Thursday, October 16, 2014

October 16th, 2014 No Seatbelt Extension Needed

October 16th, 2014 No Seatbelt Extension Needed

The experience of flying again was excellent. I didn't need a seatbelt extension and I was in my seat, 100%. I wasn't crowding the person next to me. It was one of those moments were my brain was forced to accept reality. Because for whatever reason, my brain doesn't register how much smaller I am, at least most of the time. Seeing a profile reflection in a window or mirror gives some perspective--but nothing like sitting in a small airplane seat and comfortably clicking the seatbelt--then realizing there's a sliver of my seat left between me and the person in the middle.

I must allow the Tweets to tell the story of my Thursday because I'm on a timer. My laptop, for whatever reason, is moving super slow. I don't know if it's my laptop or the internet service here at the Marriot Grand Chateau in Vegas. So--in order to get Thursday's post up--I made my way to the lobby and one of the complimentary computers. The only catch: You're on a timer. I have just under eight minutes remaining.

I'm the guest of Jon from Wisconsin. Jon has had some incredible success along this road, losing over 100 pounds to date and counting. It's been awesome meeting him here in Vegas and already it's like a weight loss/transformation meeting of the minds. I'm looking forward to the next couple of days!

The two hour time difference is hitting me fairly hard. It's just after 2am here--which is after 4am back home. I'm wrapping this up and headed to bed. Viva Las Vegas!

**Tweets added Monday 10/20/2014
My Tweets today:






















Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, October 15, 2014

October 15th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

October 15th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

I was really concerned about today's weigh day. Not in a "oh no--I might not see the number I want" kind of way--rather, in a self-honest "I know I wasn't necessarily giving it my best" kind of way. I've dined out too much, I constantly choose to struggle with getting enough water, I choose to not get enough sleep and my workouts have been less intense overall during the last three week period. I didn't see the pool once during this previous three weeks. I attended two, maybe three spin classes total--I think it is two. The majority of my workouts have been walking and elliptical, but mostly walking--and some of those walks could be classified as leisurely strolls. I'm not mentioning these things in an effort to criticize--I'm simply pointing out the extreme imperfection of it all, and that's a good thing. It doesn't need to be perfect, it only needs to be consistent and relentless.

What have I been doing well? I haven't strayed to the dark corners of a binge in more than six months. I credit my abstinence from sugar and my accountability measures for this binge free 1/2 a year! I'm staying connected very well via this blog, my Twitter feed and Facebook page. And I'm keeping my progress in perspective. I'm not looking for a loss to make me happy. I'm already happy. I'm maintaining a critical level of importance in my recovery. It isn't something I'll sacrifice. 

The other things--the "things I need to improve" will or they won't, depending on the importance level I assign to each.

I was absolutely thrilled to step on the scale today and find this:
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8 more pounds gone! I've lost 97 pounds in the previous 25 weeks. I must say-- when someone asks me what I eat, I love sending them to the Twitter feed for "every bite-everyday." Live tweeting this recovery from regain has been a decision I'm very proud I made.

It was a very busy day! I'm preparing for a trip to Las Vegas tomorrow evening. It'll be a short trip, but fun and interesting none the less. I didn't get to do all I wanted today, but I was able to get done what I needed to get done work wise and otherwise, in order for me to have a less stressful departure day. Tomorrow night's blog will be coming from Las Vegas. I'm looking forward to sharing the experience in these pages.

My Tweets today:


















Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

October 14th, 2014 I Believe In Me

October 14th, 2014 I Believe In Me

I believe in me. What does that mean? To say "I believe in me" means the goals, hopes and dreams we hold are no longer long-shot possibilities, because we truly believe we're capable of achieving each and every one. We can see where we're headed. We can envision a future where we're living out the beautiful consequences of the choices and steps we're taking today. I believe in me.

I believe I can reach my healthiest weight and take extraordinary care with food and exercise long after reaching whatever weight is my healthiest. I believe I can successfully maintain for as long as I am willing to hold important the fundamentals of my recovery.

I believe I can write my second book and I believe it can be my best work. I believe I can successfully transition into a future where I'm a full time writer and speaker. I believe I can write, voice and produce an audio project that offers a unique type of support for anyone along this road, called "Sean's Weight Loss Meditations." <<< That's happening sooner than later and I'm excited about it to no end!

I believe I deserve the wonderful, balanced and healthy relationship I'm experiencing with my sweetheart, Heather. I believe I can learn and grow and not sabotage it simply because it is something good. Too many times I've found a way to self-destruct when something feels right and good, because somewhere deep inside there was a powerful feeling of unworthiness. I believe that nagging notion has been mostly eradicated from me in a profound way. The remnants left behind are easily recognizable and acknowledged as baloney whenever their effects try to influence today.

When the harshness of self-criticism is softened from abusive to a healthy and constructive place and we realize we're not so bad after-all, suddenly we obtain a clearer perspective on reality. We're incredible people, you and I. We're capable of anything and everything we make important. When we believe, the object of our desires becomes a part of us, in faith, hope and small steps, the part of us where this lives, grows...and soon, it just is, us. 

---------------
In broadcasting, a day is never busier than one where your company is hosting a signature annual event. All of the planning, the meetings--everything comes together, culminating in an extra long day--but a good day. That was my day, today.

Ladies Night Out is an annual event our company started ten years ago. It's a night of free wine, free food, shopping and prize giveaways! Of course it's successful! I mean, really--what's not to love? Free-free-free! 

Attendees who never miss this event have witnessed me at my heaviest, my healthiest, somewhere along my regain weight and where I'm found today. The compliments on my appearance this evening were numerous. I took each one with grace and a very simple, "thank you." I remind myself constantly, that I mustn't mistake the pleasure of these compliments as a measure of happiness. My happiness isn't dependent on my weight or appearance. Does it feel wonderful to hear the kind words? Absolutely--and as long as I keep the proper perspective, it's a fantastic part of this road we travel.

Proper perspective confirms my happiness is powerful, real and ready to be experienced whenever I decide, at any weight. Outward appearance is superficial and can be fun, sure. I mean, really--who doesn't love a dramatic "before and after?" The certainty of our continued happiness isn't found out there, it's found in here (points to heart) and here (points to head), not here (points to rear end).

The owner of our broadcasting company bought us all dinner after the event tonight. I resisted the goodies catered for our attendees quite easily. I had plans to grab some Hawaiian Fajita Tacos or something else equally good as soon as I left--but this company paid dinner at the restaurant down the hall from the ballroom housing our event, was a good one.

I left the venue shortly after 9pm and had just enough time to race into the Y, change into my workout clothes and ride the elliptical to a wonderful 30 minute workout on level 11. I closed 'em down tonight. I was very tired and honestly, I didn't feel like working out. I almost decided to go home--write a short post and hit the pillow. That decision wouldn't have been bad or incorrect--but I'm glad I chose the Y, a 30 minute workout--then home. I needed a good workout.

Tomorrow is weigh day! I have every reason to believe it will be a weigh day that tests me in many ways. I haven't had the solid day in and day out certainty of previous three week periods. My food has remained good. But my workouts have been lacking in the last few weeks. I haven't been getting as much water as I need or enough rest and I've eaten out a record number of times lately. Whatever the scale gives me, I'll remember to be grateful and give thanks. I will be ready to adjust my perspective and approach as needed. And I'm sure it will be needed!  

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your incredible support,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, October 13, 2014

October 13th, 2014 Worth Every Minute

October 13th, 2014 Worth Every Minute

After another late night of weather coverage, I feared my Monday might resemble my Friday--except this time I didn't oversleep my alarm. I was up and on the air at 6am. You can always tell if I'm hurried in the mornings or more relaxed by the way I prepare my eggs. If I prepare a nice looking omelet, I obviously took time and care in whipping it up. If the eggs are over-hard, I was clearly rushed with little time for whisking or folding. I prefer the omelet style if time allows. I wasn't late this morning--but I certainly did not have time for whisking.

