Day 279
Calorie Budget Integrity and Jumping Rope
We've had company for the past couple of days. Amber's boyfriend KL, and KL's parents came up for Friday and Saturday. It was a wonderful visit, but too short! They're good people. It gave me an opportunity to cook for them, and I love cooking for people! I just really enjoy cooking and experimenting in the kitchen and on the grill. This morning I made most everyone breakfast and this afternoon I loaded up the grill with chicken. The chicken dinner was fantastic! I grill it slow and juicy, then I made a glaze out of steak sauce, mustard, and sweet and sour sauce, a teaspoon of each total, to brush a thin glaze on every piece. It was very tasty and low cal! When I first met KL's parents last year I weighed over 500 pounds, so they are completely blown away by my weight loss. I love getting reactions of “wow.” It feels so good to blow peoples minds with this dramatic transformation. I really love it when the person blown away is someone struggling with obesity. As I explain what I've experienced and learned along the way, it's cool to see their eyes light up with, wow, I could do this too. I always start by explaining where I was. I don't just say, “uh yeah, I was 505 pounds.” I explain where I was for so long emotionally and physically. How I always struggled and why I was never able to really do it before. In hearing my story, they end up seeing themselves, then to see me now, it just really makes it all seem possible. My hope is that it gives them inspiration. However, I've learned that no amount of inspiration can do it for someone. It really must come from within each individual. You can break it down in the simplest of terms, plus lead with the absolute best example, and if they're not able or willing to get in, get honest, get moving and stay in the right mindset, then they'll struggle like I did for so long. It is a rock solid commitment to change, but it's so worth every bit of effort.
The honesty part of this journey is so crucial. Without being completely honest with ourselves and others, we're simply wasting our time. I can remember past weight loss attempts where I would lie about how many calories I had remaining for the day, just so I could eat more later in front of everyone without them thinking I was going over. I knew I was going over, but I didn't want them to know. The problem is simple: It shows up on weigh day. And it gradually gets worse. I would continue doing it so regularly that eventually I stopped weighing in all together, refusing to see the damage I'd done. The gradual breakdown of so many of my past weight loss attempts always started with “fudging” on my calories. Being completely honest about my caloric intake everyday has been a crucial part of my success thus far. I noticed a loved one doing this very thing recently. I knew they had consumed more than what they were saying, but I didn't call them on it, I'll wait until weigh day. When the results are not what they wanted and not even close, we'll sit down and have a very serious and private conversation about the importance of calorie budget integrity. It's vital, because often times that kind of behavior is the beginning of the end of a weight loss attempt, OK, not “often times,” every time. And I care way to much about this person to allow it to go completely unchecked and ignored.
We purchased a new workout tool that I believe will make a significant difference in our daily workouts. It only cost seven bucks too. It's a Gold's Gym jump rope. I haven't jumped rope since I was in grade school, but I did tonight. I only completed five sets of ten jumps, but like anything else, that will increase rapidly with consistent effort. It's an amazing cardio exercise. Some experts I've found online compare the calories burned jumping rope to that of running. I do recommend making sure your pants are securely fastened before you start jumping. I almost completely lost mine twice tonight...and once while the camera was rolling for another “On The Go” Video posted below. I need to do more of those, they're fun! I'm wearing a shirt tonight that I wore at my top weight, it's always been one of my favorites, so it's hard to let it go. You don't see the full impact of my transformation when I wear big and baggy clothes. I'm still working on getting more and I've been lucky enough to have friends give me some of their old clothes that are too big now that they too have been losing. It's been a real blessing!
We hit the trail tonight in this extreme humidity, it makes it so hard to breathe! Our plan was a power walking 5K, but we shortened it to a “Hard Two,” when I started developing sore spots on my heels. I failed to put on socks before leaving, my fault. I need new socks (that's not a fathers day gift hint or anything—family---Uh, big and tall socks) I thought I could just tie the shoes real tight and I wouldn't have a problem, but at a mile and three quarters it started rubbing real good. Jump rope and a hard two, not the best workout performance so far, but it was a workout.
Thank you so much for reading and following my progress. Day 280, fathers day, is only hours away! Actually it's already officially fathers day, but I don't count it until I wake up for the day, then...Let the pampering begin! There will be pampering, right? Have a fantastic Sunday! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Courtney is shooting for 350 jumps per day. I did 50 tonight and will gradually increase everyday.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Day 278 Tragedy Plus Time Equals Comedy Gold
Day 278
Tragedy Plus Time Equals Comedy Gold
As I look back on this journey so far and comb the archives, I realize that some of my favorite days involved recalling situations and circumstances that at the time might have been painful or embarrassing. They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, and it's so true. I'm at a point where I can look back and laugh, or at least smile. I may not have been at that point on the night I originally wrote about it, but now after dropping the first 176 pounds, I have a liberated feeling and the confidence that I'll never go back. I'll briefly recap this successful Friday after we travel back into the archives for some memorable stories from a morbidly obese past: From Day 25 “The McSeatbelt”---A few months ago I was getting ready to head home one evening when I decided that instead of cooking, we would have McDonalds. I drove to the drive through and loaded up with nearly twenty bucks and 4500 calories worth of double cheeseburgers, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, a Filet-O-Fish with extra tarter sauce, and another bag dedicated to the fries. We were going large that night. I was nearly three blocks away from home when a motorcycle police officer pulled me over. He walked up to the passenger side window and stuck his head in right above all that food. I can't believe he didn't sneak a fry or two, they were right there in his face and the hypnotizing aroma filled the van. He told me that he was pulling me over because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I want to wear it, and I've tried to wear it, I've even given myself a charley horse in my side trying to buckle that thing, it just will not click. So I told him that I couldn't wear the seatbelt because it didn't fit...I went on to tell him that I was working on losing the weight (a lie at the time) and soon I would be able to click the seatbelt without giving myself a hernia in the attempt. He told me to wait right there, and he went back to his motorbike. I don't know what he was saying on his radio, but I can only imagine the story he told to his fellow officers about the guy who couldn't fit in the seatbelt... “then he said he was working on losing weight...the guy had 23 McDonalds bags in the front seat!”. It was real hard to keep a straight face when I told him that I was trying to lose weight while all the hot food right beside me was wafting in his face. He came back and told me that after considering the circumstances he would give me a warning this time, and that I needed to look into getting some seatbelt extenders. I guarantee he re-told that story when he got home... “you wouldn't believe the guy I pulled over today”. Before he walked away I really wanted to tell him that the food wasn't all for me. I didn't, I was too embarrassed to say anything but thank you. When I got home I told my family about the traffic stop, and despite the seriousness of not being able to fit in a seat belt, we couldn't help but laugh at that slice of comedy gold, then we ate everything in those 23 bags...actually it was only two bags. There isn't a seat belt I can't click easily now.
I've probably destroyed nearly a dozen or more chairs over the last twenty years. I'm lucky I never seriously hurt myself through all of the destruction! Out of all the chairs I've busted, this memory stands out as the worst chair breaking story I've ever experienced: From Day 8--- My worst chair story happened in the spring of 2003. I was living in Los Angeles at the time doing stand-up 100%. One day I ran across a part time on-air opening at Westwood One Radio Networks. A part-time job there would pay about or a little more than full time salaries anywhere else I had ever worked. So needless to say I was excited about winning over this network program director! I sent in my material and what do you know, he called me! He was seriously considering hiring me! Or he wouldn't have called right? I was thrilled. I would be on the air all over the nation! “This could be big”, I thought. The PD called me in for an interview the very next day. I drove to Valencia early to beat whatever traffic might get in the way, then after arriving an hour and a half early I took a long lunch at the Burger King down the road from Magic Mountain. When I finally arrived at Westwood One I was immediately given the grand tour of the facilities. Very nice. I mean, extremely nice studios. I was so impressed. The PD seemed very cool and I felt very comfortable, that is until I walked into his office for the interview. I noticed right away his guest chairs were not “fat friendly”. Extremely narrow arms and that wood and hot glued look. The PD took his chair behind his desk and told me to have a seat. I was afraid he was going to expect me to sit down! So I did...as lightly as I could on the very edge of the chair...and about point 2 seconds later the chair crumbled under my weight. I quickly caught myself from falling by grabbing his desk, but the chair wasn't so lucky. And neither were my chances of getting that job. After I broke one of his chairs, he invited me to sit in the other chair that WAS IDENTICAL to the one I just broke!!! I did, the same way as before, but this time with as much weight on my feet against the floor. Lucky for me the second chair somehow survived. My interview didn't. He never called me back. And I bet he tells that story to this day around the halls and studios of Westwood One Radio. Glad I could add some humor to their work place. There isn't a chair I can't sit in now, even the plastic patio white chairs are fine, I tried one not that long ago and it was a wonderful experience!
Have you ever felt like you were being targeted by food advertising? A Day when every time you turn around, you notice a sign promoting something yummy? Day 36 “Marquee Conspiracy” was it for me: Some days it seems like there's an elaborate conspiracy to get me to come down off the wagon. It's like all of the restaurants and convenience store delis got together and decided to tempt me all at the same time. Like my abstinence from high calorie foods is driving their business into the ground. I can just imagine all of them getting together for an emergency meeting: (insert dream sequence harp music here) The meeting is just getting started when the leader of the conspiracy—The Blue Bell Delivery guy says “All right people, let's keep it together, he's on day 36 now, and we all know that if he gets to Day 100, some of us are going to start going under”... “But what do we do?” Screams a nervous restaurant manager “He seems so determined! Just the other day he was offered a toasted 800 calorie sub for free and he turned it down!!” (Crowd Gasp)... The King from BK then chimes in with “We've got to work together, we need to know his exact driving route, then we'll put all of the high calorie foods he loves on our marquees.” Then Bill Braum stands up and ask “Do you think it will work?” Ronald McDonald tries to make a serious face to say “It may be the only chance we have to break him, now get out there kids and start putting up those signs, and if you can show him pictures, that's even better.” Hey, it's a dream sequence, and dreams get crazy! They were really giving it their best shot today. In just a few mile stretch, I drove past several different signs all just begging me to come in and forget about this little journey. The first sign read “half price ice cream and drinks 2-4pm”...No Sean, keep it together...Then-- “two corn dogs 4 a dollar” ...nice try!---then “Try a Banana Pudding Shake” Stop it!...the next sign was “Try our new oven baked sandwiches” It didn't work last Thursday, and it's not working today! ...then it was “Large Frozen Yogurt Waffle Cone $1.79”...Then a big banner with the most delicious picture of a big, gigantic, king sized Mushroom and Swiss burger, with the invite-- “Try a Mushroom and Swiss Steakhouse Burger.” No King! Leave me be! Before I could get to the safety of my garage I drove by a banner picture of a foot-long chili cheese coney...It was the size of my van! Have mercy! I can't help it, I'm a sign reader! I've always been a sign reader... I wonder what their strategy will be tomorrow? Whatever it is I know I'll survive, cause I'm determined my friend. They would have to come out into traffic and stuff the food in my mouth by force at the stoplight, and if that happens, well...we'd have to reach some kind of low calorie peace accord with these nuts. I'm done now. That was fun. I'm no longer tempted by outdoor food advertising.
These are just a few Days that made me smile. There have been many more! We'll have to do this again sometime!
I'll be honest, I'm so sleepy right now, I can barely keep my eyes open. I can't think straight, hence the “Best of Humorous Stories” format of tonight's post. I hope you laughed or at least smiled. I had less than three hours sleep last night, no nap today because we have company, and we completed an exhausting swimming workout tonight. We took turns racing each other the length of the pool. That was a killer workout! Then I did pull ups on the slide! Today was fantastic food and exercise wise. We even went out and bought a jump rope tonight. I haven't jumped rope since I was in 4th grade. I will tomorrow! Thank you kindly for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tragedy Plus Time Equals Comedy Gold
As I look back on this journey so far and comb the archives, I realize that some of my favorite days involved recalling situations and circumstances that at the time might have been painful or embarrassing. They say tragedy plus time equals comedy, and it's so true. I'm at a point where I can look back and laugh, or at least smile. I may not have been at that point on the night I originally wrote about it, but now after dropping the first 176 pounds, I have a liberated feeling and the confidence that I'll never go back. I'll briefly recap this successful Friday after we travel back into the archives for some memorable stories from a morbidly obese past: From Day 25 “The McSeatbelt”---A few months ago I was getting ready to head home one evening when I decided that instead of cooking, we would have McDonalds. I drove to the drive through and loaded up with nearly twenty bucks and 4500 calories worth of double cheeseburgers, Quarter Pounders with Cheese, a Filet-O-Fish with extra tarter sauce, and another bag dedicated to the fries. We were going large that night. I was nearly three blocks away from home when a motorcycle police officer pulled me over. He walked up to the passenger side window and stuck his head in right above all that food. I can't believe he didn't sneak a fry or two, they were right there in his face and the hypnotizing aroma filled the van. He told me that he was pulling me over because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I want to wear it, and I've tried to wear it, I've even given myself a charley horse in my side trying to buckle that thing, it just will not click. So I told him that I couldn't wear the seatbelt because it didn't fit...I went on to tell him that I was working on losing the weight (a lie at the time) and soon I would be able to click the seatbelt without giving myself a hernia in the attempt. He told me to wait right there, and he went back to his motorbike. I don't know what he was saying on his radio, but I can only imagine the story he told to his fellow officers about the guy who couldn't fit in the seatbelt... “then he said he was working on losing weight...the guy had 23 McDonalds bags in the front seat!”. It was real hard to keep a straight face when I told him that I was trying to lose weight while all the hot food right beside me was wafting in his face. He came back and told me that after considering the circumstances he would give me a warning this time, and that I needed to look into getting some seatbelt extenders. I guarantee he re-told that story when he got home... “you wouldn't believe the guy I pulled over today”. Before he walked away I really wanted to tell him that the food wasn't all for me. I didn't, I was too embarrassed to say anything but thank you. When I got home I told my family about the traffic stop, and despite the seriousness of not being able to fit in a seat belt, we couldn't help but laugh at that slice of comedy gold, then we ate everything in those 23 bags...actually it was only two bags. There isn't a seat belt I can't click easily now.
