Fatherly Pride and Size 36 Jeans
Courtney's first day of her senior year in high school was Thursday. She's maintained the weight she's lost—and this first day of school proved that she is still feeling the benefits of being 80 pounds lighter. We had lunch together today and we talked about working out together later in the coming week. Courtney has her sights set on losing another 50 or 60. And it's cool to hear her talk about her journey, because it might as well be me--she really understands what it's all about. I beam with pride when I talk about my daughters, I love them so much...and I love it that they understand the concept behind “good choices.” They both have a keen understanding of choices and consequences, they understand what I mean when I talk about personal responsibility, and it gives me confidence in them---but even better, it gives them confidence in themselves.
I've always felt horrible about my influence on them growing up---the horrible example I set that indeed led them straight to obesity. But now I see...and they understand, and we're at a place where we can look back and appreciate all we've learned along the way---and we can take pride in what's ahead. And I realize—My influence on them now is right and good...and it's beautiful.
Courtney and I went shopping for her some school clothes today. She was absolutely thrilled to find some jeans she liked, and in a size she loved. The smile on her face when she opened the dressing room door said it all---she's a confident young woman...and that confidence and enthusiasm has incredible power at any age---especially 17. Last year I had Courtney write a paragraph about her first day back after a successful summer of weight loss. I re-read it today, and just had to share:
Today was the first day of school, the first day of my Junior year! It was unlike any other first days of school, my confidence was the difference. Everyone today DID notice my weight loss over the summer and over the past year, and DID feel the need to say something. I got probably 10+ compliments today. The feeling I had is something I've never felt on a first day of school, it was totally not like me. I felt like a whole new person. Being self-conscious at school is one of the most uncomfortable feelings, I'm just glad I never have to go through that again. Some of the differences were simple and some were drastic. For example, usually when I walk up to the 3rd floor for one of my classes I feel sweaty! And out of breath! Today after walking up to the 3rd floor with ease, I wasn't sweaty or the slightest bit out of breath. Then the next thing I noticed was fitting into the desk a lot better than I did freshman and sophomore year! The desk at the high school can really make someone feel uncomfortable if you're overweight, cause the sizes of some of them can be a really tight squeeze. Not today! I fit in every single desk as if it were the easiest thing in the world. I had plenty of room between the desk and myself. It felt amazing. Last but seriously not least was the way my social skills improved 100%. I don't feel awkward and ugly when I talk to people. I feel confident and pretty. So just overall, losing weight has really made a difference in my high school experience so far! There's no way I'm going back to my old habits. I could get use to this amazing feeling, and it just makes me so excited for these next two years of my high school career. Can't wait!
Wow---I get emotional reading that again. She has that same wonderful confidence this year, and her plans for higher education, I believe, are directly related to that confidence and unstoppable positive attitude. Courtney has told me that she really wants to be a pediatrician someday. Isn't that awesome? She dreams of helping kids---and her own experiences in childhood obesity and the emotions involved will undoubtedly benefit her and countless kids someday. I just want to say---I'm so proud that both of my daughters dream of professions that deal with helping children. I don't know how we did it, and I'm not sure how much credit we can take---but we did something right in raising them the way we did.
Friday night found Kenz and me out on a date at The Rusty Barrell. And yes, they spell the word barrel with two L's. It was such a wonderful visit and dinner. We both enjoyed the small sized ribeye. I would have much preferred a leaner cut, like a sirloin—but it wasn't on the menu. I could have ordered the chicken breast, but really, this place is known for their steaks...I was having a steak. We both enjoyed the dinner and each others company. It was a fantastic evening indeed!
Oh by the way, I must clear something up! Ang--that picture of Kenz and me after doing the 30 day shred--She rocked that thing...while I just kind of barely made it through. She was giving it her all--and I wasn't, honestly. I was trying to keep up--but not very well. Kenz absolutely knows how to get her workout on---I'm absolutely needing to learn by her example! But anyway--that's why I may have looked "less shredded." ;)
Saturday was busy, very busy---but very enjoyable. I enjoyed lunch with Kenz and her dad Wayne, before rushing off to a hair appointment. There's actually video of my brow wax that I've yet to upload from Kenz's iPhone, but will soon. I needed a haircut really bad! After the hair cut and wax, we made our way to the theatre for “Hankerin' For Hank,” a tribute to Hank Williams. I took the stage at the start to welcome the audience of well over 500 on behalf of KPNC. The confidence I feel in front of an audience now is twenty times better than it ever was at over 500 pounds. I can move, I can breathe, I'm not worried about what I look like...as much. Hey, some things take a while to fully realize. But honestly, I do realize better now than ever before.
