Day 456
Not Suppose To Happen and Making Organization A Priority
I woke up energized and refreshed this morning. I was ready to take on a Monday like never before. I prepared a low calorie-very filling four egg white omelet with mushrooms, poured some coffee, and contemplated my week. I don't know when the case of the blues kicked in, but at some point it did. What? This isn't suppose to happen to me! I'm positive all the time, I laugh in the face of the blues! But really, sometimes I don't when I should. These changes I've written about, it's so true, I'm handling them well---but maybe not as well as I thought. The entire situation isn't what I dreamed of, but seriously, is anything ever exactly like we dreamed? The fact that here we are at Christmas really highlights the changes in a dramatic fashion. It's when I'm feeling this way that I must remind myself of all the wonderful blessings in my life. I must realize all of the wonderful blessings ahead, and calmly and gracefully make it through the storms.
I always thought that losing the weight once and for all would magically fix everything. It most certainly doesn't. What started out as a wonderful dream for a total family transformation has turned into two households divided by the lost and founds of love and change. The dramatic weight loss, as much as I want to say it hasn't made a difference in our personal situation, it has...a big difference. The rational feet-on-the-ground---positive but realistic side of me says that the good far outweighs the bad. And that's right. And so I'll wrap up this little pitty party and give thanks for the many blessings in my life. Perfection has never been the goal here, so when things don't go perfect---why should I act so surprised?
I had an appointment today with Anson Williams to play racquetball. Pottsie's schedule changed and we ended up cancelling the match for today. I decided to hit the fitness room hard tonight and did. I made it twenty minutes on that elliptical. Twenty muscle burning minutes! I was proud of my determination. I then jumped over on the treadmill and did two miles. I still didn't jog on the fitness room treadmill. I haven't because I'm afraid the noise might disturb the neighbors surrounding the room. I really need to start going before it gets too late.
It was a good workout and a good food day. I even enjoyed some fried catfish for dinner! I love catfish, I do...enough to even try it grilled the next chance I get! My biggest challenge with catfish is resisting the tarter sauce. I use a little, but nothing like I use to consume. I never really cared before this journey, but now that I do---wow, tarter sauce is loaded (65 calories for two tablespoons)! Not as bad as mayo, but not far behind. Fried catfish, surprisingly is not that bad. A breaded and fried catfish filet checks in at 199 calories. I had one and a half filets, or 300 calories worth of fish. Sure, there are better calorie values---but when I want fish--I can live with these numbers!
One of my immediate goals is to become more organized. Organized in my thoughts, my actions, my plans, my goals---just nicely organized. I may even start using a day planner. JV, my old radio boss just laughed from his grave. Seriously JV, I'm going to get a dayplanner and start using it! So there! Laugh all you want my friend. I've been lucky to have had as much success without being completely organized, imagine what I could do with a little organization!
Thank you for reading my friend. I sincerely appreciate your support along this road. It's been a life changing journey so far, I knew it would be---I'm not sure I realized how much, but all together...all things considered, it's awesome. And that's not just me trying to be positive. It really is awesome how far we've traveled in such a short time. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Day 455 It Sure Is Sunday and Planning To Succeed
Day 455
It Sure Is Sunday and Planning To Succeed
Day 455 turned out to be a day of relaxation. Translation: I was lazy today. I had planned so many wonderful accomplishments today and just didn't seem motivated to get them done. I wanted a day where I didn't have to do anything I guess, and I took it. I'm not knocking on myself, I'm just saying—I'm completely rested and ready for a wonderful week! There's that positive spin!
I stayed up late last night hooking up the television and trying to motivate myself to organize and put away more boxes of stuff. I'm also trying to figure out how to arrange the furniture to fit this living room, a living room about half the size of our previous. We've had cable on since we moved in, but we hadn't yet hooked up a TV, I'm telling you---we just don't watch much TV these days. We really got out of the habit as this journey started and progressed. It was a very natural thing and it's not like we miss it or anything. Two of my biggest pre-journey habits: watching TV and playing poker on the internet were easily and naturally replaced with working out and writing. I started wondering about you last night. What habits in your life have naturally moved aside for better choices? I'm not talking about things you meant to change, I'm talking about the changes that just naturally occur and then one day you realize, wow—I don't do that anymore, nice.
I prepared lunch for Courtney and me before Courtney had to run to work. I bought a package of super lean hamburger patties and some crinkle cut fries. The burgers are so lean, you have to spray the pan with non-stick cooking spray or they will stick. They cost a little more, but are nearly half the calories of the full fatty versions, and with mustard and veggies—or whatever you top them with---you can't tell the difference, at least I can't. Instead of cooking an entire two pound bag of fries, which is something I would have done 456 days ago, I measured out two 150 calorie servings, and into the oven they went! Our entire lunch, bun and all---checked in at just under 500 calories. And considering it was a 'brunch,' we were actually behind calories for the time of day.
I say “behind calories” because I'm usually at a certain point calorie wise by certain times throughout the day. By mid-morning, I'm usually somewhere between three and four hundred calories, by mid afternoon I hit between seven and eight hundred on a typical day. I usually have between five and seven hundred calories remaining by dinner time, and after dinner---typically a couple hundred—maybe a little less. This is a normal kind of calorie day for me. It keeps me eating throughout the day. When I tell people that I'm hardly ever hungry, they sometimes find that hard to believe, but seriously...I'm hardly ever hungry. The only exception is a little hunger sometimes when I first get up of a morning.
Irene dropped in this evening and helped Courtney with some homework. She couldn't believe we still had some things in boxes after more than a week here, but hey---we're busy...and sometimes a little lazy. It's not like we're getting the place ready for company. Then Irene reminded me that Amber and KL will be in on Thursday for Christmas break. Oh yeah! I can't wait! But I don't consider my oldest daughter “company,” she's part of the family—our home is her home wherever “home” is located. Maybe she can assist in organizing and decorating! I bet she'd be excited to do just that!
I'm looking forward to a very productive week. I plan on playing racquetball at least three times this week and weight training at least four times. A night will not pass this week without a workout in the fitness room downstairs. I mean really, it's right outside our front door, hard to make an excuse to miss a workout huh? That's a good thing.
Thank you for reading! If you missed reading Day 454, it's right below here. It was a fun Saturday that included a really cool trip to Wal-Mart. Today was, well, it was what it was...a lazy Sunday. Here's to an amazing week ahead filled with good choices! (I'm raising my coffee cup) Again, thank you for your support. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
It Sure Is Sunday and Planning To Succeed
Day 455 turned out to be a day of relaxation. Translation: I was lazy today. I had planned so many wonderful accomplishments today and just didn't seem motivated to get them done. I wanted a day where I didn't have to do anything I guess, and I took it. I'm not knocking on myself, I'm just saying—I'm completely rested and ready for a wonderful week! There's that positive spin!
I stayed up late last night hooking up the television and trying to motivate myself to organize and put away more boxes of stuff. I'm also trying to figure out how to arrange the furniture to fit this living room, a living room about half the size of our previous. We've had cable on since we moved in, but we hadn't yet hooked up a TV, I'm telling you---we just don't watch much TV these days. We really got out of the habit as this journey started and progressed. It was a very natural thing and it's not like we miss it or anything. Two of my biggest pre-journey habits: watching TV and playing poker on the internet were easily and naturally replaced with working out and writing. I started wondering about you last night. What habits in your life have naturally moved aside for better choices? I'm not talking about things you meant to change, I'm talking about the changes that just naturally occur and then one day you realize, wow—I don't do that anymore, nice.
I prepared lunch for Courtney and me before Courtney had to run to work. I bought a package of super lean hamburger patties and some crinkle cut fries. The burgers are so lean, you have to spray the pan with non-stick cooking spray or they will stick. They cost a little more, but are nearly half the calories of the full fatty versions, and with mustard and veggies—or whatever you top them with---you can't tell the difference, at least I can't. Instead of cooking an entire two pound bag of fries, which is something I would have done 456 days ago, I measured out two 150 calorie servings, and into the oven they went! Our entire lunch, bun and all---checked in at just under 500 calories. And considering it was a 'brunch,' we were actually behind calories for the time of day.
I say “behind calories” because I'm usually at a certain point calorie wise by certain times throughout the day. By mid-morning, I'm usually somewhere between three and four hundred calories, by mid afternoon I hit between seven and eight hundred on a typical day. I usually have between five and seven hundred calories remaining by dinner time, and after dinner---typically a couple hundred—maybe a little less. This is a normal kind of calorie day for me. It keeps me eating throughout the day. When I tell people that I'm hardly ever hungry, they sometimes find that hard to believe, but seriously...I'm hardly ever hungry. The only exception is a little hunger sometimes when I first get up of a morning.
Irene dropped in this evening and helped Courtney with some homework. She couldn't believe we still had some things in boxes after more than a week here, but hey---we're busy...and sometimes a little lazy. It's not like we're getting the place ready for company. Then Irene reminded me that Amber and KL will be in on Thursday for Christmas break. Oh yeah! I can't wait! But I don't consider my oldest daughter “company,” she's part of the family—our home is her home wherever “home” is located. Maybe she can assist in organizing and decorating! I bet she'd be excited to do just that!
I'm looking forward to a very productive week. I plan on playing racquetball at least three times this week and weight training at least four times. A night will not pass this week without a workout in the fitness room downstairs. I mean really, it's right outside our front door, hard to make an excuse to miss a workout huh? That's a good thing.
