Saturday, June 30, 2018

June 30th, 2018 Relax

June 30th, 2018 Relax

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Today has been a day of recovery from yesterday. I did a location broadcast today and weather coverage later in the afternoon--but mostly I've tried to take it easy and simply relax. I visited with mom for a little while this evening, too.

I'm tired. I'm glad the weather is over for tonight because I'm hitting the pillow soon and hoping to sleep in gloriously tomorrow morning.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, June 29, 2018

June 29th, 2018 Day Is Done

June 29th, 2018 Day Is Done

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Today's schedule was a little on the extreme side. It turned out to be an eighteen hour day on too little sleep. A day like today is rare, thank goodness--because I couldn't function if it were the norm. I made sure to take care of my food plan and stay connected. The day consisted of my morning show, two location broadcasts, and an emcee event tonight at a big reunion. I'm so glad this day is done!

Spent.




















I have a short broadcast tomorrow starting at 11am--but that's just fine, I'll be sleeping in very well between now and then.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, June 28, 2018

June 28th, 2018 Core Qualities

June 28th, 2018 Core Qualities

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Losing weight didn't make me a better person. Maintaining weight doesn't make me a better person. Gaining weight didn't make me a worse person. Maintaining 500 pounds plus for nearly 20 years didn't make me a worse person. Struggling for so long didn't make me a failure.

For the longest time, years actually, I did attach my self-worth and identity to my size and weight. Disconnecting the power cord between self-worth/identity and weight/size was an important step in helping me see things from a different perspective.

Finding the core of who I am and have always been required a simple question:

What are the qualities in me that do not change?  If I'm 500 pounds or 210 pounds, what positive attributes do I possess at both of those weights?

The same question can be applied to other things, for example: If I won the lottery tomorrow, what positive qualities about me would remain from my previous financial existence?

These core qualities are the ones with us through it all--the stability and certainty, instability and uncertainty.  The list includes not only the way our brain works through compassion, empathy, sense of humor, intelligence, etc., it also includes our likes and dislikes, our roles as parents and grandparents--the things that bring us joy and peace, love and laughter. These things are often overlooked because identity and self-worth have been attached to something that fluctuates.

My identity and self-worth were always hooked onto my weight. Someone else's identity and self-worth might be tied to their bank account.  And another's might be tied to whether or not they perceive their current station in life as stable or unstable. Still, another's might rely on the progression of their career. All of these things fluctuate. And through it all, we're still who we are within our core qualities.

In order for these core qualities to flourish and enrich our lives to the fullest, they must be loved and nurtured like watering a plant. If they're neglected, they wilt and wither. I believe this is where the expression "I feel dead inside" comes.

And when identity and self-worth are attached to anything else, these positive attributes get neglected on both sides of whatever is fluctuating.

When the changing source of identity and self-worth is moving in a positive direction, we feel great about ourselves. And when the source is moving in a negative direction we feel worse about ourselves. Then we get into a tug of war, constantly battling to feel good.

We've all heard, "Happiness must come from within."  Now I understand how that can happen and I understand how it doesn't happen when we rely on external things that change.

Money doesn't buy happiness. Losing weight doesn't magically fix us. Getting the big promotion or settling down into a relationship doesn't do it either. We're truly free when our identity and self-worth is authentically attached to the core qualities of who we are.

And the best thing??

It can NEVER be taken away from us, no matter what.

Today's Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

June 27th, 2018 More Of These

June 27th, 2018 More Of These

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Today was a good day.

I'll take more of these, please.

Featured Tweets:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

June 26th, 2018 Worked For Me

June 26th, 2018 Worked For Me

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The owner of the radio stations I work for is running for State Senate and tonight was his election results watch party. He's headed for a runoff in August, not what everyone was hoping for, but he's still in the race.

Today's schedule was back to somewhat normal. My food plan was back on the proper schedule, and that's good. Last night didn't include storms and tonight wasn't suppose to include storms, but storms are headed this way with an estimated time of arrival somewhere around 1am.

I ate dinner at the watch party. I know the owners of the restaurant really well. I've written, produced, and voiced radio commercials for them for years. I mention this to give a little insight into how I'm comfortable taking my own refined sugar-free and flour-free sprouted grain Ezekiel bread into the restaurant for a burger like I did tonight. I could've ordered something else without the Ezekiel, but a burger sounded good. It worked for me. I don't think I'd attempt this move in another restaurant that I didn't know this well.

I'll wrap it up and get ready for storm coverage. It would be really nice if these storms south of Wichita would dissipate into nothingness before they arrive.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, June 25, 2018

June 25th, 2018 Best Move

June 25th, 2018 Best Move

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget (although it was the second straight low-calorie day), I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The weather radio alarm sounded shortly after I posted last night's blog post. It was the third night in a row for middle-of-the-night coverage. It has left me completely exhausted.

I didn't do my morning show this morning but I did report to work after getting some rest. It wasn't enough. It'll feel great to get a decent night's sleep tonight.

This schedule lately has really affected my food plan. I've had two meals yesterday and two today and came in way under my maintenance budget both days. It's okay--and I should be back to normal tomorrow, but I certainly don't like it when everything seems tilted!

Anyway--my next best move is hitting the pillow.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, June 24, 2018

June 24th, 2018 Good Experience

June 24th, 2018 Good Experience

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget (although it was a severely low-calorie day), I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

This weekend's severe weather coverage schedule at the radio station has been brutal--completely upending my schedule in the worst way. It's the season and it will pass quickly, but my goodness--two nights in a row of late night/early morning coverage has flipped my routine. I'm grateful for my job--not complaining, just saying, it's been a challenge the past couple days thanks to Mother Nature. And the forecast calls for more overnight--I'm hoping that forecast is wrong.

