Day 107 Little Whiny Excuses No More!

Day 107

Little Whiny Excuses No More!

I really enjoyed talking to my Dad today. That was good. Real good. We exchanged e-mails and cell numbers and we agreed we needed to stay in touch. Now I'd like to meet my brothers Daniel and Chris. We'll see how that turns out. It's really a necessary thing for me. I'm not real big on dramatics, and this certainly has the potential for being over-dramatic, but I just wanted to feel some wholeness when it comes to that side of me. And I'm getting that. What does this have to do with losing weight? Having that contact makes me feel good, and when I feel good, I do good. Could I lose the weight without ever contacting my Dad and siblings? Sure, I'm doing it everyday, but I just feel better after reaching out for that contact.

I've been teetering on sickness all day. I think we ate something bad around here. Amber had it first, then KL, now I've had that “I'm gonna be sick” feeling most of the day. I still have some calories remaining, about 80, but I don't plan on having anything else tonight. We've had a little get together tonight and I watched the Holiday Bowl with KL. What a disappointing game for us Cowboy fans. We'll look forward to next season like good Cowboy fans will. I had trouble calculating the calories of Rotel and Velveeta cheese dip. I just over estimated and went on. I know I didn't have 400 calories worth, but that's what I counted. It's very rare that I'm stumped over a calorie count, but occasionally it happens, and when it does, I just over estimate.

I'm really disappointed in my workout performance of late. Since the 5k on Christmas Day, I've only worked out once. Of course I had the blister on my heel and today I've been feeling really sick. I really hate excuses. They're both valid excuses, but not really when you get right down to it. Feeling sick shouldn't stop me from getting in the floor and doing the exercises that have been suggested by family and friends. Am I being lazy? Is it the Holiday's wearing me down? I've navigated all of the scrumptious food without tripping, but my workout schedule is horribly lacking. I know that 7 pounds is a good two week loss, but at this weight, I know I'm capable of a little more. I also know what it takes to get there. I've got to move, I've got to do whatever I need to do to protect myself from blisters and unless I'm uncontrollably heaving, I need to have my behind out there working it. If this sounds like I'm scolding myself, I am. My head is actually tilted down in shame. How dare I use the weak “I don't feel good” excuse for not working out. You know I have a good mind to make myself go out and walk a couple of miles this late. I'm doing great calorie wise, but my workouts have fallen short of the commitment to which I've dedicated myself. The blister is healed now...I still feel a little sick, maybe a good nights rest will fix it, and tomorrow if I don't blog about the best darn workout ever I've had at the YMCA, then someone close needs to come over here and kick my butt in person.

It's like a football team leading by a few touchdowns going into the 3rd quarter, so they start making careless mistakes. Their over confidence, cockiness, eventually loses them the game, or they still win, but by a very short margin. I think that's what's been happening here. 82 Pounds so far is a great start, but I can't allow myself to get comfy and cocky. I can't allow myself to relax and cruise into 5 to 7 pound weigh days, when I know at over 400 pounds, I can easily lose 8 to 12 every two weeks, at least until around 320 or so. It might tighten up and slow at that point. But if I don't lose at least 8, then I don't think I'm doing all I can do. And I don't like that feeling. I must refuse the lure of that line. You know the line I'm talking about....The libe of least resistance. I've talked about that before. Sometimes we naturally look for that line. For me, that line is the place where I can still lose weight at a comfortable pace, without exerting much effort. That line needs to be ignored at all cost. I must reach for something higher, something I know I'm capable of doing. Maybe I need to call Shane at the YMCA tomorrow. I think I will. He's the director at the YMCA, I've talked about him before running past our house. We're on his running path. He's in fine shape, as you would expect. And I don't think he'll buy my little “I don't feeeeeel good” excuse. I bet I can get some words out of him that'll fire me up. He's already said that if I don't stick to it and see it all the way through this time, he's coming after me. I wouldn't want that! I better get some needed rest and get over this queezy feeling stuff, because I see a really intense workout in my immediate future. Good night and...

Good Choices,
Sean