Tuesday, September 1, 2015

September 1st, 2015 What We Do

September 1st, 2015 What We Do

I was asleep before 10pm last night. It didn't take long. I'll be in bed and asleep early again tonight. The difference in my day was significant. I still hit a tired patch mid-afternoon and it took some mental pushing and keeping in mind my accountability measures to get me into the Y immediately after work.

I exceeded my water goal today. I exercised well on the C25K training and I made the time to prepare some really good food today and tonight. I took extraordinary care. And that felt good.

It did take some adjusting on the fly. My plan for a midday workout (before I started getting tired) fell through when I realized the schedule had me on a location broadcast from 11am to 1pm. My day would be longer than normal.

I participated in several support interactions throughout the day and we had a great Tuesday night conference call support group. Good things are happening! And plenty more good things are on the horizon.

A member of our weight loss support group asked me about how I started this turnaround. What changed--what happened--what was it and how? I found the following excerpt in the archives from January 2nd of this year. It was part of my "2014 year in review."

I started 2014 unable to breathe well at night. My sleep apnea was raging and with my weight gain, I didn't have a machine setting I needed. I didn't have any clothes that fit, so I basically wore the same thing day in and day out. My blood pressure was once again out of control, too. It was getting worse everyday and I was too exhausted to do anything about it.

My turnaround in 2014 started in January, some four months before I actually started seriously making forward progress. I decided the first thing I needed was another sleep lab. I needed it so I could get a CPAP machine with the proper setting for my now larger body. My hesitation to get another sleep lab before this was because I knew, as I lost weight--the machine wouldn't work the same on my changing body. It didn't matter. I had to have one as soon as possible.

Getting back into the proper mindset to make a turnaround wasn't easy for me, at all. It took a lot of prayers, a lot of therapy sessions and a good amount of counsel from Gerri Helms. The biggest question was, what worked before? The list was all things I stopped doing. Then, what elements of my previous success can I bring back? And most importantly--what elements can I add to strengthen my turnaround, giving me the best chance of success?

I committed to return to daily blogging. I set a calorie bank, this time a little higher than before. I committed to reach out for support when needed and offer more support. I committed to exercise regularly once again.

I added some key elements that have made a tremendous difference. I finally reached a point of acceptance with my addiction to sugar and how it was clearly affecting me. A large amount of the regain weight came during what's best described as very driven--completely compelled binge episodes. I honestly felt like I was out of control--like my choices were no longer my own--the addiction was in the drivers seat, and it just kept getting worse.

So I stopped eating sugar. Done. That was a big additional element to my plan. Another major element added was the commitment to Tweet photos of everything I eat with descriptions and calorie counts. I also committed to logging everything in MyFitnessPal. These three additional elements have made a monumental positive impact on me.

I feel like a man on a mission. I'm aiming for a healthy weight, better physical fitness and strength and I'm committed to maintaining the integrity of my plan and holding my continued recovery sacred, always, once I transition into maintenance mode. In other words, my 'weight loss mode' will look very similar to my upcoming 'maintenance mode.' I'm not there yet, but it's coming quick!

What many of us are doing isn't easy. But it gets easier as we go along, finding our groove and honoring our non-negotiable commitments by staying connected in support and amping up our accountability measures. And when the urge to depart from our committed plan comes along, we must turn up our defenses--not turn them off and disconnect. This takes serious practice because it goes against a lifetime pattern of isolating in times of struggle--withdrawing from any measure of accountability and support in order to go it alone and do what we do. And sometimes, do what we seemingly want to do.

But do we really want to continue the merry-go-round of struggle/success/struggle/success/struggle?

Jumping off that ride takes a leap of faith. A good accountability and support plan and the strength to hold on--never giving up and realizing that we don't have to go it alone.

Tomorrow is weigh day. I'm really liking my attitude about weigh day. It truly isn't the defining measure of what I do. The defining measure for me, is found in the sacred level of importance I'm placing on my fundamental elements of recovery. If I continue protecting those elements with every defense measure I can, I'll be fine--regardless of what the scale says tomorrow, next week or next year. 

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

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