Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Day 798-804 After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket

Day 798-804

After Thanksgiving Post, Day 78 Revisited, and A New Jacket

Preparing Thanksgiving dinner and enjoying the family and friends of the holiday was so special to me, especially since hitting goal. It's a nice feeling to be in control, to enjoy food instead of abuse food, to be normal and healthy...to be happy and content. To be me.

There wasn't any desire to stuff myself sick, in fact, my plan of allowing 2500 calories turned out to be a good one, but kind of a challenge. I know that must sound crazy, especially on Thanksgiving, but I'm so prolific at getting the most bang for my calorie buck--sometimes, I should relax a little and eat a little more maybe, but why? If I'm eating decent amounts and I'm satisfied, then I see little reason to push it to 2500, just because it's Thanksgiving. I wasn't deprived in the least! Having this kind of relationship with food is nothing short of a dream come true for me. I owe it all to my "nothing is off limits" philosophy and my "Calorie Bank and Trust." Had I restricted certain foods or only consumed certain foods in my efforts--then I wouldn't have recovered from my food addict ways, because I would have been avoiding the issue--focusing on a means to lose weight, and not the behaviors with all food that always kept me morbidly obese. I will always consider myself a food addict, but I'm aware and mindful of from where I came--and now, food and me...well, we're friends. Life and food, is good...absolutely!

I haven't really touched my calorie budget just yet. I'll get there. I'll cruise under 230 a little and really start to decide where I want to take this body of mine. The new YMCA facility opens Monday and I'm thrilled about getting in there and using everything! Oh my---it's beautiful! I received a nice tour from the senior program director, and I must say, I'm impressed beyond description. The "cycling studio" has an amazing sound system and stadium style levels for optimal viewing. The pools are incredible too---and the fitness area with treadmills and everything else you could ever want---it's unbelievable! I'll be broadcasting from the new facility Saturday morning from 8 to 10am--can't wait!!

I never get tired of getting wonderful messages from people who are having incredible success of their own. Jamie Fisher gives me regular updates on my facebook wall--and I look forward to each one. Here's the latest:

"Sean, was reading a couple of your blogs from the beginning. Its funny, It hit home with me in so many ways. I eat at least 1 meal a week from Wendy's, Grilled chicken sand(no honey mustard) and large chili, very satisfying for 610 calories. I don't want to jinx it, but I am pretty confident when I weigh in on Friday(e...nd of week 19 133 days) that I will eclipse the -100 lb mark, wow what a mile stone in sight. PS wearing even smaller chefs coats yet again, and i officially don't own any clothes that fit me."

I LOVE that! Jamie--can you believe it??? I'm so happy for you!!!

Leah writes:

"Well Sean....today I finally caught up to the present of your blog. I've been reading it since July after reading your story on AOL about losing weight without eating one salad. As I mentioned recently I've lost 31 lbs while getting my daily inspiration from you. Now that I've finished your blog and understand your not writing daily I will go back to the beginning and read one a day as well as your new posts as you post them as I want to continue to be inspired by you daily. I know you get told this often by probably thousands of people now but I just have to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the life change you have helped me through. I only wish I had come to this understanding 25 years ago! I'll definitely be looking for your book. Thank you again!"

Pat writes:

"Hi Sean, have a great day. I have to brag a little. My husband and I went to Missouri for the Thanksgiving holidays for five days and he lost 2 pounds and I lost 1. We ate what we wanted but kept our calorie count in check. You have helped us so much with your attitude of this is not a diet, we can eat anything we want, we have to stay in our calorie range. You do not feel like you are missing out on anything. My husband has lost 15 pounds and I have lost 20 so far."

Jamie, Leah, Pat--I can't thank you enough. When I receive messages like these, it just fills me up with joy, it's a constant blessing everyday. It truly makes me overwhelmed with happiness!!

Today, I traveled back in time to December 1st, 2008--Exactly two years ago, and found a very tough installment of this blog:

From Day 78 December 1st, 2008--

Not Perfect and That's OK

This has been a crazy day. Some days are so easy and then for no apparent reason I have a day like today. I've battled my will all day long. Then we took a nap at 3:30 with plans to get into the YMCA by 4:30 so I could get assistance with the machines and we ended up over-sleeping. After dinner I started getting sick to my stomach and a headache. So there ya go, a really challenging day, out of the blue without any obvious reason. I've had every last single calorie I can have today already and it's been a real struggle to not go over. I'm really going to have a long talk with myself before I go to sleep tonight. This is day 78, we've come too far to start having self-destructive urges. I wish I understood why? Usually there's some kind of stress trigger or emotion that I can pinpoint, but not today. I've been through these trying days before (see Day 60) and I've survived by focusing on getting to the next day intact. I just need to survive a couple more hours and I'll be in bed ready to put this day behind me. I am pretty upset about not working out, and now that I'm feeling sick and Courtney's not feeling well, we'll probably miss our workout tonight. That's not the worst thing in the world. We've missed some in the past, but it's certainly not an everyday thing. Considering the circumstances, I'm not going to feel too bad about not getting out there tonight. As long as I can get to bed without going over my calories, I'll count this day as a victory. I've learned that no matter how determined and strong willed I am on this mission, I mustn't try to be so darn perfect all the time. I'm way far from being perfect. I'm doing the best I can do and on 97% of the days that means I stay within my 1500 calories and I exercise. It's days like these, the days that test me, these are the days I'll remember most when I reach my goal. The near misses, near breakdowns, the unexplained absence of will power in critical situations, and overcoming them all, these are the victories that mean the most. I can and will do this all the way.

Sometimes the person that needs to read my past blog post the most is me. Before I ever experienced a tough day I wrote about how easy this was. In the right mindset it can really be a breeze, but like I've said before, this is a learning process. I've never claimed to know everything, all I have is my vast experience in being severely overweight my entire adult life and trying many times to lose weight. This is like weight loss school and every now and then there's a pop quiz that totally boggles me. I've studied my past behavior patterns, I've re-played failed attempts in my head, I've studied every label and calorie count I come across, and I'm still learning something new all the time. All I have to do is keep doing what I've been doing, stay strong and focused, and every thing will be alright, alright!

I'll tell you one thing, it's days like today when this blog really keeps me from a self-destructive binge. The accountability that this blog demands is very important to my mission. I've said it before, it's like therapy for me. I can't imagine not writing every night. A lot of times these blogs flow easy, some times it's harder, as I search for words to describe what I'm feeling and experiencing. The support that I receive everyday from my wife and kids, readers like you, and people that I run into that notice the difference in my appearance is incredible. That support is the most important resource I have along the way. The blog is like a back up re-enforcement. I sincerely appreciate you reading everyday. Thank you very much. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I will learn how to do the machines properly at the Y, tomorrow I will erase any doubts that this day presented, tomorrow is day 79, and I'm ready.

Friday morning found me and my friend Karen at JC Penney for their big doorbuster sale. I needed a coat, a jacket--a leather jacket was the plan. And I found a great jacket at a wonderful price. To just stroll into a store and grab a jacket off the rack and have it fit---and to realize it wasn't the biggest they had in stock---in fact, it wasn't even in the "big and tall" section---that is a wonderful NSV. These are incredible days!

I just received word that I'll be featured again, real soon--on AOL's thatsfit.com, as a "best of" success story of 2010. I'm thrilled! The doors that have opened because of that initial AOL feature, has been amazing. I swear--someday, I need to give a special gift back to Martha Edwards, the writer, and AOL. I sincerely appreciate their incredible support!

My focus for December must be squarely on finishing the manuscript for my first book. By Christmas, without fail. It's my Christmas gift to me!

Thank you for reading. I feel like there's so much more to talk about--but not enough time right now. This weekly posting is very tough for me to accept, but right now, it's necessary. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

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My Thanksgiving plate. It was simple, plenty, delicious, filling, and wonderful!

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I was so excited to try the dessert Karen made--I had consumed a few bites before I remembered to snap a picture!! That small slice of pumpkin pie there, that was all the pie I consumed on Thanksgiving...Very nice!

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Courtney and me--Thanksgiving 2010

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My daughters--I love them sooooo much!

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With grandma on Thanksgiving--She's the sweetest, most precious grandmother in the world!

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Mom and me--Enjoying Thanksgiving in her kitchen!

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With my Aunt Kelli on Thanksgiving

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Eating the turkey...I mean, uh---carving the turkey--yeah, that's what I was doing!!