Mom, Amber, Raegan and I headed to Stillwater this evening for my Aunt Kelli's (mom's sister) 50th birthday party. It was a good time to visit, catching up with family we don't see very often. The site of the party was a Chinese buffet restaurant. I was going to give it a shot--but one survey of the offering and I knew, I just couldn't make it work within my food plan. It was totally fine. I drank water and enjoyed the company thoroughly. I even got to see my cousins I hardly ever see!! It was really really a good experience.

I grabbed some chicken tacos from Chipotle on the way out of town and I was good.

My first meal of the day didn't happen until almost 1pm. I skipped lunch because I planned to eat at the party, then that didn't work--the after-party tacos with guacamole and a 1oz kids size chips turned out to be my last food of day. It left me way under budget for the day--and that's just fine. It's one day. And trust me, it rarely happens!

My focus now is to drop in bed with the weather radio set to alert; hoping it doesn't go off. Have mercy, Mother Nature!

I invite you to connect with me on MyFitnessPal!! My MFP username is SeanAAnderson

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, June 23, 2018

June 23rd, 2018 Never A Prerequisite

June 23rd, 2018 Never A Prerequisite

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I did a broadcast from a car dealership today. Part of my job involves being around free food--and an event like this typically involves free food. It did--and I stayed away. I enjoyed a nice breakfast before the broadcast so I wasn't hungry but honestly, hunger was never a prerequisite for my compulsive eating behaviors. My food plan includes some boundaries specific to me, considering things like my personal list of trigger foods and sensitivities. Part of my daily practice is making sure I'm honoring the food plan I've developed not just by the foods I eat but when I eat. If I hadn't eaten a good breakfast before today's broadcast, maybe it would have been harder to resist the spread. I don't know. Maybe not--but it's better for me to not take the risk.

I made a trip to the grocery store tonight for a few items before coming back home to prepare a good dinner. Considering tonight will likely be another weather coverage night--this time in the wee hours, I'm staying home and hopefully getting some rest before the alarm sounds the weather warnings.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, June 22, 2018

June 22nd, 2018 Staples

June 22nd, 2018 Staples

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

It quickly became a busy Friday at the studio. I made it home a little later than usual and proceeded to grab a nap. The nap was important for me because of the expectation of late night severe weather coverage. I was just finishing up dinner (beef fajita crunchy tacos) when the first warnings were issued--perfect timing, I suppose--and off to work I went. The great thing about these storms was the speed they were traveling. At 60mph to the east, it doesn't take long for the most severe portions to pass. Considering the initial watch was in effect until 5am, I'm counting myself lucky to be home at 1:15am!

I stopped by mom's place and the store on the way home. I didn't want to make the trip into Walmart at almost 1am but I was out of apples and eggs--and by golly, we can't have that!! Those are two staples of my food plan!

Okay-- I'm wrapping it up and dropping in bed.

Today's Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, June 21, 2018

June 21st, 2018 Part Of The Foundation

June 21st, 2018 Part Of The Foundation

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Up way too late tonight! It was a solid day. I really enjoyed preparing dinner. It was simple and satisfying-- it's in the featured tweet below.

DDWL Flashback from October 2014:
I believe we get what we give. The more we put into something, the more we get out of it. I want consistent results, so I give myself extraordinary care, consistently. It isn't always easy. It's certainly not as simple as saying. "I'm going to be consistent from here on out!" Don't we wish it was that easy?

As I analyze the fundamentals of what I've been doing in my recovery mode, I realize I've built a system that works for me. It's a system of accountability, support, and open communication. In relapse, two of these three things were non-existent. I shut down my accountability and isolated, I may have communicated some, but not about my struggles. The support was always there but largely ignored, by my own choosing, so it wasn't effective.

Being consistent during this turnaround from the regain has required me to elevate my accountability. My Twitter feed pictures of everything I eat has been an invaluable accountability tool. I was resistant to the idea at first, fearing it would be a huge hassle. It's actually a complete pleasure and it's inspired me to eat better! I take my time in choosing, preparing and eating my food. I enjoy it more--all because of this twitter feed. I've made it important.

I've recognized and accepted support in many forms. Your readership is supporting, your comments are supportive and I've established a list of people I know I can text or call anytime, night or day if I'm needing someone to talk me through a tough time or talk me out of a drive-through.

Open and honest communication--basically, the opposite of isolating, is crucial to my consistency. In the dark depths of relapse, nobody knew how bad it had become because I was alone when I did what I was doing with food. It was my secret trip to the ice cream place every night before bed. Nobody knew, not my daughters, mom or anyone close to me. I was consistently in "hiding." Now, if those feelings/compulsions to binge show up--I pick up the phone and reach out for "spot support." Gerri Helms has been there for me on numerous occasions. And I have others who are ready if I need them. And I will, I'm sure--at some point. On the other hand--I'm also available for them, anytime.

Keeping things simple is a major part of the foundation making my consistency possible. I don't get too technical. I don't crunch the numbers or get into confusing plans or patterns. I simply eat as well as I can and desire and I make time for exercise. I have some personal food rules, of course: No sugar, I avoid trigger foods, measuring is very important and proper portion control is a must. I make sure I'm eating things I truly enjoy. And I'm not afraid to be repetitious in my selections, especially with breakfast and lunch. If I get tired of something, I'll naturally shift to other things. If I don't get tired of it and I enjoy it, then what's not good about that?