Thank you for reading! If you missed reading Day 454, it's right below here. It was a fun Saturday that included a really cool trip to Wal-Mart. Today was, well, it was what it was...a lazy Sunday. Here's to an amazing week ahead filled with good choices! (I'm raising my coffee cup) Again, thank you for your support. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Day 454 Irony of The Pitchman and "I Told You It Was Him!" A Very Cool "Wow" Reaction
Day 454
Irony of The Pitchman and “I Told You It Was Him!” A Very Cool “Wow” Reaction
My Saturday started early for a change. I had an 11am broadcast at a local Hallmark store, so I was up early enough to cook a good breakfast before heading out. Part of my job today was communicating with the listener all of the details concerning the selection of Godiva chocolates and the hand dipped truffles for which this store is known. I almost spent 100 calories on a truffle, almost, yeah...I just couldn't pull the trigger on that choice. Chocolate is good, don't get me wrong, and truffles are even better, but 100 calories in that little bite, no---I just couldn't. It's choices my friend. I chose to sample that amazing cheesecake the other day, I'm not sure if I would have had I realized how loaded it was. I knew it was loaded, but not 200 calories loaded, you know? I was OK with accepting 150 calories for the cheesecake indulgence, but when I discovered it was actually 200---uh, it was too late. Oh well. It was good. It was very easy to say no to the truffle. I value my calorie budget too much, and that's good. But really, the only reason I didn't “invest” the 100 calories in that truffle is because I'm not a chocoholic. I like chocolate, but I don't need chocolate. Cheesecake on the other hand, oh my...yeah, I occasionally need cheesecake. I think I'll stick with the lower quality, slightly more calorie friendly cheesecake in the future. 200 calories for a tiny little triangle was just ridiculously indulgent.
It's sometimes an awkward irony to have a job where I occasionally have to speak about how wonderful a food is, and how people should buy and eat it. It's what I do. And it works because I am all about “nothing is off limits,” even truffles, cheesecake, chocolate lava crunch cakes, steaks, pizza, pasta, and a number of other things I've had to speak about on the radio. Anything is permissible with proper portion control. However, I also understand how it must sound to some listeners who know of my weight loss success. “Is that Sean telling us how we should order a 16 ounce ribeye or huge chicken fried steak?” Yeah, that's me, but it's my job. And those things are good. But if I order one, you can bet I'm feeding three or four people! Wow, and to think, I use to salivate at the thought of eating an entire 16 ounce ribeye. Now, I'd go with a petite sirloin, and probably still split it with someone. You know 4 ounces is a normal serving---and surprisingly satisfying!
During the broadcast today, the sales rep for Team Radio brought the two of us a large thin crust pacific veggie pizza. She had a piece and left the rest of this big pizza for me. I enjoyed a piece, then picked the mushrooms and olives off of another piece. I love mushrooms and olives. I'm still trying to accept spinach on pizza, I don't know about that just yet. I guess it's OK, but I'll be honest, I picked the spinach off my piece. As the broadcast neared the end, I was scanning around for a trash can to toss the rest of the pizza. I hate to be wasteful, I do, but what am I going to do with this thing? I didn't want anymore of it and the sales rep didn't want anymore. Just then I noticed a homeless man walking through the parking lot. I pulled up alongside and asked if he liked pizza. He did, and his eyes got big when I handed him the box. I hoped it made his day. It sure made me feel good to give it to him.
I had a grocery trip to make tonight. You never know what kind of Wal-Mart trip it's going to be. Will I get in and get out fast? Or will I run into a bunch of people and spend a majority of the time visiting? Tonight the latter was true, and I enjoyed it immensely. Right when I walked in the doors I heard someone say “Hey skinny!” I turned and found the director of the YMCA. He remembers me at 505 very well. He's thrilled with my success and I know he's happy that using the YMCA facility has played a major role in that success. We talked about the new YMCA that's being built on the west end of town, how wonderful it will be when it's finished, and he offered to take me out to the construction site this coming week and show me around. I'm looking forward to that!
One of the non-food items I needed was a remote control. I made my way over to electronics and started looking. There was two women standing in my way in front of the remote selection, but I wasn't in a hurry, no big deal. They noticed, apologized, I smiled and said “no problem,” and they walked away. I noticed that they both turned and looked back at me, and were talking. Huh, well, I hope it's good I thought. I continued looking for a remote and just a minute later they came back, right up to me. “Are you Sean Anderson?” one asked. “Uh, yeah, I'm Sean,” then one said, “I told you that was him!” They proceeded to indulge me in a bunch of compliments on my appearance. You see, the one that was so convinced that it was me---she attended the “Lose To Win” weight loss seminar kick-off back in February. She remembers my talk that night. (by the way---you can watch that nearly 40 minute seminar talk on Day 169-Bonus Video Blog in the archives—it's edited down into four youtube segments) I had lost 119 pounds at that point, and now we're almost double that number. The other one hadn't laid eyes on me since I was over 500 pounds, probably at a remote broadcast or something radio related, so she wasn't expecting this. I thanked them for the 'wide eyed-big smile' compliments and they were on their way. Wow, that felt good. Isn't that neat? I use to dream about losing enough weight to “freak people out,” and here we are spreading the “freak!” I just have to smile, always. This journey can be so fun.
On the way out of the store I ran into Chris and Stephanie Williams. Chris was the director, and Stephanie the producer of “Call Me Henry,” you remember---the play where I realized my dream of acting in a leading role. They had a role for me to play for one night only on February 13th, 2010. Since my calendar doesn't stretch that far yet, I said absolutely yes. It's a one night deal. I can do that, no problem! It was good to see the two of them again. Chris and I plan on eventually getting together and writing a stage play based on the inspirational life of my brother Shane. He was a special young man and deserves a special production in his honor. He's going to get it! I look forward to starting that project soon, probably after the first of the year.
Another wonderful day along this road is in the books. I received a comment from a brand new reader on my Day 1 post. Ms. X writes: I just came across your blog, I can see this will be a very inspiring blog for me! I love your writing style, your sense of humor, and your honesty. I've only read part of your most recent post at this time, and day 1...I can see I have the equivalent of a book to read to catch up. Your first post sounds very much like me, I am at the beginning of my journey. I'm so glad to see someone that has been so successful that started out where I am now!
And that my friend is one of the reasons this blog is so important to me. It's important because this “book” I've created here proves that it can be done, even for someone like me, hopelessly and morbidly obese for so long. It can be done, without any special programs or pills or any kind of surgery or other weight loss aid. It can be done. And there's many of my weight loss blogging friends that have proven the very same thing. It's a wonderful thing!
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Irony of The Pitchman and “I Told You It Was Him!” A Very Cool “Wow” Reaction
My Saturday started early for a change. I had an 11am broadcast at a local Hallmark store, so I was up early enough to cook a good breakfast before heading out. Part of my job today was communicating with the listener all of the details concerning the selection of Godiva chocolates and the hand dipped truffles for which this store is known. I almost spent 100 calories on a truffle, almost, yeah...I just couldn't pull the trigger on that choice. Chocolate is good, don't get me wrong, and truffles are even better, but 100 calories in that little bite, no---I just couldn't. It's choices my friend. I chose to sample that amazing cheesecake the other day, I'm not sure if I would have had I realized how loaded it was. I knew it was loaded, but not 200 calories loaded, you know? I was OK with accepting 150 calories for the cheesecake indulgence, but when I discovered it was actually 200---uh, it was too late. Oh well. It was good. It was very easy to say no to the truffle. I value my calorie budget too much, and that's good. But really, the only reason I didn't “invest” the 100 calories in that truffle is because I'm not a chocoholic. I like chocolate, but I don't need chocolate. Cheesecake on the other hand, oh my...yeah, I occasionally need cheesecake. I think I'll stick with the lower quality, slightly more calorie friendly cheesecake in the future. 200 calories for a tiny little triangle was just ridiculously indulgent.
It's sometimes an awkward irony to have a job where I occasionally have to speak about how wonderful a food is, and how people should buy and eat it. It's what I do. And it works because I am all about “nothing is off limits,” even truffles, cheesecake, chocolate lava crunch cakes, steaks, pizza, pasta, and a number of other things I've had to speak about on the radio. Anything is permissible with proper portion control. However, I also understand how it must sound to some listeners who know of my weight loss success. “Is that Sean telling us how we should order a 16 ounce ribeye or huge chicken fried steak?” Yeah, that's me, but it's my job. And those things are good. But if I order one, you can bet I'm feeding three or four people! Wow, and to think, I use to salivate at the thought of eating an entire 16 ounce ribeye. Now, I'd go with a petite sirloin, and probably still split it with someone. You know 4 ounces is a normal serving---and surprisingly satisfying!
During the broadcast today, the sales rep for Team Radio brought the two of us a large thin crust pacific veggie pizza. She had a piece and left the rest of this big pizza for me. I enjoyed a piece, then picked the mushrooms and olives off of another piece. I love mushrooms and olives. I'm still trying to accept spinach on pizza, I don't know about that just yet. I guess it's OK, but I'll be honest, I picked the spinach off my piece. As the broadcast neared the end, I was scanning around for a trash can to toss the rest of the pizza. I hate to be wasteful, I do, but what am I going to do with this thing? I didn't want anymore of it and the sales rep didn't want anymore. Just then I noticed a homeless man walking through the parking lot. I pulled up alongside and asked if he liked pizza. He did, and his eyes got big when I handed him the box. I hoped it made his day. It sure made me feel good to give it to him.
