Day 120 Being That "Fat Guy" For A Limited Time Only

Day 120

Being That “Fat Guy” For A Limited Time Only

Well, well, well...So this is how the “towel users” feel after a workout. Now don't get me wrong, I sweat during my workouts, but I never look completely “wring out the shirt” drenched. And I still didn't today, but I did use a towel because I was workin' it! I still didn't have my private lesson with the trainer over the machines, but that will work out later this week. What I did do is something I've stayed away from in an effort to avoid embarrassment. As a lifetime “fat guy”, I've understood the role I sometimes unknowingly play in certain situations. I'm the fat guy trying to tie my shoes, or the fat guy trying to squeeze through the turnstile, or hey look! I'm the fat guy stuffed into that little car at the light, or the fat guy trying desperately to fit on an amusement park ride so I can experience it with my kids. “The fat guy” provides some humor to strangers around him in these situations, and although most make sure the “fat guy” doesn't know they're getting a kick out of watching him try to pick up the change he just dropped, the “fat guy” knows he's providing entertainment on some low level. Some “fat guys” really don't care what anyone thinks, the evidence: they like to wear clothes four sizes too small. Me? I've always been aware. Until recently, not enough to do anything about it, but aware nonetheless. I've spent my entire “fat guy” career trying to avoid situations where I'm the spontaneous circus side show. So when I decided to get on that exercise bike at the YMCA, I was really out of my comfort zone. A “fat guy” on a bike is unscripted comedy waiting to happen. I stopped riding bikes of any kind somewhere around 14 years old and 275 pounds. But I decided there wasn't a person in that place that wouldn't applaud my effort. Everyone there is doing the same thing, trying to get a good workout, and I felt like the bike could kick it up a notch for me and I was right. Oh boy was I right. After a hard two miles on the treadmill I jumped on the bike, ok, maybe “jumped” isn't the right word. I slowly adjusted the seat and scanned the room to make sure everybody was in their own little world, then I put one foot in the stirrup and mounted up. After struggling for a few seconds with the other foot I was ready to ride. I really don't think the seat was designed with me in mind, but it wasn't too bad, although I'm pretty sure I can't have anymore children...I'm OK with that. Within five minutes of pedaling I was feeling the burn in my legs. I couldn't quit though, I was in a rhythm. The Chili Peppers were blasting through my earphones and I my legs felt like they just chewed a mouth full of jalapeños. But I kept going, right through the burn. I envisioned fat being melted away from that burn, magically dissolving ounce by ounce. After what felt like forever, I slowly got off the bike and realized it was OK. There wasn't a crowd gathered around laughing, parents weren't hushing hurtful comments from their children, no, everyone was still going about their workout the same as before I started cycling. Then I realized something. I'm not saying that people don't get a laugh at a struggling fat guy every now and then, but maybe, just maybe I have always magnified it in my own mind, making it feel ten times worse than it ever was. I guess what we perceive to be the most embarrassing circumstances, often times are blown way out of proportion after they're filtered through our insecurities. I hope I'm making some sense here.

I made the most wonderful “on the run” lunch today. I fixed myself two turkey and cheese roll ups. It was real simple: some wafer thin turkey and a half a slice of American on a tortilla, rolled up and microwaved for about 20 seconds. Not enough to bubble the cheese, just enough to be smooth and slightly warm. I could've been really gourmet and added veggies, but I was in a hurry! Each roll up checked in at 160 calories, and 320 for lunch isn't bad at all. I was very satisfied indeed. I have to try some different things because I tend to get into a habit of the same old tried and true stuff. I can't tell you how many value menu orders of Wendy's Chili I've consumed in the last 120 days for lunch. It's good chili, and only 190 calories, but I'm getting really bored with it. I bet I've had 25 or 30 of those things since I started. I can't make chili for three at home for three bucks and some change, so it's definitely a good value price wise and calorie wise.

I feel great about today. I really got in there and worked it out. Oh, I've been in there many times in the last 120 days, but today was even better because it seems I've been really lazy lately. I'm not doing just enough to get by, I want to do what I know I can do. It's real easy to do just what's needed for so-so results, but I have a 10 pound goal to meet in 9 short days, and by golly I'm going to do it! Maybe that's a facet of this journey I need to re-examine. The benefits of setting two week goals. You know I have a 100 pound goal, and a 115 pound goal, then 200, then 250, and on and on...But maybe I need to break those down. You know what I mean? I tell you one thing I will not be doing when I hit the first 100 pound goal. I'm not celebrating with a gorge fest like I did in 2004. You might remember reading about this early on in this blog series. After I hit the 100 pound mark in 2004, we celebrated Courtney's birthday and my 100 pound goal at the Hideaway. I had all kinds of pizza and fried mushrooms and didn't count a single calorie. I was celebrating! But there are better ways to celebrate, especially when the journey isn't finished! Maybe I'll celebrate with another 5K! That's the spirit!

Thank you for taking the time to read and follow my daily journey toward no longer being the “fat guy.” I'm getting there one day at a time. Your support is greatly appreciated! Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean