Day 672 "Soon" and "Someday" and Unexpected Blessings Along This Road

Day 672

"Soon" and "Someday" and Unexpected Blessings Along This Road

In the lyrics of Jimmy Buffet, I find my sentiment toward my normal, calm, confident demeanor: "Come Monday, it'll be all right, come Monday, I'll be holdin' you tight. I've spent four lonely days in a cloud and a haze and I just want you back by my side." The last five days have been crazy busy, and full of exciting new experiences. Some, like the wedding weekend, I've written about, others--not yet. I'm very reserved, a realist with a capacity to never let current reality stand in the way of aspirations, but with a careful, firm grip on the ground below--I confidently proceed toward my highest goals, goals that are closer than they've ever been---all thanks to my weight loss.

This total mind and body transformation is so much more than fitting into booths, airplane seats, and smaller clothes. It's all about living the life you truly desire, and having the health to do and enjoy exactly what you dream. It's big picture thinking, my friend, big picture, the kind of thinking that easily became lost, dusty, and forgotten when I was at my heaviest. It's hard to dream when you're so busy just trying to survive morbid obesity. I challenge you to envision your transformation and for goodness sakes, dream again!

I prepared two whole eggs over easy this morning. No pita, no mushrooms, no cheese...Just a couple of really good--perfectly prepared (thank you very much) over-easy eggs. A little salt and pepper, and it was a very tasty way to start the day. I really should have had a little more---that was only a 140 calorie start. But I needed to make a grocery trip, something my schedule of late has prevented--so I was short on veggies and fruit, and a few other things.

I ended up at the grocery store late tonight--and can you believe that I forgot the mushrooms?? How does that happen? I love mushrooms in my cooking...mushrooms are a staple in the Anderson kitchen, along with mozzarella, Joseph's 60 calorie flax, oat bran, and whole wheat flour pitas, tomato sauce, chicken breast, coffee and non-dairy creamer.

My day today was jam packed from 6am to 5:30pm, with a very small window of opportunity for a nap before play rehearsal. Soon, my schedule will return to normal---"soon," a word I can't stand--because I always said "soon" at my heaviest. When my mom would call me at 2am, consumed with worry and asking, "Son, when are you really going to get busy losing this weight?" I'd always reply, "soon Momma, soon--someday I'll get it together." Yeah---"soon" and "someday," not a big fan of those words.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, a quick nap...I know better, I really do. I don't take "quick" naps. It's all or nothing in the nap department. I woke up in a mad dash to get dressed and on the road to the theatre. I put on my baggy slacks and realized, I've lost enough in just the last two weeks to really notice a difference. I'm constantly pulling up these pants. Really, I may just go out and buy another pair of pants. It's time to completely let go of these 40-42's and fully accept and embrace my current 36-38 waist. I'd look smaller on stage, and that should be motivation enough to get that done at least by Wednesday.

This transformation road is full of unexpected blessings. When I started on Day 1, I never realized that this blog would give me anything more than an accountability factor and therapeutic value in writing out all of my feelings along the way. I was hoping that it might also inspire others, you know---family and friends, and those blessings have and continue to happen, absolutely. But the biggest unexpected blessing for me along this road is when I read something like this from someone I've never known. Here's a couple of comments left on yesterday's blog :

Sean, The day I saw your story featured on AOL is the day that my life changed. I'm 25 years old and I've been overweight for at least 15 of those years. I've struggled so hard with so many of the same things I've read about in your blog so far, and I can't begin to describe how much of a difference in makes to really SEE that I'm not alone, and not just hear someone tell me I'm not.I was on the bandwagon for about two an a half inconsistent weeks, counting my calories and exercising--when I could convince myself too--when I saw your story before work on the 14th. I wrote a journal entry that day, and officially started my own blog the very next. I'm on day 5 of my own journey. Every night I've posted my own blog to my facebook before reading more of yours.I can honestly say that these five days have been some of the most amazing ones of my life, and I've cried almost every one of them! They have been some of the happiest, most relieved tears I've ever shed. In fact, I had to pause writing this response because I teared up when I KNEW my life had changed.Thank you so much.And I'm proud to report that since the 28th of June, I've lost about nine pounds, even with the struggles of the first few weeks." --Melissa S. Anchorage, Alaska

"You can make a new friendship with food that will benefit you the rest of your life" "WOW... breakthrough time! What a great perspective, when for years I've viewed food as more the enemy, than a friend. AND its so true. OMG..I am adding this as a Sean Quote to my 'My Motivational' list!!! Thanyou... you're such a legend Sean!!!" --Mwah

I get tears when I read stuff like this. First of all, let me say this: I'm flattered and completely honored that you use "Sean Quotes," but legend? Uh--no...Thank you though...There's only one weight loss legend in my book, and that's Richard Simmons. There will never be anyone like him. Seriously, I'm just a guy who's been a lifetime food addict, a former 500-pound mess of a man who's finally found a way out of the vicious cycle of morbid obesity. I've found peace with food and have benefited greatly in sharing that transformation process through these writings.

It's a strange dynamic really---the one thing in my life I always hated, always blamed for everything, always feeling suffocated and trapped by my morbid obesity---it's the very experiences and weight loss failures of the past---that have armed me with exactly what I needed to be free today. Morbid obesity has made me who I am. I guess it was either going to kill me---or I was going to pick it apart until I found the answers to break free. It was just a race to see who would win. It certainly doesn't own me anymore, and it never will again. I win.

Play rehearsal was decent. Everybody but me was incredible, I was off...really---I was dropping lines, missing cues---and pulling up my pants.

Tomorrow is Courtney's 17th birthday. Wow, I feel old now. I got married at 17...luckily we always instilled in our girls how ill prepared we were for marriage and parenthood, and how they should be patient--and embrace their own personal growth and independence before rushing into a family. But yeah---her turning 17 tomorrow is kind of messing with me. Don't you know I give thanks for my blessings everyday?---and these two incredible daughters are always at the top of that list.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Tammy--Friend and proud member of the PEWC, tipping it up! You can read Tammy's weight loss blog at www.foodaddict-fromfattofab.blogspot.com


This was my sandwich on the trip back home yesterday. Without mayo, the Jr. Roast Beef Deluxe at Arby's checks in at a very nice 210 calories. Add extra veggies for an even bigger, more satifying--remarkable calorie value! Say what you will about fast food, every now and then---not all the time, but every now and then I've found a way to enjoy fast food and still be successful at losing weight. I always remember--it's not the food or the restaurant, it's my choices that make me win, with a balance of common sense and self-honesty in those choices.

Day 671 Friendship With Food, My Friend Tony, and Your Message To Me

Day 671

Friendship With Food, My Friend Tony, and Your Message To Me

These pillows are the best pillows in the entire world. They should sell these in the lobby, I guarantee they would make another fortune. They should have a sign posted in every bathroom, "If you enjoyed your magic wonder pillow, they're available for sale in the lobby, just ask your friendly Hampton Inn guest relations specialist for assistance." That's golden my friend. You're welcome Hilton family. That was my first thought when I opened my eyes at 6:45am. Then my mind quickly focused on my morning schedule. I was determined to utilize the workout room treadmill, grab breakfast, and write yesterday's post. I had a 10am at the Miami Country Club to load out the sound equipment from last night's incredibly successful wedding reception. I'm so relieved it's behind me and everyone was happy.

I put on my workout clothes and headed down to the workout room. I was all alone, and perhaps that wasn't a good thing. Any workout was better than none at all, but I think we naturally push a little harder if we perceive someone else is judging our performance. They're not, usually not anyway--everyone is focused on their workout, they're not concerned about you or me. I was solo this morning, I owned the place----all to myself and feeling a strong two miles coming on. I originally thought about doing a treadmill 5K, but decided on a good two miles instead--I had a schedule to keep. They had the same Precor treadmills as my local YMCA, so I felt right at home. I pushed my pace well enough to achieve a sweaty body in under 25 minutes, so I was happy with the effort.

Breakfast was slightly different than yesterday. I enjoyed some old fashioned Kellog's Corn Flakes, fruit, and a banana. I never eat cold cereal for breakfast, but today--the little 90 calorie single serving sized box looked appealing. I used about a quarter cup of 2% milk, and breakfast was served. I took the breakfast to the room and made myself comfortable in front of the computer for a short writing session. The cereal was very good. I haven't allowed cold breakfast cereal along this road, because well, I'm not sure I trust myself. At this point, I would most likely be fine, but it's just one of those trigger foods I've written about before. Cereal and I have a history. You understand, right? In this controlled portion setting, we were fine with each other, but still---The memories remain of the two or three large bowls after dinner or right before bed...yeah, a history sure enough. But I know, I'm not that guy anymore. I guess those memories are just close enough to make me feel uncomfortable.

Tony Posnanski wrote about me today. Thank you sir! You know him better as "The Anti-Jared," and after interviewing him last year via telephone and reading his blog for sometime, I feel like I know him as a friend. We're very different on many levels, yet very much the same. We're both among the 200 pounds-plus-lost list of weight loss bloggers...and that's a real short list. Small company for sure, and I'm honored to be along this road with Tony. If you think Tony is a little hardcore, I encourage you to read his archives, especially when he became a father for the first time. In a post titled "It Is Ok To Cry," I discovered a side of Tony I didn't know existed. That post from Tony wiped away his tough guy image in my mind forever, he was like me---He was very real, with very real emotions, and very real dreams...and his weight loss was helping make those dreams come true. If you're not familiar with the man known as "The Anti-Jared," then please---give him a look. His "gun show" is impressive (my words, not his--at least I've never noticed him using the term). I gotta get me some like that! But again, there's a bunch of things impressive about his transformation. And like me, the least of it is the physical transformation. Thank you for the inspiration Tony. You my friend, are incredible, and I'm honored to be in your company.

I traveled back in time to exactly one year ago today, I do it everyday. I found this excerpt from Day 307:

I know of a few friends, some that blog, some that don't, that are experiencing some really tough times with their weight loss efforts. Two of them have already lost nearly 100 pounds, but still are experiencing horrible relapses in their behaviors with food. For them I offer this: It's not too late to get back in that groove that has given you so much success so far. But as you return to that groove, consider a couple of things. Have you been focusing on the things that you know will drop the pounds, and ignoring the necessary mental changes that will keep you consistent? Just eating less and exercising more doesn't do it for the long term. Like any weight loss plan, it will work, but you know that true change only sticks around when we change our minds about food.

Are we trudging through, struggling every step of the way? Or are we rejoicing in a new found way of thinking, where the weight loss becomes a side effect of our transforming brain? This new way of thinking means no longer using food irresponsibly. No longer using it like a weapon against our emotions, it's so easy to write and read on the screen, but seriously...think about this:

A huge part of this transformation for any of us, is realizing that food is our friend. And treating food right, instead of abusing that friend. It's a relationship that we must recognize. In the past, I used and abused food. Food was treated horribly, I used it as a weapon against my emotions, I used it when I was stressed, when I wasn't having a good day, when the world seemed completely stacked against me...food was my way out. A way to find something that was good in what seemed like a horrible existence. This way of using and abusing food is so widely accepted, we refer to certain foods as “comfort” foods. And that makes it OK, because everybody knows that mashed potatoes and gravy or ice cream---well those are “comfort” foods...we're supposed to drown our sorrows in them. Baloney! It doesn't have to be that way! This isn't something I realized from Day 1, I had to develop along the way. I had to understand my relationship with food, and once I did, once it was clear...I've been rejoicing in a new found way of thinking every since.

And when you truly decide that food is no longer to be used to combat emotions or comfort your feelings, it forces you to deal with your issues in other positive ways, leaving your journey unscathed through it all. At first, you may feel like a gunfighter without a gun, but after a while it gets easier. You become aware of how you're treating food, and you end up changing the pattern. We've all heard the phrase “Eat to live, don't live to eat,” but have you ever really thought deeply about that phrase? Or when someone says “it's got to be a lifestyle change,” sure, absolutely! But are we really understanding what that truly means?

It means becoming a responsible friend of food. You don't have to be afraid of it anymore. You can make a new friendship with food that will benefit you the rest of your life---and the side effect? Losing weight and feeling great! Put up your steel curtain zone and defend your journey from the desires and abusive ways you've used food in the past! Make that decision that nothing, and I mean nothing is going to keep you from reaching your goal. A goal that isn't just about a certain weight, it's a goal that means complete control for the rest of your life. This journey is too important. You deserve this success! You deserve to feel what I'm feeling after the first 189 pounds have come off me. It's like a whole new world opens up to greet you.

Drop the excuses, and the rationalizations that have made you feel justified in your past behaviors, stop blaming everything for your struggles, and get super honest with the most important person...YOU. Get honest with yourself, brutally honest about those behaviors...and embrace 100% accountability and responsibility for your own behaviors and choices with food. It'll change your life my friend. It really will.

We headed back to Ponca City shortly after noon, stopping for a quick lunch in Bartlesville. Arby's was the winning choice, and I was comfortable with that choice. I know the calorie counts pretty well here, I was going to navigate this place in an effortless way. I ordered a Jr. Roast Beef Deluxe and a single potato cake. This sandwich has fresh veggies and lean roast beef, but beware---it also has real mayo. I love mayo, don't get me wrong, but in the world of calorie values I'd rather spend that 50 calories elsewhere. With mayo it's 260, without: 210. And that may be the best fast food sandwich calorie value I've ever enjoyed. 210 calories for the sandwich and 130 for the single potato cake...add 25 calories for ketchup--and my lunch checked in at 365 calories. I'm thinking cool!

My water today has been enough, but not as good as my last two. Friday's 104 ounce performance was over the top. I hit my 64 today with the last 20 ounces coming about an hour before bedtime. As I visited the bathroom at 3am, I thought, I should really hit my water goal a little earlier in the day.

I napped good and hard upon my return to the apartment. The entire weekend was fantastic but tiring, mentally and physically. No complaints here...Just happy this weekend is in the books!

By the way, something has been heavy on my mind lately. And when I say "lately," I mean--since the AOL exposure. I'm usually very responsive to e-mails and messages, I always have been. But with so many, it's really hard to respond quickly. Your message to me is very important. I think I'll make my way through and try to read and respond to even just a few a day, and eventually I'll get to all of them. I'm so very blessed to have such incredible support. Thank you deeply, I'm so grateful. And I'm a very compassionate person, and super passionate about weight loss---so when I receive an email or facebook message that shares someones emotional place along this road---it's almost impossible to not just drop everything and write a detailed response. I do care, and always will, because I've been right where you are. I sincerely appreciate your support. And remember, if you've recently sent me a message of some kind and I haven't responded, please be extremely patient with me. I'm getting there my friend.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Saturday morning hotel breakfast


Sunday morning hotel breakfast


My plate during the reception. I did go back for another mini-egg roll, more fruit, and roast beef slices. Oh---and that bite of cake I wrote about yesterday!


I love this PEWC member with all my heart! My mom with her water bottle. Great job mom!!


PEWC member Lisa Love drinking from a really big jug! Way to rock this challenge Lisa!! Your daughter in the back seat has that look of--mom, seriously? I love that! Lisa shared this about her PEWC experience: I did NOT know Shannon was in the pic until after the fact, and I was heaving my buns off when I saw it! She was napping in the back seat(weekend vacation) and sat up just as I was taking it, and after I snapped the pic, she said "mom, what are you doing?" LOL! I was going to crop her out, but didn't have the heart, if you want to that is fine:) Yes, it's a 3 liter bottle, I drank all of it in a 2 day period, and then some. Hope you are coming down from your AOL high, you deserve the best life has to offer! Love you Sean! ---Lisa Love


Anyone up for a low-fat vanilla soft-serve cone challenge? These little 150 calorie cones have absolutely helped me feel incredibly indulgent while staying perfectly on track. Kenz had just sent me a picture of her enjoying one of these---so even though I was really crunched for time Friday afternoon, I just had to get one too and return the picture!

Day 670 Hotel Breakfast Buffet and The Wedding Cake Lingered In My Mouth

Day 670

Hotel Breakfast Buffet and The Wedding Cake Lingered In My Mouth

I woke up this morning knowing it was going to be a busy Saturday, kind of stressful really, I mean--this is Mary Ellen and Rock's wedding! And I'm not sure if anyone told them, I don't normally do weddings. I was so worried about messing up their special reception, but like so many different events in my life, it wasn't near as tough as I made it out to be in my mind. Everything turned out just fine. I guess I was over-complicating this whole wedding DJ business. Still, no matter how successful tonight's wedding turned out, I don't plan on ever working as a DJ at another, as long as I live. Let's hope, anyway. It's stressful, more than it should be.

I woke up hungry this morning. It's a rare feeling for me. Seriously, and some people are surprised by that...but it's absolutely a rarity when this happens. The Hampton Inn has a pretty decent breakfast buffet ready to go every morning, and it wasn't long before I was down there, surveying the options, deciding on the best calorie values available.

The free hotel breakfast buffet, oh my--I always looked forward to this before my life changing trek along this road. I look at things differently now. Look at the choices! Biscuits and gravy, fresh waffles with butter and syrup, pastries, bagels with cream cheese, and greasy sausage patties...oh dear, that's all I would see before. Now I look a little longer, and I end up discovering fresh fruit, scrambled eggs, yogurt, melon, and even oatmeal. There's absolutely no reason in the world to make anything but good choices here. I would have totally blamed the hotel breakfast a couple of years ago, well--what are you going to do? I'd say, I have to eat, right? And all they had was biscuits and gravy and bagels with cream cheese...I was stuck, and I was hungry---Oh well, I'll do better another day. I've actually said things like that before, totally refusing to accept responsibility for my own choices, turning a blind eye to the truth, and shutting down self-honesty at every turn.

I picked some fresh fruit, a 110 calorie yogurt, and some scrambled eggs with salsa. It was a fantastic 300 calorie breakfast! I noticed the other choices and thought, old Sean would love this place. New Sean navigated those calorie value choices like a pro! It feels so good, this new relationship with food, it's a feeling I never knew existed. It's control, it's confidence, it's eating to live instead of the other way around.

I've had my water bottle with me everywhere today. I still managed 72 ounces, and that's awesome. It isn't the 104 ounce performance of yesterday, but I exceeded the required 64 ounces of the PEWC, so I'm good! Speaking of the PEWC, I'm so excited about what this water drinking challenge is doing for people. I know it's making me feel better, and it's seriously helping others...like Annie and my dear Aunt Kelli:

Annie at http://www.annieweighsblog.blogspot.com/ writes:

"Drinking water has been so great! I've had at least 64 ounces each day so far and I am feeling good! My water bottle holds 24 ounces and I have just under three a day. I'm working up to the full three! I have more energy and I just feel better all around. I was having some...ahem...backup issues...and those are now gone and I'm regular again. I'm feeling fuller throughout the day, so since I'm working on weight-loss, that is a great thing! If I'm wanting a snack, I drink water first and only once this week did I end up eating a snack after drinking the water because I was actually hungry and not thirsty. I realized that I was often eating when I was thirsty because I mistook the thirst for hunger. Whoa!"

Aunt Kelli from http://www.snoconegirl.blogspot.com/ writes:

"I want to let you all know how important water is and makes us feel. It's almost like I'm glowing. I was an avid Dr.Pepper drinker..you couldn't get me to drink water for any amount of money in the world. I just wouldn't do it. Well, one day I decided I needed to lose this weight, and drinking pop wasn't going to do the trick for me. So I stopped and I stopped and I stopped. Everyday I was wondering if I was going to start again, because I had so many times before. But not now...I'm done with the pop and onto the water. I thought water is what I am going to have to drink forever. It makes you healthy and it makes you feel good. It's also allot cheaper than buying the pop all the time. So now I'm onto the great tasting pure water. I was drinking 9 glasses a day. I need to stay at that..its good for ya and believe me it helps you lose the weight. I had been on a plateau and when I started drinking the water. I started losing the weight..actually what I call it is: The three W's..Walking, Watching the calories, and drinking Water. You can't go wrong there! So pick up a glass of water and enjoy!" Sincerely--Kelli

How's the PEWC treating you? Let Kenz or me know through a blog comment or e-mail! While you're at it, be sure to attach a water drinking picture, so we can proudly display your water drinking spirit!

The reception tonight was loaded with wonderful food choices. Meatballs, mini-egg rolls, fresh veggies, fruits, sandwich cuts of meats and cheese, and of course: Cake! Uh, no ordinary cake--wedding cake! Isn't wedding cake the best ever? Why is that true? Do the bakers make an extra effort toward absolute awesomeness just because it's a wedding cake? They must...

I grabbed a decent little plate. I took a picture, however--for some reason I'm having technical difficulties getting my pictures from my phone. I had a picture ready to go. I picked a couple of meatballs, a couple of mini egg rolls, some fruit, some cheese, and some lean, thinly sliced roast beef. I skipped the bread, skipped the dips, and ignored the cake for the longest time...but...uh--

There was no way I was going to miss this cake. But I was busy with the music, so I wasn't really thinking about eating a bunch, even wedding cake--I was focused on the task at hand: Not messing up Mary Ellen and Rock's wedding. Close to the end of the night, I strolled into the reception hall and found three small slices of the wedding cake still on the table. It looked amazing! I was the only person left in that particular room. It was just me and the cake. I could have polished off all three pieces in a mad fury, and no one would have ever known or cared--well, I would have...Old Sean wouldn't have given it a second thought. I probably wouldn't have had all three, but 671 days ago, at least two, probably.

So there I was, face to face with a premium wedding cake...wow, it looked amazing. You know what I did? First, let me explain where I was calorie budget wise: I had 170 calories remaining. I had to try this cake, but I couldn't "afford" the calories for a whole slice. Instead, I picked up a slice--took a decent sized bite, and left the rest on the table. I let it linger in my mouth a little, soaking up the amazing flavor, appreciating the hard work it must have required, oh my--it was amazing. And amazing is exactly how I felt when I walk away from that table, back to the DJ booth...I think it's time to play "Celebration." Yeah---we should totally celebrate.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Kelli Anderson--My Aunt--drinking the water and feeling better! Visit her at http://www.snoconegirl.blogspot.com/


Annie at http://www.annieweighsblog.blogspot.com/

Day 669 Good Choices Regardless of Schedule and I Don't Have A Menu

Day 669

Good Choices Regardless of Schedule and I Don't Have A Menu

From the second the alarm sounded at 4am, I knew--this was going to be one of those days that just refuses to stop. Today wouldn't be too forgiving for deviating from the schedule. Everything had a time and place, and my food choices today would need to weave in and around this crazy day...and night.

I started with scrambled egg whites, mushrooms, and American cheese. No pita this time, I'm conserving my supply, like I'm afraid they'll take them off the shelves or something. I tried to get some writing in this morning, but it's so easy to get sidetracked, especially now, with my inbox full and my schedule busy. Sometimes I must go to the computer, write this blog in a word doc, and then go online. It's just too easy to get off track, and on a day like today--we can't get off track.

First of all--let me say this: I'm not complaining! I've created this busy schedule. I'm very fortunate, truly blessed, and very happy...and uh, very busy. With that said, here's my day today:

I'm on the air from 6 to 9am. From 9 to 10am--Post show prep and urgent production. At 10am I needed to pick up my Tuxedo from Spray's Jewelry and Gifts--for my weekend trip. At 10:15, I was scheduled to pick up sound equipment, followed by a mad dash back to the studio for more production, and writing on my lunch hour. I was scheduled for a live broadcast from The Verizon Store from 1 to 3pm, then a quick dash for a low-fat soft serve 150 calorie ice cream cone, then home to get my weekend bag of clothes and such, followed by a 3.5 hour drive to Miami, OK (pronounced My-am-uh). Oh, we're not done just yet. A special reception and dinner at 7pm, followed by yours truly being the DD for my friends here---and they really want to go to a casino. Hmmmm, maybe a little poker will help me relax? I checked into my hotel room at nearly 1am.

I'm on this trip because I've been hired to play music and MC a wedding reception. I don't normally do weddings. I'm a broadcaster, not a mobile dj, but when the owner of the broadcasting company where you host a show, personally requests you...well, OK then...here comes the bride and some Bon Jovi! I do, rock and roll baby! It also gives me a wonderful excuse to wear a tuxedo again. It'll be twice in a weeks time, because Thursday I'm hosting the "Lose To Win" 2010 Awards for Ponca City Medical Center--absolutely I'll be in a tux for that big night!

During a hectic day like today, it's very important to not allow the busy schedule to become an excuse for bad choices. I used to say it all the time, and I've heard it from others on several occasions over the course of my journey: "I'm just so busy right now, but as soon as things slow down, I'll start watching my calories." We say that because it excuses our behavior, makes us feel better, and everyone understands--because, hey, they're so busy, how could they possibly have the time to count calories or be mindful of their choices? I realized early on the road, that if I were still thinking that way, then I was over-complicating everything. Why did I make this so complicated for so long? Because it gave me an out. It prolonged having to deal with those issues. And now, I realize--it's not an issue at all. Learning to eat in a responsible way, making good choices, and maintaining our resolve with everyday food--in everyday situations, no matter the circumstance or schedule, that's just living. That's being normal.

Keep it simple! I've been saying that from day 1. Someone just e-mailed me requesting menus I use, just to get them started. I don't have a menu! I have some favorite foods I enjoy, but I don't have specific menus. Keep it simple. Eat what you like, and nothing you don't. Just understand what you're consuming, read the label for the calorie count and serving size--if it doesn't have a label---go to Calorieking.com I understand where this menu request comes from, because I used to think that way too... Just show me exactly what to eat and when to eat it, and if I can lose weight like that, by golly---I'll do it! But this approach doesn't fix anything. It gives temporary results at best. I've been there. But why is it so tough? Because there isn't a substitute for real mental change concerning our food behaviors and habits. And the only way to make these real profound changes, is to deal directly with our food--the food we enjoy naturally, the food at the reception, the food in the fridge---at that dinner party. Remember, it's really not about the food--it's about you. Keep it simple. Stop stressing over the food, and just be you---and realize that losing weight doesn't have to be about deprivation--it doesn't have to be about eating only certain foods and sticking to some extreme recipe and menu schedule. It doesn't have to be complicated. And if it is? You're making it that way. How do I know? Because I always made it that way.

You'll run into people that will criticize my approach all day long, but they don't understand what I've discovered, and my approach---How it's freed me from a lifetime of food addiction and morbid obesity. They get so caught up in food selection and what's bad and what's good, that they fail to see what I now understand. Our good choices must be our choices, and they'll naturally and completely evolve into better choices as we progress down this amazing road. And as the weight drops, thanks to this simplistic approach, the numbers get really good--much better. Soon, we're off that medication that helped keep us alive before, because the doctor says it's no longer needed. And when you reach that point along your journey, I imagine you'll really cement this in your mind...like I did in mine: The food and exercise part is 20% or less--The mental gymnastics--80% plus...The end result: Good health, yep, better than ever.

I must get moving! Thank you for reading and by the way---I rocked 104 ounces of water today. It was easily a personal one day record. I hope everything is going well for you on the PE WC! The water is absolutely having positive effects on me! Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


I'm making a strange face---Kenz and Me drinking our water at dinner--from my Bayou trip last month.


Known as Onewhocares from the UK--Getting enough H2O!! Find her today at
www.cornwallfitgirl.blogspot.com She's rocking the PEWC!


Drinking from this bottle didn't last too long, before I realized it had a tiny hole on the bottom. At first I thought, wow--I'm really drinking this water fast, then I realized I had a spill happening.

Day 668 It's Non-Negotiable and A Second (chance at) Life

Day 668

It's Non-Negotiable and A Second (chance at) Life

I started this morning in a rush, with little time to do anything other than shower and dress. I can skip some things if I absolutely must. Checking email and facebook? I didn't have time. Morning non-weighted strength training exercises? They'll have to wait until later. Breakfast? No time for that stuff, right? Uh...the biggest NO in the world. It's a must no matter how late I oversleep. Breakfast might be grabbing some fruit and cheese as I fly for the door, but it's never missed. And remember, I was always a "no breakfast" or a "junk breakfast" kind of guy. By "junk breakfast," I mean convenience store fare---Doritos, snack cakes, real Coke, maybe a deep fried cinnamon roll or two. My breakfast choices have dramatically improved, and what has improved even more is my absolute insistence on something good to wake my metabolism. It's a non-negotiable part of my morning routine.

This morning I rushed into the kitchen, turned a pan on low, sprayed it with olive oil cooking spray, dumped some fresh mushrooms in the pan--along with three egg whites. It slowly cooked as I showered and dressed. By the time I returned to the kitchen, I had just enough time to heat a Joseph's 60 calorie flax seed, oat bran, and whole wheat flour pita in the microwave for 15 seconds with a 50 calorie slice of mozzarella. I poured the mushroom and egg white mixture on top and rolled it up burrito style. This incredibly filling breakfast checks in at a low 180 calories---and seriously, it took me less than 5 minutes to prepare. I had some fruit at the studio, a banana and an orange, so I was good until mid-morning---easy.

It happened after the Tulsa World feature article several months ago and it's happening now with this AOL story. People get the wrong idea about my approach based solely on the headline of the story. The World article listed my "Fast Food Tips and Tricks," and the AOL headline mentions my weight loss "without eating salad." I can't blame the media, it's all information I've supplied them. And it's all true. I don't like salads. But---don't get the wrong idea, because I eat fruits and vegetables--and I'm not on some crazy "fast food diet." I eat what I like and nothing I don't. But what does that mean?

My choices had to gradually improve over time. I just knew that if I started forcing myself to eat foods I really didn't like, I would lose weight. What? Yes, I would lose weight, but I would be miserable the entire time, and eventually I would revert to my old habits, my food addiction couldn't tolerate salads or pre-packaged foods too long before I had a meltdown---and I knew that about myself. It was one of the crucial errors I had made in past weight loss attempts. Maybe you're familiar with making that special grocery list, "because tomorrow we're starting!" I decided on Day 1 that I didn't need a special list of foods. I wanted to beat my food addiction---and I knew the only way to do that was face real food, in real everyday real-life situations. That's the reason for my "nothing is off limits" philosophy.

This philosophy completely eliminated a couple of things: Feelings of deprivation and feeling like I was cheating. OK---I might be able to do this! I've never felt deprived and I can't feel bad about myself if I eat a serving of potato chips. Here's what happened: My choices started to gradually improve throughout this journey. A mid-day snack in the beginning may have been a 110 calorie pack of Funyuns. Somewhere along the way, that mid-day snack evolved into fresh fruit. My calorie budget is all about eating normal portions of anything. And since I'm on a budget, I have to make what I call "calorie value" decisions. People still freak out if they see me eating something like a piece of pizza, candy, or even a soft-serve lowfat ice cream cone---because hey, aren't you that weight loss guy? Uh, yeah sure---but what I am more than anything is a normal person. A normal person, eating normal portions of normal food, in normal everyday food situations. If I'm having dinner at your house, there's no need to prepare something special "because we know you're on a diet." I'll navigate my choices in a very normal, very responsible way---with self-honesty about portion sizes and an eye for the best calorie values available at the moment. When I end every blog with "good choices," I'm not saying perfect choices...just good choices. And what that meant on day 1 and what it means today is a little different. The choices evolve in a natural fashion, based on what I like. So my good choices may be different from yours. I like and often enjoy vegetables. I love fruit. I rarely eat fast food these days...all gradual evolutions of my "nothing is off limits" approach. A big salad? Never...and that's ok.

A year ago today is when I visited with a home-bound gentleman who had called the radio station in an attempt to get my advice on losing weight. He was reaching out to me--and I happily traveled to him for a meeting on July 15th, 2009:

I visited the gentleman with the heart condition today. I shared my story with him, I explained where I was emotionally and physically before and on Day 1. I explained to him what I've done and how I've done it...with the food and exercise fundamentals---and a bigger focus on the biggest element: the mental part. I talked about my “Calorie Bank and Trust,” I spoke of the “Steel Curtain Zone.” I talked about the power of a decision. I gave him a weight loss seminar in his living room. And I suggested he consult his doctor about all of this first and foremost. But I don't know if he was listening, really listening. I hope and pray he was, but I got the feeling he wasn't. I've done all I can do. I hope he gets the help he really needs.

I really thought I could make a difference for that guy. Sadly, he wasn't ready to listen. It was a big reminder to me that the spark, the thing that happens that makes you realize that this time it's different---that feeling you get when you're really ready---cannot come from anyone. You can be inspired all day long, but inspiration without action and a strong, internal-personal motivation to change, is absolutely useless in this pursuit. I knew the gentleman wasn't listening back then, because when I finished talking---his first question was "have you ever played the game Second Life?" I've never played a video game called Second Life, but I'm very much living a life that I could only dream of living as a 500 pound man. He couldn't take his nose out of a virtual life game long enough to take control of his real life. I left knowing that there wasn't anything more I could do. I hope and pray that man is still alive today and I hope he's found that life saving epiphany. It just tore me up inside to walk away from him.

This afternoon refused to end until just after 9pm tonight. I left the studio exhausted and ready for bed. A workout today just wasn't happening. I would love to say that I traveled straight to the trail for a 5K, but no---I was tired and hungry tonight. I barely made my calorie budget---because I was just too tired. I enjoyed some fresh guacamole and chips, 400 calories worth, to get me there...oh, it was amazingly good!

I love this water challenge. I spoke with Kenz about the dramatic increase in participants and we both concluded that the number is too high to collect every name for a master list along the sidebar. But make no mistake, if you've accepted the challenge--you're in just like the rest of us. Keep drinking at least 64 ounces a day and pop in with an update comment on Kenz's blog or here--at least once a week. We want to hear how you're feeling!

I feel amazing. This is Day 4 of at least 64 ounces a day and it's easily the most water I've ever consumed in a four day period. My stream is almost perfectly clear. I'm flushing out the impurities like crazy!! Sorry for the visual.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


My Aunt Kelli drinking water! Her blog can be found at http://www.snoconegirl.blogspot.com/


Jessie at http://www.grazewithme.com/


You can do it! 64 ounces a day of pure clean, unadulterated water...The challenge ends August 1st, but the change in water drinking habits might stick around a little longer! I'm excited about the differences I've already noticed---and all of the yet-to-be realized benefits!


Todays featured before picture. Hurts for me to see this...


With Courtney, my youngest...recent.

Day 667 Fundamentals of The Mental and We All Lead

Day 667

Fundamentals of The Mental and We All Lead

Wednesday morning started normal enough, but it didn’t take long to realize this wouldn’t be an ordinary day.

I owe a big thanks to AOL for featuring me in the headlines of their welcome page for nearly eight hours. All day long I’ve received e-mails (over 300), hundreds of facebook friend request and messages, nearly 300 new blog followers, and well over 200 comments on the story found at AOL’s thatsfit.com I don’t know what to say really. Imagine that---I’ve written about every single day in detail along this road---and finally, something leaves me without words. All I can say is, thank you. Thank you for all of the very kind words.

A few have asked about the mental aspects---and so I found this in the archives from Day 232:

Today I received a question from a regular reader. She asked if I had any tips for the mental aspects of the change. Honestly, this entire journey has been about the mental aspects. If you haven't done so, I highly recommend going back and reading from Day 1. Some days will entertain you, maybe make you laugh, some may make you cry...But some...and these are the ones to look for...Some may give you the breakthrough you need to fully understand the mental aspects I talk about. For another regular reader named Rachel, a good friend of ours, it was Day 229 titled "What If It Was Impossible To Cheat" that finely made it click. It was like a breakthrough moment for her. Rachel has read from Day 1 every day along the way. But it took that blog to really breakthrough with her. The following suggestions are exactly what I've done for the mental aspects part of this journey. I suggest:

Forget every rule you thought was iron clad about losing weight.

Admit to yourself that you don't know it all, because someone who knows it all can't learn effectively. Have you ever heard someone say “you can't change him, he's set in his ways.” Be open to a “new,” simple approach to weight loss that really isn't new at all.

Wipe from your mind the idea that some foods are forbidden.

Do some really deep internal self-counseling to discover your “motivating thoughts.” Why do you want to lose weight and feel great? Develop that list and defend it from your old habits at all cost.

Realize that food is not the enemy; you have been your own worst enemy.

Let go of any blame for your obesity that you have ever placed on someone or something.

Admit that you are the one in charge of you. And since that is true, you're completely responsible for your habits, good and bad.

Stop being the victim. Empower yourself to rise above your circumstances instead of allowing yourself to stay chained to them in a depressing existence.

Here's a BIG one: Be 100% completely HONEST with yourself. Stop telling yourself lies. Lies come in the form of excuses and rationalizations. Be honest about them and you'll start to recognize them every time they pop out of your mouth or brain. Stop rationalizing bad choices.

Defeat excuses at every turn. Stop thinking of all the reasons why you'll never be able to do this, instead think of all the wonderful reasons to do this and never give up.

Don't “let yourself off the hook.” Don't say “I have time to do this later, I'll start next week, or next month, or after the holidays, or after we get past all of the birthdays coming up...right now, let's eat!” Maybe you don't have time. I let myself off the hook for over twenty years. If your transformation is important to you, don't let yourself off the hook.

Understand that every action has a consequence, good or bad. Shoot for the good ones.

When you're alone, that's when you have to police yourself extra. Almost every weight loss attempt in my past has ended with me bingeing alone. Don't let yourself down like that. Take pride in your resolve.

Make sure to remind yourself that there isn't a food you can't enjoy at one time or another. You may not have the calories for that cheesecake today, but find a way to work it in sometime soon.

Understand that it will get easier, but only if you put forth a consistent positive effort.

I'm sure there are plenty more spread throughout this journey. Go back and read from Day 1.

Remember, I'm not an expert. I'm just a guy who's been through this stuff my entire life. I was over 500 pounds for the majority of my adult life, until 232 days ago. These things I share are simply breakthrough thoughts and principles I've discovered along the way. If you're skeptical, then hide and watch what I do. Trust me, this is only the beginning of this journey for me. If you stopped reading this blog today and then come back in a few months, you will find me below 300 for the first time since age 16. The most important advice I can give anyone is: Don't make it complicated. Keep it simple! Calories in vs. Calories out. Later you can get more advanced if you want. And eat for goodness sakes. You have to provide your metabolism with fuel my friend. You have to eat and exercise.

We have a bunch of new members in the Positive Effect Water Challenge, wow---a bunch! We’ll try to get an updated list together, but remember---if you said you were participating on this blog or Kenz’s blog---then you’re in! That’s it! Now, all you need to do is push yourself to drink 64 ounces of pure-clean-unadulterated water, everyday between now and August 1st. Just check in and tell us how you’re doing every now and then, even just once a week if you can, whatever fits your schedule. I’ve even had some new members who gave me the thumbs up on my facebook page---so, we’ll try to get all of them together soon—it’ll take a little time. Just remember---64 ounces a day, everyday…pure water. You’re doing it! Thank you for your participation!

One of the fantastic emails today referred to me as a “leader.” Hmmm…well, it reminded me of a blog post I had written a while back, titled in part: “We’re All Leaders” --Here’s an excerpt:

We're really like a flock of geese flying in formation. When the leader is tired, or not at his best, he drops back and another takes the lead for a while. When I'm taking a nap and the girls try to wake me up to no avail, but they take the lead and go workout anyway, they're the leaders. I can't tell you how many times I haven't felt like lacing up and hitting the trail, but then the girls insist. Their enthusiasm for this journey is always enough to snap me out of any laziness I might be visiting at the moment.

For so many years, I was the leader of a different sort. We lead by example, and my example was a perfect recipe for becoming morbidly obese and dying young. That's where I was leading this family, straight into tragic situations and consequences. To become a responsible leader of this family…has been an amazing turn around in our lives. As far as leading others, I don't know if I would call it that. But I do know that I plan on spending the rest of my life sharing my story and trying my best to inspire and motivate people to free themselves from the prison of obesity. And that's the wonderful thing about this journey for all of us. Your success has the power to inspire others; your commitment and consistency will give you the results that may end up providing the inspiration that brings someone to the point of control, the point where they too make the decision to change their lives for the better...to break free, to live.

You can't do it for them, although we wish we could, but you can provide the most inspiring success you can and it will spread to others without much effort on your part. When someone thanks me for inspiring them, it sincerely touches me; it further fuels my efforts and success along this road. And then the success that person experiences can and will do the same for others. It's a wonderful circle of inspiration and motivation. It's a powerful thing. We're all leaders—capable of spreading wonderful inspiration.

I really dislike relying so heavily on excerpts for today’s edition, but I really needed them today. My day today was one of the most exciting and rewarding days of my life. “Thank you” doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel. Very blessed…very blessed indeed.

Thank you for reading! Remember---send in your water drinking pictures! Just email your picture to me at seanboy105@hotmail.com or to Kenz: kenz@alltheweigh.com Goodnight and…

Good Choices,
Sean


Christine from http://www.phoenixrevolution.net/ drinking the H2O!


Long time reader Sarah S. drinking the water while working!


Today’s featured before picture---with mom!


Don’t be scared! I’m proud of this small reminder…the only tattoo I ever need.


My daily water drinking photo is giving fits uploading. I’ll include it tomorrow!


Kenz rocking the water too!

Day 666 Knowing Too Much, Struggling Family/Friends, and The SCZ

Day 666

Knowing Too Much, Struggling Family/Friends, and The SCZ

I woke up this morning feeling really good. Hmmm, could this water challenge have something to do with my overall vibrancy? Whatever it is, I like it. I hit the coffee pot and then the floor for my non-weighted strength training exercises. Things have changed so much. Getting out of bed or anything was always a chore, but now—I spring up and start exercising? Really, me? This transformation has changed so much in my life, from the sometimes complex mental battles—to the simplicity of my morning routine, everything is for the better.

I grabbed a Joseph's 60 calorie pita, scrambled three egg whites with mushrooms, added 70 calories worth of cheese, and my incredibly filling breakfast was served at a low 181 calories. I added a banana and more coffee and I was ready for whatever the day had in store.

My daily time travels into the archives took me to July 13th, 2009. Knowing too much to ever go back is a very real place. It doesn't mean you're perfect. I'm far from perfect. It simply means you've made the mental changes that this journey absolutely demands, when long term-consistent success is the goal. Come with me to exactly one year ago:

After re-reading my writing and the many comments and e-mails, I realized that I need to ease up a bit on myself. Not “take it easy” ease up, but I need to realize that there honestly is no turning back now. I need to get that fear out of my head. I couldn't change my brain back to the old eating habits if I tried. Seriously, fitness and life coach Melissa Walden put it best... “you know too much to ever go back.” And as far as the exercise is concerned, it's not the end of the world if I occasionally take a day of rest from working out. I guess when it's such a part of the daily routine, and then I miss, it reminds me of a time when I didn't concern myself with exercise. But those days are long gone. I need to get over myself, geez. The number one thing I tell people that ask for advice is “be consistent!” Consistency has played a major role in my success so far, so when I show any inconsistency, it drives me nuts. But we're human and it isn't going to be perfect. In contrast to some of the hard struggles some are experiencing, my post must have sounded like a little spoiled baby pouting. I'm over that. Onward and downward we go!

I know several people who are struggling really hard right now. Some are close loved ones, others are friends. They're people I care about deeply. I wish I could do it for them—just hold their hand and guide them every step, but I can't. It must come from within each of them. They know this already---and I know this, but it will never stop me from reaching out and trying to help. Here's an excerpt from that very same day. July 13th, 2009:

I stopped by to see a friend that I know is struggling today. I wasn't there to verbally attack him or offer a tough love speech about how important this is, I was simply there. He could see the difference in me even since the last time we were face to face. I honestly didn't have to say a word. I know where he's stuck. I've been stuck in that place many times. It's a place where we allow our world of stress and circumstance to pull us down into a dark place where nothing matters anymore. The fact that losing weight and getting healthy can only improve our overall outlook in these tough situations becomes completely lost. It's easy to give in to our emotions, to decide that “with everything going the way it's going, I just can't stay focused.” But don't let those circumstances steal away your life. Decide that no matter what comes along—nothing is going to take this away from you. It can try, it can take everything else, but not this. It's too important. We're talking life and death here.

The positive effects of losing weight are so numerous and powerful, it can make a bad situation seem a little better, and a desperate situation seem a little less hopeless. I've never shared personal financial circumstances or details of just how stressful my journey has been at times, and I'm not starting now—I never will, wouldn't be appropriate. But let me say this: If I allowed my stress and personal circumstances to rule my journey, it would have ended flat out on day 2. Only a handful of people know what struggles we've faced and continue to face along this ride, I say this because I don't want you to think 'easy for you to say Sean.' Everything I'm saying, I say from experience. If you're lost on your journey, I just want to hold up a light on the road so you can find your way back, because that detour you're taking is a dead end my friend.

I took a good nap this afternoon, really—I didn't have a choice. I was exhausted and play rehearsal was scheduled for 7pm. Getting dressed for this play shouldn't be so hard. But I struggle with body image issues. My brain is still trying to catch up with my new regular-sized body and my on-stage confidence is on the line. If I feel uncomfortable on stage, it will absolutely show in my performance. Having to get undressed for a bedroom scene in this production is really stretching my comfort zone. OK—It's completely busting it wide open, even though I'm completely covered in this particular scene. I will say this, Chris Williams has been the most understanding director. He's really making this easier for me to handle. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know that acting was always a suppressed dream of 500 pound Sean...well, it's no longer suppressed. We're living it everyday. Dealing with these powerful self-image hang-ups head on is a very small price to pay for the realization of a dream. And in dealing with these issues, I'm coming out stronger for the effort. This transformation stuff is so much more than physical my friend.

I'm so happy that the Positive Effect Water Challenge is taking off so wonderfully! Many more have agreed to take the challenge and drink 64 ounces of pure unadulterated water a day! If you've recently joined, give Kenz and me a little time to update the list of participants. I hit 67 ounces today, with the last 20 coming right before bed. Honestly---It wasn't the best performance, I shouldn't be waiting until bedtime to guzzle enough to meet the challenge. My goal is to have the 64 ounces complete, everyday of this challenge by 6pm. That's a goal. Uh—yeah, wish me luck!

If you're in on the challenge---we want to know how you're doing! And—we would love to feature a picture of you drinking water! Just send a picture of you enjoying some of your 64 ounces to Kenz or me today, and we'll start featuring participants soon. Email the pictures to: seanboy105@hotmail.com or kenz@alltheweigh.com

I hope you get a chance to gain a full perspective of this journey by going back and reading from Day 1. Several emails today have requested more information on the SCZ—The Steel Curtain Zone, and I'll provide that in tomorrow's post. But you need not wait---Just type “steel curtain zone” into the search box at the top of this blog, and you're there.

When someone ask me about the mental aspects of losing weight, I always suggest they read Day 327. What we believe about ourselves can be extremely crippling or incredibly empowering along this transformation road.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


I plan on sharing a water drinking photo everyday of this challenge. I hope to share one of you soon! I'll get more creative with these as we move further along.


This is an old before shot with an “in-progress” photo from 83 pounds ago. I weigh 246 today.


Can you tell I like this one? I do---I guess I need to take more pictures...


Kenz and I thank you for your participation!

Day 665 The Most Water In One Day and The Great Escape--Revisited

Day 665

The Most Water In One Day and The Great Escape--Revisited

Morning non-weighted strength exercises started my day at 4:30am, followed by coffee, and some scrambled eggs, and uh…more coffee. It was mid-morning and not a single ounce of straight, pure, refreshing, unadulterated water had been consumed. Seriously Sean? Remember---your name is attached to this challenge---wow, come on! I spoke with Kenz around the same time I was giving myself this little pep talk---and she encouraged me, she’s great like that. I downed the first bottle quickly; the second was spread over a few hours, and the third was finished by the time I finished with spinning class. I consumed an additional 15 ounces by the end of the evening, after play rehearsal---and so---yeah, I kicked this water challenge first day in the rear with 75 ounces of straight water. That is easily the most pure water I’ve consumed in one single day, this entire journey---and I’m not proud to say that, I’m just saying…it’s true.

I can’t find my fancy water bottle anywhere. Maybe a daughter of mine is benefiting from that nice bottle, not sure---I hope so, because I’m not. I’ve been using the same plastic bottle—refilling over and over. I’ll be getting another dedicated water bottle soon! Until then, I’ll recycle this Deja Blue bottle---at least until I misplace the lid. I always seem to lose the lid! I was so impressed with mom---I picked her up late tonight for a little three day Ponca City getaway, and she was carrying a beautiful eco-friendly water bottle. Mom is rockin’ this water challenge! I’m so happy for her!! And here’s a ‘like mother-like son’ example: Mom said, “I did it, I did the 64 ounces today—and it’s the most pure water I’ve consumed in one day, ever.” Me too mom, me too!

My broadcast day started at 6am in the parking lot of Ponca City Medical Center. We were live on location for the “Lose To Win” final weigh-in. I love being a part of this program, I do---the people make it so wonderful. Lisa Love, a regular reader and commenter on these writings, popped in for her final weigh-in—and it was so cool to see her and have a picture snapped. Lisa!! Congratulations on your success and it was awesome that you could be there during our broadcast. It was just wonderful!

One after another, all morning—people were streaming in, weighing—and going about their business with a spring in their step and a smile on their face. One team weighed in together, and wow---I’m not allowed to share their amazing progress, at least not yet---but everyone on the team absolutely gave it everything---and the results were phenomenal. The award ceremony will be the 22nd in the historic Poncan Theatre. The hospital has asked me once again to put on a tuxedo and MC this big event. I’m absolutely honored!

I made it home this afternoon with a plan. I would nap for a little bit, then hit the 5:30 spinning class at the YMCA, followed by a fast trip home---shower and dress---and straight to play rehearsal at 7pm. It was tight and very hectic, but I’m proud to say---it’s done!

Spinning is something I seriously look forward to doing. The once dreaded cycling with an instructor shouting gears and sprints is now a complete pleasure. The seat doesn’t even hurt anymore, it just took me getting comfortable—that’s all. I drew bike 11. Hmmm…it’s not 12, but no complaints here---11 worked just fine. I was just happy to be back in a spinning class!

Play rehearsal was good, real good---and my food was excellent today. And of course, I totally conquered day 1 of the PEWC!

I traveled back into the archives today, a little further than I normally go---all the way to February 2009---where I found this excerpt about the prison we’re escaping. From February 20th, 2009---Day 159 “The Great Escape:”

For too many years I felt imprisoned by my obesity. I guess I always realized that there was a way to escape, but the escape plan seemed too unlikely. Maybe impossible is the word. Maybe not impossible, I mean, really I knew it was possible, but escaping was just something I dreamed about and talked about when no one was looking or listening. Like a prisoner behind bars, I just accepted that there were things I couldn't do as a 500-pound man, things I probably never would do, or so I thought. I tried to escape several times, but I allowed my emotions, my fears, and my habits to drag me back like guard dogs at the gate. And just as an escapee gets extra time, I'd get extra pounds after every unsuccessful attempt.

Escaping from the prison of obesity forever isn't something that can be done without careful planning, understanding, and opening your mind to learn. Writing about my feelings and experiences everyday and trying to grasp a thorough understanding of what hasn't worked and why, and what can work and why, is like studying the blue prints and guard assignments of the prison. As I go from 505 pounds to a normal healthy weight, I'm breaking down every obstacle that stands in the way. What's amazing is, some of those obstacles, the psychological hang-ups--have lost their power over me like a guard giving a prisoner a wink and looking the other way.

And when I tell people “you can do this too,” it's like we're a group of prisoners planning our great escape. The teamwork and accountability to each other is a key element in seeing daylight here. Unfortunately, not everyone will make it out this time. Some will get caught by emotions, stress, and a deep seeded belief that escaping is nearly impossible. But for those of us who do, our letters and stories of hope from the outside can serve to inspire the imprisoned and help them understand the blueprints and guard assignments a little better for future attempts.

I've been the one caught by the guards so many times. And when I would settle back in my cell, I'd just accept it for a little while, forgetting about the freedom others speak of, not wanting to hear about what was possible...just focusing on what I perceived as nearly impossible. I was waiting for the right time to make my run. Then one day I realized that I had to escape now or else die too young within those stone walls. I didn't have time to wait for “the right time” to magically happen. My time had to be now regardless of the emotional and psychological hurdles that stood in the way. I'm navigating this escape plan with guidance from those that have gone before me. I'm always studying past escape attempts and analyzing where and why they failed. I can see daylight from here my friend, and it looks so good it makes me want to cry tears of joy. Let's go for it!

Cathy Cole—the director of the “Lose To Win” program at the hospital, called me earlier and told me of several who didn’t make the final weigh-in. My heart breaks for them—especially one in particular. My hope and prayer is that they simply couldn’t show up because of work or vacation---and that they’re doing fantastic. But if they are struggling---if they’re slumping down in their cell---still imprisoned---I want them to know: I’ve been there---and you too can escape. I’m here for you my friend. Send me an e-mail. People in this weight loss blogging world really do care---it’s a fantastic—supportive bunch!

Mom is staying a few days at my place! I’m so excited to have her here. I’ll take her with me to play rehearsal tomorrow night and we’ll also workout together and we’ll meet our PE WC goals together!

Thank you for reading! Goodnight and…

Good Choices,
Sean


Pictured with Lisa Love, right after her final weigh-in for the “Lose To Win” Challenge! Lookin’ Good Lisa! You can do this---and you’re proving it! I still have a hard time looking at full body shots of me---But really---that's crazy of me, because it's light years from this...


Full 500 pound-plus body before picture…At the OAB Awards with an award-winning colleague!


An unusual lunch really…but delicious---enjoyed at the studio today while I worked.


Showing the H2O who’s boss! PE WC---Repeat after me---I need to…uh, use the restroom now.


You’re welcome to join late…really, I mean---come on, we would love to have you participate! If you’re in already---Thank you! Kenz and I would love to hear how you’re doing!!

Day 664 Still Learning Everyday and All The Way Back To Day 1

Day 664

Still Learning Everyday and All The Way Back To Day 1

Sunday came, finding me well rested after an amazing 5K last night, and looking forward to the PEWC. I wonder what this increased and consistent water consumption will do for my body? If I see an increase in weight loss, I’m going to be…uh, happy—of course, but also a little miffed at myself for not drinking enough a little sooner. I’ve talked about calendar regret before—how about lack of water regret? Nah, no regrets here my friend. I’m 259 pounds down and feeling fantastic—but I know there are some fundamentals of weight loss I’ve casually handled, or ignored. Drinking enough pure water everyday is absolutely one of those!

I enjoyed an amazing omelet for brunch. I used fresh tomatoes, avocado, mushrooms, and mozzarella. The avocado added about 50 extra calories, but still, after using three egg whites and one whole egg---this big and hearty veggie and cheese omelet checked in at a low 240 calories. I added 150 calories worth of baked hashbrowns, making this a big, filling, giant brunch—but still only 390 calories. It was one of those meals where my brain says, this must be more---can’t be so low, no way!! But yes, yes way—This is called getting the most bang for your calorie buck! Really---I almost couldn’t finish the thing.

I received a call from my cousin Sherri today. Sherri owns an insurance company in Tulsa—and has organized a weight-loss and wellness seminar for August 17th. She originally booked Danny Cahill from NBC’s Biggest Loser, but recently Danny has expressed some disinterest in speaking at this event. So whom does she call? Yours truly!! It makes perfect sense really. Sherri has known me my entire life, I mean---from birth. She may have changed my diapers or baby-sat me, I’m not sure really. But anyway—I was so excited about accepting the invitation! I’ll give them a 40-minute talk they’ll never forget, even without any TV celebrity status! Who needs that, when I have before pictures and old pants, and most importantly--a story I’m proud of and excited to share?

A year ago today was Day 300. The excerpt I’m using from that day, uses an excerpt from the all important Day 1. So---here we go with another excerpt within an excerpt. Someday, I swear---I’ll have an excerpt within an excerpt of an excerpt. From July 11th, 2009 and September 15th, 2008:

In looking back on the past 300 days, I often go back to Day 1. So I thought it might be appropriate tonight to include an excerpt from that first post at 505 pounds:

I also know that losing weight and being healthy and looking good will have tremendously positive effects on every aspect of my life. I've always known that. I firmly believe that I've allowed my weight to hold me back in my career, and more importantly: It's held my family back from fully enjoying life. That's pretty big stuff. I'm writing this blog as a self-motivation tool. I need to write, I need to express my feelings and experiences, I need to continually remind myself of what I need to do and keep doing. That's what this blog is all about. If you read this blog and have a laugh or feel inspired to lose weight too, then it's all the better! But I'm doing it for me. And by doing it for me, I'm also doing it for my beautiful wife and two daughters. How important is it that I lose the weight now? Well...every now and then I day dream a nightmare where I envision my family at my funeral. I know...it's dark! And very scary. But every time I have a little pain I wonder, is this it? Am I about to collapse? Will my funeral be Thursday?? That's very depressing and scary stuff. But when you're as big as I am, it's something that you have to think about all the time. Again, the question comes: Then why is it so hard to lose the weight?

Well, it's hard because there are so many psychological factors that play a part in our daily choices. I eat because it taste good...I eat because I'm stressed out over something...I eat because "we're celebrating"...I eat because it's much easier to eat whatever you want than count calories and make healthy choices. I never exercise on purpose because it's way easier to not. But all of this must change. I convinced myself that my eating and lack of exercise was controlled by my stress level and emotions. So surely I can convince myself that despite a high stress life, I can still eat less and workout. And that's exactly how to lose weight. Eat less and work out. I don't want a surgery or a lapband or anything other than complete control of myself.

This is all about making choices. Every choice we make has a consequence...some good, some bad...Some real good, Some very, very bad. Choices and consequences, that's what it's all about.

So here we are, 300 days later. Is it perfect? No. I don't expect it to be ever be perfect. I often wonder what kind of numbers I would have at this point had it been perfect, but that's silly thinking. But then again, if making consistently good choices is considered perfect, then I guess it's been perfect after all.

Well---OK, now we’re a year and 300 days in, and I must say---That Day 1 post still gets me good. I thought I had an idea of what it would take, but really—I didn’t have a complete perspective on just how much the mental aspects would play in my success. I’ve learned so much along the way, and I’m still learning. When we think we know it all, that’s when the learning ends. I don’t know it all, and I’m still learning everyday. We’re all learning from our experiences and each other. This is a team effort by golly!