I had a grocery trip to make tonight. You never know what kind of Wal-Mart trip it's going to be. Will I get in and get out fast? Or will I run into a bunch of people and spend a majority of the time visiting? Tonight the latter was true, and I enjoyed it immensely. Right when I walked in the doors I heard someone say “Hey skinny!” I turned and found the director of the YMCA. He remembers me at 505 very well. He's thrilled with my success and I know he's happy that using the YMCA facility has played a major role in that success. We talked about the new YMCA that's being built on the west end of town, how wonderful it will be when it's finished, and he offered to take me out to the construction site this coming week and show me around. I'm looking forward to that!
One of the non-food items I needed was a remote control. I made my way over to electronics and started looking. There was two women standing in my way in front of the remote selection, but I wasn't in a hurry, no big deal. They noticed, apologized, I smiled and said “no problem,” and they walked away. I noticed that they both turned and looked back at me, and were talking. Huh, well, I hope it's good I thought. I continued looking for a remote and just a minute later they came back, right up to me. “Are you Sean Anderson?” one asked. “Uh, yeah, I'm Sean,” then one said, “I told you that was him!” They proceeded to indulge me in a bunch of compliments on my appearance. You see, the one that was so convinced that it was me---she attended the “Lose To Win” weight loss seminar kick-off back in February. She remembers my talk that night. (by the way---you can watch that nearly 40 minute seminar talk on Day 169-Bonus Video Blog in the archives—it's edited down into four youtube segments) I had lost 119 pounds at that point, and now we're almost double that number. The other one hadn't laid eyes on me since I was over 500 pounds, probably at a remote broadcast or something radio related, so she wasn't expecting this. I thanked them for the 'wide eyed-big smile' compliments and they were on their way. Wow, that felt good. Isn't that neat? I use to dream about losing enough weight to “freak people out,” and here we are spreading the “freak!” I just have to smile, always. This journey can be so fun.
On the way out of the store I ran into Chris and Stephanie Williams. Chris was the director, and Stephanie the producer of “Call Me Henry,” you remember---the play where I realized my dream of acting in a leading role. They had a role for me to play for one night only on February 13th, 2010. Since my calendar doesn't stretch that far yet, I said absolutely yes. It's a one night deal. I can do that, no problem! It was good to see the two of them again. Chris and I plan on eventually getting together and writing a stage play based on the inspirational life of my brother Shane. He was a special young man and deserves a special production in his honor. He's going to get it! I look forward to starting that project soon, probably after the first of the year.
Another wonderful day along this road is in the books. I received a comment from a brand new reader on my Day 1 post. Ms. X writes: I just came across your blog, I can see this will be a very inspiring blog for me! I love your writing style, your sense of humor, and your honesty. I've only read part of your most recent post at this time, and day 1...I can see I have the equivalent of a book to read to catch up. Your first post sounds very much like me, I am at the beginning of my journey. I'm so glad to see someone that has been so successful that started out where I am now!
And that my friend is one of the reasons this blog is so important to me. It's important because this “book” I've created here proves that it can be done, even for someone like me, hopelessly and morbidly obese for so long. It can be done, without any special programs or pills or any kind of surgery or other weight loss aid. It can be done. And there's many of my weight loss blogging friends that have proven the very same thing. It's a wonderful thing!
Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Day 453 Without Action It's Just A Wish and Calorie Dense Cheesecake
Day 453
Without Action It's Just A Wish and Calorie Dense Cheesecake
I'm starting to get my thoughts a little more organized lately. It's so important to stop every now and then and assess where we are, where we want to go, and how we plan on getting there. I've always flew by the seat of my pants and somehow I've made it this far in life, but now my hopes and dreams are becoming clear and my goals really require a plan of action. Part of these goals is this last 45 pounds to 230. Really, that's the easiest part of my hopes and dreams.
I've always been a dreamer. But dreams without action is just a wish. It's like all those years I dreamed of losing this weight and what it might be like, but I never did the 'action' part until now. I can't count the number of times I uttered “I wish I could lose this weight.” Well, I've pulled it together pretty well, put some action behind the dream, and here we are 45 pounds from goal. What has it taught me? I've learned now that anything is possible. If we can dream it and simplify it to the point that it's a very clear path to understand and navigate, and we add the 'action,' then we can do it. Anything we choose.
'Tis the season for unexpected holiday treats. I learned that some of the best cheesecake in the world was delivered to the Team Radio home office recently. Everyone was invited down to sample the incredible cheesecake, and yes I decided to include myself in this little indulgence. These were little mini-cheesecakes, each about 5 inches in diameter. I took the white chocolate nut variety and cut that little thing into six very small triangles. I didn't see a calorie count anywhere in site, so I decided I would have to make an honest guesstimate. I decided, even though it was just a tiny triangle piece, that I would count it as 150 calories. But the more I tasted this heavenly creation in tiny little enjoyable nibbles, the more I started thinking 150 was too low. It was out of this world good. I asked Anson if he still had the original box and he said yes, in his office. What I found on that nutrition label was shocking! That little miniature cheesecake was a whopping 1250 calories. Divide that by six tiny triangles and you get: 208 calories. Wow, really? 208 calories for what amounted to a few bites or five or six nibbles? That's worse than pecan pie! After I exposed the calorie count nobody wanted anymore and we tossed that amazing desert in the trash.
I am not the calorie police, but often times people start explaining to me their calorie counts or habits, especially if they're in the middle of consuming those calories. It is so not necessary! I do not judge! Trust me, the old Sean---oh my, I don't even want to talk about that right now. We all have our own choices to make and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about them. They're our choices. We're the only one that can make them good or bad, and occasionally a little indulgent. ;)
I worked out late last night. I actually completed a full twenty minutes on that blasted elliptical! I agree with several readers, it'll get easier if I just stay consistent. I then climbed up on the treadmill and started a nice brisk walk. I didn't jog at all, and I'll tell you why. I was afraid of making too much noise! Apartments surround the workout room and it was really late...I guess I need to start going a little earlier!
I have a broadcast to do tomorrow from 11am to 2pm at a shopping center, a Hallmark store. And as soon as Saturday night rolls around, I plan on getting this apartment further along in being completely put away and stocked with everything we need. Thanks for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Without Action It's Just A Wish and Calorie Dense Cheesecake
I'm starting to get my thoughts a little more organized lately. It's so important to stop every now and then and assess where we are, where we want to go, and how we plan on getting there. I've always flew by the seat of my pants and somehow I've made it this far in life, but now my hopes and dreams are becoming clear and my goals really require a plan of action. Part of these goals is this last 45 pounds to 230. Really, that's the easiest part of my hopes and dreams.
I've always been a dreamer. But dreams without action is just a wish. It's like all those years I dreamed of losing this weight and what it might be like, but I never did the 'action' part until now. I can't count the number of times I uttered “I wish I could lose this weight.” Well, I've pulled it together pretty well, put some action behind the dream, and here we are 45 pounds from goal. What has it taught me? I've learned now that anything is possible. If we can dream it and simplify it to the point that it's a very clear path to understand and navigate, and we add the 'action,' then we can do it. Anything we choose.
'Tis the season for unexpected holiday treats. I learned that some of the best cheesecake in the world was delivered to the Team Radio home office recently. Everyone was invited down to sample the incredible cheesecake, and yes I decided to include myself in this little indulgence. These were little mini-cheesecakes, each about 5 inches in diameter. I took the white chocolate nut variety and cut that little thing into six very small triangles. I didn't see a calorie count anywhere in site, so I decided I would have to make an honest guesstimate. I decided, even though it was just a tiny triangle piece, that I would count it as 150 calories. But the more I tasted this heavenly creation in tiny little enjoyable nibbles, the more I started thinking 150 was too low. It was out of this world good. I asked Anson if he still had the original box and he said yes, in his office. What I found on that nutrition label was shocking! That little miniature cheesecake was a whopping 1250 calories. Divide that by six tiny triangles and you get: 208 calories. Wow, really? 208 calories for what amounted to a few bites or five or six nibbles? That's worse than pecan pie! After I exposed the calorie count nobody wanted anymore and we tossed that amazing desert in the trash.
I am not the calorie police, but often times people start explaining to me their calorie counts or habits, especially if they're in the middle of consuming those calories. It is so not necessary! I do not judge! Trust me, the old Sean---oh my, I don't even want to talk about that right now. We all have our own choices to make and it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about them. They're our choices. We're the only one that can make them good or bad, and occasionally a little indulgent. ;)
I worked out late last night. I actually completed a full twenty minutes on that blasted elliptical! I agree with several readers, it'll get easier if I just stay consistent. I then climbed up on the treadmill and started a nice brisk walk. I didn't jog at all, and I'll tell you why. I was afraid of making too much noise! Apartments surround the workout room and it was really late...I guess I need to start going a little earlier!
