May 27th, 2014 Training Wheels On
I'm settling down into a nice groove and it continues to feel amazing. I still have issues I must address, like time management and drinking more water. But I must say, overall I'm very pleased with myself these days.
I hosted a teleconference tonight with Life Coach Gerri and I think it went fairly well. I always think of ways I could have articulated ideas better, afterward. Of course I'm my worst critic when it comes to this stuff. One thing that came up during an answer to a question was, if after relapse I felt like I hadn't learned anything previously. I learned so much during my initial weight loss but now, looking back I can clearly identify things that fell short. The shortcoming was in the emotional and stress eating department. The thing is, I set my support and accountability system so high, that it carried me through things I would have otherwise ran for cover from in a drive-through. I lost the last 75 pounds going through a separation and divorce. The thing I didn't stop doing under any circumstance was writing my blog every night. I still had that strong element of support and accountability--and it gave me strength. The mistake was after the storms had passed, I thought my survival without relapse meant I had somehow found a way to end my emotional and stress eating tendencies---when really, I was carried through those times by the level of accountability and support I had built over the course of my transformation. Then...
When I stopped writing the blog everyday--and then sporadically at best--I suddenly didn't have the same support system and accountability factor... And things were okay for a almost a year and a half. They were because everything seemed great--I was writing my book, I staying connected with people and life seemed rosy. When it stopped being all peaches, is when suddenly I discovered I had abandoned every tool that brought me so far. Like a kid who's trying to ride a bike for the first time with the training wheels off, I stumbled time and time again. But my foolish pride kept me from re-installing the training wheels and getting back to basics... That is until the mud of one too many ditches made it very clear, I needed to get back to what worked for me. Training wheels on!
Still, I wouldn't trade this experience, really. I needed to be humbled. I needed to see all sides of this journey. And thanks to regaining--I've been able to go back and investigate the areas where I clearly need more study. I call it a blessing in disguise, 100%.
I also didn't give my food addiction the respect and consideration it needed. I didn't want to accept it completely. So once again, I learned the hard way--there are certain things I mustn't eat. When I consume sugar, I struggle--I binge. When I don't, no struggle and no urges to binge. And when I'm not fighting the battle of the binge--it frees me to focus on the food and exercise fundamentals and the very important practice of maintaining my accountability and support system.
This presentation tonight was in advance of our next weekly teleconference support group. If you're interested in signing up for the six week program starting June 3rd, please email me your intention: Sean@transformationroad.com. The weekly support group is Tuesday evenings at 8 Eastern, 7 Central, 6 mountain, 5 Pacific. It is very different than what we did tonight. It's a lot of one on one, exploring you and your experience--your puzzle and offering support toward helping you achieve your weight loss objectives. The weekly group includes a private Facebook group for call members only and unlimited email, text, and call support when needed. Think about it--and I'll have sign up details for you in the next couple days.
I prepared some amazing turkey enchiladas tonight. I had them oven ready before the teleconference tonight, then finished them and enjoyed the dinner shortly after. The picture, along with everything else I eat daily, is on my Twitter feed: @SeanAAnderson I also enjoyed an incredible workout tonight at the YMCA on the elliptical. It is getting easier and easier to handle. I'll start upping the resistance and duration very soon.
Thank you for reading and your incredible support,
Strength,
Sean
Thank you again Sean for the tele-conference. I really enjoyed it and you and Gerri reaffirmed some things that I have been going through, accountability and support being key. You are so awesome! Take care~Jules
ReplyDeleteBuilding that accountability and support system is imperative. Glad you enjoyed the call! So many things I wanted to express in a clearer way--and didn't. On the phone is very different than a stage or the written word... Kind of felt out of my element some... the weekly sessions we do are very different..the people speaking the most are the participants. Take care of you, Julie--and keep writing, writing, writing!!
DeleteSomehow the term "training wheels" is hard for me. I am of two minds: 1) Yes, support and accountability are integral parts of loss, so why not also vital to the mammoth challenge of maintenance? Training wheels seem to imply that their user is immature and deficit, rather than a someone who has wisely selected to enroll in a discipline. 2) On the other hand, the goal is to be changed and "free." So changed that discipline ceases to be an issue? Hardly! But perhaps it is possible that discipline becomes permanently automatic.
ReplyDeleteMy instinct is that it is more likely for a recovering alcoholic to stay off booze than for a recovering food/sugar addict to continue to consume within limits. And because food is necessary and not intrinsically "bad," we cannot easily "arrive" at a safe zone where discipline is no longer necessary.
I guess I am saying that as a mature adult, I will choose to keep training wheels on my big bike, and ride with a smile, as opposed to trudging along with my burden of extra pounds!
Loved this comment. You have a wonderful way of articulating your thoughts. "Discipline becomes permanently automatic..." Yes. And I'm with you--I'll leave the training wheels on--I don't care how it looks, really-- If the training wheels help keep me upright, I will keep em on, indefinitely... I "arrived" at a place before where I said--enough--training wheels off!! And we know what happened with my self-assured/over-confident attitude...It caught up with me. Lessons, oh my--yes-- grateful for them.
DeleteOne of these Tuesdays I would love to be there for one of your calls :) I'm sure it was great. I've been loving all you have to say lately, all so true. We learn so much from each other and the support we give to each other is so very important. Good to have you back :) I need to get to writing more myself :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Dawn! It's amazing how much people like us have in common. When I read your blog--I most always come away relating and understanding something better. I'm very happy to be back, for sure. I feel better than I ever have felt. Support is such a critical element, indeed. I'll be looking to read more from you. I always enjoy it. Take care!
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