That's The Cough Syrup Talking

That's The Cough Syrup Talking

Me: I haven't been sick like this in years.  I can't remember the last time.

Long time friend:  This is like "fat Sean sick."

Me: Yeah, it's been that long, sure has.

This conversation has been on my mind all day.  And it's not what I want on my mind.  And still, I've chosen to allow it to bother me.  Has gaining back nearly 60 pounds weakened my immune system?  Do you see what I do to myself?  I know it's raised my blood pressure.  At and around 230--for a year and a half--never sick.  Gain nearly 60, sick twice in the last couple months.  You know what?  This isn't productive, this train of thought.  There's silver linings and a wonderful future to think about.  Like "fat Sean sick," I keep thinking about it. He (my friend) didn't mean anything bad by it, it was simply an observation.  500 pound Sean was sick all the time.  500 pound Sean probably missed a month or more of work a year.  If not a month, pretty close I'm sure.  Anyway... What about those silver linings...

Enough of that garbage.

The good news is, I feel better.  The 2nd trip to the doctor was a great idea.  Oh--I didn't share that here did I?  Yes, Wednesday I made it to work--and made it home even worse than before.  I tried to nap Wednesday afternoon but the throat pain accompanied by headache and nausea wasn't letting me sleep.  My over the counter plan (suggested at my first doctors visit) wasn't working.  Late afternoon (Wednesday) I decided to return to the doctor.  This time it was a different doctor, a PA actually.  She was good--she immediately recognized a sinus infection and seemed to understand exactly what I needed. I needed my throat to stop hurting.  Hurting to swallow is expected with a sore throat, but hurting to breathe and laugh?  That's super sore.  She prescribed an antibiotic, a steroid and the best--worst tasting prescription strength cough syrup with narcotic pain killer in the mix.  Three prescriptions later and I'm doing much better.  My throat pain is gone.  And that's a big one for me.

It's a good thing I'm hardly ever sick, because I'll admit--I'm a BIG BABY. 

Let's discuss healthy stuff, like exercise...

The Sean that's super hard on himself: You realize you haven't had a good workout all week?

Me: I've been sick?

The Sean that's super hard on himself: Yeah yeah, whatever...And you wonder why you've only lost one pound in recent weeks.

Me: I hadn't mentioned that yet.

The Sean that's super hard on himself: Well, what are you waiting for?

Me: I was getting to it.  I thought I would talk about my walk tonight first.

The Sean that's super hard on himself: You mean that little two mile stroll in the park?

Me: You're not good for me.  It wasn't little.  I've been sick.  Two miles outside was enough tonight. It's cold and damp out there...honestly, I shouldn't have been out there to begin with...

Okay--enough of that nonsense.

It was a conversation like this that led me to the trail tonight in the first place.  I made it a couple miles and called it good.  It wasn't my best, but I'm not feeling my best.  It was good for me, right now.  Good for me tonight.

Yesterday at 5:40am I was standing on the scale inside the locker room at our local YMCA.  It's one of those balance scales. I know these are supposed to be the best, but I prefer a digital readout.  I'm seriously contemplating driving every two weeks to the health department in Stillwater just for the trusty digital scales I used during the first three quarters of my initial weight loss.  I'm not complaining because I lost 1 pound.  I'll take it.  I'm okay.  I was expecting a few more actually--and I'll get them, they're coming off.  No worries. For now, at this moment--I weigh 288.  I don't like that at all.

I stopped at the post office today to ship a few orders from my website and I ran into someone who's known me for some time.  She asked how I was doing--and of course I immediately thought she had recognized weight gain--and so naturally I start explaining---"well, yeah---I've gained some, 59 pounds and..." And she interrupted me and asked... "Really?  I hadn't noticed. You still look great."  Now--I'm not sure if she was being nice or if she just didn't pay close enough attention before...or maybe I feel and notice it more than anyone.  There's a noticeable difference.  I've had a couple people come right out and say it... So I know it's noticeable.  59 pounds--well, now 58...Is noticeable.  I'm lucky I'm 6'3 and carry my weight as well as I do.  By the way-- I did say thank you to the nice lady at the post office. (even if I didn't fully believe her)

Tomorrow I'll be doing what I love to do: Speaking to a group of people about weight loss and all of the dynamics I've discovered and continue to discover along the way.  I'll be speaking of success, struggle and the balance we find along the way.  I'll be speaking of this blog and my book too and how sharing my life so openly has helped me while at the same time, challenged me.

Next Saturday I'll be traveling to a speaking event at the Hard Rock Hotel in Tulsa where I'll be speaking to a conference of doctors.  I'll be giving them my experience, philosophies and insight on obesity and weight loss.  It'll be an interesting experience, I'm sure!  I'm truly honored to be invited to their big conference!

I haven't been doing my metabolism any favors the last several days.  I've come in under budget because I simply haven't felt like eating. Lots of eggs, soup and jello.  Easy stuff.  I'll be back to feeling like me again 100% in a day or two, maybe three tops as I continue to take this arsenal of medication. 

I better call it a night.  Thank you for reading...goodnight and,  (if you think this post is loopy--I blame the cough syrup)

Good Choices,
Sean

Just Be Okay

Just Be Okay

Pausing to reflect is important. Indeed, it is.  But only when the reflection is focused on the lessons learned in our struggles, the victories earned in our triumphs and the choices needed to move forward in a positive way.