I've probably destroyed nearly a dozen or more chairs over the last twenty years. I'm lucky I never seriously hurt myself through all of the destruction! Out of all the chairs I've busted, this memory stands out as the worst chair breaking story I've ever experienced: From Day 8--- My worst chair story happened in the spring of 2003. I was living in Los Angeles at the time doing stand-up 100%. One day I ran across a part time on-air opening at Westwood One Radio Networks. A part-time job there would pay about or a little more than full time salaries anywhere else I had ever worked. So needless to say I was excited about winning over this network program director! I sent in my material and what do you know, he called me! He was seriously considering hiring me! Or he wouldn't have called right? I was thrilled. I would be on the air all over the nation! “This could be big”, I thought. The PD called me in for an interview the very next day. I drove to Valencia early to beat whatever traffic might get in the way, then after arriving an hour and a half early I took a long lunch at the Burger King down the road from Magic Mountain. When I finally arrived at Westwood One I was immediately given the grand tour of the facilities. Very nice. I mean, extremely nice studios. I was so impressed. The PD seemed very cool and I felt very comfortable, that is until I walked into his office for the interview. I noticed right away his guest chairs were not “fat friendly”. Extremely narrow arms and that wood and hot glued look. The PD took his chair behind his desk and told me to have a seat. I was afraid he was going to expect me to sit down! So I did...as lightly as I could on the very edge of the chair...and about point 2 seconds later the chair crumbled under my weight. I quickly caught myself from falling by grabbing his desk, but the chair wasn't so lucky. And neither were my chances of getting that job. After I broke one of his chairs, he invited me to sit in the other chair that WAS IDENTICAL to the one I just broke!!! I did, the same way as before, but this time with as much weight on my feet against the floor. Lucky for me the second chair somehow survived. My interview didn't. He never called me back. And I bet he tells that story to this day around the halls and studios of Westwood One Radio. Glad I could add some humor to their work place. There isn't a chair I can't sit in now, even the plastic patio white chairs are fine, I tried one not that long ago and it was a wonderful experience!
Have you ever felt like you were being targeted by food advertising? A Day when every time you turn around, you notice a sign promoting something yummy? Day 36 “Marquee Conspiracy” was it for me: Some days it seems like there's an elaborate conspiracy to get me to come down off the wagon. It's like all of the restaurants and convenience store delis got together and decided to tempt me all at the same time. Like my abstinence from high calorie foods is driving their business into the ground. I can just imagine all of them getting together for an emergency meeting: (insert dream sequence harp music here) The meeting is just getting started when the leader of the conspiracy—The Blue Bell Delivery guy says “All right people, let's keep it together, he's on day 36 now, and we all know that if he gets to Day 100, some of us are going to start going under”... “But what do we do?” Screams a nervous restaurant manager “He seems so determined! Just the other day he was offered a toasted 800 calorie sub for free and he turned it down!!” (Crowd Gasp)... The King from BK then chimes in with “We've got to work together, we need to know his exact driving route, then we'll put all of the high calorie foods he loves on our marquees.” Then Bill Braum stands up and ask “Do you think it will work?” Ronald McDonald tries to make a serious face to say “It may be the only chance we have to break him, now get out there kids and start putting up those signs, and if you can show him pictures, that's even better.” Hey, it's a dream sequence, and dreams get crazy! They were really giving it their best shot today. In just a few mile stretch, I drove past several different signs all just begging me to come in and forget about this little journey. The first sign read “half price ice cream and drinks 2-4pm”...No Sean, keep it together...Then-- “two corn dogs 4 a dollar” ...nice try!---then “Try a Banana Pudding Shake” Stop it!...the next sign was “Try our new oven baked sandwiches” It didn't work last Thursday, and it's not working today! ...then it was “Large Frozen Yogurt Waffle Cone $1.79”...Then a big banner with the most delicious picture of a big, gigantic, king sized Mushroom and Swiss burger, with the invite-- “Try a Mushroom and Swiss Steakhouse Burger.” No King! Leave me be! Before I could get to the safety of my garage I drove by a banner picture of a foot-long chili cheese coney...It was the size of my van! Have mercy! I can't help it, I'm a sign reader! I've always been a sign reader... I wonder what their strategy will be tomorrow? Whatever it is I know I'll survive, cause I'm determined my friend. They would have to come out into traffic and stuff the food in my mouth by force at the stoplight, and if that happens, well...we'd have to reach some kind of low calorie peace accord with these nuts. I'm done now. That was fun. I'm no longer tempted by outdoor food advertising.
These are just a few Days that made me smile. There have been many more! We'll have to do this again sometime!
I'll be honest, I'm so sleepy right now, I can barely keep my eyes open. I can't think straight, hence the “Best of Humorous Stories” format of tonight's post. I hope you laughed or at least smiled. I had less than three hours sleep last night, no nap today because we have company, and we completed an exhausting swimming workout tonight. We took turns racing each other the length of the pool. That was a killer workout! Then I did pull ups on the slide! Today was fantastic food and exercise wise. We even went out and bought a jump rope tonight. I haven't jumped rope since I was in 4th grade. I will tomorrow! Thank you kindly for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Day 277 A Weighs To Go and Overcoming Struggles
Day 277
A Weighs To Go and Overcoming Struggles
The “wow” reactions to the grilling “before” and “in progress” pics were wonderfully overwhelming today. Numerous calls, e-mails, comments; and I cherish every single one. Thank you sincerely, really, your support and kindness strengthens my resolve. I think they could build a space shuttle out of my resolve and it would be stronger than whatever they're using now, what is it, titanium alloy? Whatever! Out of all my “Before” and “In Progress” pics posted throughout this journey, last night's had the biggest impact on me. I look at it and I wonder, is that really me? I can't believe it's me in either picture. I never realized I looked that big and it's hard to see myself as that small. I'm adjusting to the idea, the realization that I'm no longer that grotesquely obese “could drop dead” any minute because of it guy. (You'll have to forgive me, I'm addicted to quotation marks and exclamation points, it goes with the territory.) I've always carried my weight well. That's why it shocked so many of my friends and co-workers when they realized I weighed over 500 pounds when I started. It reminds me of the blog I wrote on Day 33 titled “Go Ahead Make Your Best Guess,” the following is an excerpt from that mid October day: I'm very fortunate in that I've never looked my weight. My entire life I've heard “you carry it well”. I guess I have, and I've never had someone correctly guess my weight. You know those people that work at the fair guessing peoples weight and age? They never guess right. And you would think they would get close, but I remember one time one of these “professionals” guessing my weight 100 pounds off. Too bad you can't make money on that, because I could just travel the country having people guess my weight and they would lose every time. I know, I could travel around to all the state fairs challenging the guessers and winning in every state, but it only pays in stuffed animals, and cute and cuddly doesn't fill the tank. I think I'll stick with losing weight. This “carry it well” thing has really sparked a debate between my wife and me. She thinks that I may have set my goal too low, that maybe 275, at the very least 250 should be the goal. But I'm head strong, 230 is what I said in the beginning and 230 is what it will be. Here's the thing, I still have a bunch of fat to lose. Sure, I can look fine in clothes for the first time ever, but clothes are kind. I know what I see in the mirror, I know what Irene sees, and I know what I want. I'm not just wanting to lose the weight, I'm wanting to build a body so extremely opposite of my former 500 pound self, that it will absolutely astonish anyone and everyone to the point of disbelief. I'm gonna lose the next 99 pounds and see where it puts me physically. I plan on gaining a good amount of poundage worth of muscle too, so maybe it goes like this: I lose down to 230, I get excess skin removed bringing my weight down to say, 210, (I'm guessing here...I really haven't a clue how much my excess skin will weigh), then I add a bunch of lean muscle from now through whenever. At 6' 3” I could be one lean--completely fit 260 pound man. The reality is simple, if I start looking “skinny” then I've probably lost all I need to lose. If that happens at 250, then we'll certainly evaluate the situation. My wife may be right. She's reading this thinking maybe? She has a habit of being right most of the time! I'm just going to keep on doing what I do. I refuse to stress over hypothetical situations. It's all good!
I talked to a couple of friends today that are struggling horribly. I made a point to visit with them both and I hope our talks helped. I understand the look in their eyes, the feelings of failure, the hopelessness that engulfs what we perceive as another failed attempt. Often times, OK, all the time, those feelings do nothing but compound the problem. Never give up, never accept defeat. This is too important my friend. For both of these individuals, the weight is potentially life threatening, but how do we regain control? I strongly advise writing out what we want out of life. I've mentioned “motivating thoughts” many times before. Write them down and keep them on you or at least somewhere close. Find a big before picture and put it where you see it all the time, or keep it in your pocket or purse. I have two giant three foot by four foot poster size before pictures that stare me down every time I pull into our garage. I wish I could find a magic word that would make it perfectly clear how to shake a slump and turn it around. I certainly don't mean to make it sound easy, we all know it's not, but I hope you'll remember this: I spent the better part of twenty years at or above 500 pounds. My attempts and failures were numerous and painful. I've been there where you are right now. If it's stressful triggers that are trying to steal this from you, I give you this from Day 155: I've learned to identify them and defend against them. “Stressful Triggers” meet “Motivating Thoughts,” now “Motivating Thoughts,” kick “Stressful Triggers” rear end. These mental exercises may sound crazy sometimes, but believe me, they do wonders for my success. Stressful Triggers do not roam alone either, oh no, they have a best friends named “Emotional Blahs.” You know what I'm talking about. Those days when, for whatever reason, we just feel “not with it.” I don't have time to feel “not with it.” Do I still have emotional days where I feel vulnerable? Of course! Don't we all? I just handle them very differently now. I can remember saying “I don't feel like working out,” but I've found if you just go do it, you'll feel incredible in a very short time. By the time you start “feeling like” working out, you're done. When I think back on all the emotional ups and downs along the way so far, from losing loved ones, to re-connecting with my father, to losing a brother I never knew, to speaking for the very first time with another brother I've never known, to the holidays, and right through disappointing weigh day totals where I thought I deserved better results...I have to say, I'm doing this. I'm doing this right here and right now. And there's no settling for anything less than total health and fitness. There isn't a stressful trigger or emotional blah that can break my stride now my friend. Defend against them. You can do it. Don't give up you're dream, don't do it! You know the motions, now get the emotions, and don't let them take this away from you.
I've got a workout to do yet tonight! I'm lacing up and headed for the trail for a power walking 5K in the humid Oklahoma night. And if you think I write things like the previous paragraph exclusively to benefit struggling friends, you would be half right. I write them to remind myself, to strengthen me mentally, and to evaluate my inner workings. You probably already know that the mental part of losing weight successfully is the biggest, and that's an understatement!