My daughters and I dined at one of our favorite Mexican restaurants tonight. The guacamole is out of this world from this place---but at about 500 calories a bowl—according to my research, it’s strictly something we share. I swear---it’s so good, I could eat the whole bowl. But I will not! I will enjoy some, call it wonderful, and move forward! I’m in control now---not food! We spend so much less calories and cash at a place like this, compared to the old days. The difference? We order water and we usually order ala carte—sans beans and rice. I typically order two tacos. That might not sound like much, but with some chips and salsa and this heavenly guacamole, oh my---it’s more than I need, every time, but still within reasonably acceptable portion and calorie limits.

The water challenge starts tomorrow (Monday) and I’m completely ready! Bring it on!! Do you still need to join? Can you commit to drinking 64 ounces of pure water everyday from July 12th to August 1st? Nearly 80 people have joined the challenge already and it’s going to make a tremendous difference for each and every one. If you want to join---it’s not too late---just leave a comment of “I’m in” or something to that effect in the comment section below or as a comment on Kenz’s blog. We’ll add you to the growing list of PEWC participants. By the way—the list is on the left hand side of this blog. You can click on those with blogs and follow their success---and remember, let us know how you’re doing at least once a week during the challenge---preferably on Sunday—or whenever works for you.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and…

Good Choices,
Sean


My omelet in the pan.


My omelet on the plate---complete with baked hashbrowns—390 calorie plate total. I know!!


I swear---I could eat this entire bowl. I LOVE this stuff, especially from El Patio.


Today’s featured before picture. With my late grandpa, Roy Anderson…


Recent “now” picture---sounds redundant, I know…


Have you joined? Come on in, the water is fine!


The first of many 20 ounce increments in my daily 64--

Day 663 For Me, For You, For Anyone and Navigating The Concession Stand

Day 663

For Me, For You, For Anyone and Navigating The Concession Stand

I laid in bed last night, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about all the changes that I've enjoyed, encountered, endured, survived, and triumphed through. While my mind took me on an introspective trip around my world, my left hand was busy feeling my ribs and what's it called? oh yeah...my hip bone. I do this routine on a regular basis---kind of a personal inventory of where I've been, where I am, and where I want to go. And I know—it's all up to me and my choices. That never changes, and it's a feeling of control that I never knew before. It's always been a universal truth, this “good choices” philosophy, but when you're so buried underneath the crud, the truth—especially when it required getting real honest about behaviors and habits, was always the hardest to see, never mind understanding. I always felt like a victim of my own personal circumstantial situation, completely helpless and hopeless—surely I wasn't meant to be this way, over 500 pounds, extremely unhealthy—trapped, or so I thought. When the empowering emotions start to stir, and the key becomes completely visible---and it was right there within reach the entire time, it's a beautiful thing. For me, for you, for anyone.

I enjoyed a banana, coffee, and several dry shredded wheat biscuits this morning. It wasn't my typical breakfast, but it was the light start that felt right at the moment. I didn't feel like cooking and this was easy. It wasn't going to be a busy Saturday really, I mean—I did have a broadcast from the speedway on my schedule from 4 to 6pm, a pre-race hype fest that's always very easy—and over quickly.

Our radio station has been scheduled at the speedway for the last six seasons—and what I looked forward to and didn't look forward to has changed dramatically right along with everything else that is me. I never looked forward to walking around that place. A tour of pit row? I'll pass, unless you have a vehicle of some kind to get me there. I always looked forward to the concession stand---oh yes, the speedway food was and is still incredible. And they will not charge me for anything, and I've tried to pay. I'm the radio guy—whatever I want here, it's on the house. Oh how I looked forward to that perk before. I would seriously be thinking about it on the drive North. Hmmm, maybe start with a big burger and some nachos, then finish with some pizza—oh, and a couple of straight Cokes. It didn't matter if I was actually hungry—I was lusting after the food, with the only consideration being the taste and the good feeling it gave me on the way into my mouth.

Now---I look forward to the “wow” reactions from people that remember the 500 pound version of me. I look forward to getting out and walking around the speedway—I could run it if I wanted or needed, and I know that for sure. My visit to the concession stand was very different today. With a chicken parmigiana dinner planned at home, I really wanted to conserve my calorie budget. But I still needed something. I opted for a grilled hamburger patty and slices of the most delicious home-grown tomatoes in the world! It would have been easy to just accept the menu presented—but seriously, I have the power to choose---and I did---the best calorie value choices I could make, 325 worth---and I was in good shape for dinner later.

I travel back in time to the exact day a year prior—everyday, just to see where I was—and I never know what I'll find. Today's excerpt touches a subject I haven't had to worry about in over a year: Not fitting in theatre seats. And dancing---uh yeah, never been a dancer. Maybe that will change. From July 10th, 2009:

The Theatre was packed when we arrived, so we decided on balcony seating. It's amazing how comfortable the seats are to me. These are the classic theatre seats that I always avoided. I couldn't sit in them at all at over 500 pounds. If you've experienced this, you know exactly what I mean. Seats so small that you can tell just by looking that there's going to be a problem, a big problem. I wouldn't even try for fear of embarrassment. Several times in the past, I would enjoy a production or concert at the Poncan only if I could have an armless chair placed in the back of the gallery in the physically disabled area. Having to sit back there in a regular chair was really humiliating, but I would just try to forget about it and enjoy whatever it was on stage. The feeling of sitting down in that theatre seat and not only fitting perfectly, but really enjoying the comfort and design, is a giant breakthrough. The show was fantastic. I couldn't get over the level of talent in this show...(Grease!)

...After the show, the cast burst into the street for an old fashioned street dance with the audience members. I was a guest DJ, introduced as The Real Vince Fontaine, sure---we'll go with that. I spoke a few times in between records and left the DJ work to Dave. It's funny, I originally took over the KLOR morning show from Dave in November of 2000. Dave is a major talent---so it wasn't easy to fill those shoes. I did the show until stand-up got in the way a little too much by the spring of 2002 and after a brief time away for the L.A. Adventures, I came back and have solidly established my show over the last six years. It's always at it's best when I have Dave as a guest in studio. That guy is an all around entertainer! I spent the street dance doing exactly what I did as a kid at school dances. I stood around and watched people dance. I've never danced. I want to let go and dance someday, and I know I will, but I guess I'm just not ready for everything right this second. Getting accustomed to the many changes this transformation creates takes a little longer than the transformation. And sometimes it takes reminding myself, hey I can do that now!

I enjoyed a nice dinner tonight, it was amazing really! Chicken parmigiana with spaghetti marinara and garlic toast. The entire plate was 650 calories—now just so you know, that's an educated guesstimate---considering all ingredients. The chicken breast, the breading, the small amount of oil for frying, the spaghetti, sauce---and 150 slice of garlic toast. Honestly---I could have easily cut the toast, I'm not a must have bread kind of person---and it would have brought my reasonable serving to a respectable 500 calories. But tonight—the bread just fit nicely with the dish. The old me would have consumed at least double what you see in the picture below. Learning to appreciate, enjoy, and feel satisfied by a normal portion of anything---is a big change in me along this road.

My 5K walk/jog/sprint tonight was absolutely just what I needed. Yes, I said sprint. I made this 5K work me tonight, I made it an amazing workout. This wasn't just a casual walk in the park. The sprinting was in short spurts of course, 50 yards at most per sprint---but I'm really loving them. Making the decision to accelerate, then pushing my body to move faster---with my knees coming up high and my arms pumping like an Olympic athlete, I was runnnnnning. It's not something I'm used to doing, so I can't do it very long---yet, but that feeling of acceleration—oh my, it's the best feeling.

Today was really good. I'm looking forward to the Positive Effect Water Challenge. It starts Monday, are you signed up and ready? Just leave a comment here saying you're in and ready to drink 64 ounces of pure water a day for three weeks! If you already do---join anyway, and share your tips and tricks for always hitting your water goal. Big thanks to Kenz—she's really inspired me to wrap myself around this challenge, and well---she's just really inspired me.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean


Not your typical Speedway concession stand items. Funny—they put it in a plastic nachos container!


Eating good food in normal, completely responsible portion sizes---that's what it's about for me. This was an amazing dish!


Big before shot with mom. That was a favorite shirt of mine!


Recent “in-progress” picture---working out at YMCA


Join today! Challenge runs July 12th-August 1st.