Pausing to reflect can be devastating if we're squarely focused on the negative consequences of our choices and actions.  It's like constantly analyzing where and why we swerved off the road.  If you're driving along and you skid off a slippery highway, finding yourself in a ditch, you might pause to thank God you survived.  You probably would spend a minimal amount of time thinking about what happened leading up to and creating the loss of control.  But then your main focus turns to what it must be in those moments: "How do we get out of this ditch?"

When flashes of what to do now are clouded by constantly analyzing what went wrong, feeling bad about what happened and obsessing about how it could have been different, we become stuck.  Truly stuck.  Paralyzed by our thoughts, we sit and stew inside as the windows become covered until we can't see the road.  Soon, disoriented, we lose our sense of direction. We know we can't give up, because staying here will eventually kill us if we don't act.  Our basic instincts of survival demand we act and act now, if we hope to ever get out of here, we must act. 

That's where I've been.  In that vehicle.  I'm not alone.  I have my hopes and dreams with me.  I have the best of intentions with me too.  I have family and friends who reach out and offer support and they believe in me 100%; they always have.  If I were more clear with them, revealing my location, they would find me and once again their support would be fully received as it once was in the best of times.  Instead, I sit here, feeling the sting of the cold as thoughts of my chosen consequences pierce me in every way I allow.

I occasionally receive messages from people far and near who have read my blog, my book and facebook mini-blogs and they send some of the most incredibly positive stories about how my journey has affected them.  They're on the road, hands on the wheel and thanking me for inspiration they've gleaned from my experience.  Perhaps they haven't heard of my current dilemma.  Maybe they have and they're hoping it motivates me to act and act now.  I often find myself in tears while reading these, filled with happiness for them first, then reminding myself that this is all I want to do with my life; to be a positive light for others; to serve as an honest example of what's truly possible.  Then, I become overwhelmed with guilt, withdrawing into myself, hiding from the truths I must embrace to get me out of here.

This isn't a pity party. This isn't a cry for sympathy.  This is the truth of where I am and it's a place I've kept myself by choice.  No, not the best choice(s), obviously, but it's my doing.  I'm responsible for me.

I have little sympathy or compassion when I read about a blue chip athlete who has it all going for him, yet self-destructs before he realizes his ultimate goals and dreams.  Or when they achieve incredible heights, only to fall quickly by way of their own horrible choices. Yet, I find myself in a similar place.

If I'm not willing to give someone else sympathy and compassion in this situation, imagine what I'm doing to myself.  I must have compassion for myself, self-forgiveness and an eye for the clearer road ahead.  I have serious choices to make.  Good choices.  I have the tools readily available to emerge from this death trap and get back on the road to safety and positive leadership.

Oklahoma's own Vince Gill once sang "There's no future in the past," and oh my, how true that rings.  I can't go back in time and prevent what has happened, so why constantly obsess over the elements involved? I can move forward in a positive way, one choice at a time.  And when I'm in similar positions someday, I'll appreciate the experience I've gained, giving me the strength and insights to be okay.

Someone I truly care about recently told me to just "be okay."  And it sent me in search of what that means.  It sounds so simple.  "No really. Just. be. okay."  I want to be okay.

I think it means to appreciate the positive blessings, let go of the negatives and move forward in peace.  I think it means for me to have compassion for myself and others as I navigate the future in this direction, instead of wallowing in the maze of my past.  I think it means to stop trying to figure out how to undo what's already done, like it never happened--and make positive steps toward a future where the same mistakes are not repeated.  Just be okay.

That's where I am.  I'm working on being okay.  I'm reaching for the door handle leading out of this place.  The sun shines on the other side of this door.  Why would I choose to stay in the darkness?  There's fresh air out there, there's love, there's peace, there's family and friends...there's hope and promise.

I've deflected every inquiry from family and friends about what I want for Christmas.  I simply want peace.  I simply want to be okay.  And this Christmas wish isn't something anyone else can give me.

I'm here. I'm choosing to release myself from the imprisoning thoughts of yesterday.  I'm choosing to live today.

I wish you the best Christmas wish I can, that you find peace, love and most of all, you find yourself being okay.

Thank you for reading, my friend.  Thank you for your incredible support.  Thank you for believing in me.  Thank you for being you.

Merry Christmas,
Sean

Day 1,329 Dynamics of Maintaining

Day 1,329

Dynamics of Maintaining

When I hit goal in November 2010, I had the benefit of twenty-six months and a day to prepare me for the next phase of the rest of my life: Maintaining my weight loss.

Had my focus been heavy on the food and exercise fundamentals instead of the mental dynamics along the way, this may have been an anxiety filled idea.  Would I spend the rest of my life constantly balancing my food intake with exercise in a never ending pursuit of keeping the weight off?  The answer is yes and no.

Yes--Because eating and exercise will be two things I do forever.
No--Because I've changed my relationship with food.

The illusion that food somehow makes my troubles and stress easier to handle is gone.  The tendency to abuse food like a drug is gone.  Does this mean it's some kind of effortless day to day existence?

Not at all.