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My daughters, Karen, and me. Karen's help on Thanksgiving was wonderful!! She made the most amazing dessert--a chocolate truffle type dish that totally rocked--and several other dishes. If you've read every single day of my blog, you know that I've learned tough lessons along the way about keeping my personal life private. Karen and I are certainly dating, but that's all I'll say about that! She's been an amazing friend! ;)

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The new Jacket

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The serious jacket pose---ha! ;)

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Big before picture--Over 500 pounds...and looking miserable, oh my...

19 comments:

  1. oh sean, congrats and I am happy for you for everything...the jacket, the food and the woman.
    Yeah! lol.
    Enjoy man. You earned it.

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  2. The last 3 pictures really did something to me. I had a looonnnng comment typed out & the part of me that likes to keep emotional sappiness in check decided to delete it...but I just want to say that I can totally relate to your 'Miserable face,' b/c it's one that I put on several times a day...if it's not always there. I am amazed & inspired by your journey, and I want to do a serious jacket pose too someday (soon) :) Thank you for all you're doing, and even though I only JUST started reading your blog & have just caught up to the present in the last couple of days, I'm really so proud of & happy for you!

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  3. I like the idea of rereading (past) daily blogs. I'm on day 133, so perhaps I need to visit YOUR day 133, Sean. You've had some terrific insights!

    December 17, 2009 = 327 lbs.
    December 1, 2010 = 257 lbs. (down 70) and falling ...

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  4. You look great in your new jacket. I'm honored that you quoted me in your blog today. I have one thing to add. Today I made a very ungraceful exit from London Drugs which ended with me laying face down on the floor. Well I kept my face and head from hitting the floor but the rest of me connected well with it. Had it been 31 lbs ago it wouldn't have ended as well. Trip to London Drugs for Celtic Thunder Christmas CD...16.99, Exiting the Store via tripping on the rug...great embarrasment, getting up quickly and making it to my car unassisted...Priceless! I sure do feel every joint now though!

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  5. I have followed your blog for awhile. You express your thoughts and feelings in a way that I could only dream of writing. I need to lose over 100 pounds and have started and failed numerous times. I set a goal to lose 40 pounds by March and I am nearly half way there. I am going to set smaller goals to stay on track. I will continue to read your blog and be inspired.

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  6. Hey babe!! Love the new jacket! All of your pics are awesome...glad you're feeling so good. :)

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  7. I would stick with your current calorie budget, too -- if you go to bed at night happy and satisfied with what you ate, you're fine. And you still don't know what your current budget will get you. Level out first so you know exactly where you are before you start tweaking, or else you'll be aiming at a moving target.

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  8. All of this sounds awesome and I'm glad it was such a happy day for you! And I KNOW you want to keep things private... but do you think Karen would share th recipe for that truffly thing? It looks fabulous!

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  9. I love the new jacket! I have always wanted a leather jacket but thought I would look too "large" in it. Definitely something I will do when I get to goal :-D

    P.S. I have learned the hard way about keeping private things private. Ughhh...

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  10. This is the perfect opportunity for you! Especially good press for your upcoming book!

    https://www.oprah.com/ownshow/plug_form.html?plug_id=6641709

    - a longtime reader

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  11. Privacy or not, do you think you can get Karen to share the recipe for that dessert? I'm serious, I want it!

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  12. Sean,

    Once again, a wonderful blog and I wish you all the happiness this world has to offer:) Keep on keepin' on!

    God Bless and Take Care Friend.

    Lisa

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  13. great pictures Sean. I am so proud of you. Apparently you did better on the Turkey day than I did. Congrats and give me some of that will power!

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  14. Great, great pictures. You have no idea how many people you have inspired. So good to see how you are enjoying your self at your GOAL weight.

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  15. The new jacket looks awesome!

    I just found your blog via "The Anti-Jared". It is fantastic and definitely inspirational! :)

    ~Kellie

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  16. We can't wait to read your book! You totally rock!

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  17. You look good Sean! You are an inspiration.

    Sara

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  18. I happened upon your story in the last AOL feature, and it inspired me to start my weightloss endevours anew. I've started chronicaling my journey on my own blog and I'd like to thank you for being such an inspiration.

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  19. You have such a wonderful family and you are very ambitious...

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