I found out about today's company paid lunch get-together this morning. The plan was for everyone on staff to meet at a nice restaurant within one of the casinos. I had successfully navigated this place a few times, so I wasn't too concerned. When we arrived, we discovered the restaurant doesn't open for lunch on Mondays. A snap decision was made and we all gathered steps away in the sports bar. The sports bar menu isn't as easy to navigate. I was confident I could find something--but my order wasn't automatic like it would have been in the full service restaurant.

We all shared some chips and salsa and I decided to continue what is almost becoming a joke with this chips and salsa thing. I've had chips and salsa, I don't know--I would have to go through my tweets to be certain--but at least five times in the last ten days, maybe more. I always count them, sure. I always separate my chips from the bowl, creating a psychological barrier between me and more--of course, but still...I think I'm indulging in them a little too often. But that's just me. 

I ordered one of maybe two things I could feel good about on the entire bar menu--a grilled chicken sandwich--no bun, no sauce--no bacon, no cheese and an order of sweet potato fries. I enjoyed the two tomato slices too. Okay-- I made it through the company lunch! We all met there because tomorrow night we host one of the biggest events of the year at this same casino: Ladies Night! It was a chance for us to have lunch and then check out the setup in the ballroom for this huge event.

Tomorrow night will include free wine, free food, lots of shopping and plenty of prize giveaways for the ladies attending and once again, we're expecting a capacity crowd. I will plan very carefully going into this event. One thing is for sure: I'm keeping away from the meat and cheese selection. It's too easy to eat too much, too fast.

With all of the events on the horizon, I know it will likely be my birthday on the 23rd before I see mom again, so I made my way to Stillwater to visit over dinner this evening.

On my way to mom's place, I stopped for coffee with one of the most fascinating people I've ever met. I first met Bill when he purchased my book at the Hastings signing in January, 2012. His support and encouragement of what I do is an amazing gift. Summarizing Bill's fascinating life in a sentence or two wouldn't do it justice. The fact that he's enjoyed my writings and related in deeply profound ways--enough to want to meet up again and enjoy coffee and conversation, was truly an honor and well worth the time. I'm so glad we finally took time to visit. And we did in the coffee shop inside Hastings--the same place we met at my book signing in January 2012.

I had a fabulous visit with mom this evening. We dined on the 550 calories or less menu at Applebee's. Mom is doing well. Her recent doctor visits have shown promising results in regards to her health challenges. It's always good to just relax with mom and enjoy a nice dinner and casual conversation. We love to laugh when we're together. Our sense of humor is one of many things we share.

I knew tonight would be a late night--and that's okay. It was worth every minute.

In the comments of yesterday's edition, Nancy requested some tips on how to deal with sudden changes or wacky schedules when you're trying to maintain a food plan. I didn't offer tips, necessarily--instead I offered a perspective.

She writes:
"You amaze me how you handle those crazy iffy hours and still stay tight with your food plan. "Monkey wrenches" thrown into my day I may handle one time, but over and over end up throwing me in the food dept. it seems. Can you give me some tips on how to correct this?"

Reply: 
It goes back to my philosophy about how the fundamentals of our success--the food and exercise, must become somewhat of a background program running throughout our daily lives. Like on a computer--you can do many things on the screen in front of you--all the while, one or several programs are running in the background and they will continue running smoothly unless you do something drastic to interrupt them.

It's all in your perspective. I look at my food and exercise as something I will do regardless of what's happening in the foreground. If what I'm doing suddenly shifts gears and I allow it to dramatically affect my behavior with food--then I've brought it out of the background and into the foreground. the only time I need to bring the food to the foreground is when I'm planning what I'll eat. I make the plan-- sometimes far in advance--sometimes on the spur of the moment...as soon as the plan is made and I'm good with it--the food goes back to the background and life and everything else can continue in the foreground. Does this make sense?

