Since our last edition: I've maintained the integrity of my food plan boundaries, I've remained refined sugar-free, I've met or exceeded my daily water goal, I've enjoyed some good walks, some bodyweight strength exercises, and I've stayed well connected with exceptional support.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
What is true and what can I do? The serenity prayer and those two questions help me connect with a measure of serenity each and every day. I write, "a measure" because if it were 100% serenity right now, I wouldn't be a human, I'd be a robot. I'm not a robot. Connecting with what is true helps me develop a strong gratitude list. There's much for which to be grateful, even during these times, right?
Waking up to missed calls and voicemails from mom's nursing home is never good. My mind often goes to the worst-case scenario. I took a deep breath and called them back. Mom fell again this morning. She's too weak physically to get up and around on her own, but she tends to forget that too easily. She's okay except for some bumps and bruising. No broken bones and no hospital trip.
After mom wasn't showing signs of improvement earlier in the week, they switched her antibiotic and it seems to be working well. She has much less brain fog it seems--and perhaps that's an indicator of the UTI gradually clearing.
Mom and I enjoyed a good "through the glass" visit last evening. It was a good long visit complemented by video chat connections with a lot of family members, including grandkids, her sisters, brother in law, and brother. Mom didn't suggest I sneak in for a fast hug like times before--and that showed me how, for the moment, she has greater clarity and more understanding of why these precautions are necessary right now. Considering the isolation of it all, she seems to be holding up really well in terms of her spirits and perspective.
My prayers are with so many during this unprecedented time in our history. How quickly things have changed for everyone. I can't even imagine the challenges facing those who are on the front lines of this pandemic--the doctors and nurses--the patients and families. The nasty element of isolation this virus requires--it's so sad. The stories, the news--part of keeping some kind of balance has quickly become managing the amount of news and information I'm consuming. I'm staying connected with reality, every day, but also allowing myself to take "mental health breaks" to simply enjoy a video chat with family and/or friends--or watching something that makes me laugh and smile.
I took extra time preparing my meal this morning. This slowing down and connecting with the process of planning, chopping, mixing, weighing and measuring, logging it in MFP, and creating the plate--then snapping an accountability pic and sharing that information publicly, gives me a measure of peace and calm. It isn't the food that comforts me, it's the slowing down; connecting with the boundaries of the process that helps. All the times in my life when I was "in the food," I couldn't eat fast enough--oftentimes so fast, I'd get sick and even if I didn't get sick, I'd shovel it in so quickly there was hardly ever any enjoyment--and this pattern would "inspire" me to eat more and more in a relentless search for what I believed it would give me.
I hope and pray I don't ever again forget the real and profound sources for mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual comfort. I know it isn't found on my plate or in the fridge. But that doesn't really matter. The disease of compulsive overeating/food addiction doesn't give a flip about what I know or don't know.
It's never what we know that counts, it's always what we do. At least that's what I've witnessed and continue to witness in the lives of those with longterm recovery. I'll continue keeping my mind and ears open and learning from what they do and how they make "it" important each new day, come what may.
Do you own an "I'm Choosing Change" wristband? I wear mine daily as a constant reminder of why my daily practice of things is important. For me, it's simply a daily reminder to be open, willing, mindful, to pause, and to be intentional. If I'm not those things, I get stuck at the line of least resistance and back there is where the old patterns and behaviors thrive. Your order includes priority shipping so you'll get it quickly! Here's the link to order yours right now: https://imchoosingchange.com/product/wristband/
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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Practice, peace, and calm,
Sean
My website: www.imchoosingchange.com
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It is so nice to see your mom's happy smile! I've been praying for her! I can't imagine how hard it is that you can't go in and see her, but at least you can cheer her up, and she seems better. (4 of my kids are in the medical field, one works on a Covid floor, then goes home to her 12 week old baby and 4 yr. old). It's hard. It's a strange world. There are 8 of us here at home, holed up from the world, mostly, and the kids like to eat! So here I am, sticking to my NO SUGAR, and it's hard! But I find that if I try really hard to be faithful to eating well, I feel better in the long run. Anyway, lets all keep praying for each other, and let's not lose heart. It WILL get better.
ReplyDeleteDella