Better Sleep on The Way, Still Some Weight To Lose, and Another Speaking Engagement
I've been struggling with the effects of sleep apnea so much lately, I just feel wrecked half the time. The results of my sleep study on the night of December 30th require another sleep lab, this time with a cpap machine. I go in Thursday night for round two! They'll adjust the settings, find the perfect pressure, and I'll start feeling rested again! I think I'm finally over the stubbornness I've felt in accepting my post-weight loss sleep apnea problems. Yes--I thought my weight loss had totally liberated me from that disorder, and NO, it didn't. So I have a choice--I can be a big baby about it or I can count my blessings and realize how wonderfully lucky I've been along this road. I've discovered a new life of possibilities free from morbid obesity. So--a sleep disorder, easily treated with a life saving device? No problem. I had a cpap before and I slept wonderfully for years, despite my 500 pound body. It's time to feel rested at 229 or whatever I am now.
I haven't weighed in over four weeks. I must do it again real soon! I'll tell you this--I kind of feel like I may have gained a pound or two. Some of the pictures from my Lose To Win speaking engagement on the 13th, were less than flattering. You'll see. Oh--I'm so hard on myself, because really--compared to where I've been, it's all good. But the jeans I chose that night--I didn't like the fit. Now--when I say that I still have work to do--The people that send me messages telling me I don't, might agree. Some of it is the loose skin factor, but seriously---honestly--I could stand to lose another 15 pounds at least. Maybe even 20. Not necessarily in my upper body, but absolutely in my lower. The pictures will show. And the video that's coming will too. I swear--I'm not crazy or obsessed, my friend!! I'm just brutally honest with myself when it comes to these issues. I'm also very comfortable and confident, and that's something I've never experienced, ever--before now.
I'm eating around 1800 calories per day. Some days less, others a little more. It's a very relaxed approach. I still haven't revved up my workouts. Wow--that's been a running theme on this blog, huh? After 853 days, I'm still talking about needing to "amp up" my workouts. I hope that you realize, my example in the workout department isn't and never has been the best. There are friends of mine that know how to workout good and hard. I could learn a thing or two from you! And YOU know who you are!!
My life feels chaotic sometimes--as I try to juggle a full time job, write/finish this manuscript, and struggle with severe sleep deprivation because of the apnea. But we're getting there--slowly, but surely.
Communicating my story and weight loss methods/philosophy is certainly a passion. I can clearly see how this will be my future in every way. I can't think of a better future. The feedback I get from people who are discovering the power within to transform, is over the top--and it feels amazing to be involved in some small way.
The speaking engagement on the 13th was well received. I certainly feel like I communicated effectively. The main focus was all about getting very real and honest with ourselves and then throwing away the rule book--simplifying the process, and focusing on the right battle. I had a tremendous time and the comments after were wonderful! Big thanks to Gayle Williams of Womyn Aloud Productions for producing the opening segment and running the presentation on the big screen! And big thanks to David and Crystal Deken from Deke Media for the video production work!! The video will be available soon. You can visit Deke Media at www.Dekeonline.com
Beverly said-- Thank YOU Sean! You're such an inspiration and your talk was so appreciated. I hope everyone else took as much with them tonight as I did about not making this so hard.
Cathy said-- Sean, you were amazing!!! Your message was profound and I know so many are going to benefit from your personal story and your Transformation Road!!!
Barbara said--You were great tonight (as usual) Sean! I so enjoyed it and got a lot of motivation from it! I have started reading your blog from day one and read about 3 or 4 days each day. Also if I get to thinking about eating more then what I have on deposit in the bank, I pull up your blog and read one or two days and I'm good to go again! Thanks for helping all of us to "Transformation Road"!!!!
