Friday, January 30, 2015

January 30th, 2015 Beautifully Retroactive

January 30th, 2015 Beautifully Retroactive

Getting up in time for my radio show was tough after the exceptionally late night. I was a little grumpy for the wear and it seemed like everyone around me wanted me to do what they needed me to do and I had little time to do what was already in front of me. It was a busy day. It wasn't a day where I could finish my show and crawl back into bed.

I've noticed a shift, though. Now, when I get into 'tired/irritable' mode, it doesn't seem to affect my resolve for taking extraordinary care. There was a time, not too long ago, when I couldn't say that at all. In fact, I clearly remember a time when any unsettling of my harmonious perception could/would send me into struggle mode. So, there's growth!

I had a location broadcast from 11am to 1pm today. Often times at these events, there's plenty of free food. Today was no exception. Except, it wasn't even a concern. I didn't reach out for support to help me through it, because 1/4 lb hotdogs and potato chips weren't the least bit appealing. My plan was to hold on until the broadcast finished, then pick up some grilled chicken and squash on the way home. That's what I did. And it was good! 

I believe it's important to recognize and give ourselves a little pat on the back when we notice these shifts in behavior. When we consider the fact that this road isn't necessarily about big victories, instead, it's all about the sum of a bunch of smaller victories--then we can truly appreciate, there's really no such thing as small victories.  Each one contributes to our trek in critically important ways.

I've been meaning to post #throwbackthursday "before" pictures every week--and so far, I've been wildly inconsistent with this plan. Yesterday's post was already packed, so I waited until now to post this photo of me at my absolute heaviest.  
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That is one of the most fake smiles I've ever mustered, I swear! I was normally a little better at flashing the "I feel horrible but since you're taking my picture I'm supposed to smile," smile. For whatever reason, I couldn't pull it off in this one. 

Another shift in perspective I've experienced is how I look at 'before' pictures. I held so much self-judgement, shame and an entire smorgasbord of other negative emotions back then and now, I can honestly look at the pictures with love, compassion and understanding. And not because I'm losing weight and feeling great. It's because it's me, there--that's me, heavier, sure--but it doesn't matter. No longer do I look at "old Sean" like he was a long ago friend who passed away. If I would have taken the time back then to let go of the self-imposed negative perspective, I could have discovered a love transcending appearance and perceived failures. It wouldn't have meant avoiding losing weight to improve health and taking better care in general, it would have meant freeing up mental clutter enabling me to move forward easier.

I can appreciate and feel that love now, and it's beautifully retroactive.
  
My Tweets Today:


























Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

12 comments:

  1. For someone who's article on AOL way back when had something about losing weight and never having eaten one salad I sure see a certain amount of lettuce in your meals regularly now. :) Just saying. Despite being tired looks like you have had a good day. That's wonderful Sean. Glad to back reading your blog after having the surgery on my foot. Should have no problem keeping up with them now since I have 6 weeks of nothing to do but keep my foot up.

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    1. Leah-- I'm wishing you a speedy recovery, my friend! Winter time in Canada--isn't that a good time to be in a six week recovery process? Stay warm and heal!!
      Yeah-- the salad thing...I suppose I've matured, slightly. :) For the record--when I think of a salad, I think of the salad on the table at Thursday night's banquet...uhg! I'm definitely more "lettuce friendly" these days. My lunch today was a salad. I'm just real particular about the ingredients and cut of the lettuce...shredded? Yes. Leaf lettuce or chunky lettuce? No!
      You'll be back up and at it before you know it, Leah! Take care!

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  2. Fore the record, I think you're handsome overweight and moderate sized. :)

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  3. Sean, You are truly an inspiring and hard working man. Keep it up, you are doing so great!

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  4. Sean, just wanted to say awesome sticking with the weights! Slow is the right way to start. Too many folks go in "hard core" - hurt for 5 days, and never go back. Build up to it - and hopefully you will enjoy it as much as the elliptical! take care!

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    1. Neca--I sincerely appreciate this! Thank you! Yeah--I've never been a "hard core" approach, kind of guy. I may have missed some results along the way, but I've also missed injury. I do, sometimes, play it too safe, I think. But all is well.

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  5. You're awesome Sean! You've come so far.

    Zoe

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  6. Sean..the fact that you see you in that picture and love all of you is the best thing ever.

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    1. Christine, it is a very good thing. Very. Thank you. ;)

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