Courtney and I enjoyed lunch at KFC Sunday afternoon while we waited on the clothing store to open at 1pm. This KFC has a buffet—and when you reach the counter, they just assume you're going to order the buffet. We did not. Courtney had me order first. I asked for a grilled breast dinner with mashed potatoes (gravy on the side), and green beans---hold the biscuit. Courtney, followed my lead, saying “I'll have the same thing.” We were told that they would deliver our meal to the table, so we found a place to sit down and we waited. Our food arrived complete with a 180 calorie buttermilk biscuit on top. I could have allowed it, but I just didn't want to “invest” the calories---and I didn't want it around me either, so I handed the gentleman the biscuit, reminding him that my order was without biscuit. He probably thought, why don't you just not eat it and throw it away? He didn't understand—their biscuits and I, well—we have a history that goes back longer than he's been alive. Some things are easier to resist than others, and I decided going in---I wanted less than 350 calories with this meal...and 180, or even 90 for half a biscuit, wasn't a part of this plan. Our meal checked in at 330 calories each. And we both agreed, we were very satisfied—and it was delicious!!! We were fed and off to shop!!
We were both shopping today. Courtney for school clothes and me for a new pair of jeans and a plain black shirt. Courtney found what she wanted and so did I! I tried on and fit comfortably into a pair of 36 Levis! Size 36 waist---really??? Me??? Yes---it was beautiful. Now I must say—it's all in the cut and style. I also tried on a 38 in a style that felt very tight---But still, the tab in my new jeans says 36---and that absolutely rocks!!! I'm loving this transformation stuff!
Courtney had to work this afternoon, Kenz was away with her dad and a family friend, and I was alone at the apartment, working on my presentation for Tuesday's speaking event in Tulsa. Once again—if you would like to be there, visit www.babwa.org and click on the “next meeting” tab at the top. You'll see the write up on me and also find instructions to RSVP. They really need the RSVP's as soon as possible. Monday by noon at the latest. The cost is $15 at the door. Oh—and this is handy---they have a 24 hour reservation hotline---(918) 624-9333. I've had a few readers in the Tulsa area tell me they would love to be there, but since it's in the middle of the day—they can't get away from work. I completely understand!
Before I wrap this edition, I wanted to share an email reply I sent to a reader today. Sharon in South Carolina is having tremendous success. She's lost nearly twenty pounds in a month and is absolutely sailing along beautifully. She wrote about her past struggles and those of her loved ones—and how things are going now. I'm so happy for her!
The difference between this being a struggle and being an enjoyable road all the way---is completely between our ears. It is a friendship with food, an understanding---it's just living---simplifying the process...and realizing that we can do this in a most enjoyable way that will leave us wondering what the trouble was all of those years. The trouble is always what WE make it. The limitations, the rules, the frustrations---we choose it all...it's perspective. It's letting go of every excuse or rationalization that have always held us back. It's no longer being the "victim." It's choosing change before change chooses us. It's a very powerful idea. Empowering. It's deciding that this is too important to allow any emotion, circumstance, person, place, or thing steal it away from us. We deserve this freedom---it's ours if we choose to make it one of the most important things we've ever done. The importance level MUST be set that high, because if it isn't---it becomes too easy to just say..."oh well, we'll try again some other time." Make this the LAST TIME. Because if we don't---"someday" will come anyway---and changes will choose us---and if it's not on our terms, we're probably not going to like those changes. Choose the change you've always dreamed about. You're completely free to fly my friend!!!!!!!
Thank you for reading! Goodnight and...
Good Choices,
Sean
330 calorie KFC visit (or is it “KGC?”) No problem! We loved it!
The tab in my new jeans. When I hold them up—my brain doesn't register that they'll fit. They look so small—but then, feeling like some kind of magician---I magically fit into them. It's certainly no magic trick—this is real stuff my friend!
Recent picture—Courtney and Me
