Day 146 The Right Motions and Emotions For The Long Run

Day 146

The Right Motions and Emotions For The Long Run

Every now and then I'll write a blog entry and then read it the next day. And sometimes I wonder if the message was delivered effectively. After re-reading yesterdays blog, and reading a message from a comedian friend who read the blog, I just wanted to clarify a couple of things. I wasn't talking about any of my personal comedian friends in Los Angeles. I was talking about being grounded in reality and having realistic perceptions of our talent, abilities, and in relation to weight loss, our appearance. I also wasn't trying to be negative at all. I'm a huge believer in going after your dreams. I encourage everyone to do that, but do it with the ability to honestly evaluate what is needed and what goes into achieving those dreams. There's rarely a case of a true “overnight sensation,” the majority of success stories have worked hard and developed over many years before they achieved their greatest success. I believe, and always will, that you can do anything you decide you can. Hard work, persistence, allowing yourself to really learn along the way, and knowing where you honestly stand at all times can overcome any lack of natural talent and ability. I was trying to draw a parallel to misconceptions most overweight people, including me, have about their own appearance. This blog isn't about stand-up or radio, but it is coming from me, and naturally I'm going to draw on personal experiences to communicate. The bottom line is this: I didn't like what I saw on the racquetball video! My mental image of me was about 100 pounds ahead of my rate of weight loss. But, even though I can't stand it, that video is uploading to You Tube as we speak, and I'll try to put it at the bottom of this page. I'm also going to work on uploading a bunch of new pictures over the next two nights. I can't have a weight loss blog without plenty of pictures!

Sherri shared a quote from her dad that was really good. “What you think of me is none of my business.” I've known many overweight people that couldn't care less what people think of them, and I've always admired that in them, one of my roommates in Los Angeles was and is a shining example. But if you've ever wondered why I haven't posted very many pictures or any videos before now, it's because I worry too much about what others think of me. I'm a very confident person in many areas of my life, but when it comes to my appearance, I've always been extremely insecure. My appearance insecurities have ruled my entire life, and as the weight comes off and these insecurities have less and less reason to exist, I hope to make some real personal psychological breakthroughs. I've heard many former overweight people talk about how they still see themselves as fat. Even though they look and feel completely different, they can't let go of the insecurities and self image they've always had. One of my goals is to shed that insecurity and re-invent my self-image along the way. Somebody once told me that no matter how much weight I lose, I'll always be a fat person inside. I refuse to believe that! I think that accepting that notion is a sure fire recipe for re-gaining the weight. I'm not just going through the motions here, I'm digging deep to get a handle on the personal realizations and knowledge I need to achieve and stay at my ideal weight for the rest of my life.

I just finished a 5K at the trail tonight. It certainly doesn't feel like February, I love it! With the 3.1 miles I've logged tonight and the 2 miles I logged on the treadmill at the YMCA this afternoon, I've officially set a personal one day distance record. I've walked 5.1 miles today. That's nearly twenty-one times what I could do on day 1. My workout endurance has increased over 2000% in 146 days. It just goes to prove, that if you're physically able to move any distance at all, and you consistently try everyday, then it will get much easier. I honestly thought I was going to drop dead if I pushed the walk past a quarter mile that first day, and wow, 5.1 miles...that makes me so happy.

A friend of Amber's left a bike in our backyard months ago and today I decided I would try to ride the thing. Two flat tires quickly killed that plan. I want to ride a bike outdoors again so bad! And maybe I'm not quite where I need to be to do that, but when I get to a certain point, I'm getting a bike I guarantee. I also want to swim. I love swimming, but I've allowed my weight to completely keep me out of any pool or body of water that's visible to anyone but me. Swimming is incredible exercise and could really be a huge difference maker every weigh day.

I enjoyed soup as a meal today. Why is that such a strange thing? Well, soup has always been something I enjoyed before a big meal at a nice restaurant. When asked “soup or salad,” I always go for the soup. And if it's a cream based soup, all the better. But after reading the nutrition labels of a variety of soups, I chose a very simple chicken noodle. It was extremely filling and very low calorie. I only used four saltines in the bowl, the old Sean would have used at least a half a sleeve. Even after the 48 calories worth of saltines, the soup was still under 200 calories. I've really enjoyed todays progress. I look forward to the future with an overflowing amount of enthusiasm. Thank you for reading my blog along the way. Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean


It took nearly four hours to upload even with a high speed connection! Very boring to watch if you ask me. It's much more fun to do it!