Taking Good Care
I've been using a borrowed cpap machine post sleep study while I wait for the results and new prescription best for me. I do not recommend this to anyone. A CPAP is specifically set for each person and using one with a high setting if you don't need a high setting could be very dangerous. The only reason I'm okay with doing this is the pressure setting on the borrowed machine is 7, which is relatively low. It's not the higher level of pressure I need, but it's something. The very dear friend who loaned me the machine has recently lost a considerable amount of weight and lucky for him, he seems to be relieved of the disorder. His machine wasn't in use and hadn't been for some time, so out of desperation I gladly accepted his offer to let me borrow. The first night wasn't good because I wasn't accustomed to this type of continuous positive pressure. After learning what little I did from the sleep technician (about the absence of central apnea episodes) there wasn't anyway I was strapping the bipap to my head again. Not wanting to go without something to encourage breathing, I'm using this machine until I get my own with the custom settings. My rest has improved each night as I adjust to a different kind of air pressure flowing through the tube. I even made it through an entire work day without needing to take an extended nap break! It isn't perfect, I'm still tired but I'm not body breaking down exhausted, and that's a very nice improvement.
Taking good care takes constant effort and awareness. It also takes reaching out to people for support. It's a powerful thing, the role support plays in this journey. At some point I think I resigned myself to the belief that it was just too hard to care anymore, given the circumstances. But honestly, that's baloney, and further--it's a very counterproductive attitude and perspective to adopt.
With support coming in from all sides of the social media universe and the tremendous support from close friends far and near, I've successfully made it two weeks without a binge. I've drawn on my own spirituality many times during this period and that's having a giant impact too. I'm also not giving in or sacrificing what I need and what's best for me in order to be more available or pleasing to anyone else. That last sentence is a biggie because my very nature is to be a people-pleaser, at all costs. And what happens when I sacrifice what's best for me today, right now--in this moment...is, no matter how small, the start of an unraveling of sorts. This focus or "obsession" as I've heard it called, is paramount to my success at this juncture. My health and well being is at stake and I'm getting all sorts of "obsessed" about taking care of me.
When it comes to what I'm eating, I'm a little more selective than when I started losing weight over 5 years ago. I find myself naturally staying away from simple sugars and eating more fruits. I'm eating more protein most of the time, at least according to the nutrition breakdown on My Fitness Pal. I'm a creature of habit too. My breakfast is most always the same and I have other staples I rely on throughout each day and evening. I'm fairly careful with my calorie investments because when the 1700 in the bank is depleted, I'm done.
There is a mountain of research information about nutrition and so much I don't know or haven't taken the time to understand. After all I've learned along this road, I'm still very much in the "lower calories-more movement" equals weight loss. And I'm there despite the fact that perhaps with a few tweaks here and there, I could fine tune and manipulate how my body burns fat; how the metabolism operates. I'm still learning and most importantly, my mind is open to learning. Although I'm very careful not to take too much in at once or else I'll get overwhelmed and that could lead to frustration and feelings of inadequacy...neither good for me at this point.
My first official weigh-in will be February 11th at my doctors visit. I have a complete fasting blood lab scheduled for the 7th and the follow up appointment is the 11th. I'm fine with this lengthy time between weigh-ins. I've talked about and written extensively about the psychological power the scale seems to wield, especially when weight isn't coming off as quickly as we had hoped. It's also powerful when it does and when a big loss is recorded it sets the expectation bar really high and when results slow, it can be very disappointing. So a relaxed weighing schedule is okay for me, perhaps monthly. Yeah..once a month at my doctors office, same scale...I can do that easily.
I've recently strapped on my "I'm Choosing Change" leather bracelet and I'm wearing it proudly. I hadn't sold one in so long, I think my manufacturer/supplier had given up on me. Then, out of the blue I received an order from Mona. I immediately sent Mona a message explaining I was out of stock and it might be a few weeks for me to have more of these custom made bracelets produced. She was fine with this, so I called the supplier. The minimum I can have produced at one time is 20. So I ordered the minimum. Yesterday I decided to offer up these 19 additional bracelets on facebook and the response was phenomenal. If you were one of the people ordering, thank you! Within hours the 19 were sold out. Then I received a few more orders. I will ship the first 20 orders and have an additional 20 manufactured next week. If you haven't bought yours, maybe now's the time! Once again, I'll have a surplus of 17!
I'm not a very good salesman, I'll admit. I never "push" anything really. This blog isn't a platform for sales, never has been. But I would like to move these additional bracelets.
If you would like to order one, simply click this link http://www.transformationroad.com/505store.html scroll to the bottom of the page and you'll see pictures of this fantastic bracelet! The $18.00 price includes shipping anywhere in the world. The international rates are a little pricey, but that's okay--I'd love you to have one regardless of where you are. The "add to cart" button takes you to a secure PayPal site for your purchase.
Thank you for reading and your support. I sincerely appreciate every single well wish and prayer. I'm doing my best to read as many blogs and postings of others and offering my support as I can. I'm also loving the tight support offered in My Fitness Pal. My social media network includes Facebook, Twitter, this blog of course and My Fitness Pal. You can also reach me by email anytime.
My best always,
Strength,
Sean
Showing posts with label central apnea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label central apnea. Show all posts
Saturday, January 25, 2014
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
The Sleep Issue
The Sleep Issue
One of the major challenges I experienced after hitting goal in November 2010 was a horrible return of my sleep apnea. It was something I honestly thought was gone forever because after the first 100 pounds lost, it virtually disappeared. Suddenly I could sleep, breathe and feel fully rested without a cpap machine and I rejoiced! But then it came back somewhere around the 200 pounds lost mark. I've since discussed this with sleep lab technicians and a doctor who all confirmed this was a common occurrence. I quickly reinstated the use of my cpap when the symptoms started happening again. But this time it wasn't working like it did before. I was still exhausted everyday. A month after hitting 230 pounds, I underwent the first of two sleep studies over a two month period. The final diagnosis was sleep apnea and central apnea. Things had changed dramatically. I had never heard of central apnea.
So I quickly googled it: "Central sleep apnea occurs because your brain doesn't send proper signals to the muscles that control your breathing. This condition is different from obstructive sleep apnea, in which you can't breathe normally because of upper airway obstruction. Central sleep apnea is less common than obstructive sleep apnea. Central sleep apnea may occur as a result of other conditions, such as heart failure and stroke. Sleeping at a high altitude also may cause central sleep apnea."
I had both. Obstructive and this less common, brain doesn't work central version. The treatment involved a different type of machine. I started using this new machine and I was still tired. It wasn't easy to get comfortable with this bipap at all. My body would fight it most of the time and most nights the mask would end up off by morning. Sleeping without it seemed the better alternative. I stayed active during this time, continued eating within a reasonable budget and exercising. I successfully maintained the 275 pound loss for a year and a half. And I rarely made it through a full night on the bipap. I made it a habit to nap almost everyday in an effort to make up for the lost sleep. Honestly, it didn't make too much sense trying to make up for bad sleep with more bad sleep, but as it became worse, I became desperate.
Eventually I forced myself to use the bipap machine and soon I was making it through the night. It wasn't ever effective, at least not to the "night and day" degree of my previous cpap experience. As my sleep became worse, I became more and more depressed, less inclined to exercise and basically lethargic. This wasn't how being at a healthy weight was supposed to feel! Instead of being proactive and speaking up, I took a negative approach--citing the expense and trouble of possibly needing another sleep lab to help fix whatever was wrong this time. Instead of figuring out a way to do what was medically necessary for me to take better care of myself, I fell into a pattern of bad sleep, nap in the middle of the day, followed by bad sleep again the next night. During this time I started regaining at a steady rate.
I'm not offering this as an excuse of any sort. It was/is a circumstance and my attitude and reaction to it wasn't the best course for me. And this wasn't the only circumstance contributing, there were relationship issues and a few other things contributing to this depressive cycle. Depression breeds things to be depressed about, you know what I mean?
But this post isn't about the why of where I am. This post is about me being proactive and taking better care of myself now, today.
The apnea has worsened recently. At the same time I've declared to take better care by maintaining a balance with food and exercise, writing more and getting a handle once again, I've been exhausted worse than ever. Despite this, I'm thrilled to report that reclaiming this balance has brought me tremendous support and strength and I'm doing wonderfully with food. Exercise has been another story. But in the name of compassion for me, I'm okay with a lighter exercise schedule for now. I clearly must get this sleep issue treated immediately because untreated, it's making everything ten times harder, not to mention what it's doing to my metabolism. Tuesday morning I drove to work feeling unfit to drive. I somehow made it through my radio show but not without a few slurred words here and there and what might have sounded like a slight intoxication. I was sent home immediately after a 9:30am meeting and told to get some sleep. But isn't that the most frustrating thing? That's all I want to do! But I can't. I called the doctor as soon as I got home and I must have impressed an urgency on the nurse because the doctor called me directly a short time later. I expressed to him how horrible things had become and asked for an emergency sleep study or a fast track appointment, something---anything...I just need relief.
Yesterday afternoon the nurse called back and had me an appointment for a sleep study that night in Stillwater. Talk about an answer to a prayer!
I was asked about my previous sleep lab studies during my intake. I mentioned the sleep apnea and central apnea diagnosis. The technician stopped me and asked, "Did you have some kind of brain trauma?" No, I haven't had any kind of brain trauma that I know of in my past...and she said "Usually central starts as a result of trauma." Hmmmm. Okay. She continued hooking me up to all kinds of sensors and the sleep study started.
It was purely diagnostic, meaning I slept without a machine of any kind. And when I woke, I found out something very interesting.
The sleep technician monitoring me all night said she couldn't say too much, because the official reading would come from the doctor, but she wanted me to know that there wasn't any occurrence of central apnea. Not one. All night.
Which leads me to believe I was possibly misdiagnosed during the sleep labs from three years ago. This would explain why I never adapted to or benefited from the medical device prescribed to correct the issue. This explains so much! Perhaps now I can get back to a regular cpap machine and finally find some rest.
This is all a part of taking better care of me. This is what it's all about.
As far as what I'm doing with food and exercise: I'm staying within a 1700 calorie budget. I've only walked a few times in the last week and a half. When I say "My food has been good," what I mean is, I've been within my budget and I haven't binged. I look forward to increasing my exercise and getting back some stamina. My goodness how quickly it goes! One mile and I'm hurting and out of breath!! I was doing 5 and 10 K's without too much difficulty--and now a mile is tough! But that's OKAY! :) Really--it is. And I know how quickly it returns with consistency.
Given the circumstances, I'm proud of where I am. I'm back and it feels good. And I'm doing a fabulous job of being compassionate toward me... And considering I didn't really know what that meant at one point, I'm figuring it out and it's a much better way of being.
I found some Joseph's 60 calorie pita's during my most recent shopping trip so needless to say it's been a regular feature of breakfast for me and even lunch as you'll see in the photo below. I've also included a picture of Noah and me playing with the camera phone. Noah is my 6 month old grandson! I'm a 42 year old gramps, can you believe it?
Looking forward to the road ahead! Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
Recent lunch: Chicken and Cheese Pita Pizzas with a side of watermelon! It was a little too much actually, checking in at 574 calories. I was full 3/4 of the way.
The highlight of 2013, for sure: My grandson Noah Riley was born July 6th, 2013 to my daughter Courtney. In this photo, Noah is constantly fascinated by the phone. He really wants to drool all over my phone! Total accident that the inspirational message on the wall behind was "photo bombing" us. It reads: "It's never too late to live happily ever after." Very nice.
One of the major challenges I experienced after hitting goal in November 2010 was a horrible return of my sleep apnea. It was something I honestly thought was gone forever because after the first 100 pounds lost, it virtually disappeared. Suddenly I could sleep, breathe and feel fully rested without a cpap machine and I rejoiced! But then it came back somewhere around the 200 pounds lost mark. I've since discussed this with sleep lab technicians and a doctor who all confirmed this was a common occurrence. I quickly reinstated the use of my cpap when the symptoms started happening again. But this time it wasn't working like it did before. I was still exhausted everyday. A month after hitting 230 pounds, I underwent the first of two sleep studies over a two month period. The final diagnosis was sleep apnea and central apnea. Things had changed dramatically. I had never heard of central apnea.
So I quickly googled it: "Central sleep apnea occurs because your brain doesn't send proper signals to the muscles that control your breathing. This condition is different from obstructive sleep apnea, in which you can't breathe normally because of upper airway obstruction. Central sleep apnea is less common than obstructive sleep apnea. Central sleep apnea may occur as a result of other conditions, such as heart failure and stroke. Sleeping at a high altitude also may cause central sleep apnea."
I had both. Obstructive and this less common, brain doesn't work central version. The treatment involved a different type of machine. I started using this new machine and I was still tired. It wasn't easy to get comfortable with this bipap at all. My body would fight it most of the time and most nights the mask would end up off by morning. Sleeping without it seemed the better alternative. I stayed active during this time, continued eating within a reasonable budget and exercising. I successfully maintained the 275 pound loss for a year and a half. And I rarely made it through a full night on the bipap. I made it a habit to nap almost everyday in an effort to make up for the lost sleep. Honestly, it didn't make too much sense trying to make up for bad sleep with more bad sleep, but as it became worse, I became desperate.
