutely LOVE updates on your personal success!! Let me know how you're doing!

Hi Sean! Just a note to say I LOVE your blog! Thank you for sharing your journey, and all the inspiration. An amazing journey. I just started my own weight loss journey on 1/1/11 and looking for friends to inspire and be inspired by. I hope you come by and visit my blog, and wishing you luck in everything you do! Hugs, Wendy Check out Wendy's blog at: http://www.WhyNOTme.us

Keep it up, you are right we need to inspire and empower people around us and influence them to what we have seen and experienced I have lost 50lbs in about 2 yrs and it feels awesome but reading your blogs keeps one in check. Thanks--Sam

Hello Sean, How are you? My name is Faye. My husband and I live in a suburb near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! I WAS following your daily posts for a while, and then stopped. I'm BACK now and REALLY serious this time to lose this weight! I am now at 282, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSED to even type that number! I was wondering how do I figure out how many calories I should be eating to lose this weight??? I will be 59 in June and I have family in Rochester New York, my husband and I travel there in June to visit my brother and his wife and my niece and her husband and young son! I HAVE MADE A PROMISE to myself that I want to BE THINNER the next time we go! I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE reading your posts and your pics are just unbelievable! YOU LOOK AMAZING! I KNOW you are so busy with all your posts and blogs and face book (I didn't check Facebook out yet, but will tonight) BUT, I am hoping you could give me an idea on calories! My neighbor and I are doing this together and she gave me the web site of Lance Armstrong site www.livestrong.com It states that I should be eating 1870 calories a day. Today is my 3rd day and I HATE to write what I eat, (its one of the reasons I didn't sign back up to weight watchers) BUT NOW I'M SO HAPPY TO SAY THAT I, YAY, AM TRACKING EVERYTHING and looking up calories too! I HAVE been a HUGE water drinker from way back and just got away from it some. I have been drinking a little over a half gallon every day, sometimes MORE! SO SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU SO LONG HERE AND OH, ONE MORE THING, YOUR FAMILY LOOKS SO NICE! ESPECIALLY YOUR MOM AND GRAND MOM! MINE ARE BOTH in Heaven! Many thanks in advance--Faye

Hi Sean, I am writing to let you know what your blog has done for me. Going back, I am 65 and had gotten a good scare with my Blood Pressure ( I am on meds already) and it wasn't coming back down. I had read your article and then signed on to your blog. Your blog has supported me as I kept a diary on line and measured portions and started the Exercise program SIT AND BE FIT on PBS which is a simple, easy going workout. So, over the last 6 months I have gotten healthier (and that's my goal), lost 27 pounds, and am feeling wonderful. Oh, and my BP is the lowest I have had in years. When I see my internist we will be discussing the amt. of meds I need now. My clothes fit comfortably and my energy level is up. I also don't mind having my picture taken either. I plan on living a good, long time and seeing my grandchildren grow up! Thank you for your continued blog articles and I go back and look at earlier diary entries too, and it really IS interesting! Keep on, keeping on!!! --Rosie

Hey there Sean, Wow...I started reading your blog and I found myself just in tears...reading about what you went through. Just letting you know and you probably hear this all the time but your honesty is so appreciated. I have to admit I read about you having to find a scale and that whole job interview...it made me cry. I just wanted to give you a great big hug. You are a brave soul to share this and having struggled with weight loss it hit a nerve. --Julie

Dave May, who works across the hall from me every morning on KLOR, has started his own blog. It's not a weight loss blog, but it's certainly interesting! His resolution for 2011 is to say nothing negative about anyone ever, for one year solid! How will this effect his life? How will it effect his family? How will it change him personally? Read and find out! He's recruited a pastor, a mental health professional, and an English professor to act as an "expert" panel throughout his journey to less negativity. You can read his interesting blog at www.saynothingnegative.blogspot.com

Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


On stage during the Lose To Win speaking engagement.


Another stage picture...


After interview--for the video


Recent--In studio Thank you Cathy Cole!


Today--George Harrison's sister Louise stopped by the show and had lunch with radio station staff and listeners at Mazzios. She looks so much like George, wow!! She was in town promoting an upcoming concert at the Poncan Theatre--Liverpool Legends will be on the Poncan Theatre Stage January 28th at 7:30pm--sponsored by RCB Bank and KLOR!


Huge before picture--alongside Amber, Courtney, and Irene

Day 836-842 Planning To Reach For More, My Cheesy Speaking Engagement, and More "Lost" Before Shots

Day 836-842

Planning To Reach For More, My Cheesy Speaking Engagement, and More "Lost" Before Shots

I know a stated goal is important, but I must admit something I've experienced since hitting 230: If I'm not careful, I could easily forget that there's still work to be done. I understand that maintaining and losing are two different things, yet very similar. I feel like, eating normal portions, like a normal person, is so automatic now. But what isn't, is setting and committing to a solid workout schedule. I've always stated that redefining my relationship with food--in effect, overcoming a lifetime of food addiction, is my strong point. I'm still and always will be a food addict. But my comfort level with food, my friendship, if you will, is solid. However, with that understood, it's important for me to realize that the exercise part is even more critical now, if I plan to reach further and go beyond where I am physically. I do plan to reach further.

I want that body I've always dreamed of having, and I'm in a perfect position to get exactly what I want. I've stripped myself of the fat shell that I allowed to hold me back for so long and now the canvas is ready for a new picture. I thought about this as I worked out today. The mountain of 276 pounds is gone, and now it's time to fine tune, it's time to dream a little more, do a little more, make it happen again--in other ways.