I have a broadcast to do tomorrow from 11am to 2pm at a shopping center, a Hallmark store. And as soon as Saturday night rolls around, I plan on getting this apartment further along in being completely put away and stocked with everything we need. Thanks for reading. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Day 452 The Slow Self-Image Changes and The Familiar Look I Love
Day 452
The Slow Self-Image Changes and The Familiar Look I Love
Thank you for all the wonderful support and congratulations for my three pound triumph on the scale yesterday. I was very pleased. In the beginning, people would say “Sean, it's going to slow down eventually, just know that.” And I would say “whatever!” Well, they were right and I was wrong! It does slow down and that's OK. I've finally accepted that losing weight where I am now is drastically different than losing weight where I started. It wasn't that long ago that even a five pound loss in two weeks would upset me horribly, remember Day185? Here's an excerpt from 99 pounds ago: Weigh day can be fun. Like when I crossed under 400. If you had witnessed that moment you would have thought I just won the Super Bowl. A couple of weigh days ago when I pounded out 13 pounds, and in doing so set a new personal weight loss record of 119 pounds, that was a big celebratory weigh-in complete with whooping and hollering and generally acting a fool. Today wasn’t like that. First of all, I’ve finally convinced myself that I don’t necessarily have to weigh at The Payne County Health Department. I didn’t have a choice at 505 pounds, but now that I’m well under 400 I have scale choices for the first time in my adult life. Irene helped me decide to save the trip to Stillwater, since we were there Tuesday evening, and weigh here in Ponca City today. I started out by weighing at the doctors office, then I weighed on two different scales at the Ponca City Medical Center “Lose To Win” Headquarters. All three scales agreed that I weighed 374. I wanted more, I mean less, you know what I mean. I didn’t want to take 374 as an answer. 5 pounds? What?? Are you serious? I’m a stickler on my calorie allotment. When the daily calorie withdrawal is spent, it’s spent. I’m exercising everyday. I’m making all the right moves and this is how I’m rewarded?
Wow, what a spoiled little baby! This journey is full of learning. If I'm not continuously open to learning and accepting the truth, then how can I develop as a person and a weight loss warrior? The truth is: It does slow down. It does take more effort when you have less to lose. It's simple math and science really. My education of me about me continues in grand fashion!
I've written quite a bit lately about changes. If you're a regular reader of this blog you already know about all of the many changes we're experiencing in the Anderson household, or uh...households. One of the changes, the self-image changes, was addressed recently in an e-mail from a regular reader. This reader has also lost a considerable amount of weight and is dealing with many of the same issues I've written about lately. This reader will remain anonymous as I share the exchange. Reader: I still have days where I am scared to try new things because I don't want people to LOOK at me. Isn't that pathetic? I am working on it everyday. I am trying to be confident in my new slimmer body but somedays its hard. I feel like I will always be the person that was circus person fat. I wonder when that will change. My new challenge has been shopping at stores other then Lane Bryant and The Avenue. I am now in a size 14 jeans and I just can't imagine shopping at "normal " stores. I was wondering if you had any advice as to how to "get over" the insecurities of being really overweight for most of your adult life? I know thats a tough question but I was just wondering.
My reply: I'm kind of where you are. I'm still very insecure. I think it will just take time to realize. When I shop for jeans, I still hold up the new jeans and my brain says "no way, they're not going to fit." But then I try them on and they fit. It just takes time. I still feel like the fat guy in public. It's something that I think will take a serious effort and maybe some therapy to overcome. After being morbidly obese, or as you put it "circus person fat," (I love that description by the way) for our entire lives---to just all of a sudden discard all of the emotions and problems we created mentally and physically---is really asking a lot. It might sound conceited---but I try to look at myself more. In the mirror or window reflection---the more I look, the more I'm growing accustomed to looking drastically different. Because my brain still thinks I'm huge, ya know? Isn't the brain a strange thing?? When will it change? When we become accustomed to our new self. When being smaller and healthier becomes the norm. When it's no longer a new thing---That's when it will become natural. Right now it feels unnatural because being huge is all we've ever known... Someday, even though we'll never forget---Being thin and healthy will be what we know, it will become the norm---it will be us.
Courtney and I found a perfect excuse for eating out tonight. Most of our kitchen items are still packed in boxes. I know, we could have unpacked them---I think I even said at one time that the kitchen stuff would be the first unpacked, but we've been very busy people! Anyway, we discovered KFC's latest Kentucky Grilled offer: 395 calorie meal for $3.95. That sounded great, healthy, and so easy. Besides, Courtney needed help with homework tonight, so the convenience was appreciated. We enjoyed dinner together while we worked through her really tough assignment.
The 395 calorie meal comes with a grilled thigh and drumstick plus mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans. We saved even more calories. How? We asked for a white meat breast instead of the thigh and drumstick. All of a sudden that 395 calorie meal became 345 calories. Want to save a little more? If you can live without the gravy you can subtract another 30 calories for a total meal count of 315. We enjoyed the gravy. Gravy is good every now and then, don't you think? I noticed that KFC has revised the calorie counts for the grilled chicken. They originally listed a drumstick as 70, now it's 80. A breast was 170 or 180 if I remember right, now it's listed as 190. And the thigh that was 140 is now listed at 160. Still great values if you ask me, especially when you compare to the fried side of that place. After dinner and homework, Courtney, in appreciation of my help, offered to treat me to a small Braum's frozen yogurt twist on a cake cone. It checks in at less than 200 calories and it's the perfect creamy lower calorie desert treat!
Courtney is busy studying for a test as I write. I'm about to change into my workout gear, ok---uh, my workout pants, and hit the fitness room downstairs. We're loving this new apartment, especially the fitness room!
Oh, I almost forgot to share something really cool. I stopped into the apartment community office when I arrived home this afternoon. Brian is the man in charge and he was visiting with Roxanne, a longtime listener and frequent winner of prizes on my radio show. I've known Roxanne for almost a decade and she never fails to strike up a conversation when we run into one another in public. Except today. I walked into the office as Brian and Roxanne were finishing up their conversation. Roxanne looked directly at me and didn't acknowledge me at all. As she turned to open the door and leave I said “So, you're not even going to say hi?” She had that familiar look of shock and amazement (I love that look from people), and replied “I just don't hardly recognize you anymore.” It made my afternoon, it really did.
Thank you for reading and all of your wonderful support along this road. I'm so thrilled to be writing a post on the night of the day I'm writing. This day behind stuff was getting old! I'm sure we'll still have weekend days that get posted the next day, but usually it will be posted at night or very early the next morning. If you missed it, just scroll down for Day 451. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
The Slow Self-Image Changes and The Familiar Look I Love
Thank you for all the wonderful support and congratulations for my three pound triumph on the scale yesterday. I was very pleased. In the beginning, people would say “Sean, it's going to slow down eventually, just know that.” And I would say “whatever!” Well, they were right and I was wrong! It does slow down and that's OK. I've finally accepted that losing weight where I am now is drastically different than losing weight where I started. It wasn't that long ago that even a five pound loss in two weeks would upset me horribly, remember Day185? Here's an excerpt from 99 pounds ago: Weigh day can be fun. Like when I crossed under 400. If you had witnessed that moment you would have thought I just won the Super Bowl. A couple of weigh days ago when I pounded out 13 pounds, and in doing so set a new personal weight loss record of 119 pounds, that was a big celebratory weigh-in complete with whooping and hollering and generally acting a fool. Today wasn’t like that. First of all, I’ve finally convinced myself that I don’t necessarily have to weigh at The Payne County Health Department. I didn’t have a choice at 505 pounds, but now that I’m well under 400 I have scale choices for the first time in my adult life. Irene helped me decide to save the trip to Stillwater, since we were there Tuesday evening, and weigh here in Ponca City today. I started out by weighing at the doctors office, then I weighed on two different scales at the Ponca City Medical Center “Lose To Win” Headquarters. All three scales agreed that I weighed 374. I wanted more, I mean less, you know what I mean. I didn’t want to take 374 as an answer. 5 pounds? What?? Are you serious? I’m a stickler on my calorie allotment. When the daily calorie withdrawal is spent, it’s spent. I’m exercising everyday. I’m making all the right moves and this is how I’m rewarded?
Wow, what a spoiled little baby! This journey is full of learning. If I'm not continuously open to learning and accepting the truth, then how can I develop as a person and a weight loss warrior? The truth is: It does slow down. It does take more effort when you have less to lose. It's simple math and science really. My education of me about me continues in grand fashion!
I've written quite a bit lately about changes. If you're a regular reader of this blog you already know about all of the many changes we're experiencing in the Anderson household, or uh...households. One of the changes, the self-image changes, was addressed recently in an e-mail from a regular reader. This reader has also lost a considerable amount of weight and is dealing with many of the same issues I've written about lately. This reader will remain anonymous as I share the exchange. Reader: I still have days where I am scared to try new things because I don't want people to LOOK at me. Isn't that pathetic? I am working on it everyday. I am trying to be confident in my new slimmer body but somedays its hard. I feel like I will always be the person that was circus person fat. I wonder when that will change. My new challenge has been shopping at stores other then Lane Bryant and The Avenue. I am now in a size 14 jeans and I just can't imagine shopping at "normal " stores. I was wondering if you had any advice as to how to "get over" the insecurities of being really overweight for most of your adult life? I know thats a tough question but I was just wondering.