I'm human.  I have cravings.  I love the taste of food.  The difference now is this: Instead of making food my number one focus and my number one go-to in the face of stress and emotions of every kind, I simply appreciate food and what it does for me.  I don't ask food to be something it isn't.  Food isn't a therapist.  Food doesn't fix anything other than my hunger and nutritional needs.  When I stopped putting inappropriate and unrealistic expectations on food, things started dramatically changing inside my head.

Figuring out the boundaries of "normal" portions was an educational process.  I always figured my giant 1/2 plate of mashed potatoes loaded with gravy neatly filling up the hole I made in the middle, was perfectly normal.  Discovering I was capable of enjoying a third of this in a regular portion was key for me.
I've written about my favorite foods before.  These favorites are foods I'm extremely cautious around: Peanut butter, cottage cheese, cheese of any kind and ice cream.  I recently threw away a jar of peanut butter from my pantry after a few spoonful trips.  Was it bad, these 100-200 calorie spoonful snacks?  Nutritional speaking, not at all.  Mentally speaking, yes.  I know my history with these favorites, so I'm ultra aware of my behaviors around them.  And this self-analysis is unique to each of us--and very important to assess, acknowledge, understand and monitor.

As long as I'm treating food the way it should be treated: Eating normal portions at appropriate times, then I don't have regaining issues or anxiety.  This isn't to say that my weight doesn't fluctuate to a degree.  Sure it does, especially if I'm missing too many workouts.  But the comfort is this: If my size 36 jeans start to get a little tight, I'm confident it's from lack of exercise and not because of my behaviors with food.

Separating stress and emotions from our daily behaviors with food is imperative to our success.  But how?  For me, it was writing.  The therapy found in writing out my feelings; dissecting my behaviors and really getting to the bottom of my motivations, has been and continues to be a stringent test of self-honesty.  I've recently learned about how every behavior, every action meets some kind of need.  What are we really after?  I highly recommend writing everyday in an effort to sort out these things.  And if you have the luxury of a professional therapist, that's awesome too.

The key to maintaining my weight loss is squarely on my ability to understand my needs in coping with stress and emotions.  I must always understand food's role and my role.  Food isn't a therapist.  Food doesn't fix my issues within.  It's my responsibility to work on my issues in handling and understanding stress and emotions in a very direct way.  Food cannot and will not be used as an escape from this responsibility ever again.

A normal day for me starts with breakfast.  I prepare a protein rich breakfast balanced with some fruit and yogurt most of the time.  I love the calorie value of egg whites, I do.  My breakfast calories usually run somewhere between 250-350 calories.  I pack some good snacks to take with me.  I often cut up an apple, grab an extra banana, fill a baggie with baby carrots and take along an extra yogurt.  These snacks serve me throughout the day.  And as long as I turn to them more often than a handful of salty snacks found in the break room, I'm winning.  Dinner can be a challenge sometimes.  My goal is to eventually eat only lean meats, fruits and veggies.  I'm not there yet.  But I do okay.  I occasionally eat out--and when I do, I'm always looking for the best calorie value on the menu--as long as it's something I enjoy.  I refuse to eat something I don't enjoy simply because it's a great calorie value.  I'm at my best when I fire up the grill and I enjoy veggies I never would have consumed before.  I can't believe I actually like asparagus and yellow squash.  I do!  It's an amazing evolution of good choices, because "old" Sean wouldn't ever allow those things to cross his lips.  Back then, I was too busy devouring everything else.

I tend to watch my calories to the point of appearing obsessive.  I consume somewhere between 1700 and 2200 calories per day.  But every now and then, I come up short.  It's those days where I have to remind myself to eat more in a very normal and healthy way.  Imagine that!  This is nuts for me considering my past, but it's a pleasant reality.

The tendency to self-destruct or hold myself back--oh, it's still in there.  But it manifests in other areas.  I've clearly not achieved a level of physical fitness I would prefer.  And my development in relationships and in my business aspirations is often stunted by my tendency to turn around and go back to my comfort zone.

This "comfort" zone is rarely comfortable, but it's very familiar.  It's what we've always known.  Any change from what we've always known creates anxiety--and anxiety sucks.  To avoid this feeling, it's easier to revert back into old habits and behaviors.  Even though it's a place we might not like, we do it because it's familiar---we know what to expect.  The fear of the unknown is a horrible beast.

The above described process of almost "getting there" and retreating to what's familiar, is exactly the dynamic ending so many attempts to choose change.

Recognizing how we create this "fear," acknowledging and embracing our "iron-clad" decision to change and deciding right here and now that we will not allow any excuse or rationalization to send us backward, is all crucial.  And it's all practice.  Because as long as we're willing to change and we're willing to be open minded about the dynamics of it all, then we're always learning and most importantly: Growing.  In my experiences I've discovered a gradual evolution of good choices.  It couldn't be a sudden and unnatural change of everything I had become.  I've moved forward because I allowed a confident patience to accompany my journey.  Someday I'll be the man who eats clean and runs everyday.  Until then, I'm just Sean--the guy who eats reasonably and exercises regularly and maintains a 275 pound weight loss.

Speaking of exercise: I've really increased my efforts lately.  This week I've already accomplished two 5K's and a spinning class.  My evolution in exercise hasn't been the same as it has in the food department.  I have to push myself to give it more.  I have to remind myself to throw away the excuses and rationalizations allowing me off the hook.  I also understand how important exercise is to my ability to maintain.  It's crucial.

