Day 105 The Amazing Pie Diet

Day 105

The Amazing Pie Diet

My new iPod Nano rocks! It's so small and so far I have 30 songs. I'll add more, in fact I have some new songs to add after the great suggestions from Dana, Rach, and Deb, thanks guys! Some of my favorite songs are not exactly workout songs, but I'll figure out how to make a playlist exclusively for working out. I need to read the instruction manual. I had my iPod on while I shopped at Wal-Mart tonight. It was great, I was in my own little world rockin' out to the Red Hot Chili Peppers while the regular world went on without me. I just hope I didn't start singing out loud while I shopped. I don't think I did. Usually people who listen to their mp3 player at the store or anywhere else out in public, except the gym of course, annoys me. But I totally get it now. It's a mood adjuster. When I'm listening to my favorite songs, I feel great. I feel like I can do anything. I love music, can you tell?

I'm really starting to notice some profound differences in my body size. Driving Irene's little car is a breeze. Before it was always so unbelievably cramped and actually a hazardous thing for me to do. When simply breathing can cause you to accidentally turn the wheel, you're way too big for the vehicle. But it's so easy now. In fact, Irene and I have agreed to switch vehicles. As soon as our van is ready from the shop it'll become Irene's primary vehicle, and I'll have her little car. I think it's a great idea. We'll of course use the van on family outings, and I'll drive it occasionally, but my day to day vehicle will be the little red Grand Am GT. I use to dread the thought of squeezing into that thing, but not now. So it's all good! And it'll just keep getting better!!

I had pumpkin pie for breakfast again today. I know it must sound horrible, but 1/6 of the pie is 280, but we cut the pie in eight pieces, making each slice 210. I usually cut that down a little to make it under 200, then make it two hundred with a dollop of Cool-Whip. The thing about this is, we never have pie around the house except for this time of year. When this pie is gone, it'll be Thanksgiving 2009 when I encounter another pie. For a late lunch we dined out with my mom at one of her favorite places in Ponca, El Potrillo. It took some convincing for Amber and Courtney, they're not real big fans, but Irene and I love it too. I went a little nuts on the chips. I'd planned on allowing 200 calories for chips, I ended up doubling that. I had the calories, but after dinner tonight I have exactly zero left. No late night snack for me! As i sit down to write my blog, I noticed someone left a Little Debbie Fancy Cake by the computer! I've never looked up the calories in these little cakes, but my calorie radar says they're loaded, so I avoid them. I'll have to look and see, but even if that little cake is 10 calories, it's still too much for me tonight. I threw it across the room to the table where everyone was sitting. I didn't want that Fancy Cake sitting there staring at me the whole time I write my blog. I know good and well that my choices have consequences. I chose to eat 400 calories worth of chips and salsa, and my consequence is not having enough calories left over to enjoy even a 70 calorie Dream Bar after I finish writing. Some might say, “Sean, come on man, you're doing great, a 70 calorie Dream Bar isn't going to hurt you!” Maybe not, but it would hurt me psychologically. I'm really strict about my calories. I can't “fudge” them even a little. Because if I do, then eventually I'll get carried away with it, basically I don't trust myself with food. I've been a food addict way too long. I know how it works. If I give myself a little extra, soon I'm finishing off the rest of that pie in the fridge. I'll have a Dream Bar in the morning on my way to work, there, that'll hold me. I really must sound like a nut case sometimes. But seriously, I haven't made it to day 105 by being soft on my calorie limits. I have to stick to the plan of 1500. When I get to around 300, and I'm working out like a recruit in boot camp, then maybe I'll add some calories to my daily limit, but until then it's 1500 with only two exceptions, and as of Friday, those exceptions are not coming around again for 11 months.

I'm really excited about my new appearance that is slowly emerging as the weeks go by. It's such a gradual change, and I'm such an impatient person, so it gets frustrating sometimes, but I know it's definitely worth the wait. I was in a public restroom the other day looking at myself in the mirror. I was giving my body a real long look. The other guys in there probably thought I was full of myself or a little nuts, and I wasn't going to explain anything to them. I don't talk to people in the restroom unless I know them personally, even then not too much. I'm in there to take care of business, and here lately to look at my gradually changing appearance. It's fun! I'm slowly becoming what I've always wanted to be. And at the same time, I'm still me inside. In fact, I think that losing weight just enhances my natural personality. So for the couple of people that have said “Just don't let it change you in a bad way”--No problem. I'm too upbeat and positive for it to change me in any bad way. It just makes me feel good to notice the changes that are taking over my body. Losing weight is simple, getting your head in the right place to succeed at losing weight is another story all together. It's not the losing weight part that's hard at all, it's the mind-set part. Because once you make up your mind, you can do anything!

I'll be testing that theory on Friday when I lay down the cigarettes for good. And I couldn't have picked a better day (I'm being sarcastic) It's a Friday, we're traveling to Tulsa that day, and it's a weekend. But, it's the day I picked, and I'm sticking to it. I don't expect it to be easy, but I have to do it. I may go back to drinking coffee though. Yeah, that's it, I'll trade cigarettes for coffee. No, no, no. I'm not going to start trading one habit for the other. Anyway, I expect a full on battle with my nicotine addiction, but one that will definitely be worth it in the long run. I can't continue getting healthy weight wise and ignore my smoking habit. It's too contradictory. If getting healthy is my ultimate goal, then it's pretty simple: The cigarettes have to go now. Well, not now, oh no...I'm smoking like a chimney until Thursday night at midnight. I'm kidding, not a chimney, but maybe a burning toaster. I'm horrible sometimes. Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean