Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Day 456 Not Suppose To Happen and Making Organization A Priority

Day 456

Not Suppose To Happen and Making Organization A Priority

I woke up energized and refreshed this morning. I was ready to take on a Monday like never before. I prepared a low calorie-very filling four egg white omelet with mushrooms, poured some coffee, and contemplated my week. I don't know when the case of the blues kicked in, but at some point it did. What? This isn't suppose to happen to me! I'm positive all the time, I laugh in the face of the blues! But really, sometimes I don't when I should. These changes I've written about, it's so true, I'm handling them well---but maybe not as well as I thought. The entire situation isn't what I dreamed of, but seriously, is anything ever exactly like we dreamed? The fact that here we are at Christmas really highlights the changes in a dramatic fashion. It's when I'm feeling this way that I must remind myself of all the wonderful blessings in my life. I must realize all of the wonderful blessings ahead, and calmly and gracefully make it through the storms.

I always thought that losing the weight once and for all would magically fix everything. It most certainly doesn't. What started out as a wonderful dream for a total family transformation has turned into two households divided by the lost and founds of love and change. The dramatic weight loss, as much as I want to say it hasn't made a difference in our personal situation, it has...a big difference. The rational feet-on-the-ground---positive but realistic side of me says that the good far outweighs the bad. And that's right. And so I'll wrap up this little pitty party and give thanks for the many blessings in my life. Perfection has never been the goal here, so when things don't go perfect---why should I act so surprised?

I had an appointment today with Anson Williams to play racquetball. Pottsie's schedule changed and we ended up cancelling the match for today. I decided to hit the fitness room hard tonight and did. I made it twenty minutes on that elliptical. Twenty muscle burning minutes! I was proud of my determination. I then jumped over on the treadmill and did two miles. I still didn't jog on the fitness room treadmill. I haven't because I'm afraid the noise might disturb the neighbors surrounding the room. I really need to start going before it gets too late.

It was a good workout and a good food day. I even enjoyed some fried catfish for dinner! I love catfish, I do...enough to even try it grilled the next chance I get! My biggest challenge with catfish is resisting the tarter sauce. I use a little, but nothing like I use to consume. I never really cared before this journey, but now that I do---wow, tarter sauce is loaded (65 calories for two tablespoons)! Not as bad as mayo, but not far behind. Fried catfish, surprisingly is not that bad. A breaded and fried catfish filet checks in at 199 calories. I had one and a half filets, or 300 calories worth of fish. Sure, there are better calorie values---but when I want fish--I can live with these numbers!

One of my immediate goals is to become more organized. Organized in my thoughts, my actions, my plans, my goals---just nicely organized. I may even start using a day planner. JV, my old radio boss just laughed from his grave. Seriously JV, I'm going to get a dayplanner and start using it! So there! Laugh all you want my friend. I've been lucky to have had as much success without being completely organized, imagine what I could do with a little organization!

Thank you for reading my friend. I sincerely appreciate your support along this road. It's been a life changing journey so far, I knew it would be---I'm not sure I realized how much, but all together...all things considered, it's awesome. And that's not just me trying to be positive. It really is awesome how far we've traveled in such a short time. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,


  1. Sean if you figure out the being organized thing please pass it along :) I need all the help i can get!
    I've never tried catfish but it sounds good.
    And i think it's only human to find good and bad in everything we do.

  2. boomerang. I hate that when that happens.
    I think it's one too many meals alone.
    During Christmas, alone is not optimal. Keep hanging with your friends as much as possible. Your family when you can. Get a tree up. Go to church or something. I have had periods where I was riding high....usually during my husbands frequent deployments. It was when I got home and was alone that it hit. That was what I was worried about for you bud. You are moving into new space....you are going to be single, no longer part of a couple. It is a huge transition and can be really bumpy. Luckily you have a job where you are involved with all sorts of people daily. Hopefully the lonliness will be mitigated a bit in that way.this is also an excellent time to pick up a new hobby, read more and think.
    You are a positive person, being a little sad is normal. just move through it and find new purpose.
    Rooting for you here in colorado.

  3. Isn't it crazy how it just hits you sometimes like that? You are having a great day, expect great things...and all of the sudden emotions come crashing down. I know I've been there.

    Thank you so much for coming out and saying that the weight loss has changed things. It is something I really fear, the change I know my weight loss will bring to my life and in my relationship with my husband. I know many things will be great, and any change is worth it...but I also know there are going to be some hard transitions. You just saying it, that it has had an effect...for some reason, that made me feel a lot better. So, thank you.

    Congrats on the elliptical! Oh you are going to learn to love that thing :) At least I did!

    Keep up the great work.

  4. Sean, weight loss changes things even for folks who lose only a few pounds. It just does. You'll figure it out just like you have with the other things along this journey. I wouldn't worry too much about making noise on the machines in the exercise room. I don't think they'd let the thing be open 24 hrs/day if they were worried about that.

  5. i thought i felt a disturbance in the force coming from out elk city way! seriously, i've known you for almost 10 years, and, if there's one thing i've seen you learn during this journey, it's to learn how to talk it out with others when you're a little down. it happens to all of us, and there are people around you who are there for you!

  6. I worry about things changing as the weight falls of me with my husband. I never used to until I started following you. I guess you never think that would happen from something that starts out as a healthy lifestyle change. By getting healthy you will be there for your daughters and that's what matters most I think. Just my thoughts though.

  7. All good comments here, not much to add but just say what you are going through is totally normal. In fact, if you didn't have these moments of "OMG, things are changing!" it would be worrisome.

    Celebrate your humanness...the fact you have down days just means you cared and continue to care deeply for your entire family. These low points are perches from where we take the next step forward.

  8. I get the blues still, even though I am generally happier than I have ever been. Losing weight doesn't fix everything, sadly, but it sure makes coping with difficult situations a hellova lot easier!

    Getting organised will be my resolution for 2010, lol!


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