Melody Knight Young, along with several Ponca Citians, are NYC marathon runners and facebook friends of mine. Melody recently posted to my wall: "So, are you ready to run the half marathon in OKC?" My reply: "That would be amazing. I have a looong way to go before I'm ready for that, I swear. OK--Maybe not that long of a ways...but still, a ways. ;)"

And it's so true. I do have a long ways to go. But it's not impossible. Anything is possible, if I decide to put in the effort needed to achieve. Don't count me out Melody, ever!

I played racquetball with the wall today, just like in the video from my last post. Well, nothing like the video in my last post, really. This time, at 229 pounds, I was flying around that court. I'm training in the court once again. Why? Aside from the fact that it's a phenomenal workout--The owner of the broadcasting company where I work, has challenged me to another racquetball match soon--and he's going to be very surprised at my abilities. Just remember Bill--inside that court, you're not my boss...you're just my next challenger, about to go down!

On Thursday, I had an opportunity to speak at the Lose To Win kick-off event for the third year in a row. It was wonderful! I used 276 pounds of Velveeta to illustrate how much weight I've lost. I even put on my old size 64's and a 6XL "Big Daddy" jersey shirt for my entrance. I had to have two assistants, one on each side, to hold up my pants as I pushed the cart full of Velveeta. It was crazy fun. Those pants---wow, I still can't believe that they were tight when I first bought them. I shared the story of how the button actually popped off and I had to have another sewn on, about an inch over--just to wear them again, they were the only pair of jeans I had at one point. My talk was about how this Lose To Win Challenge can be whatever you desire. It can simply be an eight week contest or it can be life changing forever. If you choose the latter, win the money or not, you'll be winning for the rest of your life! It was a fun speaking engagement and a nice teaser for my upcoming Lose To Win seminar on Thursday January 13th inside the historic Poncan Theatre.

I invited people to come up and share how much they desired to lose---and then, they lifted that amount of Velveeta. I encouraged, "go ahead, walk around with it a little," and then watched as they felt the relief of putting the weight back on the stack. It was a wonderful visual aid and an interesting invitation that many accepted.

I sincerely appreciate all of the wonderful emails and messages sent my way. Thank you! I can't share them all (although I wish I could), but I will share a few--with first names only, in consideration of their privacy. It's messages like these that make me feel on top of the world. All of the work has been worth every drop of sweat, every hour at the keyboard, every personal story shared...worth it, completely:

"Hey Sean, My name is Shirley. I just wanted to say I am so proud of all your
success. I started following your blog after I read your AOL story in
August. What you said made so much sense! Since I stared following I am down 22 lbs and my cholesterol is down 50 points!! Have a wonderful year:)"

"Dear Sean, I started reading your blogs in July and you helped me more than you can know! I am back making better food choices and losing weight. Have another 100 pounds to go but know I can make it with the help of the blogs. Through your blog friends (I was not even aware of blogs before yours) I have made it day to day. Hope you won't let as much time pass in between your blogging as you have had to do recently. Am looking forward to your book coming out. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!! NANCY"

"Hi Sean, Its been almost three months since I originally email you. I am so excited and I wanted to email you again with an update. I have reached my original goal to loose 50 lbs! Thank you so much for being so inspirational! I continue to follow your blogs plus your posts on facebook and enjoy them so. I have looked at pictures of myself and can't believe the difference of 50 lbs and imagine how you feel with all that you have lost. I do have days that I still see myself as the fatter me, but as you mentioned in many of your blogs it's our mind and a mental thing that I need to overcome. I can't thank you enough for being who you are and helping so many people like myself. If I didn't read you blog I don't think I would be at the weight I am today. I plan to continue to loose and the next goal is 25 more but I am so pleased to make it this far and will continue on. I am the healthiest and happiest I have been in 25 years and I feel wonderful! And Size 12 feels fabulous! Thank you again for being so inspirational. Patti"

Virginia writes:
"Hi Sean, sorry for my bad English, but I read from Italy (Florence).
I met you first on your blog and then on facebook. You're such inspirational for my weight loss journey! I'd like to know if your radio station is also on internet,I'd like to hear how sounds your voice :)). I'm tryng to learn English watching movies and hearing English voices....I'd like to come to Pine Ridge reservation ( I love Native American culture) next summer and I'd like to speak an acceptable English. SO... that's it. Good Life, ciao"

I'm so happy for these wonderful people and everyone that shares their story with me!! Thank you so much! I just keep thinking about how your inspiration multiplies exponentially...Because with your success, you're inspiring others around you to do the same--and it keeps going and going!! We can make a difference, my friend!

I traveled back two years into the archives today, visiting January 2009. I found a couple of excerpts I wanted to share:

I constantly have to keep myself ahead of that “line of least resistance.” It's too easy to just not do this. The line of least resistance is what put me up over 500 pounds for so long. The line of least resistance has an all you cant eat buffet, where you never worry about calories. It has comfy sofas and beds, and not a treadmill anywhere remotely close. Every comfort and indulgence is readily available at that line. But it's not free. It cost you dearly. It takes away so much from your life while pretending to be your best friend. So is staying away from that line effortless? No, not even a little bit. But is it worth the effort? Absolutely. Because the rewards of getting healthy and losing weight gives me more than any false friendship that line provides. It's real positive stuff my friend. I can't imagine the potential yet. It's too far reaching to calculate. And the cost of success? Exercise and learning how to limit portions. And I still get to rest when I need to, and I still get to eat whatever I want, I still get to enjoy myself. Moving this body and eating less is a small price to pay for all the rewards it can bring.

From a different day, two years ago--speaking of smaller clothes:

I'm finally on the final hole of that belt I've written about before. When I first started this journey that belt was a good two to three inches from going all the way around me. Then I tried it one day and was able to use the very first hole. I remember what a victory that was. And now I'm down to the very last hole position. This belt is about ready to be retired! What a fantastic way to track progress, hole by hole! It's amazing how good this makes me feel. When I first bought that belt a year and a half ago. I really needed a belt and a few other items, so we drove all the way to Tulsa to the big and tall store. I bought a leather belt two-pack in the largest size they carried and when I tried it on it didn't even come close to fitting. I knew before I even tried that there was no way it would work. Lucky for me the other was a stretchable woven leather design and even though it was technically the same size as the first belt, I was able to stretch it to barely fit. So the little belt made it's way into the closet with the only hope of rescue resting on the possibility that I would someday lose enough weight to use it. I'm on the last hole of that little belt now baby! I get really excited sometimes! You can always tell because my use of exclamation points go through the roof!!!!

This is what it feels like to take a successful stand. Losing weight is such a rewarding experience with so many little victories along the way to that ultimate goal. It seems that I'm celebrating something new all the time. In fact, I think it's time for another Levi's shopping trip to Oklahoma City. I'm going to go for 48's this time. In case you're keeping track, that would be 14 sizes below my largest! I also need some smaller shirts and smaller everything else. There's nothing in my closet I can't wear now. The “someday I'll be able to wear that” items used to outnumber the big stuff two to one. I haven't really thought about buying new clothes just yet because I've still got a ways to go and I don't want to buy new stuff and then be too little for them in a month or two. But I'm going to have to buy some along the way, that's all there is to it! Clothes shopping was always a dreaded idea for me as long as I can remember. Now I look forward to the trip.

My dear Aunt Kelli has once again, uncovered some "lost" before photos that have just left me with my mouth hanging open. I'll write a caption below the one that really got to me recently. I never realized that I looked THAT big. Wow. Thank you Kelli!

And thank you for reading, giving me your support, and sharing your success with me! I want to hear about what you're experiencing! If you haven't already--Please, friend me on facebook!! You can search for me on facebook by using my email address seanboy105@hotmail.com
I've been horrible about updating my Twitter account. I swear--It's as easy as sending a text, but I can't seem to get in the habit. I'll work on that, deal?

Again--thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


The Lose To Win 2011 kick-off was at the new YMCA!


That's a bunch of Velveeta!


Oh my---yeah---This is a big before--but it's not the one that made me wince...this is:

I never realized I looked this big. Isn't that strange? How--despite mirrors, pictures, or reflections in windows--our image in our mind is most always better than reality? This picture really shocked me...and I have some pretty big before pictures. I can see that mom has lost a bunch of weight since, too!! Really--Go look at yourself now, momma!! We were both at our heaviest in this picture!!


Family photo. Irene and the girls. Oh, how I worried them--but I always tried to distract them with humor...thinking they wouldn't worry as much if they were laughing. They really weren't laughing too much inside---always worrying about me...They tell me, it was a constant.


With Amber on her 21st Birthday!!


With KL (Amber's boyfriend), Uncle Keith, and Amber--at her 21st birthday dinner!


With grandma and mom. I love these ladies!!!!

Day 827-835 Farewell 2010--You Were Incredible To Me, Plus Videos and Pictures!

Day 827-835

Farewell 2010--You Were Incredible To Me, Plus Videos and Pictures!

2010 turned out to be an amazing year, indeed. I look back on everything that has happened and I feel a mixture of emotions. The good far outweighs the bad, but it isn't the "bad" that necessarily brings out a slight sadness. It's changes. So many changes, I lost count at some point. I just watched the video of me playing racquetball after losing just over 100 pounds and my bottom lip started to quiver with emotion. There I was, nearly 400 pounds at that point, and I was feeling better than ever. That was me. It's still me in many ways. When I watch that long and somewhat boring video--it's like looking at the old Sean, the Sean that's gone forever. Is that strange? To kind of, well, "mourn" the loss of the person I was? Even though the man I've become is far better off in numerous ways? I sometimes get too introspective for my own good, I think. But you know what? It really is all good. Being a normal size is a dream come true. Hitting a goal that I sometimes thought was unattainable, that, my friend---makes the entire year a shining success.

I'm forever changed in so many ways. It's like wearing a seat belt in the car. I automatically do it every time now, I buckle up with an effortless motion. At over five hundred pounds, I never put on a seat belt, ever. Most of the time, it simply wouldn't fit. Other times, the effort required was more than I cared to invest, even at the extreme cost of my personal safety. Many of the changes I've experienced, have become automatic--just like wearing that seat belt every time. And that feels very good.

Christmas 2010 was my third Christmas along this road. It was very strange to not have Amber with us (she opted to stay with her boyfriends family--and come home after Christmas), and having Christmas dinner with my girlfriend Karen AND Irene and her boyfriend Allen, was---well---slightly awkward. (If you asked Karen and Allen--probably Extremely Awkward!) We were all guest at my mom's place in Stillwater. As strange as that might sound to some, it isn't really. Irene and I have no ill will toward each other, we get along fine. It's a mutual understanding that divorce doesn't mean we're enemies. We have two beautiful daughters, who need two parents, like they've always had...and they still have that...we just live different lives in different households. It's about love, forgiveness, understanding, and a respectful consideration for each other. Let's talk about something else---because I'm walking that thin line of being too personal here...something I've done many times throughout this journey...But I don't necessarily regret that...It's that kind of transparency that has made this blog what it is today. It's a very real account of a consistent, positive effort--out of the trappings of morbid obesity, and into a new way of life on many different levels...and I'm proud of what it has meant to me and the opportunities it has provided.

Someone once asked me if I get paid from this blog, and if not, why do I put so much time and effort into these writings? (Keep in mind--the archives have nearly two years worth of daily post--nothing like the sporadic posting schedule of today) My answer to them was "no, I don't get paid." But that wasn't really true. It may not have provided a paycheck, but it has given me something far more valuable. Every time someone sends me a message telling me how these writings have helped them--that's my pay...and trust me, it feels so incredible to cash those "checks." And eventually, through books, speaking engagements, and other projects--I plan on making this world of weight loss, my career. It's my passion. I must!! So--no, I don't get paid to write this blog, but it's blessed me in many ways far beyond a paycheck.

My sleep lab study was horrible. It was easily the worst night I've had in a very long time. The good news is, I'll be getting the results soon---and with those results, a new CPAP and plan to be well rested in the coming year. I must be well rested--because we have lots to do!!

I'm looking forward to 2011. Oh my--I'm really looking forward to this year...wow. So many wonderful updates to come along the way, and I'll report them all right here. I sincerely thank you for reading and for giving me your support!

Instead of writing about some of the highlights from 2010, let's take a visual tour---below you'll find some video and pictures from a most amazing 2010. Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


The sleep study. Very happy about getting this done...I needed it, big time!


With Courtney on Christmas Day


Dressed to brave the frigid temps for the Annual Anderson Family Christmas Day 5K! (it was just two of us Anderson men heading out there...and we were the ONLY PEOPLE on the lake. We couldn't believe it! It wasn't THAT cold. In this entire city, not one other soul was out on that trail...It was very strange. The other people were probably out there when the sun was shining---we waited until the temps chilled into the 20's with nightfall.


Something rare here---me wearing a hat. I'm not a hat person--but it was very important to wear one for this 5K--My ears thanked me for the warmth.


With Courtney and mom


My dear sweet mother! I love her!!


With my Aunt Kelli, Uncle Keith, Mom, and grandma


The freedom to fit on and ride a water craft like this---wow, it's one of the greatest feelings along this road.


I was still nearly 400 pounds here...it's very strange for me to watch this video...very.


Right before getting the "505" tattoo--Having second thoughts...


Getting the "505" tattoo.


The 2010 Lose To Win kick-off speaking engagement. I was so afraid I would crash on that bike. The door opening I rode through was a tight fit---and the floor was slick...it really could have been bad!!! ;) Choose change before change chooses you! Good times, indeed. And OK---the funeral at the start was dramatic--but seriously--that's exactly where I was headed...and it fit with my over-all theme.


This was from 2009--but I love this video---from after the YMCA Turkey Trot 10K---and seriously--If I can do it...You can too. Love it.


Big before picture---with my grandpa...Oh, how I wish he could have lived to see me finally do what he hoped and prayed I would someday.


Huge before shot...oh my...


Eating before a speaking engagement! Lasagna no less!! ;)


Certainly a highlight for me during 2010!




Oh my---wow...my least favorite before picture. But kind of funny...


The first time I ever had both, mom and dad, in the same room together. It was a very big moment for me in 2010.


With Amber!


Goal. Very sweet.


Love this before and after comparison picture.


Get ready, because 2011 is shaping up to be a monumental year!! I can't wait! My New Years Resolution is to be more organized--and hopefully that translates to more frequent updates on this blog!! Thank you for reading, watching, listening, and thank you for your support!

Day 814-826 Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!

Day 814-826

Can't Ignore This Issue, One More Pound, The Tattoo Story, and More!

This is way too long to go between blog updates. Oh my...wow. A record of sorts, that I'm certainly not happy about. I sincerely appreciate the support and understanding many of my friends have expressed during this incredibly busy time. Not only has it been busy, but I've been dealing with a medical issue that I've kept very quiet about.

The effects of sleep apnea have had a profound effect on me lately. My needs have obviously changed in regard to the settings of my old "sleep machine," and now--a restful nights sleep is hit and miss at best. I can't waste any more time and do any more damage to my internal organs before receiving proper treatment. I really thought that my sleep apnea was 100% caused by my obesity. And it's strange, because after losing the first 100 or so pounds, I was completely free to sleep---machine free, and feel completely rested every morning. But something changed. As I celebrated my freedom from this disorder and continued losing more weight, the symptoms came back. It was sometime after crossing the 200 pounds lost point, that I noticed the return of the old and familiar effects from this exhausting killer.

I'm happy to report: I'm scheduled for a sleep study on the night of December 30th. I cannot continue wishing it away or convincing myself that I can lay in a certain "symptom-free" position. The doctor said something I've been worrying about almost constantly since---He said that the return of my symptoms could have something to do with damage to my heart caused by my years of morbid obesity and the lack of oxygen as a result of sleep apnea. He almost ordered a stress test--but after listening to my heart, considering my exercise ability, and whatever else he took into consideration---He, we---decided to wait on that test. Instead--we're doing a sleep study. If you suffer from sleep apnea--trust me, it's nothing to mess around with...and in the spirit of 100% self-honesty--I've messed around with it a bunch lately. It's about time I do something positive to correctly treat the problem.

This is the worst possible time for me to feel like an exhausted wreck everyday. With my radio schedule and the manuscript weighing heavy on my plate--I must be alert and productive. I haven't been lately, at all. And my slow progress is proof.

I made my way to Stillwater to weigh-in the other day. I didn't make a big deal about it--It was just a check up for me. I've lost another pound, despite my beautiful grandmother's request that I "not lose another pound!" Sorry grandma---229 is what I weigh today.

I still have some weight/excess fat to lose and I'll naturally and gradually make my way to whatever that number will be. I also have some weight to gain---as in, with muscle--in the new weight training area of the YMCA. So really--the number isn't going to matter as much as how I feel and how my clothes fit my smaller body. If I'm fortunate enough to have excess skin removal surgery next year, that too will effect the number. But again---I can't get focused on a number, ever. It's not about that now.

