I love doing standup. It brings me tremendous joy. It simply makes my heart happy. Tonight's show was a wonderful experience. I invited a few very talented friends to perform and we gave 'em an hour and a half show full of laughs from start to finish.
The difference between my "stand-up days" and now is remarkable to me because I felt so limited back then, and now, I'm not. I'm free to write material more in line with who I am, rather than what I thought I had to be in those 500 pound days. I'll be honest--when a show goes well like it did tonight, I can't help but wonder how standup in LA would be different for me at this healthy body weight. I had so much success despite my 500-pound weight--I was a paid regular at the Hollywood Improv, the Kimmel Show stuff and getting coveted bookings all over Southern California--all of it at 500 pounds--So what about now? Part of my brain says--all of that and more!! The more reasonable and realistic side of my brain says, slow down buddy-- do it for fun and joy, and be content with what you have, today--which isn't a bad thing. Is it smart to simply move on since I'm no longer 31 years old, like I was back then? That's a tough "yes" and deep in my heart, I know it's for the best. But man, I love standup.
Looking back with twinges of regret isn't a productive frame of mind. But I do it sometimes--just being real. In that counterproductive groove, my mind focuses on what if I would have started along this transformation road ten years earlier than I did? There's nothing positive in that thought process. I didn't and I've got to be okay with me on this issue.
Today is today--and I'm truly grateful for where I am and the road I've been on. Although, I think looking back and imagining a different trajectory is a fairly normal thing to do...I also think I need to check my gratitude list a little more often.
Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with great support.
Hitting the pillow after a wonderful on-plan day. It was a day where I thoroughly massaged core elements of me--and that always feels great.
Today's Accountability Tweets:
2 cups water, 20 push-ups & 20 squats equals #morningdeal DONE✅✅ Good morning! Coffee pass earned. pic.twitter.com/15oa2Pn4HN— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
3 tbs half & half in the first, 3 tbs half & half in a refill, soon. 120 cal. pic.twitter.com/UEnGUXxnqs— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
Breakfast in MyFitnessPal. Not shown in screen shot: 100g red seedless grapes. pic.twitter.com/KIYWxSDeRD— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
2 whl eggs, 2 egg whts, 1 slice asiago, 1 slice mozzarella on toasted sprouted grain Ezekiel. 5.7oz Pink Lady apple & 100g grapes. 600 cal. pic.twitter.com/qzhgMRyn17— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
Lunch in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/AOX42nmEtM— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
112g banana w/48g almond/cashew butter & 100g red seedless grapes. 451 cal. pic.twitter.com/ukZkJqPAQl— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
Dinner in MyFitnessPal... pic.twitter.com/LZ6xbQZ0UI— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
Fajita beef crunchy tacos w/6oz beef, 3 tbs sour cream, and lettuce. No cheese on these. 8 tortilla chips & fresh salsa. 637 cal. pic.twitter.com/hqNrW9fO6t— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
3 tbs half & half in this after dinner, before the big standup show, cup of coffee. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/5ZvwRiC8Rc— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 24, 2017
2 tbs half & half in this after show cup of coffee. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/sb6uElEHUv— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2017
Egg white omelet in MyFitnessPal. Not shown: 2 slices swiss. pic.twitter.com/WqDkoN9K1X— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2017
3 egg wht omelet w/approx.1oz mshrms, approx.20g onions, approx.20g grn.pepper, & 2 slices swiss. Approx.75g cantaloupe&2oz honeydew. 254cal pic.twitter.com/7rtsZDrIkI— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2017
The "show is over- it went very well and I'm finally home" relaxing cup of coffee with 3 tbs half & half. 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/wK7VZNdCkM— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2017
Much earlier: Two cups of water times 3, during show, exceeded today's #watergoal by a bunch. #wateraccountability pic.twitter.com/hSzWaNYHix— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2017
120g red seedless grapes #lastfoodofday 79 cal. pic.twitter.com/fBvRskSYhX— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) June 25, 2017
Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean
great that you find comic relief in your otherwise crazy, hectic life, Sean. I hope we can create some time for a new venture.
ReplyDeleteSean, I feel your yearning to "give stand-up a real try," in your post today. I too regret wasting so much of life being at an unhealthy weight, and wish I'd "fixed" myself when I was much younger, instead of waiting until I was 60. I missed out on so much. But Sean, you are still YOUNG! I think you should give it a shot. GO FOR IT! You only live once.
ReplyDeleteI was there and I LOVED IT! It's so inspiring to see a real live person who has accomplished the things you have and make it a priority to follow your dreams even if it's on a smaller stage in rural Oklahoma instead of just letting them go because it's not LA. It shows me those people aren't just on TV and gives me more inspiration to push through to my goals and try things that feel unattainable. I am privileged to know you!!
ReplyDeleteSean, You're still a very young man. Yes. You are. Many guys your age are just starting a family and establishing their career. you were an early starter with that--which means you are not longer bearing the responsibility of a wife and raising young children. Better yet, you have experience under your belt.
ReplyDeleteyou think you have regrets now? Twenties years from now, when you're in your 60s, you may wish you had taken a chance now when you're young and relatively free of "need to stay safe and put" kind of responsibilities.
Of course, I have no idea about stand-up or if you're schtick will fly in LA now that you're not 500 pounds; what I do know is that now is the time if you're going to do it.
Deb
Sean, your post reminds me of the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. If you haven't read it let me urge you to do so. I believe it will give you pause to think on this subject. Good luck!
ReplyDelete