If we allow the food and exercise to constantly feature in the foreground of our lives--then life will get in the way or it will get in the way of life. It becomes a part of our life when we allow it to run in the background, parallel--but not in the way of our life in the foreground.
In other words--we must decide that no matter what curve we take, we do not need to sacrifice the integrity of our food plan.

It's taking the all consuming focus off of the food and onto our lives--because if it's the other way around, we will trip on the slightest unexpected change on our path.

My Tweets today:




























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, October 12, 2014

October 12th, 2014 Good Things On The Horizon

October 12th, 2014 Good Things On The Horizon

It's late on a Sunday night. We're under a thunderstorm watch, so I'm up and ready to go to work should any of it go severe. I'll make this a short post tonight.

I enjoyed the day away from home, visiting Heather and her son. We enjoyed a late Sunday brunch together and I made some time to get a good walk in--it was short, but it was something. It felt good.

Heather made some homemade lean beef and black bean chili for dinner this evening. Oh my--it was good!!

There's plenty of big things on the horizon in these pages: Weigh day is Wednesday, I have a trip to Vegas at the end of the week, I workout some stand up material in front of an audience for the first time in a very long time on the 22nd, and I have a birthday coming up the 23rd! I'm looking forward to it all!

For now, I'm definitely headed to work. There's a line of storms moving closer.

Note: I forgot to tweet my walk this afternoon.
My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support!
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, October 11, 2014

October 11th, 2014 Nearly Ten Hours

October 11th, 2014 Nearly Ten Hours

I forgot to take the melatonin last night before bed. I planned on taking a couple to help me sleep through the early morning. I was in bed by 11pm and I slept until 8:45am! I didn't wake one time for nine hours and forty-five minutes, without the influence of the melatonin! I must have been really tired.

I felt amazing all day. I hit the Y this afternoon and took it up a level. Level 11 instead of level 10. You wouldn't think it would make a very big difference, but it does. I worked it hard and felt super accomplished.

I made the trip East late this afternoon to see my girlfriend for date night! We dined out right before seeing Gone Girl. Oh wow. It was an amazing film. The writing should win all kinds of awards. The best thing--I was able to stay awake for a two hour and twenty minute movie after being up all day! That's what nearly 10 hours of sleep does to me!

I'm looking forward to a good workout tomorrow morning!

My Tweets Today:
















Thank you for reading and your support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, October 10, 2014

October 10th, 2014 I'm Winning

October 10th, 2014 I'm Winning

The late night weather coverage last night resulted in me oversleeping this morning. At least it was for a good cause, right? For some unexplained reason, I was full of energy right up until about 1:30pm when I started crashing.

I couldn't take a nap because I had things to get done before my emcee duties at a local elementary school carnival. The station I work for is a partner in education with this school--and two times a year I contribute my time to emcee an event. It's always a decent turnout. Tonight marks the 5th or 6th year in a row I've emceed this particular event. It went well. I didn't prepare very well, though. I should have packed some food. I didn't. I declined the offers of popcorn, hot dogs and chips tonight--opting instead to meet my daughter Amber and her fiance for dinner at my favorite little Mexican restaurant, immediately after the event. Once again, Fajita Crispy Tacos was the dinner of choice!

I had the calories coming, so I indulged in some chips and salsa with a little sour cream mixed into it, making a nice creamy dip. I counted my chips, declined the cheese, rice and beans--ordered corn taco shells instead of the typical flour tortillas and got out of there within my budget. Still, I have a feeling I'm eating out way too much lately. Will it show up on weigh day, Wednesday the 15th? Maybe. We'll see.

I fell short on my water consumption today and although my rest day was Monday, I decided to take another rest day today, skipping the workout tonight. My FitBit still is giving me a calorie adjustment of over 230 calories based on my activity.

I'm exhausted and simply need to sleep as long as I can to really soak up some good rest. I'm taking some melatonin here in a few minutes and I hope it keeps me from waking up early, instinctively.

I'm not beating myself up for any of this today. I'm still taking extraordinary care and sometimes that means allowing an extra helping of self-compassion. Negative self-talk does an incredible amount of damage--far greater than the physical damage of not getting enough water or exercise, or eating out too often. 

I'm winning, so why try to convince myself otherwise?

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, October 9, 2014

October 9th, 2014 Enjoying Our Food

October 9th, 2014 Enjoying Our Food

Weather coverage has kept me up late tonight. The weather hasn't been anything severe, just light to moderate and at times heavy. Around here, even when it's not severe, it's important for us to be on the air saying it isn't, because it certainly can sound that way at times! If it's important for us to be on the air when severe weather is threatening, it's also important to be a voice of calm reassurance when it isn't.

I had a great food day. I was creative and I love it when I get creative in the kitchen! One of the things I didn't focus on enough in yesterday's post was the importance of eating foods you enjoy. If you're eating what you enjoy anyway, it makes it much easier to be consistent! If we choose to choke down things we can't stand as a means to lose weight, but we're miserable in the process, we're less likely to remain consistent. This "eat what you like and nothing you don't" point seems to be an obvious one, but is sometimes overlooked in our pursuit of fast results.

Once again, it was a busy day. I did have a late morning to early afternoon nap in the middle--simply because of two things: We were short handed at work and needed someone from on-air/production to stay late in the afternoon and I was anticipating the weather coverage--which did happen, keeping me up very late. I headed back to work at 1pm and stayed for the 2nd half of my day.

I'm on the board of directors of the arts and humanities council and tonight we were hosting a big concert at the Hutchins Memorial Auditorium. Since I'm the radio guy on the board, I get elected to make announcements before the fabulous concerts. We had a good crowd tonight for the Tulsa Playboys! I kept getting positive reactions about my weight loss. One gentleman approached me after my first time on stage tonight, saying: "Sean, I listen everyday and I remember you when you were at your heaviest. You're looking incredible, man!" That was awesome. 

 I also remember when I was at my heaviest. It's throwback Thursday--Here's a "before" picture from years and years ago!
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I naturally do a better job when I'm feeling confident and I certainly had an abundance of confidence this evening. I was wearing a pull over type shirt with a collar-- no over-shirt. The extra amount of compliments was because I was actually wearing something that fit properly for where I am, today.

I covered some weather at the studio--then took a quick break to run to the YMCA and get my workout in before they closed. I barely made it--but I made it, and although I was struggling some against going, I'm glad I did. It didn't take long to get into the right mindset and groove where I get a dose of energy that pushes me even harder than before. I returned to work post-workout for a while--and now I'm home and headed to bed. Goodnight! Or--if you're reading this Friday morning--Good morning!

 My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and you wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

October 8th, 2014 If Consistency is Key, What Are The Keys To Consistency?

October 8th, 2014 If Consistency is Key, What Are The Keys To Consistency?

I believe we get what we give. The more we put into something, the more we get out of it. I want consistent results, so I give myself extraordinary care, consistently. It isn't always easy. It's certainly not as simple as saying. "I'm going to be consistent from here on out!" Don't we wish it were that easy?

As I analyze the fundamentals of what I've been doing in my recovery mode, I realize I've built a system that works for me. It's a system of accountability, support and open communication. In relapse, two of these three things were non-existent. I shut down my accountability and isolated, I may have communicated some, but not about my struggles. The support was always there, but largely ignored, by my own choosing, so it wasn't effective.

Being consistent during this turnaround from the regain has required me to elevate my accountability. My Twitter feed pictures of everything I eat has been an invaluable accountability tool. I was resistant to the idea at first, fearing it would be a huge hassle. It's actually a complete pleasure and it's inspired me to eat better! I take my time in choosing, preparing and eating my food. I enjoy it more--all because of this twitter feed. I've made it important.

I've recognized and accepted support in many forms. Your readership is support, your comments are support and I've established a list of people I know I can text or call anytime, night or day, if I'm needing someone to talk me through a tough time, or talk me out of a drive-through. I'm loving the relationship Heather and I have developed because it is full of support for one another. She is all about living a lifestyle conducive to weight loss and maintenance and she totally gets me, on so many levels. 

