Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day 672 "Soon" and "Someday" and Unexpected Blessings Along This Road

Day 672

"Soon" and "Someday" and Unexpected Blessings Along This Road

In the lyrics of Jimmy Buffet, I find my sentiment toward my normal, calm, confident demeanor: "Come Monday, it'll be all right, come Monday, I'll be holdin' you tight. I've spent four lonely days in a cloud and a haze and I just want you back by my side." The last five days have been crazy busy, and full of exciting new experiences. Some, like the wedding weekend, I've written about, others--not yet. I'm very reserved, a realist with a capacity to never let current reality stand in the way of aspirations, but with a careful, firm grip on the ground below--I confidently proceed toward my highest goals, goals that are closer than they've ever been---all thanks to my weight loss.

This total mind and body transformation is so much more than fitting into booths, airplane seats, and smaller clothes. It's all about living the life you truly desire, and having the health to do and enjoy exactly what you dream. It's big picture thinking, my friend, big picture, the kind of thinking that easily became lost, dusty, and forgotten when I was at my heaviest. It's hard to dream when you're so busy just trying to survive morbid obesity. I challenge you to envision your transformation and for goodness sakes, dream again!

I prepared two whole eggs over easy this morning. No pita, no mushrooms, no cheese...Just a couple of really good--perfectly prepared (thank you very much) over-easy eggs. A little salt and pepper, and it was a very tasty way to start the day. I really should have had a little more---that was only a 140 calorie start. But I needed to make a grocery trip, something my schedule of late has prevented--so I was short on veggies and fruit, and a few other things.

I ended up at the grocery store late tonight--and can you believe that I forgot the mushrooms?? How does that happen? I love mushrooms in my cooking...mushrooms are a staple in the Anderson kitchen, along with mozzarella, Joseph's 60 calorie flax, oat bran, and whole wheat flour pitas, tomato sauce, chicken breast, coffee and non-dairy creamer.

My day today was jam packed from 6am to 5:30pm, with a very small window of opportunity for a nap before play rehearsal. Soon, my schedule will return to normal---"soon," a word I can't stand--because I always said "soon" at my heaviest. When my mom would call me at 2am, consumed with worry and asking, "Son, when are you really going to get busy losing this weight?" I'd always reply, "soon Momma, soon--someday I'll get it together." Yeah---"soon" and "someday," not a big fan of those words.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, a quick nap...I know better, I really do. I don't take "quick" naps. It's all or nothing in the nap department. I woke up in a mad dash to get dressed and on the road to the theatre. I put on my baggy slacks and realized, I've lost enough in just the last two weeks to really notice a difference. I'm constantly pulling up these pants. Really, I may just go out and buy another pair of pants. It's time to completely let go of these 40-42's and fully accept and embrace my current 36-38 waist. I'd look smaller on stage, and that should be motivation enough to get that done at least by Wednesday.

This transformation road is full of unexpected blessings. When I started on Day 1, I never realized that this blog would give me anything more than an accountability factor and therapeutic value in writing out all of my feelings along the way. I was hoping that it might also inspire others, you know---family and friends, and those blessings have and continue to happen, absolutely. But the biggest unexpected blessing for me along this road is when I read something like this from someone I've never known. Here's a couple of comments left on yesterday's blog :

Sean, The day I saw your story featured on AOL is the day that my life changed. I'm 25 years old and I've been overweight for at least 15 of those years. I've struggled so hard with so many of the same things I've read about in your blog so far, and I can't begin to describe how much of a difference in makes to really SEE that I'm not alone, and not just hear someone tell me I'm not.I was on the bandwagon for about two an a half inconsistent weeks, counting my calories and exercising--when I could convince myself too--when I saw your story before work on the 14th. I wrote a journal entry that day, and officially started my own blog the very next. I'm on day 5 of my own journey. Every night I've posted my own blog to my facebook before reading more of yours.I can honestly say that these five days have been some of the most amazing ones of my life, and I've cried almost every one of them! They have been some of the happiest, most relieved tears I've ever shed. In fact, I had to pause writing this response because I teared up when I KNEW my life had changed.Thank you so much.And I'm proud to report that since the 28th of June, I've lost about nine pounds, even with the struggles of the first few weeks." --Melissa S. Anchorage, Alaska

"You can make a new friendship with food that will benefit you the rest of your life" "WOW... breakthrough time! What a great perspective, when for years I've viewed food as more the enemy, than a friend. AND its so true. OMG..I am adding this as a Sean Quote to my 'My Motivational' list!!! Thanyou... you're such a legend Sean!!!" --Mwah

I get tears when I read stuff like this. First of all, let me say this: I'm flattered and completely honored that you use "Sean Quotes," but legend? Uh--no...Thank you though...There's only one weight loss legend in my book, and that's Richard Simmons. There will never be anyone like him. Seriously, I'm just a guy who's been a lifetime food addict, a former 500-pound mess of a man who's finally found a way out of the vicious cycle of morbid obesity. I've found peace with food and have benefited greatly in sharing that transformation process through these writings.

It's a strange dynamic really---the one thing in my life I always hated, always blamed for everything, always feeling suffocated and trapped by my morbid obesity---it's the very experiences and weight loss failures of the past---that have armed me with exactly what I needed to be free today. Morbid obesity has made me who I am. I guess it was either going to kill me---or I was going to pick it apart until I found the answers to break free. It was just a race to see who would win. It certainly doesn't own me anymore, and it never will again. I win.

Play rehearsal was decent. Everybody but me was incredible, I was off...really---I was dropping lines, missing cues---and pulling up my pants.

Tomorrow is Courtney's 17th birthday. Wow, I feel old now. I got married at 17...luckily we always instilled in our girls how ill prepared we were for marriage and parenthood, and how they should be patient--and embrace their own personal growth and independence before rushing into a family. But yeah---her turning 17 tomorrow is kind of messing with me. Don't you know I give thanks for my blessings everyday?---and these two incredible daughters are always at the top of that list.

Thank you for reading. Goodnight and...

Good Choices,
Sean

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Tammy--Friend and proud member of the PEWC, tipping it up! You can read Tammy's weight loss blog at www.foodaddict-fromfattofab.blogspot.com

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This was my sandwich on the trip back home yesterday. Without mayo, the Jr. Roast Beef Deluxe at Arby's checks in at a very nice 210 calories. Add extra veggies for an even bigger, more satifying--remarkable calorie value! Say what you will about fast food, every now and then---not all the time, but every now and then I've found a way to enjoy fast food and still be successful at losing weight. I always remember--it's not the food or the restaurant, it's my choices that make me win, with a balance of common sense and self-honesty in those choices.

16 comments:

  1. Sean...that's a very romantic song...and weddings are very romantic occasions...

    Best wishes for those dreams. :-)

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  2. Melissa's story was very touching. I can relate, since I feel to blessed to have found you almost from the day I started last year in August. You truly have been my daily dose of inspiration. I NEVER miss your post. I laugh with you, cry with you, and cheer for you!

    I will be the first in line to buy your book...you know, the one you WILL write someday! And I have a fun suggestion in that regard, for you to do sometime: put out a call to all your followers to send you their favorite Sean Quotes, and see what turns up!!

    I'll bet you will be surprised at how many of us have a file of Sean Quotes... I know I do! In fact, I have so many, it'd be hard to pick just one.

    You've been are real blessing to me in my journey... as always, thank you so much.

    Loretta
    =^..^=

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  3. I love that you still seem surprised by how much you inspire people!

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  4. I have a lot of things to say, but I'll keep it short today..those dreams are coming to fruition Sean...they are, and there's so much more to come. I can't wait to see it and experience it with you!

    Also, Tammy is looking pretty in pink in the water photo. I'm totally going to post her on my blog later too.

    I know I already told Courtney happy birthday, but Happy birthday here too lady! :) Wow Sean..you're sooooo old. haahahahaha I'm just kidding darlin'...I'm glad you're no longer 17, ya know?

    You are an inspiration to so many..myself included..:)

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  5. ive started reading your blogs two days ago. ive struggled with weight my whole life. but thanks to your courage and all that you have gone through to lose weight, i now feel like i have new hope. im glad i came upon your blogs. i am going to give weight loss another try. God bless you and your family and thank you so much for sharing your struggle with the world because had it not been for you i wouldnt have newfound hope for myself. sincerly brenna ryan

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  6. Hey Sean I resently stumbled onto your blog, and I find it very interesting. I resently started weight watchers, on march 29th 2010 to be exact, and I have lost 103.2 up to now. I also started my weight loss journey at a weight over 500 lbs. I weighed a wopping 590 lbs. I now weigh 486.8, and I could not be more excited. It inspires me to see others lose that much weight I know that I can't wait to make goal. I also have a blog showcasing my weight loss journey called a year in the life of a weight watcher member. If you want you can find it at www.weightwatchermember.blogspot.com Keep up the great work.