Eventually I forced myself to use the bipap machine and soon I was making it through the night. It wasn't ever effective, at least not to the "night and day" degree of my previous cpap experience. As my sleep became worse, I became more and more depressed, less inclined to exercise and basically lethargic. This wasn't how being at a healthy weight was supposed to feel! Instead of being proactive and speaking up, I took a negative approach--citing the expense and trouble of possibly needing another sleep lab to help fix whatever was wrong this time. Instead of figuring out a way to do what was medically necessary for me to take better care of myself, I fell into a pattern of bad sleep, nap in the middle of the day, followed by bad sleep again the next night. During this time I started regaining at a steady rate.
I'm not offering this as an excuse of any sort. It was/is a circumstance and my attitude and reaction to it wasn't the best course for me. And this wasn't the only circumstance contributing, there were relationship issues and a few other things contributing to this depressive cycle. Depression breeds things to be depressed about, you know what I mean?
But this post isn't about the why of where I am. This post is about me being proactive and taking better care of myself now, today.
The apnea has worsened recently. At the same time I've declared to take better care by maintaining a balance with food and exercise, writing more and getting a handle once again, I've been exhausted worse than ever. Despite this, I'm thrilled to report that reclaiming this balance has brought me tremendous support and strength and I'm doing wonderfully with food. Exercise has been another story. But in the name of compassion for me, I'm okay with a lighter exercise schedule for now. I clearly must get this sleep issue treated immediately because untreated, it's making everything ten times harder, not to mention what it's doing to my metabolism. Tuesday morning I drove to work feeling unfit to drive. I somehow made it through my radio show but not without a few slurred words here and there and what might have sounded like a slight intoxication. I was sent home immediately after a 9:30am meeting and told to get some sleep. But isn't that the most frustrating thing? That's all I want to do! But I can't. I called the doctor as soon as I got home and I must have impressed an urgency on the nurse because the doctor called me directly a short time later. I expressed to him how horrible things had become and asked for an emergency sleep study or a fast track appointment, something---anything...I just need relief.
Yesterday afternoon the nurse called back and had me an appointment for a sleep study that night in Stillwater. Talk about an answer to a prayer!
I was asked about my previous sleep lab studies during my intake. I mentioned the sleep apnea and central apnea diagnosis. The technician stopped me and asked, "Did you have some kind of brain trauma?" No, I haven't had any kind of brain trauma that I know of in my past...and she said "Usually central starts as a result of trauma." Hmmmm. Okay. She continued hooking me up to all kinds of sensors and the sleep study started.
It was purely diagnostic, meaning I slept without a machine of any kind. And when I woke, I found out something very interesting.
The sleep technician monitoring me all night said she couldn't say too much, because the official reading would come from the doctor, but she wanted me to know that there wasn't any occurrence of central apnea. Not one. All night.
Which leads me to believe I was possibly misdiagnosed during the sleep labs from three years ago. This would explain why I never adapted to or benefited from the medical device prescribed to correct the issue. This explains so much! Perhaps now I can get back to a regular cpap machine and finally find some rest.
This is all a part of taking better care of me. This is what it's all about.
As far as what I'm doing with food and exercise: I'm staying within a 1700 calorie budget. I've only walked a few times in the last week and a half. When I say "My food has been good," what I mean is, I've been within my budget and I haven't binged. I look forward to increasing my exercise and getting back some stamina. My goodness how quickly it goes! One mile and I'm hurting and out of breath!! I was doing 5 and 10 K's without too much difficulty--and now a mile is tough! But that's OKAY! :) Really--it is. And I know how quickly it returns with consistency.
Given the circumstances, I'm proud of where I am. I'm back and it feels good. And I'm doing a fabulous job of being compassionate toward me... And considering I didn't really know what that meant at one point, I'm figuring it out and it's a much better way of being.
I found some Joseph's 60 calorie pita's during my most recent shopping trip so needless to say it's been a regular feature of breakfast for me and even lunch as you'll see in the photo below. I've also included a picture of Noah and me playing with the camera phone. Noah is my 6 month old grandson! I'm a 42 year old gramps, can you believe it?
Looking forward to the road ahead! Thank you for reading,
Strength,
Sean
Recent lunch: Chicken and Cheese Pita Pizzas with a side of watermelon! It was a little too much actually, checking in at 574 calories. I was full 3/4 of the way.
The highlight of 2013, for sure: My grandson Noah Riley was born July 6th, 2013 to my daughter Courtney. In this photo, Noah is constantly fascinated by the phone. He really wants to drool all over my phone! Total accident that the inspirational message on the wall behind was "photo bombing" us. It reads: "It's never too late to live happily ever after." Very nice.
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