I've allowed myself "extra" calories over the course of the last month---gradually increasing to about 1800 per day. Some days I do, some I don't. It just depends. I still find myself spending way too many calories on loose snacks in the kitchen at the studio. The other day, I consumed about 350 calories worth of pretzels and nuts. That's a little much. The solution?: Preparedness. I simply need to make a point of stocking the kitchen with the kind of snacks I enjoy so I'll feel good about the calorie investment I'm making.

You want to hear a very cool story?

In March, Amber and I traveled to this tattoo shop in Southern Kansas to get our very first tattoos. My "505" tattoo is obviously very important to me--and it has been a wonderful experience to have and show people---especially people that never knew me at 505. It's certainly a conversation piece. Well--now the story gets even better.

The incredibly talented tattoo artist that evening was assigned probably one of the easiest tattoos he's ever completed. "505," nothing fancy--simple block numbers, that's all I wanted--and honestly, all I needed. He was a heavy man himself--I really liked him, and he was of course, interested in the story behind the number. So I told him all about my weight loss and this blog. We had a wonderful conversation about weight loss and our experiences with losing and gaining weight over the years. I'm sure that if we had talked longer, we would have found much more in common...a bunch more, no doubt.

He completed the tattoo and we were on our way. I ran into him not long ago at a remote broadcast and he told me that he was losing weight by eating wonderfully and exercising regularly. I think he had lost about seventy-something pounds at that point. Well--now--it's time for an update:

A recent message from my tattoo artist friend: "Great news to report!!! In the last 6 months, thanks to diet and exercise, I've lost over 140lbs!!!! Feels amazing!!!!! Thanks for the inspiration my friend!!!"

He's out there being consistent in every way---he's redefining his relationship with food and he's exercising everyday. He's taking back control of his life and leaving obesity behind. Talk about choosing change!! I had to ask him the question. Will he get a special tattoo someday, inspired by his amazing weight loss? His answer:

"Yes, a tattoo is definitely in order once I hit my target weight!!! I started at 460lbs, my goal is to get down to 200lbs. Just too feel this great again totally outweighs any desire to eat "bad food"!!! I feel so alive!!!"

I love that story. Thank you, my friend for allowing me to share.

I was back in the archives tonight--reading from December 2008, when I ran across this excerpt:

I was fasting overnight in preparation for my blood work today. By the time I arrived at the doctors office it was nearly noon. Lucky for me they got what they needed on the first stick. The other day they stuck me several times to no avail. While they were at it they decided to give me an EKG. My heart rate was 59. They said between 60 and 80 is perfect. They also said it wasn't a big deal that mine was 59, in fact the EKG looked great. The blood work was going to take a couple of hours to get back from their lab. That gave me a little time to think.

“What if my numbers are bad?” I thought. I don't know how they could be, since they were pretty good to begin with. I seem to never pass up an opportunity to worry about something, even if there's no immediate reason for concern. When I made the call for the results I was very happy at what I heard. My cholesterol was in the 180's before I started losing weight, and that was good. Now my cholesterol has dropped nearly 40 points to a super nice level of 147. It's nothing more than a genetics blessing. Like I've said before, except for the last 103 days, I've done everything in my power to give me horrible cholesterol. I'm just real fortunate to have a 147. My triglycerides were 102, anything below 150 is good. My blood sugar was 99, well below the 119 limit of normal. My LDL was 96, under 130 is great. And my Vldl was 20, which is in range. I guess “in range” is good. They said everything was in range, just perfect. How crazy is that?

I told you, I've been hiding an athlete under all this fat! I had to lay down and pull my shirt up for the EKG. It gave me a perfect opportunity to ask a question I'd been real concerned about.

A month or so ago I was laying down on my bed feeling my ribs. I'd never done that before. I came across a hard bump at the base of my rib cage where the two sides meet. It was very hard, a bone no doubt, but it was sticking up a little. I immediately wondered if this was normal. So there with my shirt up laying on the table at the doctors office, I had my chance to find out. “Is this normal?” “Uh, yes, that's your sternum.” OK, wow, silly me, of course. I was hiding a sternum in there all this time, I just never could feel it, or bothered to notice. I wonder what else I'll notice as the weight continues to melt? I might end up having a tail bone, that would be cool.

By the way, the doctor I mentioned on day 2 of this blog, you know the one that brought me to tears while describing how easily I could die at over 500 pounds? She was there today. When I saw her I proclaimed, “there's the doctor that scared the heck out of me not too long ago.” She smiled and said “It worked didn't it?” Yes, it did, and it's continuing to work everyday. She was just brutally honest, and I'm thankful for that honesty and thorough description of what my insides were going through at over 500 pounds. I'll never forget her. She really made a difference in me.

Since that day---I've discovered a tail bone, a bunch of ribs, and hip bones too! I'm thrilled!!!

AOL's www.thatsfit.com has included me in an "update" story. I'm in wonderful company too. If you check out the link below--be sure to read all of them if you can---including the entries featuring my friends Jack, Lyn, and Susan!! Here's the link: http://www.thatsfit.com/2010/12/14/best-weight-loss-success-stories-of-2010/

The Ponca City News just released a wonderful write up all about me hitting my goal. The story was such an awesome blessing. A big thank you to Beverly Bryant and the PCN!! If you live outside of my local area--you can still read the article by clicking the special link below. The story is on two different pages of the below Ponca City news PDF link. The front page of section C---and then scroll down to page 3C for the rest of the story---including an extensive question and answer interview segment. Here's the link: http://www.poncacity.com/news/docs/mw/mw.pdf By the way--This PDF link will only be available for a week---so if it's after the 29th, it's probably not active.

