Day 117 Temptation Vs. My Inner Voice

Day 117

Temptation Vs. My Inner Voice

Learning how to deal with temptation is a big part of this game. When I'm facing something tempting, I immediately start running the numbers in my head. If the calories in the temptation will drastically effect my dinner plans and late night snack, then I usually will pass. So sometimes I choose food based on mathematics. I say “usually,” because you know, especially if you read this blog on a regular basis, I sometimes leave myself without a calorie to spare hours before bedtime. It's all in the choices right?

Today a co-worker of mine brought in some chocolate covered Oreos. I love oreos, and chocolate covered? Oh yeah, that's even better! But they really looked loaded. The gift package they came in didn't have a calorie count, so I googled it, and walla-- 100 calories per cookie. At that point in the day I'd only had 300 calories, so I could “afford it,” but did I want to spend 100 calories on that little taste of chocolate covered heaven? No. I politely declined the offer. But I was tempted! How do I deal with temptation mentally? I have to say, as I get further along this journey, it's getting much easier. At a certain point I realized how far I've come and I don't ever want to go backwards. I sometimes have to get really dramatic with my inner voice. My inner voice: “Sean, this temptation isn't worth throwing away everything you've worked for over the last (insert number of days here) days. You know how we are, if we go nuts this one time, and veer off the course, we may never find the path again, and you'll die young and fat. We'll be lost Sean, and over what? A banana split from Braums? Don't do it man, there's too many people that care about you. Care about yourself this time. We'll have a Dream Bar when we get to the house. That's it, let it go, let it go...You're doing great Sean.” Thank goodness these internal conversations are silent, or else they might have me committed. But I share that with you to illustrate my point. This journey involves a lot of mental aerobics. My natural inclination has always been to eat whatever and how ever much I wanted. So breaking that habit takes a ton of self-control, and that's where my inner voice comes in and talks me into the good choices. Of course my “good choices” may not be considered “good choices” by everyone. I'm all about the calories. I don't care about fat grams or carbs or anything but the calorie content. I have a high “flavor set point,” so I like things that taste really good to me. I can't stand salad alone. If I'm going to eat salad of any kind, it better be stuffed into a taco shell or between two hamburger buns. But that's just me. Sherri made a good comment on yesterdays blog about this very thing. She said she was more concerned about quantity. And I understand that completely. She'd rather have an incredibly filling salad over a higher calorie serving of something else, like my fried chicken and mashed potatoes of last night. Again, it all goes back to choices. There's really no “right or wrong” here. I can choose a whole lot of low calorie food or I can choose the high calorie stuff and just eat less. It's all good. Good choices are different for each person, it's based on personal taste.

I hear people all the time say “I've got to learn to eat better.” I just want to continue learning how to control my intake instead of letting it control me. I'm not going to turn into a gourmet low calorie cook anytime soon, I'll eat whatever we're having, but I'll educate myself on the proper portion and the calories involved every time. I was talking to a friend today about late night eating. He told me that he loves to eat peanut butter on a slice of bread with a glass of milk before turning in for the evening. Depending on how much peanut butter is used, this could easily be a 300 to 400 calorie snack. Add another slice of bread and some jelly, now we're talking about 600 calories. I told him it was always a big bowl of cereal for me. And when I say big bowl, I mean at least three times the suggested serving size. And I wouldn't stop there because after the first bowl, I had to have a re-fill! I bet sometimes I would consume nearly a thousand calories in cereal and milk right before bed. Another friend offered a suggestion to the late night peanut butter eater. One slice of bread and a thin layer of peanut butter. OK, now we're talking about 120 to 150 calories. That's not a bad snack total at all. For me, I've tried a “normal” portion of cereal, to the letter in fact, and it's not that much at all, but it still taste good. I just eat it slower. So if “learning to eat better” means forcing myself to eat things or prepare things I wouldn't normally, then forget it. You will not find any “fat free” items in my fridge, or Tofu, or veggie burgers. I guess I'm just a rebel like that.

I'm feeling so great these days. The 90 pounds I've shed so far has made such an incredible difference in the way I feel. I just keep putting one day in front of the other. 1,500 calories of whatever I want and exercise. That's it. Oh, and water, plenty of water. I drink a bunch of flavored water. I almost feel guilty because it taste so good, but it's still water, and it's still zero calories. Please tell me it still counts! I have consumed some regular water lately, and you know what? As long as it's pure and cold, I really can't say it's bad at all. And of course it makes me feel really good to drink it that way. You know what I do at restaurants? I order water with extra lemons, then I squeeze the lemon juice into the water and add a packet or two of artificial sweetener. It's free lemonade! So good!

Have a wonderful day and thank you for taking the time to read. This blog chronicles my daily thoughts and experiences as I transform from over 500 pounds to 230 pounds, or where ever I look and feel my best. It's helped keep me on track so many times. I look forward to sharing my thoughts here every single night. Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean