I'm opting for more rest tonight. So it's basically a Tweets only as far as anything new. BUT--I thought, instead of a Tweets only, why not a rerun? Maybe you remember the following episode, uh--I mean, blog post. The following post accurately describes what came together for this turnaround from relapse/regain.
From July 25th, 2015:
We were celebrating. Everyone was gathered at the restaurant in good spirits, drinks and food ordered, conversations circulating and plenty of laughter frequently breaking out. I was at the end of the table looking over the menu, checking my calorie budget and deciding on what would become my dinner. I already decided water-no ice, with lemon and lime, would be my drink choice. After I ordered the 7oz sirloin with double asparagus, the question came from a friend across the table.
"Do you ever cheat?"
"I haven't in almost sixteen months."
First of all, let me make it very clear--this isn't a boast. This is simply a fact. Further--let me stress how incredibly surprised I am that I can honestly say that.
How in the world could I do an about-face, a 180--a total turnaround from where I found myself sixteen months ago?
The answer isn't a simple sentence or source. It's a bunch of things working together on several different levels. Spiritual, emotional and mental work, and different levels of support--from group support to one on one support, to the accountability measures put into place to help guide me along--keeping my awareness level high and my routine consistent.
This turnaround from relapse/regain wasn't a simple declaration of "starting tomorrow things will be different." I tried that approach several times without a shred of success. I wasn't creating an action plan and then, when things remained the same the next day, I'd sit around feeling hopeless and doomed.
It was like throwing the same thing against a wall and hoping it would somehow stick this time. It didn't, several times.
I needed an action plan. Once an action plan was created, that's when things started changing dramatically.
The list was long: Return to writing this blog daily, as the name suggests. Weigh and measure my food as much and as often as possible. Log every single thing in MyFitnessPal. Tweet a picture, description and calorie count of every bite, every day. Make sure what I do eat, I enjoy, 100%. Commit to a regular exercise plan. Re-commit to giving and receiving more support via group and one on one interactions. Abstain from refined sugar. And treat all of these elements with an importance level in the highest, most non-negotiable way.
Honestly, the list felt a little overwhelming, at first. The very first thing I did was try to figure out reasons why it wasn't possible for me to do this thing.
I remember one session with Life Coach Gerri, that mirrored almost word for word what was asked by my therapist at the time. I was talking about how I was way too busy to return to daily blog posts. Gerri immediately challenged me with some good questions: When you experienced so much success before--and you were blogging daily, were you not just as busy? Very true. Good point. I was just as busy. And she didn't stop at making a good point: So, what you were doing was working well until you stopped doing it, right? Well, when you put it that way, but...
I kept throwing out objections and Gerri kept persisting with questions designed to challenge me into changing my perspective. Suddenly I stopped coming up with reasons why I couldn't do it and I started coming up with ideas and solutions proving I could.
Besides, I thought you said that writing brings you immense joy. Why would you stop something that not only contributes in positive ways to your success--but does it at the same time it's bringing immense joy into your life? Damn it. She's good.
Okay, okay--from this moment forward, I'm blogging every day. That was over 450 days ago. I haven't missed one since. Sure, occasionally time constraints require a short one--and sometimes a "tweets only" one...but it's done, each and every night. And it's made a profound difference.
The MFP and Tweets really bothered me, mainly because I knew that if I committed 100%, the only way it would work is if I applied a very strict code of honesty. The first time I eat something without logging and tweeting it--it's all over. I knew that going in--and it seemed extreme and beyond necessary to tweet everything. Turns out, it's helped me in monumental ways. The Tweets inspire me to eat well. I eat much better now than I ever did before. The Tweets and MFP logging have encouraged me to slow down and enjoy the process of planning, preparing and enjoying my food. I make the time to take good care--and in this care, I'm honoring my commitments.
In my book, Transformation Road, I wrote about my philosophy on cheat days or cheat meals--or cheating, period. If what I'm doing is so restrictive and against the grain of what I can do for the rest of my life, then perhaps I need to change what I'm doing. For me to accept a "cheat day," suggests that what I'm doing the rest of the time is just a means to an end. If I'm constantly looking forward to the day when I can cut loose--then I might want to inspect the daily restraints. This isn't about defining restrictions, it's about refining solutions--making this something enjoyable, doable--workable, delicious--satisfying...and if we can make it all that, then why would we feel the need to deviate into old behaviors for a day or a meal? If what I'm doing is a temporary means to an end--and I'm forcing myself to do something unnatural to me and what I like--then I'm setting myself up for a monumental problem down the line.
The abstinence from refined sugar has made a profound impact bio-chemically--effectively turning off the "binge switch" and ushering in a peace and calm I never knew. But as I've discussed before--it doesn't stop the other side of things--the deeply ingrained pattern of seeking comfort with food in times of extreme emotion and high stress. I've had three very close calls in the last fifteen plus months--one of those three happened recently, on Wednesday July 15th. Each time, reaching out for support--texting it or talking it out, has made a HUGE difference.
It's not as easy as simply agreeing that excess food doesn't fix anything--or that food isn't a therapist. It doesn't matter how long or how much success we're experiencing, I've learned that unless I reach out for support, I'm perfectly capable of talking myself into the comfort food dynamic.
Do I ever cheat?
Why would I want to cheat myself out of the tremendous blessings this road brings? I don't, so I won't.
My success isn't a guarantee. I'm not entitled. It's not automatic. If I stop doing the things I'm doing, I'll quickly fall hard.
This here thing, is a daily practice--a one day at a time practice of uniquely crafted fundamental elements. I just want one more day feeling as good as I feel when I'm honoring my commitment and maintaining the integrity of my plan. I'd like a whole bunch of one more days.
It's over four months later. I'm approaching 600 days of abstinence from refined sugar. I'm now into weight maintenance mode and I'm still treating all of the above described elements of this turnaround from relapse/regain with an importance level in the highest, most non-negotiable way.
I'm very grateful.
My Tweets Today:
Good morning. Monday morning dark roast. Two tablespoons half & half X 2 cups. 80 cal. pic.twitter.com/Pban0KrE4f— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Breakfast in MFP... pic.twitter.com/0WM1rSy2za— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Avocado omelet. Two whole eggs-two egg whites, 135g avocado, 133g apple & 4.7oz banana. 538 cal. pic.twitter.com/By9ybns5PL— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
To go coffee. Their cup, my home brewed dark roast with two tablespoons half & half. 40 cal. pic.twitter.com/3M6eNLiycX— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Lunch in MFP... pic.twitter.com/zyOAaWQ1fJ— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Chicken, Zucchini & Yellow Squash Melts with 8oz chicken, two slices provolone & 30g sour cream. 574 cal. pic.twitter.com/oFQY1opSYs— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Those chicken taco melts used leftovers. Yay me. ;)— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
If I drink the 2 cups water, I get the evening coffee... pic.twitter.com/wI90Z5e7Gd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Done. I'll take the dark roast with three tablespoons half & half, now, please & thank you. :) 60 cal. pic.twitter.com/OKq7iak7zW— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) November 30, 2015
Dinner in MFP... pic.twitter.com/6Cr10SzpLd— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) December 1, 2015
8oz grilled sirloin, 359g sweet potato pan prepared with onions using 3 sec. olive oil spray & green beans. 731 cal. pic.twitter.com/RZzs5qFVjW— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) December 1, 2015
20/30 in the books. #naturalhigh #endorphinparty #needshower #sweatmachine #cardiovascular work. pic.twitter.com/MC0wksP2AR— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) December 1, 2015
Nailing the budget thanks to my digital scale. pic.twitter.com/GznVL07RaB— Sean Anderson (@SeanAAnderson) December 1, 2015
Thank you for reading and your continued support,