I recently received a message from a gentleman who just started his own weight loss blog. It turns out, we have much in common. Please check out his blog if you have the time! The address: www.505point8.com That's right---he started at 505 too!!!

I sincerely wish you a warm and safe Christmas with plenty of everything you need. Peace, love, family, and friends. Thank you for reading. I've promised myself that I will not go so long again without posting something...after all--Not every post needs to be a giant post. Look for an after-Christmas post coming soon. I have four days off in a row---and I'm looking forward to every single minute. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Recent picture with my youngest daughter Courtney. She's doing so well!!! Love you sweety!!!


This is a big before picture--Over 500 pounds---at Christmas 2007!!

Day 805-813 Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!

Day 805-813

Size 54 Jeans Seemed So Small, A New Relationship With Food, and "Wow" Reactions!

A friend of mine sent me a big box of jeans recently. Really nice jeans too! Even a pair of size 32 Lucky Jeans. I'm wondering if he meant to send those. It might take some time, workouts, and maybe excess skin removal surgery to wear them--but I think they just became my "one of these days" jeans. It was a generous gift, indeed. And perhaps I can pass along the favor to someone else someday. I will, absolutely!

Speaking of new jeans. In the archives on Day 85, December 8th, 2008---I found this excerpt, all about getting into smaller jeans. "Smaller," being size 54's:

"Today has been a really long day. It started at 5am and it's not over yet! Kelli and I went to Oklahoma City, Kelli for a birth certificate, I was driving Kelli, and since I was down that way picked up a pair of Levis at the Big and Tall store. The other day I predicted that I would fit into a mens 54. After picking out a few 54's and a couple 56's, I went in to the dressing room to get some proof positive results! I tried on the Levis 560 54 inch waist first. And from the moment they buttoned and zipped without trouble, I knew they were the ones. Eighty-Five days ago I was a size 60 or 62, then I nailed the guess the other day! And these will only cover my hide for a very short time, I know, but it felt so good to get into them comfortably. I immediately ripped off all the tags, put on my shoes, and made my way to the checkout with the jeans I wore in the store bundled in my hand. I was buying these jeans. And I wasn't even going to take them off for the ride home. They were mine. They felt good, they were Levis! It's been a while since I could fit into Levis comfortably. On the way out of the store I gave a little wink to the 36's on the top shelf, as if to say... “I'll be back for you someday soon!” And I will! I wonder what that will feel like? I can't wait to find out! Before that triumphant jean buying trip, I'll buy bigger sizes along the way, sure. Size 42 will be a milestone size. That's the size I was wearing in 9th grade. I'm really not that far away!! It felt so good to wear those jeans out of the store, I didn't even notice how tired I was."

Now, after losing 275 pounds, and having a pair of size 36 Levis that fit nicely--It's very cool to read that excerpt and realize: I buy jeans from the top shelf now, you know...where they keep the smaller sizes! I love it!

I've had several emails asking me about my plan for maintenance. Like everything else along this road, I'm gradually getting there. I'm not quite ready for maintenance just yet. BUT---I am slowly increasing my calories. My budget is flexible now, anywhere between 1500 and 1800 is fine with me. I must say though, there are days when I still have trouble hitting 1500. Let me explain, because for some, that must sound really annoying to read. I have become very practiced at getting the most bang for my calorie "buck," and that natural tendency to trim calories where I can is kind of hard to shake. Instead of an egg white omelet, it's OK to throw in a whole egg, maybe two sometimes. I can add a little cheese to that baked potato. I can "afford" to spend a little more occasionally, on things I would normally trim or delete. The bottom line is this: I'm just eating like a normal person, not like a food addict. I no longer depend on food to make me happy. I make me happy, not ice cream or gravy. Food is good. I love food, always will. But food and I have a new and wonderful relationship that isn't dysfunctional. And it's something I never really thought possible, but now I know it is, because I'm living it everyday.

An example of this new understanding between food and me was very clear just last weekend at a wonderful place called: (Cue scary music) The Cheesecake Factory!!! I did my research going in, and really--I didn't like what I discovered. Their menu is loaded at almost every turn. Even things that look and sound innocent enough, must be prepared with butter, grease, and heavy cream, because the calorie counts are anything but innocent. I was really shocked. I was surprised too, about the cheesecake. A big regular slice was just over 700 calories, slightly under 360 for half--and that's what I did, half. It was a bit more calories than I normally "invest" in dessert, but that's just something that happens sometimes. I need to make that a t-shirt: Cheesecake--It happens, sometimes...was it good?

Yes --It was by far the best cheesecake I've ever consumed!! Before the cheesecake, we enjoyed a meal. The strategy was simple: Karen and I would share a meal. We picked something good, that didn't seem too loaded. We would be guesstimating at best, because the pecan crusted catfish was a "special of the day," and not a part of the calorie counts I found online. And oh, by the way--the calorie counts I found online were from a person in the Northwestern United States, a place where calorie counts are required by law, who took digital pictures of the entire menu--with calorie counts. The eleven ounce catfish fillet was "crusted," but seared, then baked. I had half--along with half a serving of the potatoes (which qualified as a regular serving) and half the corn succotash. I'm confident my plate was under 600 calories...add the calories of the cheesecake, and this was easily a thousand calorie expenditure. But it wasn't three or four thousand calories--and I think Old Sean could have made it that way. I had managed my calories a little short earlier in the day, just for this trip. That's not always the best thing to do metabolism wise, but it's something normal people do. "I knew we were going out later, so I had a light lunch." See--completely normal rationale.