Thanks for reading and following along. Irene has agreed that we'll take some “In progress” pics of her this weekend for the blog. Thank you for the wonderful support and words of encouragement! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
A Weighs To Go and Overcoming Struggles
The “wow” reactions to the grilling “before” and “in progress” pics were wonderfully overwhelming today. Numerous calls, e-mails, comments; and I cherish every single one. Thank you sincerely, really, your support and kindness strengthens my resolve. I think they could build a space shuttle out of my resolve and it would be stronger than whatever they're using now, what is it, titanium alloy? Whatever! Out of all my “Before” and “In Progress” pics posted throughout this journey, last night's had the biggest impact on me. I look at it and I wonder, is that really me? I can't believe it's me in either picture. I never realized I looked that big and it's hard to see myself as that small. I'm adjusting to the idea, the realization that I'm no longer that grotesquely obese “could drop dead” any minute because of it guy. (You'll have to forgive me, I'm addicted to quotation marks and exclamation points, it goes with the territory.) I've always carried my weight well. That's why it shocked so many of my friends and co-workers when they realized I weighed over 500 pounds when I started. It reminds me of the blog I wrote on Day 33 titled “Go Ahead Make Your Best Guess,” the following is an excerpt from that mid October day: I'm very fortunate in that I've never looked my weight. My entire life I've heard “you carry it well”. I guess I have, and I've never had someone correctly guess my weight. You know those people that work at the fair guessing peoples weight and age? They never guess right. And you would think they would get close, but I remember one time one of these “professionals” guessing my weight 100 pounds off. Too bad you can't make money on that, because I could just travel the country having people guess my weight and they would lose every time. I know, I could travel around to all the state fairs challenging the guessers and winning in every state, but it only pays in stuffed animals, and cute and cuddly doesn't fill the tank. I think I'll stick with losing weight. This “carry it well” thing has really sparked a debate between my wife and me. She thinks that I may have set my goal too low, that maybe 275, at the very least 250 should be the goal. But I'm head strong, 230 is what I said in the beginning and 230 is what it will be. Here's the thing, I still have a bunch of fat to lose. Sure, I can look fine in clothes for the first time ever, but clothes are kind. I know what I see in the mirror, I know what Irene sees, and I know what I want. I'm not just wanting to lose the weight, I'm wanting to build a body so extremely opposite of my former 500 pound self, that it will absolutely astonish anyone and everyone to the point of disbelief. I'm gonna lose the next 99 pounds and see where it puts me physically. I plan on gaining a good amount of poundage worth of muscle too, so maybe it goes like this: I lose down to 230, I get excess skin removed bringing my weight down to say, 210, (I'm guessing here...I really haven't a clue how much my excess skin will weigh), then I add a bunch of lean muscle from now through whenever. At 6' 3” I could be one lean--completely fit 260 pound man. The reality is simple, if I start looking “skinny” then I've probably lost all I need to lose. If that happens at 250, then we'll certainly evaluate the situation. My wife may be right. She's reading this thinking maybe? She has a habit of being right most of the time! I'm just going to keep on doing what I do. I refuse to stress over hypothetical situations. It's all good!
I talked to a couple of friends today that are struggling horribly. I made a point to visit with them both and I hope our talks helped. I understand the look in their eyes, the feelings of failure, the hopelessness that engulfs what we perceive as another failed attempt. Often times, OK, all the time, those feelings do nothing but compound the problem. Never give up, never accept defeat. This is too important my friend. For both of these individuals, the weight is potentially life threatening, but how do we regain control? I strongly advise writing out what we want out of life. I've mentioned “motivating thoughts” many times before. Write them down and keep them on you or at least somewhere close. Find a big before picture and put it where you see it all the time, or keep it in your pocket or purse. I have two giant three foot by four foot poster size before pictures that stare me down every time I pull into our garage. I wish I could find a magic word that would make it perfectly clear how to shake a slump and turn it around. I certainly don't mean to make it sound easy, we all know it's not, but I hope you'll remember this: I spent the better part of twenty years at or above 500 pounds. My attempts and failures were numerous and painful. I've been there where you are right now. If it's stressful triggers that are trying to steal this from you, I give you this from Day 155: I've learned to identify them and defend against them. “Stressful Triggers” meet “Motivating Thoughts,” now “Motivating Thoughts,” kick “Stressful Triggers” rear end. These mental exercises may sound crazy sometimes, but believe me, they do wonders for my success. Stressful Triggers do not roam alone either, oh no, they have a best friends named “Emotional Blahs.” You know what I'm talking about. Those days when, for whatever reason, we just feel “not with it.” I don't have time to feel “not with it.” Do I still have emotional days where I feel vulnerable? Of course! Don't we all? I just handle them very differently now. I can remember saying “I don't feel like working out,” but I've found if you just go do it, you'll feel incredible in a very short time. By the time you start “feeling like” working out, you're done. When I think back on all the emotional ups and downs along the way so far, from losing loved ones, to re-connecting with my father, to losing a brother I never knew, to speaking for the very first time with another brother I've never known, to the holidays, and right through disappointing weigh day totals where I thought I deserved better results...I have to say, I'm doing this. I'm doing this right here and right now. And there's no settling for anything less than total health and fitness. There isn't a stressful trigger or emotional blah that can break my stride now my friend. Defend against them. You can do it. Don't give up you're dream, don't do it! You know the motions, now get the emotions, and don't let them take this away from you.
I've got a workout to do yet tonight! I'm lacing up and headed for the trail for a power walking 5K in the humid Oklahoma night. And if you think I write things like the previous paragraph exclusively to benefit struggling friends, you would be half right. I write them to remind myself, to strengthen me mentally, and to evaluate my inner workings. You probably already know that the mental part of losing weight successfully is the biggest, and that's an understatement!
Thanks for reading and following along. Irene has agreed that we'll take some “In progress” pics of her this weekend for the blog. Thank you for the wonderful support and words of encouragement! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Day 276 Wonderful Support, New Jeans, and Before Vs. In Progress Pics
Day 276
Wonderful Support, New Jeans, and Before Vs. In Progress Pics
I sincerely appreciate the wonderful comments and e-mails concerning last night's blog posting. After marinating on it for well over 24 hours, I've decided to leave the comments open for anyone to say whatever they feel like saying. As long as I don't start receiving advertising spam, I'll leave it that way. I've also decided to have a sense of humor about it, besides, why should I protect someone from their own ignorance? If they want to post something rude, crude, and unattractive—they're the ones looking like a complete idiot, not me. Joe simply misunderstood my motivation. Richard Simmons doesn't need my praise, and he certainly doesn't have to pay for it. As Ang said “Puleaze.” Further, I never write those words of praise with the expectation of anything. Richard has already given me more than my share of support and inspiration from him. Had he never done that, my words about him would still be the same, he doesn't owe anyone anything! He's just a kind, caring, and extremely generous person. I'm a lucky fellow. By the way...fellow weight loss blogger Ang was featured on Richard Simmons's QVC appearance last night! What a fantastic honor Ang! I was smiling from ear to ear, so happy to see you in those pics! You looked amazing! Ang, your commitment to your journey is awesome and the energy you put into helping us fellow weight loss bloggers is commendable! I better stop there before I upset Joe again! Helen, a new reader, made a good point—if that was the first comment like that I've received, then I'm lucky. So true. Today someone called me a funny fat man, I guess that's number two. I'm smiling by the way. I'm confident enough now to handle it. Just look at the before and in progress side by side shot below!
The other day Irene came home from shopping having spent more than we could afford. I was upset a little, until she pulled out a brand new pair of size 46 Levis 550's from the bag! It was an early Fathers Day gift from her and the girls. I'm not saying it's cool to go over budget as long as the gift is for me, I'm just saying, how could I be upset? They looked awesomely little to me. I needed them horribly and when I tried them on, I fell in love! They fit wonderfully and will for probably another month or so...then we'll be needing 44's! You see, I'm use to buying jeans at the Big and Tall store...Those exact jeans---I mean size wise and everything, cost over sixty bucks at Casual Male XL Big And Tall. Irene paid thirty-five for them at a store not even a mile from our home. How wonderfully delightful! Now I understand charging more for the bigger sizes, hey---more material equals higher cost, but this size is still over sixty at CM XL! I'm thinking seriously about sending an e-mail requesting Casual Male to take me off their mailing list. My days of spending astronomical amounts of money on clothes is over! I can shop where the “normal” people shop! Man, that feels so good to say.
I still wear some things that are way too big for me now. Wearing the bigger stuff doesn't do the dramatic changes in my appearance justice. The “In progress” grilling picture below is me wearing clothes that are actually my current size, and the difference is mind blowing to me. I hardly recognize myself. I have to hand it to Courtney and my Aunt Kelli. Courtney combed through Kelli's family picture archives today and found some absolutely shocking before pictures. You'll find them below. I still can't believe how big I really became. Isn't it amazing how we can convince ourselves that we aren't as big as we really are? I honestly had no clue I looked like that. I knew I was big, but wow...that's really big. I've also posted before and in progress shots of my two daughters, Amber and Courtney. I'll have Irene select some and she'll give me permission to post them soon. Yes, we found some really good ones of Irene too! I always hated pictures, but not anymore. Kudos to my aunt Kelli. She's the family shutterbug. She takes hundreds of pictures a month and has for years. Sometimes it would get tiring, “Kelli, come on, I'm trying to eat here!” But oh how thankful I am to her now for archiving some wonderful memories that also serve as giant reminders of where we were not that long ago.
I grilled lean burgers, only 200 calories each! Plus baked some crinkle cut fries. I learned what is a real serving of fries this evening. The bag says “15 two inch pieces” is 120 calories. So we would count them out. Only one problem, some are a little longer, some shorter. Anyway, I noticed that the 15 fry serving was based on 3 ounces. So I grabbed our trusty little food scale. We were probably consuming closer to 200 calories in our previous portions of baked fries. Tonight we each enjoyed a real serving and it was completely satisfying! You just have to be careful, I highly recommend a good food scale, it really helps for accuracy in calorie counting! I used only one piece of lite sourdough for my burger, only 40 calories worth of bread instead of 110 for a small bun. I just cut it in half for a smaller top and bottom, added some onion and mustard, plus a very thin layer of Miracle Whip, and I was good! Another wonderful dinner under 500 calories.
I look forward to this nightly writing session. I credit this blog with a large portion of my success so far, it means a lot to me. Your thoughts and blogs mean a lot to me too. I feel like I'm in a wonderful club of successful losers, it's a wonderful thing to be a part of. If you still read the identical myspace version of this blog, that's fine, but I would love to have you check out www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com Along the left hand side of the screen you'll see what blogs I follow, and all of them are wonderfully inspiring. I hope you check them out! It's just something you don't get with the Myspace version. I'll still post it there because it's no problem really, but come on over to the “global” version. There are some amazing people and some wonderful things going on around here!
Irene and I beam with pride over our daughters and their wonderful dedication and consistency. They're really turning it up this summer! The joy in their eyes over the amazing success they've enjoyed so far is enough to bring me to happy tears. We couldn't be happier. They're really special kids! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
If these show up in some ridiculous spam "miracle pill" advertising, I'm going to be upset! Pictures Copyright 2009 Sean Anderson--There, that should protect me, right?
Was I really that big? I knew I was big, but this pic really shocked me good today.
Same photo session I think. I don't know, I really liked that shirt! Very revealing before shot! Gigantic and out of control.
Courtney in the middle at her biggest 275 pounds
Courtney In Progress---Over 60 pounds smaller!
Amber at her heaviest 320 pounds
Amber In Progress---Over 50 pounds smaller!
Irene's Before and In Progress shots coming soon!
Wonderful Support, New Jeans, and Before Vs. In Progress Pics
I sincerely appreciate the wonderful comments and e-mails concerning last night's blog posting. After marinating on it for well over 24 hours, I've decided to leave the comments open for anyone to say whatever they feel like saying. As long as I don't start receiving advertising spam, I'll leave it that way. I've also decided to have a sense of humor about it, besides, why should I protect someone from their own ignorance? If they want to post something rude, crude, and unattractive—they're the ones looking like a complete idiot, not me. Joe simply misunderstood my motivation. Richard Simmons doesn't need my praise, and he certainly doesn't have to pay for it. As Ang said “Puleaze.” Further, I never write those words of praise with the expectation of anything. Richard has already given me more than my share of support and inspiration from him. Had he never done that, my words about him would still be the same, he doesn't owe anyone anything! He's just a kind, caring, and extremely generous person. I'm a lucky fellow. By the way...fellow weight loss blogger Ang was featured on Richard Simmons's QVC appearance last night! What a fantastic honor Ang! I was smiling from ear to ear, so happy to see you in those pics! You looked amazing! Ang, your commitment to your journey is awesome and the energy you put into helping us fellow weight loss bloggers is commendable! I better stop there before I upset Joe again! Helen, a new reader, made a good point—if that was the first comment like that I've received, then I'm lucky. So true. Today someone called me a funny fat man, I guess that's number two. I'm smiling by the way. I'm confident enough now to handle it. Just look at the before and in progress side by side shot below!
The other day Irene came home from shopping having spent more than we could afford. I was upset a little, until she pulled out a brand new pair of size 46 Levis 550's from the bag! It was an early Fathers Day gift from her and the girls. I'm not saying it's cool to go over budget as long as the gift is for me, I'm just saying, how could I be upset? They looked awesomely little to me. I needed them horribly and when I tried them on, I fell in love! They fit wonderfully and will for probably another month or so...then we'll be needing 44's! You see, I'm use to buying jeans at the Big and Tall store...Those exact jeans---I mean size wise and everything, cost over sixty bucks at Casual Male XL Big And Tall. Irene paid thirty-five for them at a store not even a mile from our home. How wonderfully delightful! Now I understand charging more for the bigger sizes, hey---more material equals higher cost, but this size is still over sixty at CM XL! I'm thinking seriously about sending an e-mail requesting Casual Male to take me off their mailing list. My days of spending astronomical amounts of money on clothes is over! I can shop where the “normal” people shop! Man, that feels so good to say.
