Monday, February 15, 2016

February 15th, 2016 Part Of The Practice

February 15th, 2016 Part Of The Practice

The humbling of a one hundred sixty-four pound regain changed me. It changed my perspective in a profound way. It pushed me into depths so deep, definitions embedded in my brain redefined themselves. I was learning the truest meaning of food addiction as it applied to me. And with this clarification, came a sense of real recovery, where I couldn't make sense of it before. Recovery, embraced as a requirement, if I truly wanted things to change.

And in that acceptance and embrace, encouraged by my abstinence from refined sugar, I found a peace and calm. This peace and calm serves as a level foundation. The chaos, uncertainty, inconsistency and insanity seemingly vanished. But I know it's there, in wait, should I ever decide to pull away from the embrace. It's a daily practice. A new day, each day, with the goal of one more.

Integrating this daily practice required the acceptance and embrace. Once I dropped the resistance, I was able to focus on ways to balance my life stream and my fundamental elements of recovery stream. This was the "finding what works for me," part.

These two streams run parallel to one another. The challenge for me is to keep the two streams from crossing. If I allow my life stream to become too big and chaotic, I'm running the risk of it breaking the rhythm of my fundamental elements stream. And if my fundamental elements stream becomes too big and demanding, I'm running the risk of it negatively affecting my life stream.

There's a balance within a groove where the life stream flows in whatever way it will and come what may, the fundamental elements of recovery stream flows nearly uninterrupted. It's never perfect. It's dependent on my choices and their effects, so I must remain aware of my contributions to the instability or stability of both. And it's never guaranteed. It's never a sure thing because if it was, why would we exert the effort? I once made the mistake of viewing it as a sure thing and as a result, I didn't put forth the effort and attention I needed--and we know what happened.

It can take quite a lot of direct support connections and personal-spiritual support connections in order to find the right perspective to keep things flowing smoothly. It's all a part of the practice.  
Today was a great day. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinent from refined sugar, I exceeded my water goal by two cups, I participated in my Monday night support group conference call, I engaged in one on one spot support with a few people and I had a great workout at the YMCA.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,


  1. It is definitely that balance that is the hardest part to get right. My work really overtakes my weight loss (and especially my exercise) so often and it really gets to me. Hopefully one day, I will find my zen.

    1. Airlie, the important thing is to not give up. You'll find your balance. It's a very personal exploration. Keep exploring!


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