I experienced a couple of "wow" reactions recently, that really left me feeling wonderful. I just love running into people I haven't been around in over two years. The only thing recognizable about me, is my voice. That's it! And often times, that's what is said: "If I hadn't heard you speak, I wouldn't have known it was you!" I really enjoyed this one: "Sean, is that you??? How much weight have you lost, dear Lord---look at you!" Yeah--that was very cool. I NEVER, never, never get tired of those...ever.

I'm continuing to work on the manuscript for my first book, "Finding Transformation Road," a weight loss memoir that chronicles the road to and from over five hundred pounds. I sometimes wish I could share some of it with you here, but I can't. I'm so excited, because it's really been a positive experience. I can't wait for you to read this---If you have enjoyed reading this blog from Day 1, then you'll appreciate this upcoming book.

I've allowed my work schedule combined with my sometimes poor sleeping schedule, to effect my writing schedule this week, but I'm always mindful of what pays the bills at this point in my life, and that's my broadcasting career. I still struggle with getting enough quality sleep, and that's not good at all. I must also remember--sleep deprivation can have horrible effects on ones health and well being---including metabolism!!

I try to post regularly on my facebook page. I enjoy the dialogue that sometimes develops along a comment thread. You can learn some very good information! And often times--people who have opened their own "Calorie Bank and Trust," post updates on my wall---and it just absolutely thrills me!!! If we're not facebook friends--then please, by all means---search for me on facebook and friend me!!! I'm listed under my email: seanboy105@hotmail.com

To the kind and caring friend that reminded me that "there's no room for vanity in heaven." I say this: I've spent my entire life hating the way I looked, feeling like the ugliest person in every room, feeling like a freak because of my morbid obesity. Even now, I'm still highly insecure about how I look in so many ways. So, I appreciate the loving guidance and intent--but I will not apologize for kind of liking the new me. Call it vanity if you wish, whatever. I've been very blessed along this road, and I give thanks everyday---in between taking new pictures, of course. I'm kidding. Seriously---I never forget from where I've come. That's exactly why I have my "505" tattoo. It reminds me everyday...and that's good.

Thank you for reading, my friend...seriously, thank you! Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


I love my tattoo!


At over 500 pounds!


Photo courtesy of Cathy Cole!


My "Speedracer" jacket...






I found these amazing ice cream bars from Breyers--for only 130 calories each!!! Love 'em!!!


The pecan crusted catfish dinner from The Cheesecake Factory--as served.


My half was plenty of food--very nice!


Homemade beef tacos and homemade guacamole---almost qualifies as a salad...almost.

Day 798-804 After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket

Day 798-804

After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket

Preparing Thanksgiving dinner and enjoying the family and friends of the holiday was so special to me, especially since hitting goal. It's a nice feeling to be in control, to enjoy food instead of abuse food, to be normal and healthy...to be happy and content. To be me.

There wasn't any desire to stuff myself sick, in fact, my plan of allowing 2500 calories turned out to be a good one, but kind of a challenge. I know that must sound crazy, especially on Thanksgiving, but I'm so prolific at getting the most bang for my calorie buck--sometimes, I should relax a little and eat a little more maybe, but why? If I'm eating decent amounts and I'm satisfied, then I see little reason to push it to 2500, just because it's Thanksgiving. I wasn't deprived in the least! Having this kind of relationship with food is nothing short of a dream come true for me. I owe it all to my "nothing is off limits" philosophy and my "Calorie Bank and Trust." Had I restricted certain foods or only consumed certain foods in my efforts--then I wouldn't have recovered from my food addict ways, because I would have been avoiding the issue--focusing on a means to lose weight, and not the behaviors with all food that always kept me morbidly obese. I will always consider myself a food addict, but I'm aware and mindful of from where I came--and now, food and me...well, we're friends. Life and food, is good...absolutely!

I haven't really touched my calorie budget just yet. I'll get there. I'll cruise under 230 a little and really start to decide where I want to take this body of mine. The new YMCA facility opens Monday and I'm thrilled about getting in there and using everything! Oh my---it's beautiful! I received a nice tour from the senior program director, and I must say, I'm impressed beyond description. The "cycling studio" has an amazing sound system and stadium style levels for optimal viewing. The pools are incredible too---and the fitness area with treadmills and everything else you could ever want---it's unbelievable! I'll be broadcasting from the new facility Saturday morning from 8 to 10am--can't wait!!

I never get tired of getting wonderful messages from people who are having incredible success of their own. Jamie Fisher gives me regular updates on my facebook wall--and I look forward to each one. Here's the latest:

"Sean, was reading a couple of your blogs from the beginning. Its funny, It hit home with me in so many ways. I eat at least 1 meal a week from Wendy's, Grilled chicken sand(no honey mustard) and large chili, very satisfying for 610 calories. I don't want to jinx it, but I am pretty confident when I weigh in on Friday(e...nd of week 19 133 days) that I will eclipse the -100 lb mark, wow what a mile stone in sight. PS wearing even smaller chefs coats yet again, and i officially don't own any clothes that fit me."

I LOVE that! Jamie--can you believe it??? I'm so happy for you!!!

Leah writes:

"Well Sean....today I finally caught up to the present of your blog. I've been reading it since July after reading your story on AOL about losing weight without eating one salad. As I mentioned recently I've lost 31 lbs while getting my daily inspiration from you. Now that I've finished your blog and understand your not writing daily I will go back to the beginning and read one a day as well as your new posts as you post them as I want to continue to be inspired by you daily. I know you get told this often by probably thousands of people now but I just have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the life change you have helped me through. I only wish I had come to this understanding 25 years ago! I'll definitely be looking for your book. Thank you again!"