My reply: I'm kind of where you are. I'm still very insecure. I think it will just take time to realize. When I shop for jeans, I still hold up the new jeans and my brain says "no way, they're not going to fit." But then I try them on and they fit. It just takes time. I still feel like the fat guy in public. It's something that I think will take a serious effort and maybe some therapy to overcome. After being morbidly obese, or as you put it "circus person fat," (I love that description by the way) for our entire lives---to just all of a sudden discard all of the emotions and problems we created mentally and physically---is really asking a lot. It might sound conceited---but I try to look at myself more. In the mirror or window reflection---the more I look, the more I'm growing accustomed to looking drastically different. Because my brain still thinks I'm huge, ya know? Isn't the brain a strange thing?? When will it change? When we become accustomed to our new self. When being smaller and healthier becomes the norm. When it's no longer a new thing---That's when it will become natural. Right now it feels unnatural because being huge is all we've ever known... Someday, even though we'll never forget---Being thin and healthy will be what we know, it will become the norm---it will be us.
Courtney and I found a perfect excuse for eating out tonight. Most of our kitchen items are still packed in boxes. I know, we could have unpacked them---I think I even said at one time that the kitchen stuff would be the first unpacked, but we've been very busy people! Anyway, we discovered KFC's latest Kentucky Grilled offer: 395 calorie meal for $3.95. That sounded great, healthy, and so easy. Besides, Courtney needed help with homework tonight, so the convenience was appreciated. We enjoyed dinner together while we worked through her really tough assignment.
The 395 calorie meal comes with a grilled thigh and drumstick plus mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans. We saved even more calories. How? We asked for a white meat breast instead of the thigh and drumstick. All of a sudden that 395 calorie meal became 345 calories. Want to save a little more? If you can live without the gravy you can subtract another 30 calories for a total meal count of 315. We enjoyed the gravy. Gravy is good every now and then, don't you think? I noticed that KFC has revised the calorie counts for the grilled chicken. They originally listed a drumstick as 70, now it's 80. A breast was 170 or 180 if I remember right, now it's listed as 190. And the thigh that was 140 is now listed at 160. Still great values if you ask me, especially when you compare to the fried side of that place. After dinner and homework, Courtney, in appreciation of my help, offered to treat me to a small Braum's frozen yogurt twist on a cake cone. It checks in at less than 200 calories and it's the perfect creamy lower calorie desert treat!
Courtney is busy studying for a test as I write. I'm about to change into my workout gear, ok---uh, my workout pants, and hit the fitness room downstairs. We're loving this new apartment, especially the fitness room!
Oh, I almost forgot to share something really cool. I stopped into the apartment community office when I arrived home this afternoon. Brian is the man in charge and he was visiting with Roxanne, a longtime listener and frequent winner of prizes on my radio show. I've known Roxanne for almost a decade and she never fails to strike up a conversation when we run into one another in public. Except today. I walked into the office as Brian and Roxanne were finishing up their conversation. Roxanne looked directly at me and didn't acknowledge me at all. As she turned to open the door and leave I said “So, you're not even going to say hi?” She had that familiar look of shock and amazement (I love that look from people), and replied “I just don't hardly recognize you anymore.” It made my afternoon, it really did.
Thank you for reading and all of your wonderful support along this road. I'm so thrilled to be writing a post on the night of the day I'm writing. This day behind stuff was getting old! I'm sure we'll still have weekend days that get posted the next day, but usually it will be posted at night or very early the next morning. If you missed it, just scroll down for Day 451. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Day 451 No Plateau: Weigh-Day Success!
Day 451
No Plateau: Weigh-Day Success!
It's kind of funny, I woke up on time two mornings in a row without the alarm clock, then I find the alarm clock and oversleep. It's the snooze bar, totally evil that thing. I can't resist making the noise go away for nine more minutes by simply pressing the snooze bar, it's too easy. And I've concluded that you automatically fall into a deeper sleep once you hit the snooze bar. I wake up as soon as the initial alarm sounds, but after hitting the snooze and it goes off again, I'll keep right on sleeping while it blares KPNC all over the place. I need to start banning the snooze, my new neighbors might not appreciate the noise at 4am! Often times it goes off to me voicing a commercial--it's like waking myself up. I haven't had neighbors on the other side of a wall from me in many years. I must remember them. I met one the other day, very nice man--knew me from the radio, I look forward to meeting more.
I was in a hurry yes, but I wasn't sacrificing breakfast, Oh no! I can make a mess of scrambled egg whites in less than 5 minutes. I did, and it was good! I grabbed a banana and an apple and I was off to the races! I do get use to certain things, almost dependent on certain routines or foods. Early on this journey it was Wendy's small Chili for lunch, at least a few times a week. I got sick of it fast! Now it's egg whites with veggies and low-fat part-skim mozzarella. I'm not tired of that yet, but really--I'll get there. Maybe I'll get hooked on steel cut oats again. I'm such a creature of habit, aren't we all? The importance of breakfast has always been super high. It is a must every morning period. The metabolism needs fuel to wake up and start working---breakfast fills that need. Even when we oversleep.
Today was weigh day. I really wanted to weigh much earlier in the day, but couldn't make it until late afternoon. It's a very busy time of year around here, so late afternoon had to work. I walked into a very busy doctors office full of sick people. I walked in with a smile and confident stride, right past the receptionist desk---they're use to this routine---and straight back to where the nurses, doctors, and patient rooms are located. I greet everyone with a smile and they're always happy to see me. They all remember me at my heaviest. They remember the Sean that would come in barely able to breathe, or the Sean that would come in with multiple leg wounds from out of control leg swelling, or the Sean that threw his back out at over 500 pounds and needed two people to help me move around, or the Sean that came in on several occasions with stroke level blood pressure...yeah, they like seeing me now. And I love seeing them every two weeks. Their smiles and kind words really inspire me.
We all know what happened last weigh day. The scale stayed the same at 278. Today it moved. Thank goodness! Three more pounds gone forever! The scale was friendly, giving me 275...oh how relieved. No plateau---just a nice slow loss. We're getting there by golly. Just 45 more pounds until goal. Like I've said before, 230 was just a number that sounded nice to me on Day 1, we'll get there and see how it feels. Who knows where we'll end up when we're at an optimal weight. A couple of big things will factor into that number: Weight training and excess skin removal. Who knows? It doesn't matter at this point, it's business as usual getting to where we're headed.
Tonight I braved the cold for fifteen seconds and walked next door into the fitness room! Oh, I'm gonna love this! It's seriously maybe 35 steps from my front door. The elliptical and I must get to know each other a little better. I tried it again, and like my experience at the YMCA---my legs were really upset. It's like I'm discovering muscles I didn't realize I had. Oh the burn...and I'm a real wimp---I quickly found my way to the trusty treadmill. I know, I know, I should push myself a little harder and feel the burn, love the burn, go for the burn, but it hurts! OK---I'm being a big baby now. I make myself sick sometimes. I need a personal trainer---someone to bark orders at me like a drill sergeant, someone to really kick my behind when I start whining about a little burn. I'm such a little girl sometimes, I swear.
After my workout I collapsed in bed early and then woke up at nearly 10:30pm, realizing that I never had dinner. I still had 800 calories remaining. I immediately grabbed a banana. Then I threw some of the spaghetti we didn't eat into the microwave. I still left approximately 350 calories on the table. I don't like, nor do I make a habit of doing that. It's just not good to leave that many calories, but I didn't want to eat so blasted late, you know?
Thank you for reading my friend. Starting Thursday night, this blog will go back to being updated every night and occasionally (especially on the weekends) the next morning, instead of always being a day behind! Big thanks to Gayle for pulling a computer repairing miracle out of her trick bag. We're back up and running at home. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
No Plateau: Weigh-Day Success!
It's kind of funny, I woke up on time two mornings in a row without the alarm clock, then I find the alarm clock and oversleep. It's the snooze bar, totally evil that thing. I can't resist making the noise go away for nine more minutes by simply pressing the snooze bar, it's too easy. And I've concluded that you automatically fall into a deeper sleep once you hit the snooze bar. I wake up as soon as the initial alarm sounds, but after hitting the snooze and it goes off again, I'll keep right on sleeping while it blares KPNC all over the place. I need to start banning the snooze, my new neighbors might not appreciate the noise at 4am! Often times it goes off to me voicing a commercial--it's like waking myself up. I haven't had neighbors on the other side of a wall from me in many years. I must remember them. I met one the other day, very nice man--knew me from the radio, I look forward to meeting more.
I was in a hurry yes, but I wasn't sacrificing breakfast, Oh no! I can make a mess of scrambled egg whites in less than 5 minutes. I did, and it was good! I grabbed a banana and an apple and I was off to the races! I do get use to certain things, almost dependent on certain routines or foods. Early on this journey it was Wendy's small Chili for lunch, at least a few times a week. I got sick of it fast! Now it's egg whites with veggies and low-fat part-skim mozzarella. I'm not tired of that yet, but really--I'll get there. Maybe I'll get hooked on steel cut oats again. I'm such a creature of habit, aren't we all? The importance of breakfast has always been super high. It is a must every morning period. The metabolism needs fuel to wake up and start working---breakfast fills that need. Even when we oversleep.
Today was weigh day. I really wanted to weigh much earlier in the day, but couldn't make it until late afternoon. It's a very busy time of year around here, so late afternoon had to work. I walked into a very busy doctors office full of sick people. I walked in with a smile and confident stride, right past the receptionist desk---they're use to this routine---and straight back to where the nurses, doctors, and patient rooms are located. I greet everyone with a smile and they're always happy to see me. They all remember me at my heaviest. They remember the Sean that would come in barely able to breathe, or the Sean that would come in with multiple leg wounds from out of control leg swelling, or the Sean that threw his back out at over 500 pounds and needed two people to help me move around, or the Sean that came in on several occasions with stroke level blood pressure...yeah, they like seeing me now. And I love seeing them every two weeks. Their smiles and kind words really inspire me.