Open and honest communication--basically, the opposite of isolating, is crucial to my consistency. In the dark depths of relapse, nobody knew how bad it had become because I was alone when I did what I was doing with food. It was my secret trip to the ice cream place every night before bed. Nobody knew, not my daughters, mom or anyone close to me. I was consistently in "hiding." Now, if those feelings/compulsions to binge show up--I pick up the phone and reach out for "spot support." Gerri Helms has been there for me on numerous occasions. And I have others who are ready if I need them. And I will, I'm sure--at some point. On the other hand--I'm also available for them, anytime.

Keeping things simple is a major part of the foundation making my consistency possible. I don't get too technical. I don't crunch the numbers or get into confusing plans or patterns. I simply eat as well as I can and desire and I make time for exercise. I have some personal food rules, of course: No sugar, I avoid trigger foods, measuring is very important and proper portion control is a must. I make sure I'm eating things I truly enjoy. And I'm not afraid to be repetitious in my selections, especially with breakfast and lunch. If I get tired of something, I'll naturally shift to other things. If I don't get tired of it and I enjoy it, then what's not good about that?

Simple, simple, simple...It is crucial to maintaining consistency. We're the ones who make the rules--if we keep the rules simple to follow--then our chances of maintaining consistency goes up dramatically. And as we develop along the way--we can get as fancy and as specialized as we want and need, when we're ready. It's a natural evolution of good choices. Not a sudden and dramatic change where we expect to be a completely different person as soon as we wake up on our pre-determined start day.

My focus on consistency isn't long term. It's today. I want to make today a good day. I want to hit the pillow tonight, knowing that I gave it my best shot--my honest to goodness, best. Not perfect, mind you--rather, the best I could do today. I want to do that again tomorrow. It feels good!! We gain momentum in either direction, good or bad. Good choices lead to more of the same and bad choices lead to more bad choices.

Big time accomplishments are not done all at once. It's a collection of much smaller accomplishments, each of which contribute in a positive way to the bigger goal ahead. I'm setting small, doable goals--and hitting them square with everything I can. And I'm getting back some wonderful results in return. You get what you give, it's a universal truth.
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Today was another long and busy day. I made sure to get my workout in early. The later it gets, the less likely I am to get a good workout. The earlier the workout, the better the workout--that's how it is for me, anyway.

Tonight, I stopped in to visit with my daughter Courtney and my grandson Noah. I'm so proud of Courtney. She's doing so well and is such a wonderful mom. She's working hard, taking good care and giving Noah the wonderful attention he deserves. Her job at the Child Development Center is perfect, because Noah goes too, right along with her. She doesn't handle Noah's class--so it's like she's dropping him off at daycare and going to work--and the distance between her work and Noah's care is literally right down the hall.

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I love these two! Adorable!!! (Proud dad and grandfather here!)

My Tweets today:
**Special note: Time stamp on tweets do not always reflect when the food was consumed. I take the photo immediately before consuming. If I'm running late, generally busy or with people, or better, in a meeting like today at lunch, I'll wait to enter the details in MFP and Tweet the tweet.***
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, October 7, 2014

October 7th, 2014 A Long Day

October 7th, 2014 A Long Day

Today was a very long day. I was off work early in order to make a trip to Stillwater to accompany mom to her doctors appointment. We enjoyed lunch together before the appointment at a place called Jimmy's Egg. The portions were big! I cut my entree in half.

Mom's appointment was good news, for the most part. And after taking her back home, I raced back home to accompany Amber to the car dealership where she took delivery of her new car. Irene was with her too and her fiance. It was nice!

I arrived back home just in time for my weekly weight loss support group conference call. I still had dinner and a workout to complete after the call. I quickly threw together dinner, enjoyed it--let it settle a bit, then eventually made it to the trail for a 2.7 mile walk. I planned on the YMCA elliptical tonight, but quickly realized it wasn't an option--too many things came up. The workout was still good and I'll get into the Y tomorrow!

It's late and I must drop in bed. Goodnight!

My Tweets today:












Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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