I still wear some things that are way too big for me now. Wearing the bigger stuff doesn't do the dramatic changes in my appearance justice. The “In progress” grilling picture below is me wearing clothes that are actually my current size, and the difference is mind blowing to me. I hardly recognize myself. I have to hand it to Courtney and my Aunt Kelli. Courtney combed through Kelli's family picture archives today and found some absolutely shocking before pictures. You'll find them below. I still can't believe how big I really became. Isn't it amazing how we can convince ourselves that we aren't as big as we really are? I honestly had no clue I looked like that. I knew I was big, but wow...that's really big. I've also posted before and in progress shots of my two daughters, Amber and Courtney. I'll have Irene select some and she'll give me permission to post them soon. Yes, we found some really good ones of Irene too! I always hated pictures, but not anymore. Kudos to my aunt Kelli. She's the family shutterbug. She takes hundreds of pictures a month and has for years. Sometimes it would get tiring, “Kelli, come on, I'm trying to eat here!” But oh how thankful I am to her now for archiving some wonderful memories that also serve as giant reminders of where we were not that long ago.
I grilled lean burgers, only 200 calories each! Plus baked some crinkle cut fries. I learned what is a real serving of fries this evening. The bag says “15 two inch pieces” is 120 calories. So we would count them out. Only one problem, some are a little longer, some shorter. Anyway, I noticed that the 15 fry serving was based on 3 ounces. So I grabbed our trusty little food scale. We were probably consuming closer to 200 calories in our previous portions of baked fries. Tonight we each enjoyed a real serving and it was completely satisfying! You just have to be careful, I highly recommend a good food scale, it really helps for accuracy in calorie counting! I used only one piece of lite sourdough for my burger, only 40 calories worth of bread instead of 110 for a small bun. I just cut it in half for a smaller top and bottom, added some onion and mustard, plus a very thin layer of Miracle Whip, and I was good! Another wonderful dinner under 500 calories.
I look forward to this nightly writing session. I credit this blog with a large portion of my success so far, it means a lot to me. Your thoughts and blogs mean a lot to me too. I feel like I'm in a wonderful club of successful losers, it's a wonderful thing to be a part of. If you still read the identical myspace version of this blog, that's fine, but I would love to have you check out www.losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com Along the left hand side of the screen you'll see what blogs I follow, and all of them are wonderfully inspiring. I hope you check them out! It's just something you don't get with the Myspace version. I'll still post it there because it's no problem really, but come on over to the “global” version. There are some amazing people and some wonderful things going on around here!
Irene and I beam with pride over our daughters and their wonderful dedication and consistency. They're really turning it up this summer! The joy in their eyes over the amazing success they've enjoyed so far is enough to bring me to happy tears. We couldn't be happier. They're really special kids! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
If these show up in some ridiculous spam "miracle pill" advertising, I'm going to be upset! Pictures Copyright 2009 Sean Anderson--There, that should protect me, right?
Was I really that big? I knew I was big, but this pic really shocked me good today.
Same photo session I think. I don't know, I really liked that shirt! Very revealing before shot! Gigantic and out of control.
Courtney in the middle at her biggest 275 pounds
Courtney In Progress---Over 60 pounds smaller!
Amber at her heaviest 320 pounds
Amber In Progress---Over 50 pounds smaller!
Irene's Before and In Progress shots coming soon!
Day 275 The Man Behind The Curtain
Day 275
The Man Behind The Curtain
I often mention this blog address on my morning radio show. In the beginning I was so reluctant to share because I knew it would mean my listeners who didn't know would “discover” that I was huge! I would feel exposed, revealed, and completely vulnerable. I've always been very “real” on my show, but not about my weight or appearance. Of course some listeners, many in fact, have attended remote broadcast over the years, so they knew exactly what I looked like. But for some reason it was hard for me to say “I started at five hundred and five pounds” live, on the air, in a serious tone. I didn't want to reveal the man behind the curtain. I've always been able to hide behind the microphone, allowing a personality free of insecurities about my appearance to flourish. Over the years listeners have told me that I seem different in person, well, that's why! You can't see me when I'm on the air. But at 505 pounds, you were actually getting the real Sean on the radio. That was and still is the real me. If we've never met and you haven't found any pictures, then I look like whatever your imagination wants my voice to look like. And I've discovered that our imaginations are always very kind too. I can't tell you how many people I've met in my twenty year broadcasting career that, upon meeting me face to face, uncontrollably release a look that says wow, you look nothing like I imagined. And I've had some that have just said it out loud, “you look nothing like I pictured!” I understand they were never trying to be hurtful, they were just surprised. I knew that this journey would mean being completely open and honest with not only you, the blog reader, but with the radio listener. After I first revealed my starting weight, I had several listeners call and tell me that they would have never guessed in a million years that I weighed that much. They were very supportive and always kind. As my journey has progressed and the weight has dropped, my on-air personality and my public personality have come together in harmony. What you hear on the air is pretty much what you get in person these days. I now walk with my head held high, sporting a confidence usually reserved only for that studio microphone. It's indisputable evidence that my much slimmer appearance is just one of the changes, I've actually changed in so many more wonderful ways.
Now, I said the listeners of my show were always kind and supportive, however, one of them decided to call me a name while commenting last night's blog. I was a “kiss *ss” according to Joe. Here's the copy and paste version of what Joe had to say: “Your such a kiss *ss to richard simmons. Doas he pay you or somthing! good stuf-what u write-i just dont get the constent mention of how great richard simmons is. are you gonna start weering shorts and tank tops too! i listen to you every morning on klor, joe." Wow, my spell checker is throwing a fit! Sorry for the jab Joe, I couldn't resist, much like you couldn't when you left this comment! Before I respond to this, I already know that my comedy buddy Cruz in LA will be upset with me for even giving this comment the time of day. Cruz was upset with me for devoting almost an entire blog to my imprisoned childhood bullies back on Day 53's “Childhood Bullies and Me.” (That posting comes complete with their actual prison mugshots! I don't know how to do a hyperlink, but you can find it in the November 2008 archive) I understand why Cruz feels that way, I do, but really...I don't mind explaining my admiration and respect for Richard Simmons, so Cruz buddy, relax, I got this...
I first remember watching Richard Simmons with my mother when I was a young child. My mom lost 100 pounds back then and part of her exercise routine involved watching and working out to “The Richard Simmons Show.” That show was unlike any workout show I'd ever watched before or since. Richard was very real, very compassionate, he would talk directly to the camera and let you know that you wasn't alone in your struggles. He sent hope and inspiration through the TV screen with every episode. I may have only been eight or nine, but his sincerity and never ending love for helping people wasn't lost on a little boy named Sean. I got it. Over the years I watched as Richard's career and popularity exploded. And through it all, he's remained the same caring, compassionate, and real person I remember as a child. His success couldn't be helped. You see, I can't imagine that he ever created a weight loss system or series of workout videos for the sole purpose of making money. He developed these products because he knew they would help people with their struggle to be free from obesity. That genuine caring and compassion is exactly why he is where he is today. Can the number of people he's inspired over the last 30 some years even be calculated? I'm positive that it's a tremendous number. So when I say things like “The weight loss industry is a waste of money,” I want to make it very clear that there are some fantastic exceptions to that statement, Richard Simmons is at the top of that list. I know that my attitude and extreme criticism of the weight loss industry will never win me even the smallest of endorsement deals, and that's completely cool, I wouldn't want them anyway, because I've discovered that losing weight isn't about the products you'll find in the “weight loss” section of the store. Losing weight is about honesty, compassion, understanding, and really digging deep to change our life long bad behaviors with food and exercise, and you can't get a price-check on that at your local discount super store.
So there you have it Joe. Another big slobbery wet one for Richard Simmons. But now maybe you'll understand me a little better. Joe, I sincerely appreciate you listening to my show and the kind words you said about my writing. I don't know you personally, but if you're struggling with obesity issues I sincerely hope you'll continue reading my blog. I promise to always give it to you straight with honesty, compassion, hope, and inspiration.
OK, let's move on! Courtney, Amber, and I had a wonderful YMCA workout tonight. I hit the weight room first for a complete upper body training session, then I jumped on a treadmill for a brisk mile before finishing up with a basketball workout. It was very nice.
Dinner tonight was a classic favorite. I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, salad, and corn on the cob. I made the meatloaf with lean ground beef, finely diced onions, one egg, spices, eight saltines, and instead of drowning it in ketchup, I used a can of diced tomatoes. After calculating everything, it still came out a little higher than I wanted at 300 calories per serving, but with a small portion of potatoes at 80, and the mini ear of corn for 90, my plate still came in at under 500 calories.
Thank you so much for reading along on my journey. I better sign off and drop in bed. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Man Behind The Curtain
I often mention this blog address on my morning radio show. In the beginning I was so reluctant to share because I knew it would mean my listeners who didn't know would “discover” that I was huge! I would feel exposed, revealed, and completely vulnerable. I've always been very “real” on my show, but not about my weight or appearance. Of course some listeners, many in fact, have attended remote broadcast over the years, so they knew exactly what I looked like. But for some reason it was hard for me to say “I started at five hundred and five pounds” live, on the air, in a serious tone. I didn't want to reveal the man behind the curtain. I've always been able to hide behind the microphone, allowing a personality free of insecurities about my appearance to flourish. Over the years listeners have told me that I seem different in person, well, that's why! You can't see me when I'm on the air. But at 505 pounds, you were actually getting the real Sean on the radio. That was and still is the real me. If we've never met and you haven't found any pictures, then I look like whatever your imagination wants my voice to look like. And I've discovered that our imaginations are always very kind too. I can't tell you how many people I've met in my twenty year broadcasting career that, upon meeting me face to face, uncontrollably release a look that says wow, you look nothing like I imagined. And I've had some that have just said it out loud, “you look nothing like I pictured!” I understand they were never trying to be hurtful, they were just surprised. I knew that this journey would mean being completely open and honest with not only you, the blog reader, but with the radio listener. After I first revealed my starting weight, I had several listeners call and tell me that they would have never guessed in a million years that I weighed that much. They were very supportive and always kind. As my journey has progressed and the weight has dropped, my on-air personality and my public personality have come together in harmony. What you hear on the air is pretty much what you get in person these days. I now walk with my head held high, sporting a confidence usually reserved only for that studio microphone. It's indisputable evidence that my much slimmer appearance is just one of the changes, I've actually changed in so many more wonderful ways.
Now, I said the listeners of my show were always kind and supportive, however, one of them decided to call me a name while commenting last night's blog. I was a “kiss *ss” according to Joe. Here's the copy and paste version of what Joe had to say: “Your such a kiss *ss to richard simmons. Doas he pay you or somthing! good stuf-what u write-i just dont get the constent mention of how great richard simmons is. are you gonna start weering shorts and tank tops too! i listen to you every morning on klor, joe." Wow, my spell checker is throwing a fit! Sorry for the jab Joe, I couldn't resist, much like you couldn't when you left this comment! Before I respond to this, I already know that my comedy buddy Cruz in LA will be upset with me for even giving this comment the time of day. Cruz was upset with me for devoting almost an entire blog to my imprisoned childhood bullies back on Day 53's “Childhood Bullies and Me.” (That posting comes complete with their actual prison mugshots! I don't know how to do a hyperlink, but you can find it in the November 2008 archive) I understand why Cruz feels that way, I do, but really...I don't mind explaining my admiration and respect for Richard Simmons, so Cruz buddy, relax, I got this...
I first remember watching Richard Simmons with my mother when I was a young child. My mom lost 100 pounds back then and part of her exercise routine involved watching and working out to “The Richard Simmons Show.” That show was unlike any workout show I'd ever watched before or since. Richard was very real, very compassionate, he would talk directly to the camera and let you know that you wasn't alone in your struggles. He sent hope and inspiration through the TV screen with every episode. I may have only been eight or nine, but his sincerity and never ending love for helping people wasn't lost on a little boy named Sean. I got it. Over the years I watched as Richard's career and popularity exploded. And through it all, he's remained the same caring, compassionate, and real person I remember as a child. His success couldn't be helped. You see, I can't imagine that he ever created a weight loss system or series of workout videos for the sole purpose of making money. He developed these products because he knew they would help people with their struggle to be free from obesity. That genuine caring and compassion is exactly why he is where he is today. Can the number of people he's inspired over the last 30 some years even be calculated? I'm positive that it's a tremendous number. So when I say things like “The weight loss industry is a waste of money,” I want to make it very clear that there are some fantastic exceptions to that statement, Richard Simmons is at the top of that list. I know that my attitude and extreme criticism of the weight loss industry will never win me even the smallest of endorsement deals, and that's completely cool, I wouldn't want them anyway, because I've discovered that losing weight isn't about the products you'll find in the “weight loss” section of the store. Losing weight is about honesty, compassion, understanding, and really digging deep to change our life long bad behaviors with food and exercise, and you can't get a price-check on that at your local discount super store.
So there you have it Joe. Another big slobbery wet one for Richard Simmons. But now maybe you'll understand me a little better. Joe, I sincerely appreciate you listening to my show and the kind words you said about my writing. I don't know you personally, but if you're struggling with obesity issues I sincerely hope you'll continue reading my blog. I promise to always give it to you straight with honesty, compassion, hope, and inspiration.
OK, let's move on! Courtney, Amber, and I had a wonderful YMCA workout tonight. I hit the weight room first for a complete upper body training session, then I jumped on a treadmill for a brisk mile before finishing up with a basketball workout. It was very nice.
Dinner tonight was a classic favorite. I made meatloaf, mashed potatoes, salad, and corn on the cob. I made the meatloaf with lean ground beef, finely diced onions, one egg, spices, eight saltines, and instead of drowning it in ketchup, I used a can of diced tomatoes. After calculating everything, it still came out a little higher than I wanted at 300 calories per serving, but with a small portion of potatoes at 80, and the mini ear of corn for 90, my plate still came in at under 500 calories.
Thank you so much for reading along on my journey. I better sign off and drop in bed. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Day 274 The Password Is: Consistency!
Day 274
The Password Is: Consistency!
If I had to pick one word to explain my success so far it would be: Consistency. I was always inconsistent before with every other attempt at weight loss. I would do great two days, then bad for one. Then good for three days and bad for four. Then I would wonder why I wasn't getting results. There was no way I would be honest enough to just admit my inconsistencies. I might even pretend to be dumbfounded to a friend “I have no idea what's happening, I'm doing everything I'm suppose to be doing.” Then I would come up with a few possible reasons “You know I must be retaining fluid,” or “I've been really constipated, I probably just need to go to the bathroom,” or “I'm just cursed with a horrible metabolism.” When I would lie to myself, lying to others was real easy. What made me so inconsistent in the past? Everything. It didn't take much for me to designate something to be a wonderful excuse. I would even postpone starting because if I looked at the calendar long enough, I could find reasons to wait. “Oh, look at that, Kelli's birthday is coming up, then the Fourth of July, then mom's birthday right after that, there's no way I can start trying to lose weight now.” And I wouldn't dare start a weight loss journey anywhere near Thanksgiving or Christmas. “I don't want to ruin the holidays.” I still don't understand how I would convince myself that me eating responsibly could possibly “ruin” the holidays. “Oh, wow...There he goes again. Every holiday it's the same thing...Do you have to ruin every holiday with your responsible eating habits? You're making the rest of us feel gluttonous!” “Somebody hold him down while I pour gravy down his pie hole, we'll teach him to ruin the holidays with his highfalutin eating habits.” How silly I was to come up with so many reasons to NOT do this. I never spent too much time thinking about reasons TO do this. In fact, if I scoured every month of the year, I would find the optimal time for me to lose weight would actually be between February 2nd and February 8th. Not really enough time to get it done. Being consistent on this journey means making this attempt different than any other I've ever tried. Consistency means steamrolling every excuse or rationalization that comes along. When you really decide that nothing will stop you, then nothing can. It sounds simple and it can be if you make it that way. It can also be very difficult if you make it that way. So basically, it will be what you decide it will be. I decided it would be simple. It's as simple as answering this question: Is this thought, emotion, circumstance, holiday, birthday, day off from work, or anything else, is it threatening the structural integrity of my journey? If it's a thought, emotion, or circumstance I just have to remind myself that over eating when I'm dealing with these triggers only compounds my sorrows. And staying on track and focused on doing the right things exercise and food wise will only contribute in a positive way. Actually helping me get to a better place mentally. If it's a holiday, birthday, day off, or any other type of celebration...I enjoy it responsibly. I'll eat cake, I have several times along this journey, I just don't devour four or five pieces like I might have before. I can't count the number of cookouts and family get togethers we've had over the last 274 days, again, a responsible approach---focusing on the people around me and enjoying the atmosphere and not focusing, or in my case obsessing over the food, has worked every time. I still eat, I still enjoy, I'm still happy...even more so because I know I'm being consistent. “But Sean, things happen, we can't expect to be strong all the time.” Really? I've endured deaths in the family, financial woes, the holidays, birthdays, my 20th wedding anniversary, Halloween, Valentines Day, reconnecting with a father and brother I've never known, and many other things that life can throw my way. None of it stopped me for even a day. Why? How? I'm not special, I don't have super human weight loss powers, but I made a decision to stay on track regardless of the circumstances. I knew that was the only way I would ever get this done for real. I voided all excuses or reasons to not do it this time. Have I deprived myself along the way? No, not in the least. I eat three meals and at least three snacks a day. If it's a special occasion, I plan my calorie budget around the events, and eat what everyone else is eating...maybe not as much as some, but I'll enjoy whatever we're having in a responsible way. Consistency is the key. Consistent effort equals consistent results. When somebody tells me that I've lost the weight too fast so far, I wonder if they think I'm starving myself? I'm certainly not! I eat, I exercise, I steamroll excuses and rationalizations to be inconsistent, and I lose weight. Wow, I've really gotten off on a tangent here!
I do need to figure out how to add certain things to my page. I need to add a FAQ to the sidebar. A couple of readers lately have asked what “plan” I'm on. This is normal...we all do it. When we notice someone has lost a considerable amount of weight, the first question is always...How did you do it? If you've read the archives of this journey, you know how I feel and what I've done. I take pride in proving everyday that the weight loss industry is a giant waste of money...most of it is completely useless. (Anything Richard Simmons is a part of is something good and Weight Watchers is good, oh and so is TOPS---Every thing else in my opinion---Rubbish!) I haven't spent a dime to lose this weight. I've actually saved money. It's like getting paid to lose weight! So what plan am I on? I'm on the no nonsense, no excuses, eat less, exercise more, consistent effort equals consistent results, responsible portions, No plan—Plan. My only plan has been to change the way I think and feel about food and exercise while understanding and examining my past eating behaviors and food addictions.
We had a wonderful 5K tonight. All four of us were out there truckin'! What made this one special? It was soooo humid! I mean horribly humid. It made it much more challenging. We were dripping wet by the time we finished. Irene prepared a wonderful meal of lean sirloin, baked potato, and okra. It was so good! My plate registered at 480 calories tonight. And that includes Heinz 57 sauce and sour cream for the potato!
I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read what I've written. This blog has given me a real education about myself along the way. I don't think I would realize even half of what I do now, if not for these nightly writing sessions. It's also been a big part of my success. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Password Is: Consistency!
If I had to pick one word to explain my success so far it would be: Consistency. I was always inconsistent before with every other attempt at weight loss. I would do great two days, then bad for one. Then good for three days and bad for four. Then I would wonder why I wasn't getting results. There was no way I would be honest enough to just admit my inconsistencies. I might even pretend to be dumbfounded to a friend “I have no idea what's happening, I'm doing everything I'm suppose to be doing.” Then I would come up with a few possible reasons “You know I must be retaining fluid,” or “I've been really constipated, I probably just need to go to the bathroom,” or “I'm just cursed with a horrible metabolism.” When I would lie to myself, lying to others was real easy. What made me so inconsistent in the past? Everything. It didn't take much for me to designate something to be a wonderful excuse. I would even postpone starting because if I looked at the calendar long enough, I could find reasons to wait. “Oh, look at that, Kelli's birthday is coming up, then the Fourth of July, then mom's birthday right after that, there's no way I can start trying to lose weight now.” And I wouldn't dare start a weight loss journey anywhere near Thanksgiving or Christmas. “I don't want to ruin the holidays.” I still don't understand how I would convince myself that me eating responsibly could possibly “ruin” the holidays. “Oh, wow...There he goes again. Every holiday it's the same thing...Do you have to ruin every holiday with your responsible eating habits? You're making the rest of us feel gluttonous!” “Somebody hold him down while I pour gravy down his pie hole, we'll teach him to ruin the holidays with his highfalutin eating habits.” How silly I was to come up with so many reasons to NOT do this. I never spent too much time thinking about reasons TO do this. In fact, if I scoured every month of the year, I would find the optimal time for me to lose weight would actually be between February 2nd and February 8th. Not really enough time to get it done. Being consistent on this journey means making this attempt different than any other I've ever tried. Consistency means steamrolling every excuse or rationalization that comes along. When you really decide that nothing will stop you, then nothing can. It sounds simple and it can be if you make it that way. It can also be very difficult if you make it that way. So basically, it will be what you decide it will be. I decided it would be simple. It's as simple as answering this question: Is this thought, emotion, circumstance, holiday, birthday, day off from work, or anything else, is it threatening the structural integrity of my journey? If it's a thought, emotion, or circumstance I just have to remind myself that over eating when I'm dealing with these triggers only compounds my sorrows. And staying on track and focused on doing the right things exercise and food wise will only contribute in a positive way. Actually helping me get to a better place mentally. If it's a holiday, birthday, day off, or any other type of celebration...I enjoy it responsibly. I'll eat cake, I have several times along this journey, I just don't devour four or five pieces like I might have before. I can't count the number of cookouts and family get togethers we've had over the last 274 days, again, a responsible approach---focusing on the people around me and enjoying the atmosphere and not focusing, or in my case obsessing over the food, has worked every time. I still eat, I still enjoy, I'm still happy...even more so because I know I'm being consistent. “But Sean, things happen, we can't expect to be strong all the time.” Really? I've endured deaths in the family, financial woes, the holidays, birthdays, my 20th wedding anniversary, Halloween, Valentines Day, reconnecting with a father and brother I've never known, and many other things that life can throw my way. None of it stopped me for even a day. Why? How? I'm not special, I don't have super human weight loss powers, but I made a decision to stay on track regardless of the circumstances. I knew that was the only way I would ever get this done for real. I voided all excuses or reasons to not do it this time. Have I deprived myself along the way? No, not in the least. I eat three meals and at least three snacks a day. If it's a special occasion, I plan my calorie budget around the events, and eat what everyone else is eating...maybe not as much as some, but I'll enjoy whatever we're having in a responsible way. Consistency is the key. Consistent effort equals consistent results. When somebody tells me that I've lost the weight too fast so far, I wonder if they think I'm starving myself? I'm certainly not! I eat, I exercise, I steamroll excuses and rationalizations to be inconsistent, and I lose weight. Wow, I've really gotten off on a tangent here!
I do need to figure out how to add certain things to my page. I need to add a FAQ to the sidebar. A couple of readers lately have asked what “plan” I'm on. This is normal...we all do it. When we notice someone has lost a considerable amount of weight, the first question is always...How did you do it? If you've read the archives of this journey, you know how I feel and what I've done. I take pride in proving everyday that the weight loss industry is a giant waste of money...most of it is completely useless. (Anything Richard Simmons is a part of is something good and Weight Watchers is good, oh and so is TOPS---Every thing else in my opinion---Rubbish!) I haven't spent a dime to lose this weight. I've actually saved money. It's like getting paid to lose weight! So what plan am I on? I'm on the no nonsense, no excuses, eat less, exercise more, consistent effort equals consistent results, responsible portions, No plan—Plan. My only plan has been to change the way I think and feel about food and exercise while understanding and examining my past eating behaviors and food addictions.
We had a wonderful 5K tonight. All four of us were out there truckin'! What made this one special? It was soooo humid! I mean horribly humid. It made it much more challenging. We were dripping wet by the time we finished. Irene prepared a wonderful meal of lean sirloin, baked potato, and okra. It was so good! My plate registered at 480 calories tonight. And that includes Heinz 57 sauce and sour cream for the potato!
I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read what I've written. This blog has given me a real education about myself along the way. I don't think I would realize even half of what I do now, if not for these nightly writing sessions. It's also been a big part of my success. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Monday, June 15, 2009
Day 273 A Bloody True Story and Facing My Fear of Shorts
Day 273
A Bloody True Story and Facing My Fear of Shorts
It was a really warm day a year ago in June, 2008. We were moving into a new house and we luckily had the help of many friends and family. I was really pushing myself on that day. At over 500 pounds nothing was easy, and moving things was almost too much. My swollen right lower leg was covered with at least a dozen open wounds from the skin stretching too far and breaking. It was painful to say the least, but a pain I had managed with pain killers and over the counter ibuprofen. I knew that the time was coming when I would once again need to take off a week or longer from work to elevate around the clock and have Irene nurse my leg back to health. This was becoming an every six month situation. But on that move day a year ago, I had to get out there and get it done. After unloading several items from the truck I was starting to realize that the pain in my bad leg was getting much worse. I decided to get a drink and take some pills. As I stood in the kitchen of this new place, getting a drink of Coke, I was completely oblivious to the large pool of deep purple blood spilling onto the tile from my leg. When everyone else noticed first, they started to freak out, I didn't. I knew what was happening. I had put too much pressure on it once again. As if over 500 pounds wasn't enough pressure, I had to get really strenuous with the moving adventure. I immediately hobbled back to the bathroom and climbed fully clothed into the shower. The deep sore that was to blame for this bloody situation was hurting intensely and when I pulled my pant leg up, it was clear what was happening. It got deep enough to tap a vein and now it was shooting out with the rhythm of my heart, which by this time was pumping pretty quickly. Irene doesn't do well with blood, especially when it's shooting out “horror movie style” from the one she loves so dearly. Irene helped me stop the bleeding and we wrapped it tight. Our family and friends ordered me to bed and assured me that they would finish the move. The rest of the day and night I must have been told to go to the doctor a hundred times. Why? After all, I knew what needed to be done. I needed time off to elevate and I needed Irene to nurse me back to being sore free like she had done numerous other times. I knew that the long term solution for making the leg better would be losing weight. But how was I going to do that? The damage that my right leg lymphedema had done over the years was horrible, but not as bad as some. I've recently realized that some morbidly obese people have it much, much worse than I ever imagined it could be. I'm blessed, I'm one of the lucky ones in this regard. Still, I never thought that I would ever reveal my leg, wrapped in low stretch bandages or unwrapped, to anyone other than my wife. I just accepted that I would always wear pants regardless of my weight, good or bad. That all changed today.
Until just a few days ago, I didn't even own a pair of casual shorts. I've never worn shorts in public as an adult, ever. A friend of mine that works at the Stillwater station within our broadcast team is also losing weight and he gave me a bunch of clothes that are too big for him now. What a tremendous blessing! In that gift I found two pair of casual shorts. At first I thought I'm never going to wear these, but I at least tried them on. They are size 46 and they fit perfectly! Irene and Courtney convinced me to wear them in public today. I have no idea how they did it. But they did. By the way, my 176 pound loss so far has dramatically improved the condition of my leg. I haven't dealt with the pain of open sores in a very long time, in fact the last time I did I blogged about it early on this journey. My bad right leg isn't so bad anymore. It still gets swollen with lymphatic fluid, but nowhere close to the degree it did before. It never gets so bad that it breaks the skin, not even a little...That's a thing of the past. With proper wrapping and eventually a medically prescribed support that will fit like a big flesh colored sock, my leg will look relatively normal. I never thought that would ever be a possibility.
Keep in mind, I've never worn shorts in public as an adult. It's always been a major hangup of mine, even before my leg started getting bad after a poisonous spider bite back in 1993. I felt too fat to wear shorts period. I didn't care how hot it was, I was wearing jeans, end of discussion! So going out in public today and tonight wearing shorts was a giant breakthrough for me. I felt naked! My legs didn't know what to think! What is that? Air? It's touching me! I constantly reminded myself that I would be OK. We had to take my mom back to Stillwater and I decided to leave jeans or any other type of pants at home. Once we pulled out of the garage, that was it. I was committed 100%. What started out feeling very strange and uncomfortable became liberating and joyful! I really kind of liked it. I'm not saying I'll wear shorts regularly, but every now and then I just might, because today I realized I can.
Courtney and I worked our tails off at the YMCA today. It was an amazing workout that involved an intense racquetball session and a bunch of one on one basketball. We had planned our weekly 10K for tonight, but shortly after our return from Stillwater, I had to suddenly report to work for severe weather coverage. That's cool. We sometimes have circumstances beyond our control that change our workout plans. We'll be OK, besides we did have a wonderful workout earlier today at the YMCA. And we'll have some awesome workouts tomorrow I guarantee!
Instead of posting a separate picture blog, I've included some pictures on this post below. These are the first ever pictures of me wearing shorts as an adult! I also included some before shots to illustrate the dramatic difference this weight loss has made. A couple I think I've posted before.
Thanks for reading and following along with me throughout this wonderful transformation. It's certainly been a fantastic ride so far and like I've said so many times...It just keeps getting better! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
On Vacation in July 2006--I was over 500 and Irene was around 330
We've come a long way baby! Photo taken tonight
Another Before shot---wow.
I'm a lucky man!
Nice
One of the worst side views ever! At over 500 pounds.
Another horrible side view---Me over 500, Irene well over 300! She's going to kill me for posting this one again!
Oh the dreaded side view! Not so dreaded anymore! And getting better everyday!
A Bloody True Story and Facing My Fear of Shorts
It was a really warm day a year ago in June, 2008. We were moving into a new house and we luckily had the help of many friends and family. I was really pushing myself on that day. At over 500 pounds nothing was easy, and moving things was almost too much. My swollen right lower leg was covered with at least a dozen open wounds from the skin stretching too far and breaking. It was painful to say the least, but a pain I had managed with pain killers and over the counter ibuprofen. I knew that the time was coming when I would once again need to take off a week or longer from work to elevate around the clock and have Irene nurse my leg back to health. This was becoming an every six month situation. But on that move day a year ago, I had to get out there and get it done. After unloading several items from the truck I was starting to realize that the pain in my bad leg was getting much worse. I decided to get a drink and take some pills. As I stood in the kitchen of this new place, getting a drink of Coke, I was completely oblivious to the large pool of deep purple blood spilling onto the tile from my leg. When everyone else noticed first, they started to freak out, I didn't. I knew what was happening. I had put too much pressure on it once again. As if over 500 pounds wasn't enough pressure, I had to get really strenuous with the moving adventure. I immediately hobbled back to the bathroom and climbed fully clothed into the shower. The deep sore that was to blame for this bloody situation was hurting intensely and when I pulled my pant leg up, it was clear what was happening. It got deep enough to tap a vein and now it was shooting out with the rhythm of my heart, which by this time was pumping pretty quickly. Irene doesn't do well with blood, especially when it's shooting out “horror movie style” from the one she loves so dearly. Irene helped me stop the bleeding and we wrapped it tight. Our family and friends ordered me to bed and assured me that they would finish the move. The rest of the day and night I must have been told to go to the doctor a hundred times. Why? After all, I knew what needed to be done. I needed time off to elevate and I needed Irene to nurse me back to being sore free like she had done numerous other times. I knew that the long term solution for making the leg better would be losing weight. But how was I going to do that? The damage that my right leg lymphedema had done over the years was horrible, but not as bad as some. I've recently realized that some morbidly obese people have it much, much worse than I ever imagined it could be. I'm blessed, I'm one of the lucky ones in this regard. Still, I never thought that I would ever reveal my leg, wrapped in low stretch bandages or unwrapped, to anyone other than my wife. I just accepted that I would always wear pants regardless of my weight, good or bad. That all changed today.
Until just a few days ago, I didn't even own a pair of casual shorts. I've never worn shorts in public as an adult, ever. A friend of mine that works at the Stillwater station within our broadcast team is also losing weight and he gave me a bunch of clothes that are too big for him now. What a tremendous blessing! In that gift I found two pair of casual shorts. At first I thought I'm never going to wear these, but I at least tried them on. They are size 46 and they fit perfectly! Irene and Courtney convinced me to wear them in public today. I have no idea how they did it. But they did. By the way, my 176 pound loss so far has dramatically improved the condition of my leg. I haven't dealt with the pain of open sores in a very long time, in fact the last time I did I blogged about it early on this journey. My bad right leg isn't so bad anymore. It still gets swollen with lymphatic fluid, but nowhere close to the degree it did before. It never gets so bad that it breaks the skin, not even a little...That's a thing of the past. With proper wrapping and eventually a medically prescribed support that will fit like a big flesh colored sock, my leg will look relatively normal. I never thought that would ever be a possibility.
Keep in mind, I've never worn shorts in public as an adult. It's always been a major hangup of mine, even before my leg started getting bad after a poisonous spider bite back in 1993. I felt too fat to wear shorts period. I didn't care how hot it was, I was wearing jeans, end of discussion! So going out in public today and tonight wearing shorts was a giant breakthrough for me. I felt naked! My legs didn't know what to think! What is that? Air? It's touching me! I constantly reminded myself that I would be OK. We had to take my mom back to Stillwater and I decided to leave jeans or any other type of pants at home. Once we pulled out of the garage, that was it. I was committed 100%. What started out feeling very strange and uncomfortable became liberating and joyful! I really kind of liked it. I'm not saying I'll wear shorts regularly, but every now and then I just might, because today I realized I can.
Courtney and I worked our tails off at the YMCA today. It was an amazing workout that involved an intense racquetball session and a bunch of one on one basketball. We had planned our weekly 10K for tonight, but shortly after our return from Stillwater, I had to suddenly report to work for severe weather coverage. That's cool. We sometimes have circumstances beyond our control that change our workout plans. We'll be OK, besides we did have a wonderful workout earlier today at the YMCA. And we'll have some awesome workouts tomorrow I guarantee!
Instead of posting a separate picture blog, I've included some pictures on this post below. These are the first ever pictures of me wearing shorts as an adult! I also included some before shots to illustrate the dramatic difference this weight loss has made. A couple I think I've posted before.
Thanks for reading and following along with me throughout this wonderful transformation. It's certainly been a fantastic ride so far and like I've said so many times...It just keeps getting better! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
On Vacation in July 2006--I was over 500 and Irene was around 330
We've come a long way baby! Photo taken tonight
Another Before shot---wow.
I'm a lucky man!
Nice
One of the worst side views ever! At over 500 pounds.
Another horrible side view---Me over 500, Irene well over 300! She's going to kill me for posting this one again!
Oh the dreaded side view! Not so dreaded anymore! And getting better everyday!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Day 272 Sean And Mom's Excellent Adventure
Day 272
Sean And Mom's Excellent Adventure
I slept in today. I like sleeping in when I can because I'm the “morning man” during the week. Sometimes it's nice to roll out around noon. I always wake up early anyway, then I have to remind myself that it's OK to turn over and go back to sleep. I prepared omelets for everyone this morning. I had two pans going simultaneously! Each two egg cheese and chicken breast chunk omelet checked in at 230 calories, not bad for a filling brunch.
Courtney and I decided that we would workout at the YMCA today, so we brought mom along for the ride. I was surprised that she agreed to hop on a treadmill, but she did, and she did wonderful! Courtney tackled the elliptical and I claimed my favorite treadmill. I jogged on that thing for three minutes straight! I know that doesn't sound like much, but really, that's big for me. The longest before was one minute. I might turn into a runner someday, who knows? After we thoroughly worked it inside the fitness center, we traveled over into the basketball court for some one on one while grandma cheered us on. It was another wonderful workout that left us dripping wet. We worked hard in there.
I had to broadcast from the speedway this evening. We only “hype” the event before it starts, then we roll out. Once the crowd is packed in, we've done our job! Courtney was back in studio pressing all the buttons and getting dad on the air for every break. I took my mom along for the broadcast too, it was a nice time to visit while I worked. The last time I did a broadcast from the speedway I weighed over 500 pounds. I remember being there one time when a track official took me on a tour of the pits and around the entire track, all on foot! I remember thinking where's our golf cart? I thought I was going to die! Not tonight! I also remember being asked to come up into the tower booth, then my 500 pound body falling on the stairs, spilling my drink all over everyone below. It was so embarrassing! This evening it was a different experience. I made my way around with confidence and ease. That track official from back then, he was there tonight and was amazed by my transformation, he just couldn't believe it...it was wonderful to experience his genuine “wow” reaction. He remembers that guy who could barely walk around the facility, and was so big, he couldn't pick his feet up enough to walk up the stairs. I'm a totally different person these days. I made it up the stairs just fine tonight and I did a couple of breaks from the tower booth overlooking the speedway, it was a wonderful feeling. 176 pounds makes a world of difference for so many things. Another big difference? I didn't take advantage of the “give the radio crew whatever they want from the concessions for free” speedway policy. Oh, I never really took advantage of it before, but I always made sure to get a hamburger, nachos, hotdog, a couple of Cokes, maybe a roasted corn...You know what? Maybe I did take advantage of that in the past. Anyway, this evening I didn't order one thing, nothing, not even an ear of fresh roasted corn! We packed a banana and a Nutri-Grain bar for the evening, plus some bottled water. I don't even think the concession stand people recognized me. I made eye contact with them, but they didn't say a word, they were still looking for the 500 pound plus version of the radio guy to mosey on up to the window. It was so much easier to do that broadcast at 329 pounds.
Courtney had plans tonight to sleep over at a friends house. Irene was gone to work, so mom and I made an evening of it! First, mom treated me to dinner at one of her favorite restaurants around here, JW Cobbs. We dined from the “senior” menu. Smaller price, smaller portions. Normally you have to be 55 years old to do it, but when you tell them you want the smaller portions because you're losing weight, they don't mind at all. We each enjoyed a meal that registered under 500 calories. I ordered the chopped beef with mashed potatoes and kernel corn with gravy on the side. Smaller portions, smaller price, and smaller calories! They brought two big dinner rolls, so we shared one and left the other on the table with the tip. We also left our gravy bowls full of gravy, well, minus a teaspoon from each. It was a great meal, very filling, and easy to calculate!