We all know what happened last weigh day. The scale stayed the same at 278. Today it moved. Thank goodness! Three more pounds gone forever! The scale was friendly, giving me 275...oh how relieved. No plateau---just a nice slow loss. We're getting there by golly. Just 45 more pounds until goal. Like I've said before, 230 was just a number that sounded nice to me on Day 1, we'll get there and see how it feels. Who knows where we'll end up when we're at an optimal weight. A couple of big things will factor into that number: Weight training and excess skin removal. Who knows? It doesn't matter at this point, it's business as usual getting to where we're headed.
Tonight I braved the cold for fifteen seconds and walked next door into the fitness room! Oh, I'm gonna love this! It's seriously maybe 35 steps from my front door. The elliptical and I must get to know each other a little better. I tried it again, and like my experience at the YMCA---my legs were really upset. It's like I'm discovering muscles I didn't realize I had. Oh the burn...and I'm a real wimp---I quickly found my way to the trusty treadmill. I know, I know, I should push myself a little harder and feel the burn, love the burn, go for the burn, but it hurts! OK---I'm being a big baby now. I make myself sick sometimes. I need a personal trainer---someone to bark orders at me like a drill sergeant, someone to really kick my behind when I start whining about a little burn. I'm such a little girl sometimes, I swear.
After my workout I collapsed in bed early and then woke up at nearly 10:30pm, realizing that I never had dinner. I still had 800 calories remaining. I immediately grabbed a banana. Then I threw some of the spaghetti we didn't eat into the microwave. I still left approximately 350 calories on the table. I don't like, nor do I make a habit of doing that. It's just not good to leave that many calories, but I didn't want to eat so blasted late, you know?
Thank you for reading my friend. Starting Thursday night, this blog will go back to being updated every night and occasionally (especially on the weekends) the next morning, instead of always being a day behind! Big thanks to Gayle for pulling a computer repairing miracle out of her trick bag. We're back up and running at home. Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Day 450 Anytime Is A Good Time and Properly Portioned Pasta Is Perfect
Day 450
Anytime Is A Good Time and Properly Portioned Pasta Is Perfect
It's a busy time of year for most everyone I run into these days. I ran into an old friend this morning that congratulated me on my weight loss and added “I'm going to get busy after the first of the year.” My first instinct was to talk to them about why the time is now, and not in three weeks, but there's a time and place for everything...and right now wasn't the time for that conversation. It reminded me of all the times I said that very thing. I was always too busy to care about losing weight. Losing weight was always something I knew I had to do at some point, when it was convenient, when I was ready, when I wasn't so busy, after the holidays, after the busy time of year, after vacation, after my birthday, and the list could go on and on. I could have easily decided that September 15th, 2008 just wasn't good for me. My birthday was a month away and only two months away from the holidays. So why start when I did?
Because the time is now. If our ideal weight loss path is something that we can live with forever, if the changes in our food behaviors are real and well intended, then why wouldn't anytime be a good time to start? You know why? Because I always looked at weight loss as a chore. We've been conditioned our entire lives to believe that losing weight 'is hard work.' I was never successful before, truly successful, because I never focused on the positive mental changes I needed to make in order to ease the “pain.” All I focused on back then was how hard it would be...eat less and exercise more, what a struggle that'll be. It's amazing what a different perspective can do for you. I'm still going to eat and enjoy food, I'm just going to eat responsible portions and perhaps move a little more everyday. I'm going to learn what constitutes a “regular” portion, I'm going to enjoy the journey. I'm going to experience some wonderful changes along the way. I'm going to be happy. All the while---I'm still eating what I love, I'm still being me. I don't have to wait for the stars to align properly, you know? Positive perspective, awesome attitude, super high importance level---add them all together and you get success anytime of year.
I prepared Courtney and me an omelet this morning. I love them, I really do. They're so easy to make and with the egg whites the calorie values are out of this world awesome! I grabbed an apple and a banana on the way out for snacks and I was set. I ran a few errands for lunch and decided I needed something to eat, so I pulled into the McDonald's drive-thru. I ordered the grilled chicken snack wrap without any sauce. We're talking about 210 calories in that thing when you leave off the ranch dressing. I arrived back at the studio, opened my lunch and found a fried chicken snack wrap. It's only a 40 or 50 calorie difference to go with the fried, but I wanted the grilled! I decided to try it anyway, but after one bite I had to throw it away. I didn't taste chicken, just grease. It was horrible! Come on McDonald's, I've lost nearly 230 pounds while occasionally enjoying your food, but this was unacceptable. Oh well, I enjoyed my banana and remembered that we planned on having dinner at home later.
I had a wonderful racquetball workout with Whitney this afternoon. You know, if I schedule it right---I could have a racquetball match almost everyday of the week. My friend Scott Hayes also plays, and it's been awhile for us, I need to call him too. Once again I was soundly defeated in three straight games. But---I had a wonderful workout! And that's all that matters really.
I prepared spaghetti with mushrooms, green pepper, and lean ground beef mixed in the tomato sauce. Oh wow, it was so good. And It was much less of a calorie danger than our spaghetti dinners of old. In the early days of this journey, I wrote about how I was almost afraid of pasta. For the longest time I wouldn't think of preparing a pasta dish. I felt that way because we always over did it with pasta. I always fixed three times too much with way too much meat and grease. Not tonight! I used less than a half pound of super lean 93/7 ground beef instead of a full pound (sometimes two) of the cheap and fatty filled 78/22 ground beef. I used one jar of sauce instead of two and I prepared just enough. We always filled an entire giant salad bowl full of spaghetti, enough to feed ten people easy! But that's not how we do things anymore. A serving of spaghetti shouldn't be a 1400 calorie feast, instead about 320 is normal. Add to that a slice of 150 calorie garlic bread and we're at 470. I can do 470 for dinner any day of the week! Irene was planning on coming over to join us, but something came up, and Courtney was tired and slept instead. I enjoyed the dinner and the quiet alone in the middle of our boxes and bags. I then decided to start doing something about all of the stuff that needed put away or at least sorted---so I did some of that too...then went to bed.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is weigh day and I'm looking for some kind of loss. I was left staring at 278 last time, just standing there waiting for it to change. Getting off and back on, like it would make a difference somehow. It didn't. But---as many have pointed out, one weigh-in is not a plateau, so we'll see what tomorrow brings. After losing 227 pounds, I was seriously overdue for a weigh-in like that. Wish me luck on the scales tomorrow. I plan on hitting the doctors office late afternoon. My schedule just doesn't allow for a morning weigh-in. I don't own scales and I don't want to own any. Someone once told me that “you weigh more in the late afternoon,” well OK---as long as I weigh in the afternoon consistently, it shouldn't matter right? I do understand what they're saying---and perhaps some weigh-ins would have been better along the way had they happened first thing bright and early, but seriously, I have no complaints---I mean, really...none. Thanks for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Anytime Is A Good Time and Properly Portioned Pasta Is Perfect
It's a busy time of year for most everyone I run into these days. I ran into an old friend this morning that congratulated me on my weight loss and added “I'm going to get busy after the first of the year.” My first instinct was to talk to them about why the time is now, and not in three weeks, but there's a time and place for everything...and right now wasn't the time for that conversation. It reminded me of all the times I said that very thing. I was always too busy to care about losing weight. Losing weight was always something I knew I had to do at some point, when it was convenient, when I was ready, when I wasn't so busy, after the holidays, after the busy time of year, after vacation, after my birthday, and the list could go on and on. I could have easily decided that September 15th, 2008 just wasn't good for me. My birthday was a month away and only two months away from the holidays. So why start when I did?
Because the time is now. If our ideal weight loss path is something that we can live with forever, if the changes in our food behaviors are real and well intended, then why wouldn't anytime be a good time to start? You know why? Because I always looked at weight loss as a chore. We've been conditioned our entire lives to believe that losing weight 'is hard work.' I was never successful before, truly successful, because I never focused on the positive mental changes I needed to make in order to ease the “pain.” All I focused on back then was how hard it would be...eat less and exercise more, what a struggle that'll be. It's amazing what a different perspective can do for you. I'm still going to eat and enjoy food, I'm just going to eat responsible portions and perhaps move a little more everyday. I'm going to learn what constitutes a “regular” portion, I'm going to enjoy the journey. I'm going to experience some wonderful changes along the way. I'm going to be happy. All the while---I'm still eating what I love, I'm still being me. I don't have to wait for the stars to align properly, you know? Positive perspective, awesome attitude, super high importance level---add them all together and you get success anytime of year.
I prepared Courtney and me an omelet this morning. I love them, I really do. They're so easy to make and with the egg whites the calorie values are out of this world awesome! I grabbed an apple and a banana on the way out for snacks and I was set. I ran a few errands for lunch and decided I needed something to eat, so I pulled into the McDonald's drive-thru. I ordered the grilled chicken snack wrap without any sauce. We're talking about 210 calories in that thing when you leave off the ranch dressing. I arrived back at the studio, opened my lunch and found a fried chicken snack wrap. It's only a 40 or 50 calorie difference to go with the fried, but I wanted the grilled! I decided to try it anyway, but after one bite I had to throw it away. I didn't taste chicken, just grease. It was horrible! Come on McDonald's, I've lost nearly 230 pounds while occasionally enjoying your food, but this was unacceptable. Oh well, I enjoyed my banana and remembered that we planned on having dinner at home later.
