Tuesday, January 6, 2015

January 6th, 2015 I Want More

January 6th, 2015 I Want More

One of the challenges along this trek is trying to minimize the "my own worst enemy" syndrome. Most of us can agree this journey we're on is about much more than just food and exercise. Every choice we make affects our mood and mood can immediately have an impact on our resolve. Sometimes it's a positive impact. Other times, not so much.

With me, it comes down to financial choices, time management choices, cleaning choices, the choice to procrastinate and I'm sure I could find more if I tried really hard. My point is, along the way I've recognized how these non-food/non-exercise things affect me and ultimately influence my resolve and attitude.

The pursuit certainly isn't toward perfection. It's simply about self-awareness and understanding that my choice to not cut up that credit card, or not clean my apartment, or not use my time wisely, or put off that special project at work--or my own personal/professional projects, these choices make a significant impact on how I feel about everything else.

I can very easily be my own worst enemy or my best friend and I'm making those choices everyday. I just took the time to clean my apartment. And you know what? I feel amazing as a result. I finished my show today and then buckled down and didn't stop producing radio commercials until my stack was caught up and manageable. And you know what? It felt incredible. All of these seemingly unrelated choices affect my resolve as it applies to my weight loss goals.

I struggle with all of these type of examples and it all comes down to this question: What am I doing or not doing to complicate things? And further, What can I do to increase harmony in these other parts of my life, since I know they affect the other parts?

Today was an exceptionally strong day. I felt empowered to do well and maintain the integrity of my plan. There's comfort to be found at the end of a successful day. It's a peace far greater than any comfort I ever found in excessive food. 

I invest a lot of energy in doing what I do. It isn't always easy. For me, it doesn't come naturally. If I tried to do what I did during my initial weight loss, I don't think I would be where I am right now. I clearly needed additional structure, greater accountability and some key elements absent from my previous trip along this road.

And it's okay that it takes this additional effort and it doesn't come naturally. If it did, I wouldn't have spent so much time as a 500 pound man. We all must do what we must to maintain our recovery and move in a positive direction toward our goals. If that means a heightened awareness that's constantly running in the background of our lives, then so be it. What rewards will it bring? What's the alternative if we don't?

I've spent the majority of my life living the alternative. Now, I'm willing to do the work in order to reap the rewards. I've had a taste of it. It's good. And I want more. 

Tomorrow is weigh day! I'll make the visit to my doctors office and check in for this tri-weekly event. Naturally, I'm obsessing a tiny bit over what I'll find. Hey--I'm human!! But one thing is certain, I'll send a text to a support buddy on the way in and out, so if my perspective needs shifted, you can bet I'll get it from them. It's all good, no matter what the scale says. 

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Thank you for reading and your continued support,
Strength,
Sean

14 comments:

  1. Great analysis of daily choices and their consequences!

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    1. It's so very true. It all connects! :) Thank you!

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  2. "Every choice we make affects our mood and mood can immediately have an impact on our resolve. Sean, this is SO true! I never maintained any kind of weight loss long enough to find this out until this one. I have never been a neat person, but I find that cleaning my apartment now has an effect on my ability to stay on track and avoid going into total chaos and feeling like a waste product, and that affecting my food choices. Also, I have found out that doing a task I dread instead of putting it off has a very good effect on my choices. Amazing!

    Dede

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    1. Dede, isn't it remarkable? I'm so glad you could relate! It's a powerful thing, for sure!

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  3. I was off yesterday and cleaned everything after de christmatizing...nothing beats the feeling of a clean home! You are right about how all our choices can affect us in different ways. I try to remind myself of that when I'm having trouble making the , sadly, it results in me over analyzing every single thing mos of the time lol Live and Learn! Stay strong!

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    1. Paralysis by analysis can be a tough thing, Alati. Breaking it requires what you're already doing. You're doing it!! Live and learn, indeed!! I will stay strong, you too!

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  4. Our choices do effect us... thats for sure! I wonder something from you though , Sean... do you find that you are more accountable living on your own? Would you be able to be this stable if you had someone with you, someone who eats "normally?" Its a silly question, but I wonder these things because you can cook what YOU want and do what you want at all times. I feel I'm always questioning my own self. Like If I come home and he makes pasta and chicken cutlets or a saucy thing, I have to always keep telling myself "don't eat it, if you do its down hill from here!" I guess its like what Alati just said I'm always over analyzing my thoughts! Some days it all clicks, doesn't it? And some , notsomuch!
    But the good news is that since I've increased, yes, increased my calorie intake daily, I am finally on the downlow of losing .. I'm going to hit that 100 lb mark! I know I will now. I'm not giving this up...thats for sure!
    I hope your WI goes great for you!! I have a feeling its going to be a good loss! :)
    Rosie

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    1. Actually, living by myself--in the past, has been detrimental for me...because of the nature of food addiction--the retreat into isolation is much easier when there isn't someone around to call you on it. This is why I'm making a point to stay connected with others 24/7, basically. I constantly remind myself, I'm not alone.
      Now--the issue you mention here--what if I lived with someone who eats in a completely different way? It might be a challenge--although my good friend, Life Coach Gerri Helms has successfully taken extraordinary care for 21 years, despite being married to a great guy who is fortunately able to eat whatever he desires. He's extremely supportive of her and what she does, always-- and they've found a wonderful way to make it work well.
      If I loved with someone who was constantly eating sugar, I honestly don't think--at this point, It would bother me because my perspective on sugar has been so dramatically changed during the course of my abstinence.
      Now--on the other hand, if they kept bags of chips and other non-sugar "goodies" around...I might find some struggle pretty quickly.
      I applaud what you're doing, Rosie--in so many ways. You're meeting your challenges and winning, everyday. Even when you feel you're not, you truly are. How do I know this? You said it, "I'm not giving up...that's for sure!"
      That's the key.
      I'm overjoyed you're following the advice to bump up your calories--and finding success! You're proving important things---and learning important things, Rosie.
      I sincerely appreciate your support!

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  5. Man, I always thought I was your worst enemy. Tell me I'm in the top five, at least!

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    1. Well, if isn't my arch enemy, the one and only Jack Sh*t. You're the Joker to my Batman, kind sir. And I adore you for it.
      Your creative genius has blown my mind on several occasions...the backwards post is still my favorite. I still don't know how you did that one.
      Not to take anything away from you--but I sometimes wonder if you call everyone in for creative brainstorming sessions with your JSGF crew.

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  6. True words! I have often thought this, that life is one big related ball of string. and when we finally start unraveling it, things work. Great to hear you recovered from the flu and back to your old, or new self.

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    1. "One big related ball of string." I like that. Boy, unraveling it sure takes patience, sometimes! Thank you, A. I'm so happy to be feeling so much better!

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  7. Once again Sean, you have described exactly what I am going through. I am definitely my own worst enemy. Why is it easier to be that rather than our own best friend? Good luck on the weigh in.

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    1. Katrin, It takes much less effort to be our own worst enemy! To be our own best friend, it takes lots of consideration, intention and love mixed with a big batch of self-awareness. It's not always easy to stir that pot. But it's ultimately worth it to try our best. We deserve it, Katrin--that kind of effort, you know what I mean? We really do.

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