Since mom treated me to the dinner, I decided to treat her to a movie. I haven't been to a movie in over two years. We usually just wait for the DVD release of whatever we want to see, and I always hated trying to squeeze into the theater seats. We gave it a try tonight and it was the most comfortable seat! I not only fit, I did it without crowding my mom beside me. Irene and I use to go to the movies and leave a seat between us, that seat would be the popcorn and goodies seat, and that way I wouldn't crowd her as I spilled over in squeezed in pain. I wasn't feeling any pain this time, it was easy and very enjoyable. The seat, not the movie. The movie was horrible. I can't believe we wasted two hours on “Land Of The Lost.” I remember the TV show from the seventies, I watched it all the time back then, kind of expected the same thing, but no. I was very disappointed. I don't step foot in a movie theater in over two years, then I do for that? Oh well, we enjoyed our time together regardless of the horrible movie. We stayed away from the popcorn tonight. Movie theater popcorn has the kind of calories that will make you sick. If you don't know already, it will shock you! It's the oil they use I'm pretty sure. A small bag can be loaded with up to 800 calories, that's a small! I can't tell you how many times we bought the large and took advantage of the free refills during the movie. I've said it before in these writings, not all popcorn is created equal. I bet I use to easily consume 2500 calories worth of movie popcorn every visit. I can have a whole bag of the microwave version we use at home for 120. It might not taste the same as at the movies, but it's still good and it doesn't destroy a calorie budget. It was a very nice night indeed.
Courtney and I plan on another 10K tomorrow afternoon. I hope it's cloudy! I know that may sound strange, but I don't want a sunburn. That's horribly selfish of me huh? OK, I guess sunshine is good, maybe if I walk faster it will spare me the frying. Yeah right! Our goal is to always do at least a 10K once a weekend. We don't always hit that goal, but we try our best.
We're attending a cookout tomorrow at my sister in laws house. I'm use to hosting the cookouts, it'll be nice to sit back and let someone else be the grill master! I wonder what choices I'll make at this cookout...you can bet the farm they'll be good, I guarantee it! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Sean And Mom's Excellent Adventure
I slept in today. I like sleeping in when I can because I'm the “morning man” during the week. Sometimes it's nice to roll out around noon. I always wake up early anyway, then I have to remind myself that it's OK to turn over and go back to sleep. I prepared omelets for everyone this morning. I had two pans going simultaneously! Each two egg cheese and chicken breast chunk omelet checked in at 230 calories, not bad for a filling brunch.
Courtney and I decided that we would workout at the YMCA today, so we brought mom along for the ride. I was surprised that she agreed to hop on a treadmill, but she did, and she did wonderful! Courtney tackled the elliptical and I claimed my favorite treadmill. I jogged on that thing for three minutes straight! I know that doesn't sound like much, but really, that's big for me. The longest before was one minute. I might turn into a runner someday, who knows? After we thoroughly worked it inside the fitness center, we traveled over into the basketball court for some one on one while grandma cheered us on. It was another wonderful workout that left us dripping wet. We worked hard in there.
I had to broadcast from the speedway this evening. We only “hype” the event before it starts, then we roll out. Once the crowd is packed in, we've done our job! Courtney was back in studio pressing all the buttons and getting dad on the air for every break. I took my mom along for the broadcast too, it was a nice time to visit while I worked. The last time I did a broadcast from the speedway I weighed over 500 pounds. I remember being there one time when a track official took me on a tour of the pits and around the entire track, all on foot! I remember thinking where's our golf cart? I thought I was going to die! Not tonight! I also remember being asked to come up into the tower booth, then my 500 pound body falling on the stairs, spilling my drink all over everyone below. It was so embarrassing! This evening it was a different experience. I made my way around with confidence and ease. That track official from back then, he was there tonight and was amazed by my transformation, he just couldn't believe it...it was wonderful to experience his genuine “wow” reaction. He remembers that guy who could barely walk around the facility, and was so big, he couldn't pick his feet up enough to walk up the stairs. I'm a totally different person these days. I made it up the stairs just fine tonight and I did a couple of breaks from the tower booth overlooking the speedway, it was a wonderful feeling. 176 pounds makes a world of difference for so many things. Another big difference? I didn't take advantage of the “give the radio crew whatever they want from the concessions for free” speedway policy. Oh, I never really took advantage of it before, but I always made sure to get a hamburger, nachos, hotdog, a couple of Cokes, maybe a roasted corn...You know what? Maybe I did take advantage of that in the past. Anyway, this evening I didn't order one thing, nothing, not even an ear of fresh roasted corn! We packed a banana and a Nutri-Grain bar for the evening, plus some bottled water. I don't even think the concession stand people recognized me. I made eye contact with them, but they didn't say a word, they were still looking for the 500 pound plus version of the radio guy to mosey on up to the window. It was so much easier to do that broadcast at 329 pounds.
Courtney had plans tonight to sleep over at a friends house. Irene was gone to work, so mom and I made an evening of it! First, mom treated me to dinner at one of her favorite restaurants around here, JW Cobbs. We dined from the “senior” menu. Smaller price, smaller portions. Normally you have to be 55 years old to do it, but when you tell them you want the smaller portions because you're losing weight, they don't mind at all. We each enjoyed a meal that registered under 500 calories. I ordered the chopped beef with mashed potatoes and kernel corn with gravy on the side. Smaller portions, smaller price, and smaller calories! They brought two big dinner rolls, so we shared one and left the other on the table with the tip. We also left our gravy bowls full of gravy, well, minus a teaspoon from each. It was a great meal, very filling, and easy to calculate!
Since mom treated me to the dinner, I decided to treat her to a movie. I haven't been to a movie in over two years. We usually just wait for the DVD release of whatever we want to see, and I always hated trying to squeeze into the theater seats. We gave it a try tonight and it was the most comfortable seat! I not only fit, I did it without crowding my mom beside me. Irene and I use to go to the movies and leave a seat between us, that seat would be the popcorn and goodies seat, and that way I wouldn't crowd her as I spilled over in squeezed in pain. I wasn't feeling any pain this time, it was easy and very enjoyable. The seat, not the movie. The movie was horrible. I can't believe we wasted two hours on “Land Of The Lost.” I remember the TV show from the seventies, I watched it all the time back then, kind of expected the same thing, but no. I was very disappointed. I don't step foot in a movie theater in over two years, then I do for that? Oh well, we enjoyed our time together regardless of the horrible movie. We stayed away from the popcorn tonight. Movie theater popcorn has the kind of calories that will make you sick. If you don't know already, it will shock you! It's the oil they use I'm pretty sure. A small bag can be loaded with up to 800 calories, that's a small! I can't tell you how many times we bought the large and took advantage of the free refills during the movie. I've said it before in these writings, not all popcorn is created equal. I bet I use to easily consume 2500 calories worth of movie popcorn every visit. I can have a whole bag of the microwave version we use at home for 120. It might not taste the same as at the movies, but it's still good and it doesn't destroy a calorie budget. It was a very nice night indeed.
Courtney and I plan on another 10K tomorrow afternoon. I hope it's cloudy! I know that may sound strange, but I don't want a sunburn. That's horribly selfish of me huh? OK, I guess sunshine is good, maybe if I walk faster it will spare me the frying. Yeah right! Our goal is to always do at least a 10K once a weekend. We don't always hit that goal, but we try our best.
We're attending a cookout tomorrow at my sister in laws house. I'm use to hosting the cookouts, it'll be nice to sit back and let someone else be the grill master! I wonder what choices I'll make at this cookout...you can bet the farm they'll be good, I guarantee it! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Day 271 About The Future and Sailing Right Along
Day 271
About The Future and Sailing Right Along
A couple of my friends are having a really tough time lately. Their journey's are young and they're doing fantastic, however they're experiencing critical slumps that threaten their success. Remember in the movie Back To The Future when Marty gave Doc a note warning him of the Libyan terrorist? Marty had witnessed what had happened in 1985, and although Doc didn't want to hear about what happens in the future, he eventually read the note. When the Libyan terrorist showed up to kill Doc Brown in 1985, Doc was ready with a bullet proof vest that saved his life. Since I'm on Day 271 on this journey, I sometimes feel like Marty McFly when I warn of the pitfalls that can hit hard along this road. I understand the feeling of it all being over. I don't have enough fingers to count the number of my weight loss attempts that seemed so promising before crumbling to pieces along the way. Every now and then a certain mood can hit that really shakes us. Every now and then circumstances become too difficult and the added stress takes us down. Every now and then, for no apparent reason at all, we feel controlled by some kind of evil force that makes us want to binge regardless of how on track we've been. Those feelings and those circumstances, the stressful triggers and completely unexplained feelings of hopelessness can still roll up in their VW Bus even after 271 successful days. You have to put on your bullet proof vest. I'm warning you of these future situations, I've been there, I know what happens. If you don't protect yourself from the “weight loss terrorist” your weight loss journey will die. Put on the vest! You have to defend your journey with everything you can muster. You have to make one of the most solid decisions you've ever made. You have to decide that there isn't a circumstance, a person, place, or thing, or food and drink that can shake you. Once I decided that I would defend my success with everything I am, it made it so much easier to identify the potentially journey ending situations, circumstances, and emotions that always laid me out before. Life is always full of ups and downs. I knew that if I was waiting for a year or two free of weight loss pitfalls, so I could finally do it, I would never be successful. Don't let these 'downs' steal this away from you. You've worked way too hard to have it all stop now. Fight for yourself, you're worth it! Don't throw it all away over a slump. Slumps are temporary. Put on the bullet proof vest and survive the assault, then you'll be lifted by the 'ups' that come frequently and often in the nick of time along this wonderful road. You've got to believe you can. You can ya know. Seriously, I know I can, and do you realize how hopelessly lost I was for nearly two decades at 500 pounds plus? I know you can do it too.
I made a trip down to Stillwater tonight to pick up my mom and bring her back to our house for the weekend. Before heading over to get her, I met up with our friends Rachel and Neal at Taco Mayo. We had a nice visit over a taco. A crispy beef taco is 161 at Mayo, so to keep my snack at 150 or less, I ordered my taco minus cheese. I'll admit, that's a little too strict, 161 calories wouldn't have been bad at all. But I'm like that sometimes. Anyway, the visit was brief but very nice. Afterwards I made my way to my grandmothers house to pick up my mom for a weekend in Ponca City.
We talked about stopping at The Paradise Ballroom on the way back to see a concert but it just would have put us up way too late. We still had a workout to accomplish and a blog to write, not a good night for a concert. I almost made an exception considering the artist...It was Christopher Cross. I still can't believe that he was ten minutes from my house performing hit songs that have inspired me immensely along this journey, and I didn't go. “Sailing” is one of my all time favorites. The following is a blog excerpt from Day 148 about that song: As I walked tonight I listened to a couple of songs that you wouldn't really consider “workout songs.” There are no rhythmic beats to Christopher Cross's “Sailing,” but that song has always been special to me. It stirs my emotions with it's lyrics of hope and freedom. I heard Christopher Cross once say that “Sailing,” was literally about sailing, but to me I interpret it metaphorically and apply it to my journey. “Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see, believe me. Sailing, takes me away to where I've always heard it could be, just a dream and the wind to carry me, soon I will be free.” I hope to see him live one day, tonight just wasn't a good night for a concert, we had things to do!
We hit the trail tonight with mom! Courtney and I did a 5K and mom did an entire mile. I felt bad leaving her behind on the dark trail, but I explained to her that when we go to the trail, we're not there to visit, we're there to get the best workout we possibly can. And that means going at your own pace, not somebody else's for the sake of talking along the way. We can talk later! She completely understood this attitude and assured me that she would be OK. She did fantastic! I'm so proud of her progress and success. She told me that everything is starting to get easier because of her steady progress. I can't tell you, I just can't express properly how much this means to me to watch her experience the fruits of her consistent effort.
Thank you for reading! I'm headed to sleepy town now. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Not your typical “workout” song—but it really inspires me!
About The Future and Sailing Right Along
A couple of my friends are having a really tough time lately. Their journey's are young and they're doing fantastic, however they're experiencing critical slumps that threaten their success. Remember in the movie Back To The Future when Marty gave Doc a note warning him of the Libyan terrorist? Marty had witnessed what had happened in 1985, and although Doc didn't want to hear about what happens in the future, he eventually read the note. When the Libyan terrorist showed up to kill Doc Brown in 1985, Doc was ready with a bullet proof vest that saved his life. Since I'm on Day 271 on this journey, I sometimes feel like Marty McFly when I warn of the pitfalls that can hit hard along this road. I understand the feeling of it all being over. I don't have enough fingers to count the number of my weight loss attempts that seemed so promising before crumbling to pieces along the way. Every now and then a certain mood can hit that really shakes us. Every now and then circumstances become too difficult and the added stress takes us down. Every now and then, for no apparent reason at all, we feel controlled by some kind of evil force that makes us want to binge regardless of how on track we've been. Those feelings and those circumstances, the stressful triggers and completely unexplained feelings of hopelessness can still roll up in their VW Bus even after 271 successful days. You have to put on your bullet proof vest. I'm warning you of these future situations, I've been there, I know what happens. If you don't protect yourself from the “weight loss terrorist” your weight loss journey will die. Put on the vest! You have to defend your journey with everything you can muster. You have to make one of the most solid decisions you've ever made. You have to decide that there isn't a circumstance, a person, place, or thing, or food and drink that can shake you. Once I decided that I would defend my success with everything I am, it made it so much easier to identify the potentially journey ending situations, circumstances, and emotions that always laid me out before. Life is always full of ups and downs. I knew that if I was waiting for a year or two free of weight loss pitfalls, so I could finally do it, I would never be successful. Don't let these 'downs' steal this away from you. You've worked way too hard to have it all stop now. Fight for yourself, you're worth it! Don't throw it all away over a slump. Slumps are temporary. Put on the bullet proof vest and survive the assault, then you'll be lifted by the 'ups' that come frequently and often in the nick of time along this wonderful road. You've got to believe you can. You can ya know. Seriously, I know I can, and do you realize how hopelessly lost I was for nearly two decades at 500 pounds plus? I know you can do it too.