I traveled back in time to January of 2009 and found a nice excerpt from Day 130:
This journey is often times more mental workouts than physical ones. It is a mindset, it is a decision, and the rewards are the good consequences of those decisions. I was always too busy coming up with excuses for why I couldn't do this. But you know what? Once you really decide to do it 100%, the excuses lose their power completely. If you're facing this same struggle then embrace yourself and decide to live! Because this is living my friend. I may still be slightly over 400 pounds, but I can move again! I can go to Wal-Mart and walk the entire store with a positive-effortless stride instead of a labored waddle. I can breathe again, I can hurry if I need to, I can do things that 100 pounds ago was completely unthinkable. When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more. I have no idea what I'll feel like a hundred pounds lighter from now, but if it's as dramatic a change as the first hundred, then I can't wait!
Here we are, two years later--and yes, I know exactly what it feels like to lose the next 100 and then another 76 on top of that---It feels AMAZING! It's cool for me to go back and see how wonderful I felt--even at over 400 pounds. The road has been a joy for different reasons along the way. And it's been a struggle for other reasons. But in all--It's been one incredible ride. "When the results are that dramatic, it makes you want more." That is so true!! The results snowball effect!! Good choices lead to more good choices--and the results come with that consistent pursuit.
It's time to check the mailbag and feature a few wonderful messages! I sincerely appreciate every message and I absolutely LOVE updates on your personal success!! Let me know how you're doing!
Hi Sean! Just a note to say I LOVE your blog! Thank you for sharing your journey, and all the inspiration. An amazing journey. I just started my own weight loss journey on 1/1/11 and looking for friends to inspire and be inspired by. I hope you come by and visit my blog, and wishing you luck in everything you do! Hugs, Wendy Check out Wendy's blog at: http://www.WhyNOTme.us
Keep it up, you are right we need to inspire and empower people around us and influence them to what we have seen and experienced I have lost 50lbs in about 2 yrs and it feels awesome but reading your blogs keeps one in check. Thanks--Sam
Hello Sean, How are you? My name is Faye. My husband and I live in a suburb near Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! I WAS following your daily posts for a while, and then stopped. I'm BACK now and REALLY serious this time to lose this weight! I am now at 282, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSED to even type that number! I was wondering how do I figure out how many calories I should be eating to lose this weight??? I will be 59 in June and I have family in Rochester New York, my husband and I travel there in June to visit my brother and his wife and my niece and her husband and young son! I HAVE MADE A PROMISE to myself that I want to BE THINNER the next time we go! I SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOVE reading your posts and your pics are just unbelievable! YOU LOOK AMAZING! I KNOW you are so busy with all your posts and blogs and face book (I didn't check Facebook out yet, but will tonight) BUT, I am hoping you could give me an idea on calories! My neighbor and I are doing this together and she gave me the web site of Lance Armstrong site www.livestrong.com It states that I should be eating 1870 calories a day. Today is my 3rd day and I HATE to write what I eat, (its one of the reasons I didn't sign back up to weight watchers) BUT NOW I'M SO HAPPY TO SAY THAT I, YAY, AM TRACKING EVERYTHING and looking up calories too! I HAVE been a HUGE water drinker from way back and just got away from it some. I have been drinking a little over a half gallon every day, sometimes MORE! SO SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU SO LONG HERE AND OH, ONE MORE THING, YOUR FAMILY LOOKS SO NICE! ESPECIALLY YOUR MOM AND GRAND MOM! MINE ARE BOTH in Heaven! Many thanks in advance--Faye
Hi Sean, I am writing to let you know what your blog has done for me. Going back, I am 65 and had gotten a good scare with my Blood Pressure ( I am on meds already) and it wasn't coming back down. I had read your article and then signed on to your blog. Your blog has supported me as I kept a diary on line and measured portions and started the Exercise program SIT AND BE FIT on PBS which is a simple, easy going workout. So, over the last 6 months I have gotten healthier (and that's my goal), lost 27 pounds, and am feeling wonderful. Oh, and my BP is the lowest I have had in years. When I see my internist we will be discussing the amt. of meds I need now. My clothes fit comfortably and my energy level is up. I also don't mind having my picture taken either. I plan on living a good, long time and seeing my grandchildren grow up! Thank you for your continued blog articles and I go back and look at earlier diary entries too, and it really IS interesting! Keep on, keeping on!!! --Rosie
Hey there Sean, Wow...I started reading your blog and I found myself just in tears...reading about what you went through. Just letting you know and you probably hear this all the time but your honesty is so appreciated. I have to admit I read about you having to find a scale and that whole job interview...it made me cry. I just wanted to give you a great big hug. You are a brave soul to share this and having struggled with weight loss it hit a nerve. --Julie
Dave May, who works across the hall from me every morning on KLOR, has started his own blog. It's not a weight loss blog, but it's certainly interesting! His resolution for 2011 is to say nothing negative about anyone ever, for one year solid! How will this effect his life? How will it effect his family? How will it change him personally? Read and find out! He's recruited a pastor, a mental health professional, and an English professor to act as an "expert" panel throughout his journey to less negativity. You can read his interesting blog at www.saynothingnegative.blogspot.com
Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
On stage during the Lose To Win speaking engagement.
Another stage picture...
After interview--for the video
Recent--In studio Thank you Cathy Cole!
Today--George Harrison's sister Louise stopped by the show and had lunch with radio station staff and listeners at Mazzios. She looks so much like George, wow!! She was in town promoting an upcoming concert at the Poncan Theatre--Liverpool Legends will be on the Poncan Theatre Stage January 28th at 7:30pm--sponsored by RCB Bank and KLOR!
Huge before picture--alongside Amber, Courtney, and Irene
I've got a CPAP that's collecting dust. I hear so many people praising it, but I just can't seem to get to sleep with it on. I've tried several masks... Cheers!
ReplyDeleteOkay, dude:
ReplyDelete1) You LOOK FINE on stage.
2) It doesn't matter. Get to your goals and make yourself happy, and if that means dropping another 20 and running a half-mara, then do it. You don't strike me as someone who is happy unless you're shooting for something. You shot for the moon and hit it, now it's time to aim for Mars.
When I reach my goal weight and become the Oklahoma TOPS queen, are you willing to be the special speaker at the event? :) It will be May 2012 or so :)
ReplyDeleteWhat's the one element that is absolutely a necessary foundation for success? TELL ME PLEASE :-)!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteVirginia ( The Italian reader)
I feel very fortunate that I was able to shed the CPAP machine from my life.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, you are right- what is the big deal now. I mean, I understand you wanted to lose it, but you did live with it for a while- why can't you now if it will save your life?? And it will!!
This is really personal, but I don't think she will mind. My wife just got a CPAP about 2 years ago... shortly before the birth of our second child. Between those two births- she was a. not using a CPAP and b. had TWO miscarriages. The point is that we BOTH are convinced that the CPAP made a big difference in her pregnancy experience that 4th time around.
I think that it illustrates the importaince of addressing this disorder.
As usual... Thanks Sean!!
I've burned up 2 bipaps in the last 10 years, I have a cpap now from my brother. The sleep deprivation will get you, trust me I've been there. If you think the noise will bother you, you get use to it. Hopefully for me in about 100 pounds, I won't need it, I'm 290 right now and I'm fighten hard to go down as you did. I started my journey last January while I was recovering from waist down paralysis. The journey is hard, let no-body tell you different, but then again, you already know that.
ReplyDeleteUmm, lower body doesn't look good? Sorry, but my eyesight's bad. All I see is a very dark picture.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're back on the CPAP. Losing weight is not like waving a magic wand. If you need the CPAP, you need it. Period.
As for losing another 20 pounds, first go and get your fat/muscle ratio checked out. Then get a personal trainer to help you work on the soft bits. I doubt you need to lose any more weight (oh, and by the way, you can probably lose at least 10 pounds easily by removing the excess skin--if you feel it's absolutely necessary).
Sean, you've got your eating down to a science. More power to you. However, if you want that toned body, it's going to be through the right type of exercise, not further weight loss. In fact, if you start building more muscle, you might drop a size but (gulp) gain weight--healthy muscle weight.
You are one HOT radio guy :) Congrats my friend on a road well traveled.
