Today was interesting. I gave in to the very way of thinking I've encouraged others against. I weighed today and found a seven pound loss for the last three weeks. This brings the total to 58 pounds in the last thirteen weeks, an average of almost four and half pounds a week. How in the world could I ever complain about this?? I did my best to be positive as I shared the number on social media, but inside I was struggling with misaligned expectations. I know better than this way of thinking!! I should be grateful. I'm headed in a wonderful direction. I'm doing well. Why would I choose to be anything but elated?
It happens when expectations are bigger than reality. I know better than to play this game. Life Coach Gerri says "expectations are premeditated resentments," and she's right. What could it have registered for me to feel justly rewarded for my efforts? Ten or twelve pounds? I don't even know. All I know is, I stepped on the scale and found 336.2 staring back at me and it didn't feel right. Gerri countered with a short and sweet reply, "Get your euphoria from a healthy lifestyle, not from a number on the scale."
Here's where I am: My reaction was ridiculous. Not only did I have the reaction, I then proceeded to beat myself up for having the reaction in the first place. Seriously?? How dare I get upset with a seven pound loss! Then it was, how dare I get upset with me for getting upset about what I was upset about? It didn't help that today was an exceptionally long work day. It started at 6am and ended at 8:15pm. And I likely wasn't as rested as I needed to be for a day like today.
I realized my plans to attend spin class wasn't even an option with two location broadcasts scheduled from 4pm-8:15pm. I was also giving myself a mental beat down for not being as attentive to my schedule and missing all three spinning class opportunities this week.
I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to go to bed and allow this day to be done. I did okay with food today and made the last minute decision tonight to take a day off from the Y. My plan was to have dinner and then workout. It really should have been the other way around. After dinner, I was effectively done.
Patience and consistency are two things crucial to this journey. I'll check mine thoroughly, regroup and be okay.
My meal tweets today:
Guacamole omelet (avocado 133g), light sour cream (15g), sliced mushrooms, yellow apple. 444 cal. #bigbreakfast pic.twitter.com/ogwhmEx2EU
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 23, 2014
Turkey and swiss on a Joseph's pita, dry grilled on the Foreman. Strawberries (115g) and two small pears. 436 cal. pic.twitter.com/4mkQBcv7lG
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 23, 2014
Hawaiian Tacos. No chips, no rice, no beans, no cheese. Grilled chicken, steak & shrimp w/lettuce & sour cream. 566 C pic.twitter.com/MZKQUpycO0
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 24, 2014
Today was a day for lessons about patience, consistency and gratitude.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
I think you're doing great! Still on the way down. And don't beat yourself up about beating yourself up about not losing enough. That way lies madness.
ReplyDeleteMadness!!!!!
Madnesss ha ha ha!!!!
Sean, I think you are doing an applause-worthy job of being consistent with those daily good choices, even in the face of birthday parties at buffet restaurants, extra long work days, messed up sleep schedules, fish fries in the office, and bartenders offering to spike your coffee. : )
ReplyDeleteI know that in the past you've had some bigger losses, but 2+ pounds a week is a lot, and will add up quickly. It's also considered to be the maximum amount a person should lose per week.
Maybe a down side of weighing only every 3 weeks is that it becomes such a big event then. What if, just a day or two before the weigh-in, you had a bit too much salt? Then you get a somewhat inaccurate reading that you believe is the result of the whole 3 weeks. The advantage of weighing weekly is that it allows a fresh start every week, and isn't quite as much of an "event." It allows a person to say, "Well, the number wasn't so good this week, but next week it may well be better." Delayed gratification isn't always a good thing! Maybe you should weigh again next Wednesday?
Glad this old way of thinking just TRIED to come back and take over... but you applied what you've learned and overcame it without having to use food to get by. It wasn't an easy day but you were 100% successful, Sean. I don't think you will be to the point that you don't have struggles and old tapes playing in your mind...but you know what to do, and you did it, and it worked. :) What an example for all of us for how to LIVE this new way of life, a day at a time. I am hoping that you will keep getting good, quality sleep as a priority, Sean. I know the spinning class and working out and all these other things are important, but you have a sleep disorder, and need to keep your rest at the top of your TO DO list...so you can have the energy and clear-thinking to accomplish what is in front of you each day. Please take care of yourself Sean. You are important to all of us. Great weight loss and more than that, what you have put into your body these last 3 weeks are not empty calories that brought about pounds coming off, but have nourished and FED your body what it needs to function and to heal. Thanks for your example. Shirley from TN
ReplyDeleteThere is a fine, fine line between not enough and too much and I call it sanity. When I got on the scale and I lost 1,3,6 pounds. . . .I wanted more. When I got on the scale and I lost MORE than I thought possible and was euphoric.When I got on the scale the next time after that and lost still MORE than I thought possible I was afraid it meant I was dying of something and went out of my way to put back on a pound or two to prove to myself I wasn't dying. . . . you can guess what insanity this lead me to live.
ReplyDeleteWhen I get on the scale on August 1st I expect nothing more than a number that I will write down and share where appropriate. I have my euphoria in knowing that I am doing my very best everyday to eat right for my physical, emotional and spiritual sobriety, to move my body with purpose and to live a happy and healthy life. Having my food integrity again has made this possible.
After a week of making really good food choices....yesterday wasn't so good. But as you said on FB, it's isn't like we've got a point where we're going to be "DONE." Nope! So when we have a good day we can be proud and when we have a not so good day, we just say, "We'll do better tomorrow." It's most important to concentrate on today, because sometimes if I think that I have to do this forever, it is a little overwhelming. But I can do this for TODAY!
ReplyDeleteDupster-- am I misunderstanding, or are you saying that Sean didn't do well with his food choices yesterday? His food choices looked excellent to me. The issue is more about the emotional response to the scale (that we ALL face).
ReplyDeleteI'm reading lots of excuses for skipping workouts.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous... I'm reading a lot of hard judgment for someone who doesn't even have the courage to leave their name.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE what Geri says - "Get your euphoria from living a healthy lifestyle, not from a number on the scale". I will take that to heart. I didn't even have to pay her - thanks Sean! ha ha
ReplyDeleteIt's ironic that we have to remind ourselves to be happy about the scale going down. You know, it could be going up a lot faster! I lost 80 lbs in exactly 8 months last time around and it felt textbook. This time, it's much slower but I'm choosing to believe that it means I'll keep it off this time! Celebrate every day you're not overeating Sean! You are far more than a number and you are a winning loser!
For those of you that exercise regularly, do you feel that it's sped up your weight loss? I haven't exercised much at all (okay, truthfull, not at all... in fact, I sit all day) and have still managed to lose weight just fine. Have read in several places that weight loss is 80 % what you eat and maybe 20% exercise. Does that seem right to you all? It seems right to me. Of course, as the weight goes down and I don't have as much back pain and hip pain from being obese, I do plan to get up and move a lot more, just for health's sake.
ReplyDeleteThat's a solid weigh-in my friend. You're doing fine.
ReplyDeleteKeep taking things one day at a time, one good decision at a time. We all have off weeks when the schedule, tiredness, or unexpected events crop up. No one expects you to be perfect, except maybe you?
Great results. And better insights. we are all just human and not perfect. That being said, getting on the scale puts me in a tail spin .I feel like my clothes are looser, I feel smaller. I had a pair of shorts fall off. Why can't I just be happy and ok with that. That's what I'm working on.
ReplyDelete