Yesterday was a 5-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal again (a streak is going!), I completed a wonderful 30-minute, level 15 of 20 elliptical workout, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
Mom, Noah, and I spent some good time together yesterday. I'm seeing remarkable food behaviors in Noah that seem very foreign as compared to my childhood experience. He ordered broccoli as a side with his cheeseburger. Then, tossed the bun. He ate the broccoli like a champ. He loves it. I love that. Witnessing this very natural behavior in him is a beautiful thing. He doesn't even finish his candy at the movie theater--what's that all about? I smile. Although I truly believe most of the early developmental stuff is a situational/circumstantial and learned behavior, there's still a relief that comes with believing that "that" part of my genetic code didn't make it to him.
Mom is doing well lately. Her care remains very good and on a higher level than before, meaning, they're watching very closely and doing their best to prevent the pattern from repeating. That's a relief.
My workout yesterday was amazing as I continue to make that time all about the joy of the process. For me, that's the key. Making it enjoyable and making it an escape into positive self-care is helping reframe my perspective--and this is helping me become more consistent.
I'm about to head out to the RecPlex for a good workout, then a short visit with mom, before returning home to prepare dinner. But, before I go...
I've been getting several messages/emails lately about food choices and how to create a food plan. I don't have all the answers and I'm NOT an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I have some thoughts and opinions, as you know! Instead of rewriting, this is a good time to take an excerpt from the archives of this diary:
I can't tell you what to eat. I believe we must create that list based on our own preferences.
I eat what I like and nothing I don't. And the choices I'm making are made because it's where I am, now.
I previously lost 275 pounds eating much differently. It wasn't right or wrong then and my eating habits are not right or wrong now. They're simply reflective of where I am today. I like what I'm doing. It's working for me.
And that's key, in my opinion--finding what works for you. Discovering what you can do, what you like and how you like it, is imperative.
I don't like labeling anything "right or wrong/good or bad." Food is food. Eat what you like, just set a budget and consistently stay within the budget. Trust that your choices will evolve in time.
If you've ever been handed a pre-set food plan and told to follow it to the letter--and you didn't like everything on the list, but you choked it down anyway--that's a means to an end.
The experts creating the perfect food plans are not wrong, necessarily, they're just not taking into account the human element.
If whatever we're doing isn't something we can do forever--if it isn't sustainable, then it's temporary. We can white knuckle it and adhere to a food plan in the name of "I can do anything for a short time," and we'll see those results, but as soon as it's over--it's back to what we prefer, and that's why, in my opinion--we should just start with what we prefer in the first place, allowing our plan to evolve as we maneuver our budget and boundaries.
If you've been a regular reader of this blog for the last nine and a half years, you might remember days where a Snickers Bar, Ice cream, cake, fast food cheeseburgers and Taco Bell all made their way into my budget. I don't look back on that time and think, wow--I didn't eat very well. I look back and think, that's where I was and needed to be at that time. I'm not saying it's a good idea to rush out and stock up on these things. I'm just saying...
Having been 500 pounds for so long, I instinctively knew that I wasn't going to change a lifetime of habits overnight. And I felt like if I tried, it would end up another failed attempt. In my opinion, the "nothing is off-limits" philosophy is still valid and important, because it allows us to be where we are, be ourselves--growing and developing in a natural organic way.
We learn about ourselves along the way. I've learned that I can't do refined sugar. It's by far the single most important recovery decision I've made along the way. It took a 164-pound relapse/regain to arrive at that conclusion. Some things, for me, are harder to learn. And that's ok.
But not everybody is a food addict like me, addicted to refined sugar with over three decades of experience in stuffing emotions and stress with food. Abstaining from certain food substances may not be what's right for you.
The main reason why I've always been a proponent of simplicity when it comes to food is because along this road it's about so much more than food and exercise. The mental/emotional/psychological elements in play are all bigger and more challenging than "what should I eat?"
In my opinion, if the greater focus is placed on the food and exercise instead of the mental/emotional/psychological dynamics--then we end up facing the biggest elements unprepared. It becomes a "diet mentality." A focus on a simplistic food plan based on our personal preferences and backed up with solid accountability and support has a really good chance of working well for the long haul.
There are no right or wrong foods. Eat what you like and allow yourself a natural evolution of good choices along the way. Getting real about your trigger foods and food substances that make you nuts is imperative for the process. This requires a willingness to NOT beat yourself up when things don't go well, instead--if we look at things from a "what worked well and what isn't working as well" perspective, instead of a "failure or success, right or wrong, black and white, perfection or nothing" perspective, we can evolve quite nicely and since we're not devoting a large amount of energy to self-sabotaging thoughts and negative head chatter, we're able to evaluate things on a more stable level.
The practice of maintaining the integrity of a calorie budget can have a powerful impact on this evolution because we're trying to get the most value for our calories. The evolution only occurs with a sacred level of self-honesty and a willingness to reach out for support when we recognize a breach coming on, otherwise, there isn't a reason to navigate the calorie budget for the best calorie values if we're constantly violating the budget.
And please, never compare what you're eating to someone else's food. Remember, we're all different. I don't eat refined sugar because for me, once I start, I can't stop. You may not share that addiction with me.
Sometimes, the biggest mental hurdles come when we compare what we're eating to our own expectations or what we perceive to be what we should be eating or what we've heard is best or the healthier choice. Take what fits you and leave the rest. Don't harshly judge your well-fitting food plan.
My best advice is to let it go.
Just be you and give yourself room to grow and develop. Ultimately, we're wanting to arrive at our healthiest weight--and if we arrive at a healthy weight range for our body--and along the way our health improves dramatically--and we do it in a way that fits us, individually--then we've successfully shifted the focus away from the old diet mentality--we've accepted and embraced the plan we've created specifically for us--and now, how does it all compare to the pre-planned diets of old, the ones that were nutritionally sound but lacked a human consideration--the ones difficult to sustain--the ones challenging our ability to remain consistent??
Simple is sustainable, sustainable encourages consistency and consistency beats intensity, every single time.
The "I'm Choosing Change" wristband with "Before Change Chooses Me" imprinted on the inside, will be available from my new website that's coming within a month or so (It's in the design phase)--however, you can get one early if you desire!
Send an email with your request: transformation.road@gmail.com and I'll send you a direct PayPal invoice for the $15 charge and then personally ship yours right away! It's a powerful reminder every single day--connecting us with our "why" as it helps keep a positive measure of awareness and mindfulness in place. It's certainly doing good things for my personal awareness each day.
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
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Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!
Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com
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