Pat writes:

"Hi Sean, have a great day. I have to brag a little. My husband and I went to Missouri for the Thanksgiving holidays for five days and he lost 2 pounds and I lost 1. We ate what we wanted but kept our calorie count in check. You have helped us so much with your attitude of this is not a diet, we can eat anything we want, we have to stay in our calorie range. You do not feel like you are missing out on anything. My husband has lost 15 pounds and I have lost 20 so far."

Jamie, Leah, Pat--I can't thank you enough. When I receive messages like these, it just fills me up with joy, it's a constant blessing everyday. It truly makes me overwhelmed with happiness!!

Today, I traveled back in time to December 1st, 2008--Exactly two years ago, and found a very tough installment of this blog:

From Day 78 December 1st, 2008--

Not Perfect and That's OK

This has been a crazy day. Some days are so easy and then for no apparent reason I have a day like today. I've battled my will all day long. Then we took a nap at 3:30 with plans to get into the YMCA by 4:30 so I could get assistance with the machines and we ended up over-sleeping. After dinner I started getting sick to my stomach and a headache. So there ya go, a really challenging day, out of the blue without any obvious reason. I've had every last single calorie I can have today already and it's been a real struggle to not go over. I'm really going to have a long talk with myself before I go to sleep tonight. This is day 78, we've come too far to start having self-destructive urges. I wish I understood why? Usually there's some kind of stress trigger or emotion that I can pinpoint, but not today. I've been through these trying days before (see Day 60) and I've survived by focusing on getting to the next day intact. I just need to survive a couple more hours and I'll be in bed ready to put this day behind me. I am pretty upset about not working out, and now that I'm feeling sick and Courtney's not feeling well, we'll probably miss our workout tonight. That's not the worst thing in the world. We've missed some in the past, but it's certainly not an everyday thing. Considering the circumstances, I'm not going to feel too bad about not getting out there tonight. As long as I can get to bed without going over my calories, I'll count this day as a victory. I've learned that no matter how determined and strong willed I am on this mission, I mustn't try to be so darn perfect all the time. I'm way far from being perfect. I'm doing the best I can do and on 97% of the days that means I stay within my 1500 calories and I exercise. It's days like these, the days that test me, these are the days I'll remember most when I reach my goal. The near misses, near breakdowns, the unexplained absence of will power in critical situations, and overcoming them all, these are the victories that mean the most. I can and will do this all the way.

Sometimes the person that needs to read my past blog post the most is me. Before I ever experienced a tough day I wrote about how easy this was. In the right mindset it can really be a breeze, but like I've said before, this is a learning process. I've never claimed to know everything, all I have is my vast experience in being severely overweight my entire adult life and trying many times to lose weight. This is like weight loss school and every now and then there's a pop quiz that totally boggles me. I've studied my past behavior patterns, I've re-played failed attempts in my head, I've studied every label and calorie count I come across, and I'm still learning something new all the time. All I have to do is keep doing what I've been doing, stay strong and focused, and every thing will be alright, alright!

I'll tell you one thing, it's days like today when this blog really keeps me from a self-destructive binge. The accountability that this blog demands is very important to my mission. I've said it before, it's like therapy for me. I can't imagine not writing every night. A lot of times these blogs flow easy, some times it's harder, as I search for words to describe what I'm feeling and experiencing. The support that I receive everyday from my wife and kids, readers like you, and people that I run into that notice the difference in my appearance is incredible. That support is the most important resource I have along the way. The blog is like a back up re-enforcement. I sincerely appreciate you reading everyday. Thank you very much. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will learn how to do the machines properly at the Y, tomorrow I will erase any doubts that this day presented, tomorrow is day 79, and I'm ready.

Friday morning found me and my friend Karen at JC Penney for their big doorbuster sale. I needed a coat, a jacket--a leather jacket was the plan. And I found a great jacket at a wonderful price. To just stroll into a store and grab a jacket off the rack and have it fit---and to realize it wasn't the biggest they had in stock---in fact, it wasn't even in the "big and tall" section---that is a wonderful NSV. These are incredible days!

I just received word that I'll be featured again, real soon--on AOL's thatsfit.com, as a "best of" success story of 2010. I'm thrilled! The doors that have opened because of that initial AOL feature, has been amazing. I swear--someday, I need to give a special gift back to Martha Edwards, the writer, and AOL. I sincerely appreciate their incredible support!

My focus for December must be squarely on finishing the manuscript for my first book. By Christmas, without fail. It's my Christmas gift to me!

Thank you for reading. I feel like there's so much more to talk about--but not enough time right now. This weekly posting is very tough for me to accept, but right now, it's necessary. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


My Thanksgiving plate. It was simple, plenty, delicious, filling, and wonderful!


I was so excited to try the dessert Karen made--I had consumed a few bites before I remembered to snap a picture!! That small slice of pumpkin pie there, that was all the pie I consumed on Thanksgiving...Very nice!


Courtney and me--Thanksgiving 2010


My daughters--I love them sooooo much!


With grandma on Thanksgiving--She's the sweetest, most precious grandmother in the world!


Mom and me--Enjoying Thanksgiving in her kitchen!


With my Aunt Kelli on Thanksgiving


Eating the turkey...I mean, uh---carving the turkey--yeah, that's what I was doing!!




My daughters, Karen, and me. Karen's help on Thanksgiving was wonderful!! She made the most amazing dessert--a chocolate truffle type dish that totally rocked--and several other dishes. If you've read every single day of my blog, you know that I've learned tough lessons along the way about keeping my personal life private. Karen and I are certainly dating, but that's all I'll say about that! She's been an amazing friend! ;)


The new Jacket


The serious jacket pose---ha! ;)


Big before picture--Over 500 pounds...and looking miserable, oh my...