ReplyDeleteSean,
ReplyDeleteI think that many of us stop short of losing as much weight as we really need to lose. And unless we are exercising faithfully, we start being complacent and gain a lb or two and then it creeps back on. There are plenty of methods for determining your ideal weight and you may need to lose more weight. If so, I can't think of anyone who could face it more clearly than you can. Your photos show nothing to be concerned about. I think, having lost 89 lbs, that our self-perception of our bodies changes as we adjust to being smaller -- and what seemed really small isn't quite as small as we think as we adjust. Unless you are really tall,
you are probably losing your comfort with 230 lbs. Dr. Oz has some things to say about the impact of 10 lbs on the body. I am a health professional -- maybe you need to lose 25 or 30 more lbs. Ask a professional to check out your BMI and to recommend a realistic and ideal weight. What I do know is that as you get lower in weight, your maintenance becomes less and the deficit between maintenance and weight loss becomes smaller -- resulting in slower weight loss, more ability to gain, and more need for exercise -- cardio in particular. I was in a hospital program and they told us how to do the math -- and it was amazingly accurate. If you stay at 1500 calories you will continue to lose comfortably and can decide where you should be.
I agree with your readers who say get checked out and work with a trainer if you can manage it. I would think that another 30 lbs of loss would make a difference in the loose skin -- you are young and it might help. It sounds as if you have "hit the wall" with the first goal and aren't feeling as good about yourself as you want to feel -- being affected by the sleep apnea too. I'm guessing and I had this experience that you have a few more pounds to lose and a fitness program ahead which needs to feature more cardio but whether you do or not, you have done an amazing job. Getting to goal requires a reassessment and an adjustment. Adjusting to being smaller is not really a small thing -- it's a huge psychological process and it requires completely reassessing our own body imagine. Don't give up for a second and remember to pray and love yourself.
I am one of your fans -- read everything you write.
"I swear--I'm not crazy or obsessed, my friend! I'm just brutally honest with myself when it comes to these issues. I'm also very comfortable and confident, and that's something I've never experienced, ever--before now."
ReplyDeleteSean, no matter how thin you are, or how in shape you are, you will be never be completely satisfied if you are focusing on the outward shell. The inside of that shell is most important. Taking care of ourselves includes the outer shell, but more importantly, the inner shell. Our outer shell will never get us to Heaven, it is temporary. The inner shell/soul will:) Who we are on the inside is much more important than who we are on the outside. I am not preaching!:)
Take Care and God Bless!
Hi Sean
ReplyDeleteWhat is the one element that is absolutely a necessary foundation for success? i'm new to this? ( new to the plan to loose loads of weight and new to blogging)
I will read your blog from day 1 - you look amazing - its very inspirational
Dawn
Hey Sean,
ReplyDeleteNathaniel Here, That is so earie. I too was doing a sleep study on December 30th. I go back this monday for one with a cpap machine. I cant wait for the next weigh in. Im doing good so far. Keep up the good work, and GOOD LUCK to everyone else.
Glad to see you are having your sleep apnea looked at.
ReplyDeleteSean, JUST discovered your blog this morning! LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the motivation! Geting on the treadmill now
Have a pretty day!
Kristin
p.s. I LOVE Oklahoma.
Boy, that not weighing in for a month scares me, Sean. The problem when you get out of that tightly focused losing mode is that it's a lot harder to shift it into gear than it was before (or at least that's what I've found). But you're right... it's still FANTASTIC, but the key is to keep it that way!
ReplyDeleteI want your smooth voice.
ReplyDeleteYou are listening to WRQZ in Orrrrlando. Coming up, Hall and Oates, but now, Hit me with your Best Shot, it's Pat Benetar.
See, not even close to your voice.
What you eat can greatly affect Better Sleep, even during the early half of the day. Eat breakfast first thing in the morning to Better Sleep at night, and make sure it's a big one. After eating well throughout the day, avoid eating spicy or junk foods at night for Better Sleep, and instead choose something that will help you drift off. And remember: no booze! Not only will it not help you get to Better Sleep, it'll cause you to snore all night, too.
ReplyDelete