I made a trip down to Stillwater tonight to pick up my mom and bring her back to our house for the weekend. Before heading over to get her, I met up with our friends Rachel and Neal at Taco Mayo. We had a nice visit over a taco. A crispy beef taco is 161 at Mayo, so to keep my snack at 150 or less, I ordered my taco minus cheese. I'll admit, that's a little too strict, 161 calories wouldn't have been bad at all. But I'm like that sometimes. Anyway, the visit was brief but very nice. Afterwards I made my way to my grandmothers house to pick up my mom for a weekend in Ponca City.
We talked about stopping at The Paradise Ballroom on the way back to see a concert but it just would have put us up way too late. We still had a workout to accomplish and a blog to write, not a good night for a concert. I almost made an exception considering the artist...It was Christopher Cross. I still can't believe that he was ten minutes from my house performing hit songs that have inspired me immensely along this journey, and I didn't go. “Sailing” is one of my all time favorites. The following is a blog excerpt from Day 148 about that song: As I walked tonight I listened to a couple of songs that you wouldn't really consider “workout songs.” There are no rhythmic beats to Christopher Cross's “Sailing,” but that song has always been special to me. It stirs my emotions with it's lyrics of hope and freedom. I heard Christopher Cross once say that “Sailing,” was literally about sailing, but to me I interpret it metaphorically and apply it to my journey. “Oh, the canvas can do miracles, just you wait and see, believe me. Sailing, takes me away to where I've always heard it could be, just a dream and the wind to carry me, soon I will be free.” I hope to see him live one day, tonight just wasn't a good night for a concert, we had things to do!
We hit the trail tonight with mom! Courtney and I did a 5K and mom did an entire mile. I felt bad leaving her behind on the dark trail, but I explained to her that when we go to the trail, we're not there to visit, we're there to get the best workout we possibly can. And that means going at your own pace, not somebody else's for the sake of talking along the way. We can talk later! She completely understood this attitude and assured me that she would be OK. She did fantastic! I'm so proud of her progress and success. She told me that everything is starting to get easier because of her steady progress. I can't tell you, I just can't express properly how much this means to me to watch her experience the fruits of her consistent effort.
Thank you for reading! I'm headed to sleepy town now. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Not your typical “workout” song—but it really inspires me!
Friday, June 12, 2009
Day 270 The Value In Failing and The Transformation of The Beast
Day 270
The Value In Failing and The Transformation of The Beast
I never really understood how important my past failed attempts would become. I don't even know if I should call them failed attempts, because they've contributed so much to my success along the way. Those failed attempts are vital to my success. I could never appreciate that value before because I was too busy making excuses or rationalizations to make myself feel better about them. 270 days ago I stopped placing blame for my food addiction on anything or anyone else. When I decided to become 100% responsible for my journey, letting go of every excuse or rationalization, and became completely honest with myself about my horrible food behaviors, that's when “it”clicked. When I stopped being able to blame everything else for my struggles, I suddenly had a clearer vision of what I needed to do and how I would do it. The weight had been lifted, my eyes had been opened, and I was on my way. There's no future in the past, but there are lessons to be learned from experiences we would rather forget. We have arrived at where we are because of the road we've traveled. Salvage the useful information and discard the rest. Then get ready to excel!
I've always had issues with my appearance. I secretly cried big man baby tears after watching Disney's Beauty and The Beast. I've always felt like the Beast. Irene's unconditional love for me regardless of my appearance is why I connected with that animated movie. Irene is my beauty and I'm her beast. It's been a lifetime of feeling ugly, hideous, unsightly, grotesque, and just like a big old freak. I'm not any of those things, never have been, but that's how I've felt. To slowly transform into something I half-way like seeing in the mirror is an amazing feeling. To no longer feel like the beast is one of my many motivating thoughts. I'm no longer trapped inside that 500 pound body, I'm making a transformation that will breakthrough with me mentally. Soon it will not be “half-way,” I'll love what I see in the mirror completely. This change is magical and well worth the effort and consistency I demand of myself everyday.
I grilled some bone-in chicken breast on the grill tonight and they came out amazing! Accompanied with some green beans and a serving of cheddar sour cream mashed potatoes, the entire meal came in at under 350 calories! Under 350! What's the difference between this meal and a similar meal we devoured in the distant past? Well, before I would have either fried or oven fried those breast. I would have prepared probably four times the amount of potatoes, then I would have made a cream gravy to pour on the potatoes, plus I would have poured some more gravy over a couple of pieces of bread, because I love gravy! After dinner I would have had a giant bowl of ice cream or a couple, maybe three bowls of cereal. It's really amazing how different our dinner table has become. The portions are smaller, many of the bad choices are absent, but still...everybody is satisfied completely.
The YMCA workout tonight was incredible. I jogged on the treadmill. That's not a misprint. I actually jogged. It was a nice slow jog, nothing too fancy or overly demanding. I enjoyed it immensely. After my time on the treadmill, Courtney and I made our way into the basketball court for some more one on one. I'm really surprised at what a great workout basketball can be. Our arms are really sore from the passing drills we completed. Pass a basketball back and forth as fast as you can and soon your arms start letting you know about it! We worked up a great sweat. It was Courtney's second trip to the YMCA today. She worked out earlier at the Y with Amber. As we were leaving the basketball gymnasium, we ran into Mark, you know, “that guy,” I've written about before. I actually was on the treadmill right beside his wife upstairs, but I didn't realize he was downstairs lifting weights. Mark has been a fantastic friend to me. He's designed a weight training program for me and even gave me a book detailing everything I need to know about the subject. He's been very patient with me as I've yet to fully commit to a consistent routine in the weight room. It is truly one of the most important things I must do and Mark and his wife made me feel great tonight complimenting my weight loss success and suggesting we do some weight training together. You know I'll be taking him up on that for sure! He also shared with me that a co-worker of his is a regular reader of this blog and has lost 9 pounds so far along his journey. He didn't give me the name, but you know who you are, and congratulations! You can do this, keep up the great work and get ready to experience the wonderful rewards! Amber is traveling tonight with her boyfriend to his parents house in Thomas, fifteen minutes from her college campus. They're staying the weekend there and Amber is looking forward to the pool at the Weatherford YMCA. I'm so jealous! Ponca City will soon have a YMCA pool again, in fact it will be the most amazing fitness facility this town has ever experienced. They're building it now. Don't quote me on this, but I think it's on track for a fall 2010 opening. I can't wait to use that place! By the time it opens I'll have been at my goal weight for some time, but I plan on developing my body even further in that new place. Can't wait!
I was asked today how many pounds Courtney, Amber, and Irene has lost and how much all together we've lost. It's been a little while since we ran the numbers. Courtney has lost right at 60 pounds, Amber has lost 52, Irene has lost 116, and my 176. Total: 404 lbs! By the time we all reach our goal weight that number will be almost 700 pounds. That's astounding. Irene has lost her weight over the course of the last couple of years, Amber has lost since the beginning of school last year, and Courtney started when I did last September. The whole experience has been wonderful! We're all seeing and feeling the difference, an amazing difference that just keeps getting better. The love and support I receive from my girls is an amazing gift I cherish. They clearly appreciate my love and support too along this road.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I read several weight loss blogs everyday and I have to say, we're all building quiet an amazing weight loss blog circle. I'm honored to be in such good company. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Value In Failing and The Transformation of The Beast
I never really understood how important my past failed attempts would become. I don't even know if I should call them failed attempts, because they've contributed so much to my success along the way. Those failed attempts are vital to my success. I could never appreciate that value before because I was too busy making excuses or rationalizations to make myself feel better about them. 270 days ago I stopped placing blame for my food addiction on anything or anyone else. When I decided to become 100% responsible for my journey, letting go of every excuse or rationalization, and became completely honest with myself about my horrible food behaviors, that's when “it”clicked. When I stopped being able to blame everything else for my struggles, I suddenly had a clearer vision of what I needed to do and how I would do it. The weight had been lifted, my eyes had been opened, and I was on my way. There's no future in the past, but there are lessons to be learned from experiences we would rather forget. We have arrived at where we are because of the road we've traveled. Salvage the useful information and discard the rest. Then get ready to excel!
I've always had issues with my appearance. I secretly cried big man baby tears after watching Disney's Beauty and The Beast. I've always felt like the Beast. Irene's unconditional love for me regardless of my appearance is why I connected with that animated movie. Irene is my beauty and I'm her beast. It's been a lifetime of feeling ugly, hideous, unsightly, grotesque, and just like a big old freak. I'm not any of those things, never have been, but that's how I've felt. To slowly transform into something I half-way like seeing in the mirror is an amazing feeling. To no longer feel like the beast is one of my many motivating thoughts. I'm no longer trapped inside that 500 pound body, I'm making a transformation that will breakthrough with me mentally. Soon it will not be “half-way,” I'll love what I see in the mirror completely. This change is magical and well worth the effort and consistency I demand of myself everyday.
I grilled some bone-in chicken breast on the grill tonight and they came out amazing! Accompanied with some green beans and a serving of cheddar sour cream mashed potatoes, the entire meal came in at under 350 calories! Under 350! What's the difference between this meal and a similar meal we devoured in the distant past? Well, before I would have either fried or oven fried those breast. I would have prepared probably four times the amount of potatoes, then I would have made a cream gravy to pour on the potatoes, plus I would have poured some more gravy over a couple of pieces of bread, because I love gravy! After dinner I would have had a giant bowl of ice cream or a couple, maybe three bowls of cereal. It's really amazing how different our dinner table has become. The portions are smaller, many of the bad choices are absent, but still...everybody is satisfied completely.
The YMCA workout tonight was incredible. I jogged on the treadmill. That's not a misprint. I actually jogged. It was a nice slow jog, nothing too fancy or overly demanding. I enjoyed it immensely. After my time on the treadmill, Courtney and I made our way into the basketball court for some more one on one. I'm really surprised at what a great workout basketball can be. Our arms are really sore from the passing drills we completed. Pass a basketball back and forth as fast as you can and soon your arms start letting you know about it! We worked up a great sweat. It was Courtney's second trip to the YMCA today. She worked out earlier at the Y with Amber. As we were leaving the basketball gymnasium, we ran into Mark, you know, “that guy,” I've written about before. I actually was on the treadmill right beside his wife upstairs, but I didn't realize he was downstairs lifting weights. Mark has been a fantastic friend to me. He's designed a weight training program for me and even gave me a book detailing everything I need to know about the subject. He's been very patient with me as I've yet to fully commit to a consistent routine in the weight room. It is truly one of the most important things I must do and Mark and his wife made me feel great tonight complimenting my weight loss success and suggesting we do some weight training together. You know I'll be taking him up on that for sure! He also shared with me that a co-worker of his is a regular reader of this blog and has lost 9 pounds so far along his journey. He didn't give me the name, but you know who you are, and congratulations! You can do this, keep up the great work and get ready to experience the wonderful rewards! Amber is traveling tonight with her boyfriend to his parents house in Thomas, fifteen minutes from her college campus. They're staying the weekend there and Amber is looking forward to the pool at the Weatherford YMCA. I'm so jealous! Ponca City will soon have a YMCA pool again, in fact it will be the most amazing fitness facility this town has ever experienced. They're building it now. Don't quote me on this, but I think it's on track for a fall 2010 opening. I can't wait to use that place! By the time it opens I'll have been at my goal weight for some time, but I plan on developing my body even further in that new place. Can't wait!
I was asked today how many pounds Courtney, Amber, and Irene has lost and how much all together we've lost. It's been a little while since we ran the numbers. Courtney has lost right at 60 pounds, Amber has lost 52, Irene has lost 116, and my 176. Total: 404 lbs! By the time we all reach our goal weight that number will be almost 700 pounds. That's astounding. Irene has lost her weight over the course of the last couple of years, Amber has lost since the beginning of school last year, and Courtney started when I did last September. The whole experience has been wonderful! We're all seeing and feeling the difference, an amazing difference that just keeps getting better. The love and support I receive from my girls is an amazing gift I cherish. They clearly appreciate my love and support too along this road.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I read several weight loss blogs everyday and I have to say, we're all building quiet an amazing weight loss blog circle. I'm honored to be in such good company. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
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