Friday was a 4-star day: I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal again, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.
This was supposed to be a day off but it certainly hasn't felt like one. I put in a few hours today, completed a production project--and I've yet to make it back out for my workout. But--the good news is, I can reframe my brain and turn this day around! When I get all "meh," I try to do a mindset-reset focused on gratitude for the blessings all around me. Also, when I get self-involved and slightly grumpy, it also helps get me out of my own head when I reach out to another and offer my support. These are things, like so many along this road, that requires intentional action and practice.
I've got to get into the grocery store this evening. I really enjoy the act of making sure I have what I need when I need it. I feel most connected with my food plan when I'm in the store doing the shopping. I'm the same guy that many times carried a very different perspective into the store and I'm still capable of going into a store with a completely different perspective if I relent on the daily practice that helps keep me well.
I think a positive trip depends on the intention and expectation I carry through those automatic doors.
If my intention is to buy things supportive of my plan with the expectation that it will provide what I need in order to maintain the integrity of my food plan in the coming days, then it's a completely different and good experience.
If my intention is driven by the gravitational pull of compulsive over-eating and my expectation is that it'll somehow "fix" something or fill a void of some kind, then I'm off the rails and off to the races, straight into a depressive cycle where the expectations are never met. Food is not a fixer.
An exchange with a reader from the archives:
"I have never been able to not go off the wagon with food choices when I'm out of my routine. Say like a birthday, holiday, etc....and the much bigger problem for me is it's an opportunity to go nuts for a few days after that too. It takes that long for me to reel myself back in. Or another one is something happens to me that upsets me and I've always used food to numb myself. I can't figure out how not to. So what I'm saying in the long version is how do I gain those tools? It's just not happening for me."
My reply:
Thank you for sharing your struggle. You're not alone.
One thing that's helped me is making sure my plan is something I enjoy--in other words, I'm loving the foods I "get" to eat, every day. It isn't something I dread. What happens is, when my perception and expectation of what it means for me to be "on plan," is something I can easily live with, I'm less likely inclined to take a vacation or holiday from it. There's no desire to flee from deprivation into an anything goes type situation--because I don't feel deprived.
Now-- here's the rub:
Even with this "I'm loving it" plan in place, what you described still happens...
My abstinence from refined sugar may have very well turned off the "binge switch," those biochemical reactions in the addictive part of my brain--but what it doesn't stop is, my natural inclination to seek comfort in excess food when times get stressful and emotional. It takes a separate action plan to deal with that.
And it doesn't stop it to simply say, "excess food doesn't solve anything--it doesn't help resolve issues--it isn't a fixer--it's simply a temporary diversion--a distraction from our real experiences..."
Does it help? The only help it provides is that temporary distraction from whatever is weighing heavy on our minds at any given moment.
BUT AGAIN-- saying that, processing it, agreeing with it 100%, still doesn't stop the tendency to dive in when we're feeling those things.
One thing to remember: Feelings have a beginning and an end. Whatever it is, will come and go--weigh heavy, then subside--be on the forefront of your consciousness and then fade back into your sub-consciousness. When you're feeling like buffering your emotions with food--remember that this will pass...the moment will evolve and change...and in the meantime, while it's pressing: Find support asap!!!!
This is the most critical element I've discovered along my path: Building your support and accountability structure is imperative to your success. Find someone to be a support text buddy/friend. When those feelings start welling up and the obsessive food thoughts come flowing into your head--tell on 'em!!! Don't keep them exclusively in your head--because if you do, they'll typically win, almost every time.
Share what you're thinking--get it out in the open...When you "tell on 'em," it has a powerful effect.
What happens when a playground bully is exposed to authority figures? They typically turn into little angels. Same dynamic. When we expose those thoughts by bringing in our "support team," something powerful happens---suddenly we're not facing it alone...suddenly our resolve to maintain the integrity of our plan is strengthened--oftentimes, just in the nick of time.
I share a bunch of reminders, ideas, and perspectives on weight loss here. I do it in hopes of helping someone, anyone who might relate and identify with the challenges along this road. But that's not the only reason. I also share these for me. My continued recovery depends on my awareness AND practice of elements critical to my success. I gain inspiration and motivation from you and I sincerely appreciate your incredible support. Choosing change isn't a temporary diversion, it's a daily practice, an ongoing education about ourselves and what we need to enjoy the rest of our lives free from the physical and mental restrictions of obesity.
Okay-- cleaning, store trip, exercise...exciting Saturday night ahead!
Do you own an "I'm Choosing Change" wristband? I wear mine proudly, daily, and more and more people are joining me in this movement! Email me and let me know if you want one. I'll send you a secure $15 PayPal invoice and personally ship it to you right away! transformation.road@gmail.com
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean
If you're interested in connecting via social media:
I accept friend requests on MyFitnessPal. My daily food logging diary is set to public.
MFP Username: SeanAAnderson
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Instagram: SeanAAnderson
Also--I'd love you to subscribe to my podcast Transformation Planet! You can find it in Apple Podcasts, in the Google Play store for Android, and listed wherever you find your favorite podcasts! If you haven't listened before, you'll find 20 episodes waiting for you!
Questions or comments? Send an email! transformation.road@gmail.com
Hi Sean! I read your blog years ago and just thought to pop in and see where you are. Congrats on your daily progress! Just wanted to comment that I like that you keep an eye on refined grains. A more keto way of eating seems to work for me, although I love that you eat so much whole food and looks like seasonal food! The history of how the grains we eat has changed and how fast it has changed...is kinda scary!
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