My sincere apologies for assuming everyone who reads here also reads my facebook "micro-blogs." I admire your decision to live without facebook.  I have a really good friend who recently decided to leave facebook and he's much happier!  I guess it all depends on your perspective.  I use it as a way to communicate what I've learned and am learning along this road---and what I'm up to in terms of my career.
Your support for me is greatly appreciated and I vow to continue making strides in keeping content up on this blog, regularly.

Below is some recent facebook "micro-blogs." Often, we start some good discussions from these--and really, that's why I like to post them!

"The endless offerings promise quick results. I certainly don't argue their claims. If the goal is simply to lose weight; get smaller as quickly as possible, you have some shopping to do! If you're tired of losing and gaining over and over and you want real weight loss success once and for all, you don't need to go shopping. You already own everything you need for the weight loss success of your dreams. It's in you. Your sincere acknowledgment of the power you possess, starts a wonderful transformation. You're choosing to fix the cause instead of simply treating the side effects. Any “solution” that doesn't include this self-examination and acknowledgment is temporary. Like constantly cleaning up a spill without ever capping the source."

"Your transformation is powerful. As you become physically smaller your world becomes bigger. You start noticing things you didn't before. You develop a deeper understanding and appreciation of the road behind, giving you a new perspective on the road ahead. You're able to zero in on the present and make choices, one by one, with a confident patience for results. And it's not just you, because everyone around you is affected by your transformation in some way, and this effect is beyond your control or responsibility. You embody inspiration. You're amazing. You're powerful. This IS you."

"I lost and gained weight for years before shifting my perspective enough to find a very different result. If a different result was desired I had to change my perspective about what it takes for lasting success. Never before had I considered the truth of my behaviors with food. The life-changing epiphany was about focusing on me and the compulsions leading me astray every time, instead of putting all of my energy into the food, exercise and constantly struggling to balance on a high wire of frustration. My relationship with ME improved and the food and exercise naturally followed in line. Trying to do it the other way around, would have been a constant struggle—just like every other time in my past. This time had to be different."

"Weight loss brings freedom physically. More important than this physical freedom, is the mental freedom our good choices provide. To me, it's about doing things that make me feel good about myself and my development. Because really, it comes down to how we feel about ourselves. If we feel bad about ourselves, the effects compound and lead to making more self-defeating poor choices. We have the power to change the momentum with our good choices. The more we make, the better we feel about ourselves—and one leads to another. Suddenly we realize we can choose to be our own best friend. Physical freedom is amazing--especially when it's accompanied and protected by mental freedom. It all starts with one good choice, then another, and..."

"The biggest difference between this time and every other? This time I identified, acknowledged and focused intensely on the number one obstacle to lasting success. It wasn't about finding the right “diet,” it was about finding this critical element completely responsible for sabotaging every other attempt. I'm still learning about this “element.” The study never ends and that's a good thing. Positively transforming an enemy into an ally takes consistent effort. The biggest reward is freedom. And the biggest obstacle was always...ME."

Before I wrap this post--I want to invite you to my redesigned website www.transformationroad.com I hope you'll visit--and if you're on facebook, please click the "like" button at the top of my website homepage.

Thank you for reading!  If you have any questions of me, you can leave them in the comments or privately send me an email to: sean@transformationroad.com

Good Choices,

Sean 

This audio is 27 minutes from my speaking event at the Stillwater, Oklahoma YMCA from January of this year:

Day 1,323 An Acknowledgement and Sincere Thank You

Day 1,323

An Acknowledgement and Sincere Thank You

It's become very easy for me to simply share my daily thoughts on facebook instead of sitting down and writing a blog post.  I've referred to the facebook offerings as "micro-blogs," and they are indeed.  We sometimes start very healthy discussions on that page all about the dynamics involved.  It's quick, it's interesting and it saves me time as I juggle a full time broadcasting career along with developing everything "change" related I desire to experience and share.  You see, at some point I convinced myself that writing this blog meant spending several hours in front of the screen--and it doesn't need to be like that.  It just needs to be current and real.  Each post doesn't have to be 15,000 words.  Quality over quantity, if you will.

Of course--it's the "quality over quantity" rationale I've used to justify my absence from these pages since I ceased daily updates in August 2010.  Isn't it a bit arrogant of me to think I've covered all the bases in the archives?  We have come a long way, a very long way--and for those who have read every single entry, you know--there's value in the archives.  For someone like me, who's truly passionate about what I speak and write, I must not rest on what's already written and explored, because we both know--There's much more to discuss; topics that deserve a little more than a few lines on a facebook status update. I'm constantly learning, appreciating and understanding.

I'm approaching a year and a half since hitting goal.  I've found peace in maintaining, where it's not the struggle I once imagined because my food addiction/compulsive and emotional eating behaviors have transformed into a healthy relationship and understanding.  Yet, instead of transforming this blog into a weight maintenance blog (something I proclaimed I would)--I've used it as a platform for occasionally reinforcing the lessons learned along the way, but little in the way of current day happenings and discipline.

This isn't an apology for lack of current content.  Lord knows I've devoted energy to writing my book, developing and understanding my ideas and dreams, producing, voicing and editing the soon to be available audio version and maintaining myself along the way. But this is an acknowledgement and a sincere thank you for your support and a declaration of continued upcoming content exploring the elements that make keeping the weight off not only possible, but enjoyable.

