July 11th, 2014 The Difference Between Taking Advantage and Taking Good Care

July 11th, 2014 The Difference Between Taking Advantage and Taking Good Care

The keys to a successful day for me in the food department is good planning. I practice the "Three P's," Planning, Preparing and Packing. Today was one of those days were the "Three P's" was critically important. With a 10am-2pm location broadcast a short 45 minutes after my post-show prep time, I knew there wouldn't be any time to "throw something together" or run home to prepare something for lunch. I also knew that if I didn't plan, prepare and pack, I would likely be super hungry during the lunch time broadcast and resisting the free food offerings would be considerably more difficult.

I expected the client to be grilling hot dogs, hamburgers or brats--or ordering pizza for everyone. Instead, around noon time the client offered to buy everyone burgers and fries from Freddie's Frozen Custard and Steak Burgers. Freddie's is a regional fast food chain founded in Wichita, Kansas, about an hour North of Ponca City, Oklahoma. When they arrived in town, the reception was overwhelmingly positive. They have incredible food, not calorie friendly by any stretch, but very delicious! Thanks to my good planning today, by the time the offer came for a free burger and fries, I had already enjoyed my wonderful lunch (see Tweet picture below). Saying "no, thank you" is much easier in the absence of hunger and desires to binge. It wasn't too long ago, I might have eaten mine and accepted their offer too!

By mid-afternoon I was back at the studio finishing up some things and cutting the rest of a cantaloupe I had in the break room fridge. I didn't want it to spoil over the weekend and I was in the mood for a snack anyway. I finished my work and headed out to Silvertop Farm to pick up some fresh lamb chops. I've never tasted lamb. When I discovered Silvertop Farms had a freezer go down and now they were frantically selling their stock of fresh, farm raised lamb at 50% off, I couldn't resist the opportunity to try it on the cheap.

I picked up the lamb and before I could leave, the owner of the farm (named Mary--as in, Mary had a little lamb--okay--it was funny to me) asked if I could produce and air some kind of commercial expressing the urgency of their situation. They needed to sell the lamb now before it completely thawed. I hurried back to the studio to write, produce and get their urgent commercial on the air. It worked beautifully too. I spoke with the sales director of Silvertop Farms shortly after 8pm and their phones hadn't stopped ringing with 80% of callers making purchases. It was a great "radio works" story!

I didn't make it home until almost 5pm and by then I was exhausted. My exhaustion doesn't have anything to do with the quality of sleep I'm getting, like it was not too long ago, now it's all about quantity. My schedule and time management skills do not work well together most days and nights. I needed a nap this afternoon, even though it was almost 5pm. I took it--setting my alarm for 6:30pm, then oversleeping it by an hour and a half. A three hour nap in the middle of my evening didn't do anything positive for my schedule, but it sure felt good on my body. I missed my window of opportunity for a Y workout and after a late dinner decided this would be a no workout day after all.

The positive side of this is: I'm having incredible amounts of patience and compassion for myself these days. During my initial weight loss, there wasn't an "excuse" or circumstance big enough to preempt my daily workout, especially during the first year. Looking back, I realize how unforgiving I was and how it certainly gave me consistency--but it also gave me reason to be exceptionally hard on myself at the mere thought of having a rest day. I'm realizing now, that what I'm doing is something I'll be doing for the rest of my life and I'm not striving for perfection, I'm striving for consistency--and I don't mean specific consistency in my daily workout schedule and food planning, I mean consistency in my overall dedication to taking extraordinary care of myself. I have that and taking tonight off from the gym or walking trail doesn't change this commitment.

I no longer have reason to beat myself up for perceived shortcomings. The truth is, I'm doing exceptionally well, above and beyond what I thought was possible not too long ago. Could I use some tweaks? Of course! If I could engineer my schedule to finish everything each day and be in bed by 9:30pm, that would be phenomenal. If I would start drinking about 50% more water than I do now (most days struggle to drink 8 cups), I would be doing my metabolism and body, in general, wonders. But all in time, all in time. I shall proceed with a confident patience and a bendable self-compassion, both of which are tempered with an acute sense of honesty, a total and complete realness and that's where the difference is found between taking advantage and taking good care.

Time for the meal Tweets! I'm not including snack tweets. Only breakfast, lunch and dinner tweets here--if you want to see the rest of the food/exercise and "in the moment" live tweeting throughout the day, you're welcome to follow my Twitter feed: www.twitter.com/seanaanderson If you're interested in seeing the food and exercise diary in written form with the bonus nutritional breakdowns, friend me on MyFitnessPal, username: SeanAAnderson. You do not need a Twitter account to view my Twitter page, however you will need a MyFitnessPal account to gain access to my MFP profile and daily data.

Dry grilling this pita breakfast sandwich on a Foreman Grill transforms it into a quesadilla! W/yellow apple. 364 cal pic.twitter.com/xVMz1Xb6AS
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 11, 2014

Lunch on location: Turkey slices, guac W-1/2 srv light sr crm, gala apple, LC wedge, 3/4 srv rice chips. 528 cal. pic.twitter.com/wBXqkS7dgy
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 11, 2014

Grlldchick. brst (7oz), pineapple (6.5oz), avocado (68g), light sr crm(15g), tomto, onion, rice chips (28g). 601 cal. pic.twitter.com/GXzERoe6xL
— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) July 12, 2014

Thank you for reading and for your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

July 7th, 2014 Glad I Made That Decision

July 7th, 2014 Glad I Made That Decision

I had a wonderful morning with mom on my show today. She was delightful. I enjoyed preparing her a nice breakfast, identical to mine--and just sharing the meal and coffee together with casual conversation, cherished moments, you know? One of the coolest stories came at the very end of the show. I mentioned Garth Brooks has scheduled a press conference for Thursday at 11am central on his website GarthBrooks.com. So we started talking about Garth's early days around my hometown. Garth attended college in Stillwater and at one point during his college days, he played his guitar anywhere anyone would listen. One particular occasion was the annual Noon Lions Club fireworks display on July 4th at what was known as Lewis Stadium (Now Boone Pickens Stadium). Garth was the entertainment for the crowd of a few thousand. It was just him and his guitar. He played while everyone waited for it to be dark enough for the fireworks to begin. His performance was basically background music, a mild warm up to the spectacular fireworks everyone was anticipating. While he played, mom turned to me and my Aunt Kelli and said, "That kid is going to make it someday." Wow, was she right or what?? If you go to a Garth Brooks concert today, you'll still see plenty of fireworks because it's a part of his show, but it's not the main attraction anymore.

We stopped to see Noah for a few minutes before we hit the road back to Stillwater. That little guy lights up our world. It was a nice drive back, an opportunity for more conversation and reflection of a wonderful, albeit short visit.

I hurried back home in order to get into the Y for a good elliptical workout, then home to prepare dinner. Sometimes I'm a little too efficient with my calorie counting. My late dinner was a lot of food for a low 414 calories. I knew how late it was and I was certain it would be my #lastfoodofday, yet upon entering the specifics into MyFitnessPal, I realized I had fallen 339 calories short for the day. I wasn't hungry throughout the day. We (Mom and me) enjoyed a big 268 calorie afternoon snack and still, I fell short. Okay--nice "problem" to have, I suppose. This is correctable with some closer attention to calorie management earlier in the day. I realize it is something I can't allow to become habit because the body needs fuel. As I start various additions to my exercise routine (spinning classes-resistance strength training), I plan on adding some calories to the budget. Not being afraid to make bigger calorie management decisions earlier in the day will become very important.

I'll tell you, I honestly didn't feel like working out tonight. I was tired, irritable and feeling kind of off. If I hadn't taken an "off" day yesterday it would have been an easy decision to make today the "off" day. Instead, I sat in my car looking at the YMCA building and coming up with various justifications as to how not working out for the second day in a row would be okay. Finally, I called myself out and made my way in and onto the elliptical. As soon as the music started playing, I was in a better place. I finished the workout and felt even better having overcome the initial mental resistance. I'm glad I made that decision.

I also made a decision to go to bed before finishing this post. I was just too tired to finish before bed. This is definitely not a habit I will allow very often. But occasionally it is the correct option and sleep wins.

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean

July 4th, 2014 Independence Day and The Brotherhood of The Traveling Pants

July 4th, 2014 Independence Day and The Brotherhood of The Traveling Pants

Sleeping in has been a wonderful thing the past couple of days. It feels awesome to sleep "until I'm done," but it also has some drawbacks. It tilts my day, pushes everything back and I'm fairly good at adjusting as needed, but at a certain point I'd like to apply a little more focus on maintaining a better schedule. I'm okay right now. I say that in a self-compassionate kind of way because I'm doing quite a bit lately to change for the better and it's okay if I don't correct everything all at once. You know what I mean?

Letting go of the pursuit of perfection, instead aiming for consistency--has been a fantastic perspective to embrace. Did you know I've gone over my calorie budget a couple times recently? Granted, it hasn't been by much--but there was a point in my initial weight loss where I would have been wrought with self-loathing and personal disappointment. And for what? Because I "broke the bank" by a handful of calories? Allowing myself to be okay today and more than okay--to still feel fabulous about myself while being perfectly imperfect is a wonderful thing.

I couldn't be more thrilled with how things are going these days. The weigh day Wednesday was amazing for me. 51 pounds in 10 weeks is exceptional. I know this average cannot sustain itself indefinitely and I'm okay with this truth. I actually found myself looking at a calendar, projecting an average loss of 3 pounds per week (which shouldn't be expected) and was slightly disappointed to discover that even at that unrealistic loss rate, it'll take me approximately 9 more months to get back to what I considered a healthy weight once upon a time. April 2015! I was so focused; zeroed in on this 9 months thing--and that's assuming I remain consistent--and it's not even taking into account the very real dynamic of plateaus...Then I had to STOP. Was I forgetting some valuable epiphanies I discovered along the way during my initial weight loss?? I wrote this on Day 189:

"Time doesn't really care what we do. Time keeps moving right along like clockwork, uh, it is clockwork. No matter what we do in the next twelve months, good or bad, it's still going to be March 22, 2010 in one year. Time is a constant, that's a pretty simple statement. But it's one I really had to wrap myself around. I had to dig deep to battle my impatient personality. I finally realized that I really needed to forget about time. Time doesn't need me to worry about it, it'll keep moving right along without any help or hindrance. Instead of focusing on how much time it's going to take, I had to focus on what I needed to do each day to succeed. And then when I do take the time to notice the time, I'm happy with the progress I've made and continue to make. It's day 189 by golly, 189! I've lost over 131 pounds! That's almost three quarters of a pound a day! You can tell that I don't really pay much attention to time because on March 15th's blog I didn't mention the fact that it was exactly the sixth month mark of this journey. It totally escaped me. Will it take a year total to reach my goal? Maybe it takes another year from now? Who cares! I'll be there when I get there, then I'll look at the clock and marvel at how far I've come in such a relatively short time. I didn't grow to over 500 pounds in a year or a year and a half, but I can get to my ideal weight in that time? I guess time really is on my side huh? We've all been in a situation where we were watching the seconds tick by on a clock conveniently positioned near our face. Maybe you were in class, or in a doctors office, or at work. When you constantly focus on the clock it can feel like forever! That's why I don't. Time will do it's thing, and I'll do mine, we'll meet up later in a triumphant celebration of accomplishment."

 Okay, I'm better now. The thing I must remember is, the time required to get myself back to a healthy weight isn't a deal breaker here. It seriously doesn't apply. What I'm doing in taking better care of me is something I will do for the rest of my life, however much time that is.  I mean, really...what can I do? To be discouraged about the length of time needed to do something like many of us are doing here, suggests a misaligned perspective. What I'm doing isn't a means to an end, it's a means to a better life, forever. I've written extensively about having a "confident patience" along the way. A confident patience is all about doing the best we can today and letting our focus stay on today...and understanding that time and our consistency will eventually meet up with the goals we've established.