I had a wonderful racquetball workout with Whitney this afternoon. You know, if I schedule it right---I could have a racquetball match almost everyday of the week. My friend Scott Hayes also plays, and it's been awhile for us, I need to call him too. Once again I was soundly defeated in three straight games. But---I had a wonderful workout! And that's all that matters really.
I prepared spaghetti with mushrooms, green pepper, and lean ground beef mixed in the tomato sauce. Oh wow, it was so good. And It was much less of a calorie danger than our spaghetti dinners of old. In the early days of this journey, I wrote about how I was almost afraid of pasta. For the longest time I wouldn't think of preparing a pasta dish. I felt that way because we always over did it with pasta. I always fixed three times too much with way too much meat and grease. Not tonight! I used less than a half pound of super lean 93/7 ground beef instead of a full pound (sometimes two) of the cheap and fatty filled 78/22 ground beef. I used one jar of sauce instead of two and I prepared just enough. We always filled an entire giant salad bowl full of spaghetti, enough to feed ten people easy! But that's not how we do things anymore. A serving of spaghetti shouldn't be a 1400 calorie feast, instead about 320 is normal. Add to that a slice of 150 calorie garlic bread and we're at 470. I can do 470 for dinner any day of the week! Irene was planning on coming over to join us, but something came up, and Courtney was tired and slept instead. I enjoyed the dinner and the quiet alone in the middle of our boxes and bags. I then decided to start doing something about all of the stuff that needed put away or at least sorted---so I did some of that too...then went to bed.
Tomorrow (Wednesday) is weigh day and I'm looking for some kind of loss. I was left staring at 278 last time, just standing there waiting for it to change. Getting off and back on, like it would make a difference somehow. It didn't. But---as many have pointed out, one weigh-in is not a plateau, so we'll see what tomorrow brings. After losing 227 pounds, I was seriously overdue for a weigh-in like that. Wish me luck on the scales tomorrow. I plan on hitting the doctors office late afternoon. My schedule just doesn't allow for a morning weigh-in. I don't own scales and I don't want to own any. Someone once told me that “you weigh more in the late afternoon,” well OK---as long as I weigh in the afternoon consistently, it shouldn't matter right? I do understand what they're saying---and perhaps some weigh-ins would have been better along the way had they happened first thing bright and early, but seriously, I have no complaints---I mean, really...none. Thanks for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Day 449 An Attitude Fueled By Freedom
Day 449
An Attitude Fueled By Freedom
This morning came way too fast. After a busy weekend, I really needed a day to just do absolutely nothing! You know what I mean? A relax day if you will. But no, not today---it’s a Monday! I couldn’t find my alarm clock last night amid all the boxes and bags, so I had to rely on my phone to wake me. I’m very dependent on my alarm clock, so this was a leap of faith to shut my eyes without it set, but I had to stop looking and get to sleep! I did wake up on time, thank goodness. And in plenty of time to prepare an egg white omelet on my new stovetop! We’re in the stage of “where did we put that,” and “Oh boy, we’re going to need to go buy this,” Yeah, it’s a transition time for sure.
I sincerely appreciate all of the well wishes lately and the hints, and straight up expressions of concern for me. Several times lately I’ve read a comment or e-mail that says “I hope you’re doing as well as it sounds in your blog.” We are going through a bunch of different changes all at once here, and yes it can be trying and downright strange at times, but what you read is what it is. Maybe I’m repressing the stress and will have a meltdown soon, but I don’t think so. It’s all about attitude. I’m completely open to change, and I expect more changes in the coming year, so I might as well get use to change now. Some of these changes break my heart, some challenge me, some excite me, some make me nervous, and some---the changes I see in the mirror, well---they simply amaze me with delight. The changes in the way I feel cannot be described, I mean---I can try, but how do you describe freedom? Freedom to breathe again, freedom to move without pain, freedom to sit anywhere in any chair I want, freedom to fit into any vehicle I need or want to, freedom to fit, freedom to feel confident in a crowd, freedom to be me, the real me.
You see my friend, the real me has been trapped for so long. Oh I was still good old Sean before, but everything I did, everything I said, every single situation was effected by my size when I weighed over 500 pounds. Those restrictions are gone, allowing me to just be me. I don’t have to be embarrassed by my size anymore. Never again will I worry that I might embarrass my kids in public or at their school. They tell me I never did, bless their hearts. The changes people see in my attitude and personality is simply because that insecurity is gone. And we’re not even done yet. Oh the places we'll go with this newfound confidence and freedom---and attitude.
I had to turn down an invitation for racquetball today. I was just too busy. I wish I had found a way to play because once I found my way home---I collapsed. I did, with several hundred calories remaining---I was done. I don’t even remember falling asleep, I just did. It was the energy of the entire move week that finally got me, and it got me good I tell you. I took a whopping four and half hour nap, I know…a little much, but I guess I needed it. It felt like 10 minutes. That’s how tired I became. I woke up just after 10pm and realized Irene and Courtney were not around. Court was over at her mom’s house doing homework. We had planned on putting stuff away tonight, with Irene coming over to help, but now that’s the plan for Tuesday night.
I also plan on playing racquetball tomorrow with a good treadmill walk/run before going into the court to play. It’ll be a nice workout indeed. I also have access to the fitness center at the new place. I haven’t broke it in yet! I will very soon, I guarantee!
Thank you for reading. It may sometimes seem like I’m smiling through the pain, but honestly---I’m just smiling. ;) That’s a choice I’ve made. And really, after 449 days I’m convinced…everything is all about our choices. Own ‘em, be proud of them or at least learn from them---they’re yours! Choices and consequences, yep---that’s the name of this game really.
Oh, before I forget: I baked a couple of pre-packaged egg rolls when I woke up from my hibernation. Only 140 calories each, not bad---and really tasty---Probably loaded with sodium…hmmm. Not exactly home cooked, but all of the pots and pans are buried in the sea of boxes!! I’ll dig them out tomorrow! Goodnight and…
Good Choices,
Sean
An Attitude Fueled By Freedom
This morning came way too fast. After a busy weekend, I really needed a day to just do absolutely nothing! You know what I mean? A relax day if you will. But no, not today---it’s a Monday! I couldn’t find my alarm clock last night amid all the boxes and bags, so I had to rely on my phone to wake me. I’m very dependent on my alarm clock, so this was a leap of faith to shut my eyes without it set, but I had to stop looking and get to sleep! I did wake up on time, thank goodness. And in plenty of time to prepare an egg white omelet on my new stovetop! We’re in the stage of “where did we put that,” and “Oh boy, we’re going to need to go buy this,” Yeah, it’s a transition time for sure.
I sincerely appreciate all of the well wishes lately and the hints, and straight up expressions of concern for me. Several times lately I’ve read a comment or e-mail that says “I hope you’re doing as well as it sounds in your blog.” We are going through a bunch of different changes all at once here, and yes it can be trying and downright strange at times, but what you read is what it is. Maybe I’m repressing the stress and will have a meltdown soon, but I don’t think so. It’s all about attitude. I’m completely open to change, and I expect more changes in the coming year, so I might as well get use to change now. Some of these changes break my heart, some challenge me, some excite me, some make me nervous, and some---the changes I see in the mirror, well---they simply amaze me with delight. The changes in the way I feel cannot be described, I mean---I can try, but how do you describe freedom? Freedom to breathe again, freedom to move without pain, freedom to sit anywhere in any chair I want, freedom to fit into any vehicle I need or want to, freedom to fit, freedom to feel confident in a crowd, freedom to be me, the real me.
You see my friend, the real me has been trapped for so long. Oh I was still good old Sean before, but everything I did, everything I said, every single situation was effected by my size when I weighed over 500 pounds. Those restrictions are gone, allowing me to just be me. I don’t have to be embarrassed by my size anymore. Never again will I worry that I might embarrass my kids in public or at their school. They tell me I never did, bless their hearts. The changes people see in my attitude and personality is simply because that insecurity is gone. And we’re not even done yet. Oh the places we'll go with this newfound confidence and freedom---and attitude.
I had to turn down an invitation for racquetball today. I was just too busy. I wish I had found a way to play because once I found my way home---I collapsed. I did, with several hundred calories remaining---I was done. I don’t even remember falling asleep, I just did. It was the energy of the entire move week that finally got me, and it got me good I tell you. I took a whopping four and half hour nap, I know…a little much, but I guess I needed it. It felt like 10 minutes. That’s how tired I became. I woke up just after 10pm and realized Irene and Courtney were not around. Court was over at her mom’s house doing homework. We had planned on putting stuff away tonight, with Irene coming over to help, but now that’s the plan for Tuesday night.
I also plan on playing racquetball tomorrow with a good treadmill walk/run before going into the court to play. It’ll be a nice workout indeed. I also have access to the fitness center at the new place. I haven’t broke it in yet! I will very soon, I guarantee!
Thank you for reading. It may sometimes seem like I’m smiling through the pain, but honestly---I’m just smiling. ;) That’s a choice I’ve made. And really, after 449 days I’m convinced…everything is all about our choices. Own ‘em, be proud of them or at least learn from them---they’re yours! Choices and consequences, yep---that’s the name of this game really.
Oh, before I forget: I baked a couple of pre-packaged egg rolls when I woke up from my hibernation. Only 140 calories each, not bad---and really tasty---Probably loaded with sodium…hmmm. Not exactly home cooked, but all of the pots and pans are buried in the sea of boxes!! I’ll dig them out tomorrow! Goodnight and…
Good Choices,
Sean
Monday, December 7, 2009
Day 448 Ordering An Empty Plate and Many Changes
Day 448
Ordering An Empty Plate and Many Changes
Today started much like yesterday. The entire weekend has been constant busy. Today we had to clean the old place and get rid of all the extra stuff we didn’t want or need. What a chore! I threw away some things that were really tough to let go, but there just isn’t room at the new place. The throw away items were things that had been stored for years and years, so it’s not like we’ll miss them too much. Irene, Courtney, and I hit the house strong---giving it a good deep clean. It wasn’t long before the place started looking like it did when we first moved in. We started before 9am and finished just after 6pm. It was a really long day.
For lunch we dined at a Mexican place. Courtney ordered a steak burrito, Irene picked the mixed grill fajitas, and I ordered an empty plate. I know how big the portions come here, so I decided to just share. And we still had leftovers. There just wasn’t much sense in me also ordering something. I liked what they both ordered---I just sampled their stuff and quickly became very satisfied.
I really started thinking about all of the changes we’re experiencing of late. We have new living arrangements, new job duties, new experiences, new ways of thinking, new appearance…new everything just about. I seriously don’t know how we’ve kept it all together, but I’m sure it has something to do with our faith, hope, and sense of humor. We love to laugh, always have. We’re a fun-loving-laughing kind of people.
I still had nearly 350 calories remaining tonight. I decided to throw on a pot of coffee and cook an egg white omelet. Courtney was staying over at Irene’s place, so it was just me tonight. It’s quiet for sure, this alone time, good for me---gives me time to think.
I’m exhausted. I’m making this a short one tonight. I certainly appreciate you reading. Goodnight and…
Good Choices,
Sean
Ordering An Empty Plate and Many Changes
Today started much like yesterday. The entire weekend has been constant busy. Today we had to clean the old place and get rid of all the extra stuff we didn’t want or need. What a chore! I threw away some things that were really tough to let go, but there just isn’t room at the new place. The throw away items were things that had been stored for years and years, so it’s not like we’ll miss them too much. Irene, Courtney, and I hit the house strong---giving it a good deep clean. It wasn’t long before the place started looking like it did when we first moved in. We started before 9am and finished just after 6pm. It was a really long day.
For lunch we dined at a Mexican place. Courtney ordered a steak burrito, Irene picked the mixed grill fajitas, and I ordered an empty plate. I know how big the portions come here, so I decided to just share. And we still had leftovers. There just wasn’t much sense in me also ordering something. I liked what they both ordered---I just sampled their stuff and quickly became very satisfied.
I really started thinking about all of the changes we’re experiencing of late. We have new living arrangements, new job duties, new experiences, new ways of thinking, new appearance…new everything just about. I seriously don’t know how we’ve kept it all together, but I’m sure it has something to do with our faith, hope, and sense of humor. We love to laugh, always have. We’re a fun-loving-laughing kind of people.
I still had nearly 350 calories remaining tonight. I decided to throw on a pot of coffee and cook an egg white omelet. Courtney was staying over at Irene’s place, so it was just me tonight. It’s quiet for sure, this alone time, good for me---gives me time to think.
I’m exhausted. I’m making this a short one tonight. I certainly appreciate you reading. Goodnight and…
Good Choices,
Sean
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Day 447 Move Continues and Showing The Kid How To Handle A Restaurant
Day 447
Move Continues and Showing The Kid How To Handle A Restaurant
I am officially whipped. Did I mention I hate moving? The move was less than a mile away, but that really doesn’t matter, it’s still a move. I didn’t realize how much stuff we accumulated. We had several closets just bursting at the seams with junk. I guess when we didn’t like something or no longer needed it; we just threw it in a closet.
I hired a couple of brothers, both high school football players, to assist in moving the big stuff, and I’m so glad I did. I don’t know what I would have done without them. Whatever I paid them wasn’t enough, those kids worked hard! One of the young men was interested in weight loss advice. We actually planned on getting together earlier this year to discuss weight loss, but our schedules didn’t mesh. I gave him the quick basics of it all when I ran into him at the lake over the summer. The one thing he has focused on is eating smaller portions. I don’t want it to sound like I’m taking any credit for his success, because I never fully consulted him, and even if I had---he’s the one that has to do it…and he has. When he showed up at the house, I couldn’t believe the difference in him. He’s dropped 50 pounds, and now weighs in at exactly 300 pounds. I said “You look incredible,” and he returned the compliment with “you do too!” He told me that he hasn’t been at this low of a weight since sixth grade. Oh, how he reminds me of me. I’m so happy that he’s doing something about his weight at a young age.
After the biggest part of the move, their job was done and I invited the two brothers to JW Cobbs for lunch. I wasn’t paying them what they were worth, so at least I could buy their lunch. J was interested in how I would navigate the menu and stay within the calorie budget. I showed him how ordering from the senior menu or children’s menu, if allowed, is the best move. I ordered the senior portioned chopped beef with mashed potatoes—gravy on the side and fried okra. The order of okra is so small, and so good. Still much higher in calories than the green beans would have been, but at 150, it was worth it to me today. I skipped the roll, the butter, ordered water with extra lemons and made lemonade with zero calorie sweeteners. I only used a teaspoon of the gravy. That’s it, a teaspoon---and it was all the mashed potatoes and I needed. The entire meal checked in at 540 calories. I usually like to keep it at 500 or less, but that’s all right, 540 is workable. When the food arrived, J commented that the portions were perfect. I told ya! It works every time. If we’re at a restaurant that’s strict about the age requirements for certain menu items—we just split something. Portions are so big at most restaurants around here; it’s easy to feed two from one entrée.
Earlier in the week I questioned if moving was a sufficient replacement for a regular workout. YES. Yes it is, absolutely! No doubt my friends. A big thanks to Irene, Courtney, J and E, and my buddy Dan for supplying the truck and trailer---we all worked together on this one. Splitting a household into two separate households is tricky. But we all worked together and made it happen.
I’m so sick of eating out! Getting back into the groove of eating good home cooked meals is so important. The kitchen stuff is the first thing I plan on unpacking and organizing!
Thank you for reading. I’m absolutely beat! Tomorrow (Sunday), we deep clean the old place. Oh joy! Goodnight and…
Good Choices,
Sean
Move Continues and Showing The Kid How To Handle A Restaurant
I am officially whipped. Did I mention I hate moving? The move was less than a mile away, but that really doesn’t matter, it’s still a move. I didn’t realize how much stuff we accumulated. We had several closets just bursting at the seams with junk. I guess when we didn’t like something or no longer needed it; we just threw it in a closet.
I hired a couple of brothers, both high school football players, to assist in moving the big stuff, and I’m so glad I did. I don’t know what I would have done without them. Whatever I paid them wasn’t enough, those kids worked hard! One of the young men was interested in weight loss advice. We actually planned on getting together earlier this year to discuss weight loss, but our schedules didn’t mesh. I gave him the quick basics of it all when I ran into him at the lake over the summer. The one thing he has focused on is eating smaller portions. I don’t want it to sound like I’m taking any credit for his success, because I never fully consulted him, and even if I had---he’s the one that has to do it…and he has. When he showed up at the house, I couldn’t believe the difference in him. He’s dropped 50 pounds, and now weighs in at exactly 300 pounds. I said “You look incredible,” and he returned the compliment with “you do too!” He told me that he hasn’t been at this low of a weight since sixth grade. Oh, how he reminds me of me. I’m so happy that he’s doing something about his weight at a young age.
After the biggest part of the move, their job was done and I invited the two brothers to JW Cobbs for lunch. I wasn’t paying them what they were worth, so at least I could buy their lunch. J was interested in how I would navigate the menu and stay within the calorie budget. I showed him how ordering from the senior menu or children’s menu, if allowed, is the best move. I ordered the senior portioned chopped beef with mashed potatoes—gravy on the side and fried okra. The order of okra is so small, and so good. Still much higher in calories than the green beans would have been, but at 150, it was worth it to me today. I skipped the roll, the butter, ordered water with extra lemons and made lemonade with zero calorie sweeteners. I only used a teaspoon of the gravy. That’s it, a teaspoon---and it was all the mashed potatoes and I needed. The entire meal checked in at 540 calories. I usually like to keep it at 500 or less, but that’s all right, 540 is workable. When the food arrived, J commented that the portions were perfect. I told ya! It works every time. If we’re at a restaurant that’s strict about the age requirements for certain menu items—we just split something. Portions are so big at most restaurants around here; it’s easy to feed two from one entrée.
Earlier in the week I questioned if moving was a sufficient replacement for a regular workout. YES. Yes it is, absolutely! No doubt my friends. A big thanks to Irene, Courtney, J and E, and my buddy Dan for supplying the truck and trailer---we all worked together on this one. Splitting a household into two separate households is tricky. But we all worked together and made it happen.
I’m so sick of eating out! Getting back into the groove of eating good home cooked meals is so important. The kitchen stuff is the first thing I plan on unpacking and organizing!
Thank you for reading. I’m absolutely beat! Tomorrow (Sunday), we deep clean the old place. Oh joy! Goodnight and…
Good Choices,
Sean
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