Simple, simple, simple...It is crucial to maintaining consistency. We're the ones who make the rules--if we keep the rules simple to follow--then our chances of maintaining consistency goes up dramatically. And as we develop along the way--we can get as fancy and as specialized as we want and need, when we're ready. It's a natural evolution of good choices. Not a sudden and dramatic change where we expect to be a completely different person as soon as we wake up on our pre-determined start day.

My focus on consistency isn't long term. It's today. I want to make today a good day. I want to hit the pillow tonight, knowing that I gave it my best shot--my honest to goodness, best. Not perfect, mind you--rather, the best I could do today. I want to do that again tomorrow. It feels good!! We gain momentum in either direction, good or bad. Good choices lead to more of the same and bad choices lead to more bad choices.

Big time accomplishments are not done all at once. It's a collection of much smaller accomplishments, each of which contributes in a positive way to the bigger goal ahead. I'm setting small, doable goals--and hitting them square with everything I can. And I'm getting back some wonderful results in return. You get what you give, it's a universal truth.

Today's Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

June 20th, 2018 It Helps Me

June 20th, 2018 It Helps Me

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

The positive messages I've received from the NBC story have been a real blessing. I sincerely appreciate each and every email describing how my story resonates in different and powerful ways with people from all over the world.

Somebody recently said "blogging is dead," and I don't see it that way. To me, it's all about expectations. I mentioned on Day 1 how this blog would first and foremost be for me and what I've come to call my recovery--and even if it didn't connect with others, keeping it as a powerful personal accountability and support tool has made and continues to make a positive impact on me and my continued wellness. The only time it didn't was when I stopped writing. The impacts others tell me it's made for them are bonus blessings. It helps me to help others. It goes both ways. I'm so grateful. Thank you for coming here and reading each day. Some days I have more to say than others, but it's consistent--daily, and that's important for me.

I'll keep sharing from the heart if you'll keep reading along.

Did you know the archives are searchable? On the web version (I don't know how to make it work on the mobile version) there's a search box on the upper left-hand corner. You can type in topics or keywords and it'll bring up posts that include your inquiry.

Today's featured Tweet:
 

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, June 19, 2018

June 19th, 2018 Again and Again

June 19th, 2018 Again and Again

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Keeping it short tonight--just finished a walk after a long day. I'm really tired and ready to hit the pillow. I picked up my old standby chicken tacos for dinner and took 'em out to mom's place for dinner and a visit. We watched a little tv too. It was a good visit!

Doing a republish from the archives tonight-- and it's a double republish-- It starts with a post from September 2017 and jumps back to a post at the top of my relapse/regain in January 2014:

I work my plan each day. It works because I do the work. I do the work because I know how quickly and easily it can slip away. I do the work because I deserve this kind of care. I do the work because I know, as a first class food addict and emotional/compulsive overeater--each on-plan day depends on my willingness to do the work. Will I ever go back? I hope and pray not, but it's possible if I release this level of reverence I apply to my plan each day. And I'm not sure "work" is the right word. It doesn't feel like work at this point. It's just what I do.

Sometimes, especially if you're new to these pages and you haven't dived into the deep end of the archives, it might look routine, simple, and somehow immune to any semblance of the struggle. But don't believe that for a minute!  I've been in deep dark places along this road and I'm perfectly capable of going back to those places.

The following is an excerpt written near the height of my 164-pound relapse/regain period.
DDWL Flashback-January 2014:

It wasn't that long ago when I wondered if it was even remotely possible to feel this way again. I was at the point of completely giving up. Struggling harder than I ever imagined possible, isolating in a place full of shame, guilt and regret...filling up on self-pity, self-loathing and a general disgust--completely choosing a perspective void of even a shred of hope. And still occasionally trying to get it together only to fall again and again. As the weight gain continued, old issues started resurfacing.

I haven't shared this with anyone, but why not? A couple of months ago I sat on the edge of my bed and noticed a scab on my lower right leg. The weight gain had brought back swelling and since the skin on my lower right leg is forever damaged from my 500 pound days, it doesn't take much abuse for a tear to happen.  And there it was. The first sign of something horrific returning.  I'll never forget the pain of having a dozen or more sores after the constant swelling would rip my skin apart. I never want to get to that place ever again...but here it was, the start...and there I was feeling hopelessly doomed, almost attracted to the decline as if it had some insanely strong gravitational pull. What other freedoms will I lose?  How could this be happening?? Why????

All kinds of questions pelted me during this decline: What did I learn while losing 275 pounds?  And why did the strength I felt back then feel a million miles away? It was like being fluent in a language and suddenly losing even the most basic elements of communication. Was I really going to work that hard, get to a healthy body weight, work through emotions and get to a place where I was healthier than ever...and then turn around and go the other way???  Did I somehow subconsciously decide I wasn't worthy?   

Oooh... That's it, isn't it? I didn't deserve it. Okay, wow. That's heavy stuff. I wasn't worthy. How did I reach that ridiculous conclusion?

I suppose it happens over time. It's like we have constant checks and balances happening with our perception of the good and the bad of our life. Every negatively perceived thing makes a mark, an impression, a scarring on our brain and then it sits and waits for other negative things to join in and these things grow.  Most of the time these negative perceptions aren't even our fault, but in a desperate effort to explain and understand, it becomes easier to just take the blame.  And maybe some aren't even bad, but compared to the standards and beliefs we hold, they're perceived that way.  And so it goes, our self-esteem, self-worth. And the other side, the positive happenings? They are wonderful, and they keep us going, but eventually, they're diminished by the overwhelming darker, more negative perceptions, a bad apple if you will, spoiling the bunch.

As powerful as these dynamics seem, there's a serious problem. They're not true. I'm a good person, no--check that, I'm a great person. And I am worthy of feeling good. I am worthy of my success.

I'm going to take care of me with the positive care and love I've always deserved but was too caught up in false negatives to fully recognize. I want it for others, so why not offer the same love and compassion for me to enjoy?

This is a new day. This is a new perception. This is happening like no other time I've ever known.

This is the moment when "I'm Choosing Change" becomes even more powerful.
---------------------------------------------------
Interesting to note: That was written in January 2014. To write something that felt so real to me that night--so empowering, made the next three and half months torture, as I struggled through another 35-40 pound gain. It wasn't until near the end of April 2014 when I finally set aside the denial and started making positive progress once again.

I'm immensely grateful to be here each day, in maintenance mode, and doing the "work" each day--not simply to maintain a healthy body weight, but to keep my peace and balance with food. Because if I take care of that each day, life and all its opportunities to live, open up.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, June 18, 2018

June 18th, 2018 Right In Front Of Me

June 18th, 2018 Right In Front Of Me

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I gotta tell you something--I have kept this blog politically and religiously neutral for almost ten years out of respect for different affiliations and beliefs. I don't plan on changing that, ever, but I cannot write tonight's blog without mentioning how troubling it is to read and hear about children being forcibly separated from their parents by our government. This isn't right. Again--I rarely mention current world events because this isn't the place for those discussions--and I'm not wanting to start one here and now. I just want this insane policy stopped. This isn't the answer.

Okay--enough of that... On to today's edition of the DDWL...

Sometimes I forget about the non-physical benefits of exercise. A simple 30-minute walk does something positive to the brain--an endorphin release, and it changes things quickly. I rarely take off walking in the middle of a workday but I did today. It was a great experience and I'm planning to do that more often. I also have flights of stairs I could intentionally climb back and forth. Both of these options have always been available--I just haven't recognized the opportunity right in front of me. I think it comes from a gradually developed mindset that a good workout must happen at the Y or some other "workout" place--I need to remember how I started in September 2008. Something, anywhere--in whatever way, intentional movement--it's exercise and it counts. I mean, let's be honest--I live in a 2nd story apartment. I have a staircase right outside my front door. Tapping exercise for the physical--but also the mental benefits is something I intend to make a priority again, starting now.

My food plan is going well. Through emotionally turbulent times, somebody like me must be ultra aware because let me tell you something--and this is from experience: The deeply ingrained reaction toward excess food still exists. It takes acting instead of reacting--and sometimes the pause needed to make the next right action is the thing that separates peace and calm from chaos. Where I turn in that moment of pause makes all the difference in the world.

When the rationalizations of the past have been proven to be lies--when "just this once" or "a little bit won't hurt" is no longer believable, that's when that pause is most valuable.

Excess food promised to take me far far away from my troubles but it never did, ever, in all my life--it only distracted me; a temporary diversion from the issues demanding my attention. As soon as the food was gone, I was always miserable--and as a cruel bonus, the issues prompting me to run away into the food in the first place still existed; issues now coated with an extra layer of guilt, shame, and indigestion.

I'm not that strong. I don't operate on willpower. I maintain a practice each day that keeps me connected with people, a food plan, a spiritual practice, and a dream to keep on keeping on this path. I'm an eternal optimist. I believe in hope. I don't live in fear of relapse. I simply live with an importance level that honors and respects the fragility of it all.

I smiled today. I laughed today. I was touched by messages received from people responding and reaching out because of the NBC news story. If you're new to this blog, welcome! Thank you for being here!

Today's Featured Tweets:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, June 17, 2018

June 17th, 2018 Zeroed

June 17th, 2018 Zeroed

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I've stayed zeroed in on my daily plan practice lately for good reason. "Zeroed in" means staying connected with support friends, taking a little more time with meditation and prayer, and making sure I'm also doing the other things I need to do in order to keep me well.

Look, I've struggled with how to share this on the blog, but it's important that I share it--not in great detail, mind you, out of respect for her, but at least share it so you'll know why lately, I haven't felt like writing too much. My relationship with Cindy has, unfortunately, ended.

As a first-class emotional/stress eater, it takes an enormous amount of effort to do positive and supportive things instead of self-destructive things. If you've read every single day of this blog, you know this isn't the first time--it isn't even the third time...anyway, I'm looking at my side of the street in all this and realizing, I need to work on me some more before I'm truly ready for a happy, healthy relationship.

Things didn't go as planned today. But it was okay. My youngest daughter had to cancel our visit--totally understandable!!! Courtney has her hands full with three little ones! I picked up mom for her weekly trip out and about. Mom and I enjoyed a meal together before stopping in for a good visit with my oldest daughter, my little granddaughter Raegan, and first-time father, KL. You can tell KL is loving being a dad. I wished him a happy first Father's Day and he beamed.

I'm a little bit blue this evening and that's normal, okay, and it'll pass.

On a brighter note--my goodness, that article from NBC has made its way around. Judging from the dramatic increase in pageviews and social media connections, there's plenty of new readers on this blog. If you're one of them, welcome!! I'm glad you're here! As you can tell, it gets very real around here every now and then.

If you're reading on a mobile device, you might not be able to see the archives--but on a desktop or laptop view, and maybe a tablet, you should see the archives listed on the left-hand side of the screen. They're indexed by year, month, and day, all the way back to Day 1 at 505 pounds on September 15th, 2008.  I can't believe it's been almost ten years. Wow.

You're also invited to connect with me on Twitter: @SeanAAnderson  MyFitnessPal username is SeanAAnderson. You can friend me on Facebook and check out the 17 episodes (so far) of my podcast Transformation Planet wherever you find your favorite podcasts!

Today's Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, June 16, 2018

June 16th, 2018 Opportunity To Share

June 16th, 2018 Opportunity To Share

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

A big thank you goes to NBC News and writer Stephanie Thurrott for a wonderful article about my story! You can click on this link to read: NBC News article It was actually released yesterday afternoon but I didn't know it until this morning. It certainly explained a sudden and dramatic increase in pageviews and social media interactions! I'm grateful for the opportunity to share the details of my story and I hope it helps someone in a dramatic way.

I had a location broadcast from a grocery store today. I really love these broadcasts because I get to shop while I'm working. I was on-air while pushing my shopping cart around grabbing deals!

I'm not sure what the plans will be for tomorrow's Father's Day festivities. I do plan on seeing my daughters and grandkids at some point.

Food today was exceptional. I prepared all three meals at home in anticipation of a restaurant meal tomorrow.

Today's Featured Tweets:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, June 15, 2018

June 15th, 2018 Sugar, Sugar

June 15th, 2018 Sugar, Sugar

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I've written about my abstinence from sugar and how it's given me a peace and calm like I've never known. It's not something necessary for everyone. You may not have the reactions I do when you consume sugar. Arriving at this point in my journey has required a bunch of trial and error, or more accurately, a bunch of denial and struggle. I'm glad I've experienced things this way, though. Because without the trials, the struggles--I wouldn't be where I am today. And I love where I am today.

If you're not someone affected by sugar, like me, good! For you, moderation is key. After experiencing the last more than four years without sugar and the resulting peace and calm--I've never been surer of its effects on me. When denial and struggle is replaced with the positive perspective of peaceful acceptance, it's life-changing, certainly has been for me.

Here's my deal with sugar:

Restrictions.
This was one of the biggest points of contention for me since I started losing weight in 2008.
I lost 275 pounds eating cake, ice cream and desserts--all within reasonable portions at appropriate times. Using prior success as a reference, It made it very hard to get to a place of acceptance for abstinence.

How did I stay consistent for as long as I did, despite all the sugary foods in moderation?

In hindsight, I clearly see how my support and accountability system importance level was set so high, I didn't dare give in to the struggle, temptation and the obsessive like attraction to "getting more." There were a lot of prayers and meditation--surrounding myself with people, instead of isolating--and connecting as much as possible with a variety of support sources.

When I basically abandoned almost every support and accountability component I had leaned on for so long--then it was a very different dynamic.

When the biochemical reactions of sugar addiction swirled through my brain, I followed its lead without question--as if possessed. I traded one struggle for another. Instead of struggling against the compulsions to binge, I gave in--then struggled with the regret, shame, and embarrassment associated with weight gain and the guilt associated with doing the very things I wanted to be diametrically opposed.

I was very much NOT wanting to let go of the sugar or, the option to enjoy it occasionally in portioned doses. My denial was slowly revealed and chipped away by learning. What ended up happening is, I kept researching the effects of sugar, specifically the addictive nature of it, and then as if I was destined to hear--I kept having conversations with people in recovery from food addiction---people who have what I want--years of recovery and maintenance behind them--and 100% of them said the same thing in relation to sugar and how it creates a biochemical reaction in our brains---and then sets off the addictive cycle of, "I gotta have more and NOW!!!!" 

Will I ever go back to eating ice cream, cakes and other sugar-laden things? I pray I never do. My short answer is no, I don't plan on ever going back. I now know, understand and appreciate what I must do in order to stay abstinent.  I also know that if I ever decide to abandon the principles and daily practices of my personal recovery, I'll surely go straight back to the very familiar reality of an unmanageable and chaotic existence.

It's important to note that fortunately, not everyone is a food and/or sugar addict. For some, the basic fundamentals of eating less, exercising more and developing an "in moderation" approach to food is the answer. I wanted it to be my answer. And as much as I wanted to wish it into being--summoning the law of attraction and constantly telling myself I was someone who could be okay with a non-addict approach to recovery--I finally realized it wasn't me. And it's okay. I'm okay. And I have a wonderful, rich and fulfilling life ahead of me without sugar.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, June 14, 2018

June 14th, 2018 Tweet Only

June 14th, 2018 Tweet Only

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

June 13th, 2018 Awakening

June 13th, 2018 Awakening

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I didn't write this--but I love it. I shared it years ago on this blog--thought it was a good time to share it again.

"The Awakening"

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks, and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out… ENOUGH! Enough fighting, crying, blaming, and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change. Or, for happiness, safety, and security to appear over the next horizon as if by magic.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you. And, in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are, and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you, or didn’t do for you. You learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean, or mean what they say. That not everyone will always be there for you, and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own. You learn to take care of yourself, and in the process, a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers. You begin to accept people as they are. To overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process peace and contentment are born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing. You begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything. It’s not your job to save the world, and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are, not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty, so you take more time to rest. You learn that just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So, you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for. That wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline, and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into, and through your fears, because you know that whatever may happen, you can handle it. You learn that to give in to fear is to give away your right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life. Not to squander it by living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair. You don’t always get what you think you deserve. That sometimes, bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. You learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you, and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected. If not, they will suffocate the life out of you. They will poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted. The things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself. You make yourself a promise to never betray yourself. To never ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling. To keep trusting. To stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand. You take a deep breath. You begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

June 12th, 2018 Very Special

June 12th, 2018 Very Special

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I was invited to a special dinner tonight with family. Mom was planning to go but she wasn't feeling too well.

It was a very nice experience! My two daughters and all four grandchildren were there--it was very special! Little blessings, each one!!

Oliver!!
























Phoebe and Raegan
























Noah and I love to make faces!





















Today's Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, June 11, 2018

June 11th, 2018 Rogue

June 11th, 2018 Rogue

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

It's been a really good day. Headed to bed very soon!

I got a haircut and eyebrow trim and wax today. It was getting out of control. I noticed my left eye hurting yesterday and I couldn't figure out why until I looked closely in the mirror and discovered a rogue eyebrow hair (among a bushy bunch of rogue hairs) had grown down and was literally poking me in the eye. I paused and pondered, "Did this ever happen to Andy Rooney?"

My eyebrow was attacking me.

Today's trim and unibrow waxing were long overdue and well worth the extra ten bucks. Although I wasn't quite ready for the sidebrow scaping--you see, I was so overdue for this--and my hair grows wildly and quickly, so the eyebrow had actually grown longer down the sides. I've never experienced that before. I can take the wax ripping on the unibrow because the skin is tighter on that spot. But man, my word--when she ripped the sidebrow wax... have mercy!!!! There may have been tears. Let's just call 'em watery eyes.

As the stylist cut my hair, I noticed large amounts of hair on the cape thingy and at one point questioned, "Is that all my hair?" As if she would somehow throw other people's hair on me. "Of course it's your hair," she replied. "There's a lot of white or gray hairs in these clumps." She calmly explained how "I'm cutting the same hairs a couple or three times, so it looks like more." I'm not ready for gray or, oh my goodness--white!!! I'm 46 dang it!!! She reminded me that no matter the speed of the change, at least it appears as though I'll have plenty of hair. Okay-- I guess that needs to go on my gratitude list. 

Today's Featured Tweets:




Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, June 10, 2018

June 10th, 2018 Okay With That

June 10th, 2018 Okay With That

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I slept in today--really well. It was good rest and I certainly needed it, but it really tilted my food schedule today. I ended up almost 500 under budget. I'm going to be okay with that today. It's fine. I enjoyed an apple and natural peanut butter as my last food of day--and I'm good.

Mom and I enjoyed dinner out this evening followed by a visit with Amber, KL, and an almost three-month-old Raegan. Oh my--she's adorable!!! That little sweetheart melts my heart!

Today's featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, June 9, 2018

June 9th, 2018 Good Place To Stop

June 9th, 2018 Good Place To Stop

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

This entire journey is full of wonderment and new discoveries along the way. There are the purely physical discoveries, like the time I alarmingly asked my doctor about the large, hard "growth" in the center of my chest, only to be introduced to my sternum. Or the first time I marveled at feeling my rib cage, or laying on my side and seeing my hip bone for the first time in decades...I just laid there and felt it in total astonishment. Those are fun, indeed.

Some of the most revealing and important discoveries have little to do with the physical and everything to do with the mental/emotional aspects of it all. Like getting all the way to a predetermined number, but still feeling the same inside despite the compliments and how many bones you can see and feel. This is where it gets challenging.

Sticking to a plan, remaining consistent and getting results is a challenge, but nothing like the challenge of changing a lifetime perception of oneself. The mind doesn't gradually change along with the numbers on the scale. Often times, we'll look for increased validation from others, in hopes we'll be convinced of our worthiness of love and acceptance. The problem with this strategy is, even when we're receiving genuine adoration, compliments, praise, and validation, none of it counts if we have a voice inside negating every word.

We can't pretend to believe something we don't. We can try, but it's a thinly layered facade at best and it doesn't take long for our most genuine feelings about ourselves--the ones with all of the emotional anchors--to override our systems, and set us back to where we started. It's interesting because, often times we're searching for something from others, that we haven't taken the time to recognize and give, unconditionally, to ourselves.

As we proceed to take extraordinary care, we quickly realize the importance of self-honesty with our food and exercise choices. Leveling the same brand of self-honesty to the emotional side of things can be a difficult bridge to cross, but one worth crossing. And even after we cross that bridge, we're still capable of retreating back across if we don't make this inner exploration critically important.

If our list of weight loss goals and expectations include finally feeling good about ourselves, then that, in my opinion, is a good place to stop and evaluate the mental/emotional aspects of this journey we're on.

You're good, right now. All of the critical judgments you're making completely miss the point of who you are and what you're all about. We've heard the expression, "it's what's on the inside that counts," and still, we're often too preoccupied with the outside to fully grasp the meaning.

I'm not saying the physical changes aren't important. I'm simply saying it's important to embrace this: The wonderful elements inside us do not improve when the scale goes down and they don't decline when the scale goes up. The physical side of this journey provides better health and increased mobility. The mental/emotional side can provide the most dramatic transformation of all. Because if we exercise this area of personal introspective study, we're in effect, fortifying our position and giving ourselves the greatest chance at success beyond whatever predetermined number or outward sign of success we're after.

I've experienced all of this first hand. I'm a student along this road and I'm always learning. I didn't expect this journey to become such a deep kind of thing. If you've read the archives of this blog from Day 1, you can tell--I didn't know where I was headed beyond the smaller numbers, smaller body, and smaller clothes. Discovering, then dealing with the elements beyond the superficial isn't easy sometimes, or ever. But it's worth the effort. We're worth it. I'm worth it. You're worth it.

If we give ourselves this loving attention first and foremost, the ride will be much smoother down the road.

If you're disgusted with yourself, it's time to forgive. If you're ashamed of your regain, it's time to forgive. If you constantly beat yourself up for perceived failings along the way, it's time to stop. It's time to forgive. It's time to get real. It's time to embrace, you. You deserve this level of love and care. Stop denying yourself. We're all human. And as humans with human emotions, we crave love, acceptance, connections, and certainty. Finding these things within, giving them to ourselves first--changes everything and allows us to recognize it from others down the road, a little easier.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, June 8, 2018

June 8th, 2018 All The Difference

June 8th, 2018 All The Difference

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I poured myself into my work and into my daily practice today--and it helped tremendously. My broadcast tonight went very well. I made it to the store, grabbed a few things I needed for the dinner I planned and made it home to prepare a late on-plan dinner.

I've focused on my food plan today, making sure it's tight. And today it was. I also focused on support--just staying in contact with support friends makes all the difference.

Today's featured Tweets:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Thursday, June 7, 2018

June 7th, 2018 Abundance

June 7th, 2018 Abundance

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with exceptional support.

I didn't sleep well last night. I took 1/2 a day off, arranged for a colleague to do my show, and finally got a little sleep. I made it into work a little later and got some stuff done. I received so many supportive messages, emails, and phone calls today. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for that kind of support.

Time for a DDWL time travel--back to a post written in December 2014:

Before I started losing weight in September 2008, I remember having some separation anxiety with food. So many times, this anxiety would serve as the catalyst for "one last binge" before I "really got serious" once and for all. My focus was clearly on what I would be giving up.

When I started back then, I decided to have a nothing is off limits approach, as long as I could fit it into my calorie budget. This approach helped curb the feeling of forced deprivation, but I still felt separated from the bigger portions.

In retrospect, it wasn't separation anxiety over any specific food, it was the perception of losing my coping mechanism; my drug, in the amounts I was accustomed. Eating to excess, sneak eating, binge eating, stress eating, emotional eating, eating for sport--all of it was a way of life. It's all I knew. I was really good at it, too.

I've communicated with a lot of people about this very topic and I discovered it's a very common thing to experience. What I quickly discovered was, my perception was faulty. My focus was driven by my addictive brain that felt its supply was threatened. Once I came out of the fog a little bit and I started losing enough to see and feel the difference, my perspective started to change.

Instead of focusing on what I had to give up, I started focusing on all of the wonderful things I could now enjoy along the way. All of these wonderful things, made possible by my decreasing size.

I remember them all. The first time I sat in a chair with arms without discomfort. It was actually at one of my daughter's school functions. Normally I would just stand or look for a folding chair without arms in the back of the auditorium, or not go altogether. I remember when the seat belt in my vehicle finally fit. I remember when the arms of a loved one could finally go all the way around me and actually touch! I remember the first time the doctor looked at me and said: "your numbers look great, keep doing what you're doing!" I remember enjoying an amusement park with my family for the first time since childhood, and even though I was scared of the big rides, I rode 'em all--simply because I could...fit. I remember the first time I had a foot race with my daughters. Yeah, they still won--but I was running like the wind blows.

I wasn't focusing on all of these positive things when I first started because I didn't know them. All I knew was, things would be very different at buffets, and that really bothered me.

At some point, with consistency and hard earned results, a shift is made. Suddenly it isn't about all of the things we're giving up, it's about all we're gaining. My friend, Life Coach Gerri says it best: "I traded an abundance on my plate for abundance in my life."

And we still get to eat. We just don't get to abuse food to cover, comfort, buffer and smother us away from dealing with life. It's difficult. Life is hard sometimes, especially when you're morbidly obese. I noticed the emotional eating compounding issue at a very young age. I would eat to feel better and the resulting weight gain would leave me feeling worse, so I had to eat even more--because now it was a compounding problem. My coping mechanism was giving me even more reasons to use the coping mechanism.

The biggest challenge becomes learning to deal with things we avoided. This is where writing comes in very handy. Good therapy is another tool if you can get it. Once the shift in perspective is made, and we're no longer fretting or downright grieving over the perceived loss of food, that's when we can really start enjoying our transformation. That's when we start making it much more than just a physical one, it becomes a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual transformation.

What's really scary is, once these transformations start happening, it can all be surrendered if we lose our grip on the proper perspective.

I lost 275 pounds. I decided I had figured it out. I experienced all kinds of transformations--all of the above. The discovery of true forgiveness was life-changing. The physical change was mind-blowing, the improved health was miraculous...then...Just when I thought I had a lock on this for the rest of my life, I started giving it all back. I traded in my new perspective for the old ones and the resulting weight gain came fast.

With each additional pound, it became harder and harder to find my way back. I thank God I didn't go all the way back to 505 pounds. Stopping the slide wasn't something I did on my own, that's for sure.

The fundamentals I practice today, including the highly accountable elements, like the daily Twitter feed and this daily blog, are critical to my continued weight loss. The support I seek and give and the perspective I hold and know to be good and true are things deserving of my constant devotion.

Do I eat far less and differently than I once did? Yes. And I still eat well. I don't eat refined sugar, no matter what--it's off limits for me and that's okay, too. In fact, it's an absolutely wonderful thing to be able to say without any shred of perceived loss, whatsoever.

I live a satisfied life with food. I hope and pray I don't ever again trade the abundance in my life for abundance on my plate.
---------------

I did my rodeo broadcast tonight, stopped by mom's for a few minutes, enjoyed a good on-plan meal at my favorite Mexican place, then picked up a few things at the grocery store. I'm ready to go to bed.
Fast Fruit Run



















Oh-- also, I had a nice experience being interviewed this afternoon by a wonderful writer for NBC News Better. I'll provide a link to that story when it gets published!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

June 6th, 2018 The Thing

June 6th, 2018 The Thing

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

I've been staying busy at work, just head down and moving forward. The last few days have been difficult on an emotional level. I'm working through some things and it'll work out, but still--very challenging. Sorry about the vagueness of that--but when something involves other people in my life, it's not fair for me to say too much more. Besides, for someone like me, and especially for what this blog is all about, it isn't "the thing," it's how I'm handling the thing.

As a first-class emotional/stress eater, it takes an exceptional level of awareness, mindfulness, planning, support, and everything else in my daily practice to work together during high emotional periods. Doubling down on support interactions and doing positive and supportive things that help to change the way I feel, makes a monumental difference. Compulsively overeating and going off the rails would also make a monumental difference, just in a different direction. I've been down that road before and I'd rather not take that exit again. I could so easily. I'm choosing a positive route.

I haven't slept well at all the past few nights and especially the last two. I was really glad to get off at a relatively normal time. I left the studio at 2:15 and made it home for a good nap before my regular Wednesday night one on one and group calls.

I made the time to prepare a good meal for my late dinner; weighing, measuring, and logging everything, then enjoyed a half hour of Netflix while eating.

If you're on MyFitnessPal you're welcome to send me a friend request. My food diary is set to "public." My MFP username: SeanAAnderson

I'm hitting the pillow within minutes. All things considered--it was a good day.

Tomorrow starts three days of broadcasting every evening from the 101 Wild West PRCA Rodeo. I've done these broadcasts every year for a very long time. The broadcasts are only two hours long each night, so it isn't too bad at all. Plus, it's good exercise-constantly moving from interview to interview, break to break all over the arena and grounds.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

June 5th, 2018 All I Got

June 5th, 2018 All I Got

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Some days, that's all I got. And that's okay. I'm grateful I got that.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Monday, June 4, 2018

June 4th, 2018 Different Ways

June 4th, 2018 Different Ways

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

I enjoyed a good workout at the YMCA this evening. I needed it in a couple different ways.

Keeping tonight's edition short.

Today's Featured Tweet:


Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Sunday, June 3, 2018

June 3rd, 2018 The Way I Feel

June 3rd, 2018 The Way I Feel

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I met my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

Today started with some meditation and prayer-it's a part of my routine, first thing. It helps to change the way I feel. I cleaned my apartment (not perfectly-but much better!) and that helps to change the way I feel. I took extraordinary care of my food plan today and that helps to change the way I feel. I connected with support contacts today and that also helps to change the way I feel. I focused on gratitude, thinking about all of the things worthy of my sincere gratitude and that also helps to change the way I feel. I got to give my youngest daughter a hug today, see three of my grandchildren, and hang out with Noah, my oldest grandson--and all of that really helps to change the way I feel.

My number one "change the way I feel" go-to action was and could still be compulsively over-eating-- and it will be again if I ever forget that positive and supportive actions are capable of doing it too.

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Saturday, June 2, 2018

June 2nd, 2018 Relaxed Pace

June 2nd, 2018 Relaxed Pace

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

I took the opportunity to get a little more rest today. This past week was challenging for me. It felt nice to take a relaxed pace.

Mom and I made this evening our time for an outing instead of Sunday. It was a good visit--dinner, conversation, driving around, and shopping at Walmart. I've worked on a personal project tonight and I'm proud of the progress I've made!

Short post tonight!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

Friday, June 1, 2018

June 1st, 2018 The Battle

June 1st, 2018 The Battle

Today: I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained refined sugar-free, I exceeded (12 cups!) my daily water goal, and I stayed well connected with good support.

The heat index was hovering around 100 degrees this evening during the 3rd Annual Battle Of The Burger. I was out there over four hours--and was absolutely soaked and beat by the time it was over. The length of time for me was nothing compared to the teams and volunteers who spent two and three times as long out there in the oppressive heat. I was the emcee tonight for the 2nd and a half year... the first year, I took over emcee duties in the middle...so, I guess technically, this was my 3rd year in a row to emcee this incredible community event. I got sunburned a little bit. I suppose that's one way to get some vitamin D, right?

One thing I did differently this year: I decided to sample some of the burgers--just the meat, no buns. I thought about taking my Ezekiel bread but decided against it at the last minute. It was a fun time!

I did get offered a bunch of "not my food" items tonight, including cheesecake, cupcakes, and beer--At one time along this road, I always felt like I needed to explain why I was saying no. I don't do that anymore. I simply say, "No, thank you." If the items offered were homemade--and it was a case of someone serving "love on a plate," then I still say no if it isn't "my food," but I often follow with a compliment on their creation. "No, thank you--but I've heard yours is the best around! Looks amazing! You're an artist!" If they insist, I drop the compliments and stick with a firm, "No, but thank you for thinking of me!" And if they still press, they just get a firm, "no." Most people don't go that far.

Just because those things aren't on my food plan doesn't mean I don't appreciate when someone does 'em well! I don't fault anyone for offering things to me either--it is nice of them to think of me.

You see, I can't expect others to know of my daily practice or even understand it--I must always be the one who takes responsibility in caring for my plan each day. I've emceed this event the last three years with a weight fluctuation in maintenance mode of around 5-7 pounds, so for some--they see me look the same as last year and the year before in the same size clothes and it might be easy for them to think, Oh, clearly he can eat this kind of stuff now. He's got this down!! Uh, no I don't! They don't know, it takes a daily diligence--a daily practice...and it's a practice I've fashioned in a way to suit me well enough to embrace each day.

I do not have a set schedule tomorrow. I do have some plans at the studio--some work to catch up on, but I'm technically off, so anything I do tomorrow will be on my schedule. I also plan to release another Transformation Planet podcast episode this weekend. I mention that for accountability sake!!

I've relaxed enough--time to drop in bed and get some rest!

Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean





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