The truth is: I have a lot to learn. I have much room to grow.  And I couldn't be a more willing student.

This blog is easily the number one component of my success.  It will continue to be a major part of my future.

Good Choices,
Sean

The next Winning Loser update will discuss: My current personal daily habits with food and exercise and the reason why self-sabotage can be so inviting along this road--and what we can do to overcome the threat.  Stay tuned!


A "before" picture with Mom


Oh my word...I DON'T LIKE this one.  Also pictured: My daughter Courtney--who will kill me for publishing this photo and my late brother Shane. The mullet was not a good look for me. ;)


A recent speaking event in Rogers, Arkansas.  Amber joined me for this trip and we had an amazing father-daughter time.  We talked all the way there, met some amazing people at the NWA Mercy Family YMCA and discovered the stunning Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art.


This was snapped at grandma's 85th birthday party recently.  She's currently facing challenges and changes that have developed quickly.  Everyone in our family loves her dearly--and everyone is sharing support, love and prayers for her comfort.

Day 1,246 In Pictures

Day 1,246

In Pictures

The outpouring of support for my book has been absolutely incredible and a true blessing to me on many different levels. "Thank you" doesn't seem like enough to say, really. Trust when I say, "thank you," it comes from a very sincere place in my heart.

Instead of writing a regular blog post, I thought I'd simply let the pictures tell the story of the last few weeks (of course--I may feel the need to add a caption or two...or several along the way).

Custom signed first edition copies are available directly from me by visiting www.transformationroad.com You can also order from Amazon.com or any bookstore can order it for you. My local bookstores, Brace Books and More in Ponca City, OK and Hastings in Stillwater, OK have copies on the shelf. Brace has plenty of signed copies. Also--Ereader editions are available from Kindle, Nook, KOBO, Sony Ereader, and iPad iBooks.

So--here we go...The last few weeks: In Pictures...


Dave Deken of Deke Media snapped this picture on the day of my hometown book signing. I was offering a rare serious pose--although, moments after--I'm pretty sure we all cracked up laughing as a result.


My dear sweet momma. I love her dearly.


With Rachel--aka "Cinnamon" I've known Rach since high school--in fact, she's mentioned in the book.


My grandma with me at my hometown signing...This, wow...an incredible blessing to me.


Aunt Kelli--who is responsible for many of these pictures! Thank you Kelli!


With my girlfriend Kelly at Hastings Signing.


Kelly is much more than a girlfriend. She's been a true blessing in the organizational development of my start-up company "505 Industries."


On the shelf at Hastings-Stillwater


Kelly and Mom at the Hastings signing


One of my favorite things to do is discuss the mental dynamics I've employed along the way with wonderful people like this customer at Hastings.


The very first person in line at Hastings was a very special blast from the past. I knew her as Mrs. Schlimpert when she was my first grade teacher at Pleasant View Elementary School. Today, the lovely Mrs. Janis Davis is a retired educator. She's the teacher who taught me how to read and write...and now she's buying my book...what a cool moment, indeed. Thank you Mrs. Schlimpert!! (I can't help it--it feels strange to call her anything else.)


At the Stillwater YMCA speaking about weight loss at the very Y where I attended summer day camp as a child.






YMCA Book Signing after the speaking event. It was amazing to have so many loving family members attend this event. It was the first time any of them have had a chance to see me speak about weight loss. Looking over and seeing their wonderful faces during the event--was a beautiful moment, indeed.


With my dear Aunt Connie! Aunt Connie and her incredible cake baking talents are talked about early in the book. It was so incredibly awesome to have her here with us!!


My cousin Candi!!


And Candi's sister, my cousin Bobbie Jo!


With the giant version of a giant before picture...

Coming soon--another video from Deke Media of my homecoming weekend. Also coming soon: Although I constantly say "It's not about the food," I'm always asked about what I enjoy eating--in that spirit, I'll soon post a blog full of food pictures, descriptions, and calorie values--Including food pictures of my recent trip to Olive Garden, where I enjoyed the dining experience for slightly over 600 calories. In this upcoming blog post--I'll also offer tips and tricks for getting the most bang for your calorie "buck" even at a place like Olive Garden!

I can't thank you enough for your support. It's allowing me to pursue my truest passion--and that passion is writing and speaking about all of the elements, philosophies, and fundamentals I've discovered and developed along my transformation road. I'm always learning, growing--and constantly giving thanks for the incredible blessings. Your support is a treasured gift to me. Thank you!

If you ever have a question for me--just send it my way: sean@transformationroad.com And I'll get back to you right away.

And I would be honored to have you as a facebook friend! You can find me here: www.facebook.com/seananderson505

The facebook page for the book can be found here: www.facebook.com/transformationroad

My best always, my friends--Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

Day 1,222 Please, Let's Go Behind The Curtain: The SCZ Examined

Day 1,222

Please, Let's Go Behind The Curtain: The SCZ Examined

I have spoken and written about the “Steel Curtain Zone” many times. The SCZ is simply a barrier I have erected between me and my old behaviors where food is concerned.

It was born from necessity when I made my ICD, or “Iron-Clad Decision” to choose change.

This ICD meant I wasn't going to allow any person, place, thing, emotion, circumstance, celebration, misfortune, stress, or whatever else, be used as an excuse for failure. This time, I wasn't letting myself off the hook easily, or ever again.

I have a calorie limit daily and although I choose to eat any type of food I want I cannot violate the Calorie Bank and Trust©. That is an unbreakable SCZ rule and it requires a level of self-honesty in my choices and portions I never knew before this incredible blessing started.

It also forces me to naturally make better nutritional choices, because it's my intent to get the most value from my calorie “dollar.”

I started thinking about how many times I have used the term “Steel Curtain Zone” and how you might get the wrong impression. The term “steel curtain” brings to mind something unmovable, as it should.

However, it was never my intention to lead you or anyone to believe that behind the steel curtain stands a man of steel. Nothing could be further from the truth.

It dawned on me that out there somewhere, reading my words, might be someone else who sees the term steel curtain zone and feels "I could never do that. I don't have the willpower. I'm not made of steel"

If that's you, then you really need to know this right now: I'm not made of steel either.

The curtain is steel, but I'm not.

Maybe you think I'm just playing verbal gymnastics with you, but no, honestly, I'm not.

There is a world of difference between me being a man of steel and me being behind a steel curtain. You see, it is precisely because I am NOT made of steel that I need the steel curtain.

The SCZ protects me.

I am weak. It is recognizing my weakness that has brought me victory. There has been a lot of struggle behind the steel curtain. Inner changes that had to take place in my mind to allow me to change physically. The steel curtain didn't just keep food out, it kept me in.

While food was out there on the other side of the steel curtain, I was left on this side doing whatever I had to do to not violate the steel curtain.

In the end, I discovered this was the REAL battle. Me learning to allow myself to win. The SCZ coupled with the CB&T© made it possible for me to focus on the real inner battle for the first time in my life.

I was no longer battling food. I was no longer fighting the wrong battle, and I didn't have to, because I was safe behind the steel curtain.

I had to watch myself and learn all the different ways my inner self would try to rip away the safety of the steel curtain.

There, safe behind the curtain, I was finally free to learn about myself. Learn my weaknesses AND my strengths. I don't know if this helps you, but I know it helps me to look at this. Mainly I just wanted to let you know and remind me, that I am not a man of steel.

If I ever actually believe I'm a man of steel, I would quickly become lost again.

Before this transformation I saw myself as helpless, hopeless, and a lost cause. I believe one can be just as lost on the other side of the road if they start thinking of themselves as invincible.

I know that I am not and that is why I, Sean A. Anderson, a mere mortal, still need the “Steel Curtain Zone.”

Thank you for reading, goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

It would be an honor to personally ship you a signed copy of my book "Transformation Road-My Trip To Over 500 Pounds and Back," available for purchase directly from my website www.transformationroad.com

Also--I would be thrilled for you to join me on Facebook. My personal page is www.facebook.com/seananderson505 and I hope you'll also "like" the book page: www.facebook.com/transformationroad

Day 1,220 Back To Basics

Day 1,220

Back To Basics

I've written a bunch of blog posts over the last few years. Some were short (Seriously, there was a time...Okay, come on---stop laughing!!!), Some were epic, some were so full of different thoughts and ideas, it was probably hard to maintain focus on any one subject (I know it was often that way for me). And some are my very favorite posts, because they were paramount in my understanding of me. Day 327, Day 135, Day 60...all important marks along this road. The night Courtney burned her girdle, the "Wrong Battle" analogy...and the pictures, oh my---at some point, and I'm not sure when it started, I felt the need to post 137 pictures at the end of every blog post. And if I could also add a video in there or an audio clip of something, I'd do that too.

Well, tonight, I'm not doing what I've done lately. I'm not talking about the book (okay, maybe a little at the end of this post--I mean, I am promoting a book these days!), and I'm not posting a single picture with this entry.

I'm not railing against the "industry" or making comments about the content of mainstream shows and magazines. Nope, not at all. Tonight is a back to basics approach, where we just talk. Uh---Okay, I guess we're not talking really...but I'm just writing and you can comment later, if you so desire.

From the very beginning of this trek, I've tried to keep the fundamentals very simple. The food and exercise, from my experiences--could be made to be so crazy complicated, it would frustrate and risk me wanting to give up. So I kept it simple. I never wrote down my daily food, because I didn't want to mess with the paper work. This is an individual preference, because I have friends who MUST write everything down. My attitude was simple: Compared to the amount of food I was eating to maintain at over 500 pounds for so long, eating only 1500 calories should be easy to keep track in my head. And for me, it was. I had a running total every day and I always knew where I stood.

Exercise was kept as simple as possible. Too simple, you might say. I've never been a P90X'er kind of guy. I'm more a "walk in the park" and "Okay, I guess I'll try to jog a little" kind of guy. And that was okay, right, and perfect for me.

Could I be some massive muscle bound guy by now? Sure, if that's what I would have chosen. But it wasn't. I know, I know...If you've read every day of this blog, then you remember my often times exhausting tone of disappointment over my lack of discipline in the weight room. The truth is, I'm not, nor will I ever be the perfect beach body looking guy with abs of steel. I'm just me. And that's all I want to be.

Will I ever have skin removal surgery? Probably not. I once talked all about how I would and how I deserved it, and perhaps I do. But I really don't care if I ever have the procedure.