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  7. Sean, I've been reading for quite some time now and you never cease to amaze me with your ability to write. You are very talented amd have matured and evolved every day in this blog. Today, your second paragraph had a profound effect on me, and in my opinion, is the best thing you have written to date. It is my pleasure to read and be inspired. Keep it up Sean, for you have left a lasting impression on me and many others and I suspect that number will exponentially increase in the days, months, and years to come.
    Take care,
    Joe (the Royals lover/Yankees hater, sorry Kenz)

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  8. Sean, I just wanted to let you know that every time I read your blog, it's like someone else is taking "MY" story and puting it into words. I want to cry every time I read it. So far, I have been on a journey to better health for a little over a month now. I have failed many times, and picked myself back up. I too am doing the water challenge, although on weekends it's a bit difficult.
    Anyway, thank you for being so transparent and even without knowing it, leading us to victory!!!!

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  9. Hi Sean! Read your story on ThatsFit.com. I too have been on this journey to lose weight. Doing the same thing witht he calorie bank. Some days are so hard so it's nice to know that on a bad day I can visit your blog. I have a blog too - don't write everyday but it's truly therapuetic for me as well. finallyflippedtheswitch.blogspot.com OH AND I LOVE THE FOOD PICS!!! :-)

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  10. And I'm going to take this water challenge of yours!

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  11. Sean just wanted to thank you for putting your life out for everyone to read!! I am inspired by you everyday and have needed some inspiration for a long time!!I too have failed many times but i continue to remind myself that i need to keep to going no matter how bad ive done that day!! my hardest times are at night!!! Get bored and when my kids are in bed thats when everything goes out the window. But i dust my self off and try to not to look back at my failure and try to keep going and take it one day at a time.

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  12. So - it's my lunch break at work, and I really really shouldn't cry at my desk. But I cannot help it. The words, "thank you, Sean" aren't enough. You see, I've been lurking around your blog since last week. You can read about it here: http://asomfs.blogspot.com/.

    I'm a talker, I'm social and you'll never find me unable to explain how I'm feeling, what's happened recently, etc. But FOOD. Well, that's another story. My relationship with food, my addiction to big yummy plates of the stuff is something I never, EVER talk about, much less write about.

    But now - NOW - I'm reading it online. 672 days worth. I know it's your story Sean, but it's mine too! My life is changed - I'm not alone - I'm not helpless - and the camera angle this week is VERY VERY different from a week ago. You ARE a hero ... not just to your girls or your friends or your family - but to US. Those of us out here who will most likely never shake your hand, or give you a hug or find a way to show you appreciation for inspiring us - we truly feel that. Like you, I'm just the parent of a college kid ... but with over 200 lbs between me and the long, fulfilling life I know I'm destined to have.

    So thank you. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. These are transformative days, my friend - and you, Sean, are our hero, our legend and our mentor. And as your friend Kenz may say (ty to her too!), "No pressure - just sayin'! "

    Hugs,
    Beth.

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  13. A fellow-weight losing-friend of mine gave me the link to your blog today and i was browing through the images and blog posts and i am teared up. Amazed and inspired by you is not strong enough to say how i feel right now. When i started my weight loss a couple of months ago I was myself over 500lbs and i lost 100lbs already - also the completely natural way without pills or surgery and stuff. At the beginning it is really not that hard because of the mass but i know it will become more difficult. To follow your blog will show me everytime when i think it becomes too hard, that it is totally worth it. To become healthy and confident and to be able to look back and say "Hell yes i rock as losing" *laughs* Thank you for sharing your story with us all and being such an amazing inspiration.

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  14. Sean, I want to thank you for showing that blogging is a great tool for weightloss. I started my own, I think Kenz is a follower too, and one thing I promised was to not hold any thing back, or do any of what I call "Shane rationalizations". I have been completely honest all three days and that has brougt about some revelations. I have dieted several times befor and was extrememly succesful in 2000-2001 when I lost 73 pounds and was in great physical condition. But I hurt my ankles getting there and have since fallen down. Now I see that I need to do the weight loss in a reasonable manner that is maintainable. I appreciate you opening my eyes speaking so inspirationally. I find it funny that you said to envision your goals. I am only trying to lose 10 pounds right now, but I found myself daydreaming on my drive home of a day when I am skinnny enough that there is a great deal of space between myself and the steering wheel!! Kinda crazy I know but it is one of my goals.

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  15. Still waiting on my Richard Simmon's "Sweatin' to the Oldies 2" to come in the mail. Grrr.

    I prefer Richard over floor exercises when I am not swimming laps, walking, or working out at the Y. I have been swimming for the most part the past 2 weeks, and it has felt great! 15 lbs to go to reach my goal...I will get there slowly but surely:)

    Take Care and God Bless!

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  16. A disc jockey got the words wrong? The correct lyrics are, "I've spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze, and I just want you back by my side".

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