It's a question I get quite often: "What finally made it click for you?"
Awe yes, the magical "click," the imaginary boundary between chaos and order. I waited for the "click" to rescue me. I fully expected it to roll in like a tidal wave and completely carry me all the way through. But that didn't happen. The click--the magic moment of inspired action with monumentally positive consequences, where everything is seemingly figured out all at once as if every challenge and every mental hurdle simply melted away, along with the pounds...didn't really happen the way I imagined and dreamed it would.
I waited and waited for the click to save me. I almost waited too long. Throughout the nearly two decades I spent near, at or above 500 pounds, I used the expectation of this mythical click as an enabling thought. I was certain, someday "it would click" for me. Until then--I'd just continue to do whatever supported the behaviors keeping me a 500-pound man. This someday it'll click way of thinking was perfect because it released me from taking responsibility and action.
In my experience, the click isn't something that magically sweeps in, whisking you off to weight loss glory and immediately changing everything in its path. Waiting for the click can be a fatal mistake.
Fear of death never really worked well for me. The only thing it ever did was scare me into pleading for the click to come quick. As if I was powerless in the process, I'd take the doctor's warnings and pray for something to click--something to save me, because that's how I thought it was supposed to happen.
The click is created. The click must be enabled, or activated. The click is a combination of ingredients, a recipe with the main ingredient being, self-honesty.
When I got real with myself, that was the beginning of the click.
And I thought the answer would be found in a package, procedure or plan of some sort. You know, something to do it for me--something that didn't require me to get honest about my behaviors with food.
Packages, procedures, and plans DO work. But if I still refuse to get honest about my stuff--and refuse to take responsibility for my self-destructive relationship with food, then the best-packaged products, medical procedures or weight loss plans will only be treating the side effects of my condition. Like calling a cleanup crew to a sewer line break, but not calling a plumber to fix the broken pipe. Yo-Yo dieting happens when we're constantly sending the cleanup crew instead of the plumber.
The thoughts that enabled the creation of the click inside me was: If I don't stop lying to myself about this, then I'm doomed. If I don't stop rationalizing my poor choices, it'll never happen. If I never take this seriously--and instead, treat it as a casual issue--it'll never be important to me. If I refuse to be accountable, then nobody will be the wiser if I fail--and honestly, if I reject accountability and support, then I'm, in effect, wanting to fail.
Once a generous amount of self-honesty was applied--then it was iron-clad decision time. I'm doing this!! That was it-- no more lying to myself. No more waiting for something to magically click and save me. No more waiting for the next big weight loss "thing." This time WAS MY TIME.
There was only one problem.
I didn't know how. The solitary decision to get honest and make the iron-clad decision to choose change before change chose me wasn't the click.
The click is created. It's built--it develops.
I had to start as simple as humanly possible. I had to release my expectations of what weight loss required of me. I had to release my diet mentality. I wanted a sustainable plan, not another clean up job. I started small, slow and steady--and eventually built up to a point where I wasn't white-knuckling it anymore. Instead, I was in the click. I had finally found my groove. This click--this groove, was created because I kept it simple from Day 1.
Had I complicated the process, the click wouldn't have happened--or better, the consistent results associated with and recognized as "the click," wouldn't have developed.
Hoping, wishing, wanting and praying for the click wasn't the answer. Praying for the ability to get honest enough for the click to develop--was key.
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Today was a wonderful Saturday. I slept in well. I spent some quality time with my grandson and I enjoyed a wonderful date night with Kristin.
I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget. I remained abstinent from refined sugar. I exceeded my daily water goal and I remained in active support communications.
Continuous Live-Tweet Stream:
"They" say, 2 cups water, first thing, helps metabolism, digestion, brain function and other things. I believe them. pic.twitter.com/bfcpq8lUJJ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
#morningdeal is a fast 2 cups water, 20 push-ups & 20 squats. I do the deal first, then I get coffee. #worksforme✔️ pic.twitter.com/BiypBQHU4O— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
Slept-in well! Awe, first cup is best ❤️ Three tablespoons half & half in my dark roast. This and a refill. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/u1tKxqAXYs— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
Brunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/DOOXtUPGXx— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
6.8oz sirloin, two egg whts & 1 whl egg omelet w/94g avocado & 30g red pepper, 5.3oz apple & 72g red grapes. 623 cal pic.twitter.com/TFIRCFzsO3— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/4WtDdJwGDf— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
2 cups water with lunch. #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/BM6M6Bp3D1— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
Cheesy Chckn Tostadas w/4oz chckn, salsa, 2 slices thin cut swiss, 1 slice provolone & 30g sr crm. 14g chips. 523cal pic.twitter.com/g5oX7Z7fTo— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2016
@SeanAAnderson finally finished your book today. Thank you, Thank you! Your story touched me as I saw myself inside it. I choose change.— Mike Roberts (@nonamegourmet) June 25, 2016
Three tablespoons half & half in this dark roast. I'll be up late. It's date night. Good coffee, needed. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/Bd49IHXzPV— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
3 cups water with dinner. #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/dZAXr9axyf— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
Table-side Guac. I asked him to make it like I do at home. I think he was slightly irritated. Photo w/permission. pic.twitter.com/GHRq1V6K44— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
Mexi-dips! Guacamole with approx.85g avocado, diced onion, approx.15g sr crm, homemade salsa & 18 chips. 418 cal. pic.twitter.com/pRVxEMKdPp— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/X4KLEI5s6K— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
Sour cream chicken tacos with approx.6oz chicken, 30g sour cream & lettuce. 364 cal. pic.twitter.com/qBc7Un3juw— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
2.5 cup bottle of water during movie exceeds #watergoal pic.twitter.com/gNJqLJDF8F— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
201g red seedless grapes & 3.1oz banana. #lastfoodofday 183 cal. pic.twitter.com/lGzgU8fzQw— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 26, 2016
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
Sean..Truly one of the best and most honest things I have read about this process. Saving this. Thank you. Pam
ReplyDeleteWonderful word as always Sean. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteOne of your best posts Sean! There's no magic diet fairy, magic pill, magic beans, it's about doing the work--inside and out. So many people will benefit from reading your very true words.
ReplyDeleteThe best post! It "clicked" with me. I will reread this often.
ReplyDeleteEvery once in a while when I read your blogs, they speak to me, and I identify completely with what you have so eloquently written. Today's did that for me. CLICK! Yes it sounds so easy, but it doesn't happen overnight, and it only comes about when you start making those changes you know are necessary. My blog today over at Spark talks about what you wrote--I hope that's okay. Here's a link to it if you're interested. http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6190132
ReplyDelete