I bought a new pair of jeans a few weeks ago. At my highest "regain weight" (394) I was uncomfortably squeezing into size 50's. This new pair is size 46. I was slightly disappointed three weeks ago when I got them home and they didn't fit. I laid them aside and reminded myself it was simply a matter of time and they would fit. And today they did, comfortably.

It felt amazing to button and zip these jeans today. It was an NSV (non-scale victory) and it came at the perfect time.

It was Independence Day here in America. It's a day when we celebrate our nation's birthday and we give thanks for the freedoms we enjoy. The broadcasting company I work for is the official station for the choreographed fireworks music at the big Ponca City Oklahoma display. We set up hours before, broadcasting all evening leading up to the actual fireworks. My plan was to get my exercise in tonight by walking around the lake. I did this and did it without needing to constantly pull up the bigger jeans. This new pair was a wonderful confidence booster.

A couple of months ago, you might remember, I made a special trip to Wichita to buy some clothes. I hated to spend money on clothes I wouldn't be able to wear very long--but it was absolutely necessary. I couldn't squeeze into the size 50's any longer. I bought a brand new pair of Levi's relaxed fit, size 52's. They've been worn all of two times.  If you want them, and you can wear these--I'll send them to you. Simply send an email to transformation.road@gmail.com with your mailing address. I'll ship them right away.  First request gets them, so don't hesitate! You do not need to compensate me for shipping. I'm paying it forward. A fellow blogger once shipped me a giant box full of his old jeans. We'll call this "The Brotherhood of The Traveling Pants." 

I planned well tonight, packing a "sack dinner" for my broadcast. I declined three offers for free food at the broadcast, two of which came from the same group of wonderful listeners who were set up not far from our broadcast vehicle. "Hey, we've got plenty of food over there: Hamburgers, bratwurst--more than we can eat, help yourself!" Learning how to politely decline is critical for someone like me. I've always been someone who often accommodates even at his own expense. Will they be upset with me if I say no thank you? Will they think I'm being stuck up if I don't accept their invitation? It's all baloney!! My response: "I sincerely appreciate the offer, but I have all I'll need tonight. Thank you though!" Easy. No further explanation needed. It doesn't matter what they walked away thinking because it wouldn't be a reflection of me, only of them--if they indeed took my decline personally. I was direct and polite. That's good enough for me.

Working with the City of Ponca City, the pyrotechnics crew and a producer back in the studio, this year's choreographed display went off without a hitch. I was so relieved! My daughter Amber and her boyfriend joined me for the display. Courtney thought about coming and bringing my adorable grandson Noah, but stayed home in fear the loudness might frighten the little man. Considering his grandpa (me) cried at large fireworks displays until he was almost four years old, it was probably a well measured decision. :)

It's exceptionally late. I spent some time visiting with Amber after the event, exchanged some weight loss support text messages, enjoyed my #lastfoodofday (apple and Laughing Cow Light Creamy Swiss) and surfed the net for a little while before writing tonight's edition. Tomorrow is another day where I can sleep in as late as I desire. When 4:30am Monday rolls around, I need to be ready to take my schedule off of "tilt!" I may need to consider this a little more carefully tomorrow night.

If you're interested in following my Twitter account, simply visit www.twitter.com/seanaanderson It's basically me Live-Tweeting my food and exercise each day, complete with photos of everything I eat, including calorie counts. It's simply an accountability tool for me. It's not meant to be an example or suggestion. It simply is what it is--and what it's been to me is fun!

Thank you for reading and for your incredible support,
Strength,
Sean  

June 20th, 2014 The Guacamole Rules

June 20th, 2014 The Guacamole Rules

Getting to bed earlier last night made a profound difference in me today. Where before, my sleep apnea prevented me from feeling rested no matter how many hours I "slept," now, if I'm feeling exhausted it's me and my time management skills to blame. This is a good place to be. Because last night proved I can do it. I can get to bed at a decent hour and still accomplish all I'm requiring of myself.

I had a great food day, a wonderful workout and the minor struggles of yesterday were nowhere to be found. I know they're lurking, out there--ready to jump from the shadows at anytime. The comforting thought is found in how I faced those challenges yesterday. I might have flinched, but I didn't give. It was empowering to overcome; felt really good.

I've been eating a lot of homemade guacamole lately. I had a fresh guacamole omelet this morning and I enjoyed some again for lunch. Actually, it's one of those foods I must watch myself around. It's on the list with peanut butter (or any nut butter), cottage cheese, mixed nuts or peanuts and several other things. The difference is, I have some strict boundaries with my guacamole consumption. Number one--I must weigh and measure all ingredients. Number 2--I only make enough for one meal. I don't make a bunch and store it for later--that would be awesomely convenient, but I'm afraid I would keep going back again and again.  Depending on my calorie budget, I'll either do a half avocado or a whole, depends on the size and weight in grams.  Avocado is calorie dense good food. I know 100g is 160 calories. As long as I know the count, then I can build a nice serving within my limits--adding some light sour cream (1/2 serving), diced tomatoes, onions and a dash or two of ground black pepper and salt--and it's perfect for my taste! But again--I'm very adamant about my personal boundaries concerning this food. It's healthy. My past behaviors with it wasn't.

I suppose I could do the same with peanut butter if I were willing to make my own fresh, every time. Of course I would need to lock up the peanuts and have someone else hold the key. ;)

After working out without my music last night, I made sure to have not one, but two pair of ear buds ready to go today. I have an incredible talent for interpreting lyrics to fit my situation. It's funny. Whatever the song, I can take it to a personal level real fast. Tonight was the Imagine Dragons "Radioactive." I'm convinced it's about recovery from addiction. "I'm breaking in and shaping up, and checking out on the prison bus. This is it, the Apocalypse, whoa... I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones, enough to make my system blow. Welcome to the new age, to the new age, welcome to the new age, to the new age. Whoa Oh, oh , oh , oh, Whoa, oh, oh , oh, I'm radioactive, radioactive." To me, the "Apocalypse" is a metaphor for the damage and havoc one creates while hitting rock bottom. The "new age" suggest recovery in a post "apocalyptic" existence and the "radioactive" suggests an awareness that one is forever affected by their transformation in this "new age." My brain immediately zeroes in and makes all the calculations needed to arrive at these wild conclusions. I could be totally wrong, of course. And it wouldn't be the first time!

I interviewed Christopher Cross once and I told him how much I loved his song "Sailing." I briefly described for him what I took from the powerful lyrics and his reply: "I hate to shatter your interpretation, but it's literally about sailing."

Oh well, okay then!! Lyrical interpretation is a fun exercise in creativity. If I had more time, I'd analyze Culture Clubs "Karma Chameleon," but it's bed time for this guy.

I'm about to eat my #lastfoodofday and maybe watch something fun on Netflix before bed. I will be sleeping in as long and late as I can tomorrow. Oh yes I will!

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean

May 29th, 2014 It's About Time

May 29th, 2014 It's About Time

Last night I discussed time management issues and today I did okay until I decided a nap at 4pm was a good idea. In hindsight I should have pulled myself together, grabbed some fruit and hit the door for the Y.  I was tired today. Not because I didn't sleep well, because I didn't get enough. It's sometimes difficult to "listen" to my body because with all of the sleep issues over the last three years, my body constantly thinks sleep is the best choice in almost any situation.

I set the alarm for 5:15pm. The plan was simple and good. Up at 5:15, shoes on and to the YMCA for a workout--stop by Irene's house where my daughters and Noah were having a dinner get together for some quality visiting time--grab some Hawaiian Fajitas from the little Mexican place across town--help a friend with uploading pictures to their facebook page--write--then bed no later than 10pm. That was the plan.

But the nap was good.  It was so good, in fact, I slept soundly through my alarm at 5:15. And with the phone literally less than a foot from my face, I slept through seven missed phone calls and ten text messages. This might have been my body trying to tell me something.  I just wish it could have waited until after the planned evening to go into such a deep and restful sleep.  I woke at 8:30pm after a 4.5 hour "nap," completely disoriented--having a quick panic attack thinking I had overslept for work, then realizing what had happened. I sat on the edge of the bed doing my routine post sleep self analysis.  Wow, that was deep and amazing. I immediately recognized this feeling of fantastic--the feeling of good, healthy, solid sleep. On one hand I was in awe of how wonderful I felt physically and on the other I was completely upset with myself for allowing it to happen off schedule, so to speak.

I gathered my thoughts and decided to make it to the YMCA for a good workout on the killer elliptical (name I've given it), then straight home to cook something for dinner. Then I realized I needed some groceries. Hmmmm... Okay, revised plan--workout, groceries, home and cooking followed by writing then back to bed.

I ate dinner at 11:30pm.  I combined my dinner with my last snack--the calories were a little pricey at 749 total--but it was within my budget and it served as my #lastfoodofday. And it was quality. I whipped up some homemade guacamole using a small avocado, onions, tomatoes, ground black pepper and a serving of lite sour cream.  I made a 4 oz lean hamburger patty, put it on a 100 calorie sandwich thin and topped it with a slice of mozzarella and some of the guacamole. I added a pear and a serving of all natural brown rice chips.
The brown rice chips thing is a test. I wanted something to dip into my homemade guacamole. It was the only bag I could find that didn't contain sugar of some sort. The all natural sweet potato chips I wanted contain cane sugar. Now, the test is--can I have a "bag" of anything like this in my apartment and maintain sanity and portion control?  Stay tuned! 

I called all of the people who had been expecting me this evening and apologized for my absence. Everyone understood. I made sure to talk to Amber and Courtney and Amber even put the phone up to little Noah's ear. She told me he smiled big upon hearing my voice. That made me feel better.

I realized tonight how I've drastically cut down on eating out. I would have to go through my Twitter feed and count to be sure--but I know for certain it's been more than a week. I'm having a bunch of fun planning and preparing my meals, so I guess I haven't missed it really. I had planned on eating out tonight with those amazing Hawaiian Fajitas--and despite my revised schedule and plan to cook, I tried to grab them after my workout. When I pulled up to the restaurant at 9:55pm, it was obvious they were already closed. Maybe sometime over the weekend. It was back to my revised plan.

What am I going to do about my schedule? It's a struggle for sure. The elements involved are very important to me and my recovery. As upset as I was with myself, I did stop it before I started being abusive to myself. That's a major plus. I didn't dwell on it too long or allow it to influence me into making some bad choices in a rush. I could have grabbed a Subway sandwich, skipped the workout, finished blog and then dropped in bed trying to force myself back to sleep. But I knew better and wanted better for myself, despite the circumstances.

I'm proud of the way I handled this situation. I didn't let it negatively affect my resolve and that's serious progress. It still leaves me in a position to evaluate and correct my time management plan. But as a supportive friend said after reading my live-tweets through it all-- Rome wasn't built in a day. I've experienced a dramatic turnabout in the last 6 weeks. It's been a wonderful blessing and answer to a prayer, or many prayers actually. I've had life altering epiphanies that have had and continue to have positive deep seeded behavior changing effects. I'm happy. I'm sometimes burning the candle at both ends and struggling to define some self imposed boundaries to correct the sleep schedule--but I'm making it an important focus and most importantly, I'm not giving up in any way, shape or form.

Follow my Twitter feed for "in the moment" live tweeting of food and exercise each day. I also use the twitter feed to occasionally flex my sense of humor. It's fun! @SeanAAnderson

Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean