Monday, November 10, 2014

November 10th, 2014 Mining Important Lessons

November 10th, 2014 Mining Important Lessons

One of the greatest benefits of losing weight then regaining, then losing again, is going back and mining all of the important lessons learned along the previous trip. Even if the insight wasn't fully appreciated or even applied back then, it can be picked up and made useful today.

Since crossing the 100 pound barrier on my last weigh-in, I know that this is the time when things can become routine and kind of boring. This is when it's important to mix it up, get creative and maintain momentum. Mixing it up can be tricky, because we don't want to mix it up too much, for fear of becoming unbalanced. Mixing it up, just enough for a little different feel and stride, can be all the spice it needs.

For me, mixing it up--or freshening up my approach, will mean a stronger focus on strength training. I'll not write too much more on that topic until I have some experience in doing, instead of talking. And it will mean trying new foods and different preparations, basically--stepping up the fun in the kitchen!

Making this journey enjoyable is a HUGE element for success. Believe me, if I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't be doing it consistently. I remember times in my distant past when losing weight had to be something hard and not fun at all. I would choose methods and routines so far removed from any shred of joy, but I had convinced myself, if I wanted to lose weight, this is what I needed to do. I wasn't trying to develop things I could live with for life, I was doing dreadful things for short periods of time and hoping to have some success before returning to my natural habits and inclinations that put me over 500 pounds in the first place.

Making this journey something to get excited about, something of a joyful experience, has been a perspective and approach I've made important.  The toughest thing comes at first--when the idea of simply cutting down and moving more feels like a threat against nature and in no way sounds like it could be enjoyable in any way, shape or form. I get it. I've been there. I know what that feels like. For me, The reason it felt that way was because for so many years, I made food everything in my world. Feeling sad? Eat. Feeling anxious? Eat. Feeling angry? Eat. Stressed? Eat!! Feeling happy? Feast!!

I realized the fear wasn't about the food, necessarily--it was actually the fear of what breaking the emotional dependency on food would mean and the uncertainty of how I would handle life without using a fork like an emotional crutch.

Untangling the truth amid a cloud of dysfunctional behavior isn't an easy thing to do. But the truth is, abusing food never really helped me solve anything. It simply distracted me for a little while. I wasn't actually dealing with the issues driving me to eat--I was simply eating, instead of dealing--and the food was good; a delicious distraction from the realities of life.

It takes a huge amount of faith to have these issues and despite it all, do the things that in many ways feel counter-intuitive. But if the approach is something doable, something enjoyable--and relatively simple--and all within a one day at a time approach, it becomes clear quickly--this is possible and my world isn't coming to an end without all the excess. 

And things start to improve--not only because of the weight loss. Suddenly we're dealing with feelings and things we've avoided. We're allowing ourselves to feel again--and now the strength we need to face these things is drawn from how good we feel in our positive momentum. And it's then, in those moments--when we realize how it's coming together--that we're ripe for all kinds of epiphanies. 

We're stronger than we ever imagined. We're powerful. We're capable of amazing things. And one of the biggest realizations of all--and one of the hardest to believe: We're worthy and we deserve it. I deserve to feel good. You deserve to feel good. It's okay to be happy, it's okay to choose to be happy. It's inside us all along. It's okay to tap it and feel better. And then, at some point--I believe we conclude...

The physical part of this journey--the physical transformation, is fun and important for our health and well being, yes--but still, in my opinion, is the least dramatic of all. The mental and emotional transformation is by far the biggest and most powerful.
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I had a great day today, capped with a late visit and dinner with mom. Before dinner, mom and I made our way into a clothing store. I was searching for a coat. I really didn't want to spend the money on a coat that will be too big in the next few months--and it turns out I didn't need to. A colleague of mine has a nearly new coat they no longer need and they're gifting it to me tomorrow! I took the call right there in the coat section of the department store. So instead of a coat, I grabbed a few shirts that were drastically reduced and another warm pullover I found on sale.

I also looked for some jeans in a smaller size, but the big and tall section didn't have the size I needed--everything was too big!!! That was a nice realization. I was wondering why I couldn't find the size I needed--and suddenly it dawned--oh, because apparently I can find the size I need in the regular section. Well, if that don't beat all--as my grandpa once said.

Mom and I enjoyed a good dinner and conversation before I turned around, grabbed an iced coffee for the drive back, and headed home.

My Tweets Today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, November 9, 2014

November 9th, 2014 I'm All About That Bass, No Trouble

November 9th, 2014 I'm All About That Bass, No Trouble

Finding the rhythm of this journey is nice. I know I've found my rhythm when I can have life hand me a stressful/emotional situation and I can handle it without sacrificing the integrity of my plan. It goes back to the philosophy about the plan running "in the background" while life happens in the foreground.

As long as they run parallel to one another, then neither life or the food and exercise plan get in the other's way. If I choose to not handle life--and I relegate it to the background, there's horrible consequences--and if I allow the plan to run in the foreground, it will undoubtedly get in the way of life.

It's a rhythm and a balance we find, different for each of us, and imperative for success.

For me, it's a bass line playing in the background. It's smooth and calm, it's wholesome and fun, it's rhythmic and constant, there to remind me why it's important for me to keep the rhythm.

Because I could easily get out of rhythm, out of sync. Oh yes, I could totally start moving to a different rhythm. And when I start to get out of rhythm is when I must turn up the volume of the bass line--letting it thump, and jumping back in sync. 

Turning up the volume might mean reaching out for support a little more than I already do, it might mean getting out and into some good exercise, and it might mean preparing a good, calorie friendly meal at home. Today, I...

...made three meals at home. I exercised well. I reached out for support. Yep, I turned up the volume, slightly. 

I pay close attention to the bass line rhythm of my plan and I follow it come what may. Instead of abandoning the rhythm when things in the foreground get challenging, I embrace the rhythm a little more. I dance a little closer, a little tighter and I find peace and comfort. I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no trouble. ;)

I had some mushrooms and sirloin tip steak that really needed to be cooked today, so I made them fit into lunch and dinner. Oh my goodness, these two dishes were over the top good!! I get excited when I get creative in the kitchen! See the tweets below!

I had a great exercise weekend! I did a nice 5K yesterday and another tonight. Two days, two 5K's--and I feel fantastic. 

I'm headed to bed tonight with 1,690 calories consumed, 432 calories burned during my 5K--and my net calories after exercise at 1,258. To me, that's staying in the groove and keeping the rhythm quite nicely.

My Tweets Today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, November 8, 2014

November 8th, 2014 Letting The Tweets Tell

November 8th, 2014 Letting The Tweets Tell

I'm letting the Tweets tell the tale tonight. It's late. Goodnight!

My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Friday, November 7, 2014

November 7th, 2014 I'll Take It and Love It

November 7th, 2014 I'll Take It and Love It

It was a fairly busy Friday in my world. I put in a good long day and then prepared to make the trip to see Heather. I'm off tomorrow, completely, so I plan on enjoying the time. We're about to get into the busiest season of the year for broadcasting and advertising/marketing in general, so any time I can enjoy a weekend off, I'll take it and love it!

I tried something different for lunch today. I cooked a super lean hamburger steak and grilled squash in the employee kitchen, using a hot plate, a small oven and a Foreman Grill. Our entire upstairs office space smelled like a diner. The office of the owner is right next to the kitchen--and I'm pretty sure he'll be developing a list of acceptable items to cook. It smelled great, just didn't smell like a radio station. It'll be back to the more aroma friendly tostadas on Monday! (I LOVE the tostadas, so I'm not complaining.)

I had too many errands to run and things to finish before leaving town, so at some point I decided this would be a rest day. And I'm totally fine with this!  I'll be sure to get a couple of workouts in this weekend.

Heather made chicken tortilla soup tonight. It was absolutely delicious! We watched a couple of movies and simply relaxed. I feel good, very good.
 
My Tweets today:


















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Thursday, November 6, 2014

November 6th, 2014 It Isn't Willpower

November 6th, 2014 It Isn't Willpower

After reading about the big bunch of sweets delivered to our studio earlier this week, a colleague commented, "I don't know how you maintain such strong willpower." I didn't have time to properly explain to her, how this isn't about willpower. Because the truth is, I rarely use willpower.

Willpower is exercised when we're desperately trying to avoid something we truly want and crave. We will ourselves against it in whatever way we can, but we still want it, horribly so. 

When I step back and look at all the good giving up sugar has given me, the sweets lose their appeal. When I focus on the clarity and peace of mind I'm experiencing, I wouldn't trade it for all the pecan pie in the world. So, with this perspective firmly in focus...

The sweets just do not have the same attraction as when I was under the influence and blindly living in denial of my own addiction. Back then, I was convinced I could handle moderation for all things. Now that the opposite has been confirmed so strongly, the allure just isn't there. I look at a cookie and I don't see the ingredients of a delicious recipe. I look at a cookie and I see the ingredients for chaos and havoc in my life. One bite and it's all over, until I can somehow, by the grace of God, find recovery again. Looking at sugar in this way, makes it one of the most unappealing things to me. It took finally embracing my own truth to get to this place. Once I believed, embraced and started living it, this change in perspective was like flipping a switch.

This doesn't mean I'm beyond relapse. Not at all. I'm still very susceptible to the same struggles I've faced countless times before. I'm never "in the clear," so to speak. This is why I must give the things I consistently do each day an incredible amount of consideration and importance level. I must always remain on guard and be willing to step outside of my "affected self," and call it like it is. And that can be the toughest thing along this road--the getting real part, the self-honesty. It is clearly the most important element.

I've written about it before--and it's so true: I really wanted to be someone who could eat "just one bite." But that was someone else's normal, not mine. My good friend and weight loss support group conference call partner, Life Coach Gerri Helms, recently posted a wonderful blog page all about the "just one bite" dynamic. You can read it here: http://lifecoachgerri.com/2014/11/05/coaching-from-the-coach-interfering-with-intuition/

My Tweets today:














Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Wednesday, November 5, 2014

November 5th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

November 5th, 2014 Weigh Day Edition

I honestly didn't know what to expect today. I know my food has been and continues to be on plan and consistent, so that was working in my favor. My uncertainty was in the exercise department. Up until this three week period, I would allow one rest day per week. The past three weeks it's been more. Perhaps I'm being a little hard on myself, after all--some of the busy days where I didn't do an intentional workout, I was up, out and about--moving and exercising naturally. And that obviously counts. I was very pleased to step on my doctor's office scale today and find this number staring back at me:
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This represents another 8 pounds down over the last three weeks. I crossed over the 100 pounds barrier, too, bringing my 28 week total to 105 pounds. I'm now only 59 pounds from being back at what I once considered my healthiest weight. I don't know if it will be my healthiest weight this time. I'm starting to do strength training and this could affect what my healthiest weight will be someday. It doesn't matter to me. To be fit at a healthy weight, that's my goal--whatever that turns out to be, who knows?

My good friend, Jon Ludtke in Wisconsin, shared with me a fabulous perspective. He said, "We're spending a short amount of time getting to a healthy weight as compared to the years we hope to stay at a healthy weight." This perspective reminds me to not get impatient and to just take the best care possible with my food, exercise and abstinence from sugar, one day at a time--and allow time to do its thing. It reminds me the most important and truest test will be maintaining, not getting to a certain number. There isn't a "finish line." I'm not doing what I do each day as a temporary means to an end. I'm training to make taking extraordinary care a way of life, the rest of my life.

I fully expect a slow down or dare I say a "plateau" one of these weigh days. When that time comes, I'll need to lean on support to handle it mentally and make some adjustments to handle it physically.

I must tell you, doing this--for me, requires a lot of commitment. If I wasn't fully committed to logging everything in MyFitnessPal and Tweeting everything I eat, everyday--as I have for the past 28 weeks--I likely wouldn't be experiencing this success right now. If I didn't make reaching out for support important and maintaining this blog on a daily basis a personal requirement, I cannot say I would still be going strong. If I somehow started believing I was invincible and had it all figured out-- I would once again be humbled, and quickly, with a monumental fall. 

I interviewed Charlie Daniels on my show Monday morning. I asked him if he ever gets tired of playing his biggest hits (I know--very softball question) and his reply was wonderful. He said, "I don't get tired of them because I've never once played them perfect. It's a challenge each night and each night I try to play it better than the night before."  

Echoing this living legend's philosophy and practice: I'm not perfect along this road and I wouldn't ever want to be. That would be boring, unrealistic and I would tire easily along the way. Each day is a challenge and my goal is to try my best to do better than the day before. I'll not hit it some days and that's okay, as long as I never give up. I must always keep an open mind, allowing myself to learn and grow as I go. This approach brings me a level of peace and happiness I didn't have before.  

My Tweets today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Tuesday, November 4, 2014

November 4th, 2014 One Day Doesn't Define The Whole

November 4th, 2014 One Day Doesn't Define The Whole

Yesterday was a victory for me and today, it empowered me to do very well. The box of sweets were still on the table at work--and I didn't give them a second glance. Big difference from yesterday.

I took time and care in preparing a wonderful meal tonight before my weight loss support conference call. The dinner was excellent, the call was exceptional and I feel stronger than I was before.

This entire journey is full of ups and downs, highs and lows--and some of the biggest challenges I've discovered involves learning to ride the waves with a level perspective that includes a healthy dose of self compassion, self honesty, love and grace. This journey is one day at a time, certainly, yet I constantly need to remind myself that one day doesn't define the whole.

I've struggled horribly with exercise the last few weeks. I've had some good days too, but I've also had too many rest days. My food feels as solid as ever as I write these words. My exercise feels like I've let myself down lately.

Weigh day is in the morning at the doctor's office. If all goes well, I'll cross over the 100 pounds lost mark. This will be my 28 week weigh in.  I look forward to sharing the results with you via Facebook, Twitter and right here tomorrow night.

My Tweets Today:




















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Monday, November 3, 2014

November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

November 3rd, 2014 The Big Box of Temptation

The freedom I've experienced since becoming abstinent from sugar has been and continues to be one of the most incredible confirmations of my life. Before giving it an honest try, all I had to go on was the stories from others who had gone before me, some with ten, twenty and even 27 years abstinence behind their experiences. It is definitely one of those things where you can't fully understand what they're talking about until you give it an honest attempt. Until then, it's like an addict in successful recovery talking to someone who's high as a kite on the substance. Back then, actively under the influence, it didn't allow the full power to sink into my brain, because my brain was fairly occupied!

And the tests come on a semi-regular basis. Halloween wasn't too bad, actually. But today--oh my...that's another story! It started with an in-studio guest bringing cinnamon rolls for studio staff this morning. No prob, I thought. Then--a couple of hours later, a very nice lady gifted our studio staff with an entire box of freshly baked sugary items. We're talking pies, cookies, more pies--different cookies--and who knows what else? It was a very nice gesture in appreciation of our support and announcements for their fall bake sale fundraiser.

A colleague took the box upstairs and left it on the break table for anyone to enjoy. It was a bit overwhelming. I felt a twinge of self-doubt. The cookies looked like the best cookies I had ever laid eyes on--ever, in my life. I was having some not so good thoughts. I tweeted pictures of the cinnamon roll and later, the box of goodies--as a way of sharing the situation. Doing this took some of the power away from it. Then, I quickly decided I needed to prepare and enjoy my lunch.

I made my way into the kitchen and realized I was out of most everything in my studio stash of lunch items. That's not a good deal when I have a box of craziness mere steps away!! I calmly improvised a lunch with what I had available and sat down at the table, eating my lunch while the box of goodies made its home at the other end.

I made it through lunch okay. I was fine until a couple of hours later when I walked by the box. I stopped and lovingly gazed at the items, knowing the consequences would be devastating if I caved, but still feeling compelled. My brain tried to rationalize just one, just one little cookie--but I couldn't do it. There wasn't a good rationalization to let me off the hook on this one. I was one cookie away, one crazy thought from injecting my brain with the substance I know alters my life in dramatic ways. It doesn't for everyone, but without a doubt, it does for me.

It's interesting, really--this whole dynamic, and how the cinnamon roll didn't bother me, but the entire box of goodies did mess with my mind. In the end, I made it unscathed. I couldn't do it. I could not bring myself to even touch one of these items. I wanted to so bad. I was ready to tear into that box with reckless abandon. But now that I know and have 100% confirmed what sugar does for me--I had to walk away. I've been and continue to be binge free for nearly 7 months. I don't even have urges to binge and I know it's thanks to my abstinence from sugar. My brain isn't under the influence. And that's where I hope and pray it remains for the rest of my life, clear of the fog--clear of the insanity.

I watched the intro video to P90X3 tonight, then made my way through what was basically a slightly improvised and modified home workout. I did some additional squats (feeling it) too--and I can clearly see why this workout plan is so incredible.

I sat down to write this blog and the internet was moving too slow to do anything. It's a rare situation--but finally I gave up and went to bed with the hopes it would be fixed by early morning, and it was!!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your wonderful support,
Strength,
Sean
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Sunday, November 2, 2014

November 2nd, 2014 The Family Visit

November 2nd, 2014 The Family Visit

I enjoyed not setting an alarm as I hit the pillow early this morning. I almost typed "last night," but really--it was this morning a little after 3am--and it felt like a little after 4am because of the time change. I slept almost seven hours and it seemed to work for me. I can't even begin to formulate the words worthy of expressing the level of gratitude I have for good sleep. After going through my sleep apnea experiences, to now be free of them, is incredible. Of course--it could come back--that's a very real possibility, but for now, I'll give thanks for the blessing of quality sleep.

The plan for today included a trip to my hometown for a birthday get together and visit with my aunt and uncle who are visiting from Michigan. It's been a year and a half since I've had the chance to visit with them. Okay--that's not entirely true. I had an entire week a year ago to make the short trip to Stillwater for a visit, but I didn't want them to see me in my condition at that time. When I told my uncle how bad it was before turning this ship around, he commented "That's why you didn't make it down to see me last year, because of your weight gain." Yep. Uncle Sig is a very smart man.

It was a good family visit. Aunt and Uncle got to meet Noah for the first time, and he stole their hearts, as expected!! And as he does with everyone!

Uncle Sig isn't familiar with what I do these days--so when he noticed me snapping a photo of my food he immediately called me crazy. Aunt Jean corrected him quickly as I smiled at the comment. It honestly doesn't bother me one bit to be called "crazy" or "obsessive" or whatever--what I do is working for me very well! I explained to him how everything I've consumed in almost 7 months is photographed, calorie counted and tweeted--and available to see on my Twitter page. It might be considered "extreme" to some, but I make it fun and enjoyable. AND--it's had a monumental positive effect on my food selections, not to mention the care I take in preparing what I enjoy eating. It's not for everyone, that's for sure--but for me, it's crazy brilliant.

It was a good visit--and not just because I've lost a lot of weight this year. That was a part of it, I'm sure--I mean, how could it not be? I avoided them last year because of my weight gain and how I allowed the gain to make me feel. But now, so many changes have happened and I feel great about me regardless of my weight. It truly comes shining through in all I say and do.

My favorite part of the trip was riding in the backseat of Amber's car with Noah. We had a wonderful conversation of jibberish on the way back. I love that little guy. We started playing "Make this sound" and he's really good at this game!

My Tweets today:
















Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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Saturday, November 1, 2014

November 1st, 2014 Zombie Sean

November 1st, 2014 Zombie Sean

I've had a very good day. It all started with a morning cup of coffee with Heather and then the two of us enjoyed breakfast at one of our favorite places in her area. It's a place where it's easy to navigate the menu. Places like this automatically become one of my favorites because there isn't a worry about whether or not I'll find something that fits my criteria for a meal. It must be sugar free and a decent calorie value. 

I headed home early afternoon in time to get ready for my big event tonight, including making a trip to the makeup artist at a salon and spa for my zombie makeup. The event tonight included a three hour broadcast. It was a six hour event that included me as one of the judges of a huge costume contest. I loved the makeup job!! My zombie getup received rave reviews all night. Even as a zombie, I felt so alive!
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It was after 2am when I finally arrived home. Then I realized I could fall back an hour because of our time change and that helped, although I'm still exhausted. Who knew being a member of the walking dead could be so exhausting?

I haven't dressed up in costume in 30 years. The last time was 1984 and I was 13 years old. It turned out to be a really fun experience. Now, I've got to scrub this stuff off my face and neck. This should be fun!

My dinner at the event was planned several days in advance. There was a bunch of free food on display--but instead of going through the buffet line, I enjoyed a specific dinner. I sincerely appreciated this perk of being a judge.

One of the highlights of the evening for me was Amber and some of her friends coming out for the event. Amber and I jumped in the photo-booth:
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I tried on my old jacket today--the one I'm wearing on my book cover, and I could wear it again and totally zip it up! (see NSV Tweet below)It was certainly a non-scale victory deluxe!! It really felt good to get back into that jacket. It's not loose like it was back then--but still, I zipped it up! A new jacket is in order for me very soon!

I didn't intentionally exercise today. Fitbit still gave me a 327 calorie adjustment based on my activity. That's a pretty good burn without doing it intentionally. I'll take it and I'll get back to the Y tomorrow. Or, uh--later today, actually. It's almost 3am! I better get to sleep.

My Tweets Today:


















Thank you for reading and for your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
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