For the first time in my entire life, I'm finding a beautiful self-acceptance and peace about who I am, what I'm about, and where I'm headed. I'm loved by the close friends and family around me and by wonderful people all over the world---and it's truly a blessing. Most importantly, this journey has brought me to a place where I love myself more and more everyday. Is it a full embrace? No. It's kind of a warm embrace with an awkward ending--Because I'm still growing and learning, about me, and about these changes making my life what it is today.

How do I maintain? The question has come up often since hitting goal in November 2010. The answer is: I eat normal portions of what I love and I exercise occasionally (and always striving to change the word occasionally to regularly to "loving running" or something like that...).

There's of course, much more to it, and I'll get into it on my next blog post.

Thank you for reading, goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

P.S.--You can pre-order your personally signed and shipped copy of "Transformation Road--My Trip To Over 500 Pounds and Back," on my website. My personal inventory is currently sold out, but I'm receiving a refill before the end of the week. At that time, another shipment will be mailed--including the five wonderful people who's pre-orders are waiting and of course, your copy. Coming soon: ereader versions and an audio version! I just voiced Chapter 505 and Chapter 1 tonight! Very excited about the release of these options!

Day 1,217 It Can't Be Installed Like A Computer Program, Reviews, and More!

Day 1,217

It Can't Be Installed Like A Computer Program, Reviews, and More!

A long time reader writes:
"No worries Sean, there will be shows and magazines for you someday."

Before moving further into this blog post, let me clarify something. My last blog post wasn't me whining and complaining or throwing a jealous fit about not making the cut for a major television show or magazine issue.

It wasn't about me. It was my experience/perception of how the weight loss industry seemingly controls mainstream media with its magic wand of cash. Now, with that said--do I love the show mentioned? Yes. Would I jump at the chance to share my story with their viewers? Of course! Would I absolutely faint into my morning egg white omelet if the magazine mentioned ever decided to feature me? Yes, naturally.

But not in a "fame seeking" kind of way. Simply in a "how many more people can I reach with what I've learned along the way?" kind of way.

You see--My goal, my mission, my passion in life is pure and simple. And it's all about sharing my experiences and philosophies. It just so happens, these messages are not yet attached to a billion dollar company capable of writing huge advertising checks to mainstream media outlets. And my simplistic yet deeper understanding of the dynamics involved in my liberation do not require special products, plans, or anything in which you can affix a price tag. Featuring what I have to say, might very well offend one of these giant check writers, and people's livelihoods are at stake at that point.

The wonderful thing is, I understand! I've been a member of the broadcasting media for nearly a quarter of a century (oh my, that makes me feel really old). When a listener hears me voicing a commercial detailing the amazing flavor and awesomeness of various restaurant menu items, it might sometimes sound very strange and contrary. But it's my day job. It's part of what I do. And to me, I know from experience--it all comes down to our personal choices. It's not the restaurant industry at fault for the obesity epidemic--it's always, every time...our individual choices. Very few menu items exist that can't be enjoyed in a reasonable portion size--in a normal way. It was always my internal influence that turned what could have been reasonable and manageable, into crazy-unmanageable--and over-board excess. My choices...every time.

I'll keep on doing what I do---writing what I write, saying what I say, delivering my message the way I do...and the only thing that will ever change it, is my ability to grow and learn along the way. Because I'm always learning, that never stops. I'm not an expert on anything or anyone but me. I'm not a weight loss guru. I'm a weight loss "you-ru," because these changes I write and speak about must come from within each of us---it's not about me, it's about you. You and your amazing power to choose change. And when you do choose change...try to put a price check on it. It's very hard...because it's priceless and relatively unique for each and every one of us.

I owe a big thank you to the many family and friends who often show up in these blog posts and of course in my book. I have many loved ones and I'm eternally grateful for their love and support. It's no secret, many of my friends and loved ones struggle just like me, with obesity and all of the dynamics involved. A few wonderful people have lately expressed a puzzled perception of how I can be so close to my family and friends, and while I have seemingly overcome, many of them still struggle. As if my family and friends individual success is somehow guaranteed by virtue of our close relationship. Let me explain a thing or two, please...

We're all at different points along this road. And we all have different experiences, emotions, behaviors, likes, dislikes, and the list can go on and on. We're each a snowflake, different and beautiful in our own wonderful way. There's only one person in the world who can do it for anyone. It's not Chris Powell, or Jillian, or Bob, or Richard Simmons, or me, or my book, or any product or service glaring from the billboards along this road. This one person is very easy to find but often difficult to connect with deeply, because of the conditioning developed over our individual lifetime experiences. Easy to find, by simply looking into any mirror, harder to understand without a concentrated effort of self-discovery.

So why do I do and share what I do? Because I have hope. I hope and pray that my experience and example can shift the perspective of someone just enough--that they might find their own "click" within themselves. Because it must come from within. No person or product can do it for anyone, ever. And if they do, it's most always, without fail--temporary.

When someone, like me, discovers the answers do not exist outside of themselves, that's when amazing transformations take place. And once this epiphany happens for someone--look out, because their transformation is as sure as night turns to day. It's empowering in the most fantastic way possible.

The internal changes for each of us, can't be installed like a computer program. If that were the case, I'd have IT specialist all over it, designing the perfect program available for instant download---and I'd become a multi-gazillionare overnight and the World's obesity epidemic would fade away into a distant era in history. Wow, wouldn't that be amazing? It can't be done.

And it can't be done, for anyone, by anyone else other than themselves.

What we can do is this: We can focus on ourselves and our individual transformations. We can write and speak about what we're learning along the way and how it applies to our situation. We simply do what we do---and as we do, people close to us or in tune with our message---may or may not pick up and relate in their own way, and being "tuned in" just might shift something---and then, their personal "click" might happen. Or not.

And it doesn't matter one way or another, because we love them regardless of size or scale or someone's ability to "get it." And since it can't be installed like the latest version of Windows, it gives us peace. Because the only person we're ultimately responsible for and able to help, is staring back at us in the mirror.

Thank you for reading, goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean

Reviews have been pouring in for my first book "Transformation Road-My Trip To Over 500 Pounds and Back," and I'm beyond grateful for the incredible words from these amazing people. You've given me a tremendous gift, thank you! Here are some:

Judy H.D.--

"Sean, just finished your book last night... read it in a day, I just couldn't put it down. I could hear your voice while reading it, so it was like you were talking to ME. I cried within the first 10 pages. There are so many things I could connect with. I was a 'husky' child. And I was also a single mom, and I have a mama's boy who is 26 years old now. Oh gosh, I could go on and on and on about how much I love your book, your story. (and I might lol) Thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this, for sharing this. There are so many people I wish would read your book now, Sean. They may not feel the hopelessness of never losing weight when they read your words. The words 'thank you' just don't do it.:)"

Paula L.--

"rec'd my book in the mail today! so exciting! read the first 148 pages, taking only a break for dinner, and putting the kiddo's to bed. really enjoying it!"

Cathy L.--

"Hi Sean, I just had to write you a quick note. I just opened up my package that contained your book. I am so excited. I almost want to go home sick just to start reading it, but I won't. I have been following you since AOL did a pop up story of you a few years ago. You are amazing. What you have done with your life, and you have helped so many of us struggling with the weight problem you have given us hope. Keep up the much success. Thanks for everything."

Michelle R.D.--

"Sean, I finished reading your book this morning. It was awesome!! Once I started reading, I couldn't put it down. I would highly recommend this book to anyone with any kind of addiction. As I read, even though our lives were different, I could start to see the excuses in my life that have stopped me from losing weight. It had to be so hard for you to reveal such intimate details of your life. But that's where the honesty part comes in and total accountability. You are such an inspiration!! I believe this book will be a #1 best seller!! I wish you the best of luck! I look forward to reading your blog. I plan on starting with Day One tonight."

Wendy Landes--Personal and Group Fitness Trainer

"I just finished ur book in a car ride to northeast Oklahoma! It is absolutely amazing! So moving, engaging and right on point! I am ecstatic about ur accomplishments and even prouder to have u as a friend! Congrats…"

Gloria J.—(after watching the quirky little video found below and reading the book)

"Good morning to you; I just cut up two apples, squeezed lemon juice all over them and sprinkled cinnamon and Splenda over them...got my "apple pie" ready for my lunch. Getting ready for work. Thank you so much for this idea. It is scrumptious!!!! Yum!! Have a great day. I finished your book last night. Awesome, awesome!!!! Thank you..for sharing your story and reaching out to others and allowing us to keep in touch with you. I have lived in Ponca for 7 years but never heard about you until I saw the ad in the Ponca City News. Thank you Ponca City News!!!!"

The book is available by order from any bookstore, amazon.com, amazon in Europe and other countries, Flipkart.com in India, and various other outlets. You can order personalized signed copies directly from me--shipped to you by me, from my website www.transformationroad.com

Coming soon: Kindle, Nook, and three other ereader formats. Plus, an audio version I get to voice!!

Combining my broadcasting career with my new career as a writer was destined to create this: "Sean In The Morning" interviewing Author Sean A. Anderson (Note: A delicate balance of humor and truth can be heard in the below audio clip):

More photos from my recent book signing at Brace Books and More! Photo credits: Cathy Cole

Some more photos from my personal collection:

Triumphant stance in front of marquee!

Finally holding it my hands!

At my dining room table signing pre-orders. Kelly snapped this shot when I wasn't looking...genuine happiness on that face there, my friend!

Amber is a pro at organizing the packing and sealing of the shipments. She supervised Courtney, Bradley, and Dylan too---and they all did an amazing job! Thank you!

Ready for the post office!

On the back dock waiting for post pick-up. The initial shipping of pre-orders took an hour and a half inside, in front of a waiting mid-day crowd who now, thanks to me and your orders, only had one postal employee to handle the rush. My apologies!! Really wasn't a good time to take up a counter position! Great thing is this: No reason for a future back-log again. I'll be able to ship as I receive new orders.

A recent dinner I prepared for Kelly and me. It was incredible, if I do say so myself!! And the calorie value was awesome! Just under 350 calories on this plate!

Always keeping a supply of snacks I love ready in my man-purse---I mean, European Shoulder Bag--enables me to navigate my day without feeling famished at the end of the afternoon!

I'll be featured on www.blogtalkradio.com Monday January 9th with Cyrus Webb and his show, "Conversations LIVE." The show airs at 5pm central, 3pm Pacific, and 6pm Eastern. Here's the link.

To watch the "What's In The Bag?" You Tube Video, just click the link below:

